Ken Preston's Blog, page 2

10 reasons why extracting your own toenails is preferable to writing a novel.

1  It doesn’t hurt as much.

I know, you don’t believe me. You think I’m just saying this for dramatic effect, or a cheap laugh. Or maybe I couldn’t think of what to blog about this week and so I came up with the most ridiculous post title I could think of and now I have to write the damn thing. Yes, well, you might be right on all of those points, or you might be wrong.

I’m not saying.

But regardless of the cheap laugh or lack of ideas for blog posts, there is some truth in this statement. Because writing can be bloody painful work sometimes.

Let me list the pain points for you.

Writing for a living often hurts financially.

Having to spend prolonged periods sitting in a chair and hunched over a keyboard hurts physically.

Having to fill the blank page day after day hurts mentally.

And sometimes, just sometimes, it hurts emotionally too. Am I the only author who has sat in front of a computer and sobbed helplessly? I doubt it.

2  You can have an anaesthetic before having your toenails extracted.

Look, let’s just forget the bit about why you would have your toenails removed in the first place. Because if you’re going to ask that question, you might as well ask why anyone would write a novel. You know what? I’ll get to that later.

You can have an anaesthetic for toenail extractions. You could have a general, and sleep through the whole damn procedure. You could have a local, and watch the whole damn procedure. Or you could have a spinal block and lie down whilst whistling a happy tune and having no idea what’s going on below the waist.

But when it comes to writing a novel, there is no anaesthetic available to numb the pain. Oh yes, many authors have succumbed to the bottle, and attempted to drown their misery in alcohol. But it never works. In fact, it’s counterproductive. The writing suffers, but the pain remains.

3  You can do without your toenails.

I mean, come one, what use are toenails anyway? At most I can only think that they serve a decorative purpose, and then only if you paint them and are prepared to display them to the world. Nope, toenails have no practical use whatsoever. None. Get rid of them, you won’t even notice they are gone.

But writing.

I feel faint at the very thought of not being able to write anymore. I know, some people claim I can’t write currently. Ignore them, they don’t know what they are talking about.

You see, I just have to write. All that strange, eccentric, dark, ridiculous crap that swims around in my head 24/7, it’s got to come out somehow. And if I couldn’t write it out I’d probably wind up wandering the streets, shouting statements like, ‘Brazil nuts live in fear of the zeitgeist!’

And you wouldn’t want that.

4  It’s quicker.

Seriously, writing a novel takes a helluva long time. Susanna Clarke writes one book every ten years. Imagine spending ten years extracting your toenails. With or without anaesthetic. Even in the shed at the bottom of the garden, armed only with a pair of pliers, you could still get those toenails off within an hour or two.

Try writing a full length novel in an hour or two. To quote Michael Gove,

Ain’t gonna happen, bitch.

5  It’s simpler.

See point number 4.

6  It’s probably more lucrative.

Seriously, it probably is. Who wouldn’t pay to watch someone pull out their toenails with nothing more than a pair of pliers and grim determination? Good old British grit, that’s what’s needed in situations like this. And the English like nothing better than seeing displays of British grit and determination. It reminds us of that time we beat Germany in the World Cup, and how we used to have this thing called a British Empire.

7  It could be a viral sensation on YouTube.

See point number 6. And, the internet was made for ridiculous stunts like extracting your own toenails. It’s a no-brainer.

8  The pain will take your mind off your existential crisis.

Can you imagine it? Sitting in the shed at the bottom of the garden on a chilly January morning, with nothing but a bottle of cheap vodka for company, armed with a pair of pliers and the knowledge that soon, oh so very soon, there will be blood everywhere and ten toenails scattered across the shed floor? You wouldn’t be worrying about climate change then, would you? Or the futility of life.

But writing a novel? Hell, us authors spend our lives examining the utter futility of our existence. This is what drives us to write. Take our existential crises away and we are left with nothing but the void to contemplate. And that void? It’s empty, man. It’s empty.

9  It’s more achievable.

And isn’t that what all the self-help gurus are telling us these days? That it’s better to try and fail than to not try at all.

