Tristan Taormino's Blog, page 24

Anal Advisor: Curious in Australia

My monogamous partner and I are just getting farther into anal exploration. We have done some toy excursions of the smaller persuasions and are working our way up. I am looking forward to some penis penetration when we are ready, which brings me to my question. I ran across a product called Innuendo Anal Conditioning Gel from New Zealand. I see it offered in several respectable online sex toy boutiques, but I cannot find a review from anyone, only a description from the company that makes it, which obviously is biased! It claims to heighten sensation, while relaxing the tissues of the anus for easier penetration. Have you heard of it or used it? Do you recommend it?

–Curious in Australia

The makers of Innuendo don’t list the actual ingredients of the product on their website; they only say it’s a blend of herbs and contains Lavender, Muira Puama, Damiana, Licorice, Vanilla, Frankincence, and Myrhh. It is supposed to help the tissue relax, heighten arousal, and increase sensation. It is very similar to a product that was recently released in the United States from Pjur (makers of silicone lubes like Eros) called Analyse Me! Anal Comfort Spray. Analyse Me! Anal Comfort Spray is supposed to “lightly desensitize to increase your anal pleasure,” and it contains Lauromacrogol, which acts as an anesthetic (lauromacrogol is an ingredient used in hemorrhoid creams to numb the area and reduce itching). I have not personally used either product, and the manufacturers claim that they are safe to use.

Neither of these products contain benzocaine, the main ingredient in ass-numbing lubes like Anal-Eze and similarly named products that I never recommend using. However, they are marketed for the same purpose and are operating on the same basic principle: that you need to numb your ass in order for penetration to be possible. I simply disagree. A water-based or silicone-based lube, along with patience and warm up, are what you need to increase your pleasure, not a product — natural or not — that lessens your sensitivity.

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This post, Anal Advisor: Curious in Australia originally appeared on Pucker Up on January 24, 2013. Tweet This Post!

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Jan 25: Dee Dennis on Creating a Melting Pot of Sexuality and Patricia Johnson & Mark Michaels on Making Great Sex Simple

 

 

This Friday, January 25th, Sex Out Loud is live and the show starts at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET. First we’ll talk with Dee Dennis, creator and founder of CatalystCon, a conference she refers to as a “melting pot of sexuality” that will unite sex educators, sexologists, sex workers, writers, activists, and anyone with a passion for creating change. She’ll discuss what to expect this March when the conference hits DC and how you can join in. Then, Patricia Johnson and Mark Michaels, authors of the book Great Sex Made Simple, will discuss what exactly is tantra and how everyone can benefit from their tantric tips to deepen intimacy and heighten pleasure within sexual relationships.

An activist in the field of sexuality, Dee Dennis started her career as a sex blogger, writing about the end of her marriage and starting the next chapter in her life. Through this metamorphosis, Dee discovered her passion for sexuality rights and issues for people around the world. Dee’s commitment to taking the conversation about sexuality offline and into the real world lead in part to the creation of MOMENTUM, a conference she co-founded to empower people to come together and exchange ideas that would further the conversations about sexuality, inspire people and motivate them to carry the conversation forward. In 2012, Dee founded CatalystCon, which she regards as a “melting pot of sexuality” that unites sex educators, sexologists, sex workers, writers, activists, and anyone with a passion for creating change. To Dee, “knowledge is power, and sharing that knowledge is the first spark in igniting change.” This is the fundamental principle behind CatalystCon.

Mark A. Michaels (Swami Umeshanand Saraswati) and Patricia Johnson (Devi Veenanand), a devoted married couple, have been teaching Tantra together since 1999. Their approach combines traditional lineage-based Tantra with the best contemporary methods so that students can bring heightened awareness and an expanded capacity for pleasure into all aspects of everyday life. Michaels and Johnson are the authors of The Essence of Tantric Sexuality (Llewellyn, 2006), which won the USA Book News National Best Books 2007 Award in Health: Sexuality. Their second book, Tantra for Erotic Empowerment: The Key to Enriching Your Sexual Life (Llewellyn 2008) won the 2008 USA Book News Award, also in Health: Sexuality, was selected as an Indie Excellence Awards finalist in New Age Non-Fiction, and was a ForeWord Magazine Books of the Year Award finalist in the Body, Mind and Spirit category.) Their meditation CD set, Ananda Nidra: Blissful Sleep(Projekt Records) was a finalist for the 2012 COVR Visionary Award for Innerspace/Meditational/Healing Music.

