Janine Ashbless's Blog, page 96
May 2, 2014
Fat Blue Lady
It's the start of May - Beltane, or May Day - so that means it's time to give my Fat Blue Lady a new coat of paint and pop her out in the garden for the summer :-)
After I stopped being a Christian, many years ago, I felt that I still needed a spiritual dimension to my life (because that was what I was used to) so I went through what I guess was a "pagan-curious" phase. I looked into Wicca but rejected it rapidly on the grounds that it was just as dogmatic, bigoted and divorced from reality as the religion I'd left. I could never bring myself to take magic seriously. But for a long time I was sympathetic to alternative spiritualities and I hung out with pagans (there are a LOT of them in re-enactment circles, so I met them through work), and I even studied modern shamanism for a couple of years.
My skepticism grew as time went on, and eventually I had to admit that, sod it, I really was an atheist.
Funny thing is, I don't miss anything about Christian ritual at all - no, not prayer or Christmas carols by candlelight or the promise of Heaven - but I do desperately miss pagan ritual sometimes. I loved the fact that it was tied to nature. I loved the going outdoors and putting myself into a mental state where I felt I was directly in touch with the great big living wonderful Universe. Even more beguiling for pagans is the idea that the Natural Universe is aware of and paying attention to you. It's very validating.*
One of the things I'm hoping to recapture when I write The Wheel of Year is some of the joy and the mystery of pagan worship, and that shivery sense of intimacy with something far bigger than oneself. I'm hoping to make the world seem magical once again. Because writing can do that:
“I believe that Magic is Art and Art whether it be music, writing, sculpture or any other, is literally magic. Art, like any magic, the science of manipulating symbols, words or images, to achieve changes in consciousness… Indeed to cast a spell is simply to manipulate words, to change people’s consciousness, and this is why I believe that an artist or a writer is the closest thing in the contemporary world to a Shaman.” — Alan Moore
My base mental attitude to Nature is one of awe and wonder and worship. In my heart I am a nature-worshipping heathen. The thing is ... my heart just can't take my head along for the ride. Fiction is as close as it gets.
*(But is it true? Is it bollocks.)
April 30, 2014
Win Never Say Never
Look - my beautiful contributor copies of Never Say Never: tips, tricks and erotic inspiration for lovers (ed. Alison Tyler) have arrived!
Would you like one?
Here's the blurb:
"Monogamy does NOT have to equal monotony and eroticist author Alison Tyler has made it her life's mission to make sure it never is with Never Say Never! Half of a very happily married duo, Tyler's advice is that couples can build a trust level that makes experimentation truly possible and posits that uninhibited, really exciting, and highly imaginative sex happens best with lovers who just happen to be couples, too. This follow up to Tyler's bestselling Never Have the Same Sex Twice blends her wisdom, expert advice, and favorite erotic scenarios illustrating myriad sexual techniques and fantasies designed to liven up the bedroom."
And here's how to win:
Take a look at the full chapter/theme lineup from 1 - voyeurism thru 15 - femme domme.
By my reckoning, I've written about all those kinks at one time or another (some of them lots of times!) in my various short stories and novels. All but one.
Which of those kinks have I not written about yet? Take a guess, and leave a comment here. For example, if you think I've never written a voyeurism scene (though that'd be pretty dumb since my story Wherever I Wander kicks off the book!) then comment - "voyeurism". Easy, huh? You've got a week! If there's more than one right answer then I'll put names into a hat.
NB: I've got a spam filter running on this blog so your comment won't appear immediately, not until I've okayed it. If you came here via one of my Facebook posts you can leave your answer in the comments there, should you prefer.
April 28, 2014
Eyecandy Monday
If I was basing today's Eyecandy on my current preoccupations, she'd be up a ladder sawing bits off trees. I just couldn't find a picture for that, doubtless due to health 'n'safety considerations, so this is a picture with no point ...
Just stripes ;-)
April 27, 2014
April 25, 2014
Phenology - April
April is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain. T.S. Eliot - The Waste Land
Lilac coming into flower today, 25th AprilApril in England is the month when everything changes.
Suddenly all the soft ground vegetation and the grasses start to sprout, and the grey hawthorn hedges are green again, almost overnight:
Trees start to come cautiously into leaf - starting with elder...
And alder ...
And birch...
