Kevin DeYoung's Blog, page 41

Mom and Dad, Your Job Is Not Over

Guest Blogger: David Hinkley, Director of Children and Youth Ministries at University Reformed Church

There are very few griefs for a parent greater than a child who turns away from the gospel faith in which they were raised. The anxiety and fear is difficult to put into words—it feels helpless, hopeless and often very, very lonely.

A strange illusion of competing commitments is created. On one hand is the Savior who has loved and saved the parent and on the other hand is the child He has given them to love. Luke 14:26 moves from the realm of abstract affirmation to a cold and heart-rending reality.

The enemy works overtime to foment despair and relational destruction. Quickly the parents’ heart assigns blame to the following: their spouse (“Why didn’t my husband read the Bible with him more?”), their church (“If only this church had a better youth program!”) and themselves (“Surely this is a punishment for the secret sins of my heart.”; “If only I had done family worship more consistently”; “If only I had prayed for them more”, etc.).

A sad reality is that because of fear and poor theology, brothers and sisters in the faith can be employed by our enemy to tempt us toward despair. We don’t really want to accept that each of our children will ultimately stand before the Lord on their own. We devise schemes: “If I catechize, school them right, make sure they don’t miss morning and evening service and don’t commit any grievous sins, God will take them to heaven.” Those schemes turn into judgments: “Their adult child has left the church, obviously they failed on one of their important tasks”. Satan’s desire is to make us think parenting is a mathematical function with regular outcomes. Or a magic spell with happiness at the end of it. Or a reward system built around good works.

But it isn’t. Even if you had been a perfect parent, you could not have created faith in their hearts. Many of the things you worry about are true. You should have read the Bible more. You should have prayed more. You should have discipled them better. But these actions would not have produced faith.

Christian parent of a straying child, you cannot save your child. If your good works aren’t going to save you, what makes you think that your good works were going to save your child? It isn’t that what we do isn’t important in to their salvation—God commands us to train them up and teach them His word in order that they might hear His voice and respond. Our job is to create the necessary conditions for the faith to ignite.

Your job has been to teach the faith and to show them your own faith. Ask yourself, do your children know the gospel? Do your children know where your hope is? Do your children know from your life that God’s mercy has changed you? If the answer is no, now is the time to get to work on that. That was your job, and it still is your job. Your job is not over. The enemy wants you to believe that the time of your witness has passed. As if turning 18 and moving out of the home has now altered your child to such a degree that they cannot be overtaken by the miracle of faith.

Stop despairing, stop recriminating. Stop spinning your wheels. Repent of what needs repenting and move forward with what has always been your task: showing your child with your words and your life the goodness and trustworthiness of your faithful savior.

They are watching you even now. They can’t help it. They are watching how you deal with grief and with this grief in particular. You have to show them that He is enough. If you want them to catch the faith from you now, they have to see that Christ is sufficient for you. He is their only hope just as He is your only hope. That was your job when they were in your home and that is your job now.

We can’t save our kids, but we can show them how to get off the sinking ship. Even still. How?

Keep the truth

There are things upon which you can indeed “bend”. Don’t forget that saved and joyful persons actually exist on the other side of non-essential beliefs. If you have a child who is floating to the other end of some smaller theological/philosophical/practical topic, fight for common ground! Affirm what is good about their convictions.

However, love does not pretend that theological non-negotiables are negotiable. Rejecting the authority of Scripture or the reality of sin or the exclusivity of Christ will encourage your child toward Hell. Your child cannot (and will not) return to a watered down faith that has no power to save. Don’t pretend that the truth isn’t the truth.

Keep the relationship

You don’t have to approve of their sin to be a part of your child’s life. This is far easier to say than to do, but have faith that it is possible to have a relationship that neither affirms their sin nor ignores it. Cutting ties with your straying adult child will not produce the change in them that you want. Speaking the truth in love and showing the sacrificial love of Jesus may, however, create the necessary conditions for change.

What is more, it is possible to be firm about the truth and not tell them about it every time you see them. Maybe we think that if we just say something enough they will finally catch it, but it does not work that way. If your child knows what you believe and there is no “bending” about the essentials, you are then free to show them love, understanding and compassion—even to spend time with them without reminding them where their beliefs are errant.

Keep the faith

Straying children reveal our hidden idols. Believing parents can even feel that their faith has been in vain if their children do not embrace it. Remember that whether they will face their Creator with the covering of faith or with their sins exposed will not be yours to choose. You do not and cannot dictate the directions of their heart. They must stand before the just judge who is deserving of your and their faith. He is worth every cost and He is worth this cost that you are paying now.

What is more, seeing a parent that you love and respect walk by faith and prayer through pain and uncertainty is exactly the kind of thing that the Spirit uses to turn hearts of stone to flesh. Stop thinking that just because they didn’t catch the faith before age 18 that they never will. Have faith that your testimony will be used by God for a good purpose.

