Alexis Lantgen's Blog, page 13

New Year, New Book News!

It’s been a very busy and exciting year! I’ve published two books, had my first author events, including my first table at a Comic Con and my first small scale book tour, and I’ve found at least some time to write (though not as much as I’d like). I’m happy to have come so far, and hopeful for the future. I’m also so grateful for my lovely friends and my beautiful family.

In recent news, Saints and Curses is on sale this week! It’s only $0.99 in a Kindle Countdown until January 6, 2020, so if you haven’t gotten it yet, now’s your chance! I’ve also happy that Saints and Curses has been getting even more great reviews, including a recent review from the Magic Book Corner.

Varying both in theme as well as in genre, these little short reads explore fantasy and magic from a wide variety of perspectives and settings. Some are humorous, others touching, some will make you tear up and others may even horrify you. But they will all leave a mark.

Saints and Curses got another great review from Writer/Blogger Steph Warren at Book Shine and Read Bows:

There is a mixture of light and dark fantasy here, which means a little something for every taste, and I would definitely suggest these stories if you are looking for a quick, entertaining fantasy selection.

In addition to getting some lovely reviews, had both Saints and Curses and Sapience in several interesting online Book Fairs in the new website, Story Origin (for more information, check out my Newsletter). The fairs include the New Year Sci-Fi KU Bundle, the Readings for a Winter Solstice Fair for Magical Books, the Fantasy Previews Fair, and the Magic and Mayhem Fair.

In short, I’m looking forward to the New Year! I can’t wait to go back to Fan Expo, and I’m planning on finding a way to meet both my personal goals and my writing goals this year. May you have a Happy New Year filled with lots of great books to read!

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Saints and curses

Review: Love Potions and Other Calamities

I was excited to get an ARC of Charlie Laidlaw’s Love Potions and Other Calamities from Accent Press. It has a lovely cover and an intriguing premise, so I was excited to read it. I’m happy to say that while it may have a few flaws, it definitely delivered a charming array of characters and some very funny moments, as well as an intriguing mystery.

In particular, I enjoyed that characters of the book. I found the main characters—Rosie, Mara, Richie, and Jack—charming, interesting, and generally fun to read about. Each one of them had a vivid voice and compelling emotional stakes. They were so fully developed I felt as though I could walk into the Fox and Duck and meet them in person, or perhaps people they were inspired by. I enjoyed Rosie especially, since her gift for herbalism felt both scientific and well-researched, and instinctual, perhaps even magical. I also loved the relationships between the characters.

The setting of the book was also richly drawn and very enjoyable—the village of Holy Cross felt very vivid, full of interesting history and sights, and with lots of interesting local character.

If I had a criticism of the book, it’s that the mystery almost felt added on, as though the book almost didn’t need a plot beyond Rosie’s scheming and the romances. However, I did think that the mystery drew the characters together in an interesting way. It also kept me wondering, which is unusual, since I normally figure out the murderer long before the end of a novel (or movie, or TV show. I totally saw the ending to Watchmen coming three episodes ago).

Overall, I’d definitely recommend this book to anyone who enjoys cozy mysteries or slightly-steamy light fantasy romance, or well, Scotland. It’s a charming and enjoyable to read. You can also find a giveaway for it here!

Find Love Potions and Other Calamities on Amazon!

Here’s the blurb:

Welcome to the strange world of Rosie McLeod, an amateur detective with a big difference.  Her deductive powers are based solely on the careful preparation and use of plants and herbs.

Love Potions and Other Calamities is pure comedy, with a bit of drama thrown in, as Rosie sets out to discover whether her husband is having an affair and, as the story unfolds, to solve a murder – before she becomes the next victim.

Rosie McLeod, pub proprietor and a gifted herbalist of some renown, is thirty-nine and holding, but only just.  The talons of her fortieth birthday are in her back and her bloody, bloody husband hasn’t laid a lustful hand on her for months.