Michaels and Johnson wrote and appeared in two instructional DVDs produced by the Alexander Institute: Tantric Sexual Massage for Lovers and Advanced Tantric Sex Secrets. They have been featured on television (Good Day Colorado, AM Northwest, Naked New York), radio (Afternoon Advice and Nightcalls on Playboy Radio, Go to Bed with Cosmo Radio, The Derek and Romaine Show, and NPR’s A Chef’s Table) and have been quoted as experts in numerous publications and on many websites – from women’s magazines to dating websites to men’s magazines to GLBT- oriented media – including Redbook, Latina, Jane, Cosmopolitan, The Village Voice, Metro, Pregnancy and Newborn, More, Rockstar, Woman’s World, The Sydney Star Observer (Australia’s most popular GLBT weekly), Emotion (Germany), The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Tantric Sex, and The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Enhancing Sexual Desire. They have also contributed articles to various online and print publications, including Chronogram and Debonair, and give sexuality and relationship advice at Dick-n-Jane.com.

The couple has taught throughout the United States, as well as in Canada, the Caribbean, Europe, and Australia. They are senior students of Tantric pioneer Dr. Jonn Mumford (Swami Anandakapila Saraswati). Dr. Mumford has named them his lineage holders for the Americas and Europe. In addition, they have studied Bhakti Yoga with Bhagavan Das and Tantra with Dr. Rudolph Ballentine.

Michaels is a graduate of New York University School of Law and a member of the Bar in New York State. He holds master’s degrees in American Studies from NYU and Yale. Formerly, a playwright and translator, he translated and adapted Goldoni’s The Mistress of the Inn for the Roundabout Theatre Company, and co-wrote The Thrill of Victory, The Agony of Debate, which premiered at New York’s Primary Stages. Johnson is a retired professional operatic soprano who toured throughout the United States, Europe, and South America and performed with the New York City Opera, the Houston Grand Opera, and the Komsiche Oper Berlin. She currently is active in the conservation and preservation of New York’s native turtles.

Michaels and Johnson are co-founders of the Pleasure Salon, a monthly gathering in New York City that brings together sex-positive people and pleasure activists from a variety of communities.

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This post, Jan 25: Dee Dennis on Creating a Melting Pot of Sexuality and Patricia Johnson & Mark Michaels on Making Great Sex Simple originally appeared on Pucker Up on January 22, 2013. Tweet This Post!

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Tristan is a Featured Expert on E! Special “The Real 50 Shades of Grey”

Bestselling author and sex educator Tristan Taormino is a featured expert in “The Real 50 Shades of Grey,” the latest edition of the E! Special series, which premieres on E! Entertainment Television on January 22 at 9:00 pm. This documentary special looks at the lives and relationships of real dominants and submissives and features commentary from BDSM experts. Taormino is a sought-after speaker and commentator on a range of sexuality issues, including alternative sexual practices and communities. Her groundbreaking collection The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge published by Cleis Press in 2012 features the work of leading kink experts from around the country. Dan Savage calls it “more than just a guide to kink, more than just a sex manual…everyone can learn from this collection.” Her latest book (also from Cleis Press), 50 Shades of Kink: An Introduction to BDSM, offers readers practical advice and techniques based on real world experience about how to eroticize power, cultivate deeper connections and incorporate kink into your sex life.

Here’s the full show description:

Whether shock, excitement or simply curiosity, it seems that everyone has a strong reaction to the bestselling erotic book trilogy that includes Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed. Having sold more than 60 million copies worldwide, the series set the record as the fastest-selling paperback of all time. What is it about the provocative lifestyle of the protagonists that has readers throughout the world riveted? Is it the non-traditional sex, the excitement of the unknown, or simply the story of love between two people expressed in a unique way? Hosted by E!’s Alicia Quarles, this one-hour special features commentary from therapists, authors and other experts about the practice, and also profiles the real-life experiences of couples who follow this lifestyle. Don’t miss a fascinating look at what used to be a very secret world in the E! Special “The Real 50 Shades of Grey” premiering Tuesday, January 22 at 9:00pm ET/PT, only on E!

In this special, real-life practitioners open up about the BDSM lifestyle. Viewers find out how they got involved, what the challenges of this lifestyle are and what they tell their families and friends about their choices. The show also looks into a high-profile case in which the sex game turned dangerous for the players, and experts weigh in on the risks and dangers of the lifestyle, and what participants must do in order to remain safe, both physically and psychologically. Find out how the “business” of bondage is growing too, as an instructor discusses the popular classes that are filling up with individuals and couples eager to enter this sexually-charged world. E! Entertainment Specials explore the hottest trends, the biggest stars and breaking stories, and “The Real 50 Shades of Grey” is part of its White Hot Winter programming in January.