And the crumpled leaves of horse chestnut:
Wild cherry is in blossom:
Along with the acid-green flowers of Norway maple:
As the daffodils die off slowly, their place on the roadsides is taken by swathes of yellow dandelions, racing to do their thing before the Council ride-on mowers get them:
While in secret corners you can find cowslips:
And blue forget-me-nots:
There are spring lambs in the fields (though not round where I live), and gosling families on the river:
And itty bitty baby calves, cute as puppies:
The Romans gave this month the Latin name Aprilis, from the verb aperire, "to open," an allusion to the trees and flowers beginning to "open up". Everything is coming back to life.
And I love it :-)
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain. T.S. Eliot - The Waste Land
Lilac coming into flower today, 25th AprilApril in England is the month when everything changes.Suddenly all the soft ground vegetation and the grasses start to sprout, and the grey hawthorn hedges are green again, almost overnight:
Trees start to come cautiously into leaf - starting with elder...
And alder ...
And birch...
And the crumpled leaves of horse chestnut:
Wild cherry is in blossom:
Along with the acid-green flowers of Norway maple:
As the daffodils die off slowly, their place on the roadsides is taken by swathes of yellow dandelions, racing to do their thing before the Council ride-on mowers get them:
While in secret corners you can find cowslips:
And blue forget-me-nots:
There are spring lambs in the fields (though not round where I live), and gosling families on the river:
And itty bitty baby calves, cute as puppies:
The Romans gave this month the Latin name Aprilis, from the verb aperire, "to open," an allusion to the trees and flowers beginning to "open up". Everything is coming back to life.
And I love it :-)
April 23, 2014
Fundraiser
What is more nerve-racking than learning a new computer skill for a publisher? Learning how to video yourself and then doing your first ever promo video, that's what! Everybody hates the sound of their own voice on tape, I know!
Sweetmeats Press, a small but perfectly formed and beautifully independent erotica press based in the UK, is doing a fundraising drive in order to help with getting its books onto shelves in the United States. Donors get gifts of course: $5 will see you with three e-short stories OR a full-length e-novel from the back catalogue - which is better than you'll find on Amazon - and so on.
All support gratefully received.
Here's my video, complete with little Leonidas watching over me...
April 21, 2014
Eyecandy Monday - knickers
Time for another micro-fetish. You know what else I like as well as men in towels?
Knickers.
Knickers caught in the act of coming off.
Sorry, I should call them "panties " because otherwise my American readers won't understand.
Although "panties" sounds pretentious to Brit ears ... and "knickers" sounds silly and childish.
There is no good word for the things.
*Sighs*
The trials of being a smutwriter :-)
April 20, 2014
Because she knows some frightful fiend...
Isn't this just the coolest thing? I am chuffed to bits! Jo's daughter painted me a piece of art after hearing that I like "monsters, and the woods, and creepy things". I don't know if it shows up in the photo but it depicts a wood at night, and at the end of a blood-red path a black horned figure stands in wait for the hapless traveller, whilst overhead great green eyes stare down menacingly.
It reminds me so much of this :-)
A
And it's 3D!It's AWESOME!!!
THANK YOU!
:-D
April 18, 2014
Mine's a latte
Since it's Good Friday I thought I'd blog something spiritually uplifting and not even slightly pervy. So I give you ...
The Miraculous Lactation of Saint Bernard!
The story is that St Bernard of Clairvaux was praying before a statue of Mary and as he spoke the line "Show me you are a mother," the statue came to life and squirted milk - with impressive accuracy - onto his face. Sometimes it's said it hit him in the eyes and cured an eye infection, other times it's said it got him in the open mouth to quench his parched lips.
St Bernard was one of the big influences behind both the disastrous Second Crusade and the rise of Marianism in the medieval Catholic Church. He was a big fan of the lactating Mary, and once had a nice dream about her sticking her boob in his mouth, when he nodded off during prayer:
I am of course fully aware that, theologically speaking, Mary's breast milk represents charity and intercessory grace - nothing sexual. Just as I am totally sure that neither the painters, nor the clients who commissioned any of these expensive works of art showing a lovely young woman with her tits out, had anything in mind but the purest of motives.
So there.
I'm not going to point out that the model for this painting was the king's mistress
The Miraculous Lactation of Saint Bernard!
The story is that St Bernard of Clairvaux was praying before a statue of Mary and as he spoke the line "Show me you are a mother," the statue came to life and squirted milk - with impressive accuracy - onto his face. Sometimes it's said it hit him in the eyes and cured an eye infection, other times it's said it got him in the open mouth to quench his parched lips.
