L.J. Higgins's Blog, page 19

A Special Day

A sharp sound rings through the room waking me from my deep sleep forcing me to peel open my eyes. Reaching across to my bedside table I fumble for a moment before finding the off button on my alarm. Immediately my stomach begins churning and I sit up rubbing it softly. I slide on my bathrobe and slippers that have been placed neatly on my dressing table and make my way out into the kitchen. Karly and Jas’s eyes light up as I enter the room, their faces look much fresher than mine feels. They squeal with excitement and I can’t help but smile along with them. Karly hands me a warm coffee and we sit down together at the marbled breakfast bench for a breakfast of bacon and eggs.

“I can’t believe today is finally happening!” Cries out Jas unable to contain her excitement.

My stomach gurgles at odds with my permanent smile. Is it nerves or the delicious smell rising from my plate that has my body in such a confused state?

“Are you ready for this?” Karly mouth is half full but she swallows down her breakfast with a glass of juice.

I breathe in deeply allowing the food to fill the areas in my stomach that had been uneasy, “I couldn’t be more ready.”

I have waited years for today. I’d begun to lose hope that it would never be possible. But here I sit with my best friend and sister, starting the day that would be one of the most important days of my life.

After breakfast I change into a baggy shirt and track pants before piling into Karly’s blue Kia Rio and we leave for the hairdressers.

~

They fuss over us for hours, making sure our hair and makeup are perfect. Nerves twitch in my belly again challenging my rising excitement. Looking at my final reflection in the mirror I am amazed with what I see. My makeup and hair are flawless. I feel amazing and I have my two favourite people by my side.

Tears dance in my dark green eyes and my thoughts are interrupted by Karly fanning my face with a magazine, “Don’t ruin your makeup!”

A loud swallow pushes the tears away and Jas hands me a glass of bubbly to fight off the last of my nerves as we leave for the motel room where my mother and my dress await me.

~

Karly and Jas step into their soft yellow floor length gowns. They look gorgeous and tears threaten my makeup once again. I am so blessed to have these two amazing ladies by my side. Karly my best friend, who has always been there for me and is continuously encouraging me to be the best person I can be. And my beautiful sister Jas, who has supported me through so much. Noticing my watery eyes they both step forward embracing me in a three way hug.

“Your turn! I can’t wait to see your dress!” Says Karly, her eyes glassy.

Upstairs my mother helps me step into my white gown. She slides it up over my chest and slides the zip up along my spine before pulling my straps tight. They crisscross down towards my lower back where she ties it into a simple bow. Tugging the skirt down to make it sit properly I turn to look in the mirror. The person staring back resembles me, but only just with this stunning dress, perfect hair and make up. It is everything I have ever dreamt of, the strapless top that fits neatly around my chest and waist then tapers off into a flow of white material and lace towards the floor. Behind my reflection I catch my mother dabbing at her eyes with a tissue and I turn towards her.

“You look beautiful sweetheart.”

I embraced her in a tight hug. She has always been my number one fan, I have the most understanding and caring mother in the world. She lets me go and I stand back to look at myself one last time. Here I am in the wedding dress I have always dreamt of ready to marry the love of my life. Never in my wildest dreams did I believe this day would come. But here I am, ready to leave this room and become someone’s wife.

As I walk through the doorway Karly pulls a tissue from her bag and Jas’s mouth falls open and they both approach me for one last hug. I flap my hand at my face to dry the tears that are once again threatening to ruin my makeup. We are interrupted by a polite knock on the door. Karly, Jas and Mum in tow I pull it slowly open. My dad holds his arms out to take in the picture of his only daughter in her gown, storying it in his memory forever.

“You look stunning sweetheart.” He takes my hand, kisses me lightly on the cheek, and leads me to one of two old style cars waiting outside.

 

The drive feels as though time is standing still as I wait with great anticipation to arrive at the gardens. Images emerge in my mind of when we first met, our first date and our first kiss. All of these moments over many years, leading to this special day. We pull into the parking lot and the small crowd of guests shift excitedly, wanting to be the first to catch sight of the bride. Dad helps me out of the car and I draw in a deep breath, tugging my dress back down into position. Jas and Karly help smooth it out and hand me my bouquet of lilies and baby’s breath. ‘From this moment’ begins to play and Karly gives me a reassuring smile before walking towards the isle, a row of white petals have been scattered along each side. A few moments later she is followed by Jas and I link my right arm with mums, and my left with dads before making my way towards the isle.

The petals lead along the lush green grass towards the white timber arch decorated in tulle and silk ribbon. Each row of chairs holds family members or friends who love and support me and as I look down the aisle the person who loves and understands more than anyone else in the entire world stares back with a look of pure joy on their face. My grin grows as I approach, as though my mouth has a mind entirely of its own. Soon I am at the end of the aisle, mum and dad give me a soft kiss before taking their seats and I turn to face my loved ones.

