Ken Preston's Blog, page 5

Whoops, I Did it Again

I never actually set out to fail.

Whenever I start a new project or a new story I don’t ever go into it thinking, I hope I fail this time.

Nobody does that, right?

But I do seem to fail quite often. And quite early too.

Case in point: On Thursday I emailed my newsletter subscribers and asked for help. By the way, before I go any further, my newsletter peeps never fail me. Whenever I ask for something from them, they always step up to the mark and deliver. I hope I can get better at doing the same for them.

On Thursday I said to them,

‘Look, I’ve got nothing to write about on my blog this coming Sunday. I need help. And I thought, why don’t I write a story, and you guys can provide me with the opening line or two.’

They had until midday Friday and then I was going to start writing.

Like I said, I never set out with the intention to fail.

I received some great opening lines, but this was the one that intrigued me the most and I felt had the greatest potential.

‘I wish I could tell you that was the first time I woke up in the trunk of a car, without a single memory of the night before.’

After watching The Big Lebowski the week before, I think I had got myself into a film noir frame of mind, with private detectives, femme fatales and a labyrinthine plot of double crosses.

I started writing.

Confident once more in my unhindered path towards a successfully written story. No mountain peaks of difficulty for me to climb, or deepest, darkest troughs of uncertainty to trudge through. The sun was shining, the sea was calm, my path was clear, yeah, you get the message.

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Well, here we are. It’s Sunday and my short story has taken on a life of its own and I’m a long way from finishing it. I’ve already trudged the valley of despair, where hidden monsters lurk and enjoy taunting me with whispered homilies, such as, ‘What did you think you were doing? There’s no way you can achieve this.’

And I’ve climbed a couple of mountain peaks of difficulties, and sometimes even thought I was about to climb high enough to see the big picture, but then realised I was simply heading for a false summit.

Ah, writing. Who said it was easy?

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All right, so I’m not climbing into a metal lift everyday and sinking deep beneath the earth to hack at the coal face, like my Uncle Terence used to do.

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That’s hard, uncomfortable, back-breaking, health destroying work.

So don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining here. I’m one of the luckiest people in the world to get to follow my passions everyday.

But writing fiction is never easy.

Like I said, the story began to take on a life of its own. You might think this is a good thing. Sounds like it’s going to write itself, doesn’t it?

And sometimes, not often enough but sometimes, that does happen.

But not this time.

No, my story was telling me it needed to be set in the late 1960s.

And it needs to tie in with the Joe Coffin books.

Oh.

Great.

Thanks a lot.

And then I find myself researching the history of boxing in Birmingham, and I’m looking at popular baby names from the 1940s, and I’m digging out my copy of Joe Coffin Season Two to check some story details, and I’m thinking, how the hell did I wind up here?

What happened to this short, fast little story?

Why do I always have to make things so involved?

Why do I always have to fail?

Although, thinking about it now, at least I got a blog post out of it, so this wasn’t a complete failure. You could in fact label it a success, seen as how that was the whole point of the exercise in the first place.

And failure?

Failure is a necessary part of the journey towards success.

No, I never set out to fail when I start a new project.

But I always do my best to welcome failure with open arms in the knowledge that he is on my side and wants me to succeed.

Oh, and that story I’m supposed to be writing?

I am writing it.

And it’s going to be a corker.

The post Whoops, I Did it Again appeared first on Ken Preston.

This is What Happens When You Find a Stranger in the Alps

I’ve never actually been to the Alps, so I suppose I’m not qualified to report to back to you on the truth of the matter. But it does seem highly unlikely to me that upon finding a stranger in the Alps, your car would be attacked by a crowbar wielding man who seems to be very angry.

Ah yes, The Big Lebowski, rendered even funnier (which I thought not possible) by the overdubbing of John Goodman’s rant at Larry, the fifteen year-old kid who is suspected of having stolen their briefcase stuffed with a million dollars.

Look, even if you haven’t seen The Big Lebowski (and if you haven’t, I’m afraid that may well be the end of our relationship right now, but once you have corrected your mistake I will welcome you back, obviously) I don’t think it takes too much imagination to work out what the original line is.

I’m telling you this because I watched The Big Lebowski with Thing One this week. It’s part of his Classic Cinema Education, where he is forced to sit through a list of films curated entirely by myself.

It’s for his own good.

And thankfully it’s working out well so far.

Thing One is fifteen years-old right now, (much like Larry, who is now aware of the dangers of finding a stranger in the Alps) but I started him on the films he needs to see from a very young age. The 7th Voyage of Sinbad was one of the very first, watched when he was a toddler. He used to call it ‘The Bad film,’ which made one of my friends laugh out loud because he thought I was showing Thing One inappropriate, ie ‘bad films’, but Thing One was actually saying ‘the Sinbad film’.

Oh how we laughed.

From there we watched a ton of Laurel and Hardy (obviously) and Star Wars and some other stuff I forget now.

Of course he had to watch Jaws. In fact, he’s seen it three times now, twice on DVD and once on a theatrical re-release.

As he grew older we moved on to The Great Escape and The Magnificent Seven, and older still on to The Taking of Pelham 123, To Kill a Mockingbird and Some Like it Hot.

At Christmas we watched Die Hard and by this time I was thinking he was close to being ready for the Dude.

The Big Lebowski was a worry for me. This was going to be his first proper 18 rated movie. Die Hard was originally an 18 certificate but has since been re-certificated at 15. But The Big Lebowski still has that big old 18 warning slapped on its DVD cover.

