Sally Clarkson's Blog, page 97
October 10, 2019
A Family Culture of Unconditional Love: Only You Can Be You
Lisa, Misty, Sally chatting about how different our 15 children were and how we came to love them.
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Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. I Peter 4:8
Six of us were tucked here and there between blankets on couches, mugs of hot chocolate and marshmallows in hand and enjoying the crackling fire in our den. It was a freezing December day with snow falling heavily outside, while we sat warm in body and soul in the fine company of each other.
After a heavy sigh, one of my boys said, “You know, almost everyone I have met in my world of work comes from some kind of broken background, with abuse or divorce or unhappiness. And those stories of instability and pain seems to paralyze them in so many ways. I hardly know anyone who came from a healthy background.”
“It is so great to be back in our family culture of love—no matter what conflict or difficulty or failure or attitude I’ve been experiencing, I know I can come home to unconditional love and have all of you here to support me, to accept me, to help me. I never knew how blessed our family was until I left home. We have so much to celebrate together. I am so happy to be here, to be able to restore.”
A Culture of Love—I had never thought of it that way, but it spoke volumes to my mother heart. All of us as families create a family culture of some kind. The traditions we keep, the meals we make, the routines we practice, the values we espouse and hold, the movies that are our favorites, the church we attend, the generosity we practice, the way we invest time, the company we keep—all of these come together to craft our individual family culture. We can also, inadvertently, create a family culture negatively—a culture of anger, neglect, guilt, discord, disharmony, worldly values, and so on.
Crafting a culture of love requires that I as a mom become the conductor of a loving and generous heart that leads all of my children to understand gracious, generous, sacrificial, validating, forgiving love. To create such a culture requires planning, intention, mature responses, words of life and affirmation, patience, and just lots and lots of unconditional love.
We pray our newest book (YES! Two new book babies in one month—so much excitement around here!) will be an encouragement to you as well as your children!
Printables:Only You Can Be You Coloring Page
Books Referenced in this Podcast:
More Resources
Only You Can Be You Book Page & Resources
Life with Sally
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October 8, 2019
New Children's Book: Only You Can Be You & Nathan & Me Podcast
We always did enjoy reading books together…..:) Nathan, 30, and me reading our new book together. :)
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When you give birth to your children and hold them in your arms, you don’t really even know how to imagine what is ahead of you. My little bundle of Nathan came out without a peep in less than 2 hours after I went into labor. He was calm for about two days and then he never quit wiggling and talking and “being” other than an active little boy ever again!
How could I have held him and imagined that I would work on projects, write books, speak at conferences and have lots of adventures with this full of energy boy, who has become a film and television actor, a script writer a producer and a 6 time author! You never know what your little one might have in store for themselves—and you!
It’s part of why we decided to write Only You Can Be You. We wanted parents all over the world to speak acceptance, understanding, love, affirmation into the very core of their children’s being to understand that who God made them to be, as they are, is a masterpiece.
We have received hundreds of letters from many of you who loved our first book together, Different: The Story of Different: The Story of an Outside-the-Box Kid and the Mom Who Loved Him. Most of you told us that you were so happy to find someone else with a child who was bigger than life who understood your life. And all of you said, “This book has helped me learn to love all of my children just as God gave them to me.”
We wanted to follow up with a beautiful children’s book so that we could help parents know how to pass on a foundation of love right into the brain pathways, the early messages of their lives. Here is our summary of our book as our publishers described it. Hope you like our podcast as we discuss this today and hope you love sharing the book with your children.
Some kids like to dance and laugh out loud, and some sit quietly and make up stories in their heads—but we're all different, and that's okay because the maker of everything made us this way!
In our first picture book, bestselling author Sally Clarkson and her son Nathan encourage children on the journey to discovering their strengths. Mother and son duo draw on themes from their first book, Different, the emotive story of Nathan's experiences growing up with mental illness and learning disabilities and Sally's journey to loving him unconditionally. With the powerful truth that what makes you different makes you great, Only You Can Be You will help children embrace their differences and celebrate the differences in others.
