João M. Fernandes's Blog, page 3
January 22, 2016
Airports and Buddhist Monks: a rant
Airports are funny places, you don’t really do much there besides waiting. You have one cup of overpriced coffee, you are so sleepy that if you are alone the delusions start early and if you are with other people you just want to be by yourself, “F*ck them” you think “Why can’t she just shut the f*ck up, we are all tired for christ sake.”
After the overpriced coffee you don’t really have much to do anyway, you can look at your phone and read or watch the same regurgitated stuff from your Facebook timeline, over and over again. Or you can look at other people who see regurgitated stuff on their smartphones. It’s pretty much the same. Newspapers are useless and yes the environment is just way too dull to be excited, — unless it is your first time flying.
To meet strangers is a dangerous affair because nowadays everybody is so paranoid about airports, security and strangers. Besides that, you are dressed in unconfortable clothes: I mean I have thermic boots, jeans, one rain jacket and a hoodie tied around my waist. How stupid we all look in the name of the idiotic weight rule and cabin luggage restriction. And then in despite of all the sacrifices, there is always that self entitled backpacker that somehow just got away with a 50kg backpack bigger than himself.
Realize this: we as a species construct this enormous complex just for people to wait. And you have to go through a series of endless queues. Yes, in airports there are queues for everything: toilet, check in, baggage claim, boarding, looking at the screens. Is all one big waiting queue. It is beyond ridiculous.
Specially when it is 32 degrees outside and I am in thermic boots. My feet are more wet than a semi tropical brothel toilet room. I already feel disgusting, my skin is already getting greasy. And then there’s that. Why is that every time I board on a plane my skin gets so greasy, my fingernails get black… pitch black, where all that dirt comes from? Are airplanes so dirty that you can’t even sit there that the dirtiness gets attracted to you like an hovering moon around Saturn? Is that what we are: flying Saturn’s, gas planets inside a metal spaceship going around another planet, that is another spaceship that is floating in sideral space?!
I look at my left and there it is, one special place, actually it is just a series of chairs. But those are comfortable chairs, properly isolated and clean. And for whom are these for? For monks.
So those little fat bald guys dressed in orange sheets get a more comfortable place than the rest of us because they serves God? They don’t even believe in God, one of them told them that.
What have they done for the human species that gives them a special place in airport waiting areas? Because they sleep on the floor, because they can’t play football, because they “can’t” eat meat? Jesus fucking Buddha, are you serious? If that is so, they are more used to crappy places than us anyway. It doesn’t make any sense.
Besides, let me just add this… What a crappy life: no good food, no sex, no creativity, no fun… But they can have a smartphone and facebook and get food and money for free. They hacked the system, they are the real hackers. Those little bald guys, how are they so fat anyway? Yeah just vegetables and fruit sliced inside a juicy tasty Burger King hamburger.
Spiritual enlightenment after all comes in the way of special comfy places in airport lounges. Not impressed, not impressed….
After the overpriced coffee you don’t really have much to do anyway, you can look at your phone and read or watch the same regurgitated stuff from your Facebook timeline, over and over again. Or you can look at other people who see regurgitated stuff on their smartphones. It’s pretty much the same. Newspapers are useless and yes the environment is just way too dull to be excited, — unless it is your first time flying.
To meet strangers is a dangerous affair because nowadays everybody is so paranoid about airports, security and strangers. Besides that, you are dressed in unconfortable clothes: I mean I have thermic boots, jeans, one rain jacket and a hoodie tied around my waist. How stupid we all look in the name of the idiotic weight rule and cabin luggage restriction. And then in despite of all the sacrifices, there is always that self entitled backpacker that somehow just got away with a 50kg backpack bigger than himself.
Realize this: we as a species construct this enormous complex just for people to wait. And you have to go through a series of endless queues. Yes, in airports there are queues for everything: toilet, check in, baggage claim, boarding, looking at the screens. Is all one big waiting queue. It is beyond ridiculous.
Specially when it is 32 degrees outside and I am in thermic boots. My feet are more wet than a semi tropical brothel toilet room. I already feel disgusting, my skin is already getting greasy. And then there’s that. Why is that every time I board on a plane my skin gets so greasy, my fingernails get black… pitch black, where all that dirt comes from? Are airplanes so dirty that you can’t even sit there that the dirtiness gets attracted to you like an hovering moon around Saturn? Is that what we are: flying Saturn’s, gas planets inside a metal spaceship going around another planet, that is another spaceship that is floating in sideral space?!
I look at my left and there it is, one special place, actually it is just a series of chairs. But those are comfortable chairs, properly isolated and clean. And for whom are these for? For monks.
So those little fat bald guys dressed in orange sheets get a more comfortable place than the rest of us because they serves God? They don’t even believe in God, one of them told them that.
What have they done for the human species that gives them a special place in airport waiting areas? Because they sleep on the floor, because they can’t play football, because they “can’t” eat meat? Jesus fucking Buddha, are you serious? If that is so, they are more used to crappy places than us anyway. It doesn’t make any sense.
Besides, let me just add this… What a crappy life: no good food, no sex, no creativity, no fun… But they can have a smartphone and facebook and get food and money for free. They hacked the system, they are the real hackers. Those little bald guys, how are they so fat anyway? Yeah just vegetables and fruit sliced inside a juicy tasty Burger King hamburger.
Spiritual enlightenment after all comes in the way of special comfy places in airport lounges. Not impressed, not impressed….
I Promise That My Book Will Be Out (Q&A)
MY BOOK WILL BE OUT, I PROMISE!
It’s Q & A Time
Licorne Man asks:
When did you know that there was a book in you?
Since I started writing, that was like 10 years ago. I wrote consistently for all these years and I don’t think that I will ever stop. I think that everybody that writes would like to publish a book.
How did you know (was it a feeling, advice from someone, a near death experience..etc)?
That I wanted to write a book? I mean… I feel that you should only write if you have something to say, – that’s why when people are sad have a tendency to write better. I write in order to keep my sanity, I have a lot of creative energy in me and if I don’t put it out then I get tense and stressed out. It is like a need, but one that I love. A lot of people that have this creative energy if they don’t do something with it they become self-destructive individuals, they get confused. I am just like that.
Also, when you knew there was a book in you, did you start writing immediately?
Actually before we were on this trip I was in the process of reviewing the last drafts of a book I was writing for 2 years or so. It is actually finished, but I don’t think that I will ever publish it. When I got back home I knew that I had the perfect material for an epic story and started writing right away. It was insane! In some days I wrote as much as 5 thousand words, that’s ridiculous…
Did you know what the book was going to be about?
Yeah, I mean, even when I was in that Roadtrip, when we were crossing America I wrote every day in my diary. That had a double purpose: for once I wanted to have recorded memories about what we were doing and the amazing things that happened along the way and second because I knew that it would be crucial to write the book. It would have been impossible to write it without all those notebook entries. I tend to forget a lot of funny things that add up to the story.
Was there a process you followed (creatively speaking)?
Dennis asks:
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
How could I know that? I am not a woodchuck!
It’s Q & A Time
Licorne Man asks:
When did you know that there was a book in you?
Since I started writing, that was like 10 years ago. I wrote consistently for all these years and I don’t think that I will ever stop. I think that everybody that writes would like to publish a book.
How did you know (was it a feeling, advice from someone, a near death experience..etc)?
That I wanted to write a book? I mean… I feel that you should only write if you have something to say, – that’s why when people are sad have a tendency to write better. I write in order to keep my sanity, I have a lot of creative energy in me and if I don’t put it out then I get tense and stressed out. It is like a need, but one that I love. A lot of people that have this creative energy if they don’t do something with it they become self-destructive individuals, they get confused. I am just like that.
Also, when you knew there was a book in you, did you start writing immediately?
Actually before we were on this trip I was in the process of reviewing the last drafts of a book I was writing for 2 years or so. It is actually finished, but I don’t think that I will ever publish it. When I got back home I knew that I had the perfect material for an epic story and started writing right away. It was insane! In some days I wrote as much as 5 thousand words, that’s ridiculous…
Did you know what the book was going to be about?
Yeah, I mean, even when I was in that Roadtrip, when we were crossing America I wrote every day in my diary. That had a double purpose: for once I wanted to have recorded memories about what we were doing and the amazing things that happened along the way and second because I knew that it would be crucial to write the book. It would have been impossible to write it without all those notebook entries. I tend to forget a lot of funny things that add up to the story.
Was there a process you followed (creatively speaking)?
Dennis asks:
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
How could I know that? I am not a woodchuck!
January 13, 2016
This Is Why I Love Serendipity
This last week I was invited to give a talk in a school known for it’s bad reputation. I felt a bit anxious, even scared at first. I am not used to talk about life and my joy of traveling to kids to whom life has been less than kind. Many of them have police records, consume drugs and live almost on their own.
What bugged me the most was the idea of talking about what many people see as an eccentricity to kids who live on welfare. They could think that I was just a privileged asshole shoving in their faces how awesome my life is.
The unknown makes us fearful and more often than not the fear is unfounded.
Those three hours were totally fun. The kids were cool and not once they had a disrespectful attitude. I felt that by the end of it many of them felt the same excitement that I feel when I share my travel stories. I will never forget their faces when I showed a picture of myself side by side with Noam Chomsky, their confusion was hilarious. After showing them a couple of other pictures, one of them asked: “What about girls, man? Do you meet many hot girls in your trips?”
It goes unsaid that it was more of a guy’s talk at the bar than a talk, or a presentation, really. But among the jokes and cursing in a classroom, one kid came up with a super cool question:
“Dude, but after all, why do you like to travel so much?”
Usually I would say something like: “I don’t know, because I do…” I don’t think that you need a reason to like something, but usually people don’t find my answer satisfying. I looked at the back wall in the smartest way I can look at a blank wall and after a couple of seconds it came to me. I knew why I enjoy hopping in airplanes, trains and buses so much:
Serendipity
It is quite a strange word and one that most people never heard of until hipster stores started popping like mushrooms. With the old hats covered in mold, the grandfather shirts and the long beards also came the boutique stores with fancy names. With those Serendipity was brought to mainstream daylight.
