Janine Ashbless's Blog
August 23, 2021
Blue Monday: Lustcraftian Horrors is on sale!
My story The Witch's Need appears in the Lustcraftian Horrors anthology, edited by Hydra M. Star, which is on release now! For all you fans of tentacles and unhappy endings...
Lovecraft never intended for his mythos to be overtly sexual, but the Great Old Ones are horny for human flesh and all those hybrids don’t just create themselves. Within Lustcraftian Horrors lies thirteen glimpses into the sexual adventures, dominance, and violations the Elder Gods and their kin visit upon the unsuspecting human world. Consider your triggers warned and prepare to enter the void.
The Witch's Need (excerpt) by Janine Ashbless
Agnes looked around her prison, determined not to think more on the men, though the ache in her cunny made her clench her fists. They’d left her one candle in a horn-windowed lantern; it was just enough light to make out her surroundings. The crypt was rectangular, with two raised tombs either side of an aisle to a rear apse, where the stone figure of some medieval knight lay in state on his sarcophagus. Probably these belonged to the Squire’s own forebears, but they did not interest her greatly. The dead were not her provenance. More frustratingly—and more by luck than design, or so she assumed—the close-set flagstones and walls offered her no glimpse of the raw earth she hoped to find. Earth might permit her aid; stone did not.
She sighed and sat on the corner of one of the tombs, resting her sore legs. They’d kept her standing all day—another petty cruelty, like the fact she’d been given nothing to eat—but the pressure of the stone between her legs was soothing now and she tilted against the hard surface, grinding her hips. Then she lifted her layered skirts and touched her mound, sliding her finger into the slick furrow between her newly-shaven nether lips. Her sex felt strange to her, a foreign thing. Mother Hislop, the old bitch, had stuck her fingers inside during the search for the witch-mark, and Agnes had had to stifle her groan of involuntary arousal. She’d not been able to hide the slickness of her gape though, or the spasming clench of her muscles. Mother Hislop had been triumphant in her disapproval.
Ah, if only she did possess the powers they accused her of. She would like to blast them all with the ague and the cholera. Let them shit themselves to death.
Agnes pressed her fingers to her wetness then and worked it over her pip, hoping to comfort her need. It might be her last chance, she thought, before they hanged her on Whinney Gibbet for the crows to pick at. Maybe the next fellows to enjoy her hot cunny would be the worms that feasted there, and what pleasure would she get from that? This night could be her final ride.
Then she heard footfalls on the steps outside, and voices, and the rasp of metal. They were returning. She bit her lip.
When the Witchfinder walked into the crypt followed by two of his soldiers, Agnes was bringing herself to climax, her thighs spread wide, her feet braced on the carved stone of the tomb, and her hand working frantically on her exposed gash. She locked eyes with him, gasping as she tumbled over into her ecstasy, defiant in her shamelessness.
The two soldiers, hands full of the things they carried, stared with mouths open. She liked that.
“Are you quite finished?” asked the Witchfinder coldly.
She withdrew her sticky, pungent fingers with a grin and rearranged her skirts in a parody of decorum. The last waves of her bliss washed through her, balm to her rage and her need. “For the moment.”
Buy Lustcraftian Horrors
July 13, 2021
Not Dead But Writing!
"That Is Not Dead Which Can Still Type"Hello Blog! Boy, it's a bit dusty in here ... *blows cobwebs off Blogger*
This is the BIG UPDATE POST just to let you know that Janine Ashbless survived the lockdown and is still (sorta) around. In fact ... *fanfare*
🎺 I'VE GOT A NEW SHORT STORY COMING OUT!!! 🎺
My story The Witch's Need is due to appear in Lustcraftian Horrors, edited by Hydra M. Star, which is currently up for pre-orders on Amazon, due for release in August!
Lovecraft never intended for his mythos to be overtly sexual, but the Great Old Ones are horny for human flesh and all those hybrids don’t just create themselves. Within Lustcraftian Horrors lies thirteen glimpses into the sexual adventures, dominance, and violations the Elder Gods and their kin visit upon the unsuspecting human world. Consider your triggers warned and prepare to enter the void.
I shall be posting an excerpt from my story in due course; but here's how it opens...
After the first day of her trial, they moved Agnes Pritchard to the crypt of the village church for safekeeping overnight. Since she hadn’t deigned to plead her innocence, the Witchfinder John Samuels had declared her a more-than-usually-arrogant and dangerous sorceress, and no one wanted to have her on their land overnight, not even in a guarded barn. If she had denied the charges then they would have kept her awake all night, working in teams to walk her up and down without rest, in the hope of causing her to summon her familiars and so prove her guilt. But there was no need in this case. Her contemptuous silence was as good as a confession.
* * * * * * * * * *
It is in many ways an incredibly appropriate story to introduce this roundup of my news. It also may well be the most appropriate story on which to bow out as Janine Ashbless, if that is to happen.
Those of you who have no idea what Lovecraftian fiction is might struggle with the rest of this blogpost! 😋 Any description of what I've been doing for the last two years is going to reference him and his Cthulhu Mythos. MY WRITING DREAMS HAVE ALL COME TRUE so please forgive my allcaps and blog silence!