The irresistible rhymes paired with Tim Warnes's whimsical illustrations encourage your children with the reassurance they're looking for in their own uniqueness. Whether they are quiet or artistic, funny or boisterous, your children will love this heartwarming read that assures them that they're wonderful exactly as they are.
Get your copy today.
Only You Can Be You: What Makes You Different Makes You Great
By Sally Clarkson, Nathan Clarkson
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Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.
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Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.
Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!
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October 7, 2019
It's a New Baby ... BOOK! Welcome Mom Heart Moments (and Launch Party Info!)
Mom Heart Moments is officially LAUNCHED! We’re so excited that this new book baby has been born into the world, and hope you’ll love it as much as we do. This book was created to help YOU develop time for prayer and reading each day, in an accessible way. We pray it will be helpful and an encouragement to mamas everywhere!
From the book …
"I picture my children’s souls as gardens and realize that greatness of character must
be planted, cultivated, fertilized, watered, and protected while I consistently watch for
and remove weeds and bugs and all that would kill what’s struggling to grow there.
I understand that discipleship must be very intentional. It must be a daily, moment
by moment endeavor. It is a way of life. Excellence of character does not develop by
accident, but it is an intentional goal that must be set and worked toward."
“There are brave, courageous women in my midst who, against formidable odds, have held fast to Jesus, and their stories are breathtaking and encouraging and cause me to want to trust Jesus more for my own problems. ...
The eyes of our heart and the obedient choices we make when we are squeezed by life will determine the kind of women we become.’
We will be hosting a live launch party TONITE at 9pm Eastern. Go to my Sally Clarkson page on facebook or find me on Instagram to join us, and especially to find out who’s won the $1,000 giveaway to come visit me! And of course, be sure to order a copy of Mom Heart Moments for yourself—or a friend!
Mom Heart Moments: Daily Devotions for Lifegiving Motherhood
By Sally Clarkson
October 6, 2019
What Downton Abbey and Motherhood Have in Common (and a Podcast!)
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The girls and I were so excited to visit Highclere Castle, where the TV series Downton Abbey is filmed, last year. It’s a lovely home which has actually been used to serve people in many different ways over the years, adding to the beauty that’s been cultivated there by the owners. If you ever happen to be in England, you must visit!
Lots of the ladies on our national team have been eagerly awaiting the premiere of the new Downton Abbey movie, and were excited to see it when it came out last week. We realize everyone has different tastes, convictions, and levels of content they find appropriate for themselves and their families, and there are a couple of scenes that some of you may not find acceptable. But, our team visited the UK and because of the history, the stories, Misty sent all of us al Vox about how the movie encouraged her that we loved and we thought it might be of interest and fun for you. Yes, we love the tales and history of many places all over the world and especially Downton, because it was the ultimate Lifegiving Home. So enjoy the podcast and remember how very important you are in creating life for many people that will be a story worth telling in your lifetime.
And hear what we learned about this amazing castle that inspired Joy and me and Sarah.
The story of Downton is the story of a time when the monarchy and its attached systems of Earls, Counts, and all the rest was in demise. “Landed” families—those with titles, who were effectively the overseers and caretakers of those large estates, including the people who lived within the boundaries of each area—had a choice to make: remain and try to keep managing the upkeep and maintenance of massive homes, often without the income they’d previously brought in, due to the rapid changes taking place in society at the time; or give it all up, sell those massive homes and give up their positions in order to live simpler lives.
For many of us, watching Downton felt a teeny tiny bit as if we were watching our own lives, as sometimes maintaining the values and ideals we hold in the face of a culture which is determined to throw them away feels overwhelming, too. Today, Misty and I are talking about our reactions to watching Downton, and the parallels we saw between the movie and motherhood. We hope you’ll listen in, and also that you’ll be sure to get your own copy of Mom Heart Moments, which launches out into the world TOMORROW!!!
