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Why You Need to Explore Your CURIOSITY: Road to Twelve and a Half (Series)

I named my upcoming book, Twelve and a Half: Leveraging the Emotional Ingredients Necessary for Business Success. Even though it’s positioned as a business book, what I really want is for people to take these traits and apply them to their lives overall. Success here isn’t about making the most money or flexing for strangers with stuff you don’t need — it’s about finding what makes you happy and doing more of that. How do you do that? — one way is by following your curiosity. 

Curiosity is next up on our Road to Twelve and a Half, and I really believe this trait holds the ticket to happiness for so many — they just don’t know it yet. When it comes to figuring out who you are, what you like, what you don’t like and what you want to do with your life and career, curiosity — with the help of some other emotional ingredients — is the key

I actually believe that curiosity is an unknown trait behind my success. To truly understand why I value it so highly, watch this video: 

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What is Curiosity? 

Curiosity
(noun)
A strong desire to know or learn something. 

via GIPHY

This trait tends to get a bad rep. Just think of the old saying, “curiosity killed the cat.” In reality, I think that you actually need to go explore anything that grabs your curiosity. It’s not just a good idea — it’s the difference between a life you love and a life you hate. 

“The word curiosity is underrated in our society. It feels fluffy, academic, and childish, but I believe it’s one of the most important characteristics for success in business.” – Twelve and a Half: Leveraging the Emotional Ingredients Necessary for Business Success

Too many people are talking themselves out of happiness because they’re too worried that their ideas are dumb or won’t work. If you’re curious, just execute…stop being scared. Judgment of others is stopping so many when really, your opinion should be the only one that matters. 

Curiosity always leads to opportunity. If you are unwilling to try new shit, please understand that this is a mistake grounded in fear, and I hope this blog inspires just one person to do one new thing they’ve been thinking about! 

Let Your Curiosity be Greater Than Your Fear 

My passion to be curious has always been greater than my fear of all of your judgment. Back in the start of my career, if I had let people’s comments about me being just a “wine guy” stop me, I wouldn’t have gone all in on social media, or VaynerMedia, or now, NFTs. If I lived my life according to the fear of other people’s opinions, there would be no “GaryVee.”

via GIPHY

I urge you — do it for yourself, not for what “they” think. Who are they, anyway? You’re the one living your life — your one life! You’re the one that’s gonna be unhappy if you keep doing things you hate to please others…and you’re the one that’s gonna die! You owe it to yourself to follow the things you’re curious about. 

“When people lack curiosity, they dismiss new opportunities instead of taking the time to explore them.” – Twelve and a Half: Leveraging the Emotional Ingredients Necessary for Business Success

There’s a reason I’m known for so many different things: wine, sports cards, garage sales, business, NFTs. I see my curiosity as an advantage that has led me down the path of opportunity over and over again. So ask yourself…are you actually pushing yourself? Are you learning? Are you taking advantage of the power of curiosity, or are you letting fear and lack of optimism control you? 

If you don’t like your current chapter, you have to go all in on the things you’re actually curious about to create your next one. What do you have to lose? 

Too little curiosity, too much cynicism 

On top of fear, a lot of people’s lack of curiosity is fueled by cynicism. They’re quick to yuck someone else’s yum. They’re all about the “or” instead of the “and,” and the “no” instead of the “yes” or “maybe.” Don’t be that person. 

The truth is, it’s really easy to talk shit from the sidelines…but it’s the ones who actually followed their curiosity that become the athletes executing on the field. 

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You don’t need a “take” on everything .. especially if you haven’t done the homework … “no take” is almost always the right answer .. but we live in “super hot take” life .. stay narrow and deep and patient and curious

— Gary Vaynerchuk (@garyvee) July 8, 2021

Listen, I have compassion for people’s “takes” from the sidelines, but your lack of curiosity and your addiction to cynicism is hurting you so much. There are too many people missing out on something that will make them happy because they are scared to be wrong or aren’t willing to lean into “maybe” and feel very comfortable in the darkness of “no.” It’s time to face the facts…if you’re always saying no, curiosity just might be the “half” that you need to work on. 

Deploy Some Humility After Your Curiosity Kicks In

All that being said, curiosity means nothing without the execution to back it up. It’s all good to be interested in something, but now, what are you gonna do about it? This is where humility kicks in. 

“The two words that stand out to me in the definition of curiosity are strong and learn. To maximize the value of curiosity, you need a strong work ethic. You need a strong desire to continue learning, no matter how much you’ve accomplished.” – Twelve and a Half: Leveraging the Emotional Ingredients Necessary for Business Success

We’ll explore humility more in depth later in this series, but it is important to touch on it now because it goes hand in hand with curiosity. Too many people’s interests go nowhere, not because they aren’t genuinely interested or because they’re not capable, but because they lack the humility to do the work to really learn. 

This is why I’m always talking about the importance of doing your 10, 20, 100 hours of homework. People want to make a quick bag off of NFTs, but do they take the time to join Discord groups, read Twitter threads, blogs, and other educational articles? Do they do research into different projects and founders? People want to go viral on social media, but do they take the time to read their comments?…to get curious about what their audience likes and doesn’t like?…what they need? If you’re really interested in something, deploy some humility after that curiosity kicks in and spend the time to get in the dirt and really learn something new. 

So many feel like they “missed the boat” on things like TikTok or even NFTs…but those same people could have spent 20 hours educating themselves instead of saying no upfront. Instead, too many people fear “wasting their time.” The truth is that your time isn’t worth shit if you’re not fully fulfilled, and even if the thing you’re curious about doesn’t pan out or doesn’t become big, it was still worth the hours of homework because you practiced executing against your curiosity. 

You can’t find the gold unless you go dig for it

Hear me on this. Your time is not more valuable than following your curiosity. Everyone sees me making “predictions” or calling things before they get big, but no one sees the hundreds and thousands of hours I spend researching, learning, and having conversations with people who know more than me. Better yet, no one sees the same hundreds and thousands of hours I spend looking into shit that ends up going nowhere! 

When that happens, I’m not even upset. I don’t dwell on “time lost”…one, because I have patience, and two, because I love the process. I understand that you can’t find the gold unless you go digging for it! Curiosity is what makes the digging fun. 

If you’re not having fun, maybe you just haven’t found the thing you’re genuinely curious about. That’s when self-awareness and accountability kick in for you to think about what you actually care about, and not just what you think you should do based on other people’s opinions. 

Key Ingredient

For me, curiosity is extremely exciting. It’s about wondering what else is possible — how big can I build my business? How many people can I impact with my content? How many will show up to my funeral? Following my curiosity has brought me so much opportunity, and it will do the same for you! 

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this blog. As the Road to Twelve and a Half series comes to an end, I’m really curious to know your thoughts. Tweet me @garyvee on Twitter! 