If you'd asked me at any time in the last three decades what I would most like to be known for writing, it wouldn't be for erotica. I would have said "I want to write Call of Cthulhu for Chaosium."
And that's what I'm doing right now - which is why I've put the erotica and even the horror fiction on the back-burner. Chaosium Inc. is a major roleplaying games company, and I've been working freelance for them. First I contributed to the forthcoming Rivers of London RPG. And then I was handed the humungous task of reworking Cthulhu by Gaslight, their Victorian setting for the Call of Cthulhu game, into a new and improved edition. I've had some experience with running Victorian horror LARP, but this is on another level altogether, so basically I've been researching and writing non-fiction for the last year. The first Gaslight book has been turned in and I'm hard at work on the second. I am wonderfully, stupidly, happy, and also a bit cross-eyed from hyper-focus.
This is my life nowI've not been blogging much because this blog belongs to Janine Ashbless, erotica writer - and though there is some overlap in readership with my horror and gaming interests (and there are many posts to prove it), it would be a distinct and confusing change of direction to start talking tentacles all the time.
Will I be writing more smut in future? Who can say? The current puritanical publishing atmosphere does not make it rewarding or inspiring. Sinful Press (very much missed) is only one of the many presses, small and large, to have closed their doors recently, and my optimism has run low. It is probably a lot easier to self-publish than to go through endless cycles of submitting stories, waiting months (sometimes years) for publication, and crossing fingers for payment - just to see the anthology/press pulled from the shelves. I'm re-releasing as much of my own stuff in e-format as possible, but it will only take one censorious move from Amazon to destroy decades of work.
I'm not planning for the future. I'm enjoying what I'm writing NOW. And Now is awesome 💝💝💝
My Janine Ashbless Facebook Page is still ticking over.
And I am active on Facebook under my Keris McDonald name
December 24, 2020
Hairy Christmas!
Angelic blessings! This year a dear friend sent me the best Christmas tree ornament EVER. It's supposed to be a fluffy angel, she swears.
I think it looks like a hairy vulva and that's how it's always going to be in my mind.
November 2, 2020
Blue Monday: Yan, Tan Tethera, Methera
Amazon US :: Amazon UK
To celebrate the e-publication of In Medias Res, a collection of no-holds-barred erotic stories (about 10K each) told in the second person, here's an excerpt from my story Yan, Tan, Tethera Methera. And in case you are wondering what the hell that title means, it's a very old way of counting sheep. It exists - or existed - in many dialect variations across Northern England, but the rhyme I've used goes...
Yan, Tan, Tethera, Methera, Pip,
Sethera, Lethera, Hovera, Dovera, Dick.
This is quite a lot of Dick in my story as it is all about trolls who keep humans as sex-pets. And trolls are not small.
... And not vegetarian.
This story is pretty damn dark. We're definitely in erotic horror territory. When a human male comes into Methera's life and challenges all her old assumptions, things get very dicey. I wanted to write about the terrible dangers of love, as well as about good old-fashioned monster-fucking
November 1, 2020
Yan, Tan, Tethera, Methera: new story out now!
It's been a long wait but I'VE GOT A NEW EROTIC STORY ON SALE! Yippee!!
August 20, 2020
Guest post: Ashley Lister on Blackstone Towers
First, I’d like to thank Janine for allowing me to bring my blog tour here today. This is day seven of the blog tour and I’m very excited because I’ve written a really fun horror novel and I want to tell you a little bit about it.
(I’ll be honest and admit I’m introducing myself in the same way each day, in case these words encounter someone who doesn’t know me or who hasn’t been following the blog tour. If you’ve already read my introduction on one of the other blogs, or if you simply don’t care who I am or what I’ve got to say, skip to the bit under the picture of the book cover).
By way of introduction, I should begin by saying my name is Ashley Lister; I write horror fiction and some of the crudest poetry known to mankind; and I’m here talking about a horror novel I’ve written which will be published on August 22nd. It’s called Blackstone Towers and this is what the story is about:
The talismans of the magi control seven realms of the mortal world. One can grant the bearer immortality; another gives its owner unfathomable wealth; a third gives the holder unerring foresight. There is a talisman to control reality, success, the deliberate and the accidental, and a talisman that governs the balance between love and hate. The planets are now aligning, and one worldly resident of Blackstone Towers knows the talismans urgently need collecting and destroying before they fall into the wrong hands. The only problem is establishing whose hands are the wrong ones.
This is a novel that includes zombies, ghosts, daemons and other generally scary creatures. The first question people ask when you write a novel that includes such features is, “Do you believe in ghosts?”Naturally, this shouldn’t be the first question anyone asks me. I think the first question should be, “That sounds awesome! Where can I buy a copy? And can I look at your back catalogue too?”
However, we don’t live in my ideal world so I’ll answer the popular question first: do I believe in ghosts?
The honest answer is: what time is it?