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This post, Tristan is a Featured Expert on E! Special “The Real 50 Shades of Grey” originally appeared on Pucker Up on January 21, 2013. Tweet This Post!

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Ask Tristan: Is Webcamming Prostitution?

[Ed. note: This question is a legal one, so I asked my awesome expert, Davis from Sexquire answer it.]

So, I was just reading a Coyote L.A. article that talks about what Prostitution is defined as, and I noticed that one can

define Prostitution as masturbation for pay. Would that mean that webcam modeling could be included in that definition? Is there an exception for cam, because I am using my camera?

To be sure I was answering the right question, I did some research to find the Coyote LA article you mentioned. After reviewing it, I can see how the issue might still be a bit confusing. The answer to your question is most likely no, but let me add a few caveats before getting in to too much detail.

Caveat 1 –The article you cited discussed California laws regarding prostitution, and each state (and often city or town) has its own specific rules that govern what is/is not illegal there. I’m going to answer your question under California law, but if you’re wondering about another state, or even an area in California other than LA, you’ll need to do some additional research.

Caveat 2 – Some places don’t have very specific laws, and often whoever is in power (mayors, council persons, sheriffs) dictate what types of things are more vigorously pursued at any particular time. If you’re new to an area, be sure you learn about the prostitution and sex work laws that govern, but also find out a bit about the area’s political climate and whether local governmental authorities are particularly active in this area.

Caveat 3 – Your question was about prostitution laws, but obscenity laws may also govern cam or fetish video work. Just because a local government agent can’t fit what you’re doing into the definition of prostitution doesn’t mean you’re necessarily in the clear, as obscenity and “lewdness” laws vary quite a bit from state to state.

Okay, with all that being said, let’s dive into your question. The article you mentioned discussed how dancing nude and masturbating oneself might meet the definition of prostitution under California Penal Code Sec. 647 (which defines prostitution). The actual language of the law is long and confusing, but the article is correct that the law includes in its definition of prostitution “a lewd act for money or other consideration” which is “the touching of breast, buttocks or genitals for the purpose of sexual gratification or arousal.” The article goes on to say that since the law does not define WHO is doing the touching, that one who dances nude or masturbates oneself as part of their act could, if their customer achieves sexual gratification, be found to have committed an act of prostitution. However, your question was not about someone dancing nude or masturbating themselves in front of someone IN PERSON, it was about cam work, where you are far removed from, and indeed may not even have any information at all about, your client. And this is what, at least for now, removes cam work from the definition of prostitution. It does not take place between two persons in public or private, as the California statute states for every definition of prostitution. It may seem a bit fuzzy, but because you have the barrier of the computer, the internet and space/time between you and the person purchasing your services, it simply doesn’t fit the current definition of illegal sex work. Of course it may fit under a pornography or obscenity definition, and with the recent laws and referendums in California one never knows how laws may change, but for now, at least in California, cam work does not likely fit the definition of prostitution and to my knowledge, no cases have been pursued.

One final caveat though – despite not technically fitting the definition, nothing prevents local law enforcement from claiming that a particular act is illegal, so know that although a case would likely not prevail, an overzealous officer and prosecutor could certainly charge someone with prostitution simply for cam or other work. So be careful out there regardless of what your local law currently says.

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Davis is the founder of Sexquire, a complete sex-positive business services company. Davis is the legal arm of Sexquire, having advised brick and mortar sex toy stores, sex educators, sex workers and other sex positive business folk on all manner of legal issues for over 7 years.   In addition to legal matters, Sexquire also provides bookkeeping, accounting, personal assistance and other business services all with a sex-positive spin.  You can find them online at their website, as well as Twitter and Facebook.

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This post, Ask Tristan: Is Webcamming Prostitution? originally appeared on Pucker Up on January 18, 2013. Tweet This Post!

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Transform your Relationship 10x in 10 Minutes a Day with Reid Mihalko

Over the holidays, Reid Mihalko of ReidAboutSex.com launched an amazing new program, Relationship 10x. When it comes to improving your relationships and transforming your love life, there is so much hype out there these days, and it gets frustrating to wade through the noise to get to the gold nuggets. That’s why I’m so pleased to share Reid’s information with you.

