Julie A. Fast's Blog, page 31

An Open Letter to Kim Kardashian

 

Dearest Kim,

Few people in the world have even the slightest idea what it’s like to be THE KIM KARDASHIAN. Wearer of waist corsets, teeth bling and million dollar diamonds.  Your harrowing experience in Paris is also out of the realm many of us will ever experience in life. But right now, with what you are going through as Kanye gets help for his mental health symptoms, you are in a new tribe. We are the hundreds of millions of people around the world who love someone with a diagnosable mental illness.

In some cases, there are people like myself who have a mental illness who also love someone with a mental illness. In others, the partner is stable and mental health is truly an unknown.

You seem to be misunderstood in your other world. In this world, you are understood.

In 1994, I opened a kitchen cabinet and found half an onion where a glass would normally be. The refrigerator door was open and there were papers covered in writing on the kitchen table. I looked at one and it said, “A Message to Bill Gates. A new software program that will revolutionize the world. If only BILL GATES will listen!”

It was my partner Ivan’s 21st birthday that day.  The night before he forgot how to write a check. We laughed. He tried to tell me how to parallel park the car even though he is French and doesn’t drive. We laughed. He told us he had a solution to all of our relationship crises. We laughed. His eyes were as wide as saucers and he was sweating. There was a weird grimace on his face and when he looked at me and said, “Ok. Tell me the truth. You’ve been with your ex haven’t you?” I remember thinking, what in the world is he talking about? I haven’t seen my ex in over four years damn it!

I Woke Up At 2:00 AM and He Was Gone

I didn’t know anything that day over 20 years ago.  I thought he was just being weird. That night, I woke up at 2:00 AM and he was gone. Vanished. I knew then that I had to get some help. I called the police and they asked me where he might be and suggested I call a hospital.  I called the ER and when they asked, “Is there mental illness in the family?”  I said, “I’m not sure. I did hear that his father has something called manic depression.”

I was so naive. (What are the chances that two people who met in a Tokyo bar would have what we now call bipolar disorder and neither knew it when they met!)  After he disappeared, I found him and called the police to take him to the hospital. This started the odyssey that changed my life forever.  He was in the hospital in a manic and psychotic episode for three months and then went back int the hospital when his mania and psychosis turned into suicidal depression. It was hell.

I write about this experience in all of my books and right now Kim,  you are going through the same experience. No matter how famous your are- no matter what great doctors you find to tell you what is going on, no matter how much money you have, you are in a new world where the person you love is gone and you are looking at the symptoms of an illness that you have to study and understand in order to figure out why he acts as he does and why a relationship so filled with possibilities and love has been rough for so long.

One year after Ivan was eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder one, I left him to go to China to ‘experience the world! and was eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder two with psychotic features. If diagnosed today, I would get a schizoaffective diagnosis.

Kanye has shown the signs of bipolar disorder for many years. I should know as I have the same symptoms and he is acting exactly as Ivan did when I had to call the police. I don’t care about labels. I don’t care about being right or wrong, but I do know that when it comes to a mental illness like bipolar disorder, the symptoms are so obvious it eventually becomes impossible to ignore them. Don’t get me wrong. Kanye can ignore them. The people around him can ignore the symptoms and call them ‘exhaustion,’ and ‘sleep deprivation psychosis,’ but you Kim, you are the partner. And partners, unlike any other person close to someone see it all.

Bipolar disorder is a mental health disorder that has depression and mania. It’s very simple to diagnose.  Mania manifests in high energy. It can be a positive feeling which is called euphoric mania or it can be the super nasty negative energy called dysphoric mania. I suggest reading Bp Magazine and the excellent Bp Magazine blog. It explains bipolar disorder in detail and it has many stories from people in the industry. The latest being Richard Dreyfuss and Lady Dynamite herself Maria Bamford.

While the World Focuses on Kanye, You Can Focus on Educating Yourself 

Kim. Everyone is going to focus on Kanye.  I’m writing you to offer something different.  I suggest that right now, this is about your education. You are a pioneer.  You try new things and learn from your own experiences. This will suit you well as you figure out what is really going on in Kanye’s mind and get the help not only that he needs, but the help that you as a family need. I remember the young girl who sold clothes from her own closet. That person has all of the strength needed to get though this.