She has the fortune, or misfortune, to live in one of Scotland’s most famous places – the East Lothian village of Holy Cross, which takes its name from the legendary Glastonbury Cross that was spirited away – and subsequently lost – when Henry VIII purged the English monasteries.  The cross of pale Welsh gold, reputedly buried within the village, had at its centre a fragment of emerald from the Holy Grail.  The story is, of course, complete baloney.

But the association with the Holy Grail and the later witch persecutions of James VI mean that the village is as well known around the world as Edinburgh Castle, haggis or Loch Ness.  It has been described as “the heartbeat of Scotland” and is a major tourist destination – many of whom visit the village with metal detectors, hoping to discover the elusive cross.

However, a sighting of a large, black cat by the local Church of Scotland minister sets off a chain of events that lead back twenty years and, although the villagers are blissfully unaware of it, to a woman’s murder.  The black cat had last been sighted near the village some two decades before, and the minister’s predecessor was sure that it had triggered something evil.  The villagers, of course, think otherwise.

Nothing ever happens in Holy Cross.

About the Author

I was born in Paisley, central Scotland, which wasn’t my fault.  That week, Eddie Calvert with Norrie Paramor and his Orchestra were Top of the Pops, with Oh, Mein Papa, as sung by a young German woman remembering her once-famous clown father.  That gives a clue to my age, not my musical taste.

I was brought up in the west of Scotland and graduated from the University of Edinburgh.  I still have the scroll, but it’s in Latin, so it could say anything.

I then worked briefly as a street actor, baby photographer, puppeteer and restaurant dogsbody before becoming a journalist.  I started in Glasgow and ended up in London, covering news, features and politics.  I interviewed motorbike ace Barry Sheene, Noel Edmonds threatened me with legal action and, because of a bureaucratic muddle, I was ordered out of Greece.

I then took a year to travel round the world, visiting 19 countries.  Highlights included being threatened by a man with a gun in Dubai, being given an armed bodyguard by the PLO in Beirut (not the same person with a gun), and visiting Robert Louis Stevenson’s grave in Samoa.  What I did for the rest of the year I can’t quite remember

Surprisingly, I was approached by a government agency to work in intelligence, which just shows how shoddy government recruitment was back then.  However, it turned out to be very boring and I don’t like vodka martini.

Craving excitement and adventure, I ended up as a PR consultant, which is the fate of all journalists who haven’t won a Pulitzer Prize, and I’ve still to listen to Oh, Mein Papa.

I am married with two grown-up children and live in central Scotland. And that’s about it.

You can find Charlie Laidlow on his website, facebook page, or twitter.

Saints and Curses




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Book News

I’m excited to announce some of my latest book news! I’ve been using a new website for readers and writers called Story Origin. It’s a great site for books promotions, and I’m happy to announce that both of my books are in online book fairs this month! Saints & Curses is in Unlimited Fantasy and Kindle Unlimited Sci-Fi and Fantasy, book fairs for fantasy books in KU, and Sapience is both “To Infinity and Beyond” and Kindle Unlimited Sci-fi. If you’re looking for new books to read, check them out!

https://storyoriginapp.com/to/iiVHpmU

I’m also excited that my short story “Grackle” from Saints and Curses got a very thoughtful, in depth, and wonderful review from writer and blogger Kristine Donahue!

The world that Alexis creates in Grackle is incomparable. I’m unsure if Jane is magical in this story or not, but her boyfriend clearly is, as he takes out a wand and casts a spell to try to harm her. There are magical beings, including “security gargoyles”, which I thought was delightfully appropriate in the setting. One can also purchase magical items of varying quality – drug store charms are referred to, which implies that there are designer and professional items of magic that can also be purchased for more money. I think the world building in this short story was absolute perfection, with the world being close enough to ours to be relatable, but with clear differences and expansions due to the presence of magic. This was very well done!

Thank you so much. Katherine!

I’m also in the Elf’s Shelf Book Fair from the Fantasy Sci-fi Reader’s Lounge! Check out all these great books, all of which are on sale or less than $3.99 this month.

I also have a recent author interview out on Chat About Books. This is my favorite quote:

If you wrote an autobiography, what would your title be?

