Sally Clarkson's Blog, page 92

Exhausted Already this January? Create Spaces of Rest!

Rest may very well be the most strategic thing to do if we have a busy, full and demanding life.

If we do not practice a habit of a restful life, we will end up with serious illness, exhaustion, bad attitudes and fist-shaking faith aimed heavenward. As I have said before, one of my most useful memory verses is, "Fretting leads only to evil doing." (Reflection of Psalm 37:8!)

God put Sabbath rest into the weeks of our lives with a purpose. It is not just a Sunday thing--it is a principle of stopping when life has drained us too much.

I have found that when I believe and engage my heart in the goodness of God's character, and place into the file drawers of heaven all that I am carrying and worrying about, including the lists of all that I have to do,  I begin to find peace.

When I find myself depleted, I stop and take stock of what is going on in my life. I simplify my schedule and plan a snack-style dinner, maybe crackers and cheese or fruit and toast, and break out the paper plates. I take a day off from regular commitments and plan to be still. The next day, I again put away normal commitments in order to attack the demanding tasks that are increasing my burden. But into that day, I also plan simple pleasures--making time for several coffees or cups of tea, having a nap, watching a show, or reading a magazine--which gives the little break I know I need.

When my children were little, on these burned-out days I would do whatever would free me for just a bit. Bubbles would be brought out, or a long bath with new bath toys, a Winnie the Pooh cartoon, a trip to the frozen yogurt cafe, or a quick jaunt to the park or playground. I crafted a way I might have a break from the children’s banter and demands.

Refueling just a little to find joy, create pleasure and celebrate life in the midst of all the demands helps fill my heart up just enough to begin seeing light at the end of my tunnel. Slowly, I would begin to see the miracles bubbling up ... slowly, surely; He, my Father, delights to provide when I take time to breathe, listen, and rest from the daily grind.

 A Martha heart, frenetically busy, won't see the miracles of God, as she is so busy living in the whirlwind of her own making and subsisting in her own meek provisions that she loses all hope and becomes a wretched nag.

The more exhausted I am with life, the more tense, grumpy and tight I become—and eventually, it spills all over everyone else.

Yet, from so many times like this in the past, I have learned a secret. My Prince Jesus comes to me at just the right time. Like the story of Sleeping Beauty, the prince comes not when she is searching the horizon, pounding her fists, running the floor,

But the prince comes when the princess is asleep, and doing nothing but resting.

Resting in Him, choosing peace, putting off responsibilities, and recreating can be such grand medicine for my soul, that after choosing to rest and to invest in fun and love and ease of life, my strength is renewed and all life's issues can be faced with grace.

I know duty is bound to come, but I will face it with courage tomorrow  if I rest today, when my body demands it.

And so my plan for today is to go back to bed, to pace leisurely, to sip and really taste my coffee, to call Clay at the office just to say "hi"--and remember that he is also tired; to focus on the beauty around me; to stay in comfy clothes all day-- listen to music, watch a fun movie, read and pray--and then maybe to rest again, tomorrow, because I know that while I am resting, my Prince is already coming to my rescue, because He has my back covered.

Peace, be still, the Lord is near.

I Need a Little Grace, Every Day & Podcast

Since I travel often, I bring grace into my environment, wherever I am—a candle, a china cup & my favorite tea, and roses from a local store. (in a kitchen utensil holder—they had not vases in this airb&b. :)

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Dear Lord, So far I've done all right. I haven't gossipped, haven't lost my temper, haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I'm really glad about that.

But in a few minutes, God, I'm going to get out of bed. And from then on, I'm going to need a lot more help."

Ever felt like praying this prayer? I have! A candle, cup of tea and my Bible (and today, roses) get me started off right. I've laid my burdens at Jesus' feet. I've read His words and they have ministered to my heart. I've worshiped Him. I have asked Him to change me, to help me grow, to bless my family and lead them. I'm sure it's going to be a wonderful day, and all is well with the world.

And then I get out of the chair.

And sometimes, it feels as if all is downhill from there!

Wouldn't motherhood, wifehood, even Christianity be much easier ... if there weren't any other people involved? But I suppose then we have the problem alluded to in that scene from It's a Wonderful Life, when the family's help says, "That (the noise happening upstairs) is why all children should be girls!" and then the elder Mrs. Bailey says, "But if they were all girls--oh, never mind!"

God loves relationships. He, Himself, exists as a relationship--Father, Son and Spirit, three in One--a mystery we can't wrap our minds around. We bear His image, and part of that is this need we have for relationships; to know and be known, to love well, to draw strength and learn from one another. Yet relationships are not easy. Sinful people, living together in a broken world, sometimes hurt one another. We misunderstand and are misunderstood. We struggle with pride and envy, greed and deceit. So do those around us--and our children are no exception.