Keep praying

We serve a merciful God who is really there and wants you to ask him for things. His timing may be mysterious and even hard to accept, but there is no doubt that he wants you to ask for your child’s salvation and not give up asking. Your experience is exactly the type of situation Jesus was thinking of when he told the Parable of the Persistent Widow. Just like her, you must knock on the door until He answers. The clarity of this command should give you much comfort. His purposes and timing can be mysterious but he is trustworthy. Your loving, merciful and tender Father is clearly telling you that He wants you to ask for your child’s salvation like a bothersome old woman. Why would He do so if it was not for some very, very good reason?

3 Pitfalls to Avoid When Dating

Guest Blogger: Chip Cogan, former Campus Staff member at University Reformed Church

[image error]It will always be a struggle for Christians to figure out what it looks like to live holy lives in an unholy culture. It seems to be especially difficult for dating couples to handle themselves in such a way as to not be conformed to this world but to be transformed by the renewing of their minds. Over the last six years I’ve interacted with many college students who, from all I can tell, are walking with the Lord and pursuing holiness, but as soon as they start dating they seem to surrender to sexual sin.

Why is that? There are many reasons, but here are three dangers to avoid.

Acting Like A Non-Christian

This should seem so obvious that it’s almost not even worth mentioning—except that it’s biblical. I’ve found that most Christians struggling with sexual sin are ignorant of Paul’s implication in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5. The passage is worth reading:

For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God…

Look at verse 5 specifically: Paul’s implication is that when you indulge in the passion of your lust you are acting like a non-Christian. So here’s the reality: when you sin sexually you are acting like you don’t know Jesus. Are you a Christian? If so, why would you intentionally act like you’re not?

Acting Childish

Like little children, we often prefer the immediate satisfaction of now over the greater fulfillment of later. It’s hard to wait. More than that, why wait when I can have what I want now? Oh yeah, because someone in authority over me told me “no.” And his name is God. But oh how we hate not getting what we want when we want it!

Just like a parent with a child, God knows better than we do and he desires our good even more than we do. When I tell my son not to run into the street it’s not to kill his joy but to increase and prolong it. When God reserves sex for marriage and encourages self-control, it’s not because he’s a prude or a killjoy, but because he is a loving Father.

Acting Arrogant

We often like to play with fire and push the boundaries. Let’s do a quick Q&A session:

Q: Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned?

A: No.

Q: Or can one walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched?

A: No.

Adventures can be fun and rewarding, but adventuring with sin always leads to death. God created our bodies for sexual pleasure and intends for us to enjoy it, but there are God-defined boundaries to which we must submit. A fire in the fireplace is beautiful and enjoyable, but take it out of its designated place and you will burn your house down.

We often think too highly of ourselves. I don’t always hear it said but I often see this lived out: people think they are the exception to the rule. Some people really believe that they are the ones who can play with fire and not be burned. So they think they have no need for clearly defined boundaries or regular accountability. Where others have failed, they are convinced that they are going to succeed.

You are not as awesome as you think, and while your graduation speaker probably told you that you were exceptional, you are certainly no exception to the rule of the scriptures. The world says that we need no boundaries and we can take care of ourselves. Wisdom says otherwise in Proverbs 14:16:

One who is wise is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is reckless and careless.

Let Lecrae instruct you on this:

If you wait ’til you’re alone on a date night

To figure out what’s wrong in the late night

It’s too late, right? You got caught up again

And now you back in sin feel like you can’t ever win

Conclusion

The point is this: you are not the exception, but Christ is. So let’s repent of our sexual sin, childishness, and arrogance, and seek to glorify God with our bodies as we live and date as those who have been redeemed by his blood.

Returning “Home”

Guest Blogger: Katie, former missionary

Five years ago I came back to Michigan after living overseas for three years. It was a hard transition to say the least. In all honesty, it took two years for me to adjust and start to feel normal again. I think it is a challenge for churches to know how to minister to returning missionaries.

There are many things that are unique to the missionary experience, and re-entry can sometimes be hard for people to understand. As I look back at that time, I can see certain things that were helpful as a returning missionary.

Practical help

When an overseas missionary returns, they need to live somewhere. Imagine coming back and having to immediately sign a lease for an apartment or buy a house when you do not even remember which kind of milk you used to buy. Some churches have houses that they offer to returning missionaries until they know what is next for their life. I think this is a great thing. Other missionaries may stay with family or their sending agency has some sort of housing. In my circumstance, a family from our church offered to have me live with them until I got on my feet. This was an amazing blessing in many ways.

First of all, I had gotten rid of everything that I owned that didn’t fit into two carry-on bags and a backpack. Living with a family allowed me to hold off on buying a lot of household goods that I frankly could not afford at that point. It also gave me some breathing room to figure out what was next for me. I was not locked in to a lease or mortgage, and that gave me the freedom to look at different options for the next phase of my life. I was single, so living with a family worked out really well for me.

A family with children probably would not be able to do this option, but it’s good for churches to think through how they could help with housing when a family returns.

Being patient with the transition

When I returned, the prevailing attitude among people here was excitement that I was “home” again. I was excited to be back. I was excited to see people that I loved. I was excited to not sweat profusely all day every day. I was excited to have flushing toilets and hot water. But I was also sad.

