Caprice Crane's Blog, page 50

This is SO INTRIGUING! Is there a missing comma between...

This is SO INTRIGUING! Is there a missing comma between "play" and "handsome?"

Or is "Playing Handsome" some new game?

Sounds so fun!

This little cutie is my grandma. She looks innocent and sweet as...

This little cutie is my grandma. She looks innocent and sweet as she writes a note here in this old photo, but looks are deceiving. This woman is hell on wheels heels. She's a wise-cracking, totally inappropriate, always offensive, so-wrong-she's-right piece of work.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

The trouble is, she had a stroke yesterday and she's not currently kicking ass and taking names. I need her back in fighting shape. I need to hear that she's hurling insults, making doctors cower and nurses cry.

I need her to be okay.

So please keep her in your thoughts this weekend.

I fully expect her to have caused at least three hospital employees to quit by Sunday.

I know she can do it.

An establishment apparently more desperate than me.

An establishment apparently more desperate than me.

What crimes have you committed?

Stealing hearts and ripping off mattress tags with reckless abandon.

This sign is on the cup holders at the coffee joint I just left....

This sign is on the cup holders at the coffee joint I just left. It says he's "hotter than my mom" (doubt it) but it looks like he's waiting for my dad. AMIRITE?

Ask Max

My dog Max is less sketchy than Randy Quaid and almost as hairy. Max answers your advice questions here:

http://bit.ly/bkLRL4

First you wanna try to sell me a brown tomato and then you wanna...

First you wanna try to sell me a brown tomato and then you wanna call it a "KUMATO?"

I call shenanigans.

I thought I'd be married by now too, Kim. But I also...

I thought I'd be married by now too, Kim. But I also thought that by now I'd have been famously peed on in a sex tape, so you're still ahead of me.

Sleeping angel. Have you ever seen more gorgeous lips? His...

Sleeping angel. Have you ever seen more gorgeous lips? His bottom lip is the stuff dreams are made of.

But how do you spray it directly onto your heart?

But how do you spray it directly onto your heart?