“Love. It is a universal feeling that connects all humans across the world. From the moment we are born we are taught to love and we spend our entire lives trying to find it and keep it. Love binds two individuals and makes them as one, enriching the lives of all of those who are witness to it. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, a bond that joins two people for better or for worse. We are gathered here today for the much anticipated wedding of Stacey and Devin. Please face each other.”

We both turn our eyes locking together full of love and happiness. We take each other’s hands softly and I take a deep breath that reverberates around my whole body.

“Do you Devin take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do,” I say it clearly and with conviction so there is no doubt in anyone’s minds.

“Do you Stacey take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do.” Her smile reflects my own and I could not be happier that I am finally able to marry my best friend and soul mate.

“I now pronounce you wife and wife. You may now kiss the bride.”

 

 

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In Their Shoes – A Special Day

A sharp sound rings through the room waking me from my deep sleep forcing me to peel open my eyes. Reaching across to my bedside table I fumble for a moment before finding the off button on my alarm. Immediately my stomach begins churning and I sit up rubbing it softly. I slide on my bathrobe and slippers that have been placed neatly on my dressing table and make my way out into the kitchen. Karly and Jas’s eyes light up as I enter the room, their faces look much fresher than mine feels. They squeal with excitement and I can’t help but smile along with them. Karly hands me a warm coffee and we sit down together at the marbled breakfast bench for a breakfast of bacon and eggs.

“I can’t believe today is finally happening!” Cries out Jas unable to contain her excitement.

My stomach gurgles at odds with my permanent smile. Is it nerves or the delicious smell rising from my plate that has my body in such a confused state?

“Are you ready for this?” Karly mouth is half full but she swallows down her breakfast with a glass of juice.

I breathe in deeply allowing the food to fill the areas in my stomach that had been uneasy, “I couldn’t be more ready.”

I have waited years for today. I’d begun to lose hope that it would never be possible. But here I sit with my best friend and sister, starting the day that would be one of the most important days of my life.

After breakfast I change into a baggy shirt and track pants before piling into Karly’s blue Kia Rio and we leave for the hairdressers.

~

They fuss over us for hours, making sure our hair and makeup are perfect. Nerves twitch in my belly again challenging my rising excitement. Looking at my final reflection in the mirror I am amazed with what I see. My makeup and hair are flawless. I feel amazing and I have my two favourite people by my side.

Tears dance in my dark green eyes and my thoughts are interrupted by Karly fanning my face with a magazine, “Don’t ruin your makeup!”

A loud swallow pushes the tears away and Jas hands me a glass of bubbly to fight off the last of my nerves as we leave for the motel room where my mother and my dress await me.

~

Karly and Jas step into their soft yellow floor length gowns. They look gorgeous and tears threaten my makeup once again. I am so blessed to have these two amazing ladies by my side. Karly my best friend, who has always been there for me and is continuously encouraging me to be the best person I can be. And my beautiful sister Jas, who has supported me through so much. Noticing my watery eyes they both step forward embracing me in a three way hug.

“Your turn! I can’t wait to see your dress!” Says Karly, her eyes glassy.

Upstairs my mother helps me step into my white gown. She slides it up over my chest and slides the zip up along my spine before pulling my straps tight. They crisscross down towards my lower back where she ties it into a simple bow. Tugging the skirt down to make it sit properly I turn to look in the mirror. The person staring back resembles me, but only just with this stunning dress, perfect hair and make up. It is everything I have ever dreamt of, the strapless top that fits neatly around my chest and waist then tapers off into a flow of white material and lace towards the floor. Behind my reflection I catch my mother dabbing at her eyes with a tissue and I turn towards her.

“You look beautiful sweetheart.”

I embraced her in a tight hug. She has always been my number one fan, I have the most understanding and caring mother in the world. She lets me go and I stand back to look at myself one last time. Here I am in the wedding dress I have always dreamt of ready to marry the love of my life. Never in my wildest dreams did I believe this day would come. But here I am, ready to leave this room and become someone’s wife.

As I walk through the doorway Karly pulls a tissue from her bag and Jas’s mouth falls open and they both approach me for one last hug. I flap my hand at my face to dry the tears that are once again threatening to ruin my makeup. We are interrupted by a polite knock on the door. Karly, Jas and Mum in tow I pull it slowly open. My dad holds his arms out to take in the picture of his only daughter in her gown, storying it in his memory forever.

“You look stunning sweetheart.” He takes my hand, kisses me lightly on the cheek, and leads me to one of two old style cars waiting outside.

