Evil Editor's Blog, page 410

Face-Lift 670

Guess the Plot

Whiz-Bang Fantastic

1. Dashiell Colourful is an extraordinary gentleman: charming, refined, affable, a sharp dresser . . . in a word, whiz-bang fantastic. Yet he's bored with his life--until he finally meets someone who's neither whiz-bang nor fantastic. Also, a talking fox.

2. Egbert Ostlethwaite's Family Fireworks Company has been failing for years. Now it's on the verge of bankruptcy, and everything hinges on whether Egbert's sons, Toby and Trevor, can rediscover the secret recipe

Cartoon 463

Caption: Anon.

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.

Writing Exercise

The day may come when you must speak to a group of people about Evil Editor. Perhaps you'll be asked to introduce him as the keynote speaker at a writing conference. Perhaps you'll be giving his eulogy. If I were you I'd put something together now instead of waiting till the last minute.

300 words max.
Deadline Sunday, 10 AM eastern.

New Beginning 680

Listen to me.

I jogged onto Main Street, into the chaos of ordinary life and away from the silent, empty suburbs. A yellow taxi blared its horn.

Listen to me.

I hummed a tune. Its name, its lyrics, its notes didn't matter; all that mattered was the vibration in my throat and jawbone and ears. Some friends waved me over to where they sat outside a café, and I joined their circle. I swished tea through my teeth, laughed at clever jokes, and talked about nothing for upwards of an hour. A pigeon landed

Cartoon 462

Caption: Anon.

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.

Face-Lift 669

Guess the Plot

Love Ya Mouse

1. Improve your computer's performance through romance! This handy manual will show you how to smooch your monitor, seduce your motherboard, and of course . . . love ya mouse.

2. In a Disney World restaurant Dave witnesses a customer's complaint that the chicken hasn't appeared, by which he means Donald Duck isn't on the scene. Realizing something should be done about ignorant and obnoxious theme park patrons, Dave complains to Mickey Mouse. But Mickey just calls him a

Cartoon 461

Caption: anon.

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.

Q & A 173

I foolishly submitted a short story to a magazine I'd never read. Their description of what they wanted sounded like a match, but when I later found a copy of the magazine I realized that I'd misinterpreted the guidelines. I didn't like their stories and I doubt that they'd like mine. They take over 6 months to respond to submissions. I've just found another magazine where my story might fit better. Can I write to the first magazine and withdraw my story without getting put on a magazine ed

Success Story

D Jason Cooper, author of numerous openings, several of which have been made into Evil Editor Films, reports: Ruthless Peoples Magazine has published my flash fiction, "Zombie Consciousness". It's free to download.

I'm sure the muttonchopped editor whose brains get eaten isn't based on anyone in particular.

New Beginning 679

July 1304

Bishop Lamberton grasped his squire by a shoulder, pushing him toward the open doors at the end of the long, high-arched hall. James twisted out of Lamberton's grasp and whirled to face him. A youth of sixteen, dark-eyed and slender as a knife, James flushed with anger.

"I won't swear fealty to him."

Lamberton sighed. For an obedient lad, James was being amazingly difficult. "James, do you want your lands back? Your father's title?"

James drew himself up. "You know I do. I must have them."