Nancee Cain's Blog, page 10
July 31, 2016
BOOTY CAMP by Debra Anastasia
Check out Lauren Rosa from CherryRed’s Reads
GRELP review of Booty Camp Dating Service! Booty Camp Dating Service is 110% guaranteed to find you the love of your life! How can you pass that up? Men can pack an engagement ring and ladies can bring bridal magazines to the first date. We’re that sure!
And in the bedroom? Your Booty Camp Dating Service match will turn your fantasy into your everyday reality! Want to learn more about this fantastic dating service?
Stay tuned from more parody reviews from your favorite authors, readers and bloggers as we get closer to release day! (8/28/16)
Read all about it on August 28th, 2016 in the hilarious new book by #1 Amazon Humor Bestselling author Debra Anastasia.
Here are the links:
Pre-order Bootie Camp on iTunes here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/id1131251158
Sign up here for release notification for all other platforms (Amazon, B&N, etc): http://goo.gl/forms/OgNOAkhuF0ptp7Wi2
Add to goodreads here: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/30642708-bootie-camp
Website: http://www.debraanastasia.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/debra.anastasia
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/debra_anastasia/
Amazon: http://amzn.to/2ahrOg2
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Debra_Anastasia
Debra’s Gang: https://www.facebook.com/groups/528174067251908/
(****Booty Camp is NOT a real company! But the book is as real as the humor of one of my favorite all time authors, Debra Anastasia!*****)
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July 27, 2016
TEMPTING JO, Cover Reveal!
Forbidden love is hell…
Confident and quirky, Jo Sanford thinks her boss is God’s gift to women–and she couldn’t be further from the truth. Devilishly handsome, Luc DeVille will stop at nothing to lure his administrative assistant right into his arms–and bed.
Over Rafe Goodman’s dead body…
Rafe, Jo’s best friend, refuses to sit by and watch as Luc tries to win the heart of the woman he’s always protected. After all, Rafe is her guardian angel. Suddenly, Jo’s caught in the middle of a battle between good and evil. But the closer she gets to the fire, the hotter it burns. Now, Jo’s going to learn that when love battles lust, Heaven and Hell collide.
*********************************************************************
EXCERPT:
“Honey, this is all about you, and I’m worried. This guy is out of your league.”
“I knew it. You don’t think I’m good enough for him!” She grabs several outfits and marches to the dressing room.
I run in after her, causing a pandemonium of outraged screeching. This must be how dogs feel with those high-pitched whistles. One woman smacks me with a hanger as I run past her.
“You’re wrong, Jo. Like I told you, I think you’re much too good for him.”
Jo turns and her mouth drops open. “Get out! You can’t be in here.”
I push her into one of the dressing rooms and bolt the door behind us. She holds the clothes to her chest.
“He doesn’t deserve you.”
She swallows. “Th-Thank you. But again, I can handle this.”
Someone pounds on the door. “Sir, you need to leave,” an authoritative female voice commands.
Madge said I needed to break the rules. I’m off to a good start. Might as well finish with a bang. I grab Jo and stare into her eyes. I want to kiss some sense into her. Not that I have much sense to impart at the moment. My thoughts scramble as I gaze at her tempting mouth.
“Rafe—”
The pounding on the door intensifies. “Sir, security is on the way!”
Finally, I dig deep and find enough will power to take a step back. Or maybe I just wimp out. At this point I have no idea of the right thing to do.
“You’re incongruous,” Jo whispers breathlessly.
“Incongruous?”
She nods. “You know, bad beyond correction.”
I chuckle. “I think you mean incorrigible.” Though I feel a little incongruous as well…
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Enter the GIVEAWAY!
Tempting Jo will be available 9/15/16. This beautiful cover was designed by Coreen Montagna. You can add it to your To Be Read List on Goodreads.
You can find me here:
Website: www.nanceecain.com/
Blog: nanceecain.wordpress.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/NanceeCainAuthor/
FB Street team: https://www.facebook.com/groups/Cain.Raisers/
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Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/bhFwvD
Amazon: amazon.com/author/nanceecain
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July 20, 2016
A Walk Further into the Woods with Hans & Greta #ComedyBookWeek.