“There and Back Again.” Just kidding, maybe “Tales of a Non-Alcoholic Writer: My Life in Root Beer.” Or “I Swear I’m Not Crazy I Don’t Care What That Doctor Said.”

BTW, I do love root beer. It’s easily my favorite soft drink, with maybe cream soda and Fresca coming in second. And ginger ale, which is so refreshing.

As always, if you’d like to hear more about my books and upcoming events, don’t forget to sign up for my newsletter!

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Saints and Curses

Proximity by Jem Tugwell

Proximity is an exciting new techno-thriller by Jem Tugwell, from Serpentine press. It look like an interesting book, and it has a giveaway! Check it out!

Proximity is inspired by the fascinating possibilities of technology, AI and the law of unintended consequences. From my own experience, technologists are often amazed or horrified about the other uses that people imagine for their products. Clive and Zoe’s world might be closer than we think, but is it heaven or hell? How do we decide the perfect balance of free will and greater good? – Jem Tugwell

Find Proximity on Amazon!

You can’t get away with anything. Least of all murder. 

DI Clive Lussac has forgotten how to do his job. Ten years of embedded technology – ‘iMe’ – has led to complete control and the eradication of crime. Then the impossible happens. A body is found, and the killer is untraceable. With new partner Zoe Jordan, Clive must re-sharpen his detective skills and find the killer without technology, before time runs out for the next victim…

Leading the trend in speculative crime thrillers, Jem Tugwell’s thrilling and thought-provoking debut sits alongside Black Mirror and The City and the City in a compelling exploration of our near future. Proximity draws on Jem’s 20 years of professional experience as a software developer in the city to give an unnerving insight into how our world might be transformed by the rapid advance in embedded technology and fitness trackers.

What if the cash-strapped public healthcare system can be given a second life by using tech to regulate our health and behaviour?

What if we can eradicate gun, knife and other proximity crimes by tracking everyone’s activity?

What if civil liberty is seen as an acceptable sacrifice for the greater good?

What if the convenience of technology is used for control?

Excerpt:

I couldn’t face another pious episode, so leaving my chair behind, I sauntered down the empty corridor to the office’s snack area. The exuberantly muraled vending machine stretched across one wall. As I approached, my embedded iMe device connected with the machine and its synthesised human voice said: ‘How can I serve you, Clive?’

I crossed my fingers behind my back. ‘Give me some chocolate – a Mars bar.’ I spoke slowly and clearly to aid the voice recognition.

‘Sorry, Clive, but you still have an Excess Consumption Order and your iMe reports: high blood sugar level. You are already at 59% of your restricted daily calorie allowance and 60% of your saturated fat allowance,’ it stated and then added in an upbeat tone. ‘Please make another selection.’

I uncrossed my fingers – it never worked, but I had to try. ‘Give me a coffee then.’

‘Sorry, Clive, but your iMe reports: slightly raised pulse and blood pressure, and high caffeine levels. Please make another selection.’

I banged the glass, ‘Just give me the drink, machine.’ The only reason I had a raised pulse and blood pressure was because these damn things wouldn’t do what I wanted.

‘Sorry, Clive, but your anger and violence towards me have been marked on your personnel file. I can provide you with water. Please take two glasses as your iMe reports: slightly dehydrated.’

‘OK, OK. Give me the bloody water then.’ I picked up one cup and took a reluctant sip. I left the other cup in the serving hatch as a show of dissent and unfurled a one-finger salute.

 I trudged back along the corridor. My churning resentment of the machines weighed me down. I glanced out at the vivid April morning, but the sun, bright enough to make me squint, cast deep shadows inside me.

About the Author

Jem is a crime fiction author with a Crime Writing MA from City University. Proximity is his thrilling debut novel, inspired by the fascinating possibilities of technology, AI and the law of unintended consequences.

In a past life, Jem had a successful career in investment management, and he now lives in Surrey with his wife. He has two great children and dog. Outside of his family and writing, Jem loves are snowboarding, old cars and bikes.

