Marcia Fine's Blog, page 8

Hotspot for Scams and Neanderthal Genes

How Smart Are You?

My father's insurance and savings left my mother with enough resources to live a modest, independent lifestyle so you can imagine my surprise when I got this call:

"Jean, I've decided to get a job."

"What? Why?"

"I'm bored with the people at my complex who only want to get their hair tinted blue and make ceramic angels so I'm going to work."

"But, Mom,  you don't have to do that. You can live comfortably. If you need something special, Maury and I can always help you out." (As w...

Dirty Air, Eco-Twits and My Mother Wants to Be on a Reality Show

Life Imitates Art

The American Lung Association says Phoenix (which includes Scottsdale, one of the trendiest cities around) is at the top of the list for U.S. cities with the worst dust pollution. Now I already know this because my mother and daughter remind me me of it daily. "Jean, can't you do something about the air quality? I can hardly breathe," Gasp, gasp. "See what a hard time I'm having?" Choke, choke. "Why did you move me here if you knew the air was so dirty?: Cough with phlegm...

Scottsdale Cupcakes with Botox and Extreme Liposuction

Only in Scottsdale

I am always amazed at the vanity in one of America's "Most Liveable Cities." I cannot make this up! I saw that one of my favorite authors who recently won a First Prize award for her satire about Scottsdale was having a book signing…at a cupcake store. Now I know it must be tough to sell books but a cupcake store? Yes, in Europe businesses do combine resources so you might stumble into a bistro/clothing/perfume emporium but books and cupcakes? Okay. Imagine my surprise when ...

More to Stress About–My Dog Has Allergies and Seniors Get STD

Still Stressed in Scottsdale

Yes, it's a beautiful Spring in our piece of paradise and it is still Humor Month; however, I am filled with anxiety and stress. It has nothing to do with Maury dropping a pen on my peach silk shantung pillows. That's only "stuff." Or the fact that my son, Michael, de-friended me on Facebook because I make embarrassing comments. Or that all the silliness I had from the Erma Bombeck Humor Conference and meeting that sharp Tracy Beckerman who writes "Lost in...

Multitaskers Are Losing Ground and a Major Boobquake

I Am Falling Behind

It's true that I am always multi-tasking so I can accomplish the most projects in the least amount of time. I answer emails while I'm talking on the phone, especially to my mother, who, although wonderful, has a tendency to repeat herself. "Jean, did I mention there's a Senior Pageant here at Friendly Arms and I want to enter. I need new pumps that don't swell my feet." I do it when I'm talking to the kids, texting Maury about dinner and unloading the dishwasher. Or...

Hair Gives Us Stress

Frayed Nerves about Hair

Now I've got a lot of curly wild hair on my head that I spend a minimal amount of time trying to tame, much to my mother's chagrin. "Jean, if I had a such a full head of hair I'd have a style." Or, ""With all that volume it would make sense to use some of the new products I see on TV and calm it down." My hair is low priority on my lists every day as long as it's still there.

I had a recent episode where I was so stressed my hair started to fall out. When I showed...

Was Erma Funny?

Oh, yes she was!

So funny in fact that I'm exhausted from laughing. Most of you know I went to the Erma Bombeck Humor Conference in Dayton Ohio(home of the Wright brothers!) because I'm an aspiring writer. There were three hundred writers, humorists, stand-up comedians and other assorted characters who all made me laugh. But I can't let myself get into that yet. Have to unpack, digest, call my mother (who will clearly make me feel guilty for leaving), check on the kids,  let Amber lick my...

Humor Relieves Stress and Environmental Anxiety

What's Funny about Sweat?

It's National Humor month. That means no one can get mad at me for making fun of them including Maury and my friends. Although I could tell Glee was a bit miffed when I teased her about her latest "procedure." Now I'm all for any enhancements women want to do to make themselves look or feel better. Goodness knows I could use some improving myself. But botox in your armpits? So you don't sweat ever?

Glee said, "That way when I'm with Rob I always look cool and...

It's Still Humor Month and I'm Not Laughing

What Made Erma Bombeck Funny?

Erma Bombeck was a journalist who took everyday situations about her family and made them funny. She was a suburban stand-up who wrote fifteen books and published a column read by thirty million readers and published in nine hundred papers. I cannot make up how many times I trip over Maury's sandals and pick up his socks. I do not think that's funny so I marvel how Erma stayed so good-humored about the little things in life. Like this week when Lara called...

Family Vacations and Screaming Frogs

A Manatee Ate My Phone

Being with family is wonderful and excruitiating. Maury and I do our best to entertain the grandkids so their parents get a brief break from sticky fingers and an occasional whine. Or a sock in the back. After all these eons you'd think some clever little cutie pie would have come up with something better than, "He touched me," and "She touched me first."

I favor educational forays so when I saw the Science Museum in Fort Lauderdale was open, we gave the parents an...