The meaning of the word fascinates me because it exemplifies clearly why I love travel so much: a fortunate happenstance, a pleasant surprise.
The unexpected discovery of new places and new people. To be found by random events that have the power to change one’s life in a deep and powerful way.
I love serendipity because I always saw the immediate familiar and known as something… boring. Maybe this is still a reminiscence of childhood, but I love new things, I love to be in awe by the world around me. Do you remember when you were a kid and very small things had a huge impact on your day? For example, your parents coming home earlier or your elders deciding to go out. You couldn’t predict any of these and when these happened, seemingly out of nowhere, it felt freaking awesome. Right?
As we grow older and gather information of the world around us things become predictable, known and boring. As time goes by serendipity is lost and familiarity takes place.
Nowadays most adults can only be stopped in their tracks when a black swan shows up, only a life changing event will make them hold their breaths. It doesn’t matter if it is a good or bad black swan, because as Joseph Campbell said: “We don’t look for the meaning of life, we want to feel alive”. And a black swan always makes us feel alive. For more info on this book you can check my review of it: here.
Even cool things like plane rides, driving a fast car, meeting a new girl, meeting a friend you don’t see in a long time feels kinda… mundane. Right? It isn’t like you meet a cute girl and you go “Oh my God, am I really talking with her? This is awesome and scary and exciting all at the same time! I am about to pee my pants!”
This abundance of knowledge makes us boring and predictable. Just think about scholars, teachers or people who read a lot of books and don’t like to go out for walks, ice-creams or Ricky Gervais tweets. You know that type, the intellectuals and do you know what they are? They are fucking boring! They might know a lot of cool things but nobody wants to hear them talk. Long rants about super complex information? No thanks!
Right?
I like serendipity, because I like words. Just the sound of it remembers me of far away places, places of unfamiliar faces, spicy smells and exotic languages.
To travel is also the direct loophole to time travel, to trick death. When you travel is like you fold the time-space continuum. When you travel you gain hours and days of life, in just one set of 24 hours life fits more than two weeks of existence back at home.
Congratulations, you are a time traveler!
I guess that serendipity can also be found at home, wherever that is for you, but it highly depends in the city that you live. If you are located in a city such as New York, London or Berlin I am pretty sure that you can be found by surprising events on a constant basis. This is what happens when a great amount of people is found in a confined space: opportunities. On the other end are places not exactly known for their frantic lifestyle like Arkansas, Slovakia or Latvia.
This is why I love big busy cities. I love the noise, the hustling, the speed. I strive in those environments, it balances my natural tendency for tranquility and peace.
Serendipity makes me feel alive, the unspoken feeling that sweeps over me as soon as I get out of bed: “What will happen today? Better get ready!”. Serendipity is change and I’ve been always more fearful of stagnation than change.
Call me weird, if you want, but while most people feel scared about the future, I feel excited about it no matter how gloomy, depressive or tragic it might look.
Now if you ask me if I really described why I like traveling that much with the word SERENDIPITY, then I have to say: Of course not!
When in Rome be Roman, as some really smart person said once. To describe my excitement with such a fancy and hipster word would make me look like a snob to those kids, and they were cool kids. I wanted to be embraced by their cool and indifferent looks, like I was just one of them.
João Fernandes
What bugged me the most was the idea of talking about what many people see as an eccentricity to kids who live on welfare. They could think that I was just a privileged asshole shoving in their faces how awesome my life is.
The unknown makes us fearful and more often than not the fear is unfounded.
Those three hours were totally fun. The kids were cool and not once they had a disrespectful attitude. I felt that by the end of it many of them felt the same excitement that I feel when I share my travel stories. I will never forget their faces when I showed a picture of myself side by side with Noam Chomsky, their confusion was hilarious. After showing them a couple of other pictures, one of them asked: “What about girls, man? Do you meet many hot girls in your trips?”
It goes unsaid that it was more of a guy’s talk at the bar than a talk, or a presentation, really. But among the jokes and cursing in a classroom, one kid came up with a super cool question:
“Dude, but after all, why do you like to travel so much?”
Usually I would say something like: “I don’t know, because I do…” I don’t think that you need a reason to like something, but usually people don’t find my answer satisfying. I looked at the back wall in the smartest way I can look at a blank wall and after a couple of seconds it came to me. I knew why I enjoy hopping in airplanes, trains and buses so much:
Serendipity
It is quite a strange word and one that most people never heard of until hipster stores started popping like mushrooms. With the old hats covered in mold, the grandfather shirts and the long beards also came the boutique stores with fancy names. With those Serendipity was brought to mainstream daylight.
The meaning of the word fascinates me because it exemplifies clearly why I love travel so much: a fortunate happenstance, a pleasant surprise.
The unexpected discovery of new places and new people. To be found by random events that have the power to change one’s life in a deep and powerful way.
I love serendipity because I always saw the immediate familiar and known as something… boring. Maybe this is still a reminiscence of childhood, but I love new things, I love to be in awe by the world around me. Do you remember when you were a kid and very small things had a huge impact on your day? For example, your parents coming home earlier or your elders deciding to go out. You couldn’t predict any of these and when these happened, seemingly out of nowhere, it felt freaking awesome. Right?
As we grow older and gather information of the world around us things become predictable, known and boring. As time goes by serendipity is lost and familiarity takes place.
Nowadays most adults can only be stopped in their tracks when a black swan shows up, only a life changing event will make them hold their breaths. It doesn’t matter if it is a good or bad black swan, because as Joseph Campbell said: “We don’t look for the meaning of life, we want to feel alive”. And a black swan always makes us feel alive. For more info on this book you can check my review of it: here.
Even cool things like plane rides, driving a fast car, meeting a new girl, meeting a friend you don’t see in a long time feels kinda… mundane. Right? It isn’t like you meet a cute girl and you go “Oh my God, am I really talking with her? This is awesome and scary and exciting all at the same time! I am about to pee my pants!”
This abundance of knowledge makes us boring and predictable. Just think about scholars, teachers or people who read a lot of books and don’t like to go out for walks, ice-creams or Ricky Gervais tweets. You know that type, the intellectuals and do you know what they are? They are fucking boring! They might know a lot of cool things but nobody wants to hear them talk. Long rants about super complex information? No thanks!
Right?
I like serendipity, because I like words. Just the sound of it remembers me of far away places, places of unfamiliar faces, spicy smells and exotic languages.
To travel is also the direct loophole to time travel, to trick death. When you travel is like you fold the time-space continuum. When you travel you gain hours and days of life, in just one set of 24 hours life fits more than two weeks of existence back at home.
Congratulations, you are a time traveler!
I guess that serendipity can also be found at home, wherever that is for you, but it highly depends in the city that you live. If you are located in a city such as New York, London or Berlin I am pretty sure that you can be found by surprising events on a constant basis. This is what happens when a great amount of people is found in a confined space: opportunities. On the other end are places not exactly known for their frantic lifestyle like Arkansas, Slovakia or Latvia.
This is why I love big busy cities. I love the noise, the hustling, the speed. I strive in those environments, it balances my natural tendency for tranquility and peace.
Serendipity makes me feel alive, the unspoken feeling that sweeps over me as soon as I get out of bed: “What will happen today? Better get ready!”. Serendipity is change and I’ve been always more fearful of stagnation than change.
Call me weird, if you want, but while most people feel scared about the future, I feel excited about it no matter how gloomy, depressive or tragic it might look.
Now if you ask me if I really described why I like traveling that much with the word SERENDIPITY, then I have to say: Of course not!
When in Rome be Roman, as some really smart person said once. To describe my excitement with such a fancy and hipster word would make me look like a snob to those kids, and they were cool kids. I wanted to be embraced by their cool and indifferent looks, like I was just one of them.
João Fernandes
January 10, 2016
The Best of 2015 Was...
2015 was a year full of great things, here I leave you the best books, destinations, purchases, hotels, experiences and influencers in my life.
Keep reading and discover the best of my year in 2015:
Best Books of 2015
You can check the entire list of read books and my current reading list on my Goodreads author profile:
1st Place – The Wisdom of Insecurity, by Alan Watts
I don’t even know how to describe this book without saying that is life changing.
What if you could stop running away from fear, insecurity, ignorance and being okay with not knowing. What if you could embrace your fears, insecurities and personal flaws? Could that make you a stronger, more healthy and rational version of yourself?
I took so many notes from this book that I got to a point where I was tired from writing and copying entire pages to my notebook. This is one of those books that you should read, re-read and then read again whenever you feel that you are not enough or you don’t love yourself.
2nd Place – The Black Swan, by Nicholas Nassim Taleb
If I was super smart and with a great analytical mind this would be the book that I wanted to write. I love to read books that make me feel quite dumb… The Black Swan is one of those books. This is a book that I’ve no idea how it ended up on my reading list, but suddenly I heard it being mentioned everywhere. In every single interview, article, podcast there was a reference to The Black Swan, so I knew that I had to read it.
The great thing about this book is that it confirmed so many things that I already suspected but couldn’t put into words. I mean it covers economics, risk management, chaos theory, dumbbell theory, fragility and unpredictability, history and how wrongfully and irrationally we tackle so many things in our daily lives that will have a huge, unexpected impact.
Love it!
3rd Place – Trust Me, I’m Lying, by Ryan Holiday
If you can only read 1 book about media, PR and how the information system works, this is the book. The personal stories, examples and pieces of action that Ryan brings to the table are everything you need. This is a “how to” book disguised as a general non-fiction book. You will learn invaluable lessons from Ryan and the infamous Tucker Max.
Best Purchases of 2015
This is a though one since I am a minimalist and I don’t really buy much stuff unless I really need it or want it. But still here we go:
1st Place – Longboard
Yes! I absolutely love to go around on my skate longboard. Not only it makes you look cool as hell, but it is also a huge time saver.
I am not going to lie I was scared of riding it, not only because I had zero experience with skateboards, but I am also famous for my lack of balance. I mean, I can’t ride a bicycle… so a longboard would be a challenge.