Website: http://www.jemtugwell.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JemTugwellAuthor/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/JemTugwell

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Sapience

Reading the Song of Roland

I picked up a copy of the French epic poem "The Song of Roland" to use as research for a project I was working on. Since I had the book, I figured I might as well read the whole poem (in English translation, though the book also has the French original). As someone who loves Renaissance Faires and finds Medieval history fascinating, I thought it sounded interesting and would perhaps give me some insights into the Medieval world. What I did not expect was how much insight it gave me into the modern world.

The Song of Roland is beautifully written, full of action and interesting characters. Yet it thoroughly reflects a set of values so ancient and foreign that it took me by surprise. For example, its depictions of masculinity. Throughout the poem, men, including and even especially manly, idealized men, show the type of intense emotions that modern men are supposed to forgo. Charlemagne, the wise, great emperor, one of the greatest Christian knights, falls to the ground in a faint and openly weeps when he sees how his most gallant knights have been betrayed and slain. Indeed, all the poem's heroes, including Roland and his noble companion Oliver, weep and mourn in a way that modern society too often frowns upon. Clearly, Medieval warriors did not believe that "boys don't cry."

The strong contrast between men's expected behavior today with the Medieval ideals shows just how unnatural the modern "stoic" ideal is. In the past, men were expected and encouraged to show strong emotions, including crying and mourning.

Find the Song of Roland on Amazon!

The poem seems strangely modern in other ways. The enemies that Roland and Charlemagne face are Muslims, though they're called pagans in the poem and shown worshiping a variety of gods, from Apollo to the made-up god Termagent. What's even stranger, the original battle that inspired "The Song of Roland" wasn't against Muslims at all, but against Christian Basques in the Pyrenees. The choice of Muslims as the enemy, despite its historical inaccuracy, and the complete lack of understanding of their religion, is all to common of the ignorance people express towards other religions even today. At least the poem depicts the Muslims as brave warriors and noble knights, despite their lack of the "true" faith. Still, it's easy to see how this poem reflects the deep roots of Islamophobia in Western culture.

I'd recommend this poem to anyone interested in understanding the perspectives and worldview of Medieval France. Its gripping depictions of brutal combat and the idealized versions of feudal life make it a compelling read, though there are long sections of descriptions that can get a bit tiring.

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Saints and Curses

How to Get Writing in Five Steps

It’s been an exciting, but also very stressful year. I started a new job, published two books, and I’m continually amazed by my children, and the myriad of ways they discover to make me worry about them. All of which is to say, I love reading and writing, and I find myself with less time and energy than I’d like to do them. But I’ve decided I really want to get back to writing everyday—when I did that in the past, I felt like my writing and creativity flowed better and more consistently. So here are some of the strategies I’m going to use to get back on track:

Don’t always write on a computer.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my laptop. But computers come with tons of distractions—social media, emails, work, marketing. When I’m really struggling to get going, I’ve found myself organizing my pictures instead of writing! In other words, sometimes it’s better to just go pen and paper. It keeps you honest, and is relatively distraction free. I’ve decided to go back to carrying a small writing notebook in my purse, and writing in it when I have free time. It’s an easy enough set up, and it feels like less pressure sometimes than writing on a computer.

2. Write What You Want

I think one of the reasons that I stopped writing as much as I had been, apart from life stress, that the project I was working on was sort of overwhelming me. I loved the story, and I still hope to finish this book over the summer. But writing a whole book felt like too much while I was working full time and taking care of my family. Short stories, on the other hand, feel much more approachable to me. I feel like I can handle them easier, and they don’t overwhelm me as much. So, while I know that there’s a writing rule about finishing what you start, I’m going to give myself a break from that for now and write what I want. Maybe that’s a short story. Maybe that’s a blog post. Maybe it’s an angry letter to the editor about the horrible effects of standardized testing in schools that I will never send. But I’m going to write what I want to write in the moment.

3. Use the Time You Have

I wish I had a nice two to three hour stretch of uninterrupted time in the afternoon to write in, but I don’t. Instead, I have ten minutes of lunchtime. That’s not ideal, but that doesn’t mean it’s not useful. If I can only write ten minutes, why not make the best use of that time? It helps to carry a small notebook, so that when I have a break or a quiet moment, I can take advantage of it.

