Evil Editor's Blog, page 83

March Adness Continues

Round 1, Day 5 
Vote for your faves in the comments. Votes will be secretly compiledOnce we're down to 32 ads, we'll start round 2.
Voting remains open on all games
until the entire round is posted.

Click on ads to enlarge them. 

"BLOG" BRACKET (Bottom Half)
Game 17: Phone vs. Infinity








Game 17: Diet vs. Croissant 








Game 17: Breakfast vs. Severed Head





Game 17: Sauna vs. Friends

March Adness Continues

Round 1, Day 4 
Vote for your faves in the comments. Votes will be secretly compiledOnce we're down to 32 ads, we'll start round 2.
Voting remains open on all games
until the entire round is posted.

Click on ads to enlarge them. 

"MISCELLANEOUS" BRACKET (Top Half)
Game 13: Roses vs. Beach




Game 14: Tattoo vs. Cafe





Game 15: Daydream vs. Coaster




Game 16: Welder vs. Juices

March Adness Continues

Round 1, Day 3 
Vote for your faves in the comments. Votes will be secretly compiledOnce we're down to 32 ads, we'll start round 2.
Voting remains open on all games
until the entire round is posted.

Click on ads to enlarge them.


"PRODUCTS" BRACKET (Top Half)
Game 9: Baby EE vs. Fire







Game 10: Chefs vs. Look of Love





Game 11: ePod vs. Eau de Toilet





Game 12:  Ink vs. Spew Shield

Face-Lift 1251

Guess the Plot

The Door

1. It's 2020, and the last living member of a seminal 60's rock group wants to go out with a bang.

2. One by one the members of the 1960s rock band "The Doors" are murdered. Seventy-year-old guitarist Robby Krieger is the last man standing. It's kill or be killed.

3. Alternate history in which Jim Morrison, instead of starting a band, goes on American Idol hoping for a solo career, but finishes ninth.

4. Cindy Sanders' garden is her pride and joy. Black spot, snails, and weeds are dealt with with ruthless efficiency. But when an enormous red door appears in her rose-bed, she isn't quite sure how to handle it. Especially as the door leads to an inter-dimensional hothouse full of brain-sucking slugs and elephant-sized greenflies.

5. Subject 00EG417 awakes locked inside a sterile white room. With no food or water, and needing medical attention, she must get out. But will she be any better off on the other side of . . . the door?

6. A former Wiccan turned prep school admin Chloe 'Rainbow' Rowe discovers that Fate closes one door to open another when she is forced to return to abandoned practices to fight off demons that try to take over the Holy Lady Prep School



Original Version

Dear Evil Editor

It’s been ninety-seven days since subject 00EG417 awoke from [in] her pod. Thousands of feet underground, locked inside a sterile white room, [waiting for the sun,] she is safe from the sickness above. The doctors that made her and the other engineered humans watch over her. [That sentence could mean the doctors and the other engineered humans are watching over her. If it read: The doctors that made her watch over her and the other engineered humans, there'd be no ambiguity.][Anyone who spends ninety-seven days watching someone in a sterile white room would have to be nuts. But then . . . People are strange.] 

Then the power goes off and the doors open like gapping [gaping] mouths, ready to swallow her up. She steps out into a white hallway and finds the others. [The others being subjects 00BS624, 00BP666, 00UV435, 00FH451, BH90210, and 00U2INXS.] They wait for doctors that never come. There is no food or water and one of the boys is vomiting blood. The sickness is here and they will die within days without help.

She steps into a labyrinth of laboratories, larger than she ever imagined. [That suggests she knows she's in a labyrinth of laboratories, but imagined it was a smaller labyrinth. How does she know it's a labyrinth of laboratories at all if she's never actually been outside her room? If I woke up locked in a sterile white room I'd assume I was in a psych ward or a weird prison, not a small labyrinth of laboratories.] In every abandoned and destroyed room she finds more dead. The doctors have been executed and they could be next. To survive, subject 00EG417 will have to find the door to the above [, break on through,] and face a world she knows nothing about. [Why does subject 00EG417 have to  do this? Can't all the subjects work together?] 

THE DOOR is a 60,000 word YA Sci-fi.

Thank you for your time and consideration. [The End.]



Notes

This didn't really light my fire. I mean, I want a query to touch me.

Seems kind of inefficient to keep these engineered humans thousands of feet underground for 97 days, but to not have any food or water there. Why are there no faucets for drinking and bathing? And a storeroom filled with food? Or at least a snack bar? Are there bathrooms? Don't the doctors need a bathroom occasionally?

I'm not clear on what an engineered human is. Were they engineered to be immune to the sickness? Because it doesn't seem to have worked.