 

The drive feels as though time is standing still as I wait with great anticipation to arrive at the gardens. Images emerge in my mind of when we first met, our first date and our first kiss. All of these moments over many years, leading to this special day. We pull into the parking lot and the small crowd of guests shift excitedly, wanting to be the first to catch sight of the bride. Dad helps me out of the car and I draw in a deep breath, tugging my dress back down into position. Jas and Karly help smooth it out and hand me my bouquet of lilies and baby’s breath. ‘From this moment’ begins to play and Karly gives me a reassuring smile before walking towards the isle, a row of white petals have been scattered along each side. A few moments later she is followed by Jas and I link my right arm with mums, and my left with dads before making my way towards the isle.

The petals lead along the lush green grass towards the white timber arch decorated in tulle and silk ribbon. Each row of chairs holds family members or friends who love and support me and as I look down the aisle the person who loves and understands more than anyone else in the entire world stares back with a look of pure joy on their face. My grin grows as I approach, as though my mouth has a mind entirely of its own. Soon I am at the end of the aisle, mum and dad give me a soft kiss before taking their seats and I turn to face my loved ones.

“Love. It is a universal feeling that connects all humans across the world. From the moment we are born we are taught to love and we spend our entire lives trying to find it and keep it. Love binds two individuals and makes them as one, enriching the lives of all of those who are witness to it. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, a bond that joins two people for better or for worse. We are gathered here today for the much anticipated wedding of Stacey and Devin. Please face each other.”

We both turn our eyes locking together full of love and happiness. We take each other’s hands softly and I take a deep breath that reverberates around my whole body.

“Do you Devin take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do,” I say it clearly and with conviction so there is no doubt in anyone’s minds.

“Do you Stacey take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do.” Her smile reflects my own and I could not be happier that I am finally able to marry my best friend and soul mate.

“I now pronounce you wife and wife. You may now kiss the bride.”

 

 

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Competition Time!

Want the chance to win one of two Dreamer Prize Packs? All you need to do is:

~Take a photo of your favourite place to be. It can be sitting at the beach, in your car or even in front of the tv!

~Post the photo to your Facebook page tagging L J Higgins or to Instagram using ‪#‎dotdcomp‬

Winners will be chosen by L J Higgins Dream Team at 5pm, 18th June 2015!

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The Bet

The cool, bitter beer washes away the guilt that nags at my thoughts and I make my way to a tall black table nestled in a corner at the back of the pub. I take another mouthful before sitting on the stool beside it. I hate having to lie to my wife, but what choice do I have when she insists I head straight home after work? I told her I had to work back. Her ‘yes dear’ was strained on the phone when I told her, she knows I lied. She has a knack of being able to hear it in my voice, but a man needs time to himself after a long day at work. As long as she is playing along I am happy. When I arrive home with an extra few grand to add to our dismal bank account she won’t be angry at me.

Les at work has given me a great tip. His tips usually pay off. He said this was a sure win and I’ve withdrawn the full five thousand dollars of savings my wife and I had in our account. It is the only way I can turn our money troubles around, and our relationship. She will finally be happy and get off my back when we have no more debt.

I pull my betting form from my pocket and place it in front of me grabbing a pencil from the Keno stand. I’m about to win fifty thousand dollars. Opening my worn leather wallet I pull out the folded piece of paper I’d written the information Les had given me on. My wife bought it for me as a Christmas present about five years ago. Back when money wasn’t such a big problem. Back when we were happy and expecting our first baby, my boy Trent. I’ll take them away on a holiday when I win. We can finally go back to the happy family we were back then. Back before our money dwindled away. My wife blames me. I don’t blame her. When I first started betting on the horses I hadn’t known what I was doing. I was stupid and blew money left, right and centre. But all of those losses also had a few wins in between them. This time I know I’m onto a winner. I have to be.

Looking up at the television screen the trainers have started leading the horses around the mounting yard, and I spot the grey thoroughbred that is going to make me rich. I unfold the paper and press it flat on the table, the corner soaking up a little of the water that had formed a circle around the bottom of my glass. Ensuring I put in all of the details correctly I copy exactly what it says onto the form.

Melbourne, Race 8, Horse 10, five thousand dollars to win.

I place the pencil back in its holder and swallow down another mouthful of beer before walking over to the TAB. A young lady takes my form and holds her hand out for the wad of cash that rests heavy in my right pocket. I take a deep breath and exhale as I hand it to her.

“Good luck,” she smiles at me.

“Cheers mate!” No luck needed, today is my day.

At the bar I order myself another XXXX Gold and sit back at my table. As they lead the horses into the holding barriers my eyes are firmly fixed on horse ten, Rippling Situation. The horses move restlessly around their barriers as the announcer begins.

“Lights on… Set… Racing!”

The gates fly open and the horse’s dash from their barriers. One horse hangs behind bucking and thrashing around but my eyes are focused completely on number ten. My heart is in my throat as they round the first bend battling for their positions. I stand from my chair leaning forward, willing my horse to run faster.

“Pacific Wave is off to a strong start, Rippling Situation is coming up on the inside,” calls the announcer.

“Come on, come on,” I mutter to myself and try to ignore the heat of my sweaty palms.

