Julie A. Fast's Blog, page 3

Julie A. Fast will be live on Instagram tonight..

I am answering questions about bipolar disorder, borderline, anxiety, psychosis, the pandemic and more on Instagram live tonight. Please join me!

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6:00 PM PST

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Julie

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Published on September 24, 2020 09:35

Euphoric Mania and Narcissism

A reader recently asked me about one of my Instagram posts called How Do I Know If I’m Euphoric Manic?

The image above is from the post. She writes:

Julie, You recently wrote somewhere that when you’re in a mania you are narcissistic, but you seem empathetic can you explain?

Bev

Hello Bev!

Mania is the most narcissistic of all mood swings. Our frontal lobes are turned off and all we care about is our own pleasure. This creates the narcissistic behavior. But at the same time, euphoric manic is very upbeat, expansive and social. We give the appearance that we’re thinking of other people. In reality, we just want people to join us on our adventures.

– We don’t listen.

– We don’t do what others ask us to do.

– We focus on what our brain tells us to do and rarely think of the needs of others.

– We want to show people what we have accomplished.

But we will hug, kiss, appear interested, be very dramatic, sound supportive and be positive around others. It’s still all about us.

This is a typical bipolar disorder symptom. We know it’s bipolar as it is episodic and is in direct contrast of how a person would normally behavior. This narcissism ends when the mania ends. If a person you care about is always narcissistic, it’s not bipolar disorder.

I had to teach myself to say no to the good feelings I associate with euphoric mania. I am SO selfish and I harm others with my lack of empathy. I truly believe that ending the hold mania had on my life has changed my life for the better.

Thanks for your question!

Julie

Resources

Click here to read the original Instagram post.

Watch a video on bipolar mania and the frontal lobes from the wonderful Dr. Jay Carter.

Letter from a Euphoric Manic Person from Bp Magazine for Bipolar Disorder.

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Published on September 16, 2020 14:07

How I Manage Suicidal Thoughts

I would like to share the plan I use to manage and live with psychotic, suicidal thoughts.

My first suicidal thoughts were at age 19 after a breakup. I didn’t know I had bipolar and a psychotic disorder.

The thoughts were so shocking and so different than anything I had ever experienced, I simply assumed that everyone had them and I just didn’t know how to manage it very well.

That shows you how not talking about suicidal thoughts in the general public keeps so many of us in the dark when it comes to the workings of our brains.

I remember all of my suicidal episodes. It is such a profound experience that a person can’t understand it unless they’ve been through it.

I manage these thoughts through the plan I use in my books:

1️⃣I know exactly what my suicidal thoughts say to me. They really don’t change.

2️⃣ As soon as they show up, I have a plan ready that includes talking back to the suicidal thoughts, checking my meds and asking for help if needed.

3️⃣ When I say we can learn to live with suicidal thoughts, this doesn’t mean that I don’t try every day to prevent them. But when they show up, especially accompanied by psychosis, I am ready for them.

What if we approach suicidal thoughts in the same way we approach a diabetic crisis?

I have a friend with insulin dependent diabetes and watched her go through an insulin crisis while she was sitting in front of me.

Her lips went gray. She started to pass out. But during this whole thing she was telling me what she needed. Her husband was in the other room. I called for him and he did exactly what they do every time this happens. They had a plan.

It’s no different when someone with bipolar disorder or depression has suicidal thoughts.

Our brain chemistry isn’t working. These thoughts are normal when we’re sick and if we have a managementment plan in place we can tolerate and manage the thoughts. Tolerating means feeling the pain and knowing it is illness.

I know the pain and fear of suicidal episodes. I manage them in the same way I manage all bipolar symptoms.

We can do this.

Julie

Further reading: Three Strategies to Talk with Kids About Suicidal Thoughts from Psychology Today.

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Published on September 11, 2020 09:40

Bipolar Disorder and Manic Hypersexuality

I used to think bipolar hypersexuality was normal. I used to think it was fun.