4. Keep Writing and Editing Separate

Especially when I don’t have a lot of time or energy, it’s important to just get writing, and not judge my writing too much. Editing is important, but it should come later in the process. This has always been really hard for me, since I tend to edit as I go, but I think it does hold me back from actually getting the story out. So I’m trying to let go and keep going, even if I want to stop and polish something.

5. You Do You, Don’t Compare!

I can get discouraged when I see other writers who seem to write so much faster than I do, especially during NaNoWriMo, when it seems like everyone is doing 5,000 or 6,000 words a day. I have almost never written 5,000 words in a day. But I’m not going to let it bother me. I need to write my story at my pace, and just keep going. I might never write a huge daily word count, but if I keep going I’ll still finish something. Eventually. Just keep swimming!

Also, if you’re interested in reading some great science fiction books in kindle unlimited, check out the “To Infinity and Beyond!” online book fair in Story Origin!

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Sapience

My Reviews of Anne Leckie's Ancillary Justice and Ancillary Sword

I read the opening chapter of Ancillary Justice (Imperial Radch)in the Nebula Awards Showcase 2015, and I'd heard a bit about it before that. Since I hadn't read a science fiction novel in a while, and I'm always looking for new authors to read, I decided to give it a try.

It took me a little bit to get into this book. The first couple of chapters were a bit disorienting, since Breq/Justice of Toren's experience of the world is so different from our own, and the politics of the Radch Empire seemed opaque. But as I delved into the story, it really gripped me. It's epic and heart-breaking and mind-blowing like only the best scifi can achieve. I expected the book to be mostly about the world and Breq's unique perspective, but Leckie's story-telling is masterful, and the characters she creates deeply human and touchingly flawed, even when they're AIs.

Leckie does an amazing job of portraying Radchaai as often well-intentioned, even if their entire way of life seems monstrous to us. It's easy to see how seductive their vision of the universe is, and how much it could blind people to the terrible evils they've committed to achieve it. Even the villain is deeply conflicted, suffering from a regret that may be driving her to madness. What's more, the author gives us tantalizing hints at the wider universe, and the deep danger that may or may not be gathering to assault the Radch.

I loved this book, and I'd recommend it to anyone who likes science fiction. It's a true demonstration of how powerful speculative fiction can be.

Ancillary Sword

I read Leckie's Ancillary Justice (Imperial Radch), and I loved it so much I couldn't wait to get my hands on the next book in the series, Ancillary Sword (Imperial Radch). While I can't say that Ancillary Sword had the same driving energy and intense plot as Ancillary Justice, I loved Breq's interactions with her ship and crew, as well as the deeper look the author gives us at the rich world she's built. The brief glimpses Leckie shows us of the world outside the Radch, especially the alien Presger, give the reader enticing hints about the deep conflict that looms over all of human civilization.

However, I can see why this book was less satisfying to some fans than the original. Unlike the previous book, Breq's goals and actions in this book feel smaller, more provincial, and perhaps more indirect and frustrating. Yet, given Radchaai philosophy about how small, even seemingly insignificant actions can have a profound effect on the universe, it felt appropriate to Breq's character that she would seek out one of the few people in the universe who has personal meaning to her. What's more, Breq's encounter with the Presger ambassador felt like an important moment, even if its meaning won't be understand until later.

I did miss some of the characters from the first book--Seivarden could have had a larger role certainly, and even the loathsome Anaander Mianaai. Yet I did enjoy the new characters she introduces, including Lieutenant Tisarwat, one of the only humans who can understand what Breq's isolation.

Overall, I enjoyed this book enough to recommend it, especially to fans of the series. It is not a stand alone though, so make sure you read Ancillary Justice first. I've already ordered the last book in the series, Ancillary Mercy (Imperial Radch), off of Amazon, and I can't wait to read it.

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Saints and Curses

Sapience is on sale this week! (Also, an Interview and Book Review!)

