Sally Clarkson's Blog, page 93

It's A New Year: Own Your Life! & New Podcast 2020

Show me, O LORD, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life." Psalm 39:4

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I have put one more Christmas to rest and now another year is upon me. I see more clearly, the older I get, that life is indeed a passing story where I have the opportunity to live in such a way that my story can be one of pointing to God's goodness, His faithfulness, His kingdom, His ways.

But to live a story well, I must make choices every day to live with integrity and love, being intentional in my commitments.

This holiday season was one of the best I remember for a while. Seems all the kids have snuck into adulthood while I was busy and they have become strong and established in their own personhood. It is sweet tasting to my heart and soul to see them love each other, prefer each other, wanting to be together and affirming each other in our presence--even amidst small and petty arguments, natural personality conflicts and differing opinions.

After all, we trained our children to think, to be convicted, opinionated, and so they are. But their preference for each other as best friends and the "holiness" of our family community eventually trumps the differences that are natural.

If I ever wondered if all the work of training, loving, correcting, and serving my children was in vain, I now know that it made a difference--that God was indeed at work using a small vessel like me to fill and form their souls. Throughout all the years of fussing and tension that existed in normal life, I didn't know they would end up such great friends--Simply amazing and wonderful--take hope!

One morning after a past Christmas vacation, a phone call from a grateful child filled my heart. "Mom, you cooked and cleaned and served a lot this Christmas--but we were all watching and it went deep into my heart. The messages you shared and the devotions we had while we were home penetrated deep places and I just wanted you to know your labor has not been in vain. I love you and appreciate you more than I ever have."

Some thoughts have bubbled up during their time at home......

Discipleship is never over.

In the midst of the busy days, I was sequestering each child by themselves to pour in vision and encouragement and words of life and exhortation, because I know more than ever how short my time is--and I know that they all have many voices in their pathways vying for attention.

And so I remind them, "How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the path of sinners, but His delight is in the law of the Lord" and then over coffee and laughing and sharing hearts, I remind them again to seek the still small voice and the holy way above the other noises of life--and to seek to see His fingerprints and heartbeats.

Another thought is how my family fills my cup, and lives a reality that blesses me and renews my own courage and faith, as I want to be strong because they believe that I am strong. As our family has practiced the presence of Christ, His words, His feasts, His love, His truth, His mission as a way of living every moment together, we have become a strong fellowship of Christians moving toward similar missions of glorifying Him together.

Sometimes when I am exhausted, like now, and have lived through a looonnnnggggg year of trials, I am tempted to compromise my ideals--just a little here and there without noticing.

But that is not His way, and I do not want to capitulate to the ways of weariness. And so amidst serving them, I was called to a higher standard just by hearing them talk and dream and idealize--those I have served are now serving me and exhorting me to hold fast and stay the course!

Here are some questions I had as I took a few days away with the Lord at the beginning of the year: What work do You have for me this year? How can I serve Your purposes? What do I need to correct? How can I better serve You? Show the light of Your life onto all the hidden places of my heart and let me give all of them to You.

I want to hear Him, His voice, His priorities.

I have found over the years that many people seem to know "God's will" for me and are free with advice. But I want to hear Him, follow Him and please Him. I am feeling the rumblings in my heart to pull back further from culture and expectations of others to have more time intentionally to invest on those areas that are on His heart, and to make sure I have time with real live people to be personal and focused in my love. But before I make any decisions, I must go to Him to hear His voice.

And so, today, I wish you a blessed year, a time when you can see His love and commitment to you and hear His voice of wisdom and compassion.

And along the way, may you have a lot of fun and enjoy this life He has placed into your hands.

Be blessed, my friends.

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A Yearly New Years' Tradition: Decluttering Your Soul (with Podcast!

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What a whirlwind of life has been swirling inside the walls of my home. everyone lounging constantly, strung with legs over squishy chairs, snuggled on couches, sitting in my living room in front of a crackling fire, loudly discussing every possible subject passionately from the political state of countries, movies, favorite songs and more. Feasting and drinking at every possible hour has left many dirty dishes around, crumbs, and food has been consume4d at an alarming rate, only to need replacing from one more trip to the grocery store and one more making of meals.

My children are my treasures, but this mama has limits and as I come to the end of a constantly filled house, I always become weary and my spirit takes on the fears, worries, guilt, and pressures of those around me. I have not had enough time by myself and always find myself in desperate need of time alone, which has been rare.