My first sexual feelings were during a mania. I was in my teens! I didn’t know any better. It was just so easy to meet guys! I was fearless. Who wouldn’t want to be fearless sexually!?

Now I know better.

– Cheating on a man who loved me

– Herpes

– Pregnancy scares

– Dangerous situations involving the police

– Incredibly inappropriate PREDATORY sexual behavior

– Waking up in a different CITY with a man I didn’t know

– Unbelievable drinking binges

Extreme confusion once it ended and the depression started!!

Incredible shame and a desperate search for help from therapists.

No one helped me. It was the 80s and 90s!

I was manic off and on from age 17 until 31 when I was finally diagnosed. At the time, I was married to an incredible man who was diagnosed with bipolar one the year before. (This is why I wrote Loving!)

No one taught me anything about mania management. Not one thing. So I created the plan that’s in my books.

It took me years of using this plan to finally end the hold bipolar hyper sexuality had on my life.

Today? I crave it sometimes, but I never allow it. When it shows up, I use my system. I am celibate and have been since the end of my last relationship.

Anything goes with bipolar hypersexuality.

You will sleep with anyone.

We have to prevent the mania to end the hold hypersexuality has on our lives.

Your thoughts?

Julie

Further Reading: Bipolar, Hypersexual and Celibate from Psychology Today. Bipolar, Hypersexual and Celibate from Psychology Today.

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Published on September 09, 2020 21:57

Just Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder?

I have an Instagram account where I focus on bipolar basics. You can find me @JulieFast.

Here is a recent post:

***

Just diagnosed with bipolar? I remember every moment of my diagnosis.

What has it been like for you?

Read over my strategies and let me know if they address what you’re going through.

The bipolar diagnosis saved my life. There is NO way I would still be here if I didn’t finally get diagnosed, but that doesn’t mean it has been easy!!

Life is messy. You can be thankful for the diagnosis, hate it and want to forget it… all while getting help. Let yourself be complex!

Julie

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Published on September 06, 2020 18:06

Bipolar Obsessions and Compulsions

Is he going to call back?

Is she ignoring me?

What time are we meeting? Why isn’t anyone telling me! Are they avoiding me?

I need more information. Why doesn’t someone tell me what is happening?

This thinking can be so physically painful, the body compensates with physical action.

– Compulsively checking social media or your phone.

– Calling and leaving more than one message.

– Continually texting… and really upsetting stable people.

Uncertainty is painful for the bipolar brain. We want answers NOW! in order to feel better. If we can’t get the answers, our bodies choose repetitive behaviors as a calming tool.

This doesn’t work!

If obsessive behaviors are a part of your life, there is help.

I love the work of Don Miguel Ruiz and his book The Four Agreements. It changed my life.

Dialectal behavioral therapy (DBT) is an excellent tool for managing obsessions that lead to compulsive behaviors.

Compulsions harm. They hurt us and the people around us hate them. We overwhelm others with our worries

We can learn to manage uncertainty internally

Julie

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Published on September 02, 2020 10:11

Three Signs of Bipolar Disorder

We spend too much time talking about depression in bipolar disorder and not enough time talking about mania.

Bipolar disorder is a mania illness. Yes, we have depression and it can be awful, but it’s mania that gives us the most problems. It’s the hardest mood swing to treat and the hardest to prevent.

if you’re wondering about yourself or someone you care about regarding bipolar disorder, look for signs of mania, not depression.

Mania is all about energy. The energy can feel good (euphoric) or bad (dysphoric), but it always will be an increase in energy that’s not necessarily related to what’s going on in life.

I have thousands of blog posts, interviews, videos and articles online about mania. You can simply type in your question along with my name and something will pop up.

Why is this so important? Because bipolar depression is completely linked to mania. When we manage mania, we manage depression. Not the other way around.