Welcome to #ComedyBookWeek, an annual, online celebration of humor in writing. Today I’m hosting one of my favorite authors, Nicki Elson, and her twisted fairy tale, HANS & GRETA. Yesterday at Feather Stone’s Romance Under Fire blog, Nicki took you by the hand and lead you into the forest with Hans and Liesel (bet ya thought I was gonna say Greta, huh?). Today she pulls you further in—if you dare…
Excerpt from HANS & GRETA by Nicki Elson
“Liesel! Darling!” Hans called into the trees a full hour later. He’d lagged too far behind and had caught nary a sign of her.
“It actually sounds as if you care.” Her sardonic voice had come from above.
Snapping his gaze skyward, he peered through the murky night and saw her perched on a high branch. “How in the hell did you get all the way up there?”
“I’m not sure, actually. Adrenalin, I guess.” She scanned the ground.
“You have no idea how to get down, do you?”
“It’s not that far. If you just stand right there.” She pointed directly below the tree.
“And catch you? I appreciate your confidence in my brute strength, but no matter how narrow your waistline, you’re not exactly a tiny little kitty ca—” His sentence was cut short by his own scream when the spiky tip of her high heel caught him in the forehead.
“What’s wrong, sweetums?” Liesel cooed with false innocence. “I was only trying to make myself lighter. Ready for the other one?”
He scowled at the threat but recollected himself. “For your own safety, I suppose you better drop it—gently—to the ground. Then you can use your feet for traction on the trunk. I’ll stand just underneath in case you slip.”
“My hero,” she drawled. Swinging her legs over the branch and around the trunk, she slowly inched her way down.
Hans stood dutifully below, holding his arms at the ready. When she was still several feet from the ground, a loud crack of snapping wood echoed through the forest, and she dropped onto him. The force knocked him off balance and they toppled to the ground in an awkward heap, his back slamming into the unyielding forest floor.
Liesel erupted with hysterical laughter while he held still, attempting to assess the impact of the fall on his spine. She spun around on top of him and kissed the tip of his nose. “That’s what you get for being such a wretched tease.” Sitting with her rump firmly planted on his chest, she opened her mouth wide in a yawn. “Enough fun for the night. Take me home.”
Determining that a few bruises were the extent of the damage, Hans slid his hands under his girlfriend and gently scootched her bottom to the forest floor. “About that,” he said, rising to stand and peering into the black night. “You took me on so many twists and turns, I have no idea where we are, and without the sun, I have no way to determine direction.”
“What are you saying?” Liesel asked. Any hint of mirth had drained from her voice. “Tell me you’re not suggesting we sleep here!”
“Do you have any other ideas?”
“How about we head back the way we came?” Picking up her shoes, she stepped off in a direction Hans was pretty sure was incorrect, but since he really had no idea, he followed her lead. Walking all night would at least be better than fighting off her advances until dawn.
Walk all night they did, with Liesel bitching through much of it while Hans bit his tongue. As the night drew on, she quieted, exhausted, and agreed to take a break. Hans sat with his back against a thick tree trunk and guided her to curl into his chest with his arms wrapped around her for a blanket. She fell asleep immediately and he soon followed. When they awoke, pale pink light showed through the branches. Hans noticed that the forest was much brighter just ahead, so he helped Liesel to her feet and grasped her hand, leading her to an illuminated clearing.
“How utterly charming,” she murmured in a voice that sounded like it was still dreaming.
Hans couldn’t disagree. Before them lay a hilly expanse carpeted with bright green grass. Butterflies dipped and scurried among the patches of blooms randomly scattered about, and even the fat bumblebees looked friendly. A small chicken coop stood aside a flourishing garden in one corner of the yard, and a darling cottage was plopped in the center of the meadow. Everything about the house was delightful, from its thatched roof to the cobblestone path leading up to it.