“Rippling Situation is on the inside rail, Pacific Wave is still in front…”

Come on you stupid horse! The anxiety builds tightening my throat, he has to get through. My marriage, my whole life depends on this bloody horse. What have I done? How could I risk so much on a horse? My wife’s disappointed face flashes into my mind. She will never forgive me if I lose this money. She will leave me for sure, and why wouldn’t she? Who would want me as a husband? I’m a loser who destroys everything he touches. What have I done?

“As they come around the bend and hit the straight Pacific Wave and Rippling Situation are neck and neck,” cries the announcer. “On the home straight Pacific Wave is a nose in front. Rippling Situations jockey is whipping him hard.”

You can do it! You can do it!

“Rippling Situation is a head in front. Pacific Wave is digging deep. Rippling Situation and Pacific Wave are neck and neck!”

There’s an excitement in the announcers voice. Of course he is excited, it isn’t his life savings hanging on the ability of one horse to win this race. I hold my breath as they approach the finish line.

Ending One

“It’s Rippling Situation, Pacific Wave, Rippling Situation wins by a nose!”

“YEESSSS!” I yell standing so fast my chair flips over noisily behind me.

I pump my fists into the air looking around at the stunned faces, “You bloody beauty!”

I turn to look at the young girl behind the betting counter and her smile spreads wide across her face. “I did it! I won!”

I pace back and forth while I wait to be able to claim my winnings, fifty thousand dollars. The answer to all of my problems is finally here. I’ll give this young girl a generous tip, shout a round of beers then head home to tell my wife the amazing news. We are rich! How can she call me a useless no hoper when I am handing her fifty thousand dollars?

Finally the moment is here and I approach the young girl to claim my winnings. She organises a cheque and relief falls over me as she places it in my hand.

“Would you like to place another bet sir?” The young girl smiles sweetly pulling me from my thoughts.

Imagine if I could double it?

Ending Two

“Pacific Wave takes the win! Rippling Situation comes in a close second,” my heart drops into the bottom of my stomach and a wave of nausea sits in its place.

Five thousand dollars gone. Now we have nothing. Les had said it was a sure thing, I’d trusted him. My wife’s face finds its way to the forefront of my mind again. She is going to be so angry, there is no way she will stay with me now. She will take everything, even Trent. How did this happen? I’ve really screwed up this time. I pace back and forward trying to find a way out of this mess. Maybe she won’t notice the cash is missing and I’ll be able to get a loan, just enough to win five thousand dollars.

 

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In Their Shoes – The Bet

The cool, bitter beer washes away the guilt that nags at my thoughts and I make my way to a tall black table nestled in a corner at the back of the pub. I take another mouthful before sitting on the stool beside it. I hate having to lie to my wife, but what choice do I have when she insists I head straight home after work? I told her I had to work back. Her ‘yes dear’ was strained on the phone when I told her, she knows I lied. She has a knack of being able to hear it in my voice, but a man needs time to himself after a long day at work. As long as she is playing along I am happy. When I arrive home with an extra few grand to add to our dismal bank account she won’t be angry at me.

Les at work has given me a great tip. His tips usually pay off. He said this was a sure win and I’ve withdrawn the full five thousand dollars of savings my wife and I had in our account. It is the only way I can turn our money troubles around, and our relationship. She will finally be happy and get off my back when we have no more debt.

I pull my betting form from my pocket and place it in front of me grabbing a pencil from the Keno stand. I’m about to win fifty thousand dollars. Opening my worn leather wallet I pull out the folded piece of paper I’d written the information Les had given me on. My wife bought it for me as a Christmas present about five years ago. Back when money wasn’t such a big problem. Back when we were happy and expecting our first baby, my boy Trent. I’ll take them away on a holiday when I win. We can finally go back to the happy family we were back then. Back before our money dwindled away. My wife blames me. I don’t blame her. When I first started betting on the horses I hadn’t known what I was doing. I was stupid and blew money left, right and centre. But all of those losses also had a few wins in between them. This time I know I’m onto a winner. I have to be.

Looking up at the television screen the trainers have started leading the horses around the mounting yard, and I spot the grey thoroughbred that is going to make me rich. I unfold the paper and press it flat on the table, the corner soaking up a little of the water that had formed a circle around the bottom of my glass. Ensuring I put in all of the details correctly I copy exactly what it says onto the form.

Melbourne, Race 8, Horse 10, five thousand dollars to win.

I place the pencil back in its holder and swallow down another mouthful of beer before walking over to the TAB. A young lady takes my form and holds her hand out for the wad of cash that rests heavy in my right pocket. I take a deep breath and exhale as I hand it to her.

“Good luck,” she smiles at me.

“Cheers mate!” No luck needed, today is my day.