We need God's grace.

"Giving the gift of grace to our children is actually a two-part process. First, we need to help our children receive grace. We do this both by extending grace to them and by teaching them about God's grace through salvation. After that, by our teaching and example, we must train our children to give grace to others in turn.

Jesus summed up this two-part process when He was asked to name the greatest commandment. He said we are first to love the Lord God with all our hearts (receiving grace) and then we are to love our neighbors as ourselves (giving grace). This commandment, therefore, sums up the first gift we can give to our children--the desire and ability to understand and receive the grace of God and to give it to the rest of the world.

Understanding the importance of the gift of grace has really helped me respond to the daily dilemmas and frustrations of life in a household of four children. As we go through our days, for instance, I try to be mindful that, to God, relationships are always a top priority. I try to think of ways I can model for my children the redemptive grace and love of Jesus--and also influence them to extend grace to others through their actions and their attitudes." ~ The Ministry of Motherhood

We will always be pressed by our relationships. My prayer is that they press us all closer to the heart of God, Who loves to extend His grace to us, and teaches us through His example to do the same.

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Living By Formula or Faith? (Desperate 4) Holly & Margaret Podcast!)

Formulas Don't always Work, but they can sure make us feel like we are accomplishing something!

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In this chapter of Desperate, we are touching the issues that so many moms talk about--if I could just find the right book or formula to answer all of my situations.  However, this search for the magic bullet can only end in frustration, as God did not design this as the answer to our questions in mothering.

Do you ever have voices in your head?

A good mom would.....fill in the blank.

My children were potty trained by 12 months, and if you were disciplined, you would do the same..

My children never whine, yours always do....

You should keep a cleaner house if you were really committed.

You are too lenient on your children, you need to spank them more.

You are too harsh with your children, and you will cause them to rebel.....

And on and on and on.

I used to hear voices and almost all of them made me feel condemned, as though I wasn't mothering the right way or doing the right things enough.

And then there were these four children of mine, differing in personality and different heart issues, different developmental time frames. So many issues that I just thought if I knew the right rule or had a better planner, or the right book or curriculum, I would get it right!

With all the letters I receive, there are so many days I would like to be able to offer blanket advice to everyone I meet.

If you do things just so, it will all turn out all right and your children will obey happily and walk with God and never do anything wrong. Wouldn't that be dreamy?

It seems to me that there are many wisdom principles in scripture, but very, very little advice of an exact nature. God is vague on so many issues--intentionally! He gives us great freedom to live into our own personalities, our own puzzle and to apply wisdom in our own creative ways.

Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying not to train your children. God very specifically gave us so much wisdom to follow, and laws that would protect us and guide us--but they were few.

He tells us to speak to our children every day about Him--the great shema of scripture in Deuteronomy 6:4-9:

Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.  These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. "

He tells us to train up our children in the way they should go. And evidently, a lot of training is just talking throughout the day according to what the issue of the moment is, often at night when they are supposed to go to bed and are asking questions. In the day when they are learning about work, relationships, truth. We are to have His words on our own heart, and then from our heart we will teach them out of a well of wisdom that comes from what we are cherishing--His words; wisdom personalized every day, according to the need of the moment.

He gives us a commandment to teach our children that they must honor their mother and father. He tells us in Ephesians to raise up our children in the training and instruction of the Lord.

But He does not ever say, "Spank for 45 minutes. Carry a paddle or switch in your purse to be sure you don't miss any offense or you will be responsible for their demise." (I am so grateful He doesn't correct every single sin or immature act I perform or I would just give up now!)

He doesn't say, "Quiet times are so much more effective before 7 in the morning" or "Women have no ability to teach young men." (Have you seen Proverbs 8 or 9 or read about Timothy?)

Or "You can tell a woman's spirituality by looking at whether their drawers are neat and clean on the inside." (Really? What chapter and verse is that?)

He doesn't even say "All children will learn best if they study Latin or Hebrew." (Whew!)

 I often have women who say, "How did you raise your children? What rules did you keep? Why do they love you and love the Lord and how did you teach them to trust you?"

 As far as I can tell, scripture tells us that it is faith, not works, that pleases God. (Hebrews 11:6)

Your family is your own particular puzzle. God has given you those children, that husband, that home and community, in this time. And no one else can tell you exactly what you ought to do in it! But He is faithful and He desires to help and instruct you as you walk with Him. A list of rules and regulations to follow--do things this way, every time, with every child, in every circumstance!--would only serve as a separation between you and your need to communicate with Him and obey His personal instructions to you.