I consider the BBFC ratings a lot more now that I’m a parent. I’m no fan at all of censorship generally, but in full agreement that there has to be restrictions on age appropriate content. And we have a great system in this country where anyone can visit the BBFC website and find out the reasons for the age rating on a particular film.

It had been a fair few years since I had last seen The Big Lebowski, and I couldn’t really remember why it would be classified as an 18. I remembered all the swearing, including more than 200 uses of the F word (This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps, Larry!) and the spliff smoking and maybe there was some nudity.

I had forgotten about the scene where Maude shows the Dude the film Logjammin, starring Karl Hungus, (no need to ask what kind of film that is) but relieved to find that it didn’t actually go anywhere I didn’t want it to.

Yes, there were a couple of moments whilst watching the film with Thing One where I began to wonder if I had made a mistake in letting him see it this soon, but no, it all turned out great and he loved it.

The following night we watched Robocop.

He enjoyed that too, even showing an appreciation for the stop motion and blue screen effects.

It’s all working out very well so far, with Thing One telling me he’s enjoyed every film I have shown him. Of course, this just might be because I’m his dad and he loves me, and doesn’t want to let me down by rubbishing a film I love.

But I think not.

Next up I’m thinking maybe Assault on Precinct 13. At least we will be back into 15 certificate territory there.

Of course we’re going to have to watch The Exorcist, The French Connection and Sorcerer.

The first two Mad Max films, then skip number three and go straight on to Fury Road.

Dirty Harry, but none of the sequels.

He will have to watch Hitchcock of course, Vertigo and Psycho especially.

And there is no way he’s escaping without seeing Cool Hand Luke, one of my favourite Paul Newman movies (he’s already seen Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid).

And then there are the ‘difficult’ movies.

Citizen Kane.

The Seven Samurai.

The Three Colours Trilogy.

His film education continues apace.

This list is, obviously, far from complete.

What about you? What would your suggestions be?

The post This is What Happens When You Find a Stranger in the Alps appeared first on Ken Preston.

Authors Fighting is not a Pretty Sight

Yesterday I attended the Burton Sci-Fi and Fantasy Con.

The result of this is that two things happened for the very first time in the entire universe.

The Burton Sci-Fi and Fantasy Con held its inaugural event, the first of many I hope.
I attended my first convention as a dealer, with a table full of of my books for sale.

Now, I know this is not exactly earth shattering news. Your day isn’t going to be changed by either of those two facts. The earth is still spinning and the British government is still sinking beneath its own weight in nonsensical debates about Brexit.

But, for at least two of us, this was a pretty big deal.

I’ve known Angeline Trevena for a few years now, but purely on-line. Angeline is the author of several dystopian urban fantasy novels. Deciding she wanted to branch out in new areas, she set out to organise a Sci-Fi and Fantasy convention in her local town. At first it was going to be a low key affair, featuring a few author friends. But it blossomed and bloomed and grew until she had nine authors, Warhammer and Dungeons and Dragons workshops, actor , and Cosplayers, amongst other things which I have probably forgotten.

And it was brilliant!

And just as brilliant was finally getting to meet Angeline in real life and realising, just as I had always suspected, that she is a lovely, warm-hearted person with oodles of generosity and positivity lighting up the day.

The convention ran seamlessly, (Angeline, if you ever decide to give up on being an author, a future in events management surely awaits) and I got to meet lots of new people and catch up with some I hadn’t seen in a while.

I even sold some books.

Unfortunately I got into a scrap with bizzaro fiction author Duncan Bradshaw, but fortunately horror author and publisher Justin Park was there to calm us down and make the peace.

So, what’s next in terms of appearances?

I’m definitely booked in for Stokercon in April 2020 and possibly making a couple of appearances at my local library, one of which will be to celebrate World Book Day. Other than a couple of school visits, that’s it for the moment.

Except . . .

I’m bitten by the convention bug now.

With my business head on (or at least in my case what passes for a business head) and looking at my sales figures, I broke even yesterday. Nothing to brag about, right?

But, I made couple of new contacts with possibilities for further work/exposure/networking potential.

And, it was just so much fun!

Maybe I should think about setting up a Sci-Fi and Fantasy Con in Stourbridge.

What do you think?

The post Authors Fighting is not a Pretty Sight appeared first on Ken Preston.

Taking Time to Contemplate the Horror

As Ferris Bueller once said,

‘Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.’

I never really thought of Ferris as a visionary. Cool dude, yes. But not someone who could predict the tsunami of information we now have. Because life sure does move pretty fast around here, and so does everything else.

For example, when was the last time you watched a film that favoured quiet, contemplative moments over fast and furious action? Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for fast and furious action in movies (except I have never seen a single Fast and Furious movie, and now that we are up to approximately 271 sequels I don’t think I can jump in, life’s too short) but I do feel we are in danger of losing the ability to spot the subtleties of life and art without slowing down sometimes.

For another example, when was the last time you peeled yourself away from your FaceInstaWhatzaYouBook feed, which refreshes every millisecond, and took time just to appreciate the view, or a piece of art?

Like this sculpture —

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It’s not exactly easy to look at, is it? And I can imagine myself standing in an art gallery, gazing at this, maybe walking around it to look at it from all angles, and becoming increasingly unnerved as the seconds stretched out. Although fascinating, there’s something offensive to the eyes about this sculpture. And what about that poor toddler, lying there contentedly asleep whilst being cuddled by something out of a mad scientist’s worst nightmare?