Kim, when Kanye gets all creative and his gorgeous brown eyes glow and he loves your body and wants to touch you all of the time and tell you about his new shoe line and how his models will look on the runway and how he is going to do this in concert and how he is going to do a book about your relationship and then how he is going to dress your kids and take you to this event and that awards show and how he is going to………..

Do you get tired?

Most partners do.

When he can’t get out of bed and tells you he is worried about life and how he won’t be able to finish what he started, how everyone is out to get him, the media hates him and how his friends are turning on him….

Do you get scared?

Most partners do.

Bipolar disorder is an episodic illness. This means that those of us with the mood swings will have periods of time where we are just fine. This makes the other episodes seem like anomalies. I have noticed this with Kanye. I notice it in myself. We can explain away our manias because we are simply smarter and more creative than everyone else. Well, when creativity and intelligence leave and are replaced by sadness, crying, self doubt, hopelessness and irritation, we can then examine the contrast that can live in one person. Those are mood swings and have little to do with personality.

The majority of us with bipolar disorder who are artists, writers, singers, actors, activists, politicians and basically anyone in the spot light get praised for our manias. We learn to feed off them. “You wrote an outline for your book and got a book deal in a weekend, Julie. That is amazing!”

In reality, it’s amazing until it’s not and you haven’t written a book in many years due to symptoms, you have lost your marriage and people simply think you can’t get your act together. This is where I was for years.  This is where you are now with Kanye.

The hardest thing for many of us with bipolar disorder is seeing mania for what it is. It’s simply the other side of the bipolar disorder coin. Depression is on one side and of course we HATE it, but we have to learn to HATE the mania just as much. Mania is often far more destructive than the depression we all hate so much.

You Can Recognize the Signs of Mania 

The majority of people with bipolar disorder who have massive manic episodes where they don’t sleep and are not tired, talk with what I call machine gun mouth, make incredibly rash financial decisions, want a lot of sex, can’t let others talk, are overly creative and absolutely wild with energy, get pissed off easily, will fight and take on anyone they feel has been insulting……. also get psychotic.

I love it that you and the people around you are openly talking about Kanye’s psychosis. You are using the word paranoia, which is a psychotic delusion. Bravo. When Britany Spears went through the same mania and psychosis, remember the Vegas marriage, shaving her head, the police coming to her house when she locked herself in the bathroom? the media coverage was appalling. Words such as ‘crazy,’ ‘insane,’ and ‘damaged,’ were regularly used.  I have always felt that by not talking to us about what obviously happened- believe me, your parents do not take over your estate for physical illness, Britney missed a chance to change the world for the better.

Kanye’s ‘rants’ that were caught on tape during Saturday Night Live and his last ‘rant’ in the concert before his hospitalization were not rants. They were manic psychotic talk.  We all sound the same when we are manic and psychotic. I’ve read Kanye’s song lyrics for many years. That is creativity. I read what Kanye says when manic and psychotic and I see illness.

There Are No Tortured Artists

I don’t buy into this. Kanye is only tortured when he is in a mood swing. He seems like a level headed, interesting and deep thinking man when he is stable.  When an artist of Kanye’s talent gets manic and psychotic in today’s world and we talk about it openly and without fear, it’s a chance for a change so huge that we will never have to go back to the dark ages of mental health ignorance.

Kim, you have now lived with someone who has all of the signs of bipolar disorder and possibly my diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder and you are scared.

I know this. I’ve helped partners for 20 years who are going through this. I was so scared when Ivan was sick and in the hospital I had breast pains for months and couldn’t work. I would get in my car for the drive to the hospital and prepare myself for not knowing what I would see. I remember taking the elevator to THE FLOOR.  There was a phone I had to use to get into the locked ward.  Nothing was marked. I saw heart unit floors and burn units and cancer units, but Ivan’s unit was blank. The shame of that upset me so much!  Why doesn’t it say mental health! Why do we hide our mental illnesses when we so openly talk about AIDS and ALS and MS and other illnesses!

I lovingly encourage you to say, “My partner has a mental illness and we are going to love him and help him the way we would if he had type one diabetes.” People will listen.

Kanye Has His Own Path

I know what he is experiencing and it’s going to be hard. If he wants to keep his marriage, be a loving father to his children, create and perform, travel and move forward in life, it will have to be with his mental health in mind at all times.