What a load of horse shit. I bet they haven’t tried writing a novel.

Look, I’m going to let you into a secret okay? I haven’t managed to write a single novel in my entire life, and I expect that I never will. The Joe Coffin books? The My Weekly romances? Hah! They are all my abandoned children. Mutated, half-formed constructions that bear no relation at all to the glorious work of genius that I originally imagined them to be. It’s true, not one book I have written has ever reached the heights of brilliance I pictured in my head when I first had the idea for the story.

But extracting your own toenails?

Easy.

10 It makes more sense.

Yes, it does. I’ve just given you nine perfectly sensible and logical reasons as to why extracting your own toenails is preferable to writing a novel. Because, why on earth would anybody think that they should write a book?

For the money?

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!

You want money? Go get a job.

For the fame?

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha*takes breath*hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!

Seriously? Getouttahere.

 

There you go, that’s my advice for writers done with for today.

You wanna be a writer?

Bring me your toenails in a jam jar, and then we’ll talk.

The post 10 reasons why extracting your own toenails is preferable to writing a novel. appeared first on Ken Preston.

Someone I know took their own life recently

Someone I know took their own life recently.

I just found out a few days ago.

This person wasn’t a friend, more of an acquaintance. I think we all have them. Someone you’ve known for years, and you see each other by accident every few months or so, and you always stop for a chat and a quick catch up.

So, this person, this lovely, smiley, warm human being with a young family and many friends and everything to live for.

They took their own life.

I’ve been thinking about this person a lot this week.

I’ve done all the usual stuff. I’ve worked, and I’ve read books and watched some TV, I’ve laughed and spent time with family. A normal week.

A good week.

And I can’t stop thinking about this person.

And the family left behind.

I know what it’s like to reach that point where thinking about taking your own life becomes normal. Becomes a logical choice.

I’ve been well for many years now, so I don’t consider that to be an option any more. I don’t need it to be an option. And I can see it for what it is: broken logic, a way of thinking and reasoning that the brain is presenting as truthful and correct.

Death is the only option.

The world will be a better place without you.

This will end your endless pain.

And you won’t be a burden to anyone anymore.

And if you don’t do it, you’re a coward.

But the mind, and emotions, they are tricksters. They can lie to us. And we can get help, learn how to manage our thought processes, how to manage our emotions, see life from a different perspective.

I wish my friend had known this.

My heart breaks for this person. And the family.

This is all I can tell you this week.

Except, be kind and generous to each other.

Love you.

The post Someone I know took their own life recently appeared first on Ken Preston.

Some days don’t go to plan, but then some do.

Some days don’t go to plan.

Some days are endless tasks resulting in the distinct feeling that nothing got accomplished.

Some days seem to be one mishap after another.

And then there are those other days.

The days when everything seems to fall into place.

The days when it feels less like work and more like play.

I’m fortunate enough that I’ve just had two of those days together, one straight after the other.

Yesterday I ran a creative writing class of teens, in Kidderminster. Two hours on a Saturday afternoon, exploring creative writing.

For some teenagers this would be their idea of hell on earth.

But those teenagers don’t come to the Spark Young Writers’ Groups.

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This photo was taken just before they arrived.

Ten young writers, some of whom are going to be making a difference in the world, who are going to be ‘kicking up a ruckus,’ to borrow a term from Seth Godin. We are living in exciting times, and young people who can write, and write well and creatively, I believe they are going to be central to our future, and will be the ones best poised to take advantage of the connection revolution.

And we had a wonderful, two hour session yesterday. And felt like I was having far too much fun to actually be getting paid for doing this.

But keep that bit of news between us, okay?

This afternoon I was speaking at the Birmingham Literature Festival, on my participation in the Read On Anthology project.

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Four UK authors were commissioned to write a short story in collaboration with groups of children from secondary schools across the Midlands. I worked with a group of twenty students from Redhill School in Stourbridge, and wrote the story FallDeep.

The authors each read out a segment of their story and then we all took questions from the audience.

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And again, I had the best time in the world.