No jump shocks here. No fast editing or creepy music to jangle your nerves.

This work is by Patricia Piccinini, and if you think you can take more you can follow her here on Instagram.

Let’s move on, I feel like I have looked at enough.

Let’s take a look at this painting by Dado.

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There, that’s better, isn’t it? I mean, it’s a bit odd, I know, but it’s not freak out weird and nasty like that last one.

Oh, hang on. What’s that there? Is that a face, and it’s eye has popped out? And why does that man have a bird’s beak sticking out of the side of his head, and burrowing into the skull beside him? No, not a skull. A cockroach, maybe?

And, wait a second, is that really, seriously … ?

With a work of art like Monster Brain you have to stop and look. You have to wait for the details to emerge. It’s not like YouTube where everyone tries to grab your attention within the first five seconds of the video. Dado isn’t competing for your attention, he’s not yelling at you to stay with him. It’s up to you. Move on if you want, go find something else to lavish your gaze upon.

No, he’s inviting you in, much like the witch invites the children into her house for a plate of cookies and a mug of warming hot chocolate.

Stay awhile, have a look around.

You’re safe here .

If you really are in a rush and want a shot of disquiet fast, like mainlining horror through a vein, then you should go visit Laurie Lipton’s website.

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Last Night I Dream I Murdered Mommy has to be one of the most unsettling line drawings I have ever come across. Partly it’s that gruesomely joyful smile the kid’s sporting, but even worse the child is looking at us, inviting us to share the joke and making us complicit in the horrifying murder that is about to occur. Take a look at Laurie Lipton’s website for further examples of her work, and then join me in wondering if she is actually sane. Whatever, she’s brilliant.

I’m going to distract you from the horror for a moment to take a look at Cornelia Parker’s brilliant art installation

Cold Dark Matter: An Exploded View.

Cornelia had herself a shed built and filled it with the detritus of life that usually winds up in our garden sheds.

Then she asked the British Army to blow it up.

Amazingly, they agreed.

Actually, maybe it’s not that amazing. The army, after all, do seem to enjoy blowing things up. It’s just so very British though, isn’t it? And I can picture the conversation.

Parker: I’ve just had a new shed and filled it with lots of my possessions. Could you blow it up for me please?

Army General: Yes, of course! Shall we come round and do it now?

Next, Parker gathered all the pieces and strung them up in the Tate Modern, seemingly mid-explosion, and lit by a bare bulb which cast shadows over the walls.

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I’ve seen it, and it’s brilliant.

And I love how Parker has attempted to catch that most fleeting of moments, a millisecond of time, and freeze it in real life for us to gaze at and contemplate.

Back to the horror,

and here’s one that hits you in the gut immediately, like a barbed wire baseball bat to the head. Wait a minute, gut, head, I mixed my metaphors there, didn’t I?

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Tiffany May looks like your typical High School Prom Queen. Beautiful, sweet, looking lovely in her dress and tiara. Except, she happens to have a decapitated head in her lap and a knife jammed in its ear. What the hell did that poor guy do to deserve this? Was he her prom date and he turned up late or, even worse, with someone else? And it looks like the violence happened by his locker, with the baseball bat and ball, and the football in view.

Wait! While writing this blog I just noticed the fork lying on the floor in that ever so shiny pool of blood. What the hell is that all about?

The artist, Aly Fell, makes us complicit in this act too, by having Tiffany proudly showing off her selfie on her phone to us.

Or maybe we are meant to be the high school principal, just come upon this horror tableaux.

Well, I’m not sure this whistle-stop tour through the alternative horror side of art has been at all contemplative, but I had to be quick because I need to get back to writing Joe Coffin Season Five.

The post Taking Time to Contemplate the Horror appeared first on Ken Preston.

5 Vampire Novels For Your Consideration

We’ve done films twice, we’ve looked at comics and graphic novels, and now it’s the turn of the books.

Ladies and Gentleman, I present to you,

5 Vampire Novels For Your Consideration.

1. The Historian – Elizabeth Kostova

I really, really, really wanted to like this book. That probably explains why I tramped on through to the ending, instead of giving up halfway through.

Because I so very really wanted to like The Historian.

This is how much I wanted to enjoy it: I bought the darn thing in its hardback edition.

And I thought I would like it because it was described as ‘unbearably suspenseful’ and ‘jump out of your chair’ scary.

Huh. I must have been reading a different edition of The Historian. One in which all the suspenseful scary parts had been removed and replaced with dull conversations in libraries around the world. It’s hardly realistic either. In not one of these libraries do our heroes get shushed by a librarian.

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So, if you’ve read The Librarian – sorry – The Historian, could you please contact me and explain what I’m missing, because I sure must have missed something.

 

2. Salem’s Lot – Stephen King

Now this is much better. Say what you like about Stephen King and his output and the quality – or lack – of, especially in his later works, but damn that man can write a terrifying novel when he puts his mind to it. And Salem’s Lot, for me at least, is one of his scariest.

Yep, it’s up there with The Shining, Misery and Pet Semetary.

The brilliance of Salem’s Lot is the way in which he managed to combine the soap opera elements of prime time TV shows with Bram Stoker’s Dracula. The plot and the characters populating King’s novel don’t have the feel of real life, they have something far better – the feel of a soap opera, something which many people can identify with.

I first read Salem’s Lot when I was far too young to be reading that kind of material and it scared the hell out of me. Then I read it again many years later and it scared the hell out of me all over again!