I must get away, alone if I am going to survive. No one else can evaluate how I am doing—only me, with the help of the Holy Spirit and a place to listen to my soul.

But I relish being in a room by myself, filled with shimmering candles dancing all about the room, a strong cup of tea or coffee (or both before my time is over!) and a journal, Bible and a couple of favorite books.

Each year, on New Year's weekend, I get away to a private place whatever it takes, to view the state of my heart, mind and soul. This year, it seems I was carrying a lot inside that needed to be put in the file drawers of heaven. But, when I leave my past burdens in the file drawers of heaven, and by faith, trust God to move generously in my new year, I feel lighter, and ready to see what He will provide for me in the new year. Every year, I share these thoughts that I hope will give you a fresh wind blowing through your soul.

Proverbs tells us to “Guard our heart, for from it flows the springs of life.”

If we do not keep our heart free from those things that would bring darkness, discouragement, criticism, fear, despair, we will not be able to accomplish all of the other tasks we have planned for our year. He must be at the center of our peaceful and trusting heart. But even as in marriage or parenting or friendship, as issues must be communicated and discussed, so our heart issues must come to the light and be talked about with Him, so that we can declutter our souls.

Snow blew through our whole area today and it gave me some time at home to begin my yearly tradition of planning my priorities, commitments and goals for a new year. Each year I write about how God has led me to de-clutter my heart, mind and soul. I hope it will encourage you to do the same!

There is something uniquely good about January 1. It marks a new year, a new beginning, a new possibility. It also marks, for me, the reentry into simplicity. I don’t know if there is a more satisfying feeling for me during the year than when we put all of our Christmas things away, the decorations, the remnant of cookies, the clutter. We did that in my home, today. I have also been revisiting an article that I rework every January 1, as it is a pattern I seem to keep needing to learn.

Every year for the past few years, I have pondered and written about de-cluttering my soul. I hope you will be blessed by these thoughts. I am pulling away for a few days, once again, to see what needs to stay and what needs to be cut. And so I am deliciously excited to take time alone to get back to my soul.

I love the celebration of life and the traditions and the fun and the beauty of special times spent with my children, husband and friends. But, there is something deeply satisfying to me about getting it all put away and getting back to normal.

Perhaps it is because my normal responsibilities of caring for my family’s needs demand so much of me—cooking nutritious meals, organizing our schedules, cleaning and organizing on a daily basis, homeschooling and add to that ministry—these are enough, but holidays put on that extra load. Routines go by the wayside and so the clutter and demolishing of the house, slowly takes over.

I am not a person gifted in handling details—too much mail, too many catalogues, too many emails, too many options, too many things. The more there is, the more I become responsible for, the more work there is to be done, and so, the more anxious I become. Same with activities.

And the past few years, I have had too many opportunities and too much work to occupy almost all of my energy and time. How does one say “no” to ministry, to needs, when they are all around.

The more I commit to, the more I say yes, the more I have to drive, the more my house gets into a mess, and the more anxious I become, the more hurried we feel, and the more weary I become. When I am not at peace, nothing in our home is at peace.

We can all see how too much clutter and too many piles causes us to feel overwhelmed with life. Consequently, slowly, I have learned to declutter as often as I can—throw away unnecessary stuff. Clay is really the master at this. He helps me get rid of things, organize things and put away things. Yesterday, he decluttered our pantry—threw away chip bags that held little but took up space, cleared out empty water bottles, bad, junky Christmas candy that had been given to us, but would never eaten; baskets that had fallen off of their nails, groceries that had never been put in their place. Now, if someone came into my pantry, they would mistakenly think that I am an organized person. (Thank goodness for Clay!) It made me feel good just to open the door and to see that all was manageable again.

But, I have also come to realize that my brain and heart can be the same way---cluttered with worries, responsibilities, duties, children’s future, finances, time constraints, expectations, disappointments, critical attitudes, resentment. All of these added together, can tend to create soul piles and mind clutter. If I don’t take the time to sort the piles of mind clutter, my spirit becomes a mess and my heart becomes overwhelmed and weary.

It is what awakened me at 4:00 a.m. this morning-soul clutter and worry. It is another reason I like January. It gives me an opportunity to make a new plan, to simplify the mind messes and to start off a whole new year well. In the same way that throwing away stuff and clearing out closets brings me relief, even more, soul and mind cleaning and decluttering brings me rest.

