João M. Fernandes's Blog, page 2
April 12, 2016
The Tale of The Golden Buddha and the Holy Tiger
“There is something in him, he doesn’t seem dangerous at all. I am afraid butI don’t really feel fear, I’m excited, I feel a needle piercing my senses and I am fully alive. In rapture, you might say.
There is something that transcends the human condition: the face to face encounter with one of nature’s greatest killers and even more surreal is the possibility of touching one, of petting one just like he is the regular house kitty. I know that tigers dont exist for my own entertainment or to rapture my sense of reality, I know! I also acknowledge that being a tiger that is petted hundreds of times a day by strangers might be boring and not as nearly exciting to him as it is to me. I am just another tasty human being, but he was is my first tiger.
These is one of those occasions that I’d to throw my moral rigidity away and embrace my own selfishness and rascality. The experience overruns every possible argument.
Keep Reading This Article on João's Website >>
There is something that transcends the human condition: the face to face encounter with one of nature’s greatest killers and even more surreal is the possibility of touching one, of petting one just like he is the regular house kitty. I know that tigers dont exist for my own entertainment or to rapture my sense of reality, I know! I also acknowledge that being a tiger that is petted hundreds of times a day by strangers might be boring and not as nearly exciting to him as it is to me. I am just another tasty human being, but he was is my first tiger.
These is one of those occasions that I’d to throw my moral rigidity away and embrace my own selfishness and rascality. The experience overruns every possible argument.
Keep Reading This Article on João's Website >>
March 26, 2016
9 Ways To Travel and Still Be a Bimbo
There are people who travel and there are people who don’t. Among those who travel are those who learn a lot and those who remain as “square” minded as they always were. This is the ultimate anti-travel advice, read this if you want to be a travel bimbo.
1 – Speak only your own language even if the locals don’t understand you.
Assume that if they don’t speak your language then they are blissfuly ignorant, forget that you probably don’t speak more than your own language. Don’t try to be understood or make an effort for it. Shrug your shoulders and call them ignorant in your own language.
If you are in a 3rd country world see the locals as “good savages” and inferior people to you. After all you have more money then them.
Reverse: One of the most fascinating parts of being in a new country is the culture shock that comes with being in touch with a exotic and new language, sometimes even with a different alphabet. Try to make a conversation with a local Thai man at the streets of Bangkok at 2 am trying to explain where your hotel is or try to catch the correct metro line in Moscow where every direction is written in cyrillic and most locals can’t speak English.
Keep reading this article on João's Website >>
1 – Speak only your own language even if the locals don’t understand you.
Assume that if they don’t speak your language then they are blissfuly ignorant, forget that you probably don’t speak more than your own language. Don’t try to be understood or make an effort for it. Shrug your shoulders and call them ignorant in your own language.
If you are in a 3rd country world see the locals as “good savages” and inferior people to you. After all you have more money then them.
Reverse: One of the most fascinating parts of being in a new country is the culture shock that comes with being in touch with a exotic and new language, sometimes even with a different alphabet. Try to make a conversation with a local Thai man at the streets of Bangkok at 2 am trying to explain where your hotel is or try to catch the correct metro line in Moscow where every direction is written in cyrillic and most locals can’t speak English.
Keep reading this article on João's Website >>
March 21, 2016
The Power of Memento Mori: Contemplating your Own Death
“Consider Yourself to be dead, and to have completed your life up to the present time; and live, according to nature, the remainder that is allowed to you.” — Meditations, by Marcus Aurelius
What if you could die and live again? What if you could beat the odds and have another chance at life? What if you could change your life right now?
The quote above from the emperor Marcus Aurelius made me skip a night of sleep. I have a strange and unique relationship with Marcus Aurelius, since I first watched “Gladiator” I liked the old man writing at his desk in the frozen forests of the Rhine. Then I came across a statue of him in Viena’s History Museum. To be there, comtenplating a two thousand year marble sculpture of one of the most powerful man that this Earth has ever seen made me put many things in perspective.
A couple of weeks ago I started reading “Meditations”, I had been putting this on hold for years, but I finally found the time for seating with Marcus and learn Stoicism with the great master.
This book, written 2000 years ago is the most lasting and important heritage that Marcus left to the world. Even his conquest in the Western Rhine seem pale in comparison with the content written while on the forefront of war.
But what makes “Meditations” such an incredible book is that we are talking about lessons of humility, reverance to life and nature, clear thinking and trust by a man who was the most powerful man in the world. He could say to a soldier to cut someone’s throat and that would be done. He could do as he pleased. He could have indulged in luxury and vices and still he decided to write, to think and to teach us the benefits of moderation and a stoic life.
To keep reading, get the article at João's website >>
Marcus AureliusMeditations
What if you could die and live again? What if you could beat the odds and have another chance at life? What if you could change your life right now?
The quote above from the emperor Marcus Aurelius made me skip a night of sleep. I have a strange and unique relationship with Marcus Aurelius, since I first watched “Gladiator” I liked the old man writing at his desk in the frozen forests of the Rhine. Then I came across a statue of him in Viena’s History Museum. To be there, comtenplating a two thousand year marble sculpture of one of the most powerful man that this Earth has ever seen made me put many things in perspective.
A couple of weeks ago I started reading “Meditations”, I had been putting this on hold for years, but I finally found the time for seating with Marcus and learn Stoicism with the great master.
This book, written 2000 years ago is the most lasting and important heritage that Marcus left to the world. Even his conquest in the Western Rhine seem pale in comparison with the content written while on the forefront of war.
But what makes “Meditations” such an incredible book is that we are talking about lessons of humility, reverance to life and nature, clear thinking and trust by a man who was the most powerful man in the world. He could say to a soldier to cut someone’s throat and that would be done. He could do as he pleased. He could have indulged in luxury and vices and still he decided to write, to think and to teach us the benefits of moderation and a stoic life.