And we hope you will be encouraged by Mom Heart Moments.
Books Referenced in this Podcast:FOR MORE
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Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.
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Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.
Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!
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October 3, 2019
Don't Stress Out, It Will Kill You. Find a Smile In Your Heart! (And an extra podcast!)
"In quietness and rest shall be your strength." Isaiah 30:15
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Today, I ran into a friend I hadn’t seen in a while. We caught up on basic details and then she said, “You know, I am not a perfect mom but I try so hard to be a good mom but sometimes I fail..”
How often do we all feel that way? No mom is a perfect mom. Many of us probably all need to chill a little bit and take a chill pill-fun pill. I read somewhere that if you just sat and smiled about 10 or so times—totally smiling to the far corners of your cheeks and with your eyes—all in—that you would begin to stimulate happy hormones and actually start feeling less sad.
And laughing is healing, say all the physicians. How long has it been since you have had a smile in your heart?
Plan fun or laughing into your life every day. Remember when you used to be fun?
So often, we give and give and give and then wonder why we become grumpy or short in patience. But, God has put rhythms into our lives to remind us just how much we need our bodies to go completely away from the stress of the day in order to cope with the demands of life.
God Created Cycles of Rest
The day has a cycle about it--so many hours of light and darkness. In the light we can see to read, to work, to be active--but darkness was to be a signal of closing the day and its duties off.
Sabbath was also instigated by God to remind us to stop, to put aside work, to put aside the frenzy, to rest and cultivate peace and to restore.
In our 24/7 world, with false lights to keep us up and working all hours of the day, 24 hours of internet, 24 hours of tv, cars with lights that can travel all hours, etc., we lose the concept of day and night, work verses rest and refreshing.
Stress Kills
Numerous articles have come my way that says stress is at the bottom of multiple deadly diseases. Stress creates extra cortisol which is a hormone that puts the body in a continuous shock mode and taxes the adrenals.
No wonder there are so many stress diseases--heart attacks, obesity, thyroid problems, cancer, nervous and anxiety disorders, depression, mental disorders, and emotional disorders, diabetes. We are busy all the time, feeling guilty for all we do not get done and wearing ourselves out—but redoubling our efforts to work harder, do more.
And even Scripture tells us, “Fret not, it leads only to evil doing.” Proverbs
I realized many years ago that I was becoming very ill from so much push, push and work, work, work. I also realized that no one else was going to take responsibility for my health and well-being but me. I made a plan and put rhythms into my life that relieved the stress, gave me some breathing room for my body, mind and heart.
One of the reasons moms yell at their children is that they never get a break. Grumpiness and anger comes from pushing, pushing, pushing.
An hour of rest and getting away was a regular rhythm in our home. Every afternoon, I put a pot of tea to boil and poured out cups of tea, or little sippy cups of juice or whatever seemed good, and everyone learned, by training to go to their "places" for a personal time. (More on how I accomplished that later.) I could not have done without my hour in the day.I trained my children to it early, even as toddlers and it gave me the ability to have a one woman tea time.
I also, committed to Sabbath rest on Sundays--closed all of my "work" on Saturday and did not pick it up until Monday. It was all still there when I got back to it, but the world did not fall apart when I did not work on Sunday--but, I was much more able to keep up the demands of my life when I took off and made Sunday a day or worship, rest, pleasure, fun and naps for me.
Work and travel chases me every day, demands my life's blood. But, I rule over this force that would overcome me. Stop. Put it all aside. Rest.
Other pleasures that I have fit into my schedule:
*A Saturday morning out for breakfast with a friend or my girls, most weeks and a rousing walk by the old Victorian Homes I love to see.
*15 minutes tea time on my front porch to enjoy the aspens and breezes every day during the late spring until late fall.
*A Nightly walk and ball throwing venture with Darcy Dog
*Books on tape in the car, in my bathroom when I am getting ready, when I wash dishes—to give my mind a little recreation and a great rousing story to distract me from the current issues.
