A.C. Ping's Blog, page 8

Are You In Balance?

"Always keep your balance. Your dreams come true
only when your feet are on the ground. Keep going,
you never can tell when a miracle will occur."
Bill Clinton

Are you in balance and what does that mean anyway? Yin-Yang, Male-Female, Left brain-Right brain, Work-Play…

We are told the ideal is to lead a balanced life. The principle concept of Navajo metaphysics says that we must walk in harmony with the earth and ourselves lest we do damage to both.  Hozho is the word that describes this balance and it is a key element to being happy.

Sounds great hey? But what does it look like circa 2011?

First thing to recognise is that it's different for all of us – we are all unique so what works for you may not work for me and vice versa. Anyone who tells you that they have THE cure all solution that works for EVERYONE is simply delusional.

So – recognise your uniqueness and honour yourself. Trust that yes you really do know best!

Next – define it – balance that is.

Emotional, Physical, Mental, Material, Spiritual.

Emotional – some people need lots of friends, others enjoy a limit of 3…, some people want to go out all the time, others like to stay at home and read a book, some people need to vent, others need to mull things over. So what about you? What would ideal emotional balance look like?

Physical – same deal – some people need to run 10kms every morning, others need to pump weights, while still more enjoy a quiet walk with the dog. On the food side we are different too – some can eat mung beans others need a steak.

Mental – they reckon the human brain weighs about 4% of body mass but uses about 17% of energy. Neuroscientists now say that we can reshape our brains throughout our entire lives. The old adage of 'Use it or lose it' really does apply. So how do you exercise your brain? And what's the balance between thinking, playing and relaxing that works for you? Remember that fun things like games are good.

Material – so here's the pressing question of our times. What's a good balance between material wealth and happiness? The research certainly shows that below a certain threshold (in the US it is about $60,000 per annum) every extra dollar of income does have an effect on happiness but after that the effect diminishes. So what's your ideal balance of material abundance and free time? How much money and 'things' is enough?

Spiritual – I believe this one feeds all the others – if you are materially rich but spiritually poor you're most likely a bit of an arsehole (sorry) – but seriously – how do you feed and nurture the inner you? This can be as simple as quiet time to take the dog for a walk and go all the way to meditating for hours a day, praying, chanting or whatever works for you. The key is – Are you at peace?

Now you have a picture – what's going to get you there?

In a nutshell - Daily practice and weekly rituals.

Little things accumulate – so 15 minutes every morning setting your intention for the day really does slowly add up. Just like taking time on a weekly basis to exercise, spend time with family and friends, read, write, ruminate and have fun.

If you have a good idea of what balance looks like for you then you can take the time to work out what sort of daily practice and weekly rituals you need to keep you on track, in balance and at peace with yourself and the world.

And the final piece in the jigsaw puzzle – outcome versus journey.

Don't get so focussed on the outcome that you forget to stop and smell the roses.

"Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the shadow."
T.S. Eliot

What Have You Adapted To?

"He who controls the present controls the past
and he who controls the past controls the future."
George Orwell

A couple of nights ago I woke from a deep sleep in the middle of the night to the sound of a car horn blaring. I lay there for a while waiting for the owner to turn it off and when that didn't happen I decided I'd better get up and do something about it.

Opening the front door I was confronted by deep orange flames reaching high into the still night sky. My brain, still vague from sleep, struggled to understand what was going on so I cautiously edged down the driveway to take a closer look.

The image that confronted me was so far outside my frame of reference that I wondered if I was still dreaming because there before me was a car with flames coming out of its windows. As if on cue one of the windows exploded with a load bang, shattering glass at my feet, and to signal the car's demise the horn slowly lost its tone and descended into silence.

Without a breath of wind, and now with no blaring horn, the only sound left was the roaring of the flames and the now, more frequent, explosions as various bits of the car decided to depart with a bang.

It took me a while to relate what I was seeing before me with something vaguely connected and sadly (fortunately?) the closest I could get was a movie scene.

"What happens next?" I wondered, scrolling back through my memories and then hitting play in my mind until I could see the scene where, yes, next frame the car explodes! Ooops time to head inside and call the fire brigade!

In due course they did arrive and put the car out but it left me deeply disturbed and wondering what had happened to my peaceful seaside village.

We humans have an amazing ability to adapt. I remember living in South Africa, a country which unfortunately has a recent history of violence. After being there for a while it was nothing to hear of car jackings and even home invasions – they were just common place. Even when one of the local farmers was hacked to death with a panga (bush knife) by his garden boy it was met with nods of acknowledgement and reluctant acceptance that this was the environment we were living in.

So, what have you adapted to that you might not accept if you looked upon it with fresh eyes? In the World for some bizarre reason we have accepted that we are destroying the environment. We have adapted to a way of living that is killing our planet and despite all of the evidence our leaders still find it all too hard to change.

Why?

"Never doubt the power of a simple revolutionary idea to create a better world"

We've just adapted that's all.

If I lived in a war torn country I might wake up in the night, see a car on fire and simply dismiss it as 'normal'. But would it be ok?

Here in my community we saw it as being totally unacceptable and immediately there was action to do something about it. This was not going to become the 'norm' for the future. Steps would be taken to rectify this abnormality.

Why is this not happening on a global scale?

What is our collective Vision for the future?

What is your Vision for the future?

What has become 'normal' in your World that is totally out of alignment with what you really want?

What are you going to do about it?

Who Decides What Mood You're In?

"A Warrior makes their own mood"

My daughter started school this year but after the initial excitement wore off she didn't want to go. Thinking this was just a normal adjustment after the holidays I went along with her to encourage her to see the good side of school. But after sitting with her cutting up some fruit for morning tea my attention was drawn to a rather large boy roaring like a lion and running about the play area terrorising the other kids. Needless to say my daughter clung tightly to me and begged me to take her home.

I've written before about the ability to 'hold space' and how true power comes from being able to proactively determine your own mood rather than react to what someone else is doing.

It's easy to intellectualise all this stuff but how do you do it and more particularly how do you teach a young child to do it?

All learning is simply remembering so if that's the case how about we just ask some really good questions that will prompt the remembering?

So – here's a game we play.

If she gets upset in the morning thinking about going to school I ask her

"Who decides what mood you're in?"

"Do I decide? Does Mum decide? Does your teacher decide? Do the other kids decide? If they tell you to be in a bad mood will you do that?"

Eventually, of course she snaps out of her crying and starts thinking about what mood she actually wants to be in and then she starts to step into her power and to actively begin to hold space.

So, who decides what mood you're in?

Before you get out of bed in the morning take a few moments to DECIDE what mood you want to be in and to set INTENT for the day.

Mostly I've found people's intentions don't vary too far away from being calm, peaceful, focused and relaxed.

Once you've done that then work at it during the day to make sure you hold that space. Be aware of the person who cuts you off in traffic and others who may tempt you to lose your cool but don't let them spoil your day simply ACKNOWLEDGE and REFOCUS.

"Oh geez that person really upset me however my intention for today is to be calm and peaceful and so I CHOOSE to make my own mood"

Note here that I'm not suggesting you REPRESS your emotions. Don't become like a pressure cooker about to blow your lid.

ACKNOWLEDGE – I feel ….

And REFOCUS – however this is what I want and this is what I CHOOSE

A simple question with a powerful result.

Who decides what mood you're in?