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My New Show for Emerging NFT Artists: “DNA with GaryVee”

Ever since I started talking publicly about NFTs, I’ve been extremely vocal about how I believed this space would be a total game changer for artists. Now, I’m announcing a brand new show to highlight some of the emerging talent that I’m excited for the world to meet. Introducing, “DNA with GaryVee,” — “Discover New Artists” — a new Twitter Spaces series dedicated to highlighting new creators in the NFT space! 

There’s nothing like finding a undiscovered nft artist that you subjectively love .. fun times

— Gary Vaynerchuk (@garyvee) November 9, 2021

Starting this show is important to me for several reasons. First, I’m extremely excited about how non-fungible tokens have shifted our ideas about what art is and what it can be. From Beeple’s groundbreaking sale of his digital artwork to the auction of my own VeeFriends drawings at Christie’s, it’s becoming clearer and clearer to more people that NFTs are here to stay and that they’re revolutionizing the art world as we’ve known it. NFTs are also changing the rules about who gets to be called an artist. Just like social media created the platform for many people to become personalities, influencers, and experts, the NFT landscape is making room for everyday teachers, gardeners, salespeople and more to feed into their creative sides and explore careers in art that they may have never considered. 

so excited for independent photographers and artists to get their "wave", its happening and its changing so many creative people's lives, instead of working in companies that suppress their talent, some can now afford to be who they are .a lot going on in these early days of #NFT

— Gary Vaynerchuk (@garyvee) August 28, 2021

Second, IP ownership within the NFT space is creating more opportunities for artists than ever before. With artists continuing to get royalties from the resale of their digital works, creators are more empowered to make money in a way that I think will legitimize art as a practical life and career path in the eyes of parents, skeptics, and the world. 

Finally and most importantly, the NFT space is just full of so much creativity and talent that genuinely gets me excited. Like with sports cards and garage sales, I love digging to find the gems. With NFTs, that has meant searching through Twitter threads, Discord channels, and NFT marketplaces and coming across cool art from independent artists. It’s important to me to support up-and-coming artists who haven’t yet gained traction, and just to be kind and use my platform to bring them some attention. It makes me happy any time I can find a dope piece of work and put more people onto it. 

ok found my artist from my tweet earlier .. hi @Melda_VNH i love your stuff and am now the proud owner of this INSANELY epic art ..Thank u and good luck ! and keep me up to date on future work xxo https://t.co/uF8Rl5JzPT pic.twitter.com/4PRaDYjWFb

— Gary Vaynerchuk (@garyvee) October 1, 2021

What to Expect from “DNA with GaryVee”

The new show is called DNA for “discover new artists,” and will be all about discovering new artists that I subjectively find exciting in the NFT space! Similar to the VeeFriends Pre-Launch Program, my hope is to give a little boost to emerging creators and to get the NFT community as a whole talking about what’s new and interesting in art. 

Show format

DNA with GaryVee will be a series hosted exclusively on Twitter Spaces that I’m gonna try to do pretty consistently. It’ll be a 30-minute show. For the first 15 minutes, I’ll introduce listeners to an emerging artist that I am personally excited about or who I just think is doing cool shit. We’ll get to know them, their art, and shoot the shit. For the next 15 minutes, I’ll do a Q&A around the overall NFT space to continue to bring you guys some more macro value with input from my guests. 

This is something I’m super hyped about and I can’t wait to introduce the world to some amazing talent! DNA with GaryVee, Twitter Spaces…don’t miss out! 

Catch the First Episode 

That being said, the first episode of DNA with GaryVee premieres tomorrow, Tuesday, November 16th at 9:40pm EST with an artist I can’t wait for you all to meet! 

Join us here to tune in. I hope to meet you there! 

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Web3 / Metaverse Chat with Mark Zuckerberg

Hey everybody. Exciting news today. As many of you know, I’ve referenced Facebook a ton in my content over the last decade as an example of my macro thesis: Understand where the attention is — it matters so much. That being said, the company has the world’s attention yet again with its After sharing my initial thoughts on Instagram, I connected last Tuesday with the man himself — Mark Zuckerberg – Founder & CEO, Meta. In a podcast conversation I was personally very excited about, Mark and I talked about all things Web3, MetaVerse, and how Meta plans to be a major driving force in the space for years to come. I hope you all enjoy. 

Before we dive in to the chat, watch the video below for my gut reaction to the news of Facebook’s switch to Meta:

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From their purchase of Instagram and WhatsApp in 2012 and 2014 respectively, Facebook has always demonstrated a real understanding of going where the attention is. I think their most recent move is no different. While the name switch seems random to some, it made perfect sense to me for the times we’re in. With their entrance into the VR space through innovations like Oculus Quest, and of course the current surge of NFTs and Web3 technology, rebranding as Meta is a timely decision that makes a lot of sense for where the company — and society — is ultimately headed. 

Check out my full conversation with Mark below for more context, but I’ll give you the brief recap below: 

Mark Zuckerberg’s Hot Take on the Metaverse

By now, everyone knows how bullish I am on Web3, NFTs, and VR being the future. While I had this time with Mark, I took the opportunity to pick his brain about where he thinks the Metaverse is going, and how these times compare to his early days starting out in Web2 with Facebook. 

Here’s some of what he had to say. 

“The next frontier in social connection”

Mark: 

“The metaverse to me today feels like the next frontier in social connection in much the same way that social networking did when I was getting started back in 2004. That’s a big reason why we wanted to change the brand of the company…Today I think that most people think about us as a social media company, but in our DNA, we’re a technology company that builds all kinds of different technology to help people connect and tries to advance human connection. Of course, social media is one important part of that, but I think increasingly, it’s gonna be about building platforms and experiences that deliver this sense of presence like you’re right there with another person.” 

Meta’s already gotten a jumpstart on those VR experiences, working in the space for seven years. They’ve got their Oculus Quest and Quest 2 headsets which allow users to play a variety of games and apps for everything from boxing to dancing and exercise. While gaming has been a huge part of the company taking VR more mainstream, Mark is confident that it’s just the starting point. Moving forward, he suggests that the Metaverse will become a place where people connect for a variety of in-person-like experiences like concerts or even just hanging out. 

What Was Behind His Interest in the Space? 

Facebook played its cards in the virtual space long before the rebranding to Meta. The company made a huge move when it bought VR headset developer, Oculus, in 2014 in a $2 billion acquisition. Seven years later, Mark’s passion for the space continues. 

To me, the Oculus acquisition was a different kind of play than the more obvious acquisitions of social platforms like IG and WhatsApp, and I wanted to know the reasoning behind it. 

Mark:

“Well, a lot of it is just that we spend most of our days building social apps that you use on a little phone. As powerful as that is — you have your phone with you all the time — it’s also pretty limiting. You’re not delivering an experience where you can really feel like you’re with another person and in a lot of ways, that’s sort of the ultimate dream of building these digital social experiences — actually being able to make it so that people can feel like they’re there together and doing something together and collaborating, and just no technology that we have today can deliver that.