So, as I begin a new year, and head into my conference season, a very busy time for our family, I resolve to deal with my soul-clutter, so that I may have strength to face each day in peace. I come to the place where I know I will find the help that I need. I come to my Father and ask Him to help me, His child, to show me how to make get rid of the junk that is unnecessary, and to help me clean out and organize my soul.

He speaks to me gently.

It was in writing my book, Dancing with My Father, that I have learned so much about finding joy--and peace. In Him, with Him, by Him all the moments of my busy day. His voice leads me to what I long for--but I must get rid of all that causes me to fret, worry, criticize, control. There is a way....

“In quietness and rest shall be your strength.” Isaiah 30:15 You need to come to me and give me all those things that are weighing on your heart. Resolve to seek rest and peace.

“Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29

I listed all of my issues this morning in my journal (and there seem to be multitudes of clutter piles in my soul--worries, attitudes, bitterness, weariness, fear, sin and a few more!) These are issues that will suck me dry and my energy dry if I do not notice them in order to clean out my soul!

The Lord prompted, "List all of your issues, give them over to me, don’t hold on to them. I am capable of taking them from you and being responsible so that you will not be weary or carry what you are not capable of carrying.

"Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him. “ Psalm 37:7

Focus on resting in me—sit in my lap, so to speak, rest in my arms. Let me carry you. I love you.. Wait for my timing. Don’t force things or beg me to hurry up. I am in control.

“Be still (cease striving) and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10“Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with his mother;Like a weaned child is my soul within me.” Psalm 131:2

Give me your attention and get control of your spirit. Be quiet. Be still. Recognize my sovereignty and transcendence. Remember what Jesus said, “Our Father who art in heaven, holy is your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” Jesus modeled his understanding that my will is what you need to rest in. I am in heaven and I see all things—the future, the past, your children, your relationships, --all your clutter. Give them to me. Quiet your soul and rest in my strength and power.

“Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives one little child like this receives me.” Matthew 18:3-5

Come to me as a child—even as your children, in their innocence and sweetness of heart, know that you will care for them and meet their needs because you are a loving parent who cares for them, so I am your Father who will take care of you. Leave the burdens to your father and take your rightful place as a child. Humble yourself and trust me. Enjoy me. Delight in the beautiful moments of this day. Notice the little miracles. Live as an unfettered child. Accept your little and big children and receive them as a gift from me, and your will indeed receive me into your midst.

“ ... a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.” I Peter 3:4

“Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about so many things. But really one is needed and Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.” Luke 10 41-42

Don’t worry and fret and stew and stir up unnecessary dust. Choose simplicity—just one thing I require—that you give it all to me and love me. I will take over. Even as I gave and provided a Sabbath in which all of my children should have rest from their work, so I want you to live in my Sabbath rest for your soul. Rest from your striving and labor. Take time for naps, for pleasure, for joy. This day you have to receive as a gift--I can't promise what tomorrow will hold. But today you can love, give peace, speak kind and wise words, dance in your soul with my secret pleasure that comes from knowing that I love you. Simplify your life, don’t make choices that will complicate or add unnecessary pressure or cause you to sin or grumble. “Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life,” as Paul said.

So, as I yielded my lists into God’s hands and de-cluttered my troubled soul, I left feeling that even as my house has been coming to order, after we cleaned and straightened it yesterday, now my soul is moving in the direction of order.

How should I declutter my soul?

Check your heart for any guilt or unconfessed sin. I have found that letting God erase my weight of real or false guilt, helps me to admit with God that I need Him, His grace and His forgiveness.

Are there any hurts, burdens, fears, worries from the past year that you are carrying on your own shoulders? Write them down, give them over into God’s hands and ask for practical wisdom about how to handle it. Pray from your heart about how you need help.

Are you carrying any bitterness that is stealing from you? When we do not give forgiveness or accept the limitations of a circumstance or person, we are the ones who suffer the most. Be humble, give up bitterness, revenge, a gossiping heart and mouth.

What are some dreams or ways you need to see God help you? Ask Him to provide for you—what is on your heart.

Are you cherishing the world or worldly things too much? Is ti keeping you from being close to Him, from developing righteous values? What do you need to change to move toward a closer walk with God? books? conference? daily time?

Be yourself. Don’t carry the burden of comparison to others or a phantom that makes you think you should be a certain way. Be free, live in grace.

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A People to Belong To: Pillars of Strength & Joy and Sally Podcast

Every year on Christmas, we have a feast for a breakfast and take a million family photos.