Reid Mihalko (who you may remember from his appearance on my show Sex Out Loud) is down-to-earth, practical, and funny. And the information he’s sharing does make a powerful difference in relationships. He gets down to the nitty-gritty fast, and shows us fundamental changes we can make to help our partners feel loved, honored and cherished. Why? So they (and we) feel more connected and intimate, which means we all have more bandwidth and joy to support each other.

Reid has produced four free videos with tips and information to help improve your relationship communication and give you a sample of the Relationship 10x program. Check out all 4 of them below!

~ How to stop fighting like Cats and Dogs and start loving. Watch this video to find out if you’re a Cat or a Dog when it comes to romance…and how this knowledge can improve your dynamic.

~ Saying What You’ve Haven’t Been Saying. Sharing what you’re really feeling with your loved ones creates intimacy like nothing else. It also builds/rebuilds trust. Reid’s approach makes these conversations so much easier, that he give us a formula on how to speak up when it’s difficult!

~ Self-Expression Trumps Attraction. Ever wished it wasn’t so long until “til death do us part”? Feel like your relationship ran out of steam a while ago, and only a defibrillator would bring it back to life? It’s time to stop struggling trying to be something we’re not, and start being self-expressed. When you share your TRUE self, the people who love YOUR particular quirks and talents will be drawn to the real you. Naturally!

~ What Your Lover’s Body And A Wineglass Have In Common.  How do you listen to your partner’s body? Do you want to have more warm, magical, (and hot) touch in your life? Do you want your partner’s body to feel safe, open and alive under your hands? And to feel that open, deep passion yourself? Reid says that improving your ability to listen to your partner’s body and hear it is the best advice he can give you for how to transform your sexual and sensuality skillsets.

If you enjoyed those videos, you will love the entire Relationship 10x program. Relationship10x is a daily program you engage with for 6 weeks. This gives you and your partner time to get under the hood of your relationship, to recognize and break bad habits and anchor new, powerful ones in place. You’ll create new patterns of relating around communication, sex and affection and relationship IQ.

And it won’t take a lifetime. It can happen in as little as 10-minutes a day. Really.

In Relationship10x Reid will guide you in upgrading and updating your relationship skills so you can eliminate the conflicts and stress of trying to make old approaches work in a modern world. You and your loved ones deserve it!

Can you afford to let your relationships flounder one more day? Make 2013 the year you make your relationship 10X better. 

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This post, Transform your Relationship 10x in 10 Minutes a Day with Reid Mihalko originally appeared on Pucker Up on January 16, 2013. Tweet This Post!

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Sometimes She Lets Me: Now An Audio Book

I am so thrilled to announce the release of the audio book version of my Lambda Literary Award-winning anthology Sometimes She Lets Me: Best Butch/Femme Erotica. It’s available on Amazon and Audible (you can even listen to a sample at Audible). First, I am just excited that the audio book market has really exploded recently, and audio book versions of several of my books have already been produced, including Best Lesbian Erotica 2007, Best Lesbian Erotica 2009, Best of the Best Lesbian Erotica, Hot Lesbian Erotica, and Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships (and coming soon: Down and Dirty Sex Secrets!). I think erotica books make especially good material for audio (of course) and queer erotica is where I got my start so it’s close to my heart. But what makes this one extra special is that I co-produced and narrated it! That’s right, here’s your chance to hear more than 7 hours of me talking dirty to you, reading smutty stories by folks like S. Bear Bergman, Toni Amato, D. Alexandria, Peggy Munson, Sinclair Sexsmith, Elaine Miller, Amie M. Evans, Alison Smith, and more. You’ll hear tales of the new femme in town and the butch pastry chef, the cop who passes as a guy and picks up straight girls at hip hop clubs, porn-watching butches who can’t keep their hands off each other, a sexy game of hide and seek in the woods, what happens when a femme trolls the personals for a date, one girl’s revenge on sweet-talking butches, a threesome with a power couple, girl-on-girl lipstick smearing, poetic public sex and some particularly incendiary roleplay. The stories are filled with dominant Daddies, butches with swagger, fierce femmes, strippers and sex workers, longtime lovers, femme tops, and plenty more. I promise you: it’s a good time! My producer and engineer on this project is a superstar in his own right: Dylan Keefe. Dylan is part of the team of geniuses who work on public radio show Radiolab and the bass player for Marcy Playground, an awesome 90s band famous for the song “Sex and Candy.” Dylan and I had so much fun in the studio together recording this, and we hope to collaborate on more projects together. I hope you’ll check it out, tell your friends, and enjoy this porn for your ears!