So, we’ve seen this progression where, when I started the company, the internet was primarily about text into a computer. Then we got phones that had cameras so the internet became a lot more visual and mobile. And over the last few years, internet connections have gotten a lot better for everyone, so now video is really the primary way that we share experiences. So, you have this progression from text to photos to videos; connection and expressing ourselves keeps on getting more natural and immersive, but that’s not the end of the line. There’s gonna be something after video, and it’s gonna be much more immersive and it’s gonna be something that we can do throughout the day.” 

Just like NFTs, Web3 and Metaverse platforms are the next natural progression in how we interact, relate, and communicate with each other. 

How Long Until Holograms are a Real Thing? 

According to Mark, VR is already here, but we have a bit of a longer way to go to get to mainstream augmented reality. What does this mean? Think holograms in your living room. For a taste, check out this video of Mark fencing with Olympic gold medalist, Lee Kiefer: 

Mark: 

“So, I think you wanna break it down to…there’s the virtual reality side and the augmented reality side. VR is here. I think Quest was really the form factor that was necessary to make it mainstream. Quest 2 I think was a meaningful step beyond that and is kind of the first mainstream hit we’ve had…

When you’re talking about the fencing video that I showed with Lee Keefer and the hologram — that, you’re gonna need augmented reality glasses and that’s a harder problem because first, you’re inventing a completely new optical stack. So, you’re not just using normal screens and kind of building an architecture around that, which is how virtual reality has sort of worked to date. You need to design a projector in a set of wave guides so that way, you can have glasses that look normal, you can see through them. So, there’s a lot of interesting science and engineering there…

AR glasses, I think we’re gonna start seeing things that look like normal looking glasses but that can project holograms into the world within the next 5 years. I think that’s a somewhat conservative estimate.” 

How Meta Plans to Factor into the Web3 / Metaverse Space 

Similar to me with NFTs, Mark’s intentions to build within the Metaverse have become a strong focal point of his enterprise and internal operations. We talked a bit about just how major his plans are to lead the pack in this new direction.

Mark:

“We’ve been talking about this internally for many years. We’ve been working on these VR devices for seven years. We’ve just sort of steadily ramped up the investment to the point where now, in 2021, we’re investing more than $10 billion in this. It’s still not the biggest part of what we do, but it’s very meaningful. I think that you’d be hard pressed to find any other organization that cares as much about this and is putting as much energy into building all these different parts of the future. And what I think you get for that is that Meta has become the premiere place that, if you care about these problems, you want to go work on them.” 

What was Behind the Instagram and WhatsApp Plays?

This is one of those questions that selfishly, I just really wanted to ask. I had my own beliefs about why Facebook made these particular acquisitions, but here it is, straight from the source.

Mark:

“There was a kernel with Instagram and with WhatsApp…where I just looked at that and I was like, okay. I think people often tend to look at these social apps and think that they’re frivolous early on. They think that these dynamics aren’t important — oh, it’s filtered photos or oh, it’s disappearing photos…

But I kind of looked at those and I was like, hey, I think that there’s something that’s important here. I think the world is probably underestimating this, and I also think that we have the skills as a company to go grow these things to reach more than a billion people around the world, because we’d done that with the core Facebook experience and I think there’s two skills there. There’s sort of the building the social experience, and then there’s the helping to ramp up a network around that, and that, I think, is also a core competence. So, I don’t know what would have happened with Instagram if we hadn’t bought it. I don’t think it’s guaranteed that it would have grown to be as big as it is.” 

What the Metaverse means for Meta’s Social Media Platforms

As for those wondering what this shift means for the “Facebook” and Instagram platforms, don’t worry. According to Mark, they’re not going anywhere any time soon. Think of the Meta rebranding as an addition to what the company is already known for, and a new branch that will work in harmony with the corporation’s existing platforms. 

Mark:

“That’s a key thing with this rebrand to Meta. It’s not like now, we’re not focused on social media. That’s gonna be the bread and butter of what we do; that’s the core thing. Our work to build the Metaverse encompasses both building social experiences and building these future platforms like VR and AR. It’s gotta be both — we have to weave all of these new technologies through these social apps because you want to be able to jump into the metaverse and a 3D experience from your Instagram feed — see your friend at a concert. We showed this as part of the keynote presentation, just dive in and maybe be a hologram at the concert, but a lot of the discovery around that is gonna happen through the core of social platforms. So, yeah, that’s gonna continue to be a focus. We’re gonna keep on focusing on growing and building apps and adding more social mechanics around that. I think that there’s a lot more to invent there, and then I think that there’s this next set of platforms.” 

How Will the Metaverse Actually Work?

Mark:

I think a lot of the magic of NFTs and a lot of the Web3 work is that it’s designed in a way to be fundamentally interoperable. That’s gonna be really important because it’ll help break down these silos between different apps and make it so that all your stuff can be just more portable between these different experiences, which I think increasingly is what people are going to expect. And i think that that’s gonna be a big part for creators of making it really worth investing in…

The analogy that I like to think about is..I like your Knicks hoodie, but imagine if you bought a jersey and you could only use it in the sports arena where you bought it. That would be sort of lame and it would reduce the value of buying it because who’s gonna wanna buy something if they could only use it in that arena? I mean, some people would, but a fraction of the number of people who would wanna buy it if they could use it in all these different places, and then if the amount of commerce is gonna be less then that’s gonna attract fewer creators. So, I think having it be more interoperable is gonna be key to making the whole thing so dynamic.”

Takeaway

I really do hope you take the time to watch the full conversation between Mark and myself, especially for those of you confused by or interested in where I see the future of Web3 going. That being said, let me say this. The Metaverse conversation is fresh and exciting, but the concepts are not new. At the core of this is society operating the way it always has. It’s about attention and connection. 

Parents put their kids’ schools on the back of their windshields just to flex. NFTs, digital avatars and clothing are all about the same shit. We’ve been doing all these same things; digital is just exposing truths and scaling truths, and I think the new frontier of 3.0 Metaverse is gonna take us to a completely different place that Web2 gave us a slight preview to.

Thank you so much for reading. If you haven’t yet, go check out the full Metaverse chat with Mark Zuckerberg and don’t forget to share your two cents with me on Twitter!

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The Top 5 Business Books You Must Read This Season

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How to Have TENACITY Without the Burnout: Road to Twelve and a Half (series)

Tenacity is an essential but often misunderstood ingredient for success in business. Of all the ingredients in my upcoming book, this one may stand out because it’s not considered as “soft” of a skill as gratitude, empathy, optimism, and some of the others we’ve covered in the Road to Twelve and a Half series so far. It has a little more teeth to it. That being said, tenacity is extremely important and actually works hand in hand with a lot of the other traits. 

It breaks my heart that people confuse tenacity with burnout — I don’t think the two are the same at all. When approached with the right balance, I think tenacity is actually one of the most crucial traits and something I admire in the strongest CEOs and founders I know. 

