Dan Van Oss's Blog, page 3
July 29, 2015
Calm your caxirolas: it’s the World Cup!We do our best to explain earth's quadrennial vuvuzela fixation.
Every four years there is an earth-wide contest to see who are the most obnoxious soccer fans in the universe, during which some games are also played. This is the FIFA World Cup, which, to many Americans, has all the excitement of wondering whether or not you remembered to use that $5 off coupon at your last oil change, but to the rest of the world, is like the Super Bowl and the World Series had a baby, and it came to earth wrapped in a fiery rainbow and wearing golden shin guards, and then...
July 21, 2015
Blood, sweat and gears (the Tour de France)Our fact-feeble guide on how to tell your polka dots from your peloton.
Every year a contest plays out that punishes the participants in ways only the top competitors in their field can fathom; where once friendly teammates can turn suddenly hostile from competitive self-preservation, and even the slightest mishap can prove costly. The welcome end of each day offers only a brief rest before the beginning of another, grueling stage tomorrow, with the finish line seemingly months away. But enough about the upcoming Presidential Elections; let’s talk about the Tour...
Blood, sweat and gears: It’s the Tour de FranceOur fact-feeble guide on how to tell your polka dots from your peloton.
Every year a contest plays out that punishes the participants in ways only the top competitors in their field can fathom; where once friendly teammates can turn suddenly hostile from competitive self-preservation, and even the slightest mishap can prove costly. The welcome end of each day offers only a brief rest before the beginning of another, grueling stage tomorrow, with the finish line seemingly months away. But enough about the upcoming Presidential Elections; let’s talk about the Tour...
July 14, 2015
Ball Boys, Four-Tuples and Frankenberry (Wimbledon)We get to the centre of tennis' oldest living tournament.
Wimbledon is one of tennis’ four prestigious Grand Slam tournaments, and arguably the most famous, although I’ve never heard anyone actually really argue about it. The annual tennis tournament is held each year at the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club (Official Motto: “I Say, Jeffries, Fetch Me My Snobbery Jacket, There’s A Good Chap”) in London. Officially named (apparently by Yoda) “The Championships, Wimbledon”, it is the oldest tennis tournament in the world, having been held in Lo...
Tennis, anyone? (Wimbledon)We break out the Frankenberry and skim milk for tennis' oldest living tournament.
Wimbledon is one of tennis’ four prestigious Grand Slam tournaments, and arguably the most famous, although I’ve never heard anyone actually argue about it. The annual tennis tournament is held each year at the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club (Official Motto: “I Say, Jeffries, Fetch Me My Snobbery Jacket, There’s A Good Chap”) in London. Officially named (apparently by Yoda) “The Championships, Wimbledon”, it is the oldest tennis tournament in the world, having been held in London si...
Tennis, anyone? (It’s Wimbledon!)We break out the Frankenberry and skim milk for tennis' oldest living tournament.
Wimbledon is one of tennis’ four prestigious Grand Slam tournaments, and arguably the most famous, although I’ve never heard anyone actually argue about it. The annual tennis tournament is held each year at the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club (Official Motto: “I Say, Jeffries, Fetch Me My Snobbery Jacket, There’s A Good Chap”) in London. Officially named (apparently by Yoda) “The Championships, Wimbledon”, it is the oldest tennis tournament in the world, having been held in London si...
Tennis, anyone? (It’s Wimbledon!)We break out the Frankenberry for tennis' oldest living tournament.
Wimbledon is one of tennis’ four prestigious Grand Slam tournaments, and arguably the most famous, although I’ve never heard anyone actually argue about it. The annual tennis tournament is held each year at the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club (Official Motto: “I Say, Jeffries, Fetch Me My Snobbery Jacket, There’s A Good Chap”) in London. Officially named (apparently by Yoda) “The Championships, Wimbledon”, it is the oldest tennis tournament in the world, having been held in London si...
July 8, 2015
Castle Thingys, Horsies, and Pointy Guys (Chess)We make some moronic moves in the world's brainiest game.
Chess is a classic two-person strategy game designed to show players that they really weren’t as smart as they thought they were. Once considered the only game of choice for non-football-playing high school boys or college grad students who knew all of the lines from “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” — which, come to think of it, are pretty much the same person — chess has achieved broader appeal in recent years. It is now played online, in schools, coffee houses, and even urban parks, where...
Castle Thingys, Horsies, and Pointy Guys: It’s Chess!We make some moronic moves in the world's brainiest game.
Chess is a classic two-person strategy game designed to show players that they really weren’t as smart as they thought they were. Once considered the only game of choice for non-football-playing high school boys or college grad students who knew all of the lines from “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” — which, come to think of it, are pretty much the same person — chess has achieved broader appeal in recent years. It is now played online, in schools, coffee houses, and even urban parks, where...
June 30, 2015
Gravity Roads, Scenic Railways and Skittle Vomit (Roller Coasters)Take a spin on our fact-mangled history of the roller coaster.
A roller coaster is an amusement mechanism devised to separate the stomach contents of passengers from their owners. First popular in the late 19th century, it has become a staple of the modern amusement park, along with sunburn, Skittle vomit, and lukewarm, ten-dollar hot dogs.
Don’t Gorka your Katalnaya when you’re eating SkittlesThe concept of a wheeled cart locked to a track was then developed in Paris (Official Motto: “[Something Snobby-Sounding In French”] in the early 1800’s.The origi...