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This post, Sometimes She Lets Me: Now An Audio Book originally appeared on Pucker Up on January 15, 2013. Tweet This Post!

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Anal Advisor: Lubeless

I love anal sex, and my wife tries her best to enjoy it too. Here’s the problem: it seems I can never get enough lube up inside her to smooth out the ride, and the resulting friction causes her a lot of pain, thus severely limiting our anal encounters. How can I get more lube where it’s needed? Is there a type of lube that works better for anal intercourse? We’ve been using a water-based lube, but it just doesn’t seem to cut it. She has no problem with toys in there, but it seems that every time I get a shot, all the lube rubs off somehow, no matter how much I use. If I could only find an answer to this dilemma, she’d enjoy the experience a lot more and be more willing to try it more often (right now, it’s like a once-a-year thing). Any hints or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

–Lubeless

I am glad to hear you’re using lube, but it sounds like there is still room for improvement. First, you didn’t specify what brand of lube you’re using. I recommend a thick water-based lube that has a consistency similar to hair gel, and one of my favorites is Astroglide Gel. You may also want to experiment with a silicone lube, and the thickest one on the market is Eros Gel.

As for getting enough lube where it needs to be, there are two new products on the market that are designed to do that very job! Astroglide Gel Shooter is a soft plastic tube of lube with a long flexible neck. Tear off the top, slide the neck inside her ass and squeeze. Voila: lube right where you need it! The Lube Shooter  is a disposable plastic syringe with a flared base for safety. You remove the plunger, fill it with your favorite lube (which can be a little messy), and replace the plunger. Before you put it in her ass, push the plunger down a little to begin the flow of lube and let any air out. Lube the tip of the syringe and gently insert it into the ass. Push the plunger down gently to release the lube. You can refill it and repeat. When you’re done, throw it away.

If you like the look of metal, are into medical toys, or simply want to use something that looks a lot more menacing than a small plastic syringe, then I recommend a stainless steel syringe — often called an enema syringe or a lube syringe — which you can find on medical fetish and other specialty sex product websites. It holds a lot more lube than the plastic ones and has a decidedly more daring aesthetic. Made of polished metal, it comes with two interchangeable tips (pointy and rounded) and is available in several different sizes; the most common are 100 cubic centimeters (cc) and 200 cc (which are equivalent to 100 ml and 200 ml). The 200 cc syringe is the size of a large, thick dildo, so it should only be used on very experienced bottoms. To use it, pull back the plunger, then unscrew the top and fill the body with lube. Replace the top, then push the plunger down a little to begin the flow of lube and let any air out before you insert it. Then lube the tip, carefully insert it into the ass, and push the plunger down. To clean the syringe, take it apart, and wash it gently with warm water and anti-bacterial soap. Since this toy has a bunch of nooks and crevices, I like to go one step further and soak it for a few minutes in a diluted bleach solution (10 parts water, 1 part bleach). Make sure you dry all the parts completely, since if left damp, they can rust.

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This post, Anal Advisor: Lubeless originally appeared on Pucker Up on January 15, 2013. Tweet This Post!

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Jan 18: All About Prostate Pleasure with Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian

This week on Sex Out Loud I welcome Charlie Glickman & Aislinn Emirzian, the authors of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners, who bring their combined years of expertise as sex educators to answer all of your questions about the prostate. They’ll discuss common concerns and questions on the topics of prostate health, massage, toys, and pegging, as well as teach how prostate pleasure can improve your sex life. This show is live and we’ll be taking questions on the air from listeners as well, so call in at 866-472-5788 with your question or post them on Facebook or Twitter.

Charlie Glickman: I’ve been a sexuality educator for over twenty years. I got my start providing queer outreach and safer sex workshops as a student at Brown University and when I moved to the San Francisco Bay Area, I volunteered at for LGBT outreach and support organizations, the rape crisis center, and sex education organizations. In 1996, I was hired at Good Vibrations, where I was the Education Program Manager until 2013. I received my PhD in Adult Sexuality Education from the Union Institute and University in Cincinnati in 2005, and I’m certified as a sexuality educator by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. I’ve taught university courses for therapists and clergy, provided in-service trainings for medical and mental health professionals, and I teach workshops on a wide range of topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, gender & masculinity, sexual orientation, communities of erotic affiliation, and many sexual practices such as prostate play, anal sex, pegging, sex toys, BDSM, and polyamory. I also present at conferences and community events.