Let’s explore a little further.

What is Tenacity?

Tenacity
(noun)
The quality or fact of being very determined; determination.

via GIPHY

via GIPHY

Being tenacious is about being determined and not quitting on your goal when it gets hard or because things are not happening quickly. Having tenacity doesn’t mean that you don’t experience setbacks or obstacles, but rather that those obstacles don’t faze you because you’re that focused on your macro goal. I’ll give you an example. 

One of the things that drives me crazy today is that everybody talks a big game. “I’m gonna be the biggest star on YouTube,” but then after two months of nobody watching, they give up! There is this incredible belief amongst many that you just start producing content and you go viral, and then these amazing things happen in six months. In reality, that only happens to 500 or 5,000 people a year. For the rest of us, myself included, it doesn’t work that way. 

I was 18 months deep into posting five days a week on Wine Library TV and still, almost nobody was watching my show. It takes time, it takes episodes, it takes effort…but most importantly, it takes a level of tenacity that matches your ambition. 

In addition to ambition, tenacity should also be balanced with having a real passion for whatever it is you’re doing! It’s easier to be tenacious when you’re passionate and optimistic and way harder when you’re trying to do something you hate. 

“Being tenacious is about telling yourself, ‘I enjoy my process so much that I am able to push through what others normally view as obstacles along the way.’” – Twelve and a Half: Leveraging the Emotional Ingredients Necessary for Business Success

As with most things, I’m so grateful to my upbringing for giving me the examples that I needed. Growing up and watching my dad come from the Soviet Union to build his business was a great example of tenacity that helped shaped the way I think: 

Macro Patience and Micro Tenacity

Ultimately, it didn’t matter to me that no one was watching my show. It didn’t matter to me that people thought I was crazy for responding back to literally every tweet about wine that I saw. None of it mattered because I had so much belief in what I was doing, I had patience around not seeing results right away, and I had the tenacity to see it through. 

Patience and tenacity are two of the ingredients I talk about all the time. Patience, for me, is a macro; tenacity is a micro. You have to be tenacious in the task at hand, but patient in the overall mission. The problem is that a lot of people struggle with those levels and they give up too soon. 

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When You’re Tenacious, People Around You Won’t Always Understand

For many of the things I’ve “won” at, someone once told me I was wrong or that it was crazy. Years ago it was the internet and social media, today it’s NFTs. Let’s go even further back. 

When old peers would come by and see me stocking shelves at Wine Library, I know a lot of them thought it was crazy that I was still working in my dad’s liquor store. To some people, that may have been devastating. So many fall victim to the idea of “falling behind” in comparison to their friends, but I had so much tenacity that my mind never went to that place. Instead, I was so determined that I was able to tune out the noise of other people’s perceptions and opinions. 

On top of that, I never took those opinions personally. Instead, I had empathy. Of course they didn’t get it, because they didn’t know my plans. They didn’t have my vision, my patience, or my understanding of time and making a short term investment in my family’s future upfront to be able to do what I wanted to do later on. 

That’s why tenacity has to go hand in hand with conviction! When you know what you want and what you’re working for, the obstacles and opinions are just noise. They don’t matter

Tenacity Should Never Equal Burnout

Yes, tenacity means hard work, grit, resilience…but it doesn’t mean that you should sacrifice your health or peace of mind just to reach your goals. If you find yourself constantly unhappy or unreasonably stressed most of the time, it’s probably a sign that you’re not deploying tenacity in the right way. 

“Burnout is physical or mental collapse caused by overwork or stress. Tenacity is determination.” – Twelve and a Half: Leveraging the Emotional Ingredients Necessary for Business Success

Be tenacious about stuff you actually enjoy

Another reason for burnout is that too many people are forcing themselves to go hard at things they don’t even like. Sure, you might have a fancy job and make a lot of money, but what does it even matter if you hate your life most of the time? 

People often ask me how I stay motivated or why I work so much. It’s because I actually fucking love what I do. Business is my hobby; it gets me pumped! It’s so much easier to be tenacious around the shit that you really enjoy instead of forcing yourself to work hard at something you don’t want to do, just to have people think a certain way about you or to be able to afford stuff you don’t need to impress others. It goes back to having real self-awareness and accountability. 

Ask yourself, are you burnt out because you’re working too much, or do you just hate the work you’re doing? Are you setting goals for yourself, or to reach some level of success you think will impress other people?

“When you’ve put yourself in a position to base your happiness on outside validation and on material proxies of success, you will always, and I mean always, be on the cusp of burnout.” – Twelve and a Half: Leveraging the Emotional Ingredients Necessary for Business Success

Find out what you love to do, what you’re curious about, and go do that thing! When you enjoy the process, you’ll see how much easier it is to be tenacious without sacrificing your health or wellbeing. 

How To Be Tenacious When Shit Gets Hard

First thing’s first — you have to ask yourself, what is the alternative? Seriously. If you’ve decided what you want to do, you do it! No matter what. Even if it takes a long time, even if mom and dad or your friends don’t see the point. You stick it out. 

Yes, you should always have balance (and everyone’s balance is unique and personal to them), but keeping that tenacity is all about removing the option to give up on something if you really want it. 

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Decide that you’re gonna do it and then take actions. Set a huge, crazy goal that people think is ridiculous — like maybe that you’re gonna buy the New York Jets — and then don’t give a fuck what people think about it. Just execute and fall in love with the process over the goal itself. Make up your mind that you will not lose to the sauces! If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check out the video below.

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Key Ingredient

If you want to know whether you have the stomach for business, ask yourself if you can handle the no’s. Ask yourself if you love the game of entrepreneurship more than what the game gives you. Ask yourself if you’re ready to never give up! Remember, setbacks and failures are bound to happen. It’s just about whether you have the tenacity to keep going when they do. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog and the others in my Road to Twelve and a Half series. If you took any value from it, please share and tweet me @garyvee ! I’d love to hear from you. 

The post How to Have TENACITY Without the Burnout: Road to Twelve and a Half (series) appeared first on GaryVaynerchuk.com.

Road to Twelve and a Half: Kindness

Especially in the business world, too many people think it’s all about being hard, tough, ambitious, or having grit. Yes, these things are important, but trust me — that’s not where we’re lacking as a collective. We have the “hard things” down. I think it’s actually the “soft things” that are harder to master, and of all the traits in Twelve and a Half, I think kindness is a real foundation to why soft skills are so important in life and business. 

I think my feelings about kindness can get lost in translation for some people who can’t look past my more “aggressive” communication style in speeches and videos. Fortunately, the people who know me best and who see me in my element both personally and professionally understand just how central kindness is to how I operate. Hopefully, this blog can give some more context into how I think about the trait and why I hold it so highly. 

What is Kindness? 

Kindness
(noun)
The quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. 

via GIPHY

via GIPHY

Like a lot of the emotional ingredients, we think of kindness as a “nice to have” when really, it’s a must. We don’t think about kindness as a fucking foundation to business success! We don’t think that being kind is going to make us rich, however, you’ll be surprised at how kindness can impact your business and career as a whole. 