3. The Passage – Justin Cronin

Oh boy, I can feel myself dropping off to sleep just thinking about this novel. Actually, at 785 pages and in hardback (yes, another book I bought in hardback and then regretted) it could have knocked me out if it had landed on my head.

To be honest, that’s a little unfair. In fact, I really enjoyed the first couple hundred pages. The outbreak, the man running away with the girl, doing his best to protect her. It was all very exciting and had me glued to the pages.

But then it suddenly skipped a hundred years into the future and I had to get to know a whole set of new characters and a new situation. Not good, especially as a lot of this part of the story is told in flashback in a very passive, flat way.

The third half of the book improved somewhat, but never reached the heights of the first third, and I never bothered to read the rest of the trilogy.

So, to borrow a football saying, The Passage is a game of three halves.

That is right, isn’t it? A game of three halves?

 

4. Fat White Vampire Blues – Andrew Fox

‘Jules Duchon was a real New Orleans vampire. Born and bred in the working-class Ninth Ward, bitten and smitten with the Big Easy. Driving through the French Quarter, stuck in a row of bumper-to-bumper cars that crept along Decatur Street like a caravan of bone-weary camels, Jules Duchon barely fit behind the steering wheel of his very big Cadillac taxicab. Even with the seat pushed all the way back. Damn, he was hungry.’

This one I haven’t actually read, but I love the concept so much – a fat guy gets bitten by a vampire and returns to life as one of the undead, but still trapped in his obese body – that I bought the book. Still, I’m not holding my breath for it to be an enjoyable read (and besides, I couldn’t hold my breath for the time it takes to read a book, that’s just silly) because the reviewers are pretty split over how good it actually is.

Well, I suppose I will find out soon enough.

 

5. Joe Coffin Season One

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Wait! What?

I put my own book on this list?

Too right I did. It’s my blog and I can do what the damn well hell I feel like. Or something.

Anyway, before you get your knickers in a twist or your pantyhose in a tangle, let me remind you this post is called 5 Vampire Novels for your Consideration, not The 5 Best Vampire Novels Ever Written, or some such nonsense.

And you can’t even accuse me of trying to sell you my book, because you can get it free right here.

So stop looking at me like that will ya?

Anyway, most likely you’ve already read the Joe Coffin books, and I don’t need to tell you about the vampires and the gangsters, and how it’s all set in the UK and filled with British snarky dialogue and smart comments, and sex and violence. And I don’t need to explain that there are no glittery vampires here mooning over their good looks and sex appeal.

Which gets me thinking, how the hell do those vampires keep themselves looking so beautifully turned out when they can’t actually see themselves in a mirror?

Whatever. I’m sure there’re more important things to be worrying about. I just can’t remember what they are.

Hello? Is anyone still here?

 

6. Caxton Tempest at the End of the World

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Hang on! Anyone would think I had lost the ability to count. But that’s not true, especially as we are still in single figures. (As soon as I’ve used up all my fingers that’s when I start to get lost, and I just can’t be bothered to take my socks off.) So yes, I do realise I have just placed a sixth entry in a list of five. And, not only that but also, it’s another one of my books.

Good grief, has this man got no shame? Or sense?

Now that you ask, to be honest, no I haven’t.

But that’s a post for another day as, right now, I want to tell you about Caxton Tempest.

This is one of my books that kind of gets ignored and forgotten about by a lot of people. I feel sorry for it. It’s like Brad Pitt had an ugly, mutated little brother who sprayed everyone with thick, sticky saliva every time he spoke and stuffed his hands down his trousers and scratched his arse in public. That’s right, if you were Brad Pitt you’d do your best to forget your kid brother too, right?

But Caxton Tempest at the End of the World isn’t like that. He’s potty trained and everything.

Caxton Tempest at the End of the World has a Victorian adventurer/sleuth on the trail of a vicious murderer, and it’s got vampires and demons and lots of gory action. And some martial arts. And a cowboy. Actually she’s a female cowboy, so what does that make her? A cowgirl?

Anyway, whatever.

There you go, folks. Five Vampire novels for your consideration. Except there are six. And two of them are mine. And two of them are not very good. And one of them I haven’t read yet.

You know, something tells me this blog post isn’t one of my best.

The post 5 Vampire Novels For Your Consideration appeared first on Ken Preston.

5 Vampire Comics You May Have Never Read

Aah, the 70s. What a glorious decade to be around. We had David Bowie, Star Wars, James Herbert and Stephen King, and in comics we had the mighty partnership of writer Marv Wolfman and artist Gene Colan.

Gene Colan is in my top ten of favourite comic book artists. His work is fluid and distinctly his. Back in the ‘Golden Age’ of comics Stan Lee used to order all the new Marvel artists to draw like Jack Kirby, to keep with the ‘Marvel Style’. But he made an exception with Gene Colan, recognising that the artist’s style was so original the directive would simply hamper him.

‘Gentleman’ Gene Colan as he was known by Stan ‘The Man’ Lee even turned the comic book panels into works of art, stretching and curving their borders so that they flowed across the page much like his drawings did.

My first exposure to Gene Colan’s amazing work was in The Amazing Spider-Man, followed by Doctor Strange and finally The Tomb of Dracula.

Yes folks, after 5 Vampire Movies You’ve Probably Never Seen and 5 More Vampire Movies You’ve Probably Never Seen, it’s now the turn of comic books and graphic novels.