*A phone call to my best friends, (the kids), and a handful of others.
*Sunday afternoon tea time and a sweet of some sort with my friends or family.
So, what will you do?
My mind needs it, my body needs it, my spirit needs it. But as a woman who is attempting to grow in maturity in the Lord, I have had to be intentional about being sure that I include rest, refueling, restoration and inspiration into my own personal life-not just once in a while, but regularly so that I can keep going and going and going.
People deplete me all the time, every day, wherever I go. But if I want to last for many more years of giving out and being in ministry and meeting my children's and husband's needs, I must pace myself. (And, by the way, that is why I am taking some time away from my normal schedule of online ministry—and you can pray for me, that I become refreshed and restored.
Learn to Ignore the Piles
And so, though there are many letters to answer, piles to organize, rooms to clean, groceries to shop for, people to call back, ad infinitum, I will lay them all in the file folders of heaven for God to keep. I have learned that they will all still be here tomorrow, and that God wants me to leave my burdens alone--as He is the father, I the toddler and He will indeed work in all of my circumstances without my help. But if I take responsibility to take care of my own heart and soul, I will last much longer, much better, and even have peace and quietness if I take time to rest.
And so, when I stop, my soul smiles a little more.
May your soul smile very soon.
I hope you will enjoy the articles I have stored up for my newest book, Mom Heart Moments. You can order your copy now and it will be sent out this week. It would make a great Christmas present!
Printables:
Isaiah 30:15 PDF
Be still and know PDF
Books Referenced in this Podcast:
More Resources:
Life with Sally
FOR MORE
Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.
Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.
Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.
Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.
Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!
October 1, 2019
The Long Distance Journey of Motherhood (and a Podcast!)
Motherhood is a very long distance run, and sometimes lonely.
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This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness . . . The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks Him.
It is good that he waits silently for the salvation of the Lord.~Lamentations 3:21-26
Motherhood keeps going and going! It is a long distance run and often we feel isolated and alone. Today, I am talking with my dear friends Margaret and Holly about the ways we have been challenged by the long-range reality of motherhood. I pray you will know that your long distance run matters every step of the way. We hope you’ll enjoy and be encouraged by our conversation!
Life sometimes seems to be an obstacle course. How I face each dip that must be straddled, each curve that must be managed, each barrier that must be jumped will indeed determine the outcome of my race. There is rarely a reprieve, and I always have to be on the alert so that my soul stays in the place of peace and hope.
Holly, me, and missing is our third friend, Margaret.
I want to always go to the place where the truth is, where God’s presence is, giving me guidance and hope. Struggling through difficulties is normal, and I still sometimes feel weariness, frustration, fear, and hopelessness right in the midst of feeling joy, deep appreciation, and love. But I continue persistently looking for His treasures of encouragement and truth.
Seeking God daily is my treasure. I try to make it a time when no one will talk to me or disturb my reverie. (I even sort of trained my kids to expect this and most days they gave me a bit of time by myself-truly, so much repetition and it became a time when they wanted to play alone or read when they were older. Couldn’t be long but it was great.)
I light my candles, brew a cup of tea, and enter into the presence of the Lord. Usually I sit for a few minutes and take in the peace of being quiet and still. Sometimes I fail to calm my soul and instead stew and fret; sometimes I just sit and try to gather my wits and soul about me; sometimes I cry out; and other times, I dig for new truth and knowledge. He is the one Friend whom I go to every day. Without Him, there is no solution for me. Withoqut His help and strength, I will find no path and no peace.
Are you talking to God in prayer as you would converse with a friend? Are you hoping in and waiting for the Lord, as today’s verse suggests?
Find my newest book, crafted to encourage you along the long journey of motherhood, HERE!
Printable:
Lamentations 3 PDF
Books Referenced in this Podcast:
More Resources:
Life with Sally
FOR MORE
Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.
Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.
Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.
Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.
Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!