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When you’re kind, you can deploy empathy and you’re less judgmental of others and yourself. In reality, I believe that kindness is what makes life and business more enjoyable. 

What People Misunderstand About Kindness

A lot of it comes down to fear. People are scared that they’re gonna fail, that they’re gonna be taken advantage of, etc. So, instead of being kind, they throw their defenses up. Trust me, being kind isn’t a sign of weakness. The truth is, kindness is a strength that is greatly underrated. 

“People confuse the definition of kindness with the definition of pushover — ‘a person who is easy to overcome or influence.’ They’re not the same at all. You can be kind, be candid, and hold your ground all at the same time.” – Twelve and a Half: Leveraging the Emotional Ingredients Necessary for Business Success

Being “cutthroat” isn’t cool — kindness is the real flex. Check out this video for more perspective. 

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The following video comes from an interview I did on the Drew Barrymore show and it’s a perfect example of how I choose to deploy empathy and kindness in the face of hate.  

i have a lot of compassion, i think it really makes life better https://t.co/pURaTYdHae

— Gary Vaynerchuk (@garyvee) January 15, 2021

So many people are concerned with “blocking the negativity” or blaming social media for being toxic. The truth is, there was “hate” before social media came around and there always will be. As long as people are hurting, some of them will use those insecurities as a reason to target or attack other people. If you find yourself on the receiving end of that, I say kindness is always the answer. There’s no point in getting angry, frustrated, or even trying to convince people to change. All you can do is have conviction in deploying kindness wherever you can. 

If you struggle with choosing kindness, I have so much empathy for you, but I also want to challenge you. Ask yourself why you have that perspective, and when you bought into the myth that “nice guys finish last.” If you take anything away from this blog, let it be that kindness is so much more nuanced than people often think. You can be kind and still be respected and successful. You can be kind and still stand up for yourself and crush it in business. I’m living proof. 

Why You Should Be Kind When it’s Hard

I say it all the time… it’s easy to be kind when it’s easy. What I mean by that is that it comes naturally to us to show kindness to people who are kind to us, people who give us what we want, or people who we know we’ve wronged. What’s harder is being kind when it’s hard. 

Can you be the bigger person when someone has wronged you? Can you deploy kindness even when the other person won’t apologize or admit that they’ve done something fucked up? That’s when kindness really counts. Why? It’s not about letting people off the hook…it’s about understanding that we never really know what another person is going through. 

In Twelve and a Half, I tell the story of when an employee I was close with stole $250,000 worth of wine from me. It would have been so incredibly easy to respond with anger, but instead, I chose to resist judging them and get curious about why they may have done that. I’ll leave the end of that story for the book, but it comes down to this: 

“You don’t have full context on anybody else. You don’t have hundred-percent insight into what’s going through their mind or the events in their childhood that molded them into who they are today. So how can you judge them?” – Twelve and a Half: Leveraging the Emotional Ingredients Necessary for Business Success

You don’t know anyone else’s full story and they don’t know yours. If you messed up, wouldn’t you want others to give you the benefit of the doubt? Wouldn’t you want them to deploy kindness with you? The bottom line is that when you meet people on a human level and talk to them with kindness, you often get to the root of the problem quicker than if you dismiss them with anger or rudeness. 

Kindness needs to be the formula! Unhappy people who were hurt along the way need compassion in response to their dark behavior, not more venom.

Balancing Kindness with Candor

That being said, remember that navigating these traits is all about balance. While it’s important to be kind to those who have wronged you, it’s equally as important to hold people accountable. This is where kind candor comes in. 

“There’s a reason I added the word kind in front of candor. How you deliver the medicine matters.” – Twelve and a Half: Leveraging the Emotional Ingredients Necessary for Business Success

As many of you know, I identified kind candor as my “half,” or the emotional ingredient that I’m still developing. I won’t say too much about it here because it deserves its own blog, but what I will say is that learning to balance candor alongside my kindness has made me a better person and a much, much better businessman and CEO. 

Kindness Starts with YOU

I think how kind a person is to others is a direct reflection of how kind they are to themselves. When we’re always judging ourselves, it’s easy to judge others…but when we show ourselves compassion, respect, and kindness, those are the things we give to the people around us as well.

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I really need you to understand this one thing….If you’re always shitting on yourself or saying things like “I suck,” “I’m just lucky,” “I don’t deserve…” or any other things that are not encouraging or kind to yourself, you need to cut that shit out. Love starts with yourself! If you’re not kind to yourself, it’s because someone else instilled that in you. You weren’t born to think you suck, someone put it there.

Maybe it was your mom or dad being hard on you, or bullies at school, or some other naysayer that made you believe bad things about yourself. Either way, it’s up to you and only you to change that story. Realize that those thoughts are made up and they don’t belong to you, so you get to choose new ones. When you do, make sure they’re based in kindness! 

Key Ingredient 

When you figure out that kindness is the real strength, when you start leaving every interaction with the person on the other side feeling happier, shit gets a lot more fun. Trust me. Be kind and bring happiness to others…you’ll be shocked by what it brings to you.

Thanks for reading! If you got value from this blog, I’d appreciate it if you shared it on your favorite social media platform or with a friend. 

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Road to Twelve and a Half: Empathy

Empathy is one of the most central ingredients of who I am and how I operate. It’s what helps me communicate contextually. It’s what feeds my curiosity and my social listening. It’s been so foundational to my life and business that I even named my wine project after it.

My wine company Empathy Wines sold to Constellation Brands, the trait behind it remains a core part of how I live my life today. Like many soft skills, people tend to think of empathy as a “nice to have” instead of a need. I’m hoping to change that. 

By the end of this blog post, I hope that people begin to understand just how important empathy is in every area, from human connections to business tactics. 

What is Empathy? 

Empathy
(noun)

The ability to understand and share the feelings of another. 

Throughout my career, many people have given me credit for being a great “predictor” or seeing things coming. The truth is, my ability to call things early on from up-and-coming social media platforms to good investments isn’t about magic or luck — it’s about empathy. 

Empathy has been behind most of my big decisions from investing my life savings in Facebook and Twitter when everyone told me they would flop, to today, when I am encouraging my community to get educated on NFTs, even when the some people in society are still mocking, doubting, and ignoring. 

“When you’re empathetic, you recognize why people behave the way they do.” – Twelve and a Half: Leveraging the Emotional Ingredients Necessary for Business Success

Empathy helps me to understand what makes other people tick — their feelings, their likes and dislikes, their wants and needs, their insecurities. That uncanny sense of human behavior helps me to understand a lot about attention, where it’s going, and what that means for us as a society.

When you’re able to leverage empathy in business, it makes you a better business owner, CEO, manager, or leader. When you’re able to leverage empathy in life, it makes you a better parent, friend, partner, and just all-around human being. 