And it was a welcomed challenge, I love to learn new things and now I can say that I an okay rider. It only took me 2 days and just one fall (uh uh!) to get comfortable in riding this around town. Now I ride it everywhere.
2nd Place – 35l Backpack
I was skeptical when I bought this backpack. I usually have a regular wheels carry-on bag that is perfect. But it is a bit old and I assumed that Thailand would not be the perfect place to go around with a wheels bag. So I bought a 35 liters backpack, which proved to be the right choice.
It has a perfect weight balance and thanks to the innumerable straps I can carry it for an entire day without even feeling that I have it on my back. It is also perfect for this kind of trip and proved to be a all terrain backpack. I can use it on a weekend or on a 3 months trip. It has more than enough space for the things that I need.
I don’t know if I am ever going back to my old wheels bag.
3rd Place – Suede Boots
These are just cool, classy and I can wear those anytime of the year with almost any kind of clothes. Extra points for having bought them with 50% discount, these were ridiculously cheap.
Best Destination of 2015
I love to travel and these are my favorite places:
1st Place – Thailand
I could say that Koh Phangan is better than Bangkok, or that Chiang Mai is such a chilled out city and what about Koh Phi Phi? So I will just put Thailand here as a whole destination.
Thailand is an incredible country, it is so easy to travel from city to city, everybody is super nice, the food is world class and the value for money is just ridiculous. It’s also a spectacular place to meet other solo backpackers and to party.
It is a very touristy place and that kinda takes the magic way, but I have to tell you, that it is a place that lives up to its fame.
2nd Place – Barcelona
I just love Barcelona. I could go there every week and still have a great time. This year was the 3rd time that I arrived at the Catalonian capital and I’ve met new people, catch up with old friends, visited new places, experienced new things. It is difficult not to like it. The beach, the city vibe, the relaxed terraces and fast paced traffic, the gardens and the beautiful women just in one place. Wow!
3rd Place – Moscow
I never planed to visit Russia. I don’t know why, but it never crossed my mind. Then I was on my way to Bangkok and had a 15 hour layover in Moscow. I don’t regret one minute of it.
Moscow is the ultimate imperial capital. To be in the Red Square, in front of the Kremlin, Lenin’s Tomb and the St. Basil Cathedral is like a shot of historic adrenaline right in the veins. Moscow is the heart of Eastern Europe and for me is a really cool city.
Not particularly backpacker friendly or to be there on your own, but I will definitely get back there.
Best Hotels of 2015
You have to sleep somewhere don’t you?
1st Place – Loftel 22, Bangkok
Most backpackers when in Bangkok stay around the Kao San Road. It’s famous, it is the party street. Every traveler that stays in Bangkok needs to party there. I get it, but I would never stay in one of the innumerable hostels around Kao San. It’s noisy, dirty, full with tourists and scammers, every restaurant serves over priced food and the stories that you hear about belongings getting stollen are abundant.
The Loftel 22 is located south of Chinatown and all the staff is beyond friendly. The hostel has a bar and restaurant on the ground floor which serve great sandwiches and iced coffee. But what really killed it for me was the terrace from where you can see Bangkok’s skyline while you chill and drink a beer in the midst of a suffocating tropical heat.
An absolute killer when it comes to value for money and great place to meet other fellow travelers.
2nd Place – Samui Backpackers, Koh Samui
Super cheap, great location in the Big Buddha pier area and really easy to meet other travelers. The staff is super friendly and all the facilities are very clean. The garden is also nice, but what makes this such an incredible deal is the partnership that they have with one of the beach front resorts.
I mean, look at the pool that you get for free!! I’ve stayed in many many hostels but I never thought possible to stay in a hostel with a pool like this… that was fantastic and totally worth to pay 7$ per night.
3rd Place – Cinnamon Sally Backpackers, Riga
Maybe it was because I was drunk for 4 days straight, but I really enjoyed this hostel. I have to say that the building lobby is kinda creepy though. Still after you are in the hostel is all about relaxing, playing guitar and chilling. The two sister who run it are cool and I only wished that would join us for our syncopated dancing fueled by vodka.
Good facilities, good location and you can buy beer in the hostel. Big points!
Biggest Influence of 2015
We are all inspired by each other…
1st Place – Alan Watts
If I have someone closer to a teacher, guru or influence is Alan Watts. He never saw himself as such but his talks on Youtube make him my spiritual guide, the voice in myself that I can’t access. What is incredible about Alan is that he always talked with such a witty and fun demeanor, he never took himself too seriously and lived such a spontaneous life.
This year I not only consumed many hours of content on Youtube, but I also read two of his books: “The Book: against the taboo of knowing who you are” and “The Wisdom of Insecurity” which had a profound impact in my life.
I read both book twice and always learned more than I expected.
It is funny to see that every month that goes by more and more people share is videos on Facebook. I guess I am not the only one identified with this man words of wisdom.
2nd Place – Tim Ferriss
This year for the first time I read the “4 Hour Work Week”. This year I consumed many Tim’s blog posts and podcast episodes. First, because I wanted to learn on how to market a book, then because all of his podcasts are full of useful information and productivity gems that I started applying on my daily life.
I know follow Tim religiously and see him as an authority in the entrepreneurial field. Big fan you have over here Tim!
3rd Place – Casey Neistat // Ryan Holiday
This is a shared place because both of these guys had a big influence in my life in different fields.
Casey’s vlogs are the only piece of Youtube content that I follow daily, why? Because it is so much fun and entertaining and well done. I always felt a huge admiration for people who create beautiful video productions and to see Casey create this on a daily basis is just freaking inspiring.
And then Ryan because I see him as the super version of me. He is just a guy that by the age of 27 has worked with Robert Greene, published 2 books (I recommend both of them) and writes about quite analytical themes in a very close language to my way of thinking. He’s also the guy who made me excited about marketing and PR.
Best Moments of 2015
It is all about living in the present…
1st Place – Beach Party at Koh Phi Phi
Probably the most famous island in all Southeast Asia and it lives up to it’s name. Cheap food, cheap alcohol, non-stop partying and one of the most beautiful scenery that mother nature has ever created.
I am not going to lie the first night after I got there was pure magic.
I met this guys in the hostel hall who invited me to join them for dinner. After having met two girls out of nowhere we bought Long Island Ice Tea buckets for 3$ each. Then insanity took over us. There was bonfires at the beach, guys playing and dancing with fire, jumping ropes on fire and guess what… dudes spitting fire. It was this massive beach party where everybody was super drunk.
And then it come down on us: we took our clothes, started running and dived in the warm bay waters. The moon was like a big white pearl over us and there I laughed, I laughed in pure bliss.
It was one big life orgasm, it was nirvana on Earth. I felt alive like never.
It is for this kind of moments that I live.
2nd Place – Beach at Koh Phangan
More exactly Had Yao beach. Its pristine white sand, the chilled vibe, the bamboo bungalows and coconut trees makes this one spectacular place to relax and take off the plug from the world. Everything around you is so beautiful that I couldn’t read, I just couldn’t focus: you have the sunset, the turquoise water, the clouds above you… wow!
It was paradise on Earth!
Then there are two restaurants that for 5$ you can have the best Thai food of your life while you have your feet on the white sand. Had Yao was an absolute paradise and if there is a place in Thailand that I know that I will come back is Koh Phangan.
3rd Place – Giving talks about my book and my travels
This is a life long dream that came true. I have done more spectacular things than giving talks, but this one has a lot of meaning to me.
I love to talk about what I am passionate about. It is a challenge, since public speaking doesn’t come natural to me, but after I am on the stage everything goes away and it is just pure fun.
I can count at least 6 public speaking gigs that I was invited to and ended up meeting a lot of interesting people in the process. It is also the public showing off of my book which makes me super proud and yes, signing books is seriously cool.
If you would like me to see to talk about what I love, let me know, comment below and we will get in touch.
***********
Honorable Mentions
What was left unsaid above:
-> My dog, Sirius the newfie!
This baby bear is the only reason why I don’t go nomad full time. I love to spend time with him, I love to go for long walks and he loves to cuddle and be petted. But the main lesson that I get from him is to be totally present, to always be excited and happy, to not hold resentment and to take life less seriously.
I learn love every single day.
He is almost 4, but I always tell that he is just 2. He is still the same excited puppy who loves every other dog and person around him. He hates cats though…
-> Petting a 14 months old Tiger!!!
This could be, and should be, on the number 1 place of best moments of this year, but… I only remembered that I petted a tiger when I finished writing this article. I mean to pet a fucking tiger? That’s insane and I loved every single minute of it.
Before I touched them I was scared, I mean scared of dying… but after I touched him everything evaporated. I was 100% in the present moment. No fear, no second thoughts, nothing… Pure bliss, pure excitement and awe for being so close to such a magnificent animal.
I have a great text about this experience, I presume that it will get published soon.
My god! To think about this makes me smile :)
-> Noah Kagan and Gary Vaynerchuck
Noah Kagan aka Taco Chief Sumo
Two big inspirations on my entrepreneurial journey. Both of them are all about taking action and closing and say exactly what I need to hear. Whenever I am complaining about the hardships of life and work I just tune Gary and it all goes way. In the same way, whenever I am overcomplicating things Noah is the guy that I listen.
They have very different styles but both helped me to do more and face my fears.
Keep reading and discover the best of my year in 2015:
Best Books of 2015
You can check the entire list of read books and my current reading list on my Goodreads author profile:
1st Place – The Wisdom of Insecurity, by Alan Watts
I don’t even know how to describe this book without saying that is life changing.
What if you could stop running away from fear, insecurity, ignorance and being okay with not knowing. What if you could embrace your fears, insecurities and personal flaws? Could that make you a stronger, more healthy and rational version of yourself?
I took so many notes from this book that I got to a point where I was tired from writing and copying entire pages to my notebook. This is one of those books that you should read, re-read and then read again whenever you feel that you are not enough or you don’t love yourself.