September 29, 2019
The Secret Place of Power: Mom Heart Moments 5 and Podcast
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“But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you."
Matthew 6:6
The past few weeks have been exceedingly stressful for me. One of those times when you are often brought to tears or at least pain in your tummy, while seeking to try to give it all to God and leaving the stress in His capable hands. I have many practices where I verbally and mentally give it to Him. But for me the stress often comes from being caught in the deep conflict and battles of life my loved ones (children, husband) are caught in and feeling very responsible to change or help meet the answer and needs of unanswerable things. I hate conflict with my loved ones and inevitably, we will often have differing opinions of what to do and how to proceed. And, have I mentioned that we are all very opinionated and stubborn.
I was talking to one of my children who said, “This is the kind of year when you say, Lord, I am pretty sure I am going to blow apart before the end of this day, can you please, please help.” And guess what, mama, I am depending on God again because I have to—there is no way out.
Sometimes life is like that. Yet, those of us who have determined that for our whole lifetime, we will trust God, walk with Him, even in darkness, even when tried to our core, no matter our feelings, we will see His faithfulness and we will grow a godly character.
Godliness comes from a long obedience and heartfelt trust in the direction of a Holy God who is faithful.
Indeed, we cannot always see Him, we do not always feel Him, but faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction (believe, certainty) in things not seen.
This morning, the words above capture me. My Father is waiting for me in secret. He longs for me to come to Him, to tell Him of my secrets. To confess my sin, my weaknesses, fears, vulnerability, my selfishness. to tell Him that I actually believe He is strong enough to hold me, to give an answer that will be good, to be willing to believe that he will provide.
And my own conflict resolved itself today as several of us, after much faith walking, praying, asking for wisdom, asking for intervention and for His peace.
Dreams matter to him because I am his beloved child. Perhaps he even placed them there. Perhaps He wants to expand them.
To think of Him waiting and willing to answer, to love me, to talk to me to respond--to change the course of history because I came to Him, my Father.
Oh, to leave Him waiting with me not showing up.
Oh, Father. Thank you for waiting for me here, my secret place with you, where you do not allow anyone else to interrupt, or bother us. You are so very considerate to make this time for me. I come to you as a little girl, I am here to be your beloved daughter. May you know how very grateful I am to have you all to myself. I love you, my dearest of all dearest Fathers.
Do you ever, like me, neglect to answer God’s call? Do you ever leave Him waiting?
Sometimes we do so because we just don’t know what to say. Maybe we are feeling dry and exhausted, and we don’t even know what to read in His word.
I pray my new book is an encouragement and help to you as you’re answering God’s call each day. A simple scripture, a bit of a thought from me, and then questions or something to ponder will offer you a place to begin. Find it HERE.
Printables:
Godliness Quote PDF
Books Referenced in this Podcast:
More Resources:
HEAV Conference
Hutchmoot
The Rabbit Room
Life with Sally
FOR MORE
Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.
Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.
Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.
Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.
Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!
Play Episode
September 26, 2019
In the Midst of the Storm, You Can Be Anchored
Storms Happen."for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways." James 1: 6b-9
Storms of culture and of life seem to play havoc with us sometimes, as we are tossed about and blown asunder from without and within. As we look at the wild waves threatening to overcome us, panic is a natural response. Fear paralyzes.
I know so many dear freinds who are facing their own fierce storms, and I wish and hope for them to be comforted as the storms are raging.
Jesus tried to help us understand and know that this place on earth, was a place where sadness would abound. But He is with us and so compassionately cares. He cries with us, He sympathizes with us, It is why He came.
Jesus said, "In this world you will have tribulation." He never promised that this world is the place of fulfillment and bliss.
Yet, we can so easily imagine it--what would fulfill and make us happy. Why? Because we were originally designed for pleasure, love, goodness, joy. Satan would love us to think that our precious Lord has forgotten us.
But He came so that we would not feel alone.