To keep reading, get the article at João's website >>
Marcus AureliusMeditations
March 15, 2016
THERE’S NO LOVE LIKE THE FIRST: HOW IRON MAIDEN SAVED ME
I was probably 10 years old, maybe 11 and I was watching a national talk show on TV, like I used to do every day after school. In this show people would call and ask for songs to listen to and among Red Hot Chili Peppers and The Offspring songs I heard an epic and powerful song. One that left me energized like I had drunk 4 cans of Red Bull followed by popping a box of Aderal.
I had no idea of who those guys were, but I sure liked their music. We never forget those defining moments of our lives, those that change everything: the first kiss, the day you marry, the day you fly for the first time, the day your child is born, the day you publish your book, the day you first heard Iron Maiden:
Check which song it is and read more on João's website>>
I had no idea of who those guys were, but I sure liked their music. We never forget those defining moments of our lives, those that change everything: the first kiss, the day you marry, the day you fly for the first time, the day your child is born, the day you publish your book, the day you first heard Iron Maiden:
Check which song it is and read more on João's website>>
February 26, 2016
How To Be Alone
The Taboo of Being Alone
(Check the original article here with pictures and videos:
How To Be Alone )
The other day I was discussing prospective travel plans with my friends. I am always thinking about where to go next and one girl, that I was meeting for the first time, exclaimed: “I don’t understand how you can travel like that on your own. I would never do it! I mean, nobody wants to be alone like that.”
This just confirmed what I knew for a long time: people are afraid of doing things on their own and the idea of being in a strange land without any friends nearby can be terrifying. Oh well, nothing new here…
The next day I went to grab lunch with a client and he noticed that some people were on their own. This guy, being quite a social animal, couldn’t understand how these people were comfortable having a meal by themselves: “Look at these guys, don’t do they have someone to spend their time with? What a weirdos.”
I never understood why being by yourself on a café, a restaurant or shopping is seen as such an unacceptable behavior. I also never get why people always assume that these people are there because of their lack of options and not because they want.
Well I am lying, I get it! We are social beings, we need friends and family around us for support and sharing experiences. But since when did “being alone” became a taboo? Even seen as something completely bizarre?
When I Travel on My Own
I just wish that you could see people’s faces when I tell them that I am traveling by myself and by choice, because I enjoy it!! They usually assume that I don’t have friends or that I am downright weird, but what are these people so terrified of?
When you spend more days on the road than back home. When you work as a digital nomad. When most of your business connections are created online. When you write for a living… then you can bet with me that you will spend a lot of time on your own.
At the beginning it can be a bit strange, but after a while you will get used to it: to be alone with your thoughts, to schedule your days as you please, to create your days as you want, to listen to whatever music you desire and without hearing your co-workers rants about their in-laws. Of course that it can get lonely sometimes, specially at lunch, but you have the freedom to invite whoever you want to lunch with you, don’t you?
It is not a vow of silence, you know?
I always enjoyed to spend time on my own. I always liked to do things at my pace and I never had much patient to entertain people while I am working, reading or chilling. I’ve always been comfortable at being silent, I never felt the need to talk just for the sake of making small conversation. People nowadays are so distracted, they are such a junk information consumers that they need to be constantly entertained.
“If you don’t stare at a screen while you wait for the train then what the hell do you do?”
Well, I don’t know… Maybe I just chill and stay there observing people, just like people used to do before smartphones. Remember those days?
Entertaining Ourselves To Death
People jump from one entertainment to another, they need to be away from their thoughts as much as possible, they need to be bombarded with stimuli in order to feel something, because being on a train watching the landscape go by is too boring.
We need to slow down. We need to get more in touch with your feelings and thoughts, I don’t care if you are an extrovert or an introvert, everybody needs some “me” time and it doesn’t have to involve locking yourself at home, watching TV shows and eating greasy food.
I hate to do that! I don’t even own a television set!
For me it is a lot more natural and acceptable to grab my skateboard head to the beach and spend some time reading, writing or looking at the waves, and the seagulls and the clouds. I end up meeting other people as well, either they are on their own or not. It gives me energy, it makes me feel alive.
This is also the way that I disconnect from my work (I usually spend +8 hours p/day in front of my laptop, it can get tiresome), but also how I organize my thoughts and see things clearly. Talking with other people doesn’t solve it, getting drunk to forget, neither. Alone time is my magical solution.
I suppose that being alone became a social stigma because it doesn’t look cool, right?
Well, this is the result of the tendency to project or own tendencies and fears onto others. People who are more fearful of being alone are more eager to criticize and find weird the people who do it willingly.
These people who are incredibly uncomfortable and almost disgusted by the idea of being alone are also the ones who cannot be in solitude with their minds.
Criticize me if you wish, but people who don’t spend time on their own are people who don’t know who they are and what they want.
Being alone with your mind is one of the best things for your soul.
The possibility of organizing my thoughts, of letting the mud to settle is one of the pleasures that I find in being by myself. Another is the freedom that it gives me. I do what I want, when I want and how I want. I walk at the beat of my own drum and I don’t have to check with others when I decide to move forward in business or to the next destination, — this is why I am not predisposed to have a boss or work under someone’s rule, once you go this way you can’t go back.
But let me quickly address the biggest fear that people have: traveling alone.
Yes, it does get lonely at times. Yes, sometimes I wish that I had someone to share this moment with or this meal or whatever… But other times I thank the gods of travel for being on my own. Believe me, if a 6 hours layover on Sheremetyevo Moscow Airport is hard, specially after you had a 9 hour flight from Bangkok… I don’t even want to imagine it with someone else.
Even though I do admit that it can get lonely at times, I never had the feeling described on the great documentary “A Map for Saturday” where if you look at a monument and you have nobody to share the view with… then it sucks.
Are you kidding me? I mean, Haad Yao Beach is one of the best beaches in the world either I am by myself or not, waking up on a bungalow in the middle of the tropical jungle is awesome every day, the Kremlin and St. Basil Cathedral are stunning and you don’t need anyone else at your side to realize it.