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Belonging to each other

"Mama, I can't wait to come home and just be together as a family."

With the chaos of voices clamoring for our soul allegiance, the pressures to conform to cultural values, the constant compromise of moral values, the redefining of family structure, the world can be a calamitous, draining and confusing place.

Satan who comes as an angel of light is always seeking to draw away the allegiance of every human being from the values of the kingdom of God and our heart allegiance to God our creator and King.

Home fires, traditions shared, meals eaten in fellowship together over the messages of life, values upheld, histories made and the stories of them told and celebrated are the roots that go deep into the heart of a child to keep them tethered to the truth of the Gospel and the foundations of faith.

It is our history and roots that keep us faithful and give us the strength to refuse the draw of Satan, the temptation of the world to compromise our ideals or to relinquish our faith.

Nathan was talking to me last night and asked, “Mama, who are your very best friends, who encourage you spiritually, who hold your values, who add to your life?”

I didn’t need more than a second to answer, “Next to Daddy, you all are my best friends and I would do anything to be with you because you keep me going forward in my life, my ministry, my heart.”

We craft the beauty of the kingdom of home, so that our children and our husbands; so that we have a place to belong, a history to uphold, a purpose to guide our decisions and our ways. The accountability of a family who loves one another and says, "I am here for you. I believe in you. I need you. I will help you love God more each day. I will share any wisdom when I can be of help. I will choose to spend time with you and make memories because you are important.I will help you," and this calls to the desires in each person to a place where they are valued and where they belong.

The life of our home is not just about "house beautiful", but it is a "life" that draws the heart to all that is true. The crafting of our home life validates the reality of God's love and redemption in a place that satisfies a soul that longs for stability and foundations that cannot be shaken.

So day to day, is not merely about correcting immaturity or organizing meals, it is about the Life of Jesus incarnating the moments with love, truth, beauty, faith so that every child who leaves its walls will always have a place to come home to and feel that they will always have the gift of belonging to a people, a history and a place that is safe and strong.

Today, in my podcast, four areas that start with “p” that are pillars upon which to build your life, your home, your values, so that you will be able to sustain the building of your own home and legacy. It will be one of the best works of your whole life.

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I Wish You Peace This New Year & New Podcast

Rembrandt on Jesus in the midst of the Storm

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Storms will assault our lives. We feel the storms of culture, of politics, of battles in our homes with sinful, immature people, (including us), in church, in almost all of the aspects of life. Yet, Jesus was the storm calmer. This year as I go into my new year, I am pondering how to allow Him to calm my storms, to give me perspective on how to see the circumstances of my life.

I have been thinking about Him, weary from ministry, constantly surrounded by the companionship and noise and engagement of life with young, bold, opinionated men and women. Yet, He, sleeping, quiet, at peace in the storm. Like a baby, warm, deep breath sleep, soundly at rest--restoring, trusting, fret-free existence in the calm of slumber.

How? How did He find rest? I want that rest.

Perhaps, He, Knowing that his beloved Father loves him and will care for Him. Knowing the Father knows all things and is the transcendent, creator, ruler, compassionate, trustworthy One gave him the ability to put all of his anxiety and worry in the capable hands of his Father, and he found the peace, the space to allow His body to rest. .

In my storms, I am timid, fragile, fearful, doubting. 

He knew I would need Him, picturing for me the peace that passes understanding amidst the gales and torrential, unrelenting issues of life, so that two thousand years beyond I would have a image of what it means to rest in the storm.

"that they may know that you have loved them, even as you have loved me." John 17:23--He who loved and cared for Jesus in his storm, loves me just as much.

He who was with Jesus, is with me.

leaving me a psalm, a song to know I am secure:

1He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High          Will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.      2I will say to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress,          My God, in whom I trust!"      3For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper          And from the deadly pestilence.      4He will cover you with His pinions,          And under His wings you may seek refuge;          His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark.      5You will not be afraid of the terror by night,          Or of the arrow that flies by day;      6Of the pestilence that stalks in darkness,          Or of the destruction that lays waste at noon.      7A thousand may fall at your side          And ten thousand at your right hand,          But it shall not approach you.      8You will only look on with your eyes          And see the recompense of the wicked.      9For you have made the LORD, my refuge,          Even the Most High, your dwelling place.      10No evil will befall you,          Nor will any plague come near your tent.      11For He will give His angels charge concerning you,          To guard you in all your ways.      12They will bear you up in their hands,          That you do not strike your foot against a stone.      13You will tread upon the lion and cobra,          The young lion and the serpent you will trample down.      14"Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him;          I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name.      15"He will call upon Me, and I will answer him;          I will be with him in trouble;          I will rescue him and )honor him.      16"With a long life I will satisfy him

         And let him see My salvation."