We have great freedom in Christ. Don't give it up for a yoke of slavery to any thing, any one, or any set of rules! Being a great mom is not about rules or formula--it is more like a dance--moving to the rhythms of life, listening and paying attention to the mood of the music in your children's lives and choreographing wisdom as the words to the song.

Your God is truly bigger than a rule, certainly wilder, and cannot be tamed. He wants us to walk this adventure by faith and celebrating life within the bounds of our own personalities and those of our husbands and children.

Look for His voice, not the voices of others, and you will find yourself growing in contentment, grace, and even joy.

What are some of the formulas you have followed that have led to legalism?

What area do you most wish you had a formula to apply?

Do you struggle with "the voices"? How do you replace these voices with real wisdom?

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What Really Matters in Our Homes (Even Come January!)

The secrets and deep emotions shared during the goodnight hours in which a the soul of a child is tender and open; the comfort of warm, homemade food n the early evening as ideas are shared and discussed and prayers and devotions given; the laughter, stories, advice offered in the midst of washing dishes together; the heroic and riveting stories read aloud together that establish common patterns of morality, values and dreams in the comfort of the blazing hearth, mugs of steaming hot chocolate and squishing against each other on a den couch—these are those heavenly things, which are food to the soul and nourishment to the mind and conscience of a child fully awake to all that is important in life.

There is no computer, television, software or textbook that can pass on such passion, love and motivation.

It is indeed the personal touch of a mother’s heart that creates grand civility, deep affection, care, and commitment to the foundations of a family. When the invisible strings of a mother’s heart are tied to the hearts of her children through loving sacrifice and nurture, the stability and foundations of a nation become secure and stable.

A mother, living well in her God-ordained role, is of great beauty and inestimable value to the future history of any generation.

Her impact is irreplaceable and necessary to the spiritual formation of children who will be the future adults of the next generation. Fun, comfort, humor, graciousness, spiritual passion, compassion for the lost, hospitality, chores, meals, training, life-giving words, hours and hours of listening and playing and praying and reading—all are parts of the mosaic in the process of soul development.

So, though the weariness of the busyness and celebration of Christmas is still upon our hearts and felt in our bodies,

the Spirit and vision of His life in ours will keep us going--

the refocusing on His great call will fuel our commitments to keep going, to keep loving and to keep believing. Taking time with Him this morning has fueled my own soul with new excitement. May He grace you all with His encouragement--right where you are, in whatever season--to know that it really matters. Grace and peace and rest be yours in the days ahead!

When Darkness Comes, Cultivate Light With Ruth Schwenk (Desperate 3 & Podcast!)

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"Ideals" is practically my middle name. When I was a little girl, I remember watching Miss America and when I saw the "beauty" crowned, I practiced walking around our living room, preparing for the time I would be crowned queen. Stories of heroines in books and movies piqued my interest because I knew I was destined to be a protagonist in some great story.

Idealistic about faith, about romance, about life! Except one area: I didn't have any ideals about being a great mother. Honestly, I was one of those women who just didn't think about having children or mothering them. Having only brothers above me and being the only girl, I never had babies in my home, and I only remember babysitting about twice in my whole life--and that under duress.

Now if I had been a mothering/baby-oriented sort, I would have been idealistic about that, because I was idealistic about everything I knew about. But I didn't know anything about being a mom--especially about one of babies. After all, what could be so hard about having a baby? As a fairly mature Christian (after all, I had been in ministry for eight years, and missions at that! ) I supposed I would also be a fairly mature mom.

Fast forward, a few years into marriage. Living in Southern California was such a challenge for me as a young mother of two young children. Clay worked 65-80 hours a week, I didn't know many women in my area, and I had almost no "mother" friends. Our families lived halfway across the United States, and I was exhausted all the time. It didn't help that I was pregnant with my third child and struggled with morning sickness for six months.

After straightening up my house one afternoon, I poured bubble bath into my oversized double sink with Sarah, 4, on one side and Joel, just under 2, in the sink next to it. I gave each of them small plastic cup to play with in the warm, bubbly water while I hoped for a reprieve.

"This will hold them for at least 30 minutes, so I can get a break," I thought as I waddled to a chair nearby.

All of a sudden, 22-month Joel stood straight up in the sink. With a very exuberant smile from cheek to cheek, he screamed in delight and started scooping bubbles and water out of the sink and onto the floor as fast as he could, having a merry old time. He was just being an exuberant, happy little boy.

Something in me burst, and I started screaming at him with vein-popping intensity. "What are you doing? You are making a mess all over my floor! Stop it. Don't you know you are making a mess? Don't you know how tired I am?" The lecture had evidently been stored up for months, and I just kept going and going in anger and frustration.

My stunned, usually happy, easy-going boy plopped down (making another big splash on my floor) and looked at me with wide, big, sad eyes and then just started crying and crying and crying, as though I had wounded him for life.