I think it can sometimes be hard for people to realize that missionaries build whole lives overseas. I had relationships that I greatly valued. I had routines, places, and responsibilities that I left. I had invested three years to a people and a place, and it was only natural that I would grieve the loss of that. This dynamic of being glad to be back but also missing the life I left, was difficult to navigate. It was also difficult to navigate cultural issues. I had adopted the culture I was in overseas, but also had the background of the United States culture.

To this day, I still do not feel that I fit completely into any one culture. I made cultural mistakes when I returned. I did things and said things that were considered rude in this culture, but were normal in the culture overseas. I was not doing these things on purpose, I genuinely had forgotten or not adjusted yet. When I made those mistakes, some people would ask me about it. They asked with patience and a desire to understand. This was helpful because it showed me aspects of culture that I needed to be aware of, and it gave me an opportunity to ask them what was normal in this culture. It is amazing to me how long it took me to adjust back to the US culture, and I needed those cultural guides to show me how to do it.

Seeing me as me

When I returned I was completely burnt out. I had moderate PTSD, was emotionally exhausted, and had become disillusioned with missions. I felt like my entire three years had been a waste and that I was a failure. I remember that at my debriefing we had to draw where we felt we were at spiritually. My drawing was a piece of paper that was completely colored black with a giant question mark in the middle. That’s where I was at when I returned. I did not always feel that I could admit that though.

Many of my financial supporters were in the church that I was attending. How could I tell them that I felt spiritually dead and like a complete failure? But there were people that I could tell. People that did not see me as a “missionary” but saw me as a fellow believer who was having doubts and struggling. Those safe people allowed me to be honest with not only them, but with myself. They lovingly reminded me of God’s grace, his patience, and his care.

This is by no means an exhaustive list of things that are helpful for returning missionaries. Each returning missionary will have his or her own particular list but as sending churches, it is important to take missionary care seriously both in the field and upon return.

Heartache, Heartbreak, and Heart Failure

Guest Blogger: Dr. Nick Minnaar

I’m not a writer. But I’ve learned the value of recording what has become a bit of a ridiculous story about the Lord’s above average faithfulness to a pretty average family in Michigan. I guess that makes me more of a storyteller, and this story is a love story, where tragedy mingles with beauty. It reminds me of a better story and I’m hoping it will do the same for you. I’m sure you know the story already, but let’s put it plainly at the outset: the God of the universe, infinite in love and mercy, saw fit to redeem a sinful people for himself by making atonement for their sins through the perfect and tragic sacrifice of his begotten son who is our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. (I realize I used the word “story” way too many times in the opening paragraph—I told you I’m not a writer).

So what’s my story? It all started when my baby girl almost died. That was 728 days ago. That’s easy math because her second birthday was yesterday. She had open-heart surgery when she was 2 days old, and right around the 24 hour post-op mark her little heart stopped beating. Well, maybe the story starts a bit further back, sometime in 2010. That’s when we realized that because the Lord had blessed us richly, we should consider doing something risky on account of the gospel. So in September of that year, our two foster boys showed up on our doorstep. We had 4 kids of our own the old fashioned way and figured we had room in our hearts for a couple more who could use a covenant family. They officially joined us via adoption two years later and then Carissa (she’s my lovely wife) got stuck on the idea that we should have one more baby to “hem the boys in”. It seemed like a reasonable idea at the time, but we hadn’t planned on Louisa being born with half a heart.

I’ll spare you the medical mumbo jumbo, but Louisa has Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS). It’s a nasty congenital heart defect that is incompatible with life save for a 3-stage, open-heart surgical process whereby some brave pediatric heart surgeon who has trained for about 70 years cracks open baby chests and changes all the plumbing on a walnut-sized heart. The end result of these 3 surgeries is to allow the right side of the heart to do the job the left side was designed to do (because her heart doesn’t really have a left side). This works for a while, but usually not much more than 10-20 years if all goes well. And well, often, all doesn’t go well.

Like the day after surgery number one, when Louisa’s heart stopped. That was probably the worst day of my life, but what I thought I’d tell you more about now are some other heart problems in our family. I’ve got a heart problem. D (our oldest adopted son) has a tough case of it. And Carissa’s might be the hardest of all. All three of us are afraid of love. There’s just so much to lose.

I’ll start with me. I’ve learned that love is not just about emotion and feeling. It’s also about choice and commitment. But up until our adopted boys, the choice was easy. The commitment was natural. My wife is amazing. I’ve been loving her since she walked through the door of the middle school band room with braces and a flashy Umbro outfit. 20-something years and 4 wonderful kids later, being a husband and father was mostly pure joy. And then the boys came and loving became challenging for the first time. Here was a new dimension to love. Now I had to love someone who resisted and rejected my love, and threw it back in my face. D had me second guessing my capacity to love. He was showing me that my love was often self-seeking and self-referential. I’d never experienced disruptive love, and it was making a mess of my home. But should I expect anything less if Jesus himself was rejected by the men he came to save? Even his own disciples deserted him when it got tough. Why do I think I deserve better than my Lord when my son says he hates me?