The view from my bungalow at Haad Yao Beach
It is not because you can say “Wow, this looks great!” to your friend that the landscape will look better. It will be awesome either way. The feeling inside you won’t change if you express it.
And this is why I don’t let certain natural negative factors stop me from doing what I want. Certain lonely days, some depressing dinners won’t stop me from seeing the world or walking my own path. Actually I always do what I want to do either I’ve someone at my side or not. That for me is freedom and I don’t sell it short.
By this I don’t intend to denigrate people who don’t like being alone or to say that these people have no substance. But I do say that someone who never spent some time alone or traveled by himself for more than 1 or 2 days is missing a vital part of life and of what it means to be a human being.
After a while the self-conscious feelings will dissipate and you will have an hard time not meeting new people and making friends left and right. I can honestly say that the last trip I did to Thailand it was virtually impossible to spend time on my own. Yeah, I am not an hermit and I actually like people :)
***************************
Originally published at adventurousartist.com on February 26, 2016.
João Fernandes is a Portuguese writer, professional traveler and marketing strategist. He has been featured on Vice.com, ThoughtCatalog and EliteDaily. You can find out more about his writing and ineptitude to ride bikes on: www.adventurousartist.com
(Check the original article here with pictures and videos:
How To Be Alone )
The other day I was discussing prospective travel plans with my friends. I am always thinking about where to go next and one girl, that I was meeting for the first time, exclaimed: “I don’t understand how you can travel like that on your own. I would never do it! I mean, nobody wants to be alone like that.”
This just confirmed what I knew for a long time: people are afraid of doing things on their own and the idea of being in a strange land without any friends nearby can be terrifying. Oh well, nothing new here…
The next day I went to grab lunch with a client and he noticed that some people were on their own. This guy, being quite a social animal, couldn’t understand how these people were comfortable having a meal by themselves: “Look at these guys, don’t do they have someone to spend their time with? What a weirdos.”
I never understood why being by yourself on a café, a restaurant or shopping is seen as such an unacceptable behavior. I also never get why people always assume that these people are there because of their lack of options and not because they want.
Well I am lying, I get it! We are social beings, we need friends and family around us for support and sharing experiences. But since when did “being alone” became a taboo? Even seen as something completely bizarre?
When I Travel on My Own
I just wish that you could see people’s faces when I tell them that I am traveling by myself and by choice, because I enjoy it!! They usually assume that I don’t have friends or that I am downright weird, but what are these people so terrified of?
When you spend more days on the road than back home. When you work as a digital nomad. When most of your business connections are created online. When you write for a living… then you can bet with me that you will spend a lot of time on your own.
At the beginning it can be a bit strange, but after a while you will get used to it: to be alone with your thoughts, to schedule your days as you please, to create your days as you want, to listen to whatever music you desire and without hearing your co-workers rants about their in-laws. Of course that it can get lonely sometimes, specially at lunch, but you have the freedom to invite whoever you want to lunch with you, don’t you?
It is not a vow of silence, you know?
I always enjoyed to spend time on my own. I always liked to do things at my pace and I never had much patient to entertain people while I am working, reading or chilling. I’ve always been comfortable at being silent, I never felt the need to talk just for the sake of making small conversation. People nowadays are so distracted, they are such a junk information consumers that they need to be constantly entertained.
“If you don’t stare at a screen while you wait for the train then what the hell do you do?”
Well, I don’t know… Maybe I just chill and stay there observing people, just like people used to do before smartphones. Remember those days?
Entertaining Ourselves To Death
People jump from one entertainment to another, they need to be away from their thoughts as much as possible, they need to be bombarded with stimuli in order to feel something, because being on a train watching the landscape go by is too boring.
We need to slow down. We need to get more in touch with your feelings and thoughts, I don’t care if you are an extrovert or an introvert, everybody needs some “me” time and it doesn’t have to involve locking yourself at home, watching TV shows and eating greasy food.
I hate to do that! I don’t even own a television set!
For me it is a lot more natural and acceptable to grab my skateboard head to the beach and spend some time reading, writing or looking at the waves, and the seagulls and the clouds. I end up meeting other people as well, either they are on their own or not. It gives me energy, it makes me feel alive.
This is also the way that I disconnect from my work (I usually spend +8 hours p/day in front of my laptop, it can get tiresome), but also how I organize my thoughts and see things clearly. Talking with other people doesn’t solve it, getting drunk to forget, neither. Alone time is my magical solution.
I suppose that being alone became a social stigma because it doesn’t look cool, right?
Well, this is the result of the tendency to project or own tendencies and fears onto others. People who are more fearful of being alone are more eager to criticize and find weird the people who do it willingly.
These people who are incredibly uncomfortable and almost disgusted by the idea of being alone are also the ones who cannot be in solitude with their minds.
Criticize me if you wish, but people who don’t spend time on their own are people who don’t know who they are and what they want.
Being alone with your mind is one of the best things for your soul.
The possibility of organizing my thoughts, of letting the mud to settle is one of the pleasures that I find in being by myself. Another is the freedom that it gives me. I do what I want, when I want and how I want. I walk at the beat of my own drum and I don’t have to check with others when I decide to move forward in business or to the next destination, — this is why I am not predisposed to have a boss or work under someone’s rule, once you go this way you can’t go back.
But let me quickly address the biggest fear that people have: traveling alone.
Yes, it does get lonely at times. Yes, sometimes I wish that I had someone to share this moment with or this meal or whatever… But other times I thank the gods of travel for being on my own. Believe me, if a 6 hours layover on Sheremetyevo Moscow Airport is hard, specially after you had a 9 hour flight from Bangkok… I don’t even want to imagine it with someone else.
Even though I do admit that it can get lonely at times, I never had the feeling described on the great documentary “A Map for Saturday” where if you look at a monument and you have nobody to share the view with… then it sucks.
Are you kidding me? I mean, Haad Yao Beach is one of the best beaches in the world either I am by myself or not, waking up on a bungalow in the middle of the tropical jungle is awesome every day, the Kremlin and St. Basil Cathedral are stunning and you don’t need anyone else at your side to realize it.