And that’s why today’s blog post is a little lighter on substance than it sometimes is. I’m tired, and I’m coming down from a heady buzz.

But I will be back next week, as normal.

In the meantime, I’m going to be writing.

The post Some days don’t go to plan, but then some do. appeared first on Ken Preston.

Win a Hardback Edition of Stephen King’s The Institute

That’s right, you can win Stephen King’s latest thrilling novel, in hardback no less, and a signed copy of Joe Coffin Season One by yours truly.

Yes, it’s an ultra short blog post today, because I wanted to point you in the direction of this fantastic giveaway.

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If you want to enter (and why wouldn’t you?) just follow the link to the giveaway page.

https://kingsumo.com/g/sxwsav/the-institute-by-stephen-king

And that’s it!

Good Luck!

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Guilty Pleasures #4: Q The Winged Serpent

A couple of weeks ago, Thing Two attended a magic conference with his granddad, which involved a couple of nights staying away from home. This is actually turning into a regular occurrence. Anyway, with Thing Two away, I asked Thing One if he wanted to watch a movie, in particular something that Thing Two might not particularly like. That way we could watch it in peace, and not have to listen to a plaintive little voice saying things like, ‘How much longer before it finishes?’

You see, Thing Two doesn’t like to miss out on anything, even if he’s not particularly enjoying it.

He also feels he is old enough to watch anything he wants now, including 18 certificate films, (he’s thirteen), because:

A, He’s had sex education lessons at school so he knows all about that.

B, He attends a secondary school, so he hears all the swear words every day.

In a way you can’t fault that logic, which is why I wound up caving in and letting him watch The Big Lebowski.

Anyway, Thing Two was away, and Thing One decided he wanted to watch Once Upon A Time In The West.

Obviously I was ridiculously proud of him, and we watched all three hours of it and he loved it and I loved it all over again. Well, except for some very outdated attitudes towards women, which had me squirming slightly.

The next night I decided his film education should finally embrace the more schlock, B-movie end of the spectrum.

And really, there was only one person to look to for that, and his name is Larry Cohen.

Thinking about his filmography, I did initially consider God Told Me To, but decided against it. Even at age fifteen I didn’t really think Thing One was ready for that one. It’s Alive was also out of the question, for the moment at least, and that left me with one choice:

Yes, we’re back again with those films I shouldn’t have enjoyed, but did. It’s Guilty Pleasures #4: Q the Winged Serpent.

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Michael Moriarty, Richard Roundtree, David Carradine, Candy Clark, Q the Winged Serpent is chock full of great B-movie actors. The film was rushed into production after Cohen was fired from directorial duties on I, the Jury. Having paid for a few weeks in his hotel room, and not wanting to see the money go to waste he quickly wrote a script, gathered a group of actors together, and shot Q the Winged Serpent in three weeks on the streets of New York.

Here’s the plot: Two New York detectives, Kwai Chang Caine and Shaft…no, wait, I mean…David Carradine and Richard Roundtree, are investigating a series of bizarre, ritualistic murders when reports start coming in of even more bizarre deaths. A window cleaner loses his head to start with and it just gets worse from there. Running parallel to this plotline, we also follow the adventures of neurotic small time criminal Jimmy Quinn, as he tries to extricate himself from the clutches of the Mob.

via GIPHY

Yes, it all comes together in a bloody extravaganza of CGI madness, except this was 1982, before CGI was invented. With its distinctly dodgy stop motion flying lizard and green screen effects, it would be too easy to write this film off as corny, so bad it’s good, entertainment. But, as always with Cohen, there are other attractions. The gritty New York streets for example, and the on location film work shot guerrilla style with people in the background unaware they are extras in a movie. And then there’s the chemistry between Carradine and Roundtree and Candy Clark’s sympathetic performance as Michael Moriarty’s long suffering girlfriend.

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Oh yes, Moriarty as Jimmy Quinn. You’ve probably never seen a performance like this one before. There’s a scene in a bar where Jimmy Quinn is auditioning at a piano for a job, but instead of playing lounge music like he’s expected to, he starts riffing and playing and singing scat instead.