Having Empathy Versus Actually Using It

It’s one thing to have empathy; it’s an entirely separate thing to deploy it to bring value to other people.

Empathy in life

“Empathy is the ingredient that provides the answers to the test. When you can feel what another is feeling, you develop an extraordinary ability to manipulate human beings. I believe it’s the ultimate superpower. You can create carnage with it, or you can use it to uplift the world…” – Twelve and a Half: Leveraging the Emotional Ingredients Necessary for Business Success

Recognizing that empathy gives you the power to sway others is actually a huge opportunity to do good and create value for everyone involved.

Empathy in business

Five years ago, I wrote this blog — Empathy: One of the Keys to My Business Success. Today, all of those words still ring true. That blog goes super in-depth into how empathy can be deployed from a tactical standpoint in everything from sales to HR and B2C strategy, so you should definitely give it a read…but ultimately, it all comes down to what I’m about to say.

The best leaders and CEOs are empathetic. Why? They understand that it’s about more than being a caring person, it’s about taking your understanding of another person or group of people and using it to create a win-win scenario. Empathy allows me to really care and think about what the client, customer, or target audience is thinking. That helps me in sales, it helps me to be likable, it helps me navigate, it helps me make decisions about products and services…it helps me so much and it helps the other party, too. 

On the other hand, it’s also important to balance empathy with letting people learn things on their own, especially in a business context. For example, when two of my employees have a disagreement or conflict, I might intuitively know the answers to what would improve or fix the situation. That being said, I still want to give them the opportunity to figure it out for themselves. Like with all of the 12.5 ingredients, it’s about deploying the right balance of traits at the right time. 

Why I Have Empathy for my “Haters”

I actually think that everyone deserves empathy — even “haters.” I find that a lot of people are so quick to throw hate back at the haters, but I say, do the opposite. Have massive amounts of empathy for them, because they need it the most.

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When someone leaves a nasty comment about you, it’s easy to get defensive or to take it personally. That’s when you have to remember that comments often reflect what’s going on in the inside. People receiving negative comments should take a step back and deploy compassion, but you can only do that once you first have empathy to understand why that person left a negative comment in the first place.

“I deploy empathy and kindness against hate because I know it takes more strength to be empathetic. From the outside, people think that those who come with negativity and aggression have the advantage in the interaction. I know it’s the reverse.” – Twelve and a Half: Leveraging the Emotional Ingredients Necessary for Business Success

Once you figure out that it often has very little to do with you, it’s easy not to care and to respond with kindness.

Empathy for Yourself Matters the Most

Finally, it’s important to remember that you have to start with yourself. It will be extremely hard to understand someone else’s feelings if you don’t understand your own. This is why I make the point in Twelve and a Half that self-awareness — and by association, self-acceptance and self-love — go hand in hand with empathy. In other words, if you’re not understanding with yourself, it’s unlikely that you’ll be understanding with others. 

I talk a lot about not looking back and not dwelling on your mistakes or failures. That’s because I want every one of you to have empathy for yourselves. You’re not lost, you’re just early in the process, and the sooner you understand that, the sooner you’ll be able to see the value of empathy in your own life and the lives of those around you. 

Key Ingredient

Too many people are mad at others without even thinking about where they’re coming from. Too many people are saying “no” instead of “yes” or “maybe.” Too many are judging new ideas or opportunities without doing research or understanding the larger context. Empathy can change all of that

Thank you so much for reading this week’s blog. Don’t forget to let me know your thoughts on Twitter and share on your favorite platform. 

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Road to Twelve and a Half: Optimism

For those of you just discovering this series, Road to Twelve and a Half is a countdown to the November 16th release of my sixth business book, Twelve and a Half: Leveraging the Emotional Ingredients Necessary for Business Success. I hope these blogs can serve as extra resources to build off of the material in the book and help more people find happiness in life and work.

So far, we’ve talked about gratitude, self-awareness and accountability. Today, we’re talking about optimism. 

I’m so grateful to have the audience that I do, and having this kind of platform also gives me a sense of responsibility to help center these emotional ingredients in social conversation. Optimism is one trait I’m very excited about, so excited that I even based an entire sneaker launch on it!

What I knew then and still know now is that optimism is massively important, and yet people unfortunately confuse it with delusion. I hope this blog post and the anecdotes in Twelve and a Half can help to change that. 

What is Optimism? 

Optimism

(noun) 

Hopefulness and confidence about the future or the successful outcome of something.

via GIPHY

To me, optimism is one of the most misunderstood traits. It’s commonly confused with delusion…but in my opinion, having a perspective of optimism might be one of the biggest and most important ways to build a life of happiness and joy. It’s why I have major plans for my guy Optimistic Otter over the next 40 years! 

A lot of people talk about energy, and I’ve come to realize that everything in life is either positive or negative energy. Optimism is the positive energy that makes things happen. It makes you feel good, it makes the people around you feel good, and ultimately, it’s what makes even the “bad” stuff bearable — because when you’re optimistic, you understand that shit can and will get better. Even your “failures” can be fuel. 

I think the biggest obstacle to success is a lack of optimism. This quick video from 2016 really puts it into perspective: 

Why Some People Struggle with Optimism

I’m empathetic to people who are pessimistic because I know that for them, pessimism is almost a form of protection; it’s a defense mechanism. They think it keeps them safe from disappointment or getting their hopes up, but I actually think it’s way less productive than operating from a place of optimism.

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When you’re pessimistic, overly negative or always looking for trouble, trouble is exactly what you’ll get. When you’re optimistic, you’re playing offense instead of defense.

Optimism and Practicality

Many times, people confuse being optimistic with being delusional or naive. They’re so afraid of the disappointment that comes on the other side of losing or being “wrong,” that they dismiss optimism as something fluffy or silly. The truth is, optimism is extremely practical.

How do you expect to accomplish any big goal if you’re already looking for all the reasons why it won’t work? Isn’t it much more productive to believe there’s a chance you can do it or that it will work out? Even if it doesn’t work out, doesn’t it make more sense to focus on the next steps you can take in the right direction? Either way you look at it, being optimistic helps you focus on the opportunities, instead of dwelling on the losses. 

via GIPHY

To me, optimism is the only worthwhile response, especially when fueled by gratitude and perspective. 

 “Optimism is being thrilled about your next at-bat, while acknowledging that you’re not guaranteed to hit a home run.” – Twelve and a Half, Leveraging the Emotional Ingredients Necessary for Business Success

When you’re grateful for the opportunity to even try at something in the first place, it makes the process more enjoyable. When you enjoy what you’re doing, it’s more likely that you’ll stick with it long enough to see results. This is why if you’ve got a big goal, being optimistic is one of the most practical things you can do to give yourself the best chance of reaching it. 

If you’re dwelling on mistakes or counting yourself out, you’ll be behind before you even start. 