And D? Well, here’s how yesterday morning went. I’m getting ready to leave for work and D is up a bit earlier than usual. I hear it start… “Mom, can I stay home from school since it’s Louisa’s birthday?” “No honey, you need to go to school. We’ll celebrate when we’re all together tonight.” Fists begin to pound the floor and then the kicking starts. “But, I don’t want to go to school. I’ll probably puke and everyone there hates me.” “You’ll do great buddy, you don’t have to puke. I know birthdays can be hard, but the Lord will take good care of you and all of us.” By now I’m in clinic praying I won’t get the text, but I do: “What am I supposed to do? He won’t get on the bus. Full freak out in the van, hitting and kicking, screaming, won’t stop honking the horn. Don’t feel safe.” With that, I have to leave a couple patients in their exam rooms and head home. Maybe I’ll be back, maybe not. I literally have to drag him into my car and then drag him into the school. I’m sitting in the hallway with his 2nd grade class waiting to go in and there’s a 4th grade hall monitor who is yelling at me to sit “criss-cross-applesauce”. He’s actually kicking at our feet as he goes by, “bags in your lap!” What is going on and where did they find this 10 year-old former prison guard? I’m having an out of body experience. It’s surreal. Why does D hate us so much? Why can’t he trust our love after all this time? Is there anything we can do at this point? Is he past the point of no return? But now he’s crying, “don’t leave me!” I think I might be going mad.

But this kid has had his brain seriously messed with. His experience says, “don’t get too attached to anyone! They’ll either ditch you or get taken away from you. DON’T LOVE! It’s WAY too painful.” So, he’s taking control by rejecting before he can be rejected. I know it’s not his fault, but he’s making himself almost impossible to love and I’m so tired of trying to break the cycle. It’s become so destructive. I hope and pray that someday he’ll be able to see how hard I’m fighting for him and that I won’t quit on him, no matter what. I have to show him how Christ humbled himself—all the way to the cross. I’m not doing it perfectly, but it’s why I’m still sitting criss-cross applesauce with him on the floor getting yelled at by a 4th grader!

And finally, there’s Carissa. She’s a heart mom. Her charge? Love someone that you’re probably going to lose. She understands how fragile life is now. She heard the cardiology fellow wrap up his hour-long fetal echo with the conciliatory remark, “Sorry guys, tough diagnosis”. She kept vigil at Louisa’s bedside for 4 long days after the cardiac arrest when she was hanging by a thread and seemed more machine than human. Sometimes she thinks if she can hold her tight enough, maybe Louisa will live a long, healthy life or grow another pumping chamber. But there’s a real possibility that this birthday could be her baby’s last one. It’s so painful to love this little girl, yet I can tell you she’s one of the most irresistible humans out there! Having the strength to pack her up on April 18 and head back to that hospital for a third open-heart surgery feels impossible. All those words the doctors have said just echo in her head, “Louisa is very sick. The surgeries are palliative. This isn’t a great solution, but it’s the best we’ve got right now. After this one, we’ll just have to wait and see…” Wait and see if what? Oh right, if she survives.

So, what on earth do we do? We have one child that is spending every waking moment trying to get us to reject him. We have another that the more we love, the more pain we’ll feel when she’s gone. There’s only one place we can go with all the frustration, confusion, fear, and sorrow of our heart problems: the cross. It almost sounds cliche, like some kind of Christian pop song, but there is nothing cliche about the cross. There our Savior gave everything to a people that rejected him. After all the healings, the meals he multiplied, the commanding of storms, the casting out of demons, even raising the dead! And what about the perfect love for his Father that he knew was going to be cut off? Eternally perfect love. A heart mom’s desperate love for her heart baby is nothing compared to this love. How did he do it? Hebrews says it was for the joy set before him that he endured the cross. Being forsaken, despised, rejected, smitten leads to joy?

There must be something about desperate, painful love that produces joy. It was true for Jesus. It’s got to be true for us too. I don’t always know what it looks like to faithfully love D. I don’t know if Louisa has another 728 days of heart beats in her. There’s a lot I don’t know. But I do know that at the end of this story there is infinite joy. In fact, James tells us:

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Perfect? Complete? Lacking in NOTHING? Sounds really, really good right about now.

Working the Thorny Ground

Guest blogger: Kevin McAlvey, Director of Community at University Reformed Church

You take stock of your life and things are going pretty well. Home is fine except for [insert child/spouse/recurring problem]. Work is humming along nicely or would be if only [insert client, coworker, boss, situation, task] weren’t present. Church is a wonderful place but [insert brother/sister/pastor/leader] always seems to be able to spoil that. A word of caution: be careful filling in those blanks too quickly. I am sure there have been people that would put my name in some of them at various times and it is likely the same for you. It is so easy to fixate on the challenges we encounter–not in order to overcome obstacles, but with an I-wish-this-would-go-away-so-I-can-be-happy attitude. I have found myself believing that I am only a few steps away from being truly happy if only I could change a few things in my life.

We should not be surprised when things are more difficult than they seem; as though we have been singled out for trouble. Scripture tells us there will be trials. After Adam and Eve had eaten from the tree in which they were explicitly told not to eat from, God described to them what their post-sin real life would look like. In Genesis chapter 3 God says:

Cursed is the ground because of you; in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life; thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you; and you shall eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, til you return to the ground.

Not all of us labor directly in the field but we all live in this same cursed world. The same reality will be true for us until Jesus returns or until we return to the ground out of which mankind was created. Our labors will be mixed with pain, sweat, and thorns.