All of a sudden, I felt soooooooo bad. What had happened to me? Where had this kind of anger come from? Here was my gentle Joel, my cuddly one, who was doing nothing wrong but just being a darling little toddler.

Shame poured over me in waves. Sarah looked at me in fear. The fun I had planned was totally spoiled. Everyone was crying. And all afternoon, I shook my head over the incident. How could someone who called herself a mature believer lose it like that? I was not worthy to be a mom. What would my friends think? What would Clay think if he had heard me being so irrational?

Darkness seemed to cover my whole being as I bent with disappointment in myself. I knew I had been impatient; that my son had done nothing wrong. He had been so delighted in his bubbles and then .....!!!!!

As a young mom, I had absolutely no idea what to expect. I had three children in less than five  years. I had never been trained to take care of children, to change diapers, to nurse a baby, to miss hours of sleep for months at a time; or anything else that was required, and had almost no knowledge of what it looked like to be a "good" mother. Of course I read as much as I could read, but the books didn't cover everything. And then there were so many formulas and so many differing voices!

Scripture, though,  became my saving grace. I would pray and pray that God would help me--and little by little, He started building in me a philosophy of parenting, motherhood, and home building; generation-inspiring messages, and I found grace and freedom as I slowly grew. As I sought Him, and followed what I believed was the way of wisdom in parenting my children, by faith, I began to really, really fall in love with my children, with who they were, and the deep call of motherhood. This took years, and for me, it was never easy. But my home became a place of deep happiness and fulfillment. It was not from seeking the fulfillment of ideals, but from seeking Him and His wisdom and seeing His love and patience with me.

"Even as a father has compassion on His children, so the Lord has compassion on you." Psalm 103

So, God, as my Father, was compassionate towards me and knew my limitations and still loved me. And so I learned to have compassion on my precious little ones and practiced loving them more each day.

I wish I had known ahead of time that motherhood was a place of battle and growth.

If only I had understood that there were no perfect moms and that all moms, including good moms,  became frustrated, sinned and were selfish, and succumbed to exhaustion. If only I had not wasted so much time on guilt and inadequacy, but instead focused on seeking to enjoy life with my children more--to lighten my load-- to lighten up in general.

I wish I had understood that children are pre-wired to behave like children and do toddlerish, babyish, teenager-ish, things--and that God wanted me to learn to enjoy them and not be so neurotic about every single little thing.

I wish I had relaxed my ideals as a young mom, and just leaned into the life of being a mom more.

So many of my friends miss their children now that they are older. Most all of them say they wished they had relaxed more, loved more, and paid more attention to them personally--looked into their eyes more often.

Wisdom applied:

What are your biggest disappointments over how you expected yourself to be as a mom compared to your reality?

In what area were you least prepared?

How do you most need to adjust your expectations and find a way to enjoy this stage of your children's lives?

I try to remember, "This is the day the Lord has made (right now, this stage, this child, this circumstance) I will rejoice (I will choose to worship God right now; I will look for what I can be thankful for) and be glad.

I choose gladness and will live fully in this season and  grow little by little--knowing God is holding my hand and leading me, as new roles are opening even in this stage of my life—being a mother-in-law and grandmother! Will you join me?

I am so honored to have my sweet friend, Ruth Schwenk with me today. She is a gifted author, and has a couple of wonderful blogs. You can find her at thebettermom.com and she and her husband at: forthefamily.org.

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 More Resources:
Ruth Schwenk at The Better Mom

Ruth on Instagram
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What Makes a Young Mom Feel Desperate? (2) & Podcast

"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." Luke 5:16 (NIV)

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It may be hard to believe, but loneliness has been a constant companion for me for many years. It causes me to ache inside, sometimes, bringing tears to my eyes and a longing for community.  I yearn for like-minded kindred spirits-- who also "like" me!

    I love having close, intimate friends who "get" me; those who know all about me with all my quirks and petty sins, and still love me. I also enjoy being with friends who are passionate about the Lord, ministry, the Word, and family--who have ideals like mine, but who also love to have fun and celebrate life. My close friend must be someone who understands grace and giving grace, who has learned it by going around the track of life and by being humbled. There are not, in my intimate life, many who fit this longing and who also initiate relationally, as I think this is a lost art!

      For much of my life, I have felt so alone, invisible in my needs to the world of hundreds of people who buzz in and out of my life. Isolated from kindred spirits. Probably some of that feeling comes because I am too busy, and some because I hold ideals that are in a minority in this culture. But as I sit here tonight, I thought since I have felt loneliness so often through so many years, you might, too; and I wanted you to know you are not unusual or alone--there are many of us in the same boat!

