Sophia Henry's Blog, page 2
May 13, 2017
How #Bekindlovehard Happened
~ Author Unknown ~
I chose my tagline for multiple reasons. This post will give you a bit more insight. I'm finally ready to share my story, because I believe vulnerability helps more people than keeping it all inside ever will. And I truly believe my mission in life is to help people through my words and by being an inspirational and motivational person. I'm not famous by any means (hahahaha) but I do have a platform, and I chose to use it for good. :)
I had to confront my past before I could learn to love myself--to love others--to open up and truly empathize with other people. I've done this before, with trusted friends, or people who I connected with. I’ve decided to do it today—on Mother’s Day no less—because I realized you, my dear readers and followers, don't know anything about me except what I make publicly available. I mean, sure, I post on social media often. You’ve seen my humor. You’ve seen my books. Hell, you’ve recently seen me going through a separation.
But I haven’t shared my background yet…and the reasons I write my stories the way I write them. Every single book I write has a journey. And every single book has a bit of me in the heroine. It may be a large part—like Auden in DELAYED PENALTY—or a small part—like Gaby in POWER PLAY. But all of them have tiny bits of my story or personality weaved through. It brings authenticity to my writing. A realism that may be different in the genre I write in.
So here’s a REAL, heavy post for you. I thought that maybe if I shared my story, it might help others—even one person—and opening up would be worth it. Maybe this will help more people connect with my books (and with me) and make others see why I like to keep positive and be kind to people. You never really know what someone else has been through, right?
So here it goes...
I was abandoned by my “father” (sperm donor) before I was four years old. Left. Adios. Never to be heard from again. I had the “normal” questions. Why? What made him leave? What went wrong? I know he went on to have another family--that he stayed with. So why didn't he want to be part of my life? In my head, the only answer was ever ME. It was my fault. Something was wrong with me. I wasn't good enough. Before the age of four, I learned that men will leave me. Without a word, without an explanation.
My mother was shot and killed right in front of me when I was six-years-old. Yes, right in front of me. As a child, unable to fully comprehend death, I learned that relationships are not permanent. I grew up a walking contradiction. A person who desperately wanted to be loved and committed to, but I wouldn't allow anyone to get too close because I believed everyone I loved would leave me someday. Why put myself out there to relationships? Even to friendships?
I was sexually abused by a family member before the age of eight (I honestly don't know the exact age, as my brain has permanently blocked it). I have only ever told four people that in person. I confided in the adult I trusted most right after it happened. The advice was: “Stay away from him.” I don’t know if anything happened after that; if there was even a confrontation or a discussion with my abuser. I consider myself "lucky" as it was only once. My heart bleeds for the people who had to endure that hell multiple times.
What I learned was to be afraid of men after that. I refused to be alone with a man, even my guardian, whom—I want to make perfectly clear—never touched me. I learned that after a few years the whole thing must have “blown over” for anyone who knew, because I was forced to interact with my abuser and his family when he came to town. And I did it, because I was enough of a burden and troublemaker for my guardians, why cause more anxiety?
But what I also learned was that no one was going to protect me--even if I spoke up. No one was going to save me. So I withdrew. And I got angry. And I grew a tough layer that I refused to let people poke through for most of my life. Because trusting people caused humiliation, shame and pain.
People have called me a bitch because I’m quiet when I first meet others. People have said they didn’t think I liked them because I don’t open up easily. People have criticized my parenting. But they don’t know that I don’t have a mom to call and ask for advice. And if they do, well that’s a kick in the she-balls, isn’t it?
I can’t change what people think, but I wish they wouldn’t be so quick to judge. They don’t know that I've battled anxiety and depression since I was a child. They don’t know that I still weep for the advice of a mother that I never knew. They don't know that I don't think that I'm worthy of being loved. They don't know that I still battle with shitty self-esteem and horrible trust problems.
I’m much older now, but the pain of my past is there, a wound that throbs every once in awhile, like the soccer-related knee injury I complain about on rainy days.
I’m not sharing this for pity—or attention. I’m sharing because the issues I write about in my heroines are REAL. I know how Auden feels about being a motherless daughter, being abandoned, and being a burden to her caregivers. Like Gaby, I have experienced the shame and humiliation and embarrassment of getting drunk at a college party and being raped.
Some people are quick to judge, but you never know what someone has gone through or is currently going through. The most put-together, seemingly happy person can have a past so dark you wouldn’t believe.