Working and living in such a world, we will encounter thorns. When these catch us by surprise, we are tempted to respond sinfully. But when we know these thorns are coming and are properly prepared, we can more successfully fight this temptation. There are at least three temptations we need to be on our guard against as we walk through this thorny life.

DISCOURAGEMENT:

Painful, thorny situations do not necessarily mean that you are in the wrong place or with the wrong people. It doesn’t mean there will be no harvest or that it is all in vain. It is good to examine ourselves from time to time, and there may be things that need to change, but simply encountering problems should not prompt us to give up or bow out. Take heart. What you are encountering is not abnormal. Keep pressing on.

DISCONTENTMENT:

I complain more than I wish I did and am less thankful than I should be. I suspect many of you are the same way. We expect life to be easy and follow our particular plan. When life is hard, we get frustrated and grumble. Things may look easy for others or you may not get the respect and appreciation you think you deserve. Being caught off-guard by unmet, unrealistic assumptions of a pain-free existence can often lead to being disgruntled and dissatisfied. Instead, those who belong to Christ are exhorted again and again to rejoice and give thanks in all circumstances. Fight for contentment by focusing on all that you have been given in Christ. Be thankful.

DISTRACTION:

In Matthew 13 Jesus tells a parable demonstrating how different hearts respond to hearing the message of God’s kingdom. The word is received by some but the resulting growth is choked out by nearby thorns, which Jesus says are the worries and cares of this world. Thorns hurt. Pain hurts. When something hurts, it screams for our attention. This is often a good thing, telling us we need to address something that is wrong. However, sometimes it can distract from what we really need to be looking at. When we focus on the worries and cares of this world we easily lose sight of that which we are actually working towards. Our goal becomes removing the pain, minimizing the sweat, or uprooting the thorns rather than reaping a harvest. We will not be able to remove every worrisome thing from our life and attempting to do so will become an endless exercise in futility. Whatever comes and calls for our attention, as Christians we are reminded to fix our eyes on Jesus.

Seeing Christ keeps us from complaining, it can keep us from giving up, and it keeps us from being led astray. In this life you will encounter challenges. The same was true for the one who left heaven to live among and save his people. He experienced the sweat of anguish—thorns pressed into his skin—and the pain of death on a cross. Because he suffered, we can trust him when we encounter thorns and we can look forward to a new reality where we will eat and live and work without pain. Press on. Work hard. Pull the thorns that you can and patiently endure the ones you can’t. In the midst of whatever or whoever comes your way, lock onto the one who for the joy set before him endured the cross, spurning its shame, and do not lose heart.

 

What Are We Aiming At?

Guest Blogger: Pat Quinn, Director of Counseling Ministries at University Reformed Church

I have the privilege of serving as Director of Counseling Ministries at University Reformed Church. As a biblical counselor I have basically one goal: to connect the Word of God to specific people with specific life issues in specific circumstances in such a way that they learn to “live” by God’s Word. This is both a great challenge and a great joy. Part of the challenge is the seemingly endless diversity of people, issues, and circumstances.

On a beautiful fall day last October I took a walk to reflect on and pray about the breadth and depth of the counseling cases I was involved in. These included a number of sexual, psychiatric, and relational problems. As I walked, rejoicing in the power of the gospel to address, forgive, and free people from life-dominating sin and suffering problems, I asked myself, “What is the common gospel process that applies to any and all issues? What are we aiming at in the people we minister to?” Four biblical verbs—know, pray, trust, walk–came to mind that seemed to capture what all biblical counseling, preaching, teaching, evangelism, and discipling aim at leading people to do in their process of spiritual growth. Notice that these four verbs are not so much our ministry methodology but our ministry outcomes.

KNOW: The first thing we need to do is help people know God’s truth from Scripture. Jesus said, “If you abide in my word, you truly are my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8: 31-32). In helping the Corinthians deal with sin issues, Paul asked, “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Corinthians 6: 8)? And, “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit…” (1 Corinthians 6: 19)? Knowing biblical truth is the essential first step in the “renewal of your mind” that leads to life transformation (Romans 12: 2).

Goal: Help people understand, believe, and embrace gospel truth.
Verse: “Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ” (Colossians 1: 28).

PRAY: If knowing biblical truth is a pretty obvious first step in change, praying over those truths until they actually come alive in our hearts is less so. This dynamic of praying God’s Word into life is beautifully shown in Psalm 119:

“My soul melts away for sorrow; strengthen me according to your word” (Psalm 119: 28).
“Uphold me according to your promise, that I may live, and let me not be put to shame in my hope” (116).
“Let my soul live and praise you, and let your rules help me” (175).

In counseling I often encourage counselees to pray regularly and fervently over the Scriptures we’ve discussed. I am often surprised (I shouldn’t be, knowing my own heart) by the subtle resistance to specific, Bible-based, fervent prayer. However, the practice of praying over the Scriptures, of crying out to God for Bible-directed help and change is powerful.

Goal: Lovingly exhort people to pray over biblical truths until they come alive.
Verse: “Open my eyes that I may behold wondrous things out of your law” (Psalm 119: 18).