The view from my bungalow at Haad Yao Beach
It is not because you can say “Wow, this looks great!” to your friend that the landscape will look better. It will be awesome either way. The feeling inside you won’t change if you express it.
And this is why I don’t let certain natural negative factors stop me from doing what I want. Certain lonely days, some depressing dinners won’t stop me from seeing the world or walking my own path. Actually I always do what I want to do either I’ve someone at my side or not. That for me is freedom and I don’t sell it short.
By this I don’t intend to denigrate people who don’t like being alone or to say that these people have no substance. But I do say that someone who never spent some time alone or traveled by himself for more than 1 or 2 days is missing a vital part of life and of what it means to be a human being.
After a while the self-conscious feelings will dissipate and you will have an hard time not meeting new people and making friends left and right. I can honestly say that the last trip I did to Thailand it was virtually impossible to spend time on my own. Yeah, I am not an hermit and I actually like people :)
***************************
Originally published at adventurousartist.com on February 26, 2016.
João Fernandes is a Portuguese writer, professional traveler and marketing strategist. He has been featured on Vice.com, ThoughtCatalog and EliteDaily. You can find out more about his writing and ineptitude to ride bikes on: www.adventurousartist.com
February 24, 2016
Being Rational Through Irrationality
MOST OF YOUR “RATIONALITIES” ARE NOTHING MORE THAN A GRAND PARADOX.
Since the moment we are born our environment expects us to live inside our heads, that we make rational assumptions about everything around us, that we do nothing considered too crazy or unpredictable. Our social environment doesn’t like variations, it doesn’t like people who are inconstant or who try to defy the balanced status quo. It is no surprise that it also likes people who are a total bore, or even worse, dorks.
This is the result of our educational system and of over protective parents: the years of teachers looking behind our shoulders, parents that worry that their kids will throw themselves of the 9th floor balcony, because they see a tv show that “is the worst”.
As the late Bill Hicks said: “… if he did that, then I am happy that he did it. I never saw ducks getting in an elevator, getting to the 9th floor and taking off from a balcony. They do it off the ground, stupid! Oh well… one less moron to deal with.”
So we think that being rational is the juxtaposition of reality with the consequent interpretation of the same. We see the human body as having the only function of moving our head from one place to the other, with the usual annoyance of getting sick and alleviate physiological needs. Another efect of having a “big head” is that our jokes are mental and so is the way we connect to each other. The way we behave is never fully present, it is a bit out of focus and always thinking about stuff.
Even the jokes are scripted and rehearsed over and over again, there is nothing new and even less spontaneous.
And what a surprise it is when we see ourselves as ultimately bored, so bored that even our half-paralyzed cat prefers to play with the round aquarium without a red fish in it. When we tell jokes the others laugh, but just like the joke itself… it is all rehearsed, a big show that everybody heard ad nausea. Their reaction is not a surprise, neither is yours.
To live inside our heads is a modern times curse. The funniest thing in all of this is that people who are seen as “very rational” don’t have anything rational going on for them. These are the people more prone to depressions, paranoia, dementia and unhappy lives.
And I wonder why…
Because what makes us happy and fulfilled on this planet it isn’t the rational understanding of life, – whatever that is, – but being more spontaneous, unpredictable and natural.
This is so easy to understand if we get back to our childhood:
Why do you pick shells at the beach?
Why do you stare at the clouds?
Why do you skim rocks on the shallow river near your home?
Why do you follow imaginary patterns on sidewalks?
Why do you grab a stick and put it in between the fence only to hear the tak tak tak that it does as you walk?
Because it makes you feel good.
When you reach that playful state of mind is when you are a perfectly rational human being, able to experience life in all its glory. When you do all those goofy and purposeless things you can breath in relief. Ufff… that feels good, doesn’t it?
But what happens when you try to breath in relief? Your stomach is tight, you feel that you can’t do it in a natural way, right?
And that is a warning, that maybe, only maybe you should spend more time playing with your kids, or walking your dog or just walking for the sake of walking. Maybe it is time to sit under a tree and stay there, listening to nature taking its own course: to hear the birds singing, the wind greeting the leaves, the small ant army that marches on formation.,
Why do birds sing? You can say that they do it in order to mate, but is it really? On every dawn and sunset they sing in perfect harmony the most beautiful songs that nature has to offer, do they place each beep in perfect tune just to survive? To continue the species? Since when did we transformed the world in such an A follows B place, in such a mechanistic clock?
It’s hard to believe, I remain with the view that they sing because they enjoy it.
When you do something out of the social rethoric, when you do something that isn’t rational per se but totally human nature, then is when you discover the glory of being a human being.
Written at Haad Yao Beach, Koh Phagnan, Thailand
01/01/15
Since the moment we are born our environment expects us to live inside our heads, that we make rational assumptions about everything around us, that we do nothing considered too crazy or unpredictable. Our social environment doesn’t like variations, it doesn’t like people who are inconstant or who try to defy the balanced status quo. It is no surprise that it also likes people who are a total bore, or even worse, dorks.
This is the result of our educational system and of over protective parents: the years of teachers looking behind our shoulders, parents that worry that their kids will throw themselves of the 9th floor balcony, because they see a tv show that “is the worst”.
As the late Bill Hicks said: “… if he did that, then I am happy that he did it. I never saw ducks getting in an elevator, getting to the 9th floor and taking off from a balcony. They do it off the ground, stupid! Oh well… one less moron to deal with.”
So we think that being rational is the juxtaposition of reality with the consequent interpretation of the same. We see the human body as having the only function of moving our head from one place to the other, with the usual annoyance of getting sick and alleviate physiological needs. Another efect of having a “big head” is that our jokes are mental and so is the way we connect to each other. The way we behave is never fully present, it is a bit out of focus and always thinking about stuff.
Even the jokes are scripted and rehearsed over and over again, there is nothing new and even less spontaneous.