You've basically set up the situation subject 00EG417 finds herself in. We want to know what her plan is and why it fails and what she does about that. What you've told us could all take place in the first few pages. I want to know what happens in the first 40,000 words.

There are few places on Earth that are thousands of feet below the surface. Just digging that far is hard enough without putting a large labyrinth of sterile laboratories down there. Of course anything's possible in science fiction, just hoping the book has an explanation for why they need these labs so deep.

Obviously we can't tell if a book has "white room syndrome" until we read the text, but declaring in the query that your character wakes in a sterile white room will convince some readers that it does. If you could describe the pod and tell us what's in the room and leave out that it's a white room, it might get you past those readers who will say Aha! White room syndrome! Next query.

March Adness Continues

Round 1, Day 2 
Vote for your faves in the comments. Use any criteria you wish.I won't actually post your votes, as they might influence later voters, but I will compile them.Once we're down to 32 ads, we'll start round 2.
Voting remains open on all games
until the entire round is posted.Click on ads to enlarge them.


"BOOKS" BRACKET (Top Half)
Game 5: Old Brit vs. Young Blonde







Game 6: Passengers vs. Decision








Game 7: Sales Kid vs. Bathroom Guy







Game 8: Classics vs. Masters

MARCH ADNESS! Round 1, Day 2

March Adness Continues. 
Vote for your faves in the comments. Use any criteria you wish.I won't actually post your votes, as they might influence later voters, but I will compile them.Once we're down to 32 ads, we'll start round 2.
Voting remains open on all games
until the entire round is posted.Click on ads to enlarge them.


"BOOKS" BRACKET (Top Half)
Game 5: Old Brit vs. Young Blonde




Game 6: Passengers vs. Decision



Game 7: Sales Kid vs. Bathroom Guy



Game 8: Classics vs. Masters

March Adness Begins

Round 1, Day 1

Yes, it's time for March Adness. 64 ads competing for the top prize:an appearance in a major publication.
We have four brackets.

The Blog Bracket (ads about EE and his blog)The Book Bracket (ads for EE's books)The Product Bracket (stuff EE endorses or sells)The Miscellaneous Bracket (other ads)
On each of the next eight days I'll post half of a bracket.Vote for your faves in the comments. Use any criteria you wish.I won't actually post your votes, as they might influence later voters, but I will compile them.Once we're down to 32 ads, we'll start round 2.
Voting remains open on all games
until the entire round is complete.Click on ads to enlarge them.

"BLOG" BRACKET (Top Half)
Game 1: Bubble Bath vs Magic Lamp




Game 2: Joyous Woman vs. Big Ben





Game 3: Mime Trio Vs. Water Cooler




Game 4: Smitten Kitten Vs. Sexy Dude

MARCH ADNESS, Round 1, Day 1

Yes, it's time for March Adness. 64 ads competing for the top prize:an appearance in a major publication.
We have four brackets.The Blog Bracket (ads about EE and his blog)The Book Bracket (ads for EE's books)The Product Bracket (stuff EE endorses or sells)The Miscellaneous Bracket (other ads)
On each of the next eight days I'll post half of a bracket.Vote for your faves in the comments. Use any criteria you wish.I won't actually post your votes, as they might influence later voters, but I will compile them.Once we're down to 32 ads, we'll start round 2.
Voting remains open on all games
until the entire round is complete.Click on ads to enlarge them.


"BLOG" BRACKET (Top Half)
Game 1: Bubble Bath vs Magic Lamp




Game 2: Joyous Woman vs. Big Ben





Game 3: Mime Trio Vs. Water Cooler




Game 4: Smitten Kitten Vs. Sexy Dude

Sherlock Holmes vs. EE

Click strip to enlarge.


Evil Editor Strips Again. Available at the EE Bookstore.

Feedback Request

The author of the book featured in
Face-Lift 1182 has submitted a new version:



Okay, so I've done a pretty major revision of this story. I've also written a totally different query, coming at it from another angle. So please let me know what you guys think of this one:


Dear (agent),

Eighteen-year-old Enid Apcarne is going insane. Literally. It started a couple days ago, about the time her younger brother got kidnapped by vampires. She’s trying to find a way to save him, but the invisible bugs crawling under her skin just won’t let her focus.

Turns out, the madness is a symptom of a genetic condition known as ‘being a Seer.’ When her sanity returns, it comes with uncontrollable new powers. With one touch, she can see a person’s past. Cool in theory, not so much in practice.

Question is: will her new powers help her find the vampires and rescue her brother—or will they only get in the way? With both their lives on the line, all she can do is find out.

BASICALLY HUMAN is a 100,000-word urban fantasy about family, sacrifice, and the realization that loved ones are only human—even when they’re not.

Sincerely,