Liesel ambled forward. “I’d swear it’s made of gingerbread.”
HANS & GRETA is available at Amazon
Free to read in Kindle Unlimited, and only .99 to purchase!
Learn more about Nicki’s books at nickielson.com
Leave a comment for a chance to win a Kindle copy of HANS & GRETA!
July 11, 2016
Cover Reveal! S.M. Lumetta’s YOU ARE HERE
I am thrilled to be part of this cover reveal! S.M. Lumetta is more than a talented writer and friend. She’s also a fantastic graphic artist. She designed my logo for my author page and social media and has done many book covers. I think this may be her best work yet. Look at this gorgeous cover of her exciting new novel, You Are Here.
BLURB:
Lucie Gideon wakes up in a hospital, alone. Her family is dead and her home is gone, but she can’t remember a thing. She soon discovers, however, she can glimpse the future, and everything she sees seems to revolve around a mysterious man she’s never met.
Greyson Ellicott hasn’t been a part of normal society in a decade. As a contract killer, he’s learned to deaden himself so he doesn’t have to think or feel for anything or anyone. His carefully buried memory cracks open and reminds him of what he left behind.
When Lucie and Greyson meet head-on, destinies collide. Grey doesn’t want to care about—let alone fall in love with—the crazy girl who has visions of him, but she’s in the crosshairs of a murderer and he may be the only one who can save her.
Releases August 29th, 2016
PRE-ORDER LINKS
US: http://amzn.to/29pv30M
CA: http://amzn.to/29tJDaY
AU: https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B01I5LOSXK
UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01I5LOSXK
iBooks: http://apple.co/29xSMRh
Kobo: http://bit.ly/29xY1h1
Nook: coming soon
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S.M. Lumetta is also a contributing author to the ground breaking novel:
Felony Ever After —A DOMINO Anthology: 13 Authors ONE story
Verity Michaels is new to New York City, but even she knows riding in a stolen cab is not a normal way to meet someone. Damn it if that tattoo-covered would-be felon isn’t everywhere now, and lighting everything on fire under her skirt.
His name is Hudson Fenn, and he’s frustratingly impossible to pin down. He works as a bike messenger, but has the manners of a prince—along with a strange tendency toward breaking and entering. As much as Verity knows he’s not her type, and likely to land her in jail, she can’t help but find her truest self when they’re together.
Can she be brave enough to give Hudson a real chance? Will he be bold enough to reveal the man beneath the ink, or will his secrecy doom their connection? Also, WTF is the deal with Verity’s boss? No less than thirteen of your favorite romance writers have teamed up to tell this sexy, wacky, snort-inducing tale. With them you’ll visit the world’s most irritating office, a VIP room of questionable cleanliness, and the fanciest apartment a bike messenger has ever inhabited, but you’ll still never see this ending coming.
To learn more about S.M. Lumetta, you can find her here:
https://www.facebook.com/SMLumetta/
https://www.instagram.com/smlumetta/https://twitter.com/smlumetta
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June 25, 2016
Beneath an Ivy Moon by Ellen Dugan
It’s live! The fourth book in Ellen Dugan’s Legacy of Magick Series is the much awaited story of Ivy Bishop. Readers have been begging for this story and it won’t disappoint!
Fan favorite Ivy Bishop takes center stage in this newest volume of the Legacy Of Magick Series. Sure, Ivy Bishop’s life is a little unusual… The gothic-fabulous and youngest female Witch in her family line is now a full time college student starting her Junior year. Living on campus, Ivy and her BFF, Cypress are residents in the 160 year old Crowly Hall. The dormitory that the locals swear is haunted. When the school newspaper assigns Ivy to photograph the expansion of the new University Museum, Ivy is on hand when human remains are uncovered within an old stone foundation. Construction comes to a screeching halt as first the police, and then archeologists descend on the site. Whatever they dug up has apparently opened a supernatural can of worms. Life at the dorm goes from mundane to eerie. And when a Witch thinks things are eerie— you know that’s bad. Ghostly sightings at Crowly Hall, bizarre paranormal activity, and a series of accidents at the dig site, are only the beginning. After an unknown entity appears and warns of calamity, Ivy realizes that she must rely on her intuition and the legacy of magick. Trying to solve the mystery of who the entity was in life, may very well put herself and her friends in danger. Digging into the history of William’s Ford could prove to be hazardous— especially for Witches.