Now, I think I blend in for the most part. If you ignore the nose piercing and pink hair--I look like any other woman at the local coffee shop. I was married to a good guy. I have two gorgeous kids. I rent a beautiful house in a nice, safe neighborhood. Before I chose to stay home to raise my kids—and write books—I had a managerial position in the corporate world making $50K+ a year--the "breadwinner" of my family at the time.
But by the time I was six, I thought that everyone I loved would abandon me. And by the time I was eight, I thought that anyone I trusted would hurt and humiliate me. Those “truths” shaped my adult persona. As anyone can attest, changing deeply ingrained beliefs is difficult, but not impossible.
But I’m trying—every fucking day. With every day that passes, I continue to grow, learn, and flip those old "truths" into new truths. I’ve finally found friends I can confide in, people who appreciate me for who I really am. I REFUSE to be a victim or use my childhood as an excuse. I choose to be the light. One of my favorite lines I've ever written was in UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT: "I just want to be the light that someone will remember long after I'm gone." That's the mark I want to leave on the world. I hope people in enjoy my books—but my true hope is that I help at least one person with my words, my honesty, my kindness. Love isn't hard.
In telling my story, here and through my characters, I hope we all learn to be a little less judgmental. That we should give people a chance. It’s true that “our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for what we become.” (Author Unknown) And that we can become anything, no matter what circumstances defined us in the beginning of our lives.
Have you had to—or wanted to—confront anything from your past? I’m always inspired by stories of bravery. I want to hear your stories. I want to write our stories! Comment below—or send me an e-mail—as I know not everyone wants to be as public.
KEEP FIGHTING! You're not alone.
October 25, 2016
WE DID IT AGAIN!! THANK YOU!
I feel like Dora and the gang with that post title, but it's true and I'm dancing around happily to this uber-annoying song!
YOU have helped me reach my goal of donating $500 to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, the charity I selected for UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT, in the very first week of the book being on sale!
That's the FOURTH time in FOUR books releases that I've been able to make my donation within the first week of release! That is so unbelievably spectacular!! I don't have the words to express how humbled and grateful I am to each one of you.
Sometimes I think: How can I --one tiny human being on this gigantic planet--make a noticeable change in the world? Then I realized, I may not be able to make major changes, but if I can make a small impact to those around me--and help others make a small impact--we WILL see that. Someone WILL benefit from that.
We can't give up. We can't surrender. We can't stop because it's too hard or because we can't see the impact. It's happening. And if more and more of us make our small contributions we WILL see the larger impact. Our children WILL see it. We WILL be able to say that we had a hand in making the world a better place. Just by being a good person. A compassionate person.
You don't need to have a lot of money. You just need to have the drive. And the heart. And the vision to support people who are working for good.
Even if it's just buying a book. Or downloading a song. Or buying a certain brand because they give a portion of proceeds back to something.
You are making a difference. You are helping. You are a super hero!
"To every single person who lives their life with love, respect, and compassion for all.We can change the world. Together. #BeKindLoveHard"~From the UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT Dedication Page
May 3, 2016
Welcome to my blog...
Glad you're here. Sit down and click around.
April 18, 2016
WITHOUT BORDERS by Amanda Heger ~ Virtual Tour
The sun'll come out tomorrow... WANNA KNOW WHY?
Because WITHOUT BORDERS by Amanda Heger releases tomorrow! It's a must read.
Keep scrolling for my review and a Giveaway!WITHOUT BORDERS
For Annie London, a month in a Central American rainforest means handing out mosquito nets, giving medical aid, and teaching children about the birds and the bees. With any luck, it will also land her application in the “accepted” pile at a top tier medical school. But as soon as she steps off the plane, Annie realizes her bug spray, feeble Spanish, and medical supplies won’t help her deal with her new feelings for Felipe—her best friend's older brother, who's much hotter than she remembers, and who also happens to be the doctor in charge of the trip.Gawking “volun-tourists” may keep his family’s medical clinic afloat, but Dr. Felipe Gutierrez doesn’t have to like them. Or the way they make snap judgments about his practice and the people he cares for. But when his old crush, Annie, shows up to volunteer, her killer curves and kind smile fan the embers of a flame Felipe didn’t realize he’d been carrying. A flame that makes him question all his preconceived notions.
As ideas and cultures clash, Annie and Felipe must decide how far outside their comfort zones they are willing to go—both for their work and for one another.BUY WITHOUT BORDERS Amazon // B & N // Google Play // iTunes // Kobo
I loved this book. Loved it. Beautiful writing with warmth and wit. Complex, likable characters. Heger's debut rocked my world.