And that, really, is his performance in a nutshell.

Q the Winged Serpent isn’t a great film, but it’s a lot of fun and I always admire Larry Cohen’s style of film making. The guy had a terrific imagination and a tremendous work ethic. And he sounds like he was a nice guy too. The reason he got fired off I, the Jury was because the production company was running out of money but still hiring crews for the work. Cohen knew a lot of these guys, had worked with them before, so he rang them and told them to get off the picture because they weren’t going to get paid.

Anyway, back to Thing One’s first experience with a Larry Cohen movie. I’m pretty sure he enjoyed it. He said he did, and he will watch anything I throw at him. I told him we’re going for the Seven Samurai at some point soon, and he just grinned and said, ‘Yeah, I’ll watch that.’

But there was one scene in Q where I felt a little uncomfortable. A young woman in a bikini decides on a spot of rooftop sunbathing. So she takes her bikini top of and starts massaging sun cream onto her boobs.

Again, I was cringing.

Thankfully, Thing Two hasn’t asked to watch Q yet.

But then he knows all about sex and he’s seen a pair of boobs before, so I don’t suppose there’s any reason why he shouldn’t.

 

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How can I find the answer when I don’t know the question?

I don’t usually come over all moist eyed and emotional on this blog, but there’s a first time for everything and it seems like today may be that time.

I’ve been a busy boy recently. I’ve got two novels on the go at the same time, (as in, I’m writing two novels simultaneously), and I have three books that I am currently reading.

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One of them is research. The other two are me trying to work some things out. I’ll leave it to you to make up your own mind which is which.

All this reading and writing though, it’s tiring my poor old brain out. I fell half-asleep the other day whilst writing an email, and I even pressed send. It’s a miracle I didn’t write complete nonsense, but I did have a few panicked moments while I checked my sent folder and read the email I had just pinged into the virtual atmosphere.

So why am I telling you all this?

I’m not after sympathy, if that’s what you’re thinking. But hey, if you want to send me some, I won’t refuse it.

And I’m not after recommendations for illegal drugs that will keep me awake for a month whilst typing at a thousand words per minute.

I think I’m telling you this because I kind of want to find a reason for what happened to me recently. Well, two things that happened, actually.

No, I’m phrasing that wrong. I’m trying to find a reason for my emotional response to two experiences I recently had.

But now I’m thinking, maybe I don’t need to find a reason.

Maybe this is just who I am.

You’d think I’d know who I am by now, wouldn’t you? But no, if I’m being honest with you, (and yes, today I am), it seems to me that the older I get the less sure I am of anything. Including knowing who I am.

And seeing as how I’m being straight with you today, let me tell you that that can feel quite lonely at times. So many people seem to be so damn sure of everything that sometimes it seems like a criminal act to actually say something along the lines of, ‘You know what? I’m not so sure about that.’

I’m surrounded by people shouting their opinions. Actually, no, not their opinions. These people don’t have opinions. They are simply right, and anybody who disagrees with them is wrong. The media, the politicians, the trolls, they’re all blurring into one.

And we are all just shouting at each other, and the person who shouts the loudest gets to claim that they are right.

That they won the argument.

So much noise, maybe that’s what’s making me tired.

And, seriously?

It’s not just this crazy idea that people have that the loudest will be proved right and win the argument. It’s the idea of there being winners and losers at all. Shouldn’t we be using discussion to figure out the answers, not force our own views on others?

But let’s move on. I didn’t even come here today to talk about this.

Let me tell you about these two experiences I’ve had.

The first was during the summer holidays. We travelled down to London to see School of Rock on the stage. You’ve probably seen the film. It’s great, and the stage show is great too. It’s a lively, feel-good couple of hours in the theatre that fly by.

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I loved it, but what really got to me were the children. We were sitting up in the balcony on the back row, so it was sort of hard to tell what age they were. But if I had to hazard a guess I would say they were around ten or eleven, maybe twelve. And they were brilliant.

Especially when it came to playing in the band. The important thing to remember here is that they all played their own instruments. One little girl with glasses played a bass guitar that was almost as big as she was, and she played it brilliantly.