St Bernard was one of the big influences behind both the disastrous Second Crusade and the rise of Marianism in the medieval Catholic Church. He was a big fan of the lactating Mary, and once had a nice dream about her sticking her boob in his mouth, when he nodded off during prayer:
I am of course fully aware that, theologically speaking, Mary's breast milk represents charity and intercessory grace - nothing sexual. Just as I am totally sure that neither the painters, nor the clients who commissioned any of these expensive works of art showing a lovely young woman with her tits out, had anything in mind but the purest of motives.
So there.
I'm not going to point out that the model for this painting was the king's mistress
April 16, 2014
Out now - Never Say Never
New short story published this week!
Never Say Never, edited by Alison Tyler, is the follow-up to her Never Have the Same Sex Twice . It's a mixture of sex-advice and short stories designed to provide inspiration and entertainment.
Here's the blurb:
My story - the first in the book, yay! - illustrates the erotic possibilities of voyeurism and is called Wherever I Wander .
Here's the full lineup:
Chapter One: Watch This Way—Voyeurism
Wherever I Wander • Janine Ashbless
Chapter Two: X Iis for Exposure—Exhibitionism
Bring Me the Dark • Angell Brooks
Chapter Three: Slippery When Wet—Cunnilingus
Savory • Georgia E. Jones
Chapter Four: Open Wide—Fellatio
Allowed • Charlotte Stein
Chapter Five: Close Your Eyes—Blindfolds
Blind Lust • Kristina Lloyd
Chapter Six: Tied and Teased—Beginning Bondage
Silk • Teresa Noelle Roberts
Chapter Seven: Naughty, Naughty—Spanking
Beneath the Surface • Sommer Marsden
Chapter Eight: Fantasies First—Role- Play
Afternoon Strip • N. T. Morley
Chapter Nine: Back- Door Man—Anal
The Final Frontier • Justine Elyot
Chapter Ten: Bend Over, B/F—Pegging
A Round Peg in a Round Hole • Shanna Germain
Chapter Eleven: Crossing Your T’s—Cross- Dressing
Tangled Up in Blue • Sophia Valenti
Chapter Twelve: Twist Me, Taunt Me, Turn Me On—Fetishes
The Silk Road * Donna George Storey
Chapter Thirteen: More the Merrier—Ménage
Margarita Magic • Thomas S. Roche
Chapter Fourteen: Trading Spouses—Soft Swapping
Syzygy • Ashley Lister
Chapter Fifteen: Mind Your Ma’ams—Femme Domme
No Shame * Dante Davidson
Chapter Sixteen: 24/7—Living a Kinky Life
Is That Man Bothering You? • Alison Tyler
And here's how Wherever I Wander starts - yes, your second excerpt in two days - and coincidentally the story features towels too!
“Hal!”
My shocked cry brought my husband out of our tiny en-suite into our cabin, a towel wrapped about his hips. “What?” he asked.
“Phone home.” I didn't look up from our laptop screen. “Phone home now!”
“What's wrong?”
“Stacia—she's . . .”
He bounced onto the foot of the bed with me, to see what I was seeing. I was aware with some corner of my mind that he'd just emerged from the shower, and that he was still damp and scented with tea-tree body-wash. But most of my attention was on the WiFi feed running on my laptop screen.
“Oh . . .” he said.
Stacia was on the sofa—my sofa, strewn with the cushions I'd chosen—with a young man. They were kissing, passionately, and she had her blouse off to reveal a lacy bra and pillowy breasts. His hands were all over her, stroking and caressing, and although the live feed was silent, I had no difficulty hearing her mimed sighs and squeaks of pleasure in my head.
“I went online to check everything was all right back home,” I explained, aware that what I was doing might look a little like spying. “Look what she's doing! Ring her now!”
“Me?”
I cast him a hard glance. His own gaze was glued to the screen. “I can never work out your phone,” I complained, but it was an excuse and I knew it.
“And to say what?” he asked.
“To stop what she's doing!” Which was, at that moment, pulling the boy's T-shirt off over his head.
“On what grounds? That we may have failed to mention the security cameras we installed to keep an eye on the house?”
“I said No Parties While We're Away!”
“That's not a party, hon. That's one guy.”
Stacia rubbed her breasts against the boy's bare chest and bit his lip, drawing it out.
“They look like they're partying to me!”
“Well . . .” My husband shrugged. “We're paying her to be a house-sitter—not a nun.”
Once more I glanced sharply at him, wrinkling my nose. “They're doing it in our living room!”
“So you want to bill her for dry-cleaning the cushions, then?”
Never Say Never is on sale at Amazon US and coming soon at Amazon UK
Never Say Never, edited by Alison Tyler, is the follow-up to her Never Have the Same Sex Twice . It's a mixture of sex-advice and short stories designed to provide inspiration and entertainment.
