C.B. Potts's Blog, page 2

Friday Morning

You have to know your magic as it is now, not how you wish it will be.

Tim went out just before three for a structure fire; it's a very quiet morning here. The girls are asleep. I've swept the living room and weeded the asparagus; the rhubarb has gotten tall enough that it's time to make a pie. Yesterday included a disastrous work meeting that triggered all of my control freak issues; later, we went to the fire department to get ready for the parade and while many people were busy,...

Thursday Morning

There's a type of habitual numbness that can develop when you learn that feeling is dangerous. There's also a state of baseline calm, where life is going along as life goes along but nothing exceptionally dramatic is happening - it's all good, as it were - no triumphs, no tragedies, just Thursday. There's the deliberate sort of meditative zoning out where you remove yourself at least mentally from the hubub around you; there's the quick version of that too - pick your pois...

Wednesday Morning

Your childrens' expectations of life are not shaped by what your own experience of childhood was like. Instead, they form their expectations based on their own experiences and that of their peers, as well as what they see in the media. This means that they can take for granted things that would have been beyond your wildest imaginings when you were their age; not just technology and stuff, but things like how they'll be treated by others and the nature of support they can rely upon th...

Tuesday Morning

Where is the line between bitter and realistic? Last night I sat in a meeting and was told how important it was for everyone to work together to support the town & foster a sense of community. After ten plus years and multiple members of the town leadership body telling me I'm going to hell and people like me shouldn't exist, I find the amount of work I'm willing to do is...limited.

I heard myself saying something to that effect, and thought, Wow, crazy curmudgeon achievement u...

Monday Morning

I put on a shirt yesterday and discovered it has become a dress. Not a marginal dress, the butt-cheek brushing type the girls occassionally try to convince me isn't too short - an actual dress that came to mid-thigh. I've been trying to do healthier things for myself and knew a few pounds had come off - jeans that used to be snug now don't actually fit me - but this was a shock to the system.

I'm not sure it was/is a good shock. I've been struggling a bit with - well, I wou...

Wednesday Morning

My bones are a barometer for deceit; they ache when I'm lying to myself. I feel it in my shoulders, my neck, my hips, my spine; my fingers are fire. I've learned by now there's only one cure. I have to hunt down what's not true, what's not right, what's useful instead of authentic, and get that sorted. Every I'm fine, every it's okay, lately every I can do this takes its toll. Fixing it isn't necessarily easy, but I know I'm on the right track because t...

Monday Morning

It might be one of those days. I'm going to be writing a few pieces for the Mercury transit; here is the first one:

Begin one day with your back to the dawn. Be as naked as you can be; the goal here is to feel the sun's warm touch as it rises. Close your eyes and feel the heat soaking into you; know the slow burn climb from ankles to hips, up the column of your spine, to the shoulders you carry the world upon. Let there be nothing but this - feel and listen and be, just for a moment, w...

Friday Morning

Not everything is a gender based slight designed to reinforce the patriarchy. Was with a woman, we were looking at some horses - animals with which she is not overly familiar - and the owner of said horses cautioned us against going near one particular stallion if it was 'our time' because 'that brings out the worst in him'. Which is a thing that happens, but the woman I was with was absolutely incensed at this sexist discrimination and let the farmer know. He said he'd ta...

Thursday Morning

No matter what, there's a tendency for people to self-segregate into groups that don't communicate with each other. At work, we call this siloing - marketing doesn't talk to customer service, in store people don't know what's happening online; it's a mess that inhibits sales and slows brand growth. I see it elsewhere too; in academic disciplines, people cluster around their chosen school of thought and ignore, if not actively repudiate, all others. Kahneman, in his Thi...

Wednesday Morning

We are rather bad at baby proofing. I am watching a friend's little one today while she goes to a funeral; he is almost 3. After the girls 'got things ready' I still had to pick up the stovewood  hatchet, a surge protector full of plugs, and assorted sharp pointy things. Clearly we are not around wee ones enough...although according to his Mom, all he needs is cartoons and chicken nuggets and he'll be adequately entertained. So the more things change, the more they remain...