About the author:
Ellen Dugan is the award winning author of 17 non-fiction titles, and 4 novels. Known as the “Garden Witch”, she is a psychic-clairvoyant, and has been a practicing Witch for over thirty years. Well known for her candor and humor, she is also a Master Gardener. Ellen teaches classes on Witchery, Psychic Protection, and Magick.
In 2015 she successfully branched out into paranormal fiction with her first series Legacy Of Magick.
BUY LINKS for this amazing series: Free on KU!
Legacy of Magick, (Legacy of Magick Series, Book 1)
Secret of the Rose, (Legacy of Magick Series, Book 2)
Message of the Crow, (Legacy of Magick Series, Book 3)
Beneath an Ivy Moon, (Legacy of Magick Series, Book 4)
June 15, 2016
Release Day, When It Hooks You by Nicki Elson!
I am excited beyond words to have Nicki Elson stop by to discuss a subject dear to my heart. Don’t get me wrong, I love bad boys. I fell for one hard the night I met him. With his motorcycle, long hair, and ability to bench press like a competition weight-lifter, he was my Dad’s worst nightmare. But as I got to know my future husband, I realized t he was a truly great guy. And a NICE guy. While he still doesn’t put up with BS, he’s loving, kind and funny. In other words, a keeper! So… I’m very excited about Nicki Elson’s new book, WHEN IT HOOKS YOU. Take it away, Nicki!
Crimes against Romance
Thanks for having me over, Nancee, to share a bit about my new release. WHEN IT HOOKS YOU. You’re so wonderfully supportive, and I’m grateful we met during our adventures in publishing.
I love to write love stories, but sometimes I feel like I’m breaking “the rules” of romance. Like, isn’t the romance supposed to be introduced in the first chapter? Is it okay to make readers wait until, say, the fourth chapter to meet the male lead? Y’see, my girl Trish has some whacked out rules for dating, and I want you to be able to arrive at those rules along with her. After that, we’ve got to have a little bit of fun watching her struggle to implement them, am I right?
I also know romance readers love ‘em some alpha male—but is there room in their hearts for a beta? A man doesn’t have to be a brute to be strong. And isn’t there something kinda cute about a shy guy? One who’s not afraid to let the lady take the reins?
Since Nancee has so sweetly opened her blog door to me, I won’t make you wait to meet my beta guy. Here’s an excerpt from his first encounter with Trish.
Links:
Nicki’s Website – Spicy fiction with a sweet and dreamy center
Excerpt from Chapter 4 – WHEN IT HOOKS YOU
As Trish approached the hand dryer in the office bathroom, she heard the faint tones of “I’m Shipping Up to Boston” floating in from the lobby. She’d left her phone at her desk and now rushed to answer before the song stopped playing. It was her new ringtone for Lyssa.
“Hey,” she said, somewhat breathless.
“Hi. Sorry. Hope it’s okay to call. This was too complex for text.”
Trish flicked her eyes around the reception area and saw she was alone. “Now’s fine as long as you’re fast. I’m expecting a client at any moment.”
“Great. I’m packing my entire life and getting rid of what I can. A truck from the church rummage sale is stopping by at six to collect donations. Before I give it all to them, I was wondering if you’d want…” She went on to list various pieces of small furniture and accessories, only a few of which Trish said she’d take.
They got through the list quickly, and the client still hadn’t arrived, so Trish figured it was safe to chat until the elevator dinged. “I’ve cracked the code on my guy troubles.” She’d kept Lyssa apprised of her latest revirgination disasters. “I don’t tell the guy anything. He doesn’t need to know I’ve set a three-date maximum. We go out one, two, or three times, and if he tries to get in touch after the third, I blow him off. Easy peasy. This way we don’t waste any valuable date time haggling over my neuroses.”