1. The Tomb of Dracula.

How often has the bad guy been the lead of a comic book, I wonder. Probably lots right now, but back in the 1970s? It wasn’t until 1971 the Comics Code Authority relaxed their rules enough to allow vampires to be featured in comic book stories. Marvel jumped straight into this new freedom and brought out The Tomb of Dracula, featuring the descendants of the Harkers and the Van Helsings battling the undead Transylvanian Count, and sometimes even fighting with him against a common enemy. The entire 72 issue run was written by Marv Wolfman and illustrated by Gene Colan.

Dracula even made crossover appearances in other Marvel titles, meeting Spider-Man, Doctor Strange and the X-Men. It was also in the pages of The Tomb of Dracula that Blade the Vampire Hunter made his first appearance, which gets me wondering if Blade ever had his own comic. And if not, is he the only Marvel character to have his own films who didn’t have his own comic title?

2. Vampirella

Yowzers, would you look at that? That vampire is practically naked! And how can she stand up straight with those two massive . . .

Oh, sorry. I got carried away there for a minute.

Created in 1969 by Forrest J Ackerman, editor, writer and Esperanto enthusiast, Vampirella was born on the planet of Drakulon where the rivers of blood flowed freely through the lands until Drakulon’s twin suns started a drought and Vampirella came to earth to . . . to . . . oh I don’t know!

I mean come on, seriously? Does it matter?

Nobody ever read Vampirella for the plot or the back story, I can tell you.

When the Vampirella comic first started, the titular (sorry, couldn’t resist, the ghost of Frankie Howard obviously lives on) character was the hostess of standalone spooky tales of horror whilst also starring in her own story once every issue. The stories were terrible, the jokes were worse and you had to wonder why the comic was so successful.

Except, you don’t have to wonder too much, do you?

Vampirella was even turned into a film in 1996, starring Roger Daltry.

No, he didn’t play Vampirella.

3. Bat-Man

Wait? What? Why is Batman on this list?

Pay attention out there, I said Bat-Man, not Batman. Except I am talking about Batman, an alternate reality story that sees Batman investigating a series of grisly murders in Gotham where all the victims have had their throats slashed. At the same time Batman is growing stronger and more powerful and yet finds himself increasingly averse to sunlight, all while having dreams of a strange woman who visits him every night.

Come on Bruce, it doesn’t take a genius to figure this one out!

Yes, Batman is transformed into a vampire and finally his former friends, including Alfred and Jim Gordon, turn on him and hatch a plan to stake him through the chest to save Gotham’s citizens from their former protector.

Presented in the graphic novels Red Rain, Bloodstorm, and Crimson Mist, the Batman & Dracula trilogy is now available as a complete collection.

4. Morbius, the Living Vampire
“I drank the potion– even though it was untried– it was untested– because I wanted it to change me but– not like this! NOT LIKE THIS! ”

With that line, Stan Lee finished his 100 issue run as script writer for The Amazing Spider-Man, with a story titled ‘The Spider or the Man?’

But Peter Parker wasn’t the only one who had been testing home-made, life changing potions on himself. For in the very next issue (#101, are you keeping up?) he was going to meet Dr Michael Morbius, Phd, MD.

Hmm, that name doesn’t exactly trip off the tongue, does it? Except Stan’s still going for alliteration with his character names. Anyway, let’s refer to our esteemed doctor by his supervillain name, Morbius, the Living Vampire. Or, Morbius for short.

Similar to Vampirella, Morbius isn’t a vampire in the traditional sense. Instead of being bitten, Michael Morbius was born with a rare blood disease and concocted a home-made potion to cure himself and . . . Well, you can see where this is going, can’t you? He accidentally turns himself into a vampire.

By the way, I feel duty bound to point out to you here that unlike Vampirella, Morbius keeps all his clothes on and doesn’t get into fights wearing high heeled shoes.

Morbius went on to feature in his own title, becoming a brooding, gritty, hero or antihero.

As for Spider-Man, and what happened to him after he rather foolishly drank that untested, home-made potion, I’m afraid I can’t say. You see, on the first page of the story, Stan exhorts us “Whatever you do, do not reveal the shock ending to this story!”

5. Skinner Sweet

Written by Scott Snyder and Stephen King, American Vampire follows outlaw Skinner Sweet who is turned into a vampire whilst escaping a hanging in the Wild West. The graphic novels follow Sweet as he moves through the decades, changing his name to Jim Smoke and opening a brothel in Las Vegas. This series imagines a new species of vampires who are stronger and faster and impervious to sunlight.

This series of books looks very interesting, particularly with Stephen King attached to the first five issues, and Scott Snyder staying at the helm to write the rest. I will definitely search them out.

The post 5 Vampire Comics You May Have Never Read appeared first on Ken Preston.

5 More Vampire Movies You’ve Probably Never Seen

So, what did you think of all those vampire movies I found for you? Did you watch any of them?

I’m certainly going to give them a viewing.

I drew up a fairly lengthy list of films researching this topic, but I’m not going to go into them all in depth. If you want to take a look I’ve put the entire list at the end of this post.

Anyway, here we go with five more films for your consideration.

1. Andy Warhol’s Dracula

Andy Warhol is famous for his soup cans and Marilyn Monroe screen prints, but he also made films.

One of his most entertaining films ever is Empire, a single uninterrupted shot of the Empire State building with a running time of eight hours. Honestly it has more emotional depth than Avengers: Infinity War and makes Stephen Spielberg’s epics look like home movies.

You can watch the full movie here:

No? Don’t fancy it?