2nd Place – The Black Swan, by Nicholas Nassim Taleb
If I was super smart and with a great analytical mind this would be the book that I wanted to write. I love to read books that make me feel quite dumb… The Black Swan is one of those books. This is a book that I’ve no idea how it ended up on my reading list, but suddenly I heard it being mentioned everywhere. In every single interview, article, podcast there was a reference to The Black Swan, so I knew that I had to read it.
The great thing about this book is that it confirmed so many things that I already suspected but couldn’t put into words. I mean it covers economics, risk management, chaos theory, dumbbell theory, fragility and unpredictability, history and how wrongfully and irrationally we tackle so many things in our daily lives that will have a huge, unexpected impact.
Love it!
3rd Place – Trust Me, I’m Lying, by Ryan Holiday
If you can only read 1 book about media, PR and how the information system works, this is the book. The personal stories, examples and pieces of action that Ryan brings to the table are everything you need. This is a “how to” book disguised as a general non-fiction book. You will learn invaluable lessons from Ryan and the infamous Tucker Max.
Best Purchases of 2015
This is a though one since I am a minimalist and I don’t really buy much stuff unless I really need it or want it. But still here we go:
1st Place – Longboard
Yes! I absolutely love to go around on my skate longboard. Not only it makes you look cool as hell, but it is also a huge time saver.
I am not going to lie I was scared of riding it, not only because I had zero experience with skateboards, but I am also famous for my lack of balance. I mean, I can’t ride a bicycle… so a longboard would be a challenge.
And it was a welcomed challenge, I love to learn new things and now I can say that I an okay rider. It only took me 2 days and just one fall (uh uh!) to get comfortable in riding this around town. Now I ride it everywhere.
2nd Place – 35l Backpack
I was skeptical when I bought this backpack. I usually have a regular wheels carry-on bag that is perfect. But it is a bit old and I assumed that Thailand would not be the perfect place to go around with a wheels bag. So I bought a 35 liters backpack, which proved to be the right choice.
It has a perfect weight balance and thanks to the innumerable straps I can carry it for an entire day without even feeling that I have it on my back. It is also perfect for this kind of trip and proved to be a all terrain backpack. I can use it on a weekend or on a 3 months trip. It has more than enough space for the things that I need.
I don’t know if I am ever going back to my old wheels bag.
3rd Place – Suede Boots
These are just cool, classy and I can wear those anytime of the year with almost any kind of clothes. Extra points for having bought them with 50% discount, these were ridiculously cheap.
Best Destination of 2015
I love to travel and these are my favorite places:
1st Place – Thailand
I could say that Koh Phangan is better than Bangkok, or that Chiang Mai is such a chilled out city and what about Koh Phi Phi? So I will just put Thailand here as a whole destination.
Thailand is an incredible country, it is so easy to travel from city to city, everybody is super nice, the food is world class and the value for money is just ridiculous. It’s also a spectacular place to meet other solo backpackers and to party.
It is a very touristy place and that kinda takes the magic way, but I have to tell you, that it is a place that lives up to its fame.
2nd Place – Barcelona
I just love Barcelona. I could go there every week and still have a great time. This year was the 3rd time that I arrived at the Catalonian capital and I’ve met new people, catch up with old friends, visited new places, experienced new things. It is difficult not to like it. The beach, the city vibe, the relaxed terraces and fast paced traffic, the gardens and the beautiful women just in one place. Wow!
3rd Place – Moscow
I never planed to visit Russia. I don’t know why, but it never crossed my mind. Then I was on my way to Bangkok and had a 15 hour layover in Moscow. I don’t regret one minute of it.
Moscow is the ultimate imperial capital. To be in the Red Square, in front of the Kremlin, Lenin’s Tomb and the St. Basil Cathedral is like a shot of historic adrenaline right in the veins. Moscow is the heart of Eastern Europe and for me is a really cool city.
Not particularly backpacker friendly or to be there on your own, but I will definitely get back there.
Best Hotels of 2015
You have to sleep somewhere don’t you?
1st Place – Loftel 22, Bangkok
Most backpackers when in Bangkok stay around the Kao San Road. It’s famous, it is the party street. Every traveler that stays in Bangkok needs to party there. I get it, but I would never stay in one of the innumerable hostels around Kao San. It’s noisy, dirty, full with tourists and scammers, every restaurant serves over priced food and the stories that you hear about belongings getting stollen are abundant.
The Loftel 22 is located south of Chinatown and all the staff is beyond friendly. The hostel has a bar and restaurant on the ground floor which serve great sandwiches and iced coffee. But what really killed it for me was the terrace from where you can see Bangkok’s skyline while you chill and drink a beer in the midst of a suffocating tropical heat.
An absolute killer when it comes to value for money and great place to meet other fellow travelers.
2nd Place – Samui Backpackers, Koh Samui
Super cheap, great location in the Big Buddha pier area and really easy to meet other travelers. The staff is super friendly and all the facilities are very clean. The garden is also nice, but what makes this such an incredible deal is the partnership that they have with one of the beach front resorts.
I mean, look at the pool that you get for free!! I’ve stayed in many many hostels but I never thought possible to stay in a hostel with a pool like this… that was fantastic and totally worth to pay 7$ per night.
3rd Place – Cinnamon Sally Backpackers, Riga
Maybe it was because I was drunk for 4 days straight, but I really enjoyed this hostel. I have to say that the building lobby is kinda creepy though. Still after you are in the hostel is all about relaxing, playing guitar and chilling. The two sister who run it are cool and I only wished that would join us for our syncopated dancing fueled by vodka.
Good facilities, good location and you can buy beer in the hostel. Big points!
Biggest Influence of 2015
We are all inspired by each other…
1st Place – Alan Watts
If I have someone closer to a teacher, guru or influence is Alan Watts. He never saw himself as such but his talks on Youtube make him my spiritual guide, the voice in myself that I can’t access. What is incredible about Alan is that he always talked with such a witty and fun demeanor, he never took himself too seriously and lived such a spontaneous life.
This year I not only consumed many hours of content on Youtube, but I also read two of his books: “The Book: against the taboo of knowing who you are” and “The Wisdom of Insecurity” which had a profound impact in my life.
I read both book twice and always learned more than I expected.
It is funny to see that every month that goes by more and more people share is videos on Facebook. I guess I am not the only one identified with this man words of wisdom.
2nd Place – Tim Ferriss
This year for the first time I read the “4 Hour Work Week”. This year I consumed many Tim’s blog posts and podcast episodes. First, because I wanted to learn on how to market a book, then because all of his podcasts are full of useful information and productivity gems that I started applying on my daily life.
I know follow Tim religiously and see him as an authority in the entrepreneurial field. Big fan you have over here Tim!
3rd Place – Casey Neistat // Ryan Holiday
This is a shared place because both of these guys had a big influence in my life in different fields.
Casey’s vlogs are the only piece of Youtube content that I follow daily, why? Because it is so much fun and entertaining and well done. I always felt a huge admiration for people who create beautiful video productions and to see Casey create this on a daily basis is just freaking inspiring.
And then Ryan because I see him as the super version of me. He is just a guy that by the age of 27 has worked with Robert Greene, published 2 books (I recommend both of them) and writes about quite analytical themes in a very close language to my way of thinking. He’s also the guy who made me excited about marketing and PR.
Best Moments of 2015
It is all about living in the present…
1st Place – Beach Party at Koh Phi Phi
Probably the most famous island in all Southeast Asia and it lives up to it’s name. Cheap food, cheap alcohol, non-stop partying and one of the most beautiful scenery that mother nature has ever created.
I am not going to lie the first night after I got there was pure magic.
I met this guys in the hostel hall who invited me to join them for dinner. After having met two girls out of nowhere we bought Long Island Ice Tea buckets for 3$ each. Then insanity took over us. There was bonfires at the beach, guys playing and dancing with fire, jumping ropes on fire and guess what… dudes spitting fire. It was this massive beach party where everybody was super drunk.
And then it come down on us: we took our clothes, started running and dived in the warm bay waters. The moon was like a big white pearl over us and there I laughed, I laughed in pure bliss.
It was one big life orgasm, it was nirvana on Earth. I felt alive like never.
It is for this kind of moments that I live.
2nd Place – Beach at Koh Phangan
More exactly Had Yao beach. Its pristine white sand, the chilled vibe, the bamboo bungalows and coconut trees makes this one spectacular place to relax and take off the plug from the world. Everything around you is so beautiful that I couldn’t read, I just couldn’t focus: you have the sunset, the turquoise water, the clouds above you… wow!
It was paradise on Earth!
Then there are two restaurants that for 5$ you can have the best Thai food of your life while you have your feet on the white sand. Had Yao was an absolute paradise and if there is a place in Thailand that I know that I will come back is Koh Phangan.
3rd Place – Giving talks about my book and my travels
This is a life long dream that came true. I have done more spectacular things than giving talks, but this one has a lot of meaning to me.
I love to talk about what I am passionate about. It is a challenge, since public speaking doesn’t come natural to me, but after I am on the stage everything goes away and it is just pure fun.
I can count at least 6 public speaking gigs that I was invited to and ended up meeting a lot of interesting people in the process. It is also the public showing off of my book which makes me super proud and yes, signing books is seriously cool.
If you would like me to see to talk about what I love, let me know, comment below and we will get in touch.
***********
Honorable Mentions
What was left unsaid above:
-> My dog, Sirius the newfie!
This baby bear is the only reason why I don’t go nomad full time. I love to spend time with him, I love to go for long walks and he loves to cuddle and be petted. But the main lesson that I get from him is to be totally present, to always be excited and happy, to not hold resentment and to take life less seriously.
I learn love every single day.
He is almost 4, but I always tell that he is just 2. He is still the same excited puppy who loves every other dog and person around him. He hates cats though…
-> Petting a 14 months old Tiger!!!
This could be, and should be, on the number 1 place of best moments of this year, but… I only remembered that I petted a tiger when I finished writing this article. I mean to pet a fucking tiger? That’s insane and I loved every single minute of it.