“Plus you’ll leave the door open for a fourth date if he’s worth it.”
“No, no, no! Absolutely no more fourth dates for me.”
“Have you cracked the code on the sex thing?”
“I’m still not planning to sleep with any of them, if that’s what you mean. But I did crack the seal on a new toy from The Pleasure Chest last night. It has this add-on that gets right up in—” She halted when a noise sounded from behind the tall bush between her desk and the elevator. When she continued, her voice took on a warning tone. “I’ve gotta go. Unless the plant in my office has grown a throat and just cleared it, I’ve got an eavesdropper.”
From behind the highest frond, a man’s head emerged. His dark blond hair was straight and mostly swept back from his elegant, handsome face. As he leaned forward, a stray wisp fell over his forehead. Trish didn’t recognize his long, angular features. She guessed him to be in his mid-thirties at the oldest and noted a touch of suntan to his mid-tone complexion. His tall, lean form moved around the plant with his arms bent and hands half raised in surrender.
“Talk to you later.” Trish clicked off the phone, keeping her gaze locked on the new arrival.
“I’m sorry. It’s my first time in the Chicago office.” The boldness of his rich, plummy voice was surprising against his abashed demeanor. “When I saw the reception area was vacant, I went back to the elevator to make sure I had the right floor. You surprised me with the phone. I heard you say you’d be quick, so rather than interrupt, I intended to wait until you finished. Then…”
His eyes darted away and Trish’s face warmed at remembering exactly when he’d cut her off. She’d initially assumed the throat-clearing had come from Levi or one of the building maintenance guys she often joked with. That would’ve been something to laugh at. Talking about shoving things into her naughty bits in front of a client she’d never met before, however, was nothing short of mortifying.
She pulled on the most self-assured expression she could muster. “I’ll let them know you’re here.” Pressing the line of Michael Gutierrez, one of the partners, she announced. “Mr. Helms has arrived.” After getting instructions and hanging up, she forced herself to look the client straight in the eye. “Someone will be here to bring you back in a few minutes. Please have a seat while you wait.” She gestured toward the couches by the window. “Can I get you something to drink? Water or coffee?”
“No, thank you.” He stayed where he was, not making a move toward the couches. His gaze fixed on her desktop. By the way the fingertips of one of his hands tapped against his thumb, she gathered he had something more to say to her.
She preempted him. “I’m sorry for what you overheard. It was unprofessional of me to have a conversation like that at the office. It won’t happen again, Mr. Helms.”
He lifted his eyes and she saw they were a light golden color with touches of green—or was that the hue of his suit reflected off them?
“I’m the only one who need apologize,” he said. “I should’ve made my presence known sooner. I’m sorry to have caused you embarrassment.”
She arched an eyebrow. “So you’re not going to rat me out to my bosses?”
His lips twitched into a small smile. “It stays between you, me, and whoever was on the other side of the phone.”
She smiled in response, inciting his grin to grow larger. She wasn’t sure if it was because of her relief or the sudden warmth of his expression, but she felt drawn to the alluring man in front of her. There was something old school about his slimness and height, his crisp suit, and the formal way he talked. Yet the wisp of hair that he hadn’t yet smoothed back revealed an impish, less polished side to him.
“Please, call me Adam,” he said.
“I’m Trish Cerise.” She stood and reached across her desk. It wasn’t until he took her hand that she remembered her rush to answer the phone. Swiftly pulling back, she explained, “My hands aren’t usually this damp. I hadn’t finished in the bathroom. Oh! Not like that. I meant I hadn’t finished washing my hands. No! I’d finished washing, just not drying them and…” She sank into her chair and fisted her offending hand in her lap. “I’m going to stop making words come out of my mouth now.”
“And deny me the best entertainment I’ve had in weeks?”
She laughed, caught in Adam’s amused gaze. She realized now that it was the intensity behind his eyes that pulled her in, making her more intrigued by him than their brief conversation should warrant.