I’m writing this in daylight. I’ve got a portly dog on my lap and the soundtrack for Guardians of the Galaxy is playing in the background. Of course I know there’s no such thing as ghosts or the supernatural. If something does unexpectedly make a noise, the chances are that it’s the farty little dog on my lap.
However, tonight, I’d have a different response. I don’t believe in ghosts. But I also make sure I turn on every light in the house if I’m going for a late night pee. I used to work for a funeral director (I mentioned this earlier in the week) and I’m only just beginning to realise it probably wasn’t the best occupation for someone with my susceptible disposition. One night, and this was two in the morning night, I’d been called to drive the funeral director’s ambulance to a rural farmhouse.
It was very sad, as all deaths are. A relatively young man had passed away from cancer.
The funeral director had met me at the farmhouse and he helped me get the body into the back of the vehicle. And then I was expected to drive back through unlit and unfamiliar country roads, alone save for the dead body in the back of the ambulance.
I saw things on that journey home that could only have come from my imagination. As the promise of dawn crept toward the horizon, I saw the edges of the landscape shift as though it was a behemoth, uncurling and preparing to devour the tiny mortals that scurried over the earth.
I definitely didn’t hear anything in the back of the ambulance, scratching at the door that separated me and my travelling companion. I didn’t hear any strange sounds like that and I don’t still hear echoes of those sounds when I’m alone at home in the dark.
All of which is my way of building to my question for today: Do you believe in ghosts? And, if so, why? Answer below, if that’s easiest for you. I’ll be checking back throughout the day. Answer on Twitter if you prefer, using the hashtag #BlackstoneTowers. If you don’t use Twitter, and don’t like the comments box, please feel free to email me at me@ashleylister.co.uk. I’ll be collecting all the answers and, on the day of publication, I’ll chose my favourite response and send one lucky winner a free copy of one of my novels.
This is day 7 of a 9 day blog tour and, each day up to the launch, I’ll be on a different blog, as detailed below. And, each day, I’ll be asking a different question. Please feel free to follow me, answer as many questions as you like, and if you’ve got any questions about the book or anything else, I’ll be happy to answer.
Also, if you fancy coming to the online launch, where I’ll be reading from Blackstone Towers and sharing some of my ribald poetry, drop me an email and I’ll send you an invite.
Thank you again to Janine Ashbless and to all you readers. I look forward to hearing what you’d do with the gift of foresight. And, if you want to pre-order a copy of Blackstone Towers, this link should take you through to the Amazon page
August 11, 2020
WAP
This truly magnificent video and very catchy track has been quite controversial recently, it appears. Politicians have been parading their shocked tears. Because it's okay for male rappers to go on about how horny they are feel, but if women do it they are a threat to civilisation. You can read all about it here if you like.
The version above, by the way, is the censored one. Full and filthy lyrics here:
And if you think any of this is new, Whores of Yore has an EPIC Twitter thread about blues lyrics by women in the 1920s and 30s that will make your jaw drop and your hair curl!
"I got nipples on my titties big as the end of my thumb
I got somethin' 'tween my legs 'll make a dead man come.
....
Say I fucked all night, and all the night before baby,
And I feel just like I wanna, fuck some more”.
All power to those wonderful women who fiercely own their sexual desire!
June 18, 2020
For the Shame of It
This is so great! At a time when I'm struggling to even remember the joy of writing fiction, LN Bey shoots me broadside with a huge post about writing Plague Porn, Consent and Dub-con ... which happens to include an enthusiastic (and very detailed) review of
"Relentlessly filthy" is how LN describes it! Also "It’s a tricky, tricky thing to pull off—and many fans of more cozy erotica will probably not approve. Let them. I fully understand that this novel might not be everyone’s proverbial cuppa."
Here's the link to
"Named & Shamed is not about a viral invasion of Britain and Europe, with its accompanying medieval cultural trimmings. It portrays an invasion by those horrific legends and myths themselves. In this world created by Ashbless, all the once-supposed causes of human suffering—the witches, fairies, and ogres of the Middle Ages—have come back, from the netherworld, from whatever dimension they’ve been in, and they are causing societal havoc. People are self-isolating, afraid to leave their houses—and let me tell you, they are no kinder than a mindless virus. They just have a far more wicked sense of humor. Named & Shamed is not only one of the most outright filthiest erotic novels I’ve ever read (possibly the filthiest—that’s a compliment, btw), it is primarily about how those old stories linger, even into our modern age—there’s something in our collective psyches that has never quite let go."
Thank you LN - I am all wibbly with delight!
May 28, 2020
For your shelf-ish desires
I thought I'd pop in with some recommendations for scurrilous books I've been reading under lockdown. First, a couple of new ones:
A Curious History of Sex is by Dr Kate Lister of Whores of Yore fame and it's a publication I backed on Kickstarter. Sex and Sexuality in Victorian Britain is by our international goth correspondent Violet Fenn and has just been released this last week. Both are easy-reading non-fiction, written with wit and a real fondness for their subject matter, and are to be recommended for any historian's bookshelf. Buy them and annoy your friends by reading out Interesting But Dirty Facts