I am disabled greatly due to my bipolar disorder. I don’t lie about this. I almost didn’t write this piece due to the inevitable panic attack I go through when I step out into the world.  We need people like you to help us survive. Stable partners. Stable mothers and fathers. Stable mothers in law and sisters in law to help us. You have created a dynasty of caregiving people. It is as though you were preparing yourself for this year Kim.

For me, learning that I had bipolar disorder at age 31 saved my life. I never thought I would make it to 50. I was wild, out of control and unable to get a handle on why I couldn’t slow down. I’m over 50 and plan to stay alive.

I still see and feel myself dialing that number on the psychiatric ward to go see Ivan. I would be let in and there he was. My beloved, sweet man. In a hospital robe, strapped down to his bed because he was violent, refusing his medications and telling everyone that he had an affair a few months before and then saying to me, “It was only one time Julie! It was only one time.” Every day for months I heard this. I would look into his eyes and say, “Ivan? Where are you? Why are you doing this to me? Don’t you love me? Where have you gone?” I blamed him for doing something to me to harm our love. I had no understanding of what he was going through.

No one helped me. No one explained that bipolar disorder is episodic. No one told me the basics of what I needed to expect when he got home. (Kim, what goes up must come down. It’s time to create a plan for the depression Kanye is probably going to experience soon. And another piece of advice, anti depressants make us manic Kim!) It would have been so simple if people had talked to me. It is so simple. If I had heard, “Julie, Ivan has a genetic illness passed from his father. He is manic and psychotic which is why he acts as he does. The psycho babble, the odd hand gestures, the wild eyes, telling you he wants a divorce, asking you if you had been shot, telling you how to hold you fingers in a certain way as they represented a message from the Freemasons is simply how all people who are manic and psychotic talk. He is in there and he will be back.It’s going to be ok Julie.”

No one did this.

I am doing this for you now.

It’s Going to Be Ok Kim

Kanye will be back. He is going to be very, very tired. I always say that even one day of full blown mania and psychosis is like running a marathon. The adrenaline we produce is off the charts. He is going to be embarrassed. He is going to be out of his mind with worry that right when you needed him most, after what happened in Paris, he is the one who got sick. There are videos on Youtube by Dr. Jay Carter called Bipolar Light that can explain the brain chemistry changes Kanye is going through right now. They can help the whole family.

Eventually, Kanye is going to ask what happened. He won’t remember everything. We rarely do. Here is what you can say to him Kim to help him get through this.

Kanye, right now all that matters is your stability. The future will wait. I am here and you are here and we are all safe. You have an illness called…. (Your words here Kim). Millions of people around the world have this illness. You are normal Kanye. You are my beloved husband and father and it’s ok for husbands and fathers to get sick. I have people around me to help me with what happened in Paris. You are not responsible for me. I am going to be fine. You need rest and support. And now, it’s time for us to educate ourselves on what is creating the behavior that is no longer just creative and fun. It’s time for us to find the real you and the you that has mental health symptoms. We are detectives. I am here for you. We can do this together. 

Kim, the chances that Kanye won’t be able to join you on this detective journey at first are high. Lack of insight is one of our main symptoms. Don’t let this stop you. Read books on bipolar disorder and educate yourself. If the symptoms fit, that is your discovery. There are books to help you get through this as a partner. I know as I wrote the first one.  You can help him no matter how much he joins you at first. Educate the whole family. Educate yourself. Educate the children.

Partners Can Change the World

You have worked so hard to get where you are today. I doubt you ever thought that maybe, just maybe you could use this hard work to open our eyes to the reality that 25%  of the world’s population is affected by a diagnosable mental health disorder. We are not freaks. We are not crazy. We love and are loved.

Join us Kim. I encourage you to be honest with what you are going through with Kanye. Use the big words like bipolar disorder, psychosis, anxiety, PTSD and OCD.  Use your incredible style and flair and make what you are going through another work of art.

We embrace you in this time of need.

Julie

Julie A. Fast is the author of Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder: Understanding and Helping Your Partner and Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder. She was Claire Dane’s original consultant for Homeland and writes for Bp Magazine at www.bphope.com. You can read more about her work at www.JulieFast.com

Related posts:
BP Magazine Blog: Letter from a Dysphoric Manic Person
Letter to a friend about bipolar
Julie A. Fast on Miley Cyrus, Amanda Bynes and the Open Letters from Sinead O’Connor

A Scary Project Gets Done

What if you just did IT anyway, no matter how sacred you feel?