This book hooked me from the blurb and kept me going until the last page. I love the fresh setting of the story and the dynamic, diverse characters. The setting is so beautifully written that I felt like I’d been to Nicaragua (I have not.) It’s rich and authentic from the scenery to the people.
Heger is one of the wittiest writers I’ve read. Her humor is sharp and fun and will have you laughing out loud at all the right parts. It’s great craft when an author can slip in lines like: “My vagina!” and it totally fits in the plot/scene. Seriously. It’s not a throw away line for a cheap laugh. Heger proves throughout the story that she is a master of comedic writing for the situation.
But WITHOUT BORDERS not a comedy. It’s a beautiful story about opening your mind and opening your heart. Throwing away preconceived notions and stereotypes and letting the beauty of people from other cultures into your life. Acceptance and love.
Annie and Felipe were real, believable, and so DAMN cute. Every interaction made the proverbial butterflies in my stomach flit around. I couldn’t wait for them to get together. And can I get a “Hell yes” for Dr. Felipe? Thank you, Ms. Heger, for writing a multidimensional diverse hero. Felipe was kind, intelligent, and brooding…which adds up to so super sexy.
Final notes:
1. Amanda Heger owes me new glasses. Read this book in one day. Started in the morning (then I had life stuff to do) and finished it in bed, where I proceeded to read until all hours of the morning and drop my iPad on my face. So yeah, couldn’t stop reading.
2. Pork Sword. That is all.
I received an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.About the Author
Amanda Heger is a writer, attorney, and bookworm. She lives in the Midwest with three unruly rescue dogs and a husband who encourages her delusions of grandeur.Her debut romance, Without Borders, is forthcoming from Diversion Books. The story was inspired by the summer Amanda spent inrural Nicaragua, eating gallo pinto, speaking mangled Spanish, and showing high school students how to slide condoms onto over-sized plantains.
Her stories are represented by Jessica Watterson of the Dijkstra Literary Agency.Connect with Amanda Website // Facebook // Twitter // GoodReads Giveawaya Rafflecopter giveaway
April 8, 2016
Things I'm Proud Of...My Readers
And THIS post?
And THIS PAGE on my website?
Don't worry, you don't have to read every post...I'll remind you
I vowed to give the FIRST $500 in royalties from each book in the Pilots Hockey series to charity. The charity chosen for the book is always featured in the acknowledgements section. Thanks to YOU, we did it.
DELAYED PENALTY Charity: Open Arms Grief Support
administered by the St. John Providence Health System in Detroit, MI.
POWER PLAY (1 of 2 Charities): RAINN.orgThe nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization.
POWER PLAY (2 of 2 Charities): Earthworks Urban Farmadministered by Capuchin Soup Kitchen in Detroit, MI.
Be Kind. Love Hard.
Love Always Wins. There's a reason for the mottos I use.
It's what I want people to know about ME.
It's what I want people to know about YOU. :)
It's what I want the Pilots Hockey series to be remembered by. Want to keep the Giving Going?
You can pre-order INTERFERENCE here: US:
E-book: Amazon // iBooks // Barnes & Noble // Kobo // Books-A-Million // Google Play
Audio Book: Amazon // Audible // Tantor // Barnes & Noble // Books-A-Million
Canada:
E-book: Amazon // Chapters/Indigo
Audio Book: Amazon
UK:
E-book: Amazon
Audio Book: Amazon Thank you for your support of my books!
YOU ARE AMAZING!
Let's Be Kind and Love Hard together.
February 23, 2016
#SophiaSelfie Contest for Hockey & Heels Attendees!
Post a selfie with the Sophia Henry swag you receive at the event and use the hashtag #SophiaSelfie. I'm picking 5 winners! 1 GRAND PRIZE$25 Gift Card (of your choice!)
AND e-copies of DELAYED PENALTY & POWER PLAY,
the first two books in the Pilots Hockey Series.
4 MORE WINNERS will receive e-copies of
DELAYED PENALTY & POWER PLAY To be entered you MUST use the Hashtag:
#SophiaSelfie ***Facebook, Twitter or Instagram***
Contest runs until: February 24, 2016 at 12 pm EST.
February 9, 2016
Teaser Tuesday Goodreads #RomanceWeek16
Today is Teaser Tuesday
I'm posting a teaser from POWER PLAY, Book 2 in the Pilots Hockey Series. POWER PLAY
comes out on February 16th, 2016.
