Julie A. Fast's Blog, page 32

Bipolar Disorder and Voting Anxiety

Bipolar disorder anxiety and voting.

It’s time to vote here in the United States and as always, I’m amazed at how anxiety can rear up and affect our ability to do the things in life we hold dear! Voting is an amazing right and experience, but for people with anxiety, it can be a stressful time. Here are a few suggestions that I used myself to get my vote recorded. We have a mail in ballot in my state and even thought I pushed the deadline close, I got my ballot finished and sent in!

1. Recognize that anxiety around voting is absolutely normal and you are not alone if all of the little dots and squiggles you have to figure out are causing you a bit of brain alarm. That is ok! You are normal!

2. Focus on how you will feel after you vote. Remind yourself that anxiety won’t kill you- even if it feels like it will. Getting out tomorrow and making a difference can create GREAT feelings afterwards. Not voting due to anxiety might be far more stressful if the illness wins.

I want to encourage all of us to vote- even if voting feels a bit overwhelming right now. As I say in Get it Done When You’re Depressed. You don’t have to feel motivated to get things done. You don’t have to feel good. You don’t even have to feel that you can make a difference! Instead, you can focus on the doing. Get out there and vote no matter what. Fight that anxious feeling and ask for help. Get someone to go to the polls with you. Ask for help to fill out a ballot if needed.

We can do this!

Julie

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Published on November 07, 2016 09:46

We Can Learn the Signs of Bipolar Disorder Mania

We can do anything once we know what we are up against. When I was finally diagnosed with #bipolar disorder at age 31, I had an answer to the eternal question of, ‘What is wrong with Julie!?” This gave me a platform to change. I learned about the illness and came up with a management plan. It’s in my books. I use it daily. It works for anyone affected by bipolar disorder. Parents and partners are my focus and believe me, you can learn to help someone with bipolar disorder even if the person doesn’t want to accept your help right now.

You can- we can- anyone can learn the signs of this very obvious and easy to spot illness once the signs are listed. It’s not complicate to recognize bipolar disorder once you know what to look for.

Here is one of my most popular articles from BP Magazine called Letter from a Manic Person about the not much talked about dysphoric manic episode that plagues many of us with the illness.

As you will see in the comments, the most common response is, “Oh yes! I have seen this in myself or my loved one many times and I simply didn’t know it was part of the illness!”

Let’s educate ourselves about bipolar disorder and schizoaffective disorder. We can change.

Julie

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Published on November 05, 2016 07:22

Bipolar Disorder and Brain Injury Poetry

A confession. As some of you know, I had a biking accident in 2012 where I severely injured by back and hip. Rehab has been rough to say the least, but I’m doing it. What I haven’t shared much as I am still processing the information is that I also experienced a traumatic right brain injury during the crash. It’s called a TBI. I can fill a book with all of the terrible things I have experienced due to the crash, but I would rather share some of the magical experiences that were a result of my concussion….especially…..

Poetry.

I have always been a writer and I can basically rhyme anything, but poetry has never been my talent. After the injury, the poetry flowed out of me in a torrent. I had to scrabble for paper and pen to capture the events that were happening in my head. Many of the words that come up are not real words. They simply rhyme. I just leave them as they are.

I thought I was simply going through a creative renaissance as I have written so much for so many years, but this is not a regular experience and I am researching the phenomenon and learning from it.

Straight Jacket

What was it like

To be obstructed?

When your body

Deconstructed?

Your mind over bucketed?

Your being ruck sucked and destructed?

To be confined

As your mind

Lept forward

It must have been horrid

Limbs held morbid

A life truly thwarted.

I can’t see if the poetry is good or self indulgent. I can’t tell what the public will think, but I can’t stop writing.

It’s not the same thing as mania.

Mania is rarely fully formed for me. I am OVERLY creative. I don’t finish much of what I start when I’m manic. The poetry that will be in my next book Hortensia and the Magical Brain: Poems for Kids with Bipolar, Anxiety, Psychosis and Depression comes out fully formed. Of course it needs a bit of editing, but it’s complete. This is an amazing experience for a writer.