Psalm 91

He is still the calm in the midst of storms, the peace and rest in the torrents, the comfort and lover and One who is powerful above all and still says to the powers that threaten, "Be still."

So, today, I am seeking to be in that vortex of peace, beauty, rest, calm because He is here with me.

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Being Present, Engaged With Our Children

It is easy to imagine that everyone else’s life is better, more organized, calmer, less demanding than our own. I sometimes want to bristle when, after returning home from a trip, people say to me, “Well, you have been back a couple of days. Have you enjoyed relaxing time?”

Do mama’s ever get to relax? Since Joel and Joy have returned home and now Nathan and Keelia, I have been on a constant, “Spend time with me, Mama. We have so much to talk about.”

But, I have noticed that I am still the chosen confidente, the chosen secret bearer, the mentor. When you have a discip[ling-mentorship perceptive in life, there is always a moment when wisdom, encouragement, truth needs to be passed on, when messages are needed in hearts weary from living in a taxing world. But I consider it a real privilege to still be a mentor in my adult children’s lives as all of them have big decisions, big arenas with great consequences.

Yet, our “closeness” and my right to be a voice in their minds came about by being intentionally available, present, personally responsive to them when they were little. The right to speak into our children’s lives comes over years of being available.

I learned it from Jesus, who spend 3 years to win the hearts of his own disciples.

I remember a time when this was especially brought home to me some years ago.

Half past ten in the evening found me downstairs, dragging my weary body on a tour of my four children's bedrooms to say good night. I had been up since four that morning, and all I could think of was my own bed and how I longed for sleep. Nathan's room was my last stop, and I hoped for a quick good-night so I could finally be through with this stress-filled day.

It was the Christmas season in a new home. All four of my children were lonely, missing the familiarity of friends and the flurry of activity that normally comes with the Christmas bustle.  But thirteen-year-old Nathan, in his extroverted, adolescent-hormone-filled body, had been hit the hardest.  Though he has a heart of gold and was trying hard to use self-control, he had a puppy-dog look in his blue eyes that begged for attention. To be honest, I didn't think I had it in me. I felt drained and wrung out just trying to keep all four children happy and cared for in their restless need for more than I had to give.

I sat on Nathan's bed, prayed a quick good-night prayer, said a hasty "see you in the morning, honey," and bolted for the door in hopes of making a quick retreat to my room. After all,I had fulfilled my obligation as a good mom to "tuck in"all of my children.

Then Nathan's pleading voice quietly taunted me. "Don't you even have a few minutes that we can talk?" I mustered my own self-control, sat back down on his bed, and tried hard not to show my desire to leave as quickly as possible. "What do you want to talk about?" I queried. "Oh, nothing. I just wanted someone to be with." "How about I scratch your back?" He turned over on his bed, and I slowly began to "soft tickle" his back, a phrase coined by our family when Sarah was a little girl. As I began this labor of love, questions, thoughts, ideas, and dreams started pouring out of Nathan's mouth. The longer I scratched his freckled back, the more he seemed to relax.

"I hope someone will ask me to do a magic show at a birthday party soon, Mom. Do you think anyone will see the fliers I put up?...What are we going to do tomorrow?... Do you think we can have an open house for all the neighbors on Sunday?...When do you think we can take a trip back to Colorado? Mom, don't you think Kelsey is a good dog? She doesn't mean to be so wild; she's just a puppy. Sort of like me, I guess.... What do you think we should get Joel for Christmas?... Do you really think I'm a good writer?"

One thought spilled into another as the minutes ticked away. And I could feel my irritation gradually draining away too. I couldn't help thinking how blessed I was to have a teenage child who wanted to share the company of his frumpy mother.

When the spilling out of Nathan's heart seemed to be slowing down, I did one final flurry of scratching his back and then pulled down his T-shirt to close this time of sweet fellowship, which would be in my memory forever.

"Thanks for taking the time, Mom," Nathan said as he gently reached up to kiss my cheek. "It meant a lot to me."