At the bar I order myself another XXXX Gold and sit back at my table. As they lead the horses into the holding barriers my eyes are firmly fixed on horse ten, Rippling Situation. The horses move restlessly around their barriers as the announcer begins.

“Lights on… Set… Racing!”

The gates fly open and the horse’s dash from their barriers. One horse hangs behind bucking and thrashing around but my eyes are focused completely on number ten. My heart is in my throat as they round the first bend battling for their positions. I stand from my chair leaning forward, willing my horse to run faster.

“Pacific Wave is off to a strong start, Rippling Situation is coming up on the inside,” calls the announcer.

“Come on, come on,” I mutter to myself and try to ignore the heat of my sweaty palms.

“Rippling Situation is on the inside rail, Pacific Wave is still in front…”

Come on you stupid horse! The anxiety builds tightening my throat, he has to get through. My marriage, my whole life depends on this bloody horse. What have I done? How could I risk so much on a horse? My wife’s disappointed face flashes into my mind. She will never forgive me if I lose this money. She will leave me for sure, and why wouldn’t she? Who would want me as a husband? I’m a loser who destroys everything he touches. What have I done?

“As they come around the bend and hit the straight Pacific Wave and Rippling Situation are neck and neck,” cries the announcer. “On the home straight Pacific Wave is a nose in front. Rippling Situations jockey is whipping him hard.”

You can do it! You can do it!

“Rippling Situation is a head in front. Pacific Wave is digging deep. Rippling Situation and Pacific Wave are neck and neck!”

There’s an excitement in the announcers voice. Of course he is excited, it isn’t his life savings hanging on the ability of one horse to win this race. I hold my breath as they approach the finish line.

Ending One

“It’s Rippling Situation, Pacific Wave, Rippling Situation wins by a nose!”

“YEESSSS!” I yell standing so fast my chair flips over noisily behind me.

I pump my fists into the air looking around at the stunned faces, “You bloody beauty!”

I turn to look at the young girl behind the betting counter and her smile spreads wide across her face. “I did it! I won!”

I pace back and forth while I wait to be able to claim my winnings, fifty thousand dollars. The answer to all of my problems is finally here. I’ll give this young girl a generous tip, shout a round of beers then head home to tell my wife the amazing news. We are rich! How can she call me a useless no hoper when I am handing her fifty thousand dollars?

Finally the moment is here and I approach the young girl to claim my winnings. She organises a cheque and relief falls over me as she places it in my hand.

“Would you like to place another bet sir?” The young girl smiles sweetly pulling me from my thoughts.

Imagine if I could double it?

Ending Two

“Pacific Wave takes the win! Rippling Situation comes in a close second,” my heart drops into the bottom of my stomach and a wave of nausea sits in its place.

Five thousand dollars gone. Now we have nothing. Les had said it was a sure thing, I’d trusted him. My wife’s face finds its way to the forefront of my mind again. She is going to be so angry, there is no way she will stay with me now. She will take everything, even Trent. How did this happen? I’ve really screwed up this time. I pace back and forward trying to find a way out of this mess. Maybe she won’t notice the cash is missing and I’ll be able to get a loan, just enough to win five thousand dollars.

 

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Lost & Found

“Can I get you a cup of tea before I go outside and hang out the washing Geoff?”

Her soft voice barely audible over the racket of the cricket on television.

I shake my head waving my hand to send her away. She’s already made me too many cups of bloody tea. I’m sick of using the bathroom. My last visit meant I’d missed Australia get a wicket. I love my wife dearly, but she is constantly fussing around me. I guess I should be used to it after 60 years of marriage. Settling back into my comfortable sofa despite refusing the tea I need to relieve myself once again. Damned tea.

Flushing the toilet I make my way back to the lounge room and spot a note scribbled on a small piece of paper on the kitchen counter. It’s an ugly glossy pink the counter, my wife had insisted on it when we remodelled the kitchen. I said she could have the horrible colour as long as I could buy my comfortable sofa. Sometimes I wondered if it was worth the trade.

The note read MILK. Bugger I’ve forgotten to get the bloody milk. Rummaging through the small cane basket of nic nacs on the bench I sift through paperclips, rubber bands and a few loose coins until I find the car keys.

“Be back in 5!” I call out towards the back yard.

Slipping on my brown leather shoes at the front door I close it behind me.

Staring at the blinding white two door car that sits in my driveway I yearn for my old Holden Kingswood. That thing was built like a real car, sounded like one too. It grumbled so deep you could feel it in your bones. They just don’t make cars like they used to. They are too small nowadays and would crumble if you so much as sneezed towards them. Grumbling aloud I climb into the driver’s seat and push the key into the ignition. Almost silently the car turns over and I clunk the stick into reverse with a loud crunch. How are you even supposed to know the bloody thing is running? Reversing out of the driveway I turn to head towards the grocery store.

I turn left at the end of the street, then right at the end of that one, but as I continue along the street I’m becoming disorientated. I’m sure the store use to be just round here? Maybe I took a wrong turn? I’ll just head this way I’m bound to find it.