Trying to distinguish the difference between my bipolar disorder symptoms and this brain injury has been difficult. I have charted my moods for 20 years and this helps a lot. I am researching the role TBIs have on anxiety as my main symptom after the accident has been severe anxiety around work. My depression and mania have not increased at all.

I wanted to share this in the spirit of growth. As we learn more about our brains, we learn how to help ourselves and those we love. How many of us with bipolar disorder also experience concussions and confuse our symptoms?

I should also add the that I had 13 bilateral ECT treatments in 2010 that further complicate the issue.

I have never seen and will never see bipolar disorder as a gift. It has been destructive for me. This brain injury could have been the same, and yet it opened up a new world. Maybe people who see bipolar disorder as a gift do have positive experiences from the illness. My poetry experience has reminded me that we learn from our mishaps in many different ways.

Julie

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Published on November 04, 2016 08:07

Bipolar Disorder: The Corkscrew, Garbage Pail Illness

corkscrew

People withbipolar disorder have depression, mania, anxiety, psychosis, ADHD symptoms and restlessness. You are not alone if you have these symptoms- sometimes all at once! I call it a corkscrew illness and the garbage pail illness. We have ALL of the symptoms of most major psychiatric disorders when we are in an episode. We are STABLE when we are not in an episode. Julie

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Published on November 03, 2016 07:21

Can you Create Happy Holidays When You Have Bipolar Disorder? Of course you can!

Illustration of Mother and Children Carrying Thanksgiving Dinner by Douglass Crockwell

Do you have plans for the Festive Season? Do you have plans for New Year’s Eve? NOW is a great time to work out who you will see and where you will be. We are social creatures- as seen by the Santa mob below. If you have a tendency to isolate and not take care of your needs during the holidays, what can you do differently this year? If you usually get overwhelmed and burn out during the holiday seasons, what can you do to voice your absolute right to say NO to what you can’t or simply don’t want to do? My goal is for all of us to glide through the next few months with ease.

Julie

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Published on November 02, 2016 09:56

Bipolar Disorder and Work

Ah. Bipolar and work ability. It often takes me two hours to get myself situated to work for one hour. This is not fun for me. But….. It means I get work done.

Before I taught myself to manage this illness, I couldn’t work. Now I can. It’s not as much as I want and it’s never when I want, but I work.

I have a career based on 25 work hours a week. That is all I can handle.

You can learn to manage this illness to the best of your ability. It won’t be the ability you see in someone else. It will be at your pace. Accepting this is the path to getting better.

It’s not fair, but I want to stay alive, healthy, stable and happy. So I have to face my bipolar facts.

Julie

PS. I picked these flowers when I was so anxious I couldn’t breathe. When I was done I was still anxious, but I created something beautiful!

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Published on October 30, 2016 00:29

Reader Question: Is Bipolar Disorder Correlated with High Intelligence?

I often do impromptu question and answer sessions on my Julie A. Fast Facebook account. Here is one from the last session:

Julie, Is Bipolar Disorder Correlated with High Intelligence?

My answer:

I have done my own research into this topic for 20 years now. I believe that bipolar disorder is attached to a certain type of intelligence. After interacting with many thousands of people with bipolar disorder since my diagnosis in 1995, living with a partner for ten years who has bipolar one and talking with thousands of parents and partners in my coaching business I have determined the following:

1. People with bipolar disorder are NOT more creative than the general population. We are simply more creative when we are manic. As a baseline, I find that our creativity meets social norms.

2. I DO find that people with bipolar disorder are abnormally focused on learning. In my experience, our college attendance rate is at least double the national average of around 38% for ages 18-24 years old. In other words, people who go to college right out of high school. To be honest, I can’t recall ever talking to a person with bipolar disorder who had not at least tried some college. I would put our college attendance rate at 60% or higher. (Our college completion rates are abysmal due to the illness itself! This is why school success is such a big part of my coaching work.)

This is what we used to call book learning intelligence. Thus, I believe that people with bipolar disorder are more intellectual than the general population. Not smarter – we make a lot of mistakes that others don’t make, but when it comes to learning, we are in the top in my opinion.