Before I touched them I was scared, I mean scared of dying… but after I touched him everything evaporated. I was 100% in the present moment. No fear, no second thoughts, nothing… Pure bliss, pure excitement and awe for being so close to such a magnificent animal.
I have a great text about this experience, I presume that it will get published soon.
My god! To think about this makes me smile :)
-> Noah Kagan and Gary Vaynerchuck
Noah Kagan aka Taco Chief Sumo
Two big inspirations on my entrepreneurial journey. Both of them are all about taking action and closing and say exactly what I need to hear. Whenever I am complaining about the hardships of life and work I just tune Gary and it all goes way. In the same way, whenever I am overcomplicating things Noah is the guy that I listen.
They have very different styles but both helped me to do more and face my fears.
January 2, 2016
This is What I am Thankful for in 2015
For me the year ends at Christmas, after being stuffed in food and red wine for two days while I go around showing off my newly offered clothes the year is done. From the 25th until the new years eve I get off the grid and don’t focus on work or in “doing”.
I am not a very reflective person by nature. I rarely stop and pat myself on the back for what I accomplished. I almost never take a few days off in a way to congratulate myself from whatever I checked from my mental list. What happens is that as soon as I end doing something, I will immediately pick another project and bust my ass off to make it happen.
And it is because of my frantic modus operandi that I purposefully decide to take 5 days to reflect and look back. The exercise that I practice is called VESPERS, I got it from my good friends and mentors Zan Perrion and Hans Comyn when I joined their men’s group, The Amorati. (If you are interested in knowing more email me).
Vespers is nothing more than to pause, look back on the day, week or year that passed and be aware of what you are thankful for.
Here I will share with you a great part of my year and for what I am thankful for:
I am thankful for Riga, Latvia and my first friend who got married
This was another wake up call that I am no longer a kid. The first friend that got married, holy fuck… a couple of weeks ago we were running at the school backyard chasing a ball and now he got married. That was incredible!
Being the lunatic that I am I got everybody on board of a plane to Riga to celebrate his bachelor life. We were there for 4 days. I don’t remember much, honestly. I got drunk Wednesday at dinner and it only stopped on Monday afternoon after sleeping for 10 hours. I didn’t have an hangover. Picture that… ahahaha
I am thankful for having being robbed
I already had learned that I could be happy without people I love, with giving everything away to accomplish a dream (got bankrupt, moved back to my parents house, etc), without traveling and without a cell phone.
I always say that I only need two things to live: my passport and my laptop. I got robbed and the guy got my Mac, my wallet and my house and car keys. I was left with barely nothing. For a couple of weeks I had to get back to my fat old laptop and write on Windows Vista, which was a pain in the ass. I still was able to finish work and get things going.
I believe that I can always learn from the worst that can happen. I no longer see any difference between what I do and what happens to me. I don’t blame the destiny, luck or God for whatever bad things can happen to me.
Turn shit into sugar and learn something from it. Always!
I am thankful for having my name on the cover of a book
I dreamt about that for 10 years. Enough said.
I am thankful for what I learned
As you know, I never studied as much as this year. From Alan Watts to Tim Ferriss, from Joseph Campbell and Jack Kerouac to Seth Godin and N. N. Taleb.
I am thankful for having focused on writing
If all my life I was defensive and anxious about my writing skills, this year it all vanished into smoke. I wrote consistently, at least, a thousand words per day. That makes around 365 thousand words. That’s 3 times more the amount of words that my book has. Right now I can value my writing and acknowledge my quality as a writer. (Still, 10 thousand hours is the goal.)
I am thankful for being invited to speak in schools and bookstores all through the country
Thinking about this makes me happy. I love to interact, talk and motivate people to follow their dreams. Whenever I talked about my great North American road trip I ended up overflowed with passion about living the dream. It is really cool to have kids inspired by your words and looking up to you.
I am thankful for having made it on a national magazine
I sent dozens of PR to journalists and none of them showed up, but I hustled my way and got Nuno Lobito, – a guy that was just in every single country in the world!! – to make the introduction of my book. This got some press there and I ended up having my name in print. It rocked!
I am thankful for being published on Vice and Thought Catalog
You already know this, but I am really proud of having my name is such great media sites.
I am thankful for Barcelona and my sister and her boyfriend there
It was the first time that I traveled with my little sister, her boyfriend ended up joining was which was super cool. It is always good to bond and travel with people that you love. (It was the first time that they stayed in a hostel, it was fun to see them all anxious and scared to end up with a bunch of drunken aussies in the dorm… there was nobody else)
I am thankful for my family
and that after another year we are still all together, everybody is healthy and having the same arguments about unimportant shit. No family is perfect, when I accepted that, my relationship with my parents and other relatives improved considerably.
I am thankful for Moscow
I never had Moscow on my list of “places to visit in 2015”, but when I had the chance to spend some days there, I couldn’t say no. The Russian capital was a surprise in itself, since I never thought that I would enjoy it so much. Not a backpacker friendly destination, but if you enjoy to loose yourself in a new city this is a great destination.
I am thankful for Thailand
Because it was almost perfect. I got cheap flights. Managed to find great deals in hostels and resorts. Met incredible people. Petted a tiger!!! Jumped out of a moving taxi, – that was scary. A lightning landed like a hundred meters away from where I was, – that was fucking scary, I jumped some 5 meters and crouched under a table in maybe… half a second. Was caught in the middle of a tropical storm while on a long tail boat. Had a fantastic 12 hour train ride from Bangkok to Chiang Mai for… 14$, first class, AC, reclining benches and 4 meals(!). Thailand is fucking cheap. Partied at the beach of Koh Phi Phi, the legendary party island. Thai people are incredibly generous, nice and egoless.
I am thankful for my dog, Sirius
Every year I like him more and more. I learn every single day with him about being present, happy and excited about now. He is the only true responsibility that I have and the only reason why I don’t turn into a permanent nomad. He is like my best friend, my son and my little brother combined in a furry baby bear that is always excited and happy.
I am thankful for every obstacle and opportunity that came my way
This past year it was all about acceptance. About what I do, about what other people do and accepting what happens to me. I quit the mentality that certain things things are good and some are bad, that some are welcome and others aren’t. This year I learn that every obstacle is in fact an opportunity and that crisis and hard times are a great chance to thrive and move faster.
If I used to go around obstacles and look for the easy way, right now I look ahead and if I don’t see an obstacle then I have to rethink that path. Whenever there is an obstacle that is my path, the bigger the better. (For further reading on this check Ryan Holiday’s book: The Obstacle is The Way.)
I am not a very reflective person by nature. I rarely stop and pat myself on the back for what I accomplished. I almost never take a few days off in a way to congratulate myself from whatever I checked from my mental list. What happens is that as soon as I end doing something, I will immediately pick another project and bust my ass off to make it happen.
And it is because of my frantic modus operandi that I purposefully decide to take 5 days to reflect and look back. The exercise that I practice is called VESPERS, I got it from my good friends and mentors Zan Perrion and Hans Comyn when I joined their men’s group, The Amorati. (If you are interested in knowing more email me).
Vespers is nothing more than to pause, look back on the day, week or year that passed and be aware of what you are thankful for.
Here I will share with you a great part of my year and for what I am thankful for:
I am thankful for Riga, Latvia and my first friend who got married
This was another wake up call that I am no longer a kid. The first friend that got married, holy fuck… a couple of weeks ago we were running at the school backyard chasing a ball and now he got married. That was incredible!
Being the lunatic that I am I got everybody on board of a plane to Riga to celebrate his bachelor life. We were there for 4 days. I don’t remember much, honestly. I got drunk Wednesday at dinner and it only stopped on Monday afternoon after sleeping for 10 hours. I didn’t have an hangover. Picture that… ahahaha
I am thankful for having being robbed
I already had learned that I could be happy without people I love, with giving everything away to accomplish a dream (got bankrupt, moved back to my parents house, etc), without traveling and without a cell phone.
I always say that I only need two things to live: my passport and my laptop. I got robbed and the guy got my Mac, my wallet and my house and car keys. I was left with barely nothing. For a couple of weeks I had to get back to my fat old laptop and write on Windows Vista, which was a pain in the ass. I still was able to finish work and get things going.
I believe that I can always learn from the worst that can happen. I no longer see any difference between what I do and what happens to me. I don’t blame the destiny, luck or God for whatever bad things can happen to me.
Turn shit into sugar and learn something from it. Always!
I am thankful for having my name on the cover of a book
I dreamt about that for 10 years. Enough said.
I am thankful for what I learned
As you know, I never studied as much as this year. From Alan Watts to Tim Ferriss, from Joseph Campbell and Jack Kerouac to Seth Godin and N. N. Taleb.
I am thankful for having focused on writing
If all my life I was defensive and anxious about my writing skills, this year it all vanished into smoke. I wrote consistently, at least, a thousand words per day. That makes around 365 thousand words. That’s 3 times more the amount of words that my book has. Right now I can value my writing and acknowledge my quality as a writer. (Still, 10 thousand hours is the goal.)
I am thankful for being invited to speak in schools and bookstores all through the country
Thinking about this makes me happy. I love to interact, talk and motivate people to follow their dreams. Whenever I talked about my great North American road trip I ended up overflowed with passion about living the dream. It is really cool to have kids inspired by your words and looking up to you.
I am thankful for having made it on a national magazine
I sent dozens of PR to journalists and none of them showed up, but I hustled my way and got Nuno Lobito, – a guy that was just in every single country in the world!! – to make the introduction of my book. This got some press there and I ended up having my name in print. It rocked!
I am thankful for being published on Vice and Thought Catalog
You already know this, but I am really proud of having my name is such great media sites.
I am thankful for Barcelona and my sister and her boyfriend there
It was the first time that I traveled with my little sister, her boyfriend ended up joining was which was super cool. It is always good to bond and travel with people that you love. (It was the first time that they stayed in a hostel, it was fun to see them all anxious and scared to end up with a bunch of drunken aussies in the dorm… there was nobody else)
I am thankful for my family
and that after another year we are still all together, everybody is healthy and having the same arguments about unimportant shit. No family is perfect, when I accepted that, my relationship with my parents and other relatives improved considerably.