TRUST: The third goal of ministry of the Word is to help people to trust in the “affectionate sovereignty” (Bob Kellemen’s beautiful phrase) of God. Knowing and praying gospel truths naturally lead to trusting the God of our salvation. So many problems in life arise from, or are exacerbated by, mistrust of God’s wise, powerful, and loving care. Hebrews 3: 18-19 says, “And to whom did he swear that they would not enter his rest, but to those who were disobedient? So we see that they were unable to enter because of unbelief.” The implication here is that disobedience is caused by the failure to trust in the character and promises of God. The living faith we aim to foster is not mere intellectual assent but relational confidence. The Lord Jesus, our brother and family worship leader, seeks to model and teach us this relational trust: “’I will tell of your name to my brothers; in the midst of the congregation I will sing your praise.’ And again, ‘I will put my trust in him’ And again, ‘Behold, I and the children God has given me’” (Hebrews 2: 12-13).

Goal: Model and teach people to relationally trust the affectionate sovereignty of God.
Verse: “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths” Proverbs 3: 5-6).

WALK: Knowing, praying, and trusting are meant to culminate in an obedient life that honors God, nourishes personal joy, and blesses others. This whole gospel process is laid out for us in this prayer of Paul in Colossians 1: 9-10:

And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.

While trust is not explicitly mentioned, it is hard to imagine walking in a worthy manner, pleasing God, or bearing fruit without it. All ministry of the Word must ultimately help people live God-glorifying lives in the trenches of real life.

Goal: Motivate people to live consistent with the privilege of being in the family of God.
Verse: “Therefore, be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God” (Ephesians 5: 1-2).

Know—pray—trust—walk. These remind me what I’m aiming at in ministry of the Word. I pray they will do the same for you.

Five Thoughts Now that I’m Ordained

Guest blogger: Jon Saunders, Assistant Pastor of Campus Ministries at University Reformed Church

I’m finally done. After years of seminary papers and tests, plus a semester of walking through an ordination trial I’m finally done. I’ve graduated from seminary, passed my presbytery exams and have been ordained as an assistant pastor in the PCA. While the process is still fresh in my mind I thought I might write down a few thoughts on the process that might be encouraging to others still in the process.

1) Work Hard

In the preaching of God’s word hangs the eternal reality of heaven and hell. If a person never hears of God’s saving grace, then a person will never believe in God’s saving grace. A pastor’s role is no joke. Or as John Piper would say it is not even just a profession. Pastors serve as undersheperds for God’s flock that has been purchased by the precious blood of Jesus. This calling demands the hard work of preparation. Seminary and the ordination trial is that preparation.

Of course there are some practical limits to the amount of study you can do. I’m married and have four little kids. I couldn’t study as much as my single friends. But I still wanted to study hard. A seminarian who cuts corner in school, will cut corners in the pastorate. An academically lax student will not magically transform once he is ordained. Set patterns of hard work now because those patterns will stay with you for the length of your ministry.

The number of men who downplayed the role of seminary discouraged me. Their attitude seemed to be “do just enough to get by.” C’s may get degrees but don’t generally result in good pastors. The reality of heaven and hell is too great to have pastors who simply get by.

2) Don’t Complain

Complaining is always a sin. It is never allowed. But complaining about your professor who is asking you to exegete the Bible seems exceptionally sinful. Resenting a presbyter who wants to safeguard the church by having a rigorous ordination process is not a reason for complaint. It is a reason for thanksgiving.

Don’t complain how tough the process is. The process needs to be tough to weed out those that are not qualified. Plus, you knew what you signed up for. None of what you are experiencing should be a surprise. Thousands of men have done it before you. Thousands will do it after you. Nobody is bending your arm to make it through.

Whenever I was tempted to complain I thought of my friends in medical school or law school. Pastors aren’t the only ones who are put through a rigorous training regime. Seminary students can act a bit like martyrs—”Woe to us who must learn Hebrew!” Hebrew is tough, but so is nuclear physics, the fine print of law and understanding the complexities of the human body. Seminary students need to get over themselves.

3) Ordination is the starting line, not the finish line.

My first seminary class was a summer systematic class years ago. Ever since that class I’ve anticipated the day when I would be done with school and could minister as an ordained pastor. That day has now come. For so long I held this day out as the end goal. No more papers. No more flash cards. No more late nights.

But what happened was I wanted this day so bad I failed to miss what seminary and ordination were all about. Seminary and ordination are the training to get me to the starting line of the pastoral race. Finishing this race is the goal.

My wife has started the process of training for a marathon. Just to complete the training required for a marathon is quite an accomplishment. The training requires hundreds of miles run. This is no easy task! To complete the required training is a goal, just not the end goal. You don’t get a medal for signing up for a marathon; you get the medal for crossing the finish line. You don’t get the crown of righteousness for completing your M.Div.; you get the crown for finishing the pastoral race.

Seminary and the ordination trial is the training, not the end. Congrats on becoming ordained. You’ve been trained to start the race of a pastor. Now get running!

4) The men who oversee your process love the church and you.

