Julie A. Fast's Blog, page 57

Hope for Partners of a Person with Bipolar Disorder

I remember when my partner Ivan came out of the hospital after a three month manic/psychotic and then suicidal depression mood swing. I was worn out from the months he was there. It was a terrible time. I then had to face that fact that he was far from well when he got home. Sometimes I wonder how we got through it. This time in my life was the inspiration for my book Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder.

I remember the fear, worry and guilt when I didn’t want to go to the hospital. I remember how unaware I was about bipolar disorder. It still astounds me that the staff at the hospital was very kind and yet gave me no tips on managing our lives when he got home. There are many ways to manage this time successfully. Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder explains a lot of these. I know that this book is used a lot in hospitals now- what a change!

Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder has sold over 130,000 copies. I never knew there were so many partners out there who need help! If you love someone with bipolar disorder, how are YOU holding up?

Julie

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Published on June 24, 2013 00:12

BP Magazine Blog: Do you minimize bipolar disorder behaviors?

Interesting question- many of us would say no. But I’ve found that people who love those with bi-polar disorder do get used to some very stressful, aggressive, scary, uncontrolled and confusing behavior. It’s often easier to let things go than face the issues and know that your life may be miserable for awile.

This is one of my main areas of focus in my family member and partner coaching. It’s so easy to get used to truly unacceptable bipolar behavior- recognizing this and making changes is a huge step towards stability for everyone in the family.

Cleck here for the blog. I’d love to read your comments.

Julie

Click here for more information on my family member and partner coaching.

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Published on June 22, 2013 00:38

Bipolar Disorder Mania and Psychosis: Are you in there Ivan?

When my former and much loved partner Ivan got sick, it happened very, very quickly. There were small signs for weeks that we missed- but that’s understandable and no one had ever even heard of bipolar disorder in my family.

We knew something was wrong on the day of his 21st birthday party.

He looked different- his eyes were wide and his face was very illuminated. He talked constantly and had very strong opinions on things he had never found interesting in the past. He told me how to parallel park my car and he didn’t drive!

We laughed because it was all so crazy. What was he doing? He’s a fun and interesting guy, but all of this talking and disagreeing and telling us his ‘genius’ ideas was not like him at all. When it became bizarre, we knew something was wrong.

That was the first night of an eight month journey of hospital stays, court visits, medication side effects, relationship fears and unbelievable stress.

When my coaching clients ask me how I understand them so well, I can always say: I have been there!

One day I was in the back yard with Ivan. It was so sunny and we were sitting by a little pond my brother had built for fish. Ivan was in between hospitalizations, but it still wasn’t him sitting there. I was so naive. He couldn’t really have a conversation he was so manic and psychotic. I remember looking at his face and thinking-

Where are you Ivan? Are you in there? Where have you gone? Will you ever come back?

It makes you wonder about the essence and soul of a person if an illness can so completely take over their mind.

This story has a very good ending. Ivan recovered from this episode and never had a psychotic/manic episode until 13 years later. The picture above is him on the beach in Cannes, France.

If you love someone with this illness, it can get better. It usually does. Ivan is proof!

Julie

PS: Ivan and I are still good friends. He is now living in France working in a job he loves. He lives with bipolar disorder of course. It’s still there. Reality is reality!

Click here to read about my partner coaching.

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Published on June 18, 2013 00:03

Bipolar Happens! is #1 on the Kindle!

Bipolar Happens: 35 Tips and Tricks to Manage Bipolar Disorder is the #1 Bipolar Disorder Book on the Kindle!

That’s exciting. I went to the Kindle store to see how my books Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder and Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder were doing on the bipolar disorder page. These books are in the top ten ranking- and then I saw that Bipolar Happens! was #1.

Fantastic! Bipolar Happens! is an enjoyable book about a serious topic.

Guess what- it’s only $.99 I want it to be available to everyone.

Yes, I think this is a great deal and a good way to get helpful information about bipolar disorder at minimum cost. Bipolar Happens! was my first book. I knew I wanted to talk about how I manage the illness, but I also wanted to tell stories about how it affects my life daily.

There are stories about anger, manic spending, anxiety at a baseball game and what it feels like to be psychotic! It’s a book that family members love too. I love it myself. It’s hopeful.

Click here to go to amazon.com. You can read part of the book and then add it to your Kindle. Wow, $.99!