I am thankful for Moscow
I never had Moscow on my list of “places to visit in 2015”, but when I had the chance to spend some days there, I couldn’t say no. The Russian capital was a surprise in itself, since I never thought that I would enjoy it so much. Not a backpacker friendly destination, but if you enjoy to loose yourself in a new city this is a great destination.
I am thankful for Thailand
Because it was almost perfect. I got cheap flights. Managed to find great deals in hostels and resorts. Met incredible people. Petted a tiger!!! Jumped out of a moving taxi, – that was scary. A lightning landed like a hundred meters away from where I was, – that was fucking scary, I jumped some 5 meters and crouched under a table in maybe… half a second. Was caught in the middle of a tropical storm while on a long tail boat. Had a fantastic 12 hour train ride from Bangkok to Chiang Mai for… 14$, first class, AC, reclining benches and 4 meals(!). Thailand is fucking cheap. Partied at the beach of Koh Phi Phi, the legendary party island. Thai people are incredibly generous, nice and egoless.
I am thankful for my dog, Sirius
Every year I like him more and more. I learn every single day with him about being present, happy and excited about now. He is the only true responsibility that I have and the only reason why I don’t turn into a permanent nomad. He is like my best friend, my son and my little brother combined in a furry baby bear that is always excited and happy.
I am thankful for every obstacle and opportunity that came my way
This past year it was all about acceptance. About what I do, about what other people do and accepting what happens to me. I quit the mentality that certain things things are good and some are bad, that some are welcome and others aren’t. This year I learn that every obstacle is in fact an opportunity and that crisis and hard times are a great chance to thrive and move faster.
If I used to go around obstacles and look for the easy way, right now I look ahead and if I don’t see an obstacle then I have to rethink that path. Whenever there is an obstacle that is my path, the bigger the better. (For further reading on this check Ryan Holiday’s book: The Obstacle is The Way.)
December 29, 2015
Are You Really The Average of Your 5 Friends
I am going to tell you a secret: I am not particularly good with people. I know, it is a bold statement. I know, most guys writing a blog about living a successful life would not admit it, but oh well… This is how I am.
Is not that I am not good at reading people, understanding them, figuring out their needs and desires, no, it’s none of the kind. I just get bored with most people after a couple of minutes. I don’t really have much patience or energy to listen to stories about how Mike said X about Stacy and then Brenda did Y to Mike’s sister who in turn…
I am sorry but my time is too precious for that. I had people saying that I am snobbish, – which was a huge surprise -, while others had told me that I distance myself from conversations. I admit that my tolerance with people is not very high, in fact if you fuck it up in our first conversation I will need to be really bored to come out and talk with you again.
My Good Ol’ Friends
For a long time I had an exception to the rule that was with my long time friends. These guys were my luff of fresh air and we would talk about football, girls and whatever conversation alcohol brought our way. But lately I’ve been finding myself more and more quiet. They go on talking about if Ronaldo is better than Messi or if Van Gall is an utter lunatic or a pure genius and I find myself doing it, I physically withdraw myself from the conversation.
The thing is I love to talk about my work, I love to talk about philosophy and subjects that challenge me. I have no problem in having a conversation with you about quantum mechanics even though I wasn’t able to finish Math on the 10th grade.
I don’t enjoy conversations that are just bullshit talking or nonsense and laughing really hard like we are retarded about something that is not even THAT funny. Of course that I also have my moments where I am out of control, but I wouldn’t describe it as my modus operandi.
I like to have talks about things that make me excited. My work excites me. I love to talk about writing, literature, complex philosophical shit, traveling, adventures, art, social dynamics, whatever gets me going. The difference is not so much about the topic at hand but mostly about the depth of the conversation.
Will I learn something? Will this add up to my life? Will I think about this tomorrow when I wake up?
If not, then I really don’t want to have it.
And this time, for the first time in my life, I decided to take away from my friends that carte blanche and I will go through 2016 as a period of my life in which I will redefine my social circle.
The Average of 5
Probably you already heard this somewhere. I don’t know who said it for the first time, but someone that lived in this planet once upon a time said it: “You are the average of the 5 people you spend most time with“.
But as any other motivational quote that you saw embedded in a sunset picture you shrugged your shoulders and kept scrolling down the Facebook feed. If this looks similar to what you did let me tell you a story:
In the Fall of 2013 myself and 3 other friends of mine did a legendary North American Road Trip, (you can read more here: 21 Surprising Lessons You’ll Learn On A Road Trip Through the US ). We drove from Boston to Los Angeles for 3 months and during that time I can guarantee you that every single one of us broke emotionally in more than one way.
I remember clearly the first time I broke. It was the first time that I had a panic attack in my life! We were in New Orleans and while I was writing an article on my Ipad I felt a sudden lack of air. I had to go outside. I run for the door and sat on the ledge of the sidewalk facing the parking lot. I hid myself between two cars, I had reached my breaking point. I felt like crying. “What the fuck?”, I thought “I never feel like crying, I don’t remember the last time I did it but, but…” I stayed there for a while, deep breathing and clearing my head.
It lasted for 30 minutes then I sat back and kept writing like nothing had happened. I was smiling and cracking jokes again. I was fine. I just needed to let all that accumulated energy to go.
Where There is Conflict There is Life
I cracked under pressure because for the last 2 months or so we were like contestants on a reality TV show. The only difference is that instead of being locked inside a house we were in a car. We argued, we left things unsaid because we couldn’t cope with the energy of another argument, we disagreed and accumulated frustrations along the way. We were eating fast food almost every single meal and sleeping on the floor of strangers living rooms were a constant.
At first you don’t feel it, but as the weeks go by tensions accumulate and that warm cozy comfort that you were used to seems more and more as an illusion from a distant past.
What is funny is that having spent 3 months with these guys I’ve never felt more challenged in my life. (I think that the fact that all of us are Life Coaches helps with the constant pushing of each other).
And still it was one of the periods of greatest conflict in my life: with myself, with others and with my circumstances. I don’t know if I was in fact the average of the 3 of us, but it is refreshing and exciting to being constantly put to the test. Of course it is annoying when you’re there, but after you think about it, it is in fact what friendship is for: to call out your friend’s bullshit without feelings getting hurt in the process.
A Final Word on Changing
Before you go around and cut contacts with every single person you ever had a conversation with, I don’t think that is the most enlightened thing to do. More often than not those people who decide to cut ties with the past in a radical way end up finding themselves were they were just a couple of months ago, doing the exact same things with the exact same people and end up feeling frustrated in the process.
What I believe you should do is exactly what I will be doing: be picky with the people you invite to hang out with you and don’t go out for drinks with someone you don’t feel good with just because you know each other for a long time. That’s a crappy argument. The incredible thing is that this changes with time: today you might feel perfectly fine with your social circle but in six months, or six years, you might find yourself looking in the mirror and asking your reflection: “Why the fuck do I spend time with those morons?”
This is one of those things that you need to re-evaluate every few months and change things around accordingly with that.
But if there is one piece of advice that I truly believe that you should take to heart that is: Hang around your heroes.
Identify them and become their friends. You will never grow up as much as when you are surrounded by people that push you to the higher version of yourself, constantly.
Is not that I am not good at reading people, understanding them, figuring out their needs and desires, no, it’s none of the kind. I just get bored with most people after a couple of minutes. I don’t really have much patience or energy to listen to stories about how Mike said X about Stacy and then Brenda did Y to Mike’s sister who in turn…
I am sorry but my time is too precious for that. I had people saying that I am snobbish, – which was a huge surprise -, while others had told me that I distance myself from conversations. I admit that my tolerance with people is not very high, in fact if you fuck it up in our first conversation I will need to be really bored to come out and talk with you again.
My Good Ol’ Friends
For a long time I had an exception to the rule that was with my long time friends. These guys were my luff of fresh air and we would talk about football, girls and whatever conversation alcohol brought our way. But lately I’ve been finding myself more and more quiet. They go on talking about if Ronaldo is better than Messi or if Van Gall is an utter lunatic or a pure genius and I find myself doing it, I physically withdraw myself from the conversation.
The thing is I love to talk about my work, I love to talk about philosophy and subjects that challenge me. I have no problem in having a conversation with you about quantum mechanics even though I wasn’t able to finish Math on the 10th grade.
I don’t enjoy conversations that are just bullshit talking or nonsense and laughing really hard like we are retarded about something that is not even THAT funny. Of course that I also have my moments where I am out of control, but I wouldn’t describe it as my modus operandi.
I like to have talks about things that make me excited. My work excites me. I love to talk about writing, literature, complex philosophical shit, traveling, adventures, art, social dynamics, whatever gets me going. The difference is not so much about the topic at hand but mostly about the depth of the conversation.
Will I learn something? Will this add up to my life? Will I think about this tomorrow when I wake up?
If not, then I really don’t want to have it.
And this time, for the first time in my life, I decided to take away from my friends that carte blanche and I will go through 2016 as a period of my life in which I will redefine my social circle.
The Average of 5
Probably you already heard this somewhere. I don’t know who said it for the first time, but someone that lived in this planet once upon a time said it: “You are the average of the 5 people you spend most time with“.
But as any other motivational quote that you saw embedded in a sunset picture you shrugged your shoulders and kept scrolling down the Facebook feed. If this looks similar to what you did let me tell you a story:
In the Fall of 2013 myself and 3 other friends of mine did a legendary North American Road Trip, (you can read more here: 21 Surprising Lessons You’ll Learn On A Road Trip Through the US ). We drove from Boston to Los Angeles for 3 months and during that time I can guarantee you that every single one of us broke emotionally in more than one way.
I remember clearly the first time I broke. It was the first time that I had a panic attack in my life! We were in New Orleans and while I was writing an article on my Ipad I felt a sudden lack of air. I had to go outside. I run for the door and sat on the ledge of the sidewalk facing the parking lot. I hid myself between two cars, I had reached my breaking point. I felt like crying. “What the fuck?”, I thought “I never feel like crying, I don’t remember the last time I did it but, but…” I stayed there for a while, deep breathing and clearing my head.