It was the ending, when the kids are playing their big number in the Battle of the Bands, that truly got to me. They sounded so amazing I started to tear up a little. These kids were just having the best time of their lives, giving us a great time, and they were so good that the entire audience rose to its feet and gave them a standing ovation.

Wow.

The second experience I had was just a few days ago, when I traveled down to London again, (I’m starting to think I should just go and live there), but this time to run some workshops at a school for children with SEMH issues. SEMH = Social, Emotional and Mental Health.

As you can imagine, these young people were at the other end of the spectrum from the kids performing in School of Rock.

These young people had such a low level of self-esteem it was heartbreaking.

I’m not going to get into the details of the time I spent with them there, but it was challenging and the hardest gig I’ve ever had.

And I would go back in a heartbeat.[image error]

The staff were brilliant. And they celebrated the tiny victories we made on the day like we’d just won the lottery.

Now I’m back at home and I’m thinking about these two sets of young people, one group living a dream and the other group stuck in a nightmare.

And I just can’t stop thinking about them.

Writing this now, I’m reminded of those books I’m reading.

I guess it’s kind of obvious that I’m searching for answers, although sometimes I’m not even sure I know the questions.

And I’m thinking now, maybe I already know the answers. That maybe the search for answers to questions I struggle to articulate is the answer itself.

That maybe my emotional response to those two sets of young people is the answer I need.

The post How can I find the answer when I don’t know the question? appeared first on Ken Preston.

The Dinosaurs are Back!

Now just hold on one gosh darned minute!

A blog post?

On Friday?

What’s going on? I’m supposed to restrict my insane ramblings to a Sunday afternoon, right?

But if I’m posting on a Friday, does that mean there will be a second blog post on Sunday?

If so, that can only mean one thing: TWO BLOG POSTS IN ONE WEEK!

All right, let’s calm down.

There’s a reason I’m posting on a Friday, and that’s because I have news.

Over the last couple of weeks we’ve been looking at dinosaurs. We examined the early, silent era movies and in particular the work of Willis O’Brien, we looked at five dinosaur films you never want to see, and finally we had an interactive quiz to find out what kind of dinosaur you might have been.

And boy was that one popular!

Scary how many velociraptors there were, though.

Velociraptor! GIF from Sytycd GIFs

All these prehistoric shenanigans have been leading up to one thing.

The publication of my second novel in the Planet of the Dinosaur series.

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The story continues directly where we left off at the end of Book One: Project Wormhole. Our three teenagers, thrown twenty years into the future where dinosaurs rule, meet with more danger and excitement as they attempt to head north and the possibility of safety.

But can Lee and Will also rescue their friend Daniel from Renton’s clutches?

And how will they cope with finding out that sometimes not all monsters are of the prehistoric kind?

Advance reviews are already in, and they are great.

How about this one?

Take a little “Jurassic Park”, add in a heavy dose of “Willard”, mix in some “Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome”, and stir with “Terminator” and you have an idea of what to expect from this book!

Or this one:

The second book in the series and I have to say I am gripped. The action and suspense never lets up and you just don’t know what is going to happen next. Highly recommended.

Planet of the Dinosaurs Book Two: The Journey North is a young adult novel suitable for kids and big kids aged eleven to ninety-nine, and is available in Kindle, Kobo, and other ebook versions, as well as in paperback from Amazon.

AMAZON

KOBO

EVERYWHERE ELSE

And to celebrate the release of another chapter in this wild story, I am giving away a paperback copy of each of the first two books to one lucky winner. And, your very own baby velociraptor!

To enter, simply click on the baby velociraptor below.

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Good luck!

The post The Dinosaurs are Back! appeared first on Ken Preston.

What Kind of Dinosaur Are You?

Have you ever wondered what kind of dinosaur you might have been if you had lived in prehistoric times?

No?

That’s just me then.

Anyways…

We’re getting closer and closer, like a sneaky velociraptor, to the release of the book you’ve been waiting for all your life. Well, maybe not all your life, but possibly since 2016. What can I say? Some books take a long time to get around to being written.