Ordination is intimidating and humbling. Whether you are being examined by presbytery (Reformed churches) or by your elder board (Baptist churches) it is natural for every young man to feel intimidated. Older pastors are smarter and wiser, plus they wrote the test.

The PCA requires exams in Bible, theology, church order, church history and sacraments. I studied hard and did well in each area, but in no way do I feel like I have arrived in any of the above. After each exam the presbyters would give me some feedback in what I did well and a few ways in which I could grow.

At first I wanted to buck up. “Come on! These exams are hard and now you are giving me some growth areas!” But the reality is I need to grow. In the committee there are loads of wisdom that I need to hear. The brothers are not trying to knock me down. Their feedback is an act of love, helping me to grow into a more faithful pastor.

5) Your sufficiency is in Christ.

My seminary/ordination process was a season of pride and despair, self-confidence and despondency. There were classes that I thrived in, professors who affirmed me and classmates that viewed me as a leader in the church. Who knows, maybe I’m the next big thing? I wonder how big a church the Lord will give me?

And the next day I would experience the opposite. I can’t even remember the Hebrew alphabet and now I need to translate all of Jonah! My preaching professors never liked my sermons (they said I sounded like a T4G preacher, which I take as a compliment!). This past fall was exceptionally tough for a number of reasons, one of them being my ordination trial. I came home one night and cried to my wife. “I don’t think I can do this.”

But God helped me. Humble confidence in God is a tough lesson to learn, but a necessary one for young pastors. The reality is that I will not be as great a pastor as I dream of being, nor will be as bad as I fear. My sufficiency is in Christ and that’s enough. I don’t need anymore, nor do I need any less.

Is It Possible To Be Too Pie in the Sky?

Guest blogger: Jon Saunders, Assistant Pastor of Campus Ministry at University Reformed Church

The non-Christian world has often accused the Church of “being so pie in the sky that we are of no earthly good.” Which considering the number of soup kitchens, pregnancy clinics, after-school programs, colleges and hospitals that have been founded by Christians, it would seem that this accusation is not true in the first place. But for the sake of this blog let’s examine the premise of the accusation.

The non-Christian world has long made this accusation, but in recent years the accusation has come from inside the Christian camp as well. Within our own circles some are claiming the church has been unhelpfully influenced by Plato. If you remember back to your college philosophy class you’ll remember Plato’s allegory of the cave. In this cave the prisoner is able to see the shadows on the wall, but never the true substance that actually casts the shadows. Christians can relate, believing that this earth is just a shadow, the substance will be that glorious day that is to come. Plato is teaching us to be pie in sky. Some scholars are saying this Platonic reading is not helpful because the scriptures teach we live in the substance now. We ought not just long for the day to come, but rather focus on the present.

Even though Augustine spoke in glowing terms about Plato, I assume we can all agree that we should not read the Scriptures through the lens of a pagan Greek philosopher. So what does the Bible have to stay about this? What does the Bible say about the relationship between longing for the day to come and this side of heaven helpfulness?

Hebrew 10:34 seems to make it clear.

For you had compassion on those in prison, and you joyfully accepted the plundering of your property, since you knew that you yourselves had a better possession and an abiding one.

In terms of earthly good, the Hebrews were the best friends you could ever find. Persecution had come to their city and a number of believers had been thrown into jail. Ancient jails did not have modern amenities like we currently have, such as cafeterias. The only hope a prisoner had of surviving in jail was a fellow friend coming and visiting, often bringing food. But here’s the problem, by visiting a Christian in jail the whole city will know that you to are a Christian. No one will visit Christians except fellow Christians. And if you are marked as a Christian, you know what will come next.

Try and put yourself in their shoes. As you know Kevin DeYoung is my head pastor. Imagine Pastor Kevin has been thrown in East Lansing’s jail. His only hope for survival is that I would bring him a Hot N’ Ready (Kevin is extremely picky) from Little Ceasars. The right thing to do is to visit Kevin. This is obvious. But in the back of my mind I know exactly what will happen the moment I drop the pizza off to my friend; my house will be burned and property plundered. I have a wife at home with 4 little kids. Will my kids be safe? How will I raise them with no money? Will I to go to jail with Kevin leaving my wife helpless and my kids fatherless? This is a significant decision to make.

The Hebrews were the best friends you could find. They actively made their lives harder for the sake of relieving another’s pain. They rejoiced to have their property plundered if it meant relieving some of the pain for the Christians in jail.

The Hebrews are of extreme earthly good. We don’t get list of their other good works, but I can imagine it is lengthy in light of this one radical instance.

The question we are answering is if it is possible to be so heavenly minded that we are of no earthly good. We see the Hebrews were of much earthly good. Is this because they we were heavenly minded or not? The answer comes after the comma in verse 34.

Since you knew that you yourselves had a better possession and an abiding one.

The only way the Hebrews were able to be of earthly good was because of their conviction of a better possession and an abiding one. The hope of the day to come was the source of strength to joyfully receive the plundering of their property.

The following chapter in Hebrews is a list of men and women who lived in the same sort of way, like Abraham who looked for a city designed and built by God. All of them were looking for the “something better” of verse 40.