It's hard for all of us--especially in the hurry and flurry of the Christmas season--to take time to stop and listen to our children.  But I've realized that's the most important thing of all.  If I want my children to be open to hearing the messages I have for them, I must listen to the ones they have for me.  How can you take time to listen to the hearts of the precious ones in your own walls, this Advent season?

(You can read more here: The Ministry of Motherhood!)

The Ministry of Motherhood: Following Christ's Example in Reaching the Hearts of Our Children

By Sally Clarkson

O Come, Emmanuel--He Has Come!

Merriest of Christmases to you all!

Today I wanted to share this lovely poem to celebrate the coming of Jesus, who was, as John tell us, God with us. Our friend Malcolm Guite has captured this idea so beautifully.

O Emmanuel

O come, O come, and be our God-with-us
O long-sought With-ness for a world without,
O secret seed, O hidden spring of light.
Come to us Wisdom, come unspoken Name
Come Root, and Key, and King, and holy Flame,
O quickened little wick so tightly curled,
Be folded with us into time and place,
Unfold for us the mystery of grace
And make a womb of all this wounded world.
O heart of heaven beating in the earth,
O tiny hope within our hopelessness
Come to be born, to bear us to our birth,
To touch a dying world with new-made hands
And make these rags of time our swaddling bands.

~ by Malcolm Guite (find more from Malcolm at his site!)

I pray you have a wonderful Christmas day!

Traditions That Knit Hearts Together, Oxford fun & a Joy & Mama podcast

Stockings are one of the highlights of our Christmas morning—Clay is a genius at finding fun little things. I add to his pile and they are a favorite treat for us all.

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Come, Thou long expected Jesus
Born to set Thy people free;
From our fears and sins release us,
Let us find our rest in Thee.
Israel's strength and consolation,
Hope of all the earth Thou art;
Dear desire of every nation,

 Joy of every loving heart. 

Stockings hung by the fire with care, a fresh pine wreath with birds nesting between pinecones, lit by a soft scented candle, fairy lights aglow in every corner of the room, flowers and poinsettias reminding of friends gracing our home with gifts, will all meet my adult children who are returning from Scotland, Cambridge, New York and Oxford. These are some of the familiar scenes that have graced our home for many years and  will speak familiarity, comfort: "our place" when all walk in the front door. 

Creating traditions over the year with your family will cultivate a family culture unique to your own heritage. Each of us has agency to decide what is a priority to our own family with consideration of our unique values, personalities and preferences. Yet, when a celebration is practiced year after year, together, pathways of security are roughed out in hearts and minds to remember these practices as moments that speak of love, home and intimacy shared to build life-long community.

Today, Joy and I have shared some of our favorite family traditions that have held us close as a family through the years, as well as some of our favorite ones from living together in Oxford last year: Seeking a shepherd from room to room; a simple candlelit Shepherd's meal for Christmas Eve; more books to read, 26 years of a gathering of women to share legacies of stories with cold raspberry soup, scones and jam; Romping from home to home for an evening of meals with friends, a yearly brunch at a dear friends’ home and silliness shared, carol sings and potlucks, and more.

It is not so important what we choose to do as it is that we seek to be intentional and cultivate an atmosphere of reverence for the profound entrance of Christ as a baby, vulnerable yet announcing and establishing a kingdom where we are welcome citizens, whose history we get to be a part of for eternity.

Your home is a laboratory of the life of Christ, where He can be seen through the incarnation of himself through our music, our love, our feasts, our faith, our peace and the comfort we receive from belonging to Him. Hidden impressions of faith are laid strategically over years of celebrating Christmas together on the foundations of our children's hearts that will speak to them of His hope in their lives long after they have left home. This year, practice those that build the beauty, mystery and hope that baby Jesus came to give. 

For more ideas on how to cultivate a home that breathes and cultivates a living faith, with strong foundations of love, pick up a copy of The Lifegiving home. A perfect gift for Christmas for a beloved friend.

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A Christmas Letter To Every Mama

If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit." -Galatians 5:25

As I sip a cup of late afternoon coffee, (yes, coffee! It's one of those days), I am happily looking at my Charlie Brown Christmas tree. We had to buy it--it was only $39. My home is eclectic. Some things are old, scarred and I put a cloth over them and call them classics. Some of my things are like the Velveteen Rabbit, worn but well loved. 

And that is how my very good life has been--beautiful and wonderful amidst many mistakes, many flaws, many immature moments. Yet, God's grace is like a beautiful cloth that covers the scars on my well beloved old tables. His love and grace cover my imperfections. 