May 29, 2016
Memorial Day Facebook Hop
Welcome to the Memorial Day Facebook Hop,
hosted by Love Kissed Book Bargains!
With tons of prizes from almost 100 authors and bloggers, including Amazon gift cards, it’s a great way to spend Memorial Day!
Don’t miss out! Visit one, or all to participate. Easy entries.
Meet some new authors! Discover some awesome blogs.
Most of all…have fun!
The Memorial Day Hop starts here:
May 23, 2016
Mental Health Awareness – Recommendation from the Nerds
You may have seen the social media posts circulating this month around mental health awareness and we at Scandalicious always try to do our small part to help spread awareness to our readers.
Source: Mental Health Awareness – Recommendation from the Nerds
May 17, 2016
COVER REVEAL: J.T. Cheyanne’s Collateral Damage
I’m pleased to be part of my good friend, J.T. Cheyanne’s cover reveal for her new novel, Collateral Damage! This beautiful cover comes from the talented Tracey Weston.
Blurb:
Fleeing the questions and horrific memories in Miami-Dade, Trevor Garrett accepts a deputy position in the small town of Rolling Fork, Mississippi. Plagued by anxiety attacks and an abhorrence to being touched, Trevor rebuffs his best friend’s attempts to set him up. He has no desire for any type of relationship; until the local golden boy strolls into his line of sight at the neighborhood dive…
Logan Andrews just wants to take care of his mama. After years of serving his country in the Army Special Forces, Logan resigns when he learns his mother is suffering from advanced stages of Alzheimer’s disease. A night out with old friends turns heated when the newest deputy in town catches his attention…
When a sexually deviant killer sets his sights on the gay men in the area, Trevor is assigned the case. In a wicked twist, all evidence points to Logan. Can Trevor’s past be repeating itself? In a race against a killer, Trevor struggles to overcome his own insecurities and clear the man whose touch sets him on fire. Will he succeed or will their budding relationship become Collateral Damage?
PRE-SALE ORDER LINK: https://www.amazon.com/Collateral-Damage-J-T-Cheyanne-ebook/dp/B01FRM38RW
For more information:
Facebook Author Pages: https://www.facebook.com/LazLachibooks/ and https://www.facebook.com/jtcheyannestories/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/JTCheyanne
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6534660.J_T_Cheyanne
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/J.T.-Cheyanne/e/B009RBE4A0/
April 24, 2016
Bonus Scene for Saving Evangeline
“I’m hot.” I have the window down because Remi’s smoking. I glance in the side mirror, disheartened. My hair looks like I styled it with an eggbeater.
“Quit nagging, Evangeline. And if you’d roll up the window, the air conditioner would work better.”
“Well quit smoking.”
“I’ll quit when you stop griping. Since I know that isn’t going to
happen, I probably need to pick up a carton when we get gas.”
“Maybe you should pray about it,” I snipe back. “Can we please stop and stretch our legs? If I don’t get out of this car for a few minutes I’m going to go to jail for murder.”
“Orange isn’t your color, Crazy Girl.”
“Well at least get back on the interstate, I’m sick of small towns, Father.”
“Fine, if it’ll shut you up.”
He does a U-turn and immediately blue lights flicker behind us. Dumbass. He’s done an illegal turn in front of on an unmarked police car.
“Leave me the keys when they haul your ass to jail. You’ll probably look great in orange,” I quip with a smug smile.
“No one’s going to jail. It might help if you’d start crying.”
“What?”
“Cry,” he hisses. “You know, sob, wail, blubber or weep. You should be a pro at it by now.”
“I know what the word means, asshole.” Although I’ve cried way too many times in front of this priest, for the life of me, I can’t summon the tears. I find the entire situation hysterically funny.
He runs a finger around his collar and sweat beads his brow. Hiding my laughter in my hands, I peek through my fingers, not wanting to miss this for anything. Let’s see how the glib Father talks his way out of this one.