And what a surprise it is when we see ourselves as ultimately bored, so bored that even our half-paralyzed cat prefers to play with the round aquarium without a red fish in it. When we tell jokes the others laugh, but just like the joke itself… it is all rehearsed, a big show that everybody heard ad nausea. Their reaction is not a surprise, neither is yours.
To live inside our heads is a modern times curse. The funniest thing in all of this is that people who are seen as “very rational” don’t have anything rational going on for them. These are the people more prone to depressions, paranoia, dementia and unhappy lives.
And I wonder why…
Because what makes us happy and fulfilled on this planet it isn’t the rational understanding of life, – whatever that is, – but being more spontaneous, unpredictable and natural.
This is so easy to understand if we get back to our childhood:
Why do you pick shells at the beach?
Why do you stare at the clouds?
Why do you skim rocks on the shallow river near your home?
Why do you follow imaginary patterns on sidewalks?
Why do you grab a stick and put it in between the fence only to hear the tak tak tak that it does as you walk?
Because it makes you feel good.
When you reach that playful state of mind is when you are a perfectly rational human being, able to experience life in all its glory. When you do all those goofy and purposeless things you can breath in relief. Ufff… that feels good, doesn’t it?
But what happens when you try to breath in relief? Your stomach is tight, you feel that you can’t do it in a natural way, right?
And that is a warning, that maybe, only maybe you should spend more time playing with your kids, or walking your dog or just walking for the sake of walking. Maybe it is time to sit under a tree and stay there, listening to nature taking its own course: to hear the birds singing, the wind greeting the leaves, the small ant army that marches on formation.,
Why do birds sing? You can say that they do it in order to mate, but is it really? On every dawn and sunset they sing in perfect harmony the most beautiful songs that nature has to offer, do they place each beep in perfect tune just to survive? To continue the species? Since when did we transformed the world in such an A follows B place, in such a mechanistic clock?
It’s hard to believe, I remain with the view that they sing because they enjoy it.
When you do something out of the social rethoric, when you do something that isn’t rational per se but totally human nature, then is when you discover the glory of being a human being.
Written at Haad Yao Beach, Koh Phagnan, Thailand
01/01/15
February 19, 2016
Instagram is a wall, not a window
Just because you follow someone on Instagram you are not nearer to live THAT life, you are still looking at someone’s life through a screen.
Instagram is the most interesting social media platform. Through Instagram you have access to an open window that shows your dreams… and they are right there!
The difference between Instagram and any other social media is that while on Facebook and Twitter you have access to people’s ideas and thoughts, on IG it is pure show off. It’s MTV Cribs all over again.
When you open the app for some seconds you live on the expectant validation that your dream is at the tip of your index finger. Be it a “like” or while you scroll down and breath deep when you read inspirational quotes, check your dream girlfriend, house, car or vacation.
It is all there and still it isn’t even real.
It is the entire package. You can tag their name in an attempt that they will see you, acknowledge you or reply to your comment. And you are still in the same place. Not moved an inch in the direction of your dreams.
The danger of it all is the illusion that it creates. The open window is not a window at all, but a paint on a wall. And you scratch it with your fingers and you wish that you were on the other side and you feel that because you are in touch with that reality… it’s closer.
But it’s not.
What will make you move forward is the boring work that you have to do every day. It is the email you don’t feel like replying to. The sale that you don’t feel like closing. That article that is half — heartedly submited because even though you know it is good, you already sent so many and none got published. Still, that is what will make you move forward!
All of the above will add up, the consistency that nobody sees is what is needed, even if it isn’t sexy. Nobody will like your picture on Instagram celebrating a sale, but they will like what you can afford because of that sale!
You shouldn’t be successful on Instagram so you will see success in real life. What you should do is to be successful in real life and then show your life on Instagram. People will still like you and you won’t come off as a wannabe internet celeb.
Ps. By the way, follow me on Instagram
Instagram is the most interesting social media platform. Through Instagram you have access to an open window that shows your dreams… and they are right there!
The difference between Instagram and any other social media is that while on Facebook and Twitter you have access to people’s ideas and thoughts, on IG it is pure show off. It’s MTV Cribs all over again.
When you open the app for some seconds you live on the expectant validation that your dream is at the tip of your index finger. Be it a “like” or while you scroll down and breath deep when you read inspirational quotes, check your dream girlfriend, house, car or vacation.
It is all there and still it isn’t even real.
It is the entire package. You can tag their name in an attempt that they will see you, acknowledge you or reply to your comment. And you are still in the same place. Not moved an inch in the direction of your dreams.
The danger of it all is the illusion that it creates. The open window is not a window at all, but a paint on a wall. And you scratch it with your fingers and you wish that you were on the other side and you feel that because you are in touch with that reality… it’s closer.
But it’s not.
What will make you move forward is the boring work that you have to do every day. It is the email you don’t feel like replying to. The sale that you don’t feel like closing. That article that is half — heartedly submited because even though you know it is good, you already sent so many and none got published. Still, that is what will make you move forward!
All of the above will add up, the consistency that nobody sees is what is needed, even if it isn’t sexy. Nobody will like your picture on Instagram celebrating a sale, but they will like what you can afford because of that sale!
You shouldn’t be successful on Instagram so you will see success in real life. What you should do is to be successful in real life and then show your life on Instagram. People will still like you and you won’t come off as a wannabe internet celeb.
Ps. By the way, follow me on Instagram
February 13, 2016
How To Be Decisive
You don’t need more information to decide.
A lot has been said about how to be super confident, about how to be decisive in stressful situations and when you are put on the spot, but let’s be honest… All those self-help books often lead nowhere, they don’t provide any real tools that you can use to change your life in a massive way.
You will probably do nothing after you read/ listen/ watch all the motivational talk. You will stay in the same place.
For years I tried to find the secret solution to feel powerful all the time and that led me to an amazing breakthrough. It took me a long time to understand this:
If you want to feel strong, powerful and in “god mode” then you are doing nothing else but running away from fear and insecurity. One can say that the faster you run towards being confident the closer you are to be caught by insecurity.