Oh, I love this autocorrect! I meant to type, no matter how SCARED you feel, but sacred is better. Fear is often our way of protecting ourselves. How about if you just did IT anyway, no matter how SCARRED you feel?

That is a good question as well.

I got a yes on a big, scary project today. I spent the morning doing everything possible not to more forward with the project.

I examined myself.

What scares me? Why do I want something and then when it arrives, I’m scared to do it fully? What is the meaning of self sabotage? Why try if I’m not going to follow through?

This isn’t only bipolar disorder. This is personal. This is walking into the world that I say I want instead of just talking about the world I say I want.

I said to myself, “Julie, this is a pattern you said you wanted to END. You want success in what you do. You want to share your ideas with the world. You say you want this for yourself and for the people you can help. Now, you are getting a hair cut, taking the car into get it washed and driving around Portland instead of sitting down and fulfilling a dream. Make the change today Julie. No more talk.”

I then thought of what I needed to do and used the ideas in Get it Done When You’re Depressed. I have to use these ideas as my brain isn’t always reliable! I chose Put Yourself in a Place You Can Work and got to it.

I will share the project once it is done. I was scared. I had thoughts that said it was no good and would not get published. But I kept writing.

We can do this.

We are a team.

What would life be like if you just sat down and did what makes you scared?

Julie

Related posts:
The Fine Line Between Creativity and Illness
I’m back!
Bipolar Disorder and Work: I always, always feel better if I get something done

Julie A. Fast Interview about Kanye West and Bipolar Disorder Symptoms

I was recently interviewed about #Kanye West and bipolar disorder. A link to the article from Good Magazine is below. It is very well done. I always find it interesting to see how my words are used in print. I offered a lot of back up information on why I feel Kanye has bipolar disorder. This is not in the article as much as I would like due to the length, but I do feel he has the classic signs of bipolar disorder and possible schizo affective disorder and hopefully he will get the help he needs this time. I have been where Kim is right now, and it’s scary. She is hurting and he is hurting and my compassion is with them.


 


Kristin Marguerite Doidge did an excellent job, especially considering the complication that fame always puts on mental health symptoms!


 


I have no interest in being an arm chair diagnostician. I do believe in carefully watching a person’s behavior, what they say and what those around them say as well. Kanye has shown signs of episodic depression, hypomania, full blown mania with psychosis and anxiety for many years. It’s simply an illness.


Click here to read the article Kanye West Let Out a Cry for Help, We Just Weren’t Listening. 

 


Julie

Related posts:
Reading the News and Looking for Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder Mania
DBSA.. Julie Fast Podcast interview: Families and Bipolar Disorder
HealthyPlace.com Web interview with Julie A. Fast on How to Get Things Done When You’re Depressed

Bipolar Disorder Psychosis: Sneaky, Sneaky Hallucinations!

Here is an excerpt from a blog I wrote for Bp Magazine on the topic of bipolar disorder and psychosis. Enjoy! A link to the full article is at the end of the blog.

***

Hello! Please know that this blog talks about a very vivid topic- psychotic hallucinations. I describe what I experience in detail and don’t want anyone to be upset by reading my blog.  I would like to encourage you to keep reading as the hallucinations I describe didn’t harm me at all and the story has a good ending. I talk about these experiences openly in order to help others who might be struggling with undiagnosed bipolar psychosis.

Sneaky, sneaky hallucinations………!  I had my first depression hallucination at age 19. It was so vivid it felt real. My gorgeous Canadian boyfriend broke up with me and I had to move back in with my parents as I had nowhere to live. I flunked out of school the year before (I now know it was because of bipolar disorder, but was truly confused at the time. My parents had NO idea what was going on!)  I was despondent over the breakup to the point that I had trouble functioning…..

Click here to visit the Bp Magazine webpage and read the rest of the blog. 

It’s normal to have psychosis if you have bipolar disorder. Do you see signs of psychosis in yourself or someone you care about?

Julie 

Related posts:
Bipolar Disorder II and Psychosis
Three Bipolar Disorder Symptoms No One Wants to Talk About: My Most Viewed Blog Post Ever is from BP Magazine
Reader Question: What is the difference between schizophrenia and bipolar disorder?