The officer peers in the car, and his eyebrows lift at the sight of Remi’s collar. “Uh, sorry, Father. You just did an illegal U-turn.”
“I did, didn’t I? I’m sorry. I wasn’t paying attention because I was comforting this distraught young lady.”
Lady? My shoulders shake with my repressed laughter. He pats me on the back more forcefully than I think necessary.
“There, there, Evie. Don’t worry. The officer is just doing his job.” He hands his license through the window. I snort and hiccup trying to contain my giggles. Reaching for the registration and proof of insurance, Remi pinches my leg, making me yelp.
“Everything all right, miss?”
Keeping my face covered, I shake my head. If he sees my face, I’ll be busted for lying. I suck at poker.
“This poor child has led a sinful life and is full of repentance. I, uh, saw the sign over there and thought we’d give it a try. My way doesn’t seem to be working, bless her heart.”
Oh no, he didn’t. Every Southerner knows the phrase bless her heart is always offered with a healthy side of sarcasm.
The officer glances behind him. “It’s a non-denominational church, not Catholic, Father. You need to go about thirty miles up the road to find your kind.”
“My kind? Would you like to discuss the theology of forgiveness, son?”
Remi’s condescending tone sends me over the edge. Real tears now streak down my face as I bite my lip to the point of pain trying to control my laughter.
“No, sir, but—”
“You’re concerned about a U-turn. I’m concerned about the direction this poor unfortunate’s soul is taking.” Remi leans out the window and stage whispers, “If we don’t get her some help now, she may very well spend all of eternity at a permanent barbeque, if you know what I mean. Do you want that on your conscience?”
I hunch over and scream with laughter.
The poor cop jumps back at least six feet. “Dear Lord above, does she need an exorcism?”
“She might, you volunteering to help?”
“No sir, I’m Baptist. Y’all go on now.”
“Thank you. I’ll say an extra novena for you.” He rolls up the window and waves as the cop drives past.
I’m laughing so hard my side hurts. “You’re going to hell.”
“Nah, I’m not leaving without you.”
He takes my hand in his and gives it a gentle squeeze. At this moment I’d follow him to hell gladly. I can’t imagine my life without him. To my surprise he pulls into the parking lot of the non-denominational church.
“What are you doing?”
He points at the sign. Drive thru prayer.
“You’re joking, right?”
“You wouldn’t want me to bear the sin of lying would you?”
“You just said that stuff to get out of a ticket.”
“Tell me something. Where will you spend eternity?”
I roll my eyes. “In the dirt, rotting. Or hell.”
He sighs and taps the steering wheel with his thumbs. “Maybe this will convince you otherwise. It appears open and no waiting. Let’s go. Besides, they offer a free carwash with every prayer, too.”
He drives up to a window that looks like a bank teller. A young man looks up from his Bible and smiles.
“Well hello, uh, Father, sir.”
“Just Remi is fine. We’re all in this together, right?”
“I guess so?” The guy looks to be my age or younger. “My name is John. What can I do for y’all? Do you have a specific prayer request?”
“Well John, you look like you have a good head on your shoulders.” Remi snickers at his own joke while poor guy’s eyes practically bug out of his head. “I’d like to order a prayer for salvation, to go.”
“A prayer for salvation to go?”
“That’s what I said. Can we get super fast delivery? She’s on the fast track to hell. Just ask her.”
I punch him in the arm.
“Ow. She’s violent, too. Did you see that? Better make it a double, John.” He grins. “I’d ask for a side of fries, but that’s what we’re trying to avoid. She thinks she’s gonna be a crispy critter.”
John leans forward, hands on the glass and looks all around us. “Am I being punked?”
An older gentleman steps into the booth. I have to wonder if John pressed some sort of emergency prayer button or something for back up.
“Punked?” Remi turns to me. “What’s that mean?” he whispers.
“He thinks you’re playing a trick on him,” I gasp between giggles.
“Father.” The gray haired man greets him. “I’m Brother Forsythe, the pastor here, can I help you?”
I laugh and motion Remi to drive off. “Just go, we need to get out of here.”