Pulling up towards an intersection my head is beginning to ache. Where am I? Nothing looks familiar and my heart thuds loudly in my chest and ears. I wipe the sweat that has formed on my forehead with the sleeve of my button up shirt and wipe my clammy hands on its blue flannelette front.

BAAARRRPP!

The moody cow behind me is honking her horn. Can’t she see I’m bloody lost? No not lost, just a bit confused is all.

BAAARRRPP!

I can hear her cursing out of her window. No young lady should hear those words let alone yell them. Disgraceful! Frustrated I pull over bouncing and crunching my way up the gutter in my rush. Silly little car, the old Kingswood wouldn’t have complained that much. I wrench open the door and pull myself out.

“Hold ya bloody horse’s lady!” She raises her middle finger before driving away at a ridiculous speed.

Young people these days, no respect. Looking up I recognise the old yellow weatherboard house that stands in front of me. The rose garden full of blooms of reds and pinks. Joeys place! The shop is just down the road. With a bounce in my step I proceed to walk down the street and turn left towards the store. Once again I my head is starting to go fuzzy. What is going on? I swear it was just here. I stand turning on the spot, trying to find a landmark or house that can tell me where I am.

I’m distracted as a car pulls up beside me, a man climbs out in a pair of smart pants and a button up top, wearing a dark blue cap a top his round head.

“Mr Creedy?”

How does he know that’s my name?

“Do I know you?” I take a step back warily.

“Sir I’m Officer Strall, I see you had an accident with your car.”

I look him up and down. That bloody cow must have called the police. She was the one yelling obscenities out the bloody window.

“Mr Creedy, how about you let me take you home sir. I’m officer Strall.”

I turn to face him again as he approaches me.

“What can I do for you officer? Have I done something wrong?”

“We found your car up an embankment just around the corner. Macie is on her way to take you home.”

Macie? I didn’t know a Macie. Maybe he got my wife’s name wrong.

“You mean Margery, my wife Margery?”

A tiny blue car pulls up behind the police officers vehicle, and a young woman with a boy’s haircut climbs out. Why girls insisted on getting their hair cut like that was beyond me. If you asked me a lady was supposed to have long hair so as to tell it was a girl at all.

“Geoff, oh dear god, you scared the hell out of me. I am so sorry officer I can take him home. I just ducked out to hang out the washing. I never imagined he’d go joy riding. I am so sorry officer, you see Mr Creedy has dementia.”

 

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In Their Shoes – Lost & Found

“Can I get you a cup of tea before I go outside and hang out the washing Geoff?”

Her soft voice barely audible over the racket of the cricket on television.

I shake my head waving my hand to send her away. She’s already made me too many cups of bloody tea. I’m sick of using the bathroom. My last visit meant I’d missed Australia get a wicket. I love my wife dearly, but she is constantly fussing around me. I guess I should be used to it after 60 years of marriage. Settling back into my comfortable sofa despite refusing the tea I need to relieve myself once again. Damned tea.

Flushing the toilet I make my way back to the lounge room and spot a note scribbled on a small piece of paper on the kitchen counter. It’s an ugly glossy pink the counter, my wife had insisted on it when we remodelled the kitchen. I said she could have the horrible colour as long as I could buy my comfortable sofa. Sometimes I wondered if it was worth the trade.

The note read MILK. Bugger I’ve forgotten to get the bloody milk. Rummaging through the small cane basket of nic nacs on the bench I sift through paperclips, rubber bands and a few loose coins until I find the car keys.

“Be back in 5!” I call out towards the back yard.

Slipping on my brown leather shoes at the front door I close it behind me.

Staring at the blinding white two door car that sits in my driveway I yearn for my old Holden Kingswood. That thing was built like a real car, sounded like one too. It grumbled so deep you could feel it in your bones. They just don’t make cars like they used to. They are too small nowadays and would crumble if you so much as sneezed towards them. Grumbling aloud I climb into the driver’s seat and push the key into the ignition. Almost silently the car turns over and I clunk the stick into reverse with a loud crunch. How are you even supposed to know the bloody thing is running? Reversing out of the driveway I turn to head towards the grocery store.

I turn left at the end of the street, then right at the end of that one, but as I continue along the street I’m becoming disorientated. I’m sure the store use to be just round here? Maybe I took a wrong turn? I’ll just head this way I’m bound to find it.

Pulling up towards an intersection my head is beginning to ache. Where am I? Nothing looks familiar and my heart thuds loudly in my chest and ears. I wipe the sweat that has formed on my forehead with the sleeve of my button up shirt and wipe my clammy hands on its blue flannelette front.

BAAARRRPP!

The moody cow behind me is honking her horn. Can’t she see I’m bloody lost? No not lost, just a bit confused is all.

BAAARRRPP!