Aislinn Emirzian: I became involved in sexuality education as a student at Smith College in Massachusetts, where I joined a student-run peer sex ed group that was affiliated with the college’s health services. During my 2 years of participation in this program, I facilitated workshops for fellow students on topics like safer sex methods, sexual anatomy and sex-positivity. I was also thrilled to have the opportunity to give a lecture and Powerpoint presentation on feminist pornography! Following graduation, I continued in the field, working with sex positive adult toy stores: First, Oh My Sensuality Shop in Massachusetts, and later Good Vibrations in California. During my involvement with Oh My, I developed and managed a new in-home toy party program run by the store, while also facilitating toy parties, assisting customers at the shop, and representing the store in outreach workshops. At Good Vibrations, I received a great deal of sexuality training, attended as many After Hours workshops as I could, and generally dove head-first into the thriving sex-positive community of the Bay Area. Having landed myself in “sex world,” I noticed that there was a growing interest in prostate massage (especially among heterosexual couples), but very little information available on the subject. With Charlie, I co-authored The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners. During the year 2013, I will begin a year-long book tour during which I will teach my prostate pleasure workshop at venues all across the country.

 

 

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This post, Jan 18: All About Prostate Pleasure with Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian originally appeared on Pucker Up on January 14, 2013. Tweet This Post!

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Jan 11: Dr. Eli Sheff on Polyamory and Families & Sinclair Sexsmith on Lesbian BDSM Erotica

This week’s episode of Sex Out Loud has two different guests talking about their work giving voice to sexual minorities who are often marginalized in the community. Dr. Eli Sheff will talk about her new book based on her groundbreaking work with Polyamorous Family Study, a 16 year project. The mission of the Polyamorous Family Study is to provide high-quality, research-based information about poly families with kids using sound research methods based in years of sociological study. Sinclair Sexsmith is the kinky butch top behind the the popular Sugarbutch Chronicles. They’re also a writer, storyteller, and performer who studies critical feminist & gender theory, sexual freedom, social change activism, archetypes, and the tantric and buddhist spiritual systems.

A pioneer in research on polyamory, Dr. Elisabeth “Eli” Sheff is the foremost academic expert on polyamory in the US, and the worldwide expert on poly families with children, having conducted the only longitudinal analysis of poly families with children to date. After teaching Sociology for 15 years at three universities, Dr. Sheff established the Sheff Consulting Group (SCG), a think-tank of academicians and professionals who specialize in legal and educational services for unconventional populations, and those who need to know about them. As the Senior Legal Consultant at SCG, Dr. Sheff specializes in families of sexual minorities, providing expert witness services, home evaluations for unconventional families facing child custody issues or attempting to adopt kids, andcontinuing education to lawyers, educators, counselors, and therapists. Her book The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple Partner Relationships and Families is being published by Rowman and Littlefield in 2013.

Sinclair Sexsmith (MrSexsmith.com) writes the award-winning personal online project Sugarbutch Chronicles: The Sex, Gender, and Relationship Adventures of a Kinky Queer Butch Top at SugarButch.net. They have contributed to more than a dozen anthologies, and is the editor of Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica. They teach workshops ongender and sexuality throughout the US, including at various colleges.

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This post, Jan 11: Dr. Eli Sheff on Polyamory and Families & Sinclair Sexsmith on Lesbian BDSM Erotica originally appeared on Pucker Up on January 6, 2013. Tweet This Post!

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Topping Not as Low Risk as Previously Thought?

A new study in Australia shows the risk of contracting HIV while engaged in the practice of topping or taking the “insertive role” in sex. This practice is thought by many to be a lower risk activity when engaging in unprotected sex, but the research is indicating otherwise. How is the virus being transmitted from the receiver to the person on top?

During anal sex, HIV can be transmitted to the insertive partner when a bodily fluid containing HIV from the receptive partner, such as anal mucus, enters the body of the insertive partner. This can occur through the foreskin and surrounding areas, the eye of the penis to the urethra (also a mucous membrane), or through tiny (often invisible) breaks in the skin of the penis.

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Anal mucus is increasingly being mentioned in Australian campaigns as the infectious body fluid potentially infecting the insertive partner during unprotected anal intercourse.

This is a significant piece of the puzzle which reminds us about how HIV can be transmitted during unprotected anal intercourse. I recommend everyone read it to stay informed about transmission and share it with your lovers, partners, and friends. Full article here: It’s Time To Talk Top: The Risk Of Insertive, Unprotected Anal Sex

 

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This post, Topping Not as Low Risk as Previously Thought? originally appeared on Pucker Up on January 2, 2013. Tweet This Post!

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