Landon laughed. We stepped outside together. “What do you miss the most?”
“My bedroom.” The wonderful memories my old room filled me with warmth. “Oh, Landon, I don’t even know how to explain it. Papa built my bed to look like a castle. It took up an entire wall.” I spread my arms to demonstrate the enormity of the structure. “A wide, short staircase led up to the second bunk. It looked like I stood on the balcony of a castle when I was on the top bunk. And next to the staircase was a tall, white bookshelf with a pink turret on top. There was one on the other side by the slide, too.”
“The slide?” Landon asked, feeding my excitement.
“Yes. A fat, stubby little slide.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, as if the air outside an abandoned train station held magical molecules that could transport me back to a time when I’d been a tiny princess in an enormous castle. “And between the bookshelves, there was a rounded opening, like the entrance to a castle, that led to the lower bunk. I had to sweep aside a sheer, pink drape to get in.”
“Sounds amazing.”
Landon’s voice brought me back to the present and I reluctantly opened my eyes.
His eyebrows were scrunched together and a small smile sat on his lips. “I can’t see you with a princess room.”
“Well, Papa built it for me to use when I left my crib. I suppose I was getting a little old for it when the fire happened,” I admitted, feeling like a complete baby. Does a girl ever outgrow a castle? I don’t think so. We just want bigger. Less pink, more granite.
“What does your room look like now?”
“I miss my Harry Potter books the most, though,” I continued without answering his question. “I mean, they were all first edition since Joey got the new book every time it got released. I could easily buy another set at a bookstore, but those were perfectly worn by three grubby Bertucci kids’ hands.”
Landon slid his hand in mine as we walked to where he’d parked. “You miss books the most. Can’t say I’m surprised.”
The warm feelings from my trip down memory lane melted and disintegrated, just like everything had in the fire. Back to reality.
I squeezed his hand and whispered, “Don’t make fun of me.”
“I’m not.”
We stopped in front of his car. Landon set his hands on my hips and lifted me onto the hood. “You are the last person I’d ever make fun of, Gabriella Bertucci.”
And then this might happen...
Tweet, Share, Send me questions. Use the hashtag: #RomanceWeek16.
I'm excited to chat with you guys!
January 8, 2016
WIN a FREE REGISTRATION to the When The Heart Dreams Romance Readers & Writers Mixer
Want a chance to win a free registration* toWhen The Heart Dreams
Romance Readers & Writers Mixer
and spend the day with Sophia? Click Here! Romance Readers & Writers Mixer Weekend
When The Heart Dreams Conference
When: February 5th-6th, 2016
Where: Renaissance Charlotte Southpark Hotel
5501 Carnegie Boulevard
Charlotte, NC 28209
Reservations : 704-501-2510
www.renaissancecharlottesouthpark.com
Join Sophia & other fantastic authors at the first ever
When The Heart Dreams Conference!
For more upcoming signings and events, click here. Hope to see you soon!
*Prize is for one registration to the When The Heart Dreams conference in Charlotte, NC (valued at $179). Travel and accommodations are the responsibility of the raffle winner.
December 30, 2015
ALTERED by Marnee Blake - Release Week Blitz
I received an advanced copy and read it in one sitting.
Will properly review later, but here's the info:
ALTERED by Marnee Blake
When "normal" ends, survival begins...The sickness came on suddenly and violently. When it was done, waitress Blue Michaels was different in a really strange way. And the entire town of Glory was dead...except for her.
Only that's not exactly true. A handful of people made it, including U.S. Army Specialist Seth Campbell, who was caught in the wrong town at the worst time. He's fierce and protective, and way too good-looking. As much as they need a leader—as much as Blue wants to trust him—there are too many questions and not enough time for answers. Now they are hunted. But what their pursuers don't know is each of them has strange new powers. And they'll use their "gifts" to survive...no matter who stands in their way. BUY ALTERED About Marnee:
Marnee Blake was a 2014 & 2015 Golden Heart® Finalist and holds a BA in English literature from Dickinson College. She used to teach high school students but these days she only has to wrangle her own children.
Originally from a small town in Western Pennsylvania, she now battles traffic in southern New Jersey where she lives with her hero husband and their happily-ever-after: two very energetic boys. When she isn’t writing, she can be found refereeing disputes between her children, cooking up something sweet, or hiding from encroaching dust bunnies with a book.Marnee's debut, ALTERED, a NA sci-fi romantic thriller, released in December 2015 from Entangled Publishing. Connect with Marnee: Facebook // Twitter // Pinterest
November 18, 2015
INCONCEIVABLE by Tegan Wren ~ Blog Tour ~ EXCERPT & GIVEAWAY!