I can hear her cursing out of her window. No young lady should hear those words let alone yell them. Disgraceful! Frustrated I pull over bouncing and crunching my way up the gutter in my rush. Silly little car, the old Kingswood wouldn’t have complained that much. I wrench open the door and pull myself out.

“Hold ya bloody horse’s lady!” She raises her middle finger before driving away at a ridiculous speed.

Young people these days, no respect. Looking up I recognise the old yellow weatherboard house that stands in front of me. The rose garden full of blooms of reds and pinks. Joeys place! The shop is just down the road. With a bounce in my step I proceed to walk down the street and turn left towards the store. Once again I my head is starting to go fuzzy. What is going on? I swear it was just here. I stand turning on the spot, trying to find a landmark or house that can tell me where I am.

I’m distracted as a car pulls up beside me, a man climbs out in a pair of smart pants and a button up top, wearing a dark blue cap a top his round head.

“Mr Creedy?”

How does he know that’s my name?

“Do I know you?” I take a step back warily.

“Sir I’m Officer Strall, I see you had an accident with your car.”

I look him up and down. That bloody cow must have called the police. She was the one yelling obscenities out the bloody window.

“Mr Creedy, how about you let me take you home sir. I’m officer Strall.”

I turn to face him again as he approaches me.

“What can I do for you officer? Have I done something wrong?”

“We found your car up an embankment just around the corner. Macie is on her way to take you home.”

Macie? I didn’t know a Macie. Maybe he got my wife’s name wrong.

“You mean Margery, my wife Margery?”

A tiny blue car pulls up behind the police officers vehicle, and a young woman with a boy’s haircut climbs out. Why girls insisted on getting their hair cut like that was beyond me. If you asked me a lady was supposed to have long hair so as to tell it was a girl at all.

“Geoff, oh dear god, you scared the hell out of me. I am so sorry officer I can take him home. I just ducked out to hang out the washing. I never imagined he’d go joy riding. I am so sorry officer, you see Mr Creedy has dementia.”

 

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I am excited to announce the merge of my blog site and website! Now you can find all things L J Higgins and the Dreamer Trilogy at one convenient online location. http://www.ljhiggins.com

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Keep Dreaming!

L J Higgins

In Their Shoes – A Life Changing Moment

Drawing in an exaggerated breath I slide down the wall until my body finds the cool white tiles beneath me. I pull my knees towards my chest and hug them letting my breath out loudly sighing. The small white object that holds my fate sits across from me. The weight of the world settles on my shoulders at the sight of it. I sink more heavily onto the cold floor.

How could I have let this happen? Why me?

A tear trickles down my warm cheek and I swallow hard to hold back anymore that might be waiting to break free.

Not yet! I tell them. Not until I know for sure.

Again I glance towards it. Many women would stare in anticipation and with excitement, willing their lives to be forever changed. Not me. I watch it with both dread and anxiety knowing the power it holds over the rest of my life, and what happens the moment I open the bathroom door to re-enter the outside world. The world where I would face judgement and ridicule, lose my closest friend and the respect of my family.

Shaking the thoughts from my mind I stand and lean on the vanity my hands straddling the sink. My mind searches for the courage to take a hard look at myself in the large mirror in front of me. I lift my gaze from the shine of the white sink to my own reflection. The disgust I have for myself and the sadness that goes with it almost allows the tears that well in my eyes to cascade down my flushed cheeks. Another loud hard swallow pushes them back.

Braver I stare into my dark blue eyes tinted with reds and pinks, my long dark hair is tied up into a messy bun. Some strands have fallen out around my face and I tuck them behind my ears. My face is paler than its usual olive complexion, but I suppose that is to be expected under the current circumstances. Deeper than that, deeper than my plain, unattractive appearance, is a sixteen year old girl who did something incredibly stupid that has the potential to ruin not only her closest relationships and her reputation, but the rest of her life.

All I wanted was to feel like I was special… normal… attractive. Somebody that boys actually wanted to be with instead of ignore and only date her friends. When he approached me at the party I was sitting on a hay bale by myself staring at the fire that burned eagerly in a rusty drum that had been cut in half. Giggly from an array of premixed drinks I’d eagerly swallowed down to calm my nerves I knew nobody really wanted me to be at the party. I had only been invited because of my best friend. I’d left the house with the thought that maybe if I went on my own someone would see me instead of her. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but once there I realised how invisible I truly was. He sat down beside me with a wide smile and knowing my best friend, his girlfriend, wasn’t allowed to attend, I enjoyed the flirtation and the way it made me feel. He said the right things; I was so pretty, one of the nicest girls he’d ever met, he didn’t really like Bec anymore, he’d always had a secret crush on me.