How to Build Optimism 

Like anything else, building your optimism will take time. If this is one of your halves, the best thing you can do is rewire your mindset, starting with taking a good look at your environment. This means being aware of who and what you’re spending your time with, and how they’re influencing the way you think. 

1. Surround yourself with optimistic/practical people 

While no one else is accountable for your mindset but you, it’s much harder to be optimistic if you’re surrounded by negative people. The people you spend your time with often reflect the person you become. If your current circle is constantly complaining or pointing fingers instead of thumbs aka lacking accountability, you need to get a new circle.

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I know what you’re thinking…you can’t just cut people off — especially close friends and family. I’m not telling you to drop people and never speak to them again, but the fact is that if someone is dragging you down mentally, it’s best to limit your interactions with them. 

Check out this clip from the Twelve and a Half audiobook sessions. I think it really drives the point home: 

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Now, it’s important to distinguish between “positive people” and “yes men.” You don’t want people who always tell you what you want to hear. This is why that balance of optimism and practicality is key! By staying practical, you avoid sliding into delusion. 

2. Fill your ears with positivity

When it comes to building your optimism and watching your surroundings, the “what” is just as important as the “who.” Think about the stuff you’re consuming, from the shows you watch to the podcasts you listen to. Are they helping you or hurting you? If you don’t know where to start, I think filling your ears with positivity through podcasts and videos is a great way in. A lot of it is free and easily accessible via the internet — this blog is just one example! 

Remember, what you listen to and who you listen to is what you become. 

For Those who Think, “That’s Easy for You to Say”…

I’m aware that my ideas or concepts will be lost on some people. Whether it’s because of my position in life or my delivery and the way I speak, there are some who just can’t get past the messenger to the actual message. There are those who will think it’s “easy” for me to push positivity and optimism because I have a certain level of success. While I’m very empathetic to those who have that mentality, I also want people to realize that this isn’t about me. It’s not even (just) about success — it’s about your happiness! 

I’m grateful if even one person can watch a video of mine, or read a book, blog post or newsletter and get something from it that makes them more optimistic about life. On the other hand, if hearing it from me doesn’t work, I hope you get it from another person or another source — as long as it sinks in. 

That being said, I think this video proves that optimism isn’t just for the super successful. It’s for any and everyone: 

Key Ingredient

Optimism is about positivity. It’s about hope and good energy…and I’m optimistic that all 13 of the emotional ingredients in Twelve and a Half will help people change their own lives in a major way.

Thanks for reading! I’d love it if you shared this article on your favorite social media platform and let me know your thoughts! 

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Soapbox Cars, Punch Buggies & Getting Stopped by the Cops…Trash Talk Episode 7 Recap PLUS Garage Sale Strategies

Hey everyone. For those of you who didn’t know, Trash Talk is BACK  Since the vlog series is here again, I thought why not share a little recap of the latest episode on the blog?

In episode seven, DRock and I were in for an eventful day — everything from petting a dog to a little friendly competition with another garage sailer, and even getting stopped by the cops. There were lots of fun moments in this one, so definitely check out the full episode if you haven’t already. 

For now, here’s a recap of the highlights from Trash Talk episode seven along with a few suggestions to help you up your garage sailing game. 

Every Minute Counts

Garage sailing is my hobby but don’t be confused. I take this seriously! 

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Get up early

I get a huge amount of enjoyment out of getting up early on a Saturday morning to start my garage sale hunt, and every minute counts. I suggest getting an early start to your day. A quick Google search will tell you that most garage sales start around 7am! 

Plan which sales you want to hit

To make things easier on yourself, know which sales you plan to hit before you head out. Print out the addresses beforehand so you’re not losing time trying to figure out where to go next. 

It’s all about strategy, my friends. 

Keep Trying New Locations

In this episode, I decided to hit sales in a town I’d never been to before – West Milford. Even in all my years of garage sailing all over the suburbs of New Jersey, I’d never been here. That’s why it’s important to keep it fresh and keep scouting new locations. 

Google is your mother

There are too many people who say they don’t have enough money that aren’t taking advantage of garage sale arbitrage. Don’t know where to start? Hit up Google and search “town wide garage sale.” Then pick one and start. 

For those with the interest or the desire to potentially make $100-$1,000 over a weekend, garage sailing is a huge opportunity. Put in a little work upfront, find the people doing sales in your area, get up early and go. 

“Ten Bucks is Forty Bucks, Easy”

On one of the first stops of the day, I scored big time with some finds from Lego that resell for up to $50. 

At stop #6, I came across two 1968 Hot Wheels houses – another epic find. Even though I didn’t end up buying them, a quick search on my phone showed me that I could have bought them for ten bucks and sold them for a profit of $40. 

Please understand, this shit is real out here in garage sale land. While some of it is intuition and interest, it’s also about research. If you’re not sure what an item is worth, look it up and see what similar items have sold for online.

Always be Quick When There’s a Punchbuggy Around! 

Ask DRock

Respect Your Competition

Around garage sale #9 or so, DRock and I noticed a lady that kept beating us to all the sales in the area. Some might get frustrated, but I actually really respected her strategy. When she saw that I was at one sale, she moved on to another that she knew I hadn’t hit yet.

Ask for a Better Price 

One of my best finds of the entire day was a homemade vintage soap box car that the owner wanted to sell for $100. I was able to get it for $50 just by asking. 

Garage sales are a great way to make extra money, but it’s not always gonna be straightforward. If something’s out of your price range or you think you could get a better deal, try to negotiate. You never know. 

Check out this clip to see how it all went down: 

Maybe Don’t Film…

Seems like maybe my “friendly” competition from earlier wasn’t so friendly after all The jury’s still out on whether it was her that called the cops on us or not, but either way, I gotta respect her hustle!

In all seriousness, be careful filming in any residential areas. Luckily, this West Milford officer was very kind and we were back on our way very soon. 

Kindness Matters

Probably my favorite moment of this episode was when I got to pay $20 to a young girl for a cup of lemonade. The smile on her face was priceless. It took me back to my childhood in 1985 when a bike rider came by and paid me 20 bucks. 

Best money I spent all day. Kindness matters, folks! 

Takeaway

All in all, DRock and I hit about 40 garage sales that day. People ask me why I still do this, and the truth is that I love it…but it’s also because I want to help people get out of their own way. You may not have a lot of money, but you have the ability to Google “town wide garage sales,” you have $20 for gas, and you have the ability to negotiate, buy something for ten bucks and list it for higher on eBay, Facebook Marketplace, Instagram, or Craigslist. 

When you eliminate your excuses, the world opens up! 

Thanks for reading and/or watching the latest Trash Talk! Let me know your thoughts on the episode on Twitter and whether you’ll be trying any of my suggestions!

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Road to Twelve and a Half: Accountability

On November 16th, I’ll be introducing the world to my new book, Twelve and a Half: Leveraging the Emotional Ingredients Necessary for Business Success. Most of you reading this know that when I say business, I really mean life…and hands down, one of the most important ingredients for personal and professional success is accountability. 