It lasted for 30 minutes then I sat back and kept writing like nothing had happened. I was smiling and cracking jokes again. I was fine. I just needed to let all that accumulated energy to go.
Where There is Conflict There is Life
I cracked under pressure because for the last 2 months or so we were like contestants on a reality TV show. The only difference is that instead of being locked inside a house we were in a car. We argued, we left things unsaid because we couldn’t cope with the energy of another argument, we disagreed and accumulated frustrations along the way. We were eating fast food almost every single meal and sleeping on the floor of strangers living rooms were a constant.
At first you don’t feel it, but as the weeks go by tensions accumulate and that warm cozy comfort that you were used to seems more and more as an illusion from a distant past.
What is funny is that having spent 3 months with these guys I’ve never felt more challenged in my life. (I think that the fact that all of us are Life Coaches helps with the constant pushing of each other).
And still it was one of the periods of greatest conflict in my life: with myself, with others and with my circumstances. I don’t know if I was in fact the average of the 3 of us, but it is refreshing and exciting to being constantly put to the test. Of course it is annoying when you’re there, but after you think about it, it is in fact what friendship is for: to call out your friend’s bullshit without feelings getting hurt in the process.
A Final Word on Changing
Before you go around and cut contacts with every single person you ever had a conversation with, I don’t think that is the most enlightened thing to do. More often than not those people who decide to cut ties with the past in a radical way end up finding themselves were they were just a couple of months ago, doing the exact same things with the exact same people and end up feeling frustrated in the process.
What I believe you should do is exactly what I will be doing: be picky with the people you invite to hang out with you and don’t go out for drinks with someone you don’t feel good with just because you know each other for a long time. That’s a crappy argument. The incredible thing is that this changes with time: today you might feel perfectly fine with your social circle but in six months, or six years, you might find yourself looking in the mirror and asking your reflection: “Why the fuck do I spend time with those morons?”
This is one of those things that you need to re-evaluate every few months and change things around accordingly with that.
But if there is one piece of advice that I truly believe that you should take to heart that is: Hang around your heroes.
Identify them and become their friends. You will never grow up as much as when you are surrounded by people that push you to the higher version of yourself, constantly.
December 18, 2015
Is Changing Your Life a Choice?
The most powerful attribute that somebody can have is the ability to trust in themselves and in what they want. Trust implies that you are open to change, that you are allowing yourself to know what you want but you are not holding on to that as a law carved in stone.
Trust is the opposite of having belief. Trust is the fundamental element to all of this. If you don’t trust yourself you will get back to your former path, you will return to the place where you began. And we don’t want that, do we?
Trusting yourself also means that you acknowledge that what you want is not influenced by the people around you. Again, friends, family members and coworkers all expect something from you. They created a certain image for yourself and in their view you should act accordingly. The good news is that you shouldn’t live up to anyone expectations of you.
That’s right, you have to be the judge of your own life and understand that you will piss some people off with your “new and crazy ideas”. I mean if you want to live a great life you will be misjudged and misunderstood. There is no other way around and your great battle is to not be influenced by it.
Whose life is it? Who will have great stories to tell their children and grandchildren. I mean, would you put such an heavy mortgage on your life just because of “their opinion”?
Excuse my language but honestly… fuck their opinion.
Once a great man told me something that I will never forget. We were talking about this same subject and he said to me: “Who are you or anybody else to judge me? Seriously, who are they to judge what you want? Do they have a Phd on your life? Did they received an award on how to live a great life? They have no fucking idea of what they are talking about, they are just entertaining themselves and you think that you should listen to those critics? Fuck them, seriously. The only person who should judge your life is you. Period.”
Yeah he was an intense kind of guy but he made his point clear. We don’t start living life on our terms because we are too afraid, we want to dress a certain way, behave in a certain way and be true to who we are but we throw all that to the side because of “their opinion”.
You have nobody else to blame and it is not society faults. It is yours. Like Frank Zappa said: “If you end up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.”
You can’t blame the man for speaking so clearly, can you?
No need for an argument, that only sucks up your energy and they won’t change their opinion anyway. Yeah sure, you are right. Shrug shoulders and keep moving forward. That’s the only way.
********
This article is a lesson from the “How To Find Your Purpose and Live a Good Life” ebook, that you can download free here: www.adventurousartist.com
Trust is the opposite of having belief. Trust is the fundamental element to all of this. If you don’t trust yourself you will get back to your former path, you will return to the place where you began. And we don’t want that, do we?
Trusting yourself also means that you acknowledge that what you want is not influenced by the people around you. Again, friends, family members and coworkers all expect something from you. They created a certain image for yourself and in their view you should act accordingly. The good news is that you shouldn’t live up to anyone expectations of you.
That’s right, you have to be the judge of your own life and understand that you will piss some people off with your “new and crazy ideas”. I mean if you want to live a great life you will be misjudged and misunderstood. There is no other way around and your great battle is to not be influenced by it.
Whose life is it? Who will have great stories to tell their children and grandchildren. I mean, would you put such an heavy mortgage on your life just because of “their opinion”?
Excuse my language but honestly… fuck their opinion.
Once a great man told me something that I will never forget. We were talking about this same subject and he said to me: “Who are you or anybody else to judge me? Seriously, who are they to judge what you want? Do they have a Phd on your life? Did they received an award on how to live a great life? They have no fucking idea of what they are talking about, they are just entertaining themselves and you think that you should listen to those critics? Fuck them, seriously. The only person who should judge your life is you. Period.”
Yeah he was an intense kind of guy but he made his point clear. We don’t start living life on our terms because we are too afraid, we want to dress a certain way, behave in a certain way and be true to who we are but we throw all that to the side because of “their opinion”.
You have nobody else to blame and it is not society faults. It is yours. Like Frank Zappa said: “If you end up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.”
You can’t blame the man for speaking so clearly, can you?
No need for an argument, that only sucks up your energy and they won’t change their opinion anyway. Yeah sure, you are right. Shrug shoulders and keep moving forward. That’s the only way.
********
This article is a lesson from the “How To Find Your Purpose and Live a Good Life” ebook, that you can download free here: www.adventurousartist.com
November 20, 2015
I Just Had a Life Changing Chat With a Buddhist Monk
If you have been following my writing for a while you will know that I am a spiritual person, but I do not believe in God, at least not in the “old man behind the clouds judging everything I do” kind of God.
I believe that we are God. Yes, I mean: you, me, the clouds, your cat and even the air that we are breathing. That is what God is for me: everything. Which I could say in a simpler way as: the universe.
Today I had a quite incredible experience with a buddhist monk. I am in Chiang Mai, a city in Northern Thailand that is full of temples. In some of these temples you can find novices and monks sat in the gardens waiting for you to come by and chat with them.
I couldn’t resist, I knew that I would enjoy the conversation but it was so more incredible than what I was expecting. We started talking about where I was from, what was I doing in Thailand and then I answered a couple of rehearsed questions by this young monk in his not so broken English.
After this initial “get confortable” conversations, so similar to the first few minutes of a date with a girl that you don’t know that well, I launched a couple of big questions that I really wanted to know his answer. Not because his answer would be THE answer, but I was deeply curious about the way he thought about some spiritual stuff that I am very interested about.
We talked about karma to which he said that karma is not the usual definition that we give to it: karma is simply your doing. From there we dived deep in the different schools of buddhism and about Gautama and many more stuff that is really fascinating for me but that you’re not that interested into.
But then I had to ask him the BIG question:
“What is God?” — I asked him slightly amused, smiling in challenge and joy.
He remained calm and serene. He simply said with the most natural voice that a human being can have:
“I know no God, I only know Dharma (Life).”
Boom! There, so simple, so easy and so clear.
The answer to every single question that a human being can ask another. I only know life, I am only interested in doing good, I only care about kindness.
This was already worth every single mile that I’d done to reach that temple. It was not really a surprise or that I’d heard something that I didn’t know already. But when you hear a truth as old asthe world and perhaps two seconds older than existence itself you can’t help but to feel in awe, shocked, electrified. You feel alive.
From there the conversation followed a more two humans talking about mundane stuff path. He liked Liverpool but he couldn’t play, — it is against his vows. He had a smartphone. He wanted to know more about my tattoo and I struggled for the first time in my life to come up with a good enough definition for “adventure”.
It was a really pleasant experience.
I have to say that the only thing I didn’t fully agree with him was about desire. To him to desire is a bad thing because you get attached to stuff, people and life and since we are all going to do die some day… to be attached is a source of pain. I do get it, I seriously do and I believe that if most people were less attached to stuff, people and life itself we all would live in a better world. But…
Isn’t to not desire… to desire (not to desire)? Isn’t to be totally unattached a way of being attached to your own condition? Doesn’t it all go together like their own wheel of Dharma with no beginning and no end?
A certain dose of attachment is needed, after all is what makes us humans and not golden buddha statues. Isn’t to be human a natural thing: to love, to desire, to remember and to feel slightly in pain because not so good things happen to us and to the people around us?
I think it is. But again I am not attempting to be saved or to reach a state of jivanmukhta. I am just a guy, like everybody else.
I believe that we are God. Yes, I mean: you, me, the clouds, your cat and even the air that we are breathing. That is what God is for me: everything. Which I could say in a simpler way as: the universe.
Today I had a quite incredible experience with a buddhist monk. I am in Chiang Mai, a city in Northern Thailand that is full of temples. In some of these temples you can find novices and monks sat in the gardens waiting for you to come by and chat with them.
I couldn’t resist, I knew that I would enjoy the conversation but it was so more incredible than what I was expecting. We started talking about where I was from, what was I doing in Thailand and then I answered a couple of rehearsed questions by this young monk in his not so broken English.
After this initial “get confortable” conversations, so similar to the first few minutes of a date with a girl that you don’t know that well, I launched a couple of big questions that I really wanted to know his answer. Not because his answer would be THE answer, but I was deeply curious about the way he thought about some spiritual stuff that I am very interested about.