       In a world of isolationism, breakdown of families for every reason--moving all over the world and being separated physically, divorce, differing ideals, and just plain lack of commitment--there is personal isolation in crowded neighborhoods. Rarely does one find the simple community of people who hold your values and your faith. Add to that isolation in church, and prospects for friendship can be bleak indeed.

       Yet, I realize it has been this very loneliness that has driven me to the Lord. He has heard me over and over again and He has used this longing to open my heart to others who have needs. Increasingly, He has used it to humble me in my point of need, so that I have more compassion for those who are also separated from support systems.

As a matter of fact, most of what I write about has come from my struggles. This particular puzzle of my life has brought with it choices:  to live out in grace and faith or to live in the darkness of depression. Choosing to believe in God's goodness, has been for me the story where I saw a God who loves me and shows me life and grace and light in the midst. It is through choosing to seek Him and to hold on to His hand and to believe in His friendship that I have found strength and a way to keep going.

       I also know so many young moms who struggle with loneliness during long days in their own homes with their little children. One idealistic young mom cried with me last week, saying, "I just went upstairs for four minutes to put away the laundry, and when I came downstairs, my three year old had used a permanent marker to draw all over the naked body of my 18-month old and then draw all over my favorite blouse--and the carpet! I thought to myself, 'Is this what I want to do for the rest of my life? Take care of these children? Stay home by myself and do this day in and day out? Am I not more talented than this? Will I never have a bigger life?'"

       I smiled at her story about the markers because it was familiar and yet, also felt what she felt. I  personally knew her feelings, as I'd had the same ones when my 3 oldest were all under 5!! This mama is so cute and fun and intelligent; it's just that she's carrying her ideals about family life and children in a circle of friends who don't understand her or support her in a 24/7 life of constant demand.

       So I just wanted you to know today, that you are not alone. God indeed loves you so much and is so very proud of your bringing life and beauty into your homes. He knows your struggles. He sees you and your need to be loved and appreciated and filled up.

However, now in my 60's, I find there are gifts that loneliness brought to me--and see that God was trusting me to learn wisdom because He was with me every day of my loneliness. God did not design this world to be isolated, but He created us to have community.

Please do not think I am talking about being super-spiritual, because I am not. But, because God cares about how I feel, he turned it out for my good because He understood my feelings and sympathized with the needs I felt in this fallen world. These are a few lessons I have learned.

1. Humility--that I cannot make it in life alone just by toughing it out. I really need God and I need others to help me to make it.

2. Compassion, instead of judgment of others. Understanding the needs of others because of my own deep needs. 

3. An acceptance for others who were not just like me. It was the kindness of friends who were different than I was that made me appreciate the friends I did have. When someone showed me kindness, I was so ver appreciative whether we were the exact same or not.

4. Thankfulness came to me slowly when I learned to have gratitude for those God had given when my pride might have kept me from friends who were different. These friends  became treasures because of their steadfast, loyal commitment over many years. I no longer required that my "friends" be just like me or have my values. Tolerant grace and love grew inside my heart.

5. Contentment has come over many years. My spiritual muscle has grown and I am so much better able to fill my life with beauty, meaning, purpose, work and creativity to hold me through all my days. I have quite learned to deeply enjoy my own inner-self  and my own company and to find sweet peace when I am alone. 

 I am still a lover of people at heart and adore being with my "besties" when it works out. But, I have made peace and beauty my world as I walk one day at a time. Maturity takes a lifetime, but God can be trusted to walk with us and to build exactly what our soul needs to survive, if we seek His love and rest in His company.

Of course, if I could, I would have you all into my little living room right now for tea, scones and chocolate. But as it is, I am going to pray for you. You must be a conductor of your own symphony and make a plan to place some pleasure, times with people, outings away from the messy home and sequestering with too many sinful children and one weary mom in one small place. Going to a park, create beauty, go out for a one woman date in a place you enjoy, or just anywhere will change your mood, ease your soul.--just don't stay and stew where you are! In time, loneliness will shape you to look more and more like Jesus when you walk through it hand and hand with Him.

      Do you feel loneliness is a big part of your life as a mama? What might the Lord want to show you in the midst of it? What can you do to reach out to another lonely mama to begin shaping a friendship that will last a lifetime?

Grace and peace to your hearts today.

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Psalm 27 PDF
Books Referenced in this Podcast:















































More Resources:
Life with Sally Membership
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Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.

Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

Play Episode

A Mama's Love is So Important

Everyone needs a mama's love.

"Mothers, you are the divinely-appointed teachers and guides of your children; and any attempt to free yourselves of this duty is in direct opposition to the will of God. If you neglect them, the consequences are swift and sure. … Spend most of your time with your children. Sleep near them, attend and dress and wash them; let them eat with their mother and father; be their companion and friend in all things and at all times.”