3. We also tend to travel FAR more than others- this includes when we are depressed, though mania does skew this.

4. We tend to be very, very work oriented. I believe this is why our work problems affect us so strongly. I have never met a ‘lazy’ person with bipolar disorder. Have you? This is not only about mania. We like to work. There are many people in the world who simply work because they have to. I find that people with bipolar disorder express a big desire to work in a profession because they want to.

Please note that I am referring to plain bipolar disorder here. Not bipolar that is attached to other diagnoses.

These are my general observations and I would love to hear what others think!

Julie

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Published on October 22, 2016 00:24

The Bipolar Disorder Coping List

Beer, food, meth, stimulants, energy drinks, sex, bad relationships, smoking, tattoos, spending, raves, ecstasy, opioids, hard drugs, new shoes, new relationships, have a baby, nachos, lottery, obsessive friendship, junk food, caffeine, new lipstick, new haircut, hard liquor, party, buffet, new roommate, new city, fantasy football, …. anything to feel…. alive, better… something!

You are NOT alone if you have a similar bipolar disorder coping list.

We use the above to feel better because bipolar disorder is NOT treated successfully for the majority of us who live with it daily. When bipolar disorder is raging, it’s physically and mentally painful. We simply want to feel better.

This way of coping isn’t smart. It’s not exactly forward thinking. It’s not good for our futures. But when an illness makes you want to die, having a pint of ice cream seems like an understandable alternative.

IF, and I wish it were the case, IF the long term use of the above choices didn’t have consequences, we could use them. What’s wrong with a little coke, a hit of pot? A pill, a beer ?

As we know, it’s never just once because this illness doesn’t happen once and then go away. It’s not the flu or a case of the break up blues. It’s a genetic mental health disorder that affects every ounce of our being. For many of us, it’s chronic.

I am on a hike, a journey, a sojourn to finding alternatives to the above coping list.

This is my next Bp Magazine blog topic. I have come so far in my management and I am ready to go deeper into a world where I live the majority of my days in stable, joyful happiness without needing my bipolar coping list.

What is your journey?

Julie

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Published on October 17, 2016 14:02

It helps to find something you love to do with people you like to talk to…….

When I was depressed for so many years I tried constantly to find people to hang out with and watch sports. American football was actually very hard as there was usually a ‘discussion’ regarding what game would be on what TV and which one would have sound. The bartender always controlled the remote in a way I found stressful. Now I have found what I was looking for- I’m glad I didn’t quit. I found a soccer community to watch my favorite sport: European football. There are many reasons to love this game. I love the camaraderie and the room filled with guys in soccer jerseys. There are other reasons to like soccer as well. It’s essential that those of us with bipolar disorder find a place to go when we are down and people to talk to when we are lonely.

Julie

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Published on October 17, 2016 00:11

Bipolar Disorder Medications: Kaiser sues Pfizer over Mis-representation of Gabapentine (Neurontin)

It amazes me that Gabepentin (neurontin) is still prescribed for bipolar disorder. It’s used in jails and by health care professionals who might not know the facts. I wrote the blog below in 2012. How is it possible that four years later, the drug is still being used for people with bipolar disorder? I’d like to hear your experiences.

Here is a very interesting article regarding the drug gabapentine. Known mostly by it’s brand name Neurontin, the drug was touted as a medication for bipolar disorder. In reality, it often caused suicidal episodes – even though it took doctors a while to catch onto this. I was given Neurontin in 1998- it was my 22nd drug and by that time I had so many drugs in my body, this one only made things worse. I became immediately and dangerously suicidal. No one believed me then!

As you all know, I believe in drug therapy for bipolar disorder. I took Lamictal (lamotrigine) for many years and it improved my life. But we have to be very careful- Lamictal and Neurontin are in the same family of anti convulsants- which proves that medications are not alike just because they are under one family.

Click here to read the article about the Kaiser Lawsuit over Pfizer’s mis-representation of the drug Neurontin.

Julie

PS: Do you feel that we are often just guinea pigs at the whim of drug companies? We need the drugs and many of us love our drugs for how they help us get on with life, but I wish we were more respected as human beings instead of money generating machines.

A salad of Neurontin!