Hello Readers! I’m happy to tell you that my collection of dark science fiction short stories, Sapience, is on sale this week for $0.99! So if you haven’t gotten a copy of Sapience, and you’d like to check it out, now is a good time. Of course, it’s also available on kindle unlimited, as is my newest book, Saints and Curses.

In other book news, Saints and Curses has a lovely new review from writer and blogger Shari Sakurai!

I really enjoyed the mix of modern and historic fantasy tales, each with plenty of twists to keep the reader guessing as to how they will end.

Thank you to Shari for her lovely review!

I’ve also excited because I have a new author interview over at NF Reads! I really enjoyed talking about how my love of music has inspired some of my stories.

As a musician, I was originally captured by the gorgeous melodies and intense emotions of Schubert’s music, but as I went deeper into the lieder, I discovered some fascinating and deliciously creepy fairy tales, such as the story of the Erlkonig.

Finally, if you’re interested in giveaways, Red Carpet Fiction’s Halloween Spooktacular is a giveaway for readers with lots of great prizes, including Amazon gift cards and tons of free books. Check it out!

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Sapience

The Baker's Guide to Risky Rituals by Katherine Moon

While I don’t normally read romance books, I thought The Baker’s Guide to Ricky Rituals looked and sounded very charming. And of course, it also has a giveaway going this week!

A Kitchen Witch with a bite, a King of Hell on a mission, and a candy coated town hiding bitter secrets.

Josie Benoit, gourmet patisserie and kitchen witch, may not be a Sweet Pea native but she’s made the small town her home and she intends on keeping it that way. When trouble rolls into town on the seats of shining motorcycles, and the safety of her home and her own reputation are put at risk, Josie bands together with her coven to protect her world from a dark influence.

If only that dark influence wasn’t so deliciously handsome.

King Beleth is not a demon to be trifled with.

Leader of the Hell’s Bells MC and one of the great warlords of the Bowels, Beleth takes pride in his work and has the patience of a… man who knows what is best is worth waiting for. Known as Bell—to his friends, which you are not—he’s come to Sweet Pea to dismantle the core of good at the heart of the little town. But upon arrival he discovers three things that might just get in the way of his work:

Sweet Pea is more disgustingly adorable than they were warned.

The town has a coven of witches protecting it.

He’s developing a sweet tooth.

Check out The Baker’s Guide to Risky Rituals on Amazon!

Excerpt

He was painfully handsome, face broad and lips wide, eyes narrow. His weathered leather jacket was fitted to those shoulders with all the care of a lover. His eyes studied Josie until every hair on her body stood on end. She crossed her arms over her chest and lifted her chin, studying him with equal interest as he glanced down at her bakery case and frowned.

 “Where are the cupcakes?”

Josie blinked and it took a moment to shake that whisper soft voice out of her head, like shooing away an affectionate stray cat, knowing it could scratch at any moment.

“This is a patisserie. I don’t carry cupcakes.” She could give him the spiel she gave to Mrs. Montgomery when the old busybody asked. Cupcakes could be bought at the grocery store for less than a dollar a piece. Josie’s wares were baked with techniques that took professional training, if not at least regular and studied practice. Mrs. Montgomery still asked every other visit.

“Three dollars for… what is that?” He asked, sneering at the brightly dyed macarons.

“It’s a cookie, but harder to make,” Josie said, cocking her hip. His eyes licked at the movement and the response of her skin was a betrayal, her imagination conjuring warm fingertips stroking up her side and raising goosebumps. She had to stifle her gasp.

“It’s a rip off. I could fit two of those in my mouth for one bite,” he said.

“For six dollars you could.”

Find out more about more about author Katherine Moon on Goodreads!

About the Author

Kathryn Moon is a country mouse who started dictating stories to her mother at an early age. The fascination with building new worlds and discovering the lives of the characters who grew in her head never faltered, and she graduated college with a fiction writing degree. She loves writing women were are strong in their vulnerability, romances that are as affectionate as they are challenging, and worlds that a reader sinks into and never wants to leave. When her hands aren't busy typing they're probably knitting sweaters or crimping pie crust in Ohio. She definitely believes in magic.