My favorite possession used to be a framed Detroit Free Press front-page article from the day MSU won the national championship in 2000. Our star point guard Mateen Cleaves autographed the poster. It was an awesome piece of sports memorabilia. But over time the signature has faded. Now you can barely decipher what was once clearly there.

My prized possession is fading. So is my car, my house and best electronics. Why live in light of things that fade when I am assured of something better?

If the bad guys plunder my property, that’s ok. I, like the Hebrews, have something better coming. To be of earthly good will often require great sacrifice, perhaps even the plundering of property. Humanity cannot just will up this sort of sacrifice; it must be gripped by something better. We will only be able to lose our home if we know we have a better home coming. We can only loose our lives if we are convinced our best life is ahead of us.

I’m no scholar, but I do know this: sacrificial living is hard. Please don’t rob the saints of the precious promise of the glorious day to come. Because if you do so in the name of not being “too pie in the sky,” you will likely end up with a group who is of no earthly good.

Monday Morning Humor

I hope your work week is off to a better start than this.

The Deadly Sin of Coveting

Guest Blogger: Jason Helopoulos

Many individuals are like the Rich Young Man when Jesus said to him, “You shall not murder, You shall not commit adultery, You shall not steal, You shall not bear false witness, Honor your father and mother, and You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 19:18-19), readily reply, “All these I have kept” (Matthew 19:20). A person may rationalize they have never murdered, committed adultery, or stolen, however untrue their claim may be, but no person in their right mind would say they have never coveted. The final commandment of the Ten Commandments, “You shall not covet,” stands out from the rest. In those few words, the very heart of the Law is laid open to us. God’s Law does not concern itself with our actions alone. “You shall not covet” unreservedly proclaims that our thoughts, feelings, inclinations–matters of the heart–matter a great deal to the Lord.

The sin it strikes at is an all-too familiar companion. It surfaces when we hear of a co-worker’s promotion, see a new car in the driveway next door, or reflect upon the seemingly perfect family at church. This enemy raises its evil head in a moment. We do not need to go looking for it or be schooled in it. Rather, it comes quite naturally. And though this sin is a familiar acquaintance, it is no friend. It is an opportunistic and deadly foe, which grips the heart, turns the affections, occupies the mind, and unravels a life. Where there was peace it brings hostility, where there was love it stirs up division, and where there was contentment it breeds complaint.

Why is coveting so deadly? Because it can never be satiated. Coveting relentlessly craves more of this world; and a person’s thoughts, affections, and heart occupied with the world will cease seeking heaven. It forsakes love for God and disposes one to hate their neighbor. Coveting pulls the heart down into the pit of self-seeking and the muck and mire of envy, slander, adultery, pride, dishonor, murder, thievery, and idolatry. It has rightly been said that when we break any of the first nine commandments, we also break the tenth commandment.

How do we combat such a sin of the heart? Let me offer three simple biblical encouragements: look to Christ, live in contentment, and rejoice in thankfulness. Look to Christ and the things above. “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you,” said the Lord (Matthew 6:33). The more we value Christ, the less we ascribe inordinate worth to earthly things. The more we desire Christ, the less we long for the things of this world. Honor, wealth, material possessions, reputation, worldly success, and even health possess little glimmer when compared to the radiance of the glory of God in the person of Christ (Hebrews 1:3). As we seek Him, we find earthly treasures hold fleeting pleasures, but joy in Him is everlasting (Psalm 103:17). They possess hollow promises, but His promises are secure. They offer comfort, but He insures it (Matthew 11:28-30). Seeking after Christ is an enterprise unlike any other, it never disappoints. His beauty, loveliness, comfort, peace, and joy surpass all this world has to offer.

If we desire covetousness to have no hold on our lives, we also must seek to live in contentment. Contentment is not something we chase after, but rest in. The Apostle Paul said, “I have learned in whatever situation to be content” (Philippians 4:11b). He said to Timothy, “Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment” (1 Timothy 6:6). The Apostle Paul believed in a sovereign God and trusted in this God, who reigns over heaven and earth. He knew God’s providence provided what he needed. Whatever he possessed, it was sufficient, so he could rest content. If God thought it was good for us to have more, he would have given us more. Every Christian rightly seeks to maintain this mindset. And when this is the case, what joy contentment brings to the Christian life. Contentment is one of those rare jewels, once found and treasured it fills the soul with delight.

Maybe the greatest force we can muster against coveting is rejoicing in thankfulness. Thankfulness steers the Christian life away from the dangerous shoals of discontentment. It is difficult to be content in all circumstances if thankfulness does not dwell in our hearts. The Apostle Paul exhorts us even when struggling with anxiousness or concern that we should “by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God” (Philippians 4:6). We want to thank God for what we have received and what He has given. Every good gift and every perfect gift comes from above” (James 1:17). Therefore, we not only rejoice in what we personally receive, but also in the good gifts the Lord has granted others. We and others enjoy these gifts by no mere coincidence. In this we can rejoice in thankfulness. Dear Christian, look to Christ, live in contentment, and rejoice in thanksgiving and send coveting scurrying from your heart and life. It is a deadly foe not to be trifled with. Rather, let us live in love for God and one another–storing our treasures in heaven above.

This article first appeared in the June 2015 issue of Tabletalk magazine.