I Believe in You

I believe in me too.

We can do it.

We can survive.

We can get better

We can reach our dreams.

I’m going to do this.

We can do it together.

Yes!

No related posts.

Free Call with Julie: Avoid The Bipolar Conversation.. for Parents, Partners and Health Care Professionals

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Avoid The Bipolar Conversation:

3 Strategies for Successful Communication When Your Loved One or Client is in a Mood Swing

A Free Phone-In Event with bestselling author and coach Julie A. Fast.

Sunday, November 20, 2016

2:00 PM PST

5:00 PM EST/10:00 PM London, England GMT

What if you could learn to recognize a loved one’s or client’s mood swings from the beginning and create a communication plan that works even when a person is ill? It is possible when you use the strategies from Julie’s books Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder and Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder.

In this complimentary call, Julie will show you how to not only recognize a mood swing before it goes too far, but how to STOP the looping, pointless conversations where bipolar disorder is always in control.

Avoiding the Bipolar Conversation is a method you can learn quickly and use forever.

During this FREE phone call, you will:

–  Learn Julie’s strategy to spot the symptoms of a mood swing before it goes too far. 

– Learn to recognize the signs of the dreaded Bipolar Conversation and make an immediate change in your interactions when a person is ill. 

– Receive the exact words to use when a person is in a mood swing in order to have a effective conversation instead of an argument. 

 – Discover how to avoid the frustrating loops and damaging conversations we all have when bipolar disorder takes over a person’s life. 

If you’re a fan of Julie’s books, this is your chance to hear her explain how she creates her strategies and uses them in her own life.

One hour can change your life and your relationships. There is hope.

Please note that Julie will not use your sign up information for anything other than this call. If you are a current client of Julie, this is a great refresher call. If you love Julie’s books, this is a great chance to learn her techniques from the source.

 

(It can take a few minutes for your registration emails to arrive in your inbox. You will receive an order email and an email with call in directions. Please write {comments at gmail dot com} if you do not receive the call-in directions.)

A note from Julie:  Join me LIVE and learn exactly what to say and do when a person with bipolar disorder is depressed, manic, anxious or psychotic. It can be so confusing as a parent, partner or health care professional when a person with bipolar disorder is talking and you have to ask yourself, “Wait a minute. He seems happy, but he sounds manic. Do I say something?” Or. “I can tell she’s paranoid right now and I have no idea what to say. Should I just agree with her? Should I call the doctor?” And most importantly, how to talk to someone who is suicidal, the most difficult conversation of all. You can learn what to say. Participants in this FREE call can send in questions for Julie to answer. Details for sending questions are in the registration email you will receive after signing up. 

This complimentary event airs Sunday, November 20th at 2:30 PM PDT. See you there!

Related posts:
Please pass on this blog to your health care professionals!
Reader Story: Bipolar Disorder and Wives, Husbands and Partners
Julie A. Fast Family and Partner Coaching: A Conversation with a Worried Mother and a Defiant Daughter pt 1

Guest Blogger: Dr. Fred Von Gunten on Bipolar Disorder and the Power of Positivity

Dr. Fred Von Guten Shares His Personal Story of Dealing with and Overcoming Bipolar Disorder

The following is a guest post by Dr. Fred Von Gunten, a retired Optometrist specializing in developmental and behavioral vision for more than 33 years, and the author of  The Power of Positivity for Bipolar and Anyone Else , a book in which he explores the challenges of living with bipolar disorder and his ultimate achievement of episode-free stability.  Dr. Von Gunten can be reached at fvongunten2@gmail.com and invites readers to follow him on Facebook at Promoting the Power of Positivity.

I wrote this article to help others understand what bipolar is like and that living episode-free is possible using my own experiences with both.  At 70, I have gained the knowledge and experience from which others may benefit when it comes to dealing with Bipolar Disorder. I lived with over 50 years of Bipolar I, and for the first 25 years, I dealt with five episodes. Since then, I have transformed my life by changing my thoughts (cognitive-behavioral) and committing to a consistent supply of Lithium (physical-psychiatric-mood stabilizer).

I was one of the first to receive Lithium when the FDA approved it in 1971.

I have maintained 30 years of “episode-free emotional stability.” Some would classify this as being a “Functional Bipolar,” but I like to view it as “Functionally Cured.”