It was wrong, I knew it was, but still I let him seduce me with dirty tasting cigarettes that left an awful pool of filth in my mouth and even more premixed drinks that made my head light and my stomach churn. We flirted and laughed, and for the first time I believed someone thought I was special. He took my hand and led me to a nearby park, and although panic set in when he pushed me gently towards the wet grass, his affections, kind words and the amount of alcohol I’d consumed made me push it away, ignore it.

He never spoke to me again, and he never broke up with Bec. Instead I lived every day with a terrible guilt, and the sense of being dirty and not good enough. He had taken so much away from me, my close friendship, my self-respect and my virginity.

Now I sit here on the edge of the bathtub awaiting the news. The instructions read it would take ‘just three minutes for your results,’ but it has been the longest three minutes of my life. Across the floor I look once again at the white stick, but I can’t make out the result. I draw in a slow, steady breath and make my way over to it. My hand scoops it up from the cool tiles but I am unable to bring myself to look directly at the panel that will determine my future.

You can do this. A weight shifts from my shoulders as I look at the results panel, there is only one pink line. I’m not pregnant. But the weight only moves to my heart heavier than before. Another tear escapes and rolls down my cheek, I wipe it away hiding the pregnancy test in my pocket and step through the bathroom door back to my miserable reality.

A Life Changing Moment

Drawing in an exaggerated breath I slide down the wall until my body finds the cool white tiles beneath me. I pull my knees towards my chest and hug them letting my breath out loudly sighing. The small white object that holds my fate sits across from me. The weight of the world settles on my shoulders at the sight of it. I sink more heavily onto the cold floor.

How could I have let this happen? Why me?

A tear trickles down my warm cheek and I swallow hard to hold back anymore that might be waiting to break free.

Not yet! I tell them. Not until I know for sure.

Again I glance towards it. Many women would stare in anticipation and with excitement, willing their lives to be forever changed. Not me. I watch it with both dread and anxiety knowing the power it holds over the rest of my life, and what happens the moment I open the bathroom door to re-enter the outside world. The world where I would face judgement and ridicule, lose my closest friend and the respect of my family.

Shaking the thoughts from my mind I stand and lean on the vanity my hands straddling the sink. My mind searches for the courage to take a hard look at myself in the large mirror in front of me. I lift my gaze from the shine of the white sink to my own reflection. The disgust I have for myself and the sadness that goes with it almost allows the tears that well in my eyes to cascade down my flushed cheeks. Another loud hard swallow pushes them back.

Braver I stare into my dark blue eyes tinted with reds and pinks, my long dark hair is tied up into a messy bun. Some strands have fallen out around my face and I tuck them behind my ears. My face is paler than its usual olive complexion, but I suppose that is to be expected under the current circumstances. Deeper than that, deeper than my plain, unattractive appearance, is a sixteen year old girl who did something incredibly stupid that has the potential to ruin not only her closest relationships and her reputation, but the rest of her life.

All I wanted was to feel like I was special… normal… attractive. Somebody that boys actually wanted to be with instead of ignore and only date her friends. When he approached me at the party I was sitting on a hay bale by myself staring at the fire that burned eagerly in a rusty drum that had been cut in half. Giggly from an array of premixed drinks I’d eagerly swallowed down to calm my nerves I knew nobody really wanted me to be at the party. I had only been invited because of my best friend. I’d left the house with the thought that maybe if I went on my own someone would see me instead of her. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but once there I realised how invisible I truly was. He sat down beside me with a wide smile and knowing my best friend, his girlfriend, wasn’t allowed to attend, I enjoyed the flirtation and the way it made me feel. He said the right things; I was so pretty, one of the nicest girls he’d ever met, he didn’t really like Bec anymore, he’d always had a secret crush on me.

It was wrong, I knew it was, but still I let him seduce me with dirty tasting cigarettes that left an awful pool of filth in my mouth and even more premixed drinks that made my head light and my stomach churn. We flirted and laughed, and for the first time I believed someone thought I was special. He took my hand and led me to a nearby park, and although panic set in when he pushed me gently towards the wet grass, his affections, kind words and the amount of alcohol I’d consumed made me push it away, ignore it.

He never spoke to me again, and he never broke up with Bec. Instead I lived every day with a terrible guilt, and the sense of being dirty and not good enough. He had taken so much away from me, my close friendship, my self-respect and my virginity.

Now I sit here on the edge of the bathtub awaiting the news. The instructions read it would take ‘just three minutes for your results,’ but it has been the longest three minutes of my life. Across the floor I look once again at the white stick, but I can’t make out the result. I draw in a slow, steady breath and make my way over to it. My hand scoops it up from the cool tiles but I am unable to bring myself to look directly at the panel that will determine my future.

You can do this. A weight shifts from my shoulders as I look at the results panel, there is only one pink line. I’m not pregnant. But the weight only moves to my heart heavier than before. Another tear escapes and rolls down my cheek, I wipe it away hiding the pregnancy test in my pocket and step through the bathroom door back to my miserable reality.

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