Julie

PS: If you’re new to my work, this is a great way to experience my writing style and the quality of my information. If you like it, you can come back for more.

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Published on June 16, 2013 00:08

Bipolar Depression and Suicide Help

I just received this comment on the blog I wrote on bipolar depression:

“ I want to die. Can you help me please. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and I don’t want to live anymore.”

It’s hard to get these emails- not because they shock me- they don’t, but because I wish I could sit across from the person and tell them why they feel the way they do and that they can get through this.

Since I can’t actually look at the person, I will write him here.

Hi. I’ve been suicidal so many times I can no longer count the episodes. Suicidal thoughts are a completely normal part of bipolar disorder. We get depressed, manic, anxious and paranoid, just to name a few- and we also get suicidal.

Wanting to die is actually something different than it seems- it’s actually wanting to end the pain that comes with bipolar disorder depression. I can remember being so suicidal that I was rolling on the floor in order not to do something I didn’t really want to do. I’m not kidding about this. The compulsion that comes with suicidal thoughts is what makes it so dangerous. When I had thoughts of running my car off a bridge, I said out loud, “I don’t want to kill myself! This is not real! This is bipolar lying to me!” and I kept driving.

Bipolar disorder can be a VERY dangerous illness. It makes you think and do things you don’t really think and don’t really want to do. That’s why it’s so important to separate yourself from the suicidal thoughts.

I see my suicidal thoughts as separate. They are not me- they are bipolar disorder. I hope you can do that- if you really examine what you’re thinking, you can see that there is a lot of crap going around in your head that doesn’t represent you. It’s not the real you. It’s the illness talking.

Once you can see the you in there and feel the you in there- you can say to yourself, this is bipolar talking and I’m going to get help immediately.

I assure you- you don’t want to kill yourself. You want to get better. I hate suicidal thoughts because they aren’t fair and they are SO tricky.

I’m 49- and I’ve been suicidal off and on since I was 19. I have survived and you can too.

Here is how to get help- first of all, say out loud- “I’m suicidal because I have bipolar disorder. These thoughts are not real. They are a sign that I’m very sick.”

Next- call your doctor immediately. Say, “This is an emergency. I have bipolar disorder and I’m thinking of killing myself.” This is an honest way to ask for help. If you fell down and broke a leg- you would scream for help. You have to do the same thing now.

If you don’t have access to your doctor- call a suicide hotline- if you go to www.moodgarden.com you will see suicide numbers on the left side of the page. There is also a link there for more help on what you’re going through.

If you’re worried for your immediate physical health, call 911. They know what to do. Be honest, “I have bipolar disorder- I’m suicidal and I need help.” Or, “I’m bipolar and I just took a bottle of pills and I need help ”

You may notice that I’m being very methodical when I talk with you. It’s because I would do the same thing if I saw you bleeding on the side of the road. I would help you and remind you that things are going to be ok. You just need professional help. I would never expect you to take care of yourself on your own.

Suicidal thoughts are completely normal when you have a mental illness. They are not the real you. The real you wants help. There is a lot of help out there. I encourage you to take care of the you that wants to live and not listen to the illness that is lying to you. I’m alive and well because I do this every time I get suicidal.

Julie

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Published on June 15, 2013 00:04

Why Do People With Bipolar Disorder Go Off Their Meds?

My latest blog tells the story of two mothers whose daughters went off their bipolar disorder meds.

They asked me why they didn’t notice this was happening.

My latest blog for BP Magazine answers their question.

Click here to read the blog. Make sure to leave a comment if you have any questions or advice!

Julie

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Published on June 13, 2013 16:00

What Makes You Happy?

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Published on June 12, 2013 00:24

Bipolar Disorder one and Bipolar Disorder two

#2 WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BIPOLAR I(ONE) AND BIPOLAR II (TWO)?

It’s often difficult to know the difference between the two main types of bipolar disorder. It can even be difficult for health care professionals to explain unless they have had special training on the topic. When you know the facts, you can see that the difference between the two is actually quite simple.

Bipolar I and Bipolar II (two)have the exact same symptoms in terms of depression and both have mania. The difference between the two diagnoses is the type of mania a person experiences. Bipolar I (one) has full blown mania while Bipolar I has hypomania.

What is the difference between full blown mania and hypomania you may wonder? The difference is intensity.