We talked about karma to which he said that karma is not the usual definition that we give to it: karma is simply your doing. From there we dived deep in the different schools of buddhism and about Gautama and many more stuff that is really fascinating for me but that you’re not that interested into.
But then I had to ask him the BIG question:
“What is God?” — I asked him slightly amused, smiling in challenge and joy.
He remained calm and serene. He simply said with the most natural voice that a human being can have:
“I know no God, I only know Dharma (Life).”
Boom! There, so simple, so easy and so clear.
The answer to every single question that a human being can ask another. I only know life, I am only interested in doing good, I only care about kindness.
This was already worth every single mile that I’d done to reach that temple. It was not really a surprise or that I’d heard something that I didn’t know already. But when you hear a truth as old asthe world and perhaps two seconds older than existence itself you can’t help but to feel in awe, shocked, electrified. You feel alive.
From there the conversation followed a more two humans talking about mundane stuff path. He liked Liverpool but he couldn’t play, — it is against his vows. He had a smartphone. He wanted to know more about my tattoo and I struggled for the first time in my life to come up with a good enough definition for “adventure”.
It was a really pleasant experience.
I have to say that the only thing I didn’t fully agree with him was about desire. To him to desire is a bad thing because you get attached to stuff, people and life and since we are all going to do die some day… to be attached is a source of pain. I do get it, I seriously do and I believe that if most people were less attached to stuff, people and life itself we all would live in a better world. But…
Isn’t to not desire… to desire (not to desire)? Isn’t to be totally unattached a way of being attached to your own condition? Doesn’t it all go together like their own wheel of Dharma with no beginning and no end?
A certain dose of attachment is needed, after all is what makes us humans and not golden buddha statues. Isn’t to be human a natural thing: to love, to desire, to remember and to feel slightly in pain because not so good things happen to us and to the people around us?
I think it is. But again I am not attempting to be saved or to reach a state of jivanmukhta. I am just a guy, like everybody else.
November 8, 2015
Love Your Fate and Embrace Change: a primer on Zen Budhism and Stoicism
This week is #stoicweek a period of seven days that people who consider themselves stoics atributed to themselves. Even though I don’t consider myself a stoic per se I can see the value in the philosophy mostly by the westernized way of translating many similar concepts from Zen Budhism and Taoism.
There are two concepts, one from each philosophy, one from the West and the other from the East, that compliment each other perfectly and are both highly misunderstood.
First, amore fati. Sometimes sand his kick in our eyes and there isn’t much we can do. We are scammed, tricked or outmanouvered and before we realize it is too late. We are left in pain, discomfort, we outburst in anger and get stuck with that idea for weeks. We are unable to move on and the sole condition for this is because we resist it.
Of course that you don’t like to get dumped by your significant other, neither you like that some prick bumped in your car and got away before you could do anything… but honestly, can you do anything about it?
If you can’t, stop tricking yourself about it and move on. The moment that I accepted that my girlfriend had broken up with me was only when I realized that there wasn’t a thing that I could do. Nothing. The only thing I could do was to accept it.
Like if you are being washed away by the current of a river you don’t swim against it, you need to go with it until you can reach one of the shores.
Amore Fati is exactly that acceptance of your fate, actually is more than that it is LOVE for your fate, love whatever happens to you. That is the ultimate ground of being.
And let me present you a Eastern concept that you are well aware off but that you probably don’t know what it means:
Karma. Karma is not your good energy, is not a balance between sins and good deeds and it has nothing to do with the idea that if you do something good then good things will happen to you. Let me rephrase it:
Karma is what happens to you, it is the non-dual distinction that what happens to you and what you do are the same. Your actions are your karma. Simple.
Do you see the enormous potential contained in these two concepts: in one you love your faith, the things outside of your control, and in the other you realize that what happens to you and what you do are the same thing.
How can you be anxious about the future this way? How can you fumble through decisions and surprises coming in your way? You don’t, you can’t… You simply are, you are one with everything around you.
Have a good #stoicweek!
There are two concepts, one from each philosophy, one from the West and the other from the East, that compliment each other perfectly and are both highly misunderstood.
First, amore fati. Sometimes sand his kick in our eyes and there isn’t much we can do. We are scammed, tricked or outmanouvered and before we realize it is too late. We are left in pain, discomfort, we outburst in anger and get stuck with that idea for weeks. We are unable to move on and the sole condition for this is because we resist it.
Of course that you don’t like to get dumped by your significant other, neither you like that some prick bumped in your car and got away before you could do anything… but honestly, can you do anything about it?
If you can’t, stop tricking yourself about it and move on. The moment that I accepted that my girlfriend had broken up with me was only when I realized that there wasn’t a thing that I could do. Nothing. The only thing I could do was to accept it.
Like if you are being washed away by the current of a river you don’t swim against it, you need to go with it until you can reach one of the shores.
Amore Fati is exactly that acceptance of your fate, actually is more than that it is LOVE for your fate, love whatever happens to you. That is the ultimate ground of being.
And let me present you a Eastern concept that you are well aware off but that you probably don’t know what it means:
Karma. Karma is not your good energy, is not a balance between sins and good deeds and it has nothing to do with the idea that if you do something good then good things will happen to you. Let me rephrase it:
Karma is what happens to you, it is the non-dual distinction that what happens to you and what you do are the same. Your actions are your karma. Simple.
Do you see the enormous potential contained in these two concepts: in one you love your faith, the things outside of your control, and in the other you realize that what happens to you and what you do are the same thing.
How can you be anxious about the future this way? How can you fumble through decisions and surprises coming in your way? You don’t, you can’t… You simply are, you are one with everything around you.
Have a good #stoicweek!
November 5, 2015
Why You Should Take Advice With Caution
Like most people, when I was a boy and growing up I was constantly told to listen to their advice. They were older, more experienced and knew more than I did. It seemed legit. I wanted to say my opinion but the irrefutable argument of: listen to your elders, was stronger than any argument that I could come up with.
But a couple of months ago, while I was in the process of publishing my book, it seemed that everybody was a book publisher, adviser, consultant and none the less a prominent figure in the world of legit authority. Suddenly people who have never read a book in their life were giving me their opinion on their take of the story and how I should market it.
And then it dawned on me: What the f*ck do these people know about book publishing? That made me realize the following: Who the f*ck are these people to give me advice on life if they never been where I am?
From that moment on I decided that I would not take people’s advice. Yes, you read me right. I don’t take your advice, neither anybody’s else for the matter… unless I see you as a legit authority in a given field.
I mean if you are Alan Watts, or Joseph Campbell or the Dalai Lama then I will give you 110% of my attention. But if you are just someone who suddenly feels that I must listen to you, just because you are older than me, – event though by my age you had no clue of what you were doing, and you still don’t have. Then excuse me, but I won’t take it.
If you are a published author, a professional editor or an authority in writing. Yes, I will listen to you. But if you are just some friend of mine who spends 9 hours per day playing some online video game and suddenly you have an opinion on my writing style… Well, damn you and your opinion.
If you are Ramit Sethi, Gary Vaynerchuck, Ryan Holiday, Tim Ferriss or Chris Guillebeau then I will listen to you, take notes and follow you. Why? Because you are where I want to be. Simple.
I know that modesty and humbleness are extremely underestimated in our society. But there is a clear diference between being humble and bowing your head to anyone who gives you an opinion. I follow people who have been and are where I want to be, that achieved something that I desire or who see the world through a certain pair of lenses that I enjoy.
I know that everybody is a wise person and has a certain degree of experience in life, but the truth is that if you keep walking you will reach a point where by a much younger age you have done more, have more experience and more in field knowledge that 90% of people out there.
If you listen to Alan Watts’s lectures or Tim Ferriss’ podcast before going to sleep, why do you listen to somebody opinion as soon as you wake up?
Be balanced. Be wise. Listen carefully.
If your father was having an heart attack and I showed up trying to assist while I have no medical experience or knowledge would you take my advice? Hopefully not… You get my point.
But a couple of months ago, while I was in the process of publishing my book, it seemed that everybody was a book publisher, adviser, consultant and none the less a prominent figure in the world of legit authority. Suddenly people who have never read a book in their life were giving me their opinion on their take of the story and how I should market it.
And then it dawned on me: What the f*ck do these people know about book publishing? That made me realize the following: Who the f*ck are these people to give me advice on life if they never been where I am?
From that moment on I decided that I would not take people’s advice. Yes, you read me right. I don’t take your advice, neither anybody’s else for the matter… unless I see you as a legit authority in a given field.
I mean if you are Alan Watts, or Joseph Campbell or the Dalai Lama then I will give you 110% of my attention. But if you are just someone who suddenly feels that I must listen to you, just because you are older than me, – event though by my age you had no clue of what you were doing, and you still don’t have. Then excuse me, but I won’t take it.
If you are a published author, a professional editor or an authority in writing. Yes, I will listen to you. But if you are just some friend of mine who spends 9 hours per day playing some online video game and suddenly you have an opinion on my writing style… Well, damn you and your opinion.
If you are Ramit Sethi, Gary Vaynerchuck, Ryan Holiday, Tim Ferriss or Chris Guillebeau then I will listen to you, take notes and follow you. Why? Because you are where I want to be. Simple.
I know that modesty and humbleness are extremely underestimated in our society. But there is a clear diference between being humble and bowing your head to anyone who gives you an opinion. I follow people who have been and are where I want to be, that achieved something that I desire or who see the world through a certain pair of lenses that I enjoy.
I know that everybody is a wise person and has a certain degree of experience in life, but the truth is that if you keep walking you will reach a point where by a much younger age you have done more, have more experience and more in field knowledge that 90% of people out there.
If you listen to Alan Watts’s lectures or Tim Ferriss’ podcast before going to sleep, why do you listen to somebody opinion as soon as you wake up?
Be balanced. Be wise. Listen carefully.
If your father was having an heart attack and I showed up trying to assist while I have no medical experience or knowledge would you take my advice? Hopefully not… You get my point.