I don’t blame you.

(That’s right, I was being sarcastic earlier.)

Anyway, Andy Warhol’s Dracula has a lot more action going for it than Andy Warhol’s Empire.

This might be due to the fact that Andy Warhol didn’t direct Dracula, it simply came from his studio known as The Factory. If Andy Warhol had directed it I suppose it would have consisted of a single take between sunrise and sunset of Dracula sleeping in his coffin.

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Fortunately Andy Warhol’s Dracula was directed by Paul Morrissey, and the plot involves the titular count, who can only feed on the blood of virgin girls, heading for Italy due to a shortage of virgins in Transylvania. But once in Italy he finds there aren’t many virgins there, either.

Yes, Blood For Dracula, or Andy Warhol’s Dracula, or even Dracula is Searching for Virgins’ Blood, and…he’s Dying of Thirst!!! as it was titled in Italy, is a comedy. Udo Kier, a regular in horror films such as Suspiria and, err, Barb Wire with Pamela Anderson, plays the title role and Roman Polanski pops up in a tavern scene.

Here’s the trailer.

It’s a lot more fun than Empire.

And a lot shorter too.

2. Kung Fu From Beyond the Grave

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In dredging the bowels of the internet for unheard of vampire movies I found some pretty strange examples, such as Leonor by Juan Luis Bunuel, a Spanish-French-Italian co-production which is more about art than horror, meditation rather than scares. Not surprising really, as the director is the son of Luis Bunuel who, with Salvador Dali, made L’age D’or and Un Chien Andalou.

Anything like that, I left off the list.

If you want entertainment, and I mean bonkers entertainment, your best option is always, and I mean always, go for a kung fu movie, such as Kung Fu From Beyond the Grave.

Not so much a vampire movie as a zombie kung fu flick, this earns its place on the list by having Dracula turn up.

3. The Last Man on Earth

When you read the words I Am Legend, who springs to mind? Will Smith? Charlton Heston?

What about Vincent Price?

Yes, he is The Last Man on Earth, barricading his house at night whilst vampires (ghouls, zombies, it’s not really made that clear) roam the streets looking for blood to drink, and then spends his days gathering supplies and staking vampires. I hadn’t realised Richard Matheson’s novel had been filmed three times, and this one seems to have slipped into obscurity beneath its more famous cousins.

Worth a look, I feel.

4. Dracula, Pages from a Virgin’s Diary

All right, so you’re looking for a fresh take on the legend of Dracula. Well, how about a silent ballet? Shot in black and white.

Yes, you read that correct, a silent ballet.

Take a look at the trailer. You probably have your doubts about watching it (after all, you’re not here for the ballet, it’s the blood and gore and sex you’re after) but you might change your mind once you’ve seen the trailer. It certainly looks gorgeous, an absolute visual treat in sumptuous black and white. I might well give this one a watch myself.

5. Lemora: A Child’s Tale of the Supernatural

Well, here’s a strange one indeed. Made in 1973, Lemora is the tale of a prohibition era gangster’s daughter taken in by a mysterious woman, Lemora of the title, who is soon revealed to be a vampire. On its initial release, Lemora suffered with bad reviews and even a call for an outright ban from the Catholic League of Decency. It was finally released with a whopping thirty minutes cut from its running time and given a PG certificate.

From what I’ve seen of the trailer it looks utterly terrifying and surely deserves an 18 certificate. Which, according to its Amazon DVD listing, it has. Maybe that’s the uncut version. But the running time suggests it is the censored version.

Whatever, this one certainly looks to be worth searching out.

 

Here is the full list if you’re interested. I’m sure there are many more.

Thirst
Mr Vampire
Leonor
Fascination
Two Orphan Vampires
The Living Dead Girl
The Shiver of the Vampires
Lust of the Vampire
The Playgirls and the Vampire
The Hunger – Tony Scott
The Vampire Doll
A Vampire’s Tale
Shadow of the Vampire
The Addiction
Ganja and Hess
Vampyres
Martin
Vampyr
Nosferatu the vampire – 1922 and 1979
Vampire Circus
Yakuza Apocalypse
Planet of the Vampires
Lifeforce
Black Sabbath
Valerie and her Week of Wonders
Let’s Scare Jessica to Death
Goke
A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night
Black Sunday

The post 5 More Vampire Movies You’ve Probably Never Seen appeared first on Ken Preston.

5 Vampire Movies You’ve Probably Never Seen

Considering how many years I have been on this planet of ours, and how much of each of those years I have spent watching films and reading books, the list of films and books I have yet to see and read still remains enormous beyond my comprehension.

Of course this is a problem I can never overcome, a list I can never fully complete, with items left on it that will never be crossed off. And that’s because, more than ever before in our history, new films and books are being released at a rate none of us can keep up with.

It’s impossible.

That doesn’t stop me trying though.

So, this got me to thinking about all the vampire related movies and novels I haven’t seen yet.

And, as I like to do, I started making a list.

I now kind of wish I hadn’t, as the Herculean task of watching even a fraction of these movies is plain to see. Still, the genie, as they say, has been let out of his bottle.

Or perhaps we should say, the vampire has been let out of his coffin, and there’s no putting him back now.

The first vampire book I ever remember reading is, of course, Dracula. Critics can talk all they want about the book’s inadequacies, and Bram Stoker’s weaknesses as a writer of Gothic fiction, but Dracula as a book and a character, will always be at the top of any self respecting vampire lover’s list.