This is the true meaning of a vicious circle.
So what can you do?
I am sure that you put a lot of effort in your decision making process. You evaluate every position, every outcome, you try to minimize the damage and increase the benefits. But this is all useless. Sure, it gives you a sense of security but that’s it.
If you think clearly you will see that the number of possible outcomes is infinite and you can’t see al the variables. I know, you are just fooling yourself.
The more time you spend comparing every single path the less decisive you are. Just think about what we mean by the word “decisive” -> someone who doesn’t hesitate. Therefore someone who simply acts and doesn’t think about the best path to go, he just goes!
So the next time you are faced with a decision, be decisive, just follow the choice that is closest to your heart and follow it. That is what being confident means.
Because if you think about it…
It is all meaningless, anyway.
Your purpose, most often than not, comes in those moments where you act spontaneously and you flow in the moment. (Ever happened to you to do something spontaneous and then feeling that wasn’t aligned to your perceived self-image? Of course! That is because your perceived self-image is blurred, while your actions aren’t.)
To be confident also implies to accept your insecurities. After all that is what makes us humans, that is what makes us interesting and brings us closer. Accepting your insecurities will give you an unparalleled advantage. Most people are too afraid, are too uptight, feel that they have too much to lose and so they try to hide their insecurities as much as possible.
This is why “cool” people are actually boring people and lack depth, they might seem very confident, but actually they are the most insecure kind of people that there is. They feel that at any moment they might lose their status and so are as fake as possible. Always vigilant, never letting their guard down.
When you accept your insecurities then you are confident, if you are confident you can allow yourself to be decisive and act in the moment.
I understand that you might be afraid of making mistakes, but many of the mistakes that you made happened by simple fumbling, by doutbing on the lack of knowledge of not knowing which is the correct path, by thinking so much about the right way that you end up having no idea which is the right way.
So relax. Nothing bad will happen and you can trust yourself.
After all nothing really really bad will happen by that decisiveness, nothing is as permanent as it seems.
PS. If you want to read more helpful lessons, download now the free guide “How To Find Your Purpose and Live a Good Life”.
João Fernandes is a Portuguese writer, professional traveler and marketing strategist. He has been featured on Vice.com, ThoughtCatalog and EliteDaily. You can find out more about his writing and ineptitude to ride bikes on: www.adventurousartist.com
A lot has been said about how to be super confident, about how to be decisive in stressful situations and when you are put on the spot, but let’s be honest… All those self-help books often lead nowhere, they don’t provide any real tools that you can use to change your life in a massive way.
You will probably do nothing after you read/ listen/ watch all the motivational talk. You will stay in the same place.
For years I tried to find the secret solution to feel powerful all the time and that led me to an amazing breakthrough. It took me a long time to understand this:
If you want to feel strong, powerful and in “god mode” then you are doing nothing else but running away from fear and insecurity. One can say that the faster you run towards being confident the closer you are to be caught by insecurity.
This is the true meaning of a vicious circle.
So what can you do?
I am sure that you put a lot of effort in your decision making process. You evaluate every position, every outcome, you try to minimize the damage and increase the benefits. But this is all useless. Sure, it gives you a sense of security but that’s it.
If you think clearly you will see that the number of possible outcomes is infinite and you can’t see al the variables. I know, you are just fooling yourself.
The more time you spend comparing every single path the less decisive you are. Just think about what we mean by the word “decisive” -> someone who doesn’t hesitate. Therefore someone who simply acts and doesn’t think about the best path to go, he just goes!
So the next time you are faced with a decision, be decisive, just follow the choice that is closest to your heart and follow it. That is what being confident means.
Because if you think about it…
It is all meaningless, anyway.
Your purpose, most often than not, comes in those moments where you act spontaneously and you flow in the moment. (Ever happened to you to do something spontaneous and then feeling that wasn’t aligned to your perceived self-image? Of course! That is because your perceived self-image is blurred, while your actions aren’t.)
To be confident also implies to accept your insecurities. After all that is what makes us humans, that is what makes us interesting and brings us closer. Accepting your insecurities will give you an unparalleled advantage. Most people are too afraid, are too uptight, feel that they have too much to lose and so they try to hide their insecurities as much as possible.
This is why “cool” people are actually boring people and lack depth, they might seem very confident, but actually they are the most insecure kind of people that there is. They feel that at any moment they might lose their status and so are as fake as possible. Always vigilant, never letting their guard down.
When you accept your insecurities then you are confident, if you are confident you can allow yourself to be decisive and act in the moment.
I understand that you might be afraid of making mistakes, but many of the mistakes that you made happened by simple fumbling, by doutbing on the lack of knowledge of not knowing which is the correct path, by thinking so much about the right way that you end up having no idea which is the right way.
So relax. Nothing bad will happen and you can trust yourself.
After all nothing really really bad will happen by that decisiveness, nothing is as permanent as it seems.
PS. If you want to read more helpful lessons, download now the free guide “How To Find Your Purpose and Live a Good Life”.
João Fernandes is a Portuguese writer, professional traveler and marketing strategist. He has been featured on Vice.com, ThoughtCatalog and EliteDaily. You can find out more about his writing and ineptitude to ride bikes on: www.adventurousartist.com
February 10, 2016
What Would You Write to Your 16 Year Old Self?
I am writing you this on the 23rd of January 2016, so almost 10 years in the future. Even though I am you and you are I, we are pretty different… and I have this feeling that you don’t like me that much. That’s life, I don’t need you to like me or not, I only want you to pay attention to what you are about to read.
Yes, the way we think is so different, so apart that is difficult to imagine that we are the same person.
This is a letter that I want to write you, not to prevent you from the falls that you’re going to take, but to motivate you to speed up those falls. The fast you fall the faster your will understand what life is about. It is not like I know a lot about what life is about, I am just a bit older than you… and yes, with less hair.