He is in our midst. Psalm 139 tells us, "Where can I go from thy spirit? Where can I leave from thy presence? Even the darkness is not dark to thee and the night is as bright as the day."
Three things I am learning to do in the midst of my own storms.1. Remember and list all of the ways you have seen God's faithfulness and answers to prayer, over your lifetime. This is why our family celebrates family day. Even in the most difficult years, we could look back and see His handprints in our lives--He was always there, He was always providing. He looks upon us with compassion.
Once, as a little girl, I had double pneumonia, was gasping for breath in an oxygen tent, and feeling scared. But then, I heard a familiar sound. My father, a business man, wore wing-tip shoes, and above the noise and spew of the oxygen, I heard the stout sound of His shoes, chipping down the hall way toward my room, and my heart was immediately at ease. I thought, "Now Daddy is here. He will be sure they take good care of me. I will be okay."
And so, we need to listen for the wing-tip shoes of our heavenly Father who is coming to our rescue. He will take care of us and we will be okay, too.
2. Find a promise; hold fast to His word.
Have you ever been in the car with your children and all of them start speaking to you at once and continue speaking as though you can hear their voice above the roar? Too many voices keep us from hearing. And so the voices of the world, of fear, of what ifs, all speaking at once drown out His voice, the only one who is truth and who will bring wisdom. So, we must still our lives and sit quietly that He may speak to us.
"I will never leave you or forsake you." Hebrews 13:5
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you." Isaiah 43:2
Allow the Holy Spirit to comfort you and fill your heart with the peace and calm of His strength and presence. If we look to outer circumstances for our happiness and peace, we will always be defined by the limitations and battles raging in a fallen, sinful world.
3. Determine to hold fast and to be a courageous warrior in your battles.
Do not give up your legacy of a story of faith. Your children are looking to your story to give them courage in the story they yet will yet live. Hold fast, find a friend to pray with, and stand strong. Today is the day you have to proclaim His faithfulness in your own life for all generations to see. What a shame if we all gave up--there would be no stories of His strength, grace and truth.
So, find a way to stay strong. Pray every day with a friend. Fill your mind with beauty, songs, and stories of those who have gone before. Rest deep inside your heart and see His love for you.
Right in the middle of the boat, deep in the midst of the storm, Jesus was resting, sleeping, in the arms of His Father, knowing He was not alone, and understanding that His Father's strength would calm the storms.
For daily encouragement in your walk with God, please check out my newest book!
Mom Heart Moments: Daily Devotions for Lifegiving Motherhood
By Sally Clarkson
September 24, 2019
Give Your Children the Gift of Loving Who They Are & Podcast
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.Romans 12:1-2
Comparison is rampant in our culture. Social media has made it worse. When there were no messages flooding hearts and minds every day online, when people lived in their homes without commercials, (before television) and without the internet, they were much more likely to be content with the limitations of their lives. They did not expect to have the body of a 20 year old model or actress, or the home of the rich and famous, or the education of a Harvard graduate. They just lived within the limitations of their own culture and home.
And now, children are pushed and pulled, tested way too early, expected to perform well for the sake of the mama’s self image and developing anxiety at far too early of an age.
There was a period of 4 1/2 years when Clay and I did not make a regular salary as we were getting Whole Heart Ministries off the ground. My kids mainly played on the land where I was living with my mother-in-law!!!! But we had devotions, then read a while and they would play out on our land, build forts, run wild, dress up, imagine and pretend the stories we had just read. They were free to be who they were, to live in the grace of a childhood without the confines of cultural expectations.
Giving your child the gift of acceptance for who they were designed to be is one of the most valuable foundations you can provide. If we want our children to be able to embrace their own spiritual convictions and to be able to go against a secular culture, they must first learn to feel comfortable and confident in who they are, as they are.
I came across this blog post I had written a few years ago when several of my children were still living in and sometimes out of our home.