Now as I visit with my children, they never say, "Remember the times our house was a mess." or "Mom, I remember a day when you did not have perfect behavior." 

Instead they say, "We belonged to one another in our home. We celebrated life. We ate a lot and had endless movies, cups of tea and hikes. What a precious life we had together with all the love we needed."

As you enter a new holiday season, decide ahead of time that there will be disappointing moments, not all things will go as planned and someone might even get sick or cancel on an activity you had been longing to attend. Your life will hold tension this holiday season. 

Yet, if you decide ahead of time to celebrate the moments as they come, to love generously and give forgiveness always, you will enjoy the days God provides. 

As godly women, we strive to make the best possible decisions, set the perfect boundaries, and have the correct rules that we believe will somehow cultivate "spiritual" children. However, we can't by sheer force or the right rules or the right devotional curriculum make our children spiritual.

That being said, there is a mysterious process by which the Holy Spirit leads our children to see their need for Christ as we seek to cultivate their hearts. But it is entirely led by grace, informed by love, and carried out by the help of the Holy Spirit.

We are putting so much pressure on ourselves as mothers. Each time we find ourselves too busy to cook (so we opt for fast food), too exhausted to clean, or so hectic in our lives that we didn't do a devotional with our children one week, we feel absolutely defeated and believe that we somehow failed our children.

Often, I receive comments or letters from mamas who say, "How did you seek joy? How did you manage to live by faith?" And then they will tell me the very difficult circumstances or exhaustion or loss of job or marriage problem.....

The grace of God is given in spite of our circumstances. His peace comes when our difficulties would suggest otherwise. When we cast our burdens on God because we cannot handle them or when we choose to exercise joy because we know,"in His presence is fullness of joy," or when with our inadequacies in all areas are filled in by the invisible grace of His own doing, we always have hope and reason to be at peace.

While it is incredibly wonderful to set our standards high and live within these great ideals,

we must hold ourselves to a standard of grace, not perfection.

We won't be able to have grace for our children if we do not have grace ourselves.

Galatians 5:1 tells us that,

" It was for freedom that Christ set us free, therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery."

Are there any ways in your life as a mom that you are trying to live up to the false expectations of others?

In my home, we did our best, but our best was certainly not perfection. We just had committed hearts toward our kids and the desire to shape their souls to respond passionately to their Creator. He came with grace and truth to bring life and wholeness into our hearts. We strive to follow His example in the lives of our children. We are not guided by culture, or what other moms feel is the "right way", but we are led by God. We walk in the power of the Holy Spirit and rest in His grace.

Mamas: The Conductors of Love, & Close Friendships for Life & Michelle Myers Podcast

My Raggedy Ann and Andy Dolls my mom made me as a little girl always sit under our tree—for over 60 years! :)

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"Mama, I can't wait to come home. I am looking so forward to all of our familiar traditions, decorations, food--just home. Can't wait."

And I can’t wait either.

I did not know that the years I was devoted as a mama, to mentor, shape, inspire and train my children I was cultivating the very best friends I would ever have. We grew into a community of kindred spirits, friends who share values, traditions, history, faith and lots of love. And it all came through the intentionality of building a communities of family together. I did not know it could be so very soul sweet because I had never experienced it before.

I shared a few days ago that I get ridiculously excited for my adult children to come home. And so, little by little, I have filled the corners of our house and stuffed cookie tins and the fridge to prepare for our little home to be brimming with Clarkson culture.

Nothing perfect, but all our own.

Some traditions are so age-old that they are precious just because we have celebrated them so often. Perusing a second hand shop as a new mama 32 years ago, I came upon little English cottages. They have graced our table ever since.

And the Christmas tree cake, decorated for a zillion years by my children who loved making it their own, is alway served, amongst other goodies.

Greetings from cold and snowy (-4 F. last night) Colorado this last week of advent. With 2 children home and 2 to go, I am preparing my heart and my home for lots of loved ones in the days ahead.

This week will be filled with traditional dinners, (Maple salmon with rice pilaf, spicy pork tacos; chicken veggie soup and homemade rolls, quiche, and so much more.) We will have a yearly brunch with a friend who is the best cook (Eggs Benedict) we happily attend each year, a shepherd's meal for Christmas Eve, (The Lifegiving Table) , a Christmas morning brunch out and so much more.