I'm so excited to be on the Blog Tour forINCONCEIVABLE by Tegan Wren.
This was another one of my favorite books of 2015!!
A popular, young royal couple can't produce an heir? INCONCEIVABLE!When Ozarks native Hatty goes “whole hog” during karaoke, she catches the eye of Prince John. He isn’t what she expects the heir to a small European nation to be: he's affable, witty, and isn’t put off by her tell-it-like-it-is demeanor. Their flirtation should be short lived, but a force stronger than fate—Hatty’s newspaper editor—assigns her to cover the royals. After spending time together, she and John soon begin dating, and Hatty finds herself making headlines instead of writing them.
But challenges loom that are even more complicated than figuring out how to mesh Hatty's journalism career with life at Belvoir Palace. Hatty and John soon find themselves embroiled in an unusual sex scandal: they can't produce an heir. Tabloids dub Hatty a “Barren-ess,” and the royals become irate. Hatty politely tells them to shove it. But beneath her confident exterior, she struggles to cope with a heartbreak that invades her most intimate moments with John. Pressured to choose between invasive medical procedures and abandoning John’s claim to the throne, the couple feels trapped until a trip to Ethiopia shows them happy endings sometimes arrive long after saying “I do.”
He leaned closer and sang softly. I recognized the opening lyrics to Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’.” His singing voice was soulful and sexy, and something deep inside me responded, making my heart beat a little faster.
He stopped and looked me in the eyes. “That song’s about someone who’s alone. But that’s not you. You’re too lovely to be lonely.”
A nervous laugh escaped my lips. “Are you kidding? Aren’t we sitting in a sanctuary for the lonely?”
“I don’t feel lonely right now.”
“Me either.” I blew into my mug, then took a sip. “Have you had one of these?”
“I don’t think so. What is it?”
“It’s called a chocolate kiss. It’s peppermint schnapps and hot cocoa.”
He reached over and picked up the steaming mug. His movement conveyed authority while his neat fingernails screamed uppity. They looked better than mine, damn it. After taking a long pull from the cup, he handed it back. Our fingers brushed together, sending a flash of heat through my body.
“Thanks for sharing a kiss with me,” he said, reaching over and lifting my chin.
Our eyes met, and I couldn’t tear myself away from his gaze. Yowza. Was he going to kiss me? Did I want him to?
“You guys know each other?”
I flinched at Plato’s words―I hadn’t seen him coming toward us―and pulled back. I sloshed a healthy dollop of my drink onto Farmer Joe’s pants. We both reached for the stack of napkins, but I got there first.
“Sorry. Here, let me,” I sputtered, dabbing at the wet patch.
I blotted along his pants, and my hand moved a little too close to the inside of his leg. A burning sensation rose up behind my ears. “Umm. I’ll just let you do it.”
I dropped the wad of damp napkins onto his open palm. Glancing at his face, I saw a half smile. I closed my eyes and touched my forehead, gently rubbing the area above my eyebrows as I always did when embarrassment overwhelmed me.Buy INCONCEIVABLE
Meet Tegan Wren
The best compliment Tegan Wren ever received came from her sixth grade teacher: “You always have a book in your hand!”Guided by her love of the creative process, Tegan grew up acting in theatre productions and writing poetry, short stories, and plays. She turned her eye to writing about real life when she worked as a journalist, producing reports for various radio and television stations in medium and large markets in the Midwest and also filing some stories for a major national news network. Wren has both a Bachelor’s of Journalism and a Master of Arts in Communications. After completing her graduate degree, Tegan had the opportunity to teach journalism courses at a major state university. She absolutely loved training the next generation of journalists.
Tegan’s thankful that she’s had the opportunity to travel overseas, and uses those adventures to inform her writing. She also draws inspiration from her own struggles, joys, and other life experiences. Tegan and her husband, Patrick, experienced infertility for five years before becoming parents through adoption. Because she understands the financial stress of the infertility journey, Tegan is donating half the royalties from her book to Baby Quest Foundation. This charity awards grants to people all over the U.S. for fertility treatments. Tegan is thrilled to use her story to help other people find their happily ever after.Connect with TeganWebsite // Facebook // Twitter // GoodReads // GIVEAWAY //
a Rafflecopter giveaway