From Golden Thoughts on Mother, Home and Heaven

Being with my wildly idealistic children, living through the noise of our exuberant home (drum set in the basement, electric piano and real piano upstairs,  almost always with someone blaring away, singing, listening to music on their new various stations; rousing, lengthy, loud discussions at the dinner table; wrestling with the dog and watching movies and playing games and feasting with even just part of our family at home) has reminded me again, that all the trouble was well worth the effort. It all mattered. Really.

Even through all the exhaustion, meals, dishes, late nights, attitudes, weariness--it is of utmost importance.

Januaries are always a bit difficult. It is a time we can be be tempted to give up--the gray and extreme cold, not as much out-of-door time, and weariness in the middle of winter blues, all add up to a heavy season for many.

After many Januaries and winter seasons of my heart, I know the truth: roots are growing deep, the gray will eventually be replaced by buds on trees and light and warmth, and this can become a great season of memories made, if I craft life to make it so.

The way I got to this point--this far and still intact--was through years and years of defining and redefining ideals and seeking the Lord, then living through one day at a time, for a million days. Yet, I see life and beauty in the souls of my very individualistic children—the palpable life of the Lord, Who is building and growing them into healthy, vibrant adults.

The words in the quote above were written over a hundred years ago. Yet I still believe they are accurate and powerful today, in a culture where the imagination of the importance of mothers to the overall well-being of soul of the next generation has been lost. How affirming it is to see that truth of past generations still applies to us today.

Often, I find that in the absence of a clear enough vision for their children and homes, mothers replace conviction with lots of activities and distractions for their children.

From the beginning of time, God created the home to be a place sufficient to nurture genius, excellence, graciousness, and grand civility. But the key factor is nothing that can be purchased or owned. The accomplishment of this grand life is found only in the soul of a mother, through the power of the Holy Spirit, personally mentoring her children.

It is a personal relationship with a real person whose soul is alive in which the deepest imprints of life are given.

How will you show love to your children today?

Nurturing God-sized Dreams

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Mamas are made to dream for God, as well. God has work for us to do!

Part 2

Excitement bubbled up in my own heart again yesterday, when I heard one of our pastors speak. His message was about not settling for life, but becoming an overcomer. There was this little familiar flurry of excitement stirring in my heart. It melded with some of what I have been thinking about lately.

 All of us were made by God to do a work in this world that would bring Him great glory and that would point to His light and beauty. We were created in His image, in His spiritual likeness, but with our own personality, skills, messages and drives. Each of us has the opportunity to live out a great story--one in which His power, His love, His light can touch everything we do. But only if we are dreamers--dreamers for His glory.

To live by faith, means to live as though the Holy Spirit is truly living through me--If the Holy Spirit looked at my marriage, my children, my friends, my skills, what would He be planning for my life? How would He be living it differently than I am living? What would He be planning according to His power and resources? How would He be bringing glory to His Father through the ways He would have me step out in faith, the ways I would be generous extending His love, the ways I expressed compassion and redemption to a lost world, as He would?

As I see the huge needs in our culture for Christianity to come alive--a need for teachers who love children and want to inspire them to have a great moral character and to learn how to read (as our test scores as a nation have gone down every year for almost 20 years.) When I hear of all the latch key children, I want to find a way to train more mothers to find ways to stay at home, or to spend more time with their wee ones,  in order to fill the emotional, spiritual and moral cups of their children. When I see the immorality, violence, emptiness and lies in media and in movies, I long to see passionate, artistic, insightful and skillful Christians rise up to reclaim the arts for the Lord.

And on and on. Christ has a passion for bringing God's glory in every arena of life and He seeks to raise up those who would boldly redeem back areas of darkness in His power and in His name. Yet, he has designed that there would be specific trainers of the next generation that would be able to train up godly, inspired leaders---mothers!

How Did Dreaming express itself through my life?

I remember in the movie, The Chariots of Fire, when the olympic gold medalist Eric Liddel was talking to his sister about his running, He said, "When I run, I feel His pleasure--God made me to run!"

I feel that same thing about speaking. When I stand up to speak to a crowd of 10 or a crowd of countless women, I feel His pleasure--I feel that there is a blessing and power that I was created to walk in. I understood what Eric meant!

I remember that when I was a young woman, I dreamed about speaking and writing--I was driven toward it. When we nurture the Spirit of God in our lives, we will find pleasure and passion in those areas that God has created us to do. Of course, it may take hard work and most of our lives is about faithfulness and growing, but each of us was designed by God to accomplish His work through our lives.

One of my friends was having coffee with me in Vienna many years ago, once and she said, "You know, Sally, lots of people want to write books, but very few get to really be published.