I bought Dracula through the school book club, but the second vampire novel I read I had to find and buy it myself. Salem’s Lot, by Stephen King, scared the living hell out of me, I can tell you.

But I was hooked.

Or fanged?

Whatever.

Let’s get back to that list, shall we?

I’m going to start with films. What follows is a very selective list of vampire films I need to see. I’m going to sprinkle a couple in there that I have already watched, and those, my friend, are recommendations of vampire films that you need to see.

1. Thirst

I’m ashamed to say it but, despite it having been released in 2003, I have still yet to see Park Chan-wook’s revenge thriller Oldboy, the film that catapulted the director onto the international stage. Park’s films are often full of lavish visuals, brutal violence, philosophical musings and twists and turns. So, who better to direct a vampire film?

Thirst is the story of a priest who becomes infected with a deadly virus that sees him become a vampire. I’m guessing that much philosophising on Christianity, redemption, the blood of Christ, etc, ensues between graphic scenes of blood letting, but as I haven’t seen it yet I can’t actually confirm any of that.

Here’s the trailer.

2. The Addiction

Here’s one I have seen, although it’s many years ago now. I’ve been a big fan of Abel Ferrara’s brutal, low budget musings on life and death for a long time. The director is so out there that he no longer has a North American distributor, but the French love him and that seems to be where he makes his films these days.

Ferrara began his film career with a porn film shot in his garage and starring his girlfriend and followed that up with the serial killer horror and video nasty that was Driller Killer. But his exploitation movie beginnings disguised a man who was obsessed with Christianity and the spiritual lives of troubled men.

Consider The Bad Lieutenant starring Harvey Kietel as a tormented, drug addicted, self-loathing corrupt cop who experiences a vision of Jesus whilst investigating the rape of a nun.

Or, let’s take a look at The Addiction which also examines the spiritual life of an individual through the lens of vampirism. Nowhere is Ferrara’s obsession with faith and redemption more explicit than in this film, in which the lead character of Kathleen must destroy herself in order to be able to live.

It’s in black and white, it’s not an easy watch and it’s got Christopher Walken so, you know, you need to see it.

3. Yakuza Apocalypse

You sat up a little straighter when you read that title, didn’t you?

Come on, admit it, you’re ready to hunt this film down and watch it without knowing a single detail more.

I’d love to tell you that I’ve already seen it, (especially as I am the author of the gangsters versus vampires series Joe Coffin) but no, I can’t. I aim to correct that oversight very soon though.

If you’re not convinced by the title alone (and really, if that’s the case what’s wrong with you?) then how about I tell you it features a character who transitions from tender, quiet romantic scenes with his girlfriend to blood-sucking vampire who is able to take a couple of slugs to the chest and dispatch the bad guys while his palms get so hot that they can literally cook an egg, along with a  dweeby-looking martial artist, a gun-slinging puritan with a coffin-strapped to his back, and an ass-kicking frog terrorist.

Yes, you read that correct.

4. Vampire Circus

If you thought midgets with painted faces and clowns weren’t creepy enough, how about a circus of vampires? Especially one that’s come to town intent on revenge for the killing of another vampire.

Besides reading Dracula I also grew up watching Hammer Horror films, but I’ve never seen this one before. In fact, I doubt I had even heard of it until I started researching vampire movies for this list. Hammer always made gorgeous looking films, especially their Gothic themed efforts and this one looks just as beautiful as their best.

Here’s another on my list of films I need to see.

5. The Playgirls and the Vampire

Made in Italy in 1960 by Piero Regnoli, The Playgirls and the Vampire looks more like a silent movie from the thirties when you watch the trailer. I’ve put this film on the list for curiousity value alone, but do I actually want to see it?

Hmm, I doubt it.

Here’s the plot: A troupe of European exotic dancers, their piano player and their manager stumble upon a castle during a thunderstorm and seek refuge. Of course the castle is inhabited by a vampire, and one of the five girls is the spitting image of his 200 years dead wife.

What follows has, apparently, less to do with horror than titillation. Maybe we should just watch the trailer and leave it at that.

That’s it for now, but I’ll be back next week with more obscure vampire movies and then we will move on to the books.

The post 5 Vampire Movies You’ve Probably Never Seen appeared first on Ken Preston.

What went well, and what didn’t

Well, would you look at that?

The final blog post of 2018.

How did we get here so fast?

2018 sure did seem to slip through my fingers pretty quick, like strings of wet spaghetti straight out of the pan.

via GIPHY

Or something.

But now that I’ve had a chance to sit down and take a look around, I can see that I am in a vastly different place to where I started from.

Like lots of people in this world, I tend to end the year reflecting on where I have been and where I would like to go next.

Let’s start at the beginning of 2018.

I had two books I needed to finish, another creative writing class to add to my roster of three already in existence, the limited edition hardback set of Joe Coffin Seasons One to Three to publish, a top secret project to unveil and one more thing which I didn’t mention.

Let’s start with that one, shall we?

The thing I did not mention because it was utterly ridiculous and unachievable.

I set myself the challenge of writing 1,000,000 words in 2018.

Stupid, right? Utterly, utterly stupid.

Well, guess what?

Yes, I failed.

Spectacularly.

So what am I going to do in 2019?

I’m going to set myself the challenge once more of writing 1,000,000 words.

They don’t have to be good words, and they still count even when I delete some of them at a later point, which I will surely do. And this time I am going to count blog posts, and maybe even my newsletter emails.

I’m also going public this year.