Find Kathryn Moon on Facebook and Instagram!

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Saints and Curses

Hope by Terry Tyler

I’ve known Terry Tyler on Twitter for years, and she’s always been a sharp commentator and an interesting writer. Terry’s new book, Hope, is her nineteenth published work. It’s a psychological thriller set in a dystopian nearfuture – the UK, Year 2028. Check it out! Also, don’t forget to sign up for her Rafflecopter giveaway!

Synopsis

Blogger Lita Stone and journalist Nick Freer live and work online, seeing life through

soundbites, news TV and social media. Keeping the outside world at bay in their cozy flat,

they observe the ruthless activities of the new PM and his celebrity fitness guru wife, Mona

(hashtag MoMo), with the mild outrage that can be quelled simply by writing another blog

post.

Meanwhile, in the outside world, multinational conglomerate Nutricorp is busy buying up

supermarket chains, controlling the media, and financing the new compounds for the

homeless: the Hope Villages.

Lita and Nick suspect little of the danger that awaits the unfortunate, until the outside world

catches up with them – and Lita is forced to discover a strength she never knew she

possessed.

Find Hope on Amazon!

Excerpt

MoMo's gift to the nation, as the festive season draws near, is her campaign to help the long-term unemployed.  Today she sits on the Afternoon Tea sofa, her brilliant white smile so broad that the cameramen must have had to dust off their wide-angle lenses.

"I am fully committed to getting Britain fit for work!" she declares, and presenter Gavin joins her in a high five.

Enter stage left: The Unemployed.

A graduate who hasn't worked since leaving university a year ago and has spent the last twelve months lounging on the sofa eating Ben and Jerry's.

Three thirty-something factory/warehouse workers whose jobs have been taken over by robots and have spent the last twelve months lounging on the sofa, etc.

The token Older Person: a man of fifty-five who admits that long-term unemployment has driven him to drink.

All five are clad in sweatpants and baggy t-shirts bearing the slogan #FitForWork.  A MoJo fitness coach puts them through their low-impact aerobic paces at the back of the stage, while our friendly First Lady tells Gavin about the #FitForWork scheme taking place at MoJo centres throughout the land.

The unemployed get the first three sessions free, after which they can take part at a reduced rate.

"So she's not making money out of the poor under the guise of actually giving a crap, then," says Nick, then heaves himself off the couch and mooches back to his room in disgust.

I stay and watch, in revolted fascination.

"And don't forget," says presenter Gavin, "if you're out of work and hoping to receive benefits, demonstrating your commitment to get fit for work will add great weight to your claim―no pun intended!"

It gets better.  After you've attended ten classes you get a free #FitForWork t-shirt.  Wow! I mean, just wow.  I'd rather go for a run three times a week and buy my own clothes, but, of course, that wouldn't 'demonstrate my commitment'.  

Yes, Gavin, we understand.

Your prize for attending twenty sessions is a #FitForWork sports kit bag.  I'm on the website now, by the way; oh, and the next bit is a beauty. Fifty sessions earn you a #FitForWork duvet and pillow case set.  Presumably because if you've been unemployed for long enough to get them, it's unlikely you'll ever get a job and you may as well stay in bed.

Find Author Terry Tyler on her blog!

About the Author

Terry Tyler is the author of nineteen books available from Amazon, the latest being ‘Hope’, a dystopian, psychological drama set in the UK, a decade into the future. She is currently at work on ‘Blackthorn’, a post-apocalyptic stand-alone story set in her fictional city of the same name. Proud to be independently published, Terry is an avid reader and book reviewer, and a member of Rosie Amber’s Book Review Team.

Terry is a Walking Dead addict, and has a great interest in history (particularly 14th-17th century), and sociological/cultural/anthropological stuff, generally. She loves South Park, Netflix, autumn and winter, and going for long walks in quiet places where there are lots of trees. She lives in the north east of England with her husband.

Find Terry on:

Twitter: @TerryTyler4

Goodreads

Bookbub

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