If I could give you some advices, these would be it. Be free to accept them or not:
Travel as soon as you can. I would tell you to save all the money that you have to travel, but you already do that. It doesn’t matter where you are going, it only matters that you are going. Nobody or anything will teach you so much about yourself, the human spirit and the resilience of the human spirit as being a solo traveler.
Believe in yourself and in your ideas. Have faith and keep moving forward. Accept failure, accept your fate. Change the things within your reach and embrace those which are beyond your actions. Do not be afraid to hammer your fist on the table when needed, because if you don’t unsheate your blade it will get rusty and without use.
Believe in people’s kindness, but don’t be too naive. Accept every praise and advice with caution, – including this ones. Read, but don’t read too much: there is a world ou there and it is important to put yourself under the sun. I know that arrogance feels good right now, but one day you will have to share who you are and that involves a lot of vulnerability. After all, that’s how we connect with each other. Embrace it, the sooner the better. Speaking of which, be more sociable, you know you need it. I still need it.
By the way, you are better good looking than you think you are. You are more impressive than you feel you are. And yes, you freaking moron, girls like you!! Only if you weren’t so clueless about what to do with them and what to say. Open your eyes and act despite the fear.
Embrace change, defeat and frustration with the same strength that you hold yourself to victories. Fall in love and understand that it will break your heart and you will feel like shit and you will ask yourself: “What is the purpose behind all of this?” There is no answer. That experience will teach you more about yourself, life and other people than you ever thought possible.
You can’t see it but your family loves you, stop acting like an asshole and return them that love. Speaking of which, you should get a dog. That dog is going to be your life companion, your best friend and will make you act in a responsible way, – by your own choice. For the first time in your life you will learn to love more another being than yourself.
Write, write and write. It would be a lot easier for me if you could skip all that Playstation time for some writing. I know that it is cliché, but it is true: success never comes before hard work. In that respect your grandfather and your father, – I mean ours -, is right: work, dedicate and create some discipline in your life. Make your bed when you wake up, greet the people with whom you live and focus! Focus in your dreams, in your work, in your studies.
By the way, skip college… I mean, it is good to meet people, but that’s it.
Find what you love but don’t think that it will be easier than it is now, actually it will be harder and more complex. Right now I do what I love and I still have to psychologically slap myself to do what I have to do.
Don’t take anything less than you think you deserve. Some people will call you snob or with illusions of grandeur but your life is your life. Of course it won’t be easy, if it was easy everyone would do what you will do… And I won’t say no more.
Even though you think that that residual sadness, light frustration and emotional rollercoaster is a fleeing thing from being a teenager, it isn’t… Seriously! You will always feel a certain self-doubt and insecurity, the trick is not to overcome those but to learn to live with it.
There are things in your life, true Black Swans (I won’t explain that to you, you are in 2006 there is internet already… stop being lazy), that will change your life for good. It will hurt like hell and those wounds will stay with you forever. Be proud of those, that nobody can take away from you. That is the beautiful thing about sadness, despair and pain: those are yours and nobody can remove those.
But hey… life is pretty good. It will be awesome, in fact… it will always feel kinda mundane though. So you have to see how bright the sun shines in the middle of the fog.
By the way, being a writer is really awesome and right now you are interested in finance and investing capital. You also lived in New York City and you dated a supermodel. But oh well… what do I know about this?!
Yes, the way we think is so different, so apart that is difficult to imagine that we are the same person.
This is a letter that I want to write you, not to prevent you from the falls that you’re going to take, but to motivate you to speed up those falls. The fast you fall the faster your will understand what life is about. It is not like I know a lot about what life is about, I am just a bit older than you… and yes, with less hair.
If I could give you some advices, these would be it. Be free to accept them or not:
Travel as soon as you can. I would tell you to save all the money that you have to travel, but you already do that. It doesn’t matter where you are going, it only matters that you are going. Nobody or anything will teach you so much about yourself, the human spirit and the resilience of the human spirit as being a solo traveler.
Believe in yourself and in your ideas. Have faith and keep moving forward. Accept failure, accept your fate. Change the things within your reach and embrace those which are beyond your actions. Do not be afraid to hammer your fist on the table when needed, because if you don’t unsheate your blade it will get rusty and without use.
Believe in people’s kindness, but don’t be too naive. Accept every praise and advice with caution, – including this ones. Read, but don’t read too much: there is a world ou there and it is important to put yourself under the sun. I know that arrogance feels good right now, but one day you will have to share who you are and that involves a lot of vulnerability. After all, that’s how we connect with each other. Embrace it, the sooner the better. Speaking of which, be more sociable, you know you need it. I still need it.
By the way, you are better good looking than you think you are. You are more impressive than you feel you are. And yes, you freaking moron, girls like you!! Only if you weren’t so clueless about what to do with them and what to say. Open your eyes and act despite the fear.
Embrace change, defeat and frustration with the same strength that you hold yourself to victories. Fall in love and understand that it will break your heart and you will feel like shit and you will ask yourself: “What is the purpose behind all of this?” There is no answer. That experience will teach you more about yourself, life and other people than you ever thought possible.
You can’t see it but your family loves you, stop acting like an asshole and return them that love. Speaking of which, you should get a dog. That dog is going to be your life companion, your best friend and will make you act in a responsible way, – by your own choice. For the first time in your life you will learn to love more another being than yourself.
Write, write and write. It would be a lot easier for me if you could skip all that Playstation time for some writing. I know that it is cliché, but it is true: success never comes before hard work. In that respect your grandfather and your father, – I mean ours -, is right: work, dedicate and create some discipline in your life. Make your bed when you wake up, greet the people with whom you live and focus! Focus in your dreams, in your work, in your studies.
By the way, skip college… I mean, it is good to meet people, but that’s it.
Find what you love but don’t think that it will be easier than it is now, actually it will be harder and more complex. Right now I do what I love and I still have to psychologically slap myself to do what I have to do.