As you may have noticed.

I’ll keep you updated on how that’s going.

Anyway, back to 2018 and, seen as how I started at the end of my list, how about I continue in the same style and take it in reverse?

The TOP SECRET PROJECT.

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Well, that didn’t happen, either. 2018’s starting to sound like it was a real washout for me, isn’t it? But stick with me, it gets better. So the TOP SECRET PROJECT didn’t happen because, as usual, I tried to fit too much in to the tiny windows of free time that I had. But that’s not to say it won’t happen in 2019.

No, indeed.

The limited edition set of Joe Coffin hardbacks? Yep, I got those out. And damn proud of them I am too. I’m going to be setting up a new sales page for those limited sets in 2019, so keep your ears open and your eyes to the ground.

A fourth creative writing class? Yes that happened too. I now run two after school clubs, I lead a workshop once a month for teens at Kidderminster Library and an adult class at Kingswinford Library.

But the books! What about the books?

As I’m sure you already know, Joe Coffin Season Four was finally published at the end of November, and came out to some rave reviews on Amazon and Goodreads. The second book I intended on finishing before 2018 passed into the history books is still a work in progress though.

So, a mixed bag really. Some successes, some failures.

A bit like life in general.

Two particular highlights, and neither of them did I see coming, were being sent to Montova in Italy for a conference on young readers, and finally giving up my job to work full time as an author and creative writing teacher.

It’s pretty amazing what brilliant surprises life can have in store for you when you say yes to opportunities.

So what’s in store for 2019?

Let’s itemise it:

Write 1,000,000 words.
Finish my WIP, Planet of the Dinosaurs Book Two: The Journey North.
Write and publish Joe Coffin Season Five.
Write and publish Caxton Tempest number two.
Finish building a new YA website.
The TOP SECRET PROJECT.

How about you?

What are your goals for 2019?

The post What went well, and what didn’t appeared first on Ken Preston.

Welcome to the Party, Pal!

So, it’s official.

Or at least as official as these things ever are.

It’s a Wonderful Life has been voted Britain’s favourite Christmas film.

Now, I’m a big fan of It’s a Wonderful Life. And for many years I have gone along with the consensus that, like Home Alone, It’s a Wonderful Life is a Christmas film.

Maybe even the best Christmas film ever made.

Except, a few weeks ago, I continued Thing One and Thing Two’s ongoing classic film education, and sat them down to watch Die Hard.

And it hit me.

Of course!

Die Hard is the perfect Christmas movie.

Better even than It’s a Wonderful Life.

Now, before I go on to explain why, I just need to address the issue of why I showed Thing One (15) and Thing Two (12) an 18 rated movie.

I’m a big believer in age-appropriate censorship. But the BBFC model is a crude one, although it’s probably the best we will ever have.

As for Die Hard, I looked up the rating to find out why the 18 certificate had been given. It had been a long time since I had seen the film, so I wanted to be sure.

Sure enough, Die Hard contains lots of violent action (well, duh), swearing, brief nudity and drug taking.

My reasoning went like this:

Violence: As a family we watch Gotham every night, which has more violence than you could shake a sawn-off shotgun at, so that’s no problem.

Swearing: They both spend five days a week at secondary school, they will have heard every swear word going by now and maybe even used a few of them.

Brief Nudity: I dealt with that one in my post about Airplane.

Drug Taking: The scene is brief and the man doing the drugs is an idiot. It’s a classic lesson in DON’T DO DRUGS, ONLY IDIOTS DO THAT.

So, I couldn’t see any reason not to watch it. (I’ve since found out that Die Hard was reassessed by the BBFC in 2008 as a 15 certificate. I’m glad they agree with me.)

As you can imagine the boys loved it. Thing One in particular laughed out loud at some of the dialogue, especially the one where John McLane is trying to summon official police help via a restricted radio channel and is told off by the supervisor on the other end:

Supervisor:
Attention, whoever you are. This channel is reserved for emergency calls only…
John McClane:
No fucking shit, lady. Do I sound like I’m ordering a pizza?

Die Hard is one of the most entertaining popcorn movies ever made. It’s got action, laughs, suspense, quotable dialogue and a heartwarming family reunion.

via GIPHY

And, let’s be clear about this, it is also the perfect Christmas movie.

Far more so than It’s a Wonderful Life.

I love It’s a Wonderful Life. It’s a great film.

But a great Christmas film?

Nope.

Let’s look at the evidence.

Despite the heartwarming reputation it has built itself over the years, it is actually quite a dark film about depression and suicide.

And less than half of the film’s running time takes place at Christmas.

It’s a Wonderful Life is 2h 10m long, but the first mention of Christmas doesn’t even happen until the 1h 16m point. To be honest, It’s a Wonderful Life could be set at any time of the year. It really makes no difference, as the film centres on a man who has spent his life trying to avoid responsibility and failing, until he is driven to commit suicide. This happens to be on Christmas Eve, but that isn’t integral to the plot.

On the other hand, the plot for Die Hard revolves around John McLane returning to his estranged family to spend the Christmas holiday with them. What could represent Christmas more than that? And don’t forget, the entire film takes place on Christmas Eve, not less than half of it.

All the trappings of Christmas are there: snow, Christmas party, presents, decorations, mistletoe, and that final family reconciliation.

John McLane not only saves the day but makes it home for Christmas too.

So, forget what the BBC says, it’s settled.

Die Hard is the Greatest Christmas Film Ever Made.

Fact.

Merry Christmas.

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