Yes, it’s finally here, the sequel to Planet of the Dinosaurs Book One: Project Wormhole.

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Planet of the Dinosaurs Book Two: The Journey North, is rampaging into a virtual bookstore any day now.

And you need to be ready.

Like, dinosaur ready.

Take the quiz and find out what kind of dinosaur you might have been, and let me know in the comments.

The post What Kind of Dinosaur Are You? appeared first on Ken Preston.

Four Dinosaur Movies You Do NOT Want To See

As I mentioned in last week’s post, the sequel to Planet of the Dinosaurs Book One: Project Wormhole is all set for publication on the 6th September. The Journey North follows our three teenage heroes, as they continue to battle for survival in this scary new world of flesh eating dinosaurs.

There’s plenty of rampaging dinosaur action in the tradition of Jurassic Park and Jurassic World, and following on from last week’s post about the early pioneers of special effects in prehistoric adventure films I thought we should take a look at some more recent examples.

And to be honest, what’s not to like about sitting down with your favourite snack and drink (a Snickers bar and a strong black coffee for me, but I’m guessing your tastes are different) and watching a film about dinosaurs causing mayhem, death and destruction?

But believe me, there are some dinosaur movies out there you really don’t want to see. Not because they’re so scary, but because they are so downright awful.

And because I love you guys so much, I’ve gone and done the hard work of watching them for you, just to save you from the heartache and distress of having to sit through these woefully bad excuses for entertainment.

All right, let’s start with one particular movie that, considering the talent involved, should never have happened.

THEODORE REX

Have you ever woken up in the morning and thought to yourself, ‘You know what, I really fancy watching a film starring Whoopi Goldberg as a cop whose partner is a human sized, talking Tyrannosaurus rex,’?

No? Funny that, because neither have I.

The thing is, even if you did have that particular desire, I still couldn’t recommend Theodore Rex to you, as it is AWFUL!

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Even Whoopi Goldberg thought so, and that was before a single frame of film had been shot. Yes, she tried her hardest to get out of the contract, even going to court over it, but in the end she had to make the film.

You have to wonder what she thought she was letting herself in for when she first signed the contract. Didn’t she read the script?

To make matters worse, once the film was finished the distributor, New Line Cinema, agreed with her and decided to put it straight onto video rather than give it a cinema release. And when you think that the film had cost over $33 MILLION to make, New Line must have lost a lot of money on that one.

Look, I’ve tried my best to warn you, but if you really need to see this, well, here’s the trailer.

But don’t say I didn’t warn you.

CAVEMAN

The Beatles were one of the biggest bands in the world, and their influence stretches through the decades long after they split up, still working their magic to this day. John, Paul, George and Ringo were creative geniuses, even starring in a couple of critically acclaimed films back in the 1960s.

So it’s not likely that any of the Fab Four would turn up on a list such as this.

Right?

Err, wrong, actually.

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Back in 1981 Ringo Starr must have been either stuck for cash or very bored. Whatever the reason, it still shouldn’t have forced him into starring in this ‘comedy’ about cavemen and dinosaurs.

Yes, I’ve got the trailer for this particular debacle right here, but once more I am advising you to proceed with caution.

PLANET OF DINOSAURS

Next up is a low budget flick called Planet of Dinosaurs.

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Now, I hope you are paying attention out there. Notice I didn’t say Planet of THE Dinosaurs which, of course, is the title of my series of novels about teenagers fighting time travelling dinosaurs. You are reading those books, aren’t you?

Wait, don’t answer that.

Anyway, this 1977 film tells the story of a group of astronauts whose spaceship crash lands on an alien planet which happens to be inhabited by pink unicorns.

Nope, that was just me checking to see if you’re paying attention again. Thinking about it though, maybe this would have been a better film if the dinosaurs had been replaced by unicorns.

Or maybe the humans could have been replaced by unicorns, who then have to fight the dinosaurs.

Now that sounds like a film I would go and see: Unicorns V Dinosaurs.

All right, until that particular movie gets made, you’ll have to satisfy yourself with the trailer for Planet of Dinosaurs.