Julie

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Published on August 30, 2020 12:50

Symptoms of Bipolar Dysphoric Mania

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Dysphoric mania is why so many men with bipolar are in jail.

The mood swing is episodic and will be in direct contrast to how a person normally behaves.

When combined with psychosis, this is our most dangerous mood swing due to aggression, road rage, lack of control, suspicion and inhuman strength. We love fighting when this mood swing is raging.

We crave violence.

Cannabis marijuana is currently the #1 trigger of dysphoric mania in our community. I don’t use weed at all for this reason. If you use weed, check for an increase in mania. Once the mania starts, stopping weed isn’t enough. If you want the relief of CBD, use hemp.

Dysphoric mania WILL wreck your life if it goes unchecked.

Let’s create a world where dysphoric mania is talked about as much as euphoric mania. Help me get the word out!

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Published on August 29, 2020 12:51

Bipolar Disorder is a Genetic, Medical Illness

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Our community talks a lot about stigma. You’ll notice that I don’t use that word very often. I believe we can use the word so much that it no longer has meaning.

Bipolar disorder is misunderstood. The main miss conception is that it has something to do with a person’s personality or upbringing.

It simply doesn’t. I often call bipolar disorder ‘diabetes of the brain.’ Just as a person with diabetes has trouble regulating insulin, a person with bipolar disorder has neurotransmitters that simply don’t fire in the same way they fire in a stable brain.

We have an illness affected by serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine. We know this for sure as the medications used to manage Bipolar Disorder directly target these neurotransmitters. Are there other elements involved? Of course there are. But for now, this is what we know.

The medical treatment of bipolar disorder means sleep regulation, trigger management and the judicial use of medications. It’s no different than how someone manages diabetes. In diabetes of course, the diet is more of a component. In bipolar, sleep is more of a component.

We end stigma by teaching those around us that bipolar disorder is simply a medical illness. It’s not a personal problem. We haven’t done anything wrong. We were simply born with this brain.

If you’re new to my work, start with Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder. This is the book I recommend for parents, caregivers and healthcare professionals as well.

Parents and health care professionals can join me on The Stable Table on Facebook.

If you’re a partner, definitely start with Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder. You can also join me on The Stable Bed on Facebook.

Julie

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Published on August 29, 2020 10:05

Bipolar Depression is a Succubus

I never thought I would live past age 50. I’ve had relentless, suicidal, psychotic depression since age 19. It plagued me. No matter how hard I tried to get rid of it, the depression just kept on dogging me.

Many loving relationships. Two marriages. Four colleges. Japan. Hawaii. Hong Kong. France. England and eventually China.

That damn depression would not let me be. Meds, for a myriad of reasons didn’t work for me. One day I realized that I would have to LIVE with this depression in order to survive this depression.

I created a plan in 1998 and have used it every day since to keep myself alive. It’s hard work, but it works.

A few minutes ago, a big, freaking bucket of depression dumped itself on my head. NOTHING is wrong. It is simply the chemicals in my brain.

I have genetic depression. It’s no different than diabetes. My brain doesn’t work. It is wonky. It creates emotions and thoughts that feel real, but they are NOT.

When it dumped on me a few minutes ago, I said,”Oh $&! That feels awful!” I cried a bit and reminded myself that I have bipolar and it has been VERY active during this pandemic. I will probably have a few suicidal thoughts later as this is the typical pattern.

My depression is about 20% of what it used to be. I use the ideas in Take Charge and Get it Done and I found a med that works. Meds alone are not enough.

The depression is terrible, but I have taught myself to FIGHT the unreal feelings and thoughts of this succubus illness.

It takes a lot of my energy and so much fo my time, but I choose a life with a bucket of depression once in a while than a life where I was basically swimming in depression for 20 years.

You can survive depression. We can do this.

I have been here before and I will be here again. It is simply an illness.

Julie

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Published on August 21, 2020 17:55