*******
After being away from home for 10 days for Joel’s graduation in Boston, I jumped back into real life because Nathan had joined Clay and Joel for a boys week the last few days Joy and I played. I requested that Nathan stay an extra day so that I could spend the whole day with him before he went back home.
Going out with him for a 3 hour meal was the place where dreams were shared, struggles defined, antics and stories of life were told. I learned many years ago about the importance of really focussing deeply on my children so that we could become best, heart-close friends. Nathan likes to talk, alone, focussed and about everything. He likes to be heard and understood.
And so today, we honored our friendship that had been built from hundreds of hours of doing this together in his young life.
As a mother, mentor I have had to learn to study each child--figure out what they were created to do with their lives, how God made them, what inspired them, what irritated them, what caused them to listen to my teachings about God. In figuring out their hearts, I could fill in their felt needs and be a source of influence in their lives.
Most mamas are taught formulas: treat all children the same, give them the rules, expect them to fit. But God did not make them to fit in conveniently to our expectations of what a person should be. Yet, as a very “out of the box” woman, I knew that my children didn’t need the poison of comparison, but the grace to fully develop into mature individuals within the context of their personalities.
Sarah is a dreamer, introvert, deeply idealistic and artistic about life and a woman of profound and beautiful words.
Joel is also introverted, also idealistic, but a crafter of designs—as a little boy lego cities, now a photographer, writer, composer, a creative.
Nathan is my passionate extravert, lover of life, pretender with costumes, actor, filled to the brim with ideas, thoughts, and needs to express them, very intuitive about life, stories, messages.
Joy is is charming, hysterically funny, spiritual, academic, extravert, driven to action, teacher and confident from the get go.
Two quiet, two verbal processors, but all wonderful. And giving them the gift of affirmation for who God gave them to be helped them to move into their worlds more confident of what story they would play in their world.
Nathan and I wrote this book with the hope that we could help mamas share pictures that would stick in their children’s minds of how very wonderful it is to be unique, a one of a kind design from the hands of God. I hope you will read this to your children, engage them in who they feel they are in the pictures and tell them how much you love them just as they are.
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Only You Can Be You: What Makes You Different Makes You Great
By Sally Clarkson, Nathan Clarkson
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September 22, 2019
Cultivating Beauty to Nurture Hope MHM3 & Podcast
Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul.
He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. Ecclesiastes 3:11, ESV
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Women long for ideals, beauty, and goodness in the depths of their souls as a consequence of God’s elegant design. Intuitively, we all sense there is a better way, a better place. A sense of justice tells us in our hearts that life should be fair, because we were created for a perfect world filled with the virtues of God’s character. These shadows of a long-lost reality lead us to hope for heaven, that place where we will not be disappointed.
Our deep longings become a platform for our hope in God. We sense there is something more that we were made for. If we can imagine fulfillment, deep, unconditional love, and long for the ‘more” that wrestles inside of us, we can assume it was because God made us for more.
Jesus’ disciples depended on this hope, authentic to them because they had experienced Jesus face to face, the one who healed, served thousands, walked on water, washed their feet. They knew their hope was founded on reality. Their sure hope of heaven gave them joy in this world.
Many years ago during a time of testing, I renewed a promise to God that I would trust Him. In light of my commitment, I would act in faith, believing that what I had learned from Scripture was true. Redoubling my efforts to give God the chance to speak to me as often as possible, I disciplined my life to have quiet times almost every day. Sometimes the quiet times would be full and fruitful; sometimes they were extremely short and empty; sometimes I was dull and dead inside. But over many years I learned to turn over my worries and fears, one by one, to God and leave them there with Him.
One of the most important parts of my day is the time I set aside for prayer, reading, and pondering God’s Word. Have you found a special time to set aside specifically to quiet your heart before the Lord? If not, may I encourage you to do so? It’s the best investment you will ever make.
Printables:
Eccelsiastes 3:11 PDF
Hebrews 11:1 PDF
Books Referenced in this Podcast:
More Resources:
Mom Heart Moments Launch Team
Life with Sally
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