Our weeks are generally not this busy, but everyone is coming home a week late, so we are stuffing all of our traditional activities into one week.

Slowly, little by little, over the years, we have placed anchors into our lives that have helped our family feel like we are part of a community of people we are committed to seeing every year. It will be a busy, swirling time for us.

A lot will be required of me as the anchor of joy, good attitudes, good natured moods, atmosphere, in this crew of 7 in my home the next few weeks. Knowing that I am sometimes taken by surprise by all the pressures that come my way during this season of homecoming, I am learning to prepare my heart and my home way before the frenzy begins. And so I am arming my heart to be prepared for all the celebrating, conflicts, secrets shared, spirits soothed, comfort needed, ears open and love given and "too much sugar" weeks.

I am the main confidant, cook, and orchestrator for everything that happens, so my own personal preparation is essential to the way the memories come together.

Michelle Myers of Sheworkshisway.com joined me today for a great podcast about mentorship of our children and beauty in our family amidst real life. I know you will enjoy it. Michelle started a community for working women to find encouragement in their day to day lives.

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Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

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G is for Giving: The Mark of Christ On Our Lives & Podcast

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Giving generously, without expectation of being paid back, God gave Himself from Genesis to Revelation. it is a mark of a Heavenly Father to give, over and over and over again. When we learn to become givers of ourselves, we show the heart of God in very tangible ways. it is not natural to give of ourselves unselfishly. We want life to be fair, for someone to appreciate us, to give back. But He gives because it is His nature to give. And when we learn to become givers, we grow to reflect more of Him to others in our world. I hope you will enjoy the podcast today that speaks of giving and allow this to move you this season, to give generously whatever life requires because He lives through you and gives through your own heart willing to worship Him through your obedience.

Christmas Eve found me huffing and puffing over a kitchen cabinet overflowing with dough. Cinnamon rolls for Christmas morning, herb and onion bread for the Shepherd's meal that very evening, and I was into my own vortex of checking off a mental list of all that had to be finished. Stockings, wrap presents, call my family, make the potato soup and fill the cookie trays......on and on the list grew.

Charming 12 year old, golden blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, marched into the kitchen with a purpose to his step.

"Mama, I know you are busy, but there is something real important I need to talk to you about. I need you to come right now!"

A little tightness wrapped itself around my attitude.

My thoughts, "Hello! Can't you see that I am up to my elbows in dough? Do you really know how much I am doing to make all of you happy? I am doing this for you. Can't you just see what I am up to and wait for just a little bit?"

My words, "Honey, I am a little busy right now. Can you just wait for a few minutes? Why don't you talk to me right here--I am happy to listen to you."

"Mom, we need to have privacy. It won't take long. If you could just come with me for a few minutes, I really need to talk to you."

Something in my heart said, "You need to take time. He is not usually this insistant in the middle of the day. Give him your focussed attention for just a few minutes."

And so I reluctantly wiped my hands clean, put the dough down and said, "Ok, Nate, let's go to my bedroom. No one is there."

He seemed to be holding something behind his back and wanted me to go in front of him.

I walked ahead of him into my bedroom, sat on our little love seat next to our bed and said, trying to smile amidst the tension I was feeling, "Now, Nathan, what did you want to talk about?"

Then, with a smile from cheek to cheek, he gingerly pulled out one long stem red rose from behind his back and presented it to me.

"Mama, I love you more than Christmas."

"I was thinking about all that you do to make us happy and I wanted to give you a present before I get all of my presents tomorrow. I wanted to let you know I love you and really appreciate you ahead of time. So here is my present, mama. I made Dad take me to the store and I got a red rose for you.  Do you like it?"

Of course, you could have pushed me over with a feather.

I was shocked, surprised, touched, and the tears began to flow and my heart began to melt.

"Nathan, that might be the sweetest, most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given to me. Thank you with all of my heart."

And so I drew his "little-boy" body to myself and gave a great big hug and kissed him on his smiling cheek.

"I will never forget this. I adore you, sweet Nathan."

And I haven't forgotten.

And now I saw my extraverted, ADD, bubbling over, OCD boy in a whole new light.

So very glad this one time God prompted me to listen with my heart instead of my head.

Hope you enjoy the podcast—as we wanted our friends to know our adventures and challenges this week with Lily. Joel helped me find a song we hope you will enjoy. Have the most wonderful Christmas with your loved ones.

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Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.

Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

Play Episode