"Do you really think you will ever get a book published? Is that realistic?"

Of course her words troubled me for a while, but as I prayed, I gave my skills to the Lord and told HIm that I would be faithful in all areas of my life, but that I would also try to be faithful to practice writing and speaking--to use it to encourage my friends in letters, that I would speak to children, adults, whoever and wherever He took me, for His glory.

And if He wanted me to get published, fine, but meanwhile, I pledged to be as faithful as I knew how. Many of those years, I was speaking to my children in our own home, passionately sharing from what He had given to me in my quiet time. This is where I found my joy--sharing passionately with those I loved the most! It was from this small arena, that God caused my ministry to blossom, from practicing being faithful in small things.

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Moving From Desperate to Hopeful: A Journey for Moms (Desperate 1)

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It is 5:30 a.m. and I am up early sipping coffee in the lobby of a hotel near my home. With a house full of people all the time, food to cook, dishes to wash, conversations buzzing around, and the busyness of the holidays, I needed some time to center myself.

And yet, in the day and a half that I have been here, I have not gotten much accomplished. Even here, my phone has buzzed as my sweet children have called to talk to me of life, decisions, love, jobs, and relationships. Other people have called with questions and needs for ministry, conferences, and the next book on its way.  Friends still need me. Clay has tasks for me to do. 

One year long ago on a similar weekend, Joy came to stay with me in the evening. "Mom, why did you and Dad get married to each other? What gives glue to your life? What drives your life?"

A little heavy for 10 at night, I felt. There are moments when my brain is just empty and a flat line. But after a few hours of sleep, I awakened to find my mind was just bubbling over from pondering her questions. I couldn't wait to have breakfast with her, to give her an answer.

Sometimes it is as though the Holy Spirit speaks to me best in the middle of the night when there are no other distractions or duties. Imagine!

The scripture started flowing:

"Rule over the earth and subdue it." Genesis 1

"The wise woman builds her house, the foolish tears it down with her own hands." Proverbs 14:1

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock." Matt. 7:24-27

The more I pondered my purpose, the more my excitement grew once again, to live, write, and speak to what I have been designed to do. The evening before, I had been weary to the bone with having spent myself in a thousand ways over the past months. A thousand ways people and life had required my time. Don't we all have lists of people and life issues that drain us on a daily basis?

If we are serving  others and living purposefully, we will become tired because we are expending our energy generously on a regular basis. It is why God made night times to sleep, and Sabbath rest to celebrate;  He knew we needed rest, and He provided for us to be refueled.

And yet, if we think all we are doing is checking off a list of "to do's" full of mundane tasks that will have to be repeated again and again, we will not have the fire in our hearts to complete the job. It is just too much work. Too much giving of ourselves and expending of our energy. If motherhood is just about keeping a child alive, fed and dressed, then why not give them over to someone else to raise so that we can have our own lives back?

In remembering the why of our marriage, our life work, our love and commitment of family, my heart became energized once again for the multitudinous tasks.

What if this is the work that matters for history? What if shaping souls will be our investment in the kingdom of God? And if the mothers who have babies do not take care for their children's well-being and souls, then what hope does the future have? All of this once again filled my mind.

"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." Hebrews 6:19

"If we have hoped in Christ in this life only, we are of all men most to be pitied." 1 Corinthians 15:19

This labor of love that we diligently pursue is not about now. It is about investing in the kingdom of God, doing His work today, living our conviction that people have eternal value and that we are willing to be shepherds for their souls.

If there will be a resurrection, an accounting to God for our days and for our children--and there will; if He has entrusted us with this charge of raising our children for His glory--and He has; then we must complete our task with diligence. But we will only do so if we understand that some day, this story we are living will be told and our lives of faithfulness will be a testimony of our worship and belief in Him.

Our hope-- that is, our anchor--  is that our labor matters. Our hope is that our labor is not in vain. Our hope is that He sees us and has appointed us to steward the lives of little ones whose souls will have eternal impact.

If we connect to Him who is life, and listen to His words and admonition, and understand that we are about a work of the kingdom of God, our lives have reason for hope. We know that we are investing in eternity. We are shaping history. We are giving shelter and creating a place to teach wisdom, truth, and love in the stormy places of life.

Truth and purpose give us a reason to live this irrational life of giving, serving, exhausting ourselves for the sake of living a story. 

The difference between desperate and hope is that one life lacks meaning and is just filled with endless, meaningless work. The other life has the same amount of work, but is filled with the anticipation of working hand in hand with God for an eternal result that will truly shape and protect generations. This work fills a heart with the fire to live the impossible.

I will be dong some podcasts from our book Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe the next few weeks. Praying for all of you wonderful ones who join me here.