“No, we came for prayer, so prayer we’re gonna get,” Remi insists.
The minister frowns, and his white bushy brows knit together. “Sir, is this some sort of hazing prank? If it is, you need to just move along. We take the Lord very seriously here.”
“Oh I’m sure you do.” Remi nods with a smug smirk. “But trust me, Bubba; no one has a better sense of humor than The Boss.”
The younger guy smirks as the pastor gasps his outrage.
Remi leans toward the window. “I mean think about it. Look at the poor platypus and aardvark. What’s up with them?”
“Son, I think you two need to move on.”
“Let me get this straight, I’ve gone from Father, to sir, to son. Are you refusing to serve us?”
“I don’t appreciate mockery of my religion or foolishness,” the pastor huffs.
“Words from the mouth of the wise are gracious, but fools are consumed by their own lips. See? We’re on the same page, Brother. Except I don’t think you’re being very gracious. We’ll leave, but I want my free carwash.”
The poor man looks ready to stroke. John grins and the drawer opens with a token, which Remi palms. He offers a quick blessing and makes the sign of the cross. By the time we pull away, John is fanning Brother Forsythe.
I finally let loose laughing. “I don’t think I’m the one going to hell.”
He grins. “Me either. Luc wouldn’t put up with your woe-is-me bullshit and he certainly doesn’t want that sanctimonious poop. Let’s get this free car wash. We earned it listening to that pompous guy. Besides, they’re fun.”
“You’re so silly.” I can’t stop grinning. I realize I’m enjoying myself. Life has certainly been less gloomy since I met the sexy priest.
A few blocks away we find Carl’s Christian Carwash: Where Cleanliness is Next to Godliness.
“Look at that!” Remi points to the colored suds on the windshield, but I’m looking at him. He stares at me, and I’m mesmerized by the flickering flames in his pupils. The air in the car sizzles with a sexual awareness that’s undeniable.
“Evangeline…” His breathing sounds harsh and the longing I feel is mirrored in his face.
“I want to consume your foolish lips, Father,” I whisper, tracing the outline of his mouth with my thumb.
He smiles and leans toward me. “I graciously accept.” My breath catches. It’s finally happening, what I’ve daydreamed about since meeting this man. His lips tentatively explore mine and then take what I freely give.
It’s the kiss to end all kisses, a toe curling, breath stealing, soul consuming kiss. I’ve wanted this and anticipated it more then a five-year-old waiting on Santa to visit. It’s even better than my dreams, a deep connection that rocks me to the center of my being. He’s my missing heart.
He sighs. I pull away as the enormity of what we’ve done crashes around us. Reality sucks. I can’t have him. “Damn you,” I whisper.
I look into his eyes and see pain mixed with desire. “Probably so.” He brushes my cheek with the back of his fingers. “But worth it.” He kisses me again, softer, gentler and whispers, “This is why you have to stick around, Crazy Girl. You’re mine for eternity, no matter what happens. Trust me.”
The car jolts and sunshine pours through the now sparkling windshield. The mood dissipates, but my happiness remains. For in this one stolen moment of happiness, I’ve found hope for the future. Just like a kid on Christmas Eve…
© 2016 Nancee Cain
If you’d like to view the book trailer for Saving Evangeline, please click this link:
https://studio.stupeflix.com/v/cJDX4GMGQjQc/
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I consider myself a reader first, writer second. I’m still pinching myself to see if I’m dreaming. I want to thank all of you for your encouragement and support. Coming soon, Tempting Jo! This will be Rafe’s story.
xoxoxox
Nancee
*´¨✫)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨)✯ ¸.•*¨)
✮ (¸.•´✶ (¸.•`SAVING EVANGELINE
She’s hell bent on ending her life; he’s heaven sent to save her. But, there’s a catch. God’s rogue angel must complete the task disguised as a priest. A forbidden passion ignites, love unfolds and meddlesome angels from above attempt to intervene. Will Remiel’s love save Evangeline or cause them both to be lost forever?
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