Self Medicating My Bipolar With Alcohol

The term “self-medication, is defined as “the process by which some individuals may abuse substances in attempting to use them to relieve other problems such as anxiety, pain, sleeplessness or other symptoms of bipolar disorder.” Obviously this is a very serious and widespread issue, but why? What makes those with bipolar disorder turn to alcohol?

Research and theories about this abound, but for the most part it is generally believed that a biological or physiological cause may be the root. There is an “underlying vulnerability of the individual that precipitates both mental illness and substance abuse.”

When I entered my beginning manic episodes, I felt like overnight, I was in high gear—getting by on three hours of sleep. There were nights I would go to the bar for a couple of drinks before heading home from my office hours. Looking back, I now acknowledge I was self-medicating. “When Fred was manic, he became a person I didn’t know and who was hard to live with,” says my wife, Linda. “It was lonely, it was difficult, and there were long hours not knowing where he was.”

Co-occurring Disorders | Dual Diagnosis – Bipolar and Substance Misuse

I then needed to consider the comorbidity of bipolar disorder and substance use illness, including its prevalence in my daily life. There was an impact on the course and presentation with this bipolar disorder, and the associated diagnostic and treatment difficulties I experienced; along with the pharmacologic approaches to my treatment. I discovered that dealing with bipolar disorder is very likely to co-occur with alcohol or drug abuse, and that bipolar patients who also abuse drugs or alcohol have an earlier onset and worse course of illness compared with those who do not. I need to also warn that those of us with bipolar who also abuse substances are more likely to experience irritable and dysphoric mood states, increased treatment resistance, and a greater need for hospitalization.

It was fourteen years ago that I started a new phase of my life (since January 1999). It included retirement, contentment and enhancement of stability with bipolar disorder. And I have to thank my wife, Linda, who for 48 years and counting has supported me during my episodes – I owe her my life.

In terms of retirement, I wonder whether the retired mind frees us from the constant biochemical changes that cause bipolar disorder? Perhaps it is the changes in environment that relaxes the mind in retirement. I don’t know for certain, but in my opinion, therein lays a possible answer to enhancing stability. To answer the questions why I feel it is so important to maintain a positive attitude with bipolar disorder, I felt that I needed to “change” so many areas in my life. The negative symptoms with bipolar required a positive change in dealing with everyday demands.

And it was the practice of using the power of positive thinking to overcome the many challenges of living with Bipolar Disorder that prompted me to write my book. I share these in my book as well as what it took for me to ultimately achieved episode-free stability. I hope it can help others achieve long-term stability, to encourage “positive thinking”… to inspire…to motivate…to give hope…to answer questions or concerns regarding bipolar disorder.

Fred

Dr. Von Gunten can be reached at fvongunten2@gmail.com and invites readers to follow him on Facebook at Promoting the Power of Positivity.

 

 

A Note from Julie: I also call this post Growing Older with Bipolar Disorder- Fred and I are past our early years with this illness and as we age, we learn more ways to successfully manage our symptoms. We do get better with age.

Related posts:
Guest Blogger: Karen Tyrrell Tells Her Bipolar Disorder Story
Guest Blogger: Dawn and Schizoaffective Disorder
Guest Blogger Gabe Howard on the Diffficult Topic of Violence in Bipolar Disorder

Post Election Emotions: Treat Bipolar Disorder First

 

Take care of yourself today. Take care of your mental health. No matter what happened in the election, there is one thing that does not need to happen today. You do not have to get sick.

If you have a mental health disorder,  sleep is paramount. Make sure you sleep tonight no matter what. If you have a tendency towards psychosis as I do, watch for signs of paranoia and do something about the signs now.  If you’re depressed, anxious and worried about our future, focus on yourself and staying stable.

Change is a part of life. Sometimes we like the change and sometimes we don’t. Half of our country is deliriously happy and the other half is completely devastated. 

I’m not going to read too much about any of it. I know what obsessive reading and checking does to my brain. I know that I did my part and now I have to be respectful of what has happened. I believe in democracy and this is a big wake up call for many of us who assumed our path was the one that would be chosen.

I accept what has happened and will now do what I can to stay stable.

Treat bipolar first.

If you’re obsessively checking the internet, you can turn it off.