For the third stop on the Road to Twelve and a Half blog series, I’ll be breaking down why accountability is actually my favorite ingredient right now. Of course, all 13 traits matter equally, but they ebb and flow in terms of how focused I am on them at any given moment. Six to eight years ago, for example, I didn’t talk about accountability in my content all that much. On the other hand, today, I’m completely convinced that accountability is maybe the most significant path to happiness. 

Keep reading to see why I’m so bullish on this particular trait! 

WHAT IS ACCOUNTABILITY? 

Accountability
(noun)
The fact or condition of being accountable; responsibility. 

Another trait with multiple VeeFriends characters, accountability is represented by both Accountable Ant and Accountable Anteater. 

via GIPHY

via GIPHY

Last week, we talked about self-awareness, and accountability is the perfect trait to follow up. I actually believe self-awareness and accountability go hand in hand.

More importantly, when you lean into accountability, your life gets happier!

WHY ACCOUNTABILITY IS THE SECRET POTION FOR HAPPINESS

Yes, it’s that important! When you hold yourself accountable, it leads to solutions; it helps you maintain a position of control instead of being a victim. It diffuses the tension in arguments because both people stop attacking each other and look at themselves instead. 

Think about it, if you make everything your fault (without beating yourself up, of course), then you are also the person with the power to change things around.

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So many of you right now – in this exact second – are unhappy because you’re pointing fingers, and feeling a lack of control as a result. The lack of accountability leads to so much bad. If we can prop up accountability instead of shying away from it, all of us will be happier. 

In fact, here are 5 Reminders that Accountability Leads to Happiness. This blog from 3 years ago remains just as relevant today.

Making Accountability Cool

One of my biggest hopes for Twelve and a Half is that it helps contribute to changing people’s minds about what it means to be accountable. I want everyone who reads this blog and this book to start making accountability “cool” — just like being “woke” or the grind culture or being an entrepreneur. I think there’s a crazy amount of opportunity here to shift the meaning of accountability in culture. 

This clip from 2019 sums it up: 

WHY ACCOUNTABILITY IS SO HARD FOR PEOPLE

To put it simply, I think most people hate accountability; they love to point fingers at others, instead of pointing thumbs back at themselves. 

There are several reasons for this.

1. Self-Judgement

For some, it comes down to self-judgement. Since most people struggle to acknowledge their shortcomings or “halves” — aka the traits they’re not yet good at — without huge amounts of judgment, it’s easier to tell themselves that the problem is with everyone and everything else. That way, it lets them off the hook…they don’t have to feel the “sting” of realizing that they messed up. 

2. Fear of Other People’s Opinions

For others, it’s about the fear of what other people think. This is still judgement, but it’s coming from the outside instead of the inside. When you put too much value in other people’s opinions, you’ll do anything to try to control the way you’re perceived — even deflect responsibility. For these people, dodging accountability is almost like armor…they think it keeps them safe, but really, it weighs them down. 

“People fear other people’s opinions, so they develop an ego-defense mechanism against their own mistakes. It’s a form of avoidance disguised as a solution.” – Twelve and a Half: Leveraging the Emotional Ingredients Necessary for Business Success. 

The truth is that avoiding accountability doesn’t keep you safe from judgement. In fact, while it might work on some, most successful people have high EQs and can see through the bs. Passing blame is never a good look or a good strategy. 

Take a listen to this excerpt from the Twelve and a Half audiobook reading. Try to understand how a simple mindset switch from playing the blame game to taking accountability creates more control and happiness in any situation: 

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HOW TO BUILD ACCOUNTABILITY

Here are a few things you can start doing today to increase your accountability.

Understand this: When you blame others, you’re admitting to yourself that you’re no longer in control 

If accountability is one of your halves, it will take time to develop. The good news is that you can start any time. Every conversation, business deal, meeting, argument, mistake, apology, etc. is an opportunity to take responsibility for your part in how things played out and start the process of fixing it. 

Change your Perspective 

I know what some of you are probably thinking – but Gary, what if it’s really not my fault? What if the problem is above me or shit just happens? I get it, but my challenge to you would then be to change your perspective. Even if the problem you’re looking at seems beyond your control, you’re still in control of how you absorb it. 

“It excites me to know that nobody else is in control. If I created the issue, then I have the power to fix it. If I didn’t create the issue and it’s bigger than me or purely circumstantial, I can still decide how I absorb it.” – Twelve and a Half: Leveraging the Emotional Ingredients Necessary for Business Success

Ask Questions

Lastly, build a habit of training your brain to take ownership by asking questions. For example…

Did I mess up? Yes. → Then, it’s my fault, which means I have the power to fix it.  

Did I mess up? No. → Did someone I hired mess up? → Yes. → Then, it’s my fault, which means I have the power to fix it. 

Was there something I could have done differently to have avoided the problem? Could I have been more prepared? Could I have moved faster or slower? 

If you’re just getting started, building accountability will be like building muscle – it’ll take time. My hope is that the more you do it, the more natural it’ll feel, like a reflex. The less time you spend between the time of the issue and the moment you take accountability, the less time you’ll spend feeling powerless and the quicker you can move on to solutions.

Holding Myself Accountable 

I only say it because I live it, my friends. The reason this book is called Twelve and a Half and not Thirteen is because I’m holding myself accountable for my own weaknesses. It was important to me that I share my “half” with you guys so that you could start to think about yours. 

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Find someone else to hold you accountable

The above examples are all about how you can take responsibility for yourself, but sometimes the best way to do that is to get the assistance of someone you trust. When you’re accountable to someone outside of yourself, it can be a great motivating force.

For instance, I work so hard for VaynerMedia because I have hundreds of employees. I have a responsibility to those people and I owe it to them to show up with my best every day. Even if you don’t have a business, all of us have roles in our lives where we are responsible for other people. If you’re a parent, you’re responsible for your kids. If you’re a pet owner, you’re responsible for your dog, cat, or bird…Knowing that others are counting on you is a constant reminder to stay accountable.

That being said, there are some areas in our lives that are harder than others. A few years ago, mine was my health. While I was holding myself accountable in business and with family, I was completely neglecting my physical health. After asking myself why, I realized that it was because I lacked that outside source of accountability. So, what did I do? I hired a full-time trainer. 

You can find out how I finally got serious about my health here, but ultimately, it boiled down to finding that tactic that would eliminate all excuses and push me to take my health seriously. That tactic was accountability. Why am I sharing this with you? I know holding yourself accountable isn’t the easy route — it’s why so many avoid it. So, if you need that extra motivation, find someone else to hold you accountable.

KEY INGREDIENT

Just like the caller in that clip, I hope that this blog and this book can be a breakthrough moment for all of you to realize that accountability is always the answer. 

Thank you so much for reading. Don’t forget to share this article with a friend or on your favorite social media platform, and tweet me your thoughts! 

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