I hope you enjoy my chat with my sweet friend Sarah Mae today. You can find her and all of her places at sarahmae.com

This is a photo from the last time she came to visit. We always have so much fun.

Books Referenced in this Podcast:







































































 FOR MORE

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Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

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Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

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When Planning (or Anything!) Makes You Feel Inadequate as a Mom ...

It’s an interesting season, isn’t it, the new year? It seems everyone has their planners and new calendars out, and they are posting on social media about their grand plans for the year. Pressure is even higher this year, as it’s not only a new year this January but we are entering a new decade—with no mistakes in it yet! Yet already several times this week, I have been in conversation with different people who have expressed inadequacy in their lives. This from people I love, respect and think are wonderful people.

"When I see what so-and-so is doing, I feel that I fall so short."

"I think I am disappointing so many people--I can't seem to call everyone back, respond to emails, get all the housework done, be patient, and and and..., I always feel like I am falling short."

"My children seem to fight all the time. I just can't seem to manage them like other people do."

"I am such a failure in my marriage."

Even my children have felt this way sometimes.

"Seems all the people who are immoral get the positions I’m trying out for, and I just keep plodding along with no special favor."

"Compared to all of the other professional musicians around, I am not up to snuff."

"Mom, do you think she has more skills than I do? Will you be disappointed in me if I don't do as well as I thought?"

Comparing ourselves to others is epidemic, and it will always, always be destructive. We will either find ourselves falling short of others, which will cultivate self-condemnation, or we will find ourselves better than others, and that will bring pride.

Proverbs tells us that "The fear of man brings a snare."

When we look to others as the standard by which we should live, we make them idols. They become the standard by which we think we should live, instead of living by grace and freedom in Christ. When we look to others for our affirmation, we will never find enough. There will always be someone better, prettier, more successful, wiser, etc. etc. etc.

How grateful I am that Jesus shows no favoritism. He reached out to the unlovely, the unpopular, the meek; children, prostitutes, tax collectors, lepers, Roman soldiers, bleeding women--women, which was pretty revolutionary at the time! He lifted them up and gave them worth. Maybe he did show favoritism after all--to the broken, the humble, those who had no illusions about themselves--those who appropriately realized that they needed a Savior.

Jesus said, "I am humble and meek. Learn from me."

I love coming into His presence. I am usually in my wrinkly pajamas, with sleep breath, no make up, tousled hair, vulnerable--(I am naturally a fearful person.) But I light my candle, pour my tea, and in His presence I find love and acceptance and hope. He made me. He knows me, and as Psalm 103 so kindly tells us, "He is mindful that I am but dust." But I am also part of His family. I came from Him--His very own Spirit. He formed me in my mother's womb. He will always be loyal and accept me because I am a part of His very being in this world.

In His presence, I am adequate, because He saved me so that I could be in His presence without pretense or performance.

"Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

Not come to me all who are perfect, have arrived, have accomplished enough.

If I am acceptable to the Lord of Hosts, the king of the whole universe, then I need not compare myself to others. As a matter of fact, it is the only way I am acceptable to Him— if I don't try to come to Him on my merit, because I will always come up short.

I love the story of the little drummer boy, which I listened to at Christmastime as a little girl. The scene I pictured was the traditional manger scene of Jesus. Humble shepherds, keeping watch in the fields, heard the angels and sought the baby who had been born King of the Jews. Yet, there were also the great "seers" from the far East. Seems that the wise men all dressed in silks, satins, and velvets adorned with gold. They were carrying more gold along with frankincense and myrrh as they approached  the manger where baby Jesus was born. These magnificent kings probably also came with an auspicious entourage of servants, camels, baggage, and fine jewelry.

However, the poor shepherd boy had no possessions--nothing to give to this newborn Servant, come from heaven. He had nothing to compare to the finery of the wealthy, learned men. As he pondered what to do, he realized he could play a song for baby Jesus on the rude drum that he highly valued. And so the young boy, humble, uneducated, with no title or prowess, approached the crib--and played with all of his heart.

"I played my drum for him, parumpapumpum. I played my best for him, parumpapumpum."

To honor the Lord Jesus, the little drummer boy gave what he had, offering his heart of love with his gift.

That, of course, was what Jesus wanted--the boy's love, the boy's admiration and willing heart.

Now that is something I can give wholeheartedly--myself, my love, my faith and gratefulness. I may not give perfection, or maturity, or prowess, but I can give him my little girl heart. The heart that sees His beauty, His unconditional love, the freedom He gives me to be me, just as I am. And that makes me respond with such love and appreciation. How very grateful I am that Jesus does not compare me to anyone else. He is my justification. He is my badge of honor.

So, this new year, may I give Him the gift of my adoration, not because I will ever be enough, but because He is my all in all.