Here's the blurb:
Monogamy does NOT have to equal monotony and eroticist author Alison Tyler has made it her life's mission to make sure it never is with Never Say Never! Half of a very happily married duo, Tyler's advice is that couples can build a trust level that makes experimentation truly possible and posits that uninhibited, really exciting, and highly imaginative sex happens best with lovers who just happen to be couples, too. This follow up to Tyler's bestselling Never Have the Same Sex Twice blends her wisdom, expert advice, and favorite erotic scenarios illustrating myriad sexual techniques and fantasies designed to liven up the bedroom.Now, I'm not the world's greatest crusader for monogamy, for sure, but the theme of this volume is couples having fun together and I can certainly get behind that :-)
My story - the first in the book, yay! - illustrates the erotic possibilities of voyeurism and is called Wherever I Wander .
Here's the full lineup:
Chapter One: Watch This Way—Voyeurism
Wherever I Wander • Janine Ashbless
Chapter Two: X Iis for Exposure—Exhibitionism
Bring Me the Dark • Angell Brooks
Chapter Three: Slippery When Wet—Cunnilingus
Savory • Georgia E. Jones
Chapter Four: Open Wide—Fellatio
Allowed • Charlotte Stein
Chapter Five: Close Your Eyes—Blindfolds
Blind Lust • Kristina Lloyd
Chapter Six: Tied and Teased—Beginning Bondage
Silk • Teresa Noelle Roberts
Chapter Seven: Naughty, Naughty—Spanking
Beneath the Surface • Sommer Marsden
Chapter Eight: Fantasies First—Role- Play
Afternoon Strip • N. T. Morley
Chapter Nine: Back- Door Man—Anal
The Final Frontier • Justine Elyot
Chapter Ten: Bend Over, B/F—Pegging
A Round Peg in a Round Hole • Shanna Germain
Chapter Eleven: Crossing Your T’s—Cross- Dressing
Tangled Up in Blue • Sophia Valenti
Chapter Twelve: Twist Me, Taunt Me, Turn Me On—Fetishes
The Silk Road * Donna George Storey
Chapter Thirteen: More the Merrier—Ménage
Margarita Magic • Thomas S. Roche
Chapter Fourteen: Trading Spouses—Soft Swapping
Syzygy • Ashley Lister
Chapter Fifteen: Mind Your Ma’ams—Femme Domme
No Shame * Dante Davidson
Chapter Sixteen: 24/7—Living a Kinky Life
Is That Man Bothering You? • Alison Tyler
And here's how Wherever I Wander starts - yes, your second excerpt in two days - and coincidentally the story features towels too!
“Hal!”
My shocked cry brought my husband out of our tiny en-suite into our cabin, a towel wrapped about his hips. “What?” he asked.
“Phone home.” I didn't look up from our laptop screen. “Phone home now!”
“What's wrong?”
“Stacia—she's . . .”
He bounced onto the foot of the bed with me, to see what I was seeing. I was aware with some corner of my mind that he'd just emerged from the shower, and that he was still damp and scented with tea-tree body-wash. But most of my attention was on the WiFi feed running on my laptop screen.
“Oh . . .” he said.
Stacia was on the sofa—my sofa, strewn with the cushions I'd chosen—with a young man. They were kissing, passionately, and she had her blouse off to reveal a lacy bra and pillowy breasts. His hands were all over her, stroking and caressing, and although the live feed was silent, I had no difficulty hearing her mimed sighs and squeaks of pleasure in my head.
“I went online to check everything was all right back home,” I explained, aware that what I was doing might look a little like spying. “Look what she's doing! Ring her now!”
“Me?”
I cast him a hard glance. His own gaze was glued to the screen. “I can never work out your phone,” I complained, but it was an excuse and I knew it.
“And to say what?” he asked.
“To stop what she's doing!” Which was, at that moment, pulling the boy's T-shirt off over his head.
“On what grounds? That we may have failed to mention the security cameras we installed to keep an eye on the house?”
“I said No Parties While We're Away!”
“That's not a party, hon. That's one guy.”
Stacia rubbed her breasts against the boy's bare chest and bit his lip, drawing it out.
“They look like they're partying to me!”
“Well . . .” My husband shrugged. “We're paying her to be a house-sitter—not a nun.”
Once more I glanced sharply at him, wrinkling my nose. “They're doing it in our living room!”
“So you want to bill her for dry-cleaning the cushions, then?”
Never Say Never is on sale at Amazon US and coming soon at Amazon UK