PREHYSTERIA!

What do Elvis Presley, Madonna, Mick Jagger, MC Hammer and Paula Abdul all have in common?

Yes, yes, I know they’re all singers! What else do they have in common?

Well, I’ll tell you. They are the names given to the five miniature dinosaurs in the film Prehysteria.

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Austin O’Brien (who also starred with Arnold Schwarzenegger in The Last Action Hero) finds some dinosaur eggs (of course, I mean come on, it’s happened to all of us at some point) and takes them home where they hatch. Fortunately they turn out to be miniature dinosaurs so they don’t grow up to be bigger than a house and then like, eat everyone.

Despite lukewarm reviews, Prehysteria spawned two sequels.

I’ll spare you the torture of watching those three films and leave you with the trailer.

There you go, four dinosaur movies that you need to stay away from.

Keep a look out for another post next week, with more details about Planet of the Dinosaurs Book Two: The Journey North, and a chance to find out what kind of dinosaur you might have been.

Did you know that if you support me on Ko-fi for only £2 a month, you will get a short story or chapter in a serialized novel at least once a month, every book I publish ahead of general release, and updates on what I’m up to, all exclusive to you?

No?

Well, find out more here:

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Willis O’Brien and The Ghost of Slumber Mountain

With a new Planet of the Dinosaurs book coming out soon, I’m going to spend the next couple of weeks talking dinosaurs, and more specifically dinosaur movies.

And we’re going to start with Willis O’Brien.

Have you ever wondered what dinosaur movies looked like before CGI was invented? Or even earlier than that, say before stop motion was pioneered?

Or how about before sound was invented?

Sound in movies, of course, not sound in real life. Which is just silly. Or a really good idea for a book.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, a silent movie featuring a dinosaur? Yes, it happened, way back in 1914 in the film Brute Force.

Directed by DW Griffith, who also made Birth of a Nation and Intolerance which are both highly regarded as cinematic masterpieces in their use of pioneering visual and editing effects but also controversial for their portrayal of black people, Brute Force’s plot involves two rival cavemen tribes fighting over women.

Yes, you heard me right. Two tribes of cavemen fighting over women.

And, looking at the first title card that appears at the start of the film, you don’t have to wonder what Griffith’s attitude to women was.

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But anyway, you didn’t come here to read about my views on marriage, so let’s move on to the bit about the dinosaur.

You can see it here, the very first time a dinosaur appeared in a film, over one hundred years ago. (Watch until the 6m 10s mark.)

It’s not exactly Jurassic World, is it?

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Four years later in 1918 a special effects pioneer by the name of Willis O’Brien made The Ghost of Slumber Mountain which is notable for being the first film to feature actors and stop motion creatures together on the screen.

You can see two dinosaurs fighting in the film here: (Keep watching until the 16m 44s mark to see the battle between two dinosaurs, and to see the T rex lick its lips!)

Did you see it? I seriously doubt that a T rex would lick its lips after killing a stegosaurus. In fact, did a T rex even have any lips? I think that is such a great shot, though. Willis O’Brien stretching what was possible at the time and having fun too.

Now maybe you are possibly thinking those dinosaurs looked a bit rubbish. And you’re right, compared to today’s CGI monsters they look pathetic.

But, as I said before, (you were paying attention weren’t you?) O’Brien was a pioneer in special effects and pushing the boundaries of what was possible in the movie going experience.

To go and see something like this in 1918 would have blown your socks off.

O’Brien went on to create the stop motion dinosaurs for the film The Lost World, and you can see from this trailer that his techniques had improved amazingly. (Watch the entire trailer, it’s brilliant. And look out for the T rex.)

Still nothing by today’s standards, you might be thinking, but it was because of movie pioneers like Willis O’Brien and many others, that we have the spectacular dinosaur adventure films that we enjoy today.

In fact, Spielberg put affectionate references to other dinosaur movies into Jurassic Park, in particular Gertie the Dinosaur, and King Kong on which O’Brien also worked.

We salute you, Willis O’Brien.

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