Full blown mania if untreated usually leads to a hospital stay- especially if it’s someone’s first episode. This episode usually starts around the age of 20. The mania can start off mildly with a sense of creativity and then spin out of control very quickly. When my partner Ivan had his first full blown episode it started with agitation and confusion, then moved into a complete behavioral change as he started to talk more than usual and couldn’t hold a coherent thought. The night before he went into the hospital, he wasn’t able to remember how to write a check or even have a normal conversation. He was seemingly very creative, but it was agitated and not fun and very scattered. He talked over people and moved around very rapidly. His face looked different and he talked with a different voice. He had what is called dysphoric mania- in other words he didn’t feel very well! This mania was accompanied by severe psychosis.

Euphoric mania is the opposite of dysphoric mania. When it’s full blown, it’s very dangerous as it feels so good. The person almost always refuses help when they are really euphoric. When a person has euphoric mania, they feel no pain and have no reasoning ability- and most importantly, they can’t see the consequences of their behaviors as they feel invincible. This is very, very dangerous mania as it can just seem like excessive enthusiasm, creativity and charisma from the outside.

All full blown manias lead to disasters and most people go into a deep depression if medications are not used successfully.

Hypomania

Hypomania is much less intense and doesn’t put a person into the hospital. As with full blown mania, a person can have euphoric and dysphoric hypomania. Extreme psychosis is rare with hypomania- though it’s common to have grandiose thoughts as well as negative thoughts. I get euphoric mania at the beginning of my hypomanias. Nothing feels as good as euphoric mania- absolutely nothing- but I always do something stupid and I always crash. I work very hard at preventing hypomania.

As I say in my book Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder, it’s essential that you have a distinct diagnosis of either Bipolar I or Bipolar II as the treatments for the two can be quite different! You have to know if you have full blown mania or hypomania. No matter what form you have, the mania is serious- you can make horrible and life altering decisions when you’re full blown manic or even hypomanic. Prevention is the only way to make sure this doesn’t happen.

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Published on June 11, 2013 21:51

Is Irritability a Sign of Bipolar Hypomania?

Hi, I just received this question from Sandra:

Q. Julie, is irritability a sign of hypo-mania? I’m also going from calm and patient to incredibly angry in minutes (seconds?). Any ideas? I do have an appointment to see my therapist today.

Sandra

A: Oh yes, mania can cause irritation and anger. It’s called dysphoric mania. You can also be scattered, unable to do tasks calmly and act snappy and cry in frustration. The main problem is that it affects your sleep. If you have dysphoric mania is also called mixed mania or agitated mania.

If you go from mania to depression and back, it’s called rapid cycling. I’ve lived with constant rapid cycling for years. It can be managed with a good treatment plan.

If you’re on new meds or have had a change in meds, this can cause the dysphoric mania. If you’ve recently had a stressful event in life, that can be the problem as well. Or it can just be the darn illness. Bipolar disorder mood swings don’t always have a reason – they just show up like an unwelcome guest.

So many people think that mania is always the upbeat awesome, euphoric kind. It’s not- it’s very often this upsetting, uncomfortable and very confusing dysphoric mania.

If you go to the menu on your right, you can click on the mania tab and read more about the different kinds of mania.

Julie

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Published on June 04, 2013 00:38

My Motto: Do What You Can, When You Can, If You Can

I’m often embarrassed at how little I can get done due to bipolar disorder. It’s so easy to be hard on myself for what I see as a PERSONAL PROBLEM. I have days where I can’t work at all. Not even an hour. It has been like this forever, but I’m still ridiculously upset when it happens.

The reality? Bipolar disorder is often dis-abling. I may want to answer my Facebook comments or record a short blog or even clean my room, but the task it too overwhelming. There are many days I simply can’t do what I want to do- even if it’s the most basic of tasks.

I hate it. We all hate it.

The only way out is to do what you can. For example, I have writings from the past ten years that are a wealth of information about managing this illness.

My mind whispers: If I didn’t have bipolar disorder, I would be ABLE to go through these writings and quickly put them into books and blogs and articles and……..!!!

But I do have bipolar.

Maybe you have bipolar or care about someone with bipolar.

It’s a treatable illness- but it’s often a limiting illness.

I CAN’T go through all of my past writings and put the information on Facebook and record it on a podcast and do this an that. I can do a bit at at time. That’s all.

Bummer.

Julie

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Published on May 31, 2013 00:24