Don’t take anything less than you think you deserve. Some people will call you snob or with illusions of grandeur but your life is your life. Of course it won’t be easy, if it was easy everyone would do what you will do… And I won’t say no more.
Even though you think that that residual sadness, light frustration and emotional rollercoaster is a fleeing thing from being a teenager, it isn’t… Seriously! You will always feel a certain self-doubt and insecurity, the trick is not to overcome those but to learn to live with it.
There are things in your life, true Black Swans (I won’t explain that to you, you are in 2006 there is internet already… stop being lazy), that will change your life for good. It will hurt like hell and those wounds will stay with you forever. Be proud of those, that nobody can take away from you. That is the beautiful thing about sadness, despair and pain: those are yours and nobody can remove those.
But hey… life is pretty good. It will be awesome, in fact… it will always feel kinda mundane though. So you have to see how bright the sun shines in the middle of the fog.
By the way, being a writer is really awesome and right now you are interested in finance and investing capital. You also lived in New York City and you dated a supermodel. But oh well… what do I know about this?!
February 1, 2016
Trust Yourself and Learn How To Fly
“If you don’t know how to fly remember that you can only grow your wings on the way down.”
The most powerful attribute that somebody can have is to trust in themselves and in what they want. Trust implies that you are open to change, that you are allowing yourself to know what you want, but you are not holding on to that as a law carved in stone.
Trust is the opposite of having belief. Trust is the fundamental element to change. If you don’t trust yourself then you will get back to your former path, you will return to the place where you began. And you don’t want that, do you?
Trusting yourself also means that you acknowledge that what you want is not influenced by the people around you. Again, friends, family members and coworkers all expect something from you. They created a certain image for yourself and in their view you should act accordingly. The good news is that you shouldn’t live up to anyone expectations of you.
That’s right, you have to be the judge of your own life and understand that you will piss some people off with your “new and crazy ideas”. I mean, if you want to live a great life you will be misjudged and misunderstood. There is no other way around and your great battle is to not be influenced by it.
Whose life is it? Who will have great stories to tell their children and grandchildren? I mean would you put such an heavy mortgage on your life just because of “their opinion”?
Excuse my language but honestly… fuck their opinion!
Once a great man told me something that I will never forget. We were talking about this same subject and he said to me: “Who are you or anybody else to judge me? Seriously, who are they tojudge what you want? Do they have a Phd on your life? Did they received an award on how to live a great life? They have no fucking idea of what they are talking about, they are just entertaining themselves and you think that you should listen to those critics? Fuck them, seriously. The only person who should judge your life is you. Period.”
Yeah, he was an intense kind of guy but he made his point clear.
Most of the time we don’t fly as high as we could because we are too afraid, we want to dress in a certain way, behave in a certain way and be true to who we are but we throw all that to the side because of “their opinion”.
You have nobody else to blame and it is not society faults. It is yours. Like Frank Zappa said: “If you end up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.”
You can’t blame the man for speaking so clearly, can you?
This lesson doesn’t have any action piece or mission, just do this the next time someone judges your path or questions your purpose: nod, tell them that they are right and move on doing what you were about to do anyway.
No need for an argument, that only sucks up your energy and they won’t change their opinion anyway. Yeah sure, you are right. Shrug shoulders and keep moving forward. That’s the only way.
PS. If you want to read more helpful lessons, download now the free guide “How To Find Your Purpose and Live a Good Life”.
João Fernandes is a Portuguese writer, professional traveler and marketing strategist. He has been featured on Vice.com, ThoughtCatalog and EliteDaily. You can find out more about his writing and ineptitude to ride bikes on: www.adventurousartist.com
The most powerful attribute that somebody can have is to trust in themselves and in what they want. Trust implies that you are open to change, that you are allowing yourself to know what you want, but you are not holding on to that as a law carved in stone.
Trust is the opposite of having belief. Trust is the fundamental element to change. If you don’t trust yourself then you will get back to your former path, you will return to the place where you began. And you don’t want that, do you?
Trusting yourself also means that you acknowledge that what you want is not influenced by the people around you. Again, friends, family members and coworkers all expect something from you. They created a certain image for yourself and in their view you should act accordingly. The good news is that you shouldn’t live up to anyone expectations of you.
That’s right, you have to be the judge of your own life and understand that you will piss some people off with your “new and crazy ideas”. I mean, if you want to live a great life you will be misjudged and misunderstood. There is no other way around and your great battle is to not be influenced by it.
Whose life is it? Who will have great stories to tell their children and grandchildren? I mean would you put such an heavy mortgage on your life just because of “their opinion”?
Excuse my language but honestly… fuck their opinion!
Once a great man told me something that I will never forget. We were talking about this same subject and he said to me: “Who are you or anybody else to judge me? Seriously, who are they tojudge what you want? Do they have a Phd on your life? Did they received an award on how to live a great life? They have no fucking idea of what they are talking about, they are just entertaining themselves and you think that you should listen to those critics? Fuck them, seriously. The only person who should judge your life is you. Period.”
Yeah, he was an intense kind of guy but he made his point clear.
Most of the time we don’t fly as high as we could because we are too afraid, we want to dress in a certain way, behave in a certain way and be true to who we are but we throw all that to the side because of “their opinion”.
You have nobody else to blame and it is not society faults. It is yours. Like Frank Zappa said: “If you end up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.”
You can’t blame the man for speaking so clearly, can you?
This lesson doesn’t have any action piece or mission, just do this the next time someone judges your path or questions your purpose: nod, tell them that they are right and move on doing what you were about to do anyway.
No need for an argument, that only sucks up your energy and they won’t change their opinion anyway. Yeah sure, you are right. Shrug shoulders and keep moving forward. That’s the only way.
PS. If you want to read more helpful lessons, download now the free guide “How To Find Your Purpose and Live a Good Life”.
João Fernandes is a Portuguese writer, professional traveler and marketing strategist. He has been featured on Vice.com, ThoughtCatalog and EliteDaily. You can find out more about his writing and ineptitude to ride bikes on: www.adventurousartist.com