If you’re itching for a fight- looking for answers or raging with a feeling of injustice, talk with your therapist.  Wanting to do something doesn’t mean you can. Bipolar often decides for you. It does for me.

If you’re elated at what happened, please respect the deep fear that others feel and talk with them about it.

Our mental health community is a team. We can’t be divided.

Do everything it takes to stay stable. This is not a political issue for me. My mental health goes way beyond politics.

I can focus on outward change in the world only if I’m stable.

Julie

I originally posted this on my Julie A. Fast Facebook page. Please join me there for more regular updates. I also love to hear from readers in the comments section.

PS: When I have a tough day, I remind myself to do the things that make me happy. This morning I worked on my hair art. I feel better when I take care of my physical appearance. This is always a challenge when my mood is low and my anxiety is high. You can also see my noise cancelling earphones!

 

Related posts:
Bipolar Disorder and Rapid Cycling after something great happens!!!!!
You Don’t Have to Watch the News. You Don’t Even Have to Follow the Election!
Wisdom for people with bipolar disorder: Obama and Flacco (quarterback!)

The Bipolar Disorder “Not So Great” Coping List: BP Magazine Blog

Beer, food, meth, stimulants, energy drinks, video games, unprotected sex, bad relationships, obsessive internet checking, smoking, tattoos, spending, raves, ecstasy, pills, hard drugs, new shoes, new relationships, have a baby, nachos, lottery, obsessive friendships, junk food, caffeine, new lipstick, pot, new haircut, hard liquor, party, buffet, new roommate, new city, fantasy football, … anything to feel … alive, better … something!

You are NOT alone if you have a similar NOT-SO-GREAT bipolar disorder coping list.

My list used to be very long. I drank a lot in order to calm down.  I got caught up in manic internet dating and now have an STD to live with for life. (I am always honest about this as STDs are a consequence of mania for many of us.)  Constant moving and walking into contentious relationships were also big items on my coping list.

I have fixed these behaviors over the years.  I have changed.

I have a much shorter list now:  Social media checking, sugar—especially ice cream and pop, obsessive binge watching of Scandinavian mysteries on Netflix and expensive restaurants!   These are still problems, but I’m working on changing even more.

I am so much better than when I was first diagnosed and used a huge coping list to get me through the ups and downs that I simply couldn’t explain until I found out I had bipolar disorder.

What does your not so great coping list look like?

Click here to read the rest of the article in a separate window. I love BP Magazine. The owner Joanne Doan and all of the support staff have been incredibly helpful in my life and career. Please consider supporting the magazine through a subscription if you enjoy the content!

Related posts:
The Bipolar Disorder Coping List
My BP Magazine blog: I am not a SCROOGE!
My Bp Magazine Blog Post: Does My Teenager Have Bipolar Disorder?

Reader Question: Children and Mental Health Diagnoses

Just answered this great question from reader and advocate Judy Fryer on my live chat with  Martin Baker and Fran Houston for the launch of their new book High Tide, Low Tide: The Caring Friend’s Guide to Bipolar Disorder. (I often do live question and answer sessions on my Julie A. Fast Facebook account.) 

Julie, In the UK, the drs are very reluctant to diagnose children with a mental illness. It is very difficult to discern if a child is displaying signs of mental illness or being ‘naughty’. The danger is, we put their ‘ bad’ behaviour down to puberty and we miss the signs. Any pointers as what to look out for?”

Hello Judy!

The first step is to examine the family history and see if the child has symptoms that were seen in other family members. For example, bipolar disorder is a genetic illness. If you have a young child who is depressed at age 10, ask around and see if this happened to a relative. It may be the first time this topic has even been addressed, but it’s essential it comes out sooner than later. Here is a scrip you can use. “Our sweet boy Marcus is having some down thoughts about himself and why he can’t make friends. We have noticed that he is spending more time alone in his room and that he cries when we try to ask him a question. It’s so important that we get him help now. We are asking family members if they or anyone they know of in the family has had a similar experience. If this is the case, we can let doctors know there is a genetic predisposition to depression in the family and we can get Marcus the help he needs.” This can be done by email. All it takes it ONE PERSON being honest for a whole family history to come out!

Related posts:
Guest Blogger Tara Rolstad: Parenting Children with Mental Health Disorders. It Gets Better!
Children and Bipolar Disorder Question
Reader Question: Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder