D.L. Warner's Blog: The Perilous and Profane, page 9

Boules, Stripper Shoes and Mad Men

This past week has been a mixed bag of highs and lows. I find that I'm struggling with a bunch of things that are all messing with my motivation. Currently, my mobility has been severely curtailed by a twisted knee. On any given day my joints are a source of almost constant pain or stiffness. This is far worse. I can't even sit in a computer chair (I'm losing another week of editing videos I'm sure). I haven't been restricted to the sofa in nearly two years. Since one of the fears I wrestle with is the one that I won't be as active as I once was, this is a setback I really don't need. I'm supposed to be at Anime Expo this weekend, and I have a shoot next week. Arrgh! So, I called Craig. He is a licensed paramedic as well as my nemesis. Somehow, the discussion drifted to growing corn. That can be very funny apparently. At least, I found it hilarious. And the chat made me feel better for a while. Beyond that, there are ice packs and analgesics and the freakin' sofa for the next day or two.
I had some ups and downs with baking as well. I had quite the tussle with the old piping bag in making macarons. They tasted good, but there were not exactly ready for a patisserie. I called them rustic. Afterward, I was looking at some other recipes and concluded that the easy one I was using was a bit too easy. The steps would have made for a much prettier products. The next time I attempt them, I will use the more complex recipe. I even had problems with Madeleines, and I've made many a successful batch of those. I was just off last week, baking wise. But then I decided to try the bread experiment once again. I thought the dough looked much better than my first batch. And lookee there, I made a boule! It had a hollow thump and a crust that was crunchy when gently pressed. And it tasted as good as it looked! We ate half of the loaf with dinner. Well, Jon ate dinner. I mostly ate the bread and a couple of meatballs. It was good that the baking ended on an up note. It's never good for the main outlet for stress to become a source of frustration. I had other plans for cooking lots of seasonal veggies this week, but the knee has but the kibash on that. I'll only be standing in front of the stove long enough to heat things.
I'm not really complaining. All things considered, things aren't terrible. I'm not the same as I was before I fell ill, but at least I'm not ill. Of course, everything that goes wrong makes me paranoid about being ill again. No worries though. I've become well skilled at managing paranoia. I'll just send some panicked emails to my support system. They'll calm me down, because they have had similar experiences. Easy peasy. Yes, I have to go through this process each time. It's a thing with me. UPDATE! I have sent various panicked emails and phone calls since writing this paragraph. My knee is feeling only marginally better, but I feel much more relaxed about it all now.
In These Shoes...
...I don't think so. (My favorite song about high heels).  When I was hobbling around the mall on Monday, I must confess that I was really pleased to see some very lovely clothes for this season. There are some lines of clothes that have very attractive sundresses and skirts. Even the shorts remind me strongly of the fashion sense from the 1950s when women had figures and sexy didn't mean slutty. I think Mad Men http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mad_Men is responsible for that (I've never seen the show myself. It reminds me too much of the Tate Advertising Agency on Bewitched, but with no magic or Samantha Stephens http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samantha_Stephens). This is a good thing. I usually find myself ranting angrily at fashion trends that either make no sense or don't look right on any female that isn't a toddler (I'm looking at you, empire waist dresses). And I still don't like pork pie hats. 
But amidst these lovely fashions is a big and perplexing irritant to me. Somehow, stripper's shoes have become high fashion. I'm even seeing serious female journalists wearing these five or six inch numbers. What's the harm, you might ask. They're just shoes after all. I give you my Hubs as Exhibit A. He is a thoroughly modern man who believes that women can do whatever jobs they set their minds to. His Momma raised him right. However, when he sees those shoes on a woman, his reaction every time is Hhheeeyyy now, what is she into? Or Why is she interviewing that general in FM shoes? Before you think I am speaking in hyperbole, consider the shoes to the right. I found those on a site called Upscale Stripper http://upscalestripper.com. I found a shoe with the same silhouette and heel height at the very respectable zappos.com. Check out this link: http://www.zappos.com/mia-limited-edition-vixen-white-patent. I find it distressing that otherwise serious women are undermining their authority for the sake of fashion. In some ways, this trend is more distressing than the fad of having 'juicy' written on the seat of girl's and women's short shorts. Wake up ladies! If you won't consider your dignity, consider your health. Podiatrists are offering operations to to make walking in those shoes bearable. They are called 'toe jobs' http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/26/plastic-surgery-foot-feet-high-heels_n_1454964.html.After all, they were only meant to be worn for the length of a song or while on one's back shooting scenes for porn. They weren't built for an 8 hour day in an office.
UpdatesI'll post film and book updates in my other blogs this week. I'll make an announcement here when they are uploaded. One crazy thing though. My books have been really selling this month. I'm really happy, but have no idea why. I'm not even advertising. Maybe all of this blogging is paying off.
Stay tuned

On Tiny Gardens, Sterilizing and Socializing

I have a tiny tomato on my lonely tomato plant. (It's on the lower right). That was such a relief, because I was really concerned that I needed bees to pollinate the flowers. Unlike Jon, the notion of letting bees into the apartment just did not appeal to me. That sure did tickle my father though. He's quite the urban gardener. He got quite the chuckle out of that proposal. He explained that tomatoes are self pollinating somehow. They've been developed that way, because bees are so scarce anymore. I'm fairly pleased at how strong that plant is especially compared to the last time I tried to grow something. I may get a mini herb garden to keep it company. I know it sounds weird, but it just seems like the plant is lonely all by itself. UPDATE! It's been days since I started this blog. I now have a little thyme plant to keep the tomato plant company, and supply me with thyme. That's my favorite herb.
I've been having trouble keeping up with all the blogs I need to post over weekends. I'm considering moving this blog to mid-week when I don't have a bottleneck. I'll be having some really busy weekends in the next few weeks, so that may be prudent.
Craig as My Nemesis?
Jon thinks I am Craig's nemesis. I do drive him crazy, it seems, by putting him in my fiction (he's even made an appearance in my fanfiction) and writing about him in the blog. He's not really angry. He's just puzzled that anyone finds him interesting. I know a lot of people who are interesting in many strange ways, but I know few who are as interesting and consistently funny as Craig. He worries that people will be disappointed upon meeting him. Highly unlikely. I can count on one hand the people that can make me laugh as hard as he does no matter what my mood is or how badly I feel. Today, I was feeling really down (tired of being tired, really tired of all the pain). I swear that he senses this, because he always seems to call when I am at my mopiest. One call was to inform me that Ray Liotta was back in his orbit. I looked him up to see if he was between shoots or really stalking Craig. It seems to be the former. The call that really cracked me up today was his review of John Carter. It's not the worst review I've heard from Craig. That honor goes to Pathfinder . If Jon ever gets a notion to tune in on that film, I am to leap across the TV screen in slow motion screaming NOOOOOO to block the signal from the remote. I can't repeat the other things he said. The John Carter review was more colorful and far less angry. He likened it to his keen disappointment with Star Wars Episode 1 but with a herd of Jar Jar Binks . And he said the leads were pretty but ill suited for dialog beyond 'I love you, cardboard character (his words).' 'If I wrote one of those review blog things, I'd give it four F#$%K Nos and recommend people put their time to better use like auto-erotic asphyxiation.' See, he can't help being interesting. So, I accept being his nemesis. He's too much of a gentlemen to start a war with me. He'll just try to terrorize Jon.
Social Butterfly
Aside from the sojourns that Marie and I have taken to the Culver Hotel after shopping at the Culver City Farmer's Market, I had two other social engagements. That was a lot before I fell ill. Since then, it's unheard of. I think I held up fairly well. I even managed to put makeup on AND do my hair. Have I mentioned that some of the most helpful makeup tips I've found online has been from transvestites and transgenders? Who better to instruct on making skin look flawless? I still can't get behind false eyelashes. They just make me giggle.
At any rate, the first of the social engagements was an impromptu celebration of Gabriel Koerner's 30thbirthday. It happened that he really liked a place that was five minutes from our place, and it was very reasonably priced. Jon said that if I were to create a restaurant in my fiction, it would be exactly like Sara the Wine Bar http://www.sarathewinebar.com/(Things are very glamorous in the video. Something like that was going on in a private room, but the main restaurant was really down to earth and homey). When I approached the entrance, there was a handsome, older gent dancing with an adorable, chubby cheeked baby who was grinning and laughing. Inside, there were two generations of extended family attentively waiting on customers. Though I was not a regular, I was welcomed and felt very comfortable alone waiting for Jon, Gabriel and his friends to show up. Of course, with Gabriel http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Gabriel_Koerner involved, there is a Trek connection to the joint. Cirroq Lofton http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Cirroc_Loftonis best known as Jake Sisko from Deep Space 9. He married a talented chef from Tuscany. The result is a place with amazing, handcrafted food and a warm, friendly atmosphere that made me feel at home. Our first birthday party with Gabriel was when he was 15 and prone to swing from trees. When I first met him during my interview for Trekkies, I thought 'I seem to have found Jon's son.' Our relationship with him reminds me of family – highly entertaining at times. He's packed a lot of hard living in 15 years. I'm glad to see that he's mellowed though he remains quite the charming dinner companion. A fine time was had by all.
The second outing will have to wait for another day. I have more to cover, and my inbox is not emptying itself!
Jammin'
I suppose it was inevitable that all of this fresh produce would leave to making Jam. I think that was only part of my interest in the practice. Most of it came from the interest in making bread from scratch. It seemed silly to me to spend time allowing the dough to ferment slowly for enhanced flavor only to slather on some store bought jam that has sugar or high fructose corn syrup as a first ingredient. I'm also planning on making maracons http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macaronfrom scratch. Regular jam wouldn't do. And if I am considering Jam that in the ten buck range, I'd just as soon make my own. I'm not courageous enough to trust that my canning will hold up for months. I'm happy with smaller yields (2 jars per type) that will last in the fridge for a couple of weeks. Once I'm better at it, I'll give jars as gifts. The process isn't difficult, but it is exacting if one wants to avoid dangerous canned goods. I think the biggest challenge for me is that once you begin the sterilizing process, you have to be ready to fill the jars with the hot mixtures. As I've often said, our apartment is small, and the kitchen is miniscule. Making the various jams used every bit of available space and most of my pots and pans. Luckily, the recipes can be re-heated to boiling later on or even the next day (I just don't add the pectin until right before I'm ready to put everything in the jars). I can rest while Jon cleans up the kitchen. Love that Kitchen Aide! Then, I can start the sterile cleaning of the stove and the sink. I even did the floor. I think I was thinking of an operating room. The instructions were adamant about everything touching the jars and lids be extremely clean. It was a mite scary transferring the newly cleaned and rinsed glasses in the hot water pot with the transferring grabber gizmo. I had to make sure that water was filled to the top without falling over. But what was really terrifying was grabbing the sterilized jars, pouring out the hot water and gently setting it on a tray. My long time readers may recall, that I am quite a klutz at times. And I have had incidents with scalding water. Luckily, Everything went well this time. And the jams turned out nicely. The apricot isn't quite as good as the stuff I had in the south of France, but it was tasty with very little sugar. I'm hoping the process will get easier with each attempt.
UpdatesI have a web series update on http://demonspawntales.blogspot.com/. I have a very pointed yet literary rant on trolls who write bad reviews without reading the book here http://sybpressyaoi.com. There are no new book or film updates. I have a pile of stuff I'm slogging through in my inbox, but nothing I'm free to report.
Stay tuned.

On Flame Wars, The Forever War and Ai No Kusabi

I was going to post the newest Cook Like a Uke video http://www.youtube.com/user/DraggonTV... and blog, but I am still having trouble with our PC and the editing program. Meanwhile, I have something stuck in my crawl that I had to address. The video will be up this week.

I don't mind people reading my work and not liking it as much as I believe they should. That is the nature of the beast when a writer publishes. What I don't like is when a reader makes snap judgments or serious allegations based on the cover of Ensnared Volume One or the synopsis. And I do know for certain that the most vitriolic of these reviews were written by people who had not purchased nor read the book. The first one appeared on Amazon within an hour of the book going live. I had issued no advanced copies. None. There were no sales reported within that hour. I happened to be online when the review went up. Even if there were sales, Volume One of Ensnared is nearly 250 pages. No one could read it well enough to write a credible review in less than an hour. This is infuriating after all the time and effort I put into that book to have it dismissed as plagiarism without being read. Sure, I should let it go. Why open the kettle of fish and risk further ridicule? Because it's unfair and just plain wrong and I'm tired of acquiescing to trolls. So, belly up and read on. I challenge readers here to read both volumes of Ensnared after reading this blog and see for yourselves that I am no plagiarist If you don't like the books, so be it. But I want it known that those works sprung from my own twisted brain.

Ai No Kusabi

Like most yaoi fans, I have read Ai No Kusabi (ANK) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ai_no_Ku... and I've seen the first OVA. Unlike most yaoi fans, I came away very disturbed by both versions of the title. Because of that, I did not watch the re-do of the OVA. I found the books to be unrelenting in brutality and horrors of all kinds. I kept reading hoping that the payoff would be worth the pain and degradation that Riki endured at the hands of his Master, Iason. There was none. By the time Iasons acts in a way that is completely unselfish, it is far too late. I can't even call what happened at the end an act of love on Riki's part. He had been so thoroughly conditioned through constant physical and emotional torture to remain at Iason's side, I can't really say he had a free will. The only good that came out of that end is that Riki couldn't be hurt anymore by his Master or his so-called friend, Guy. I know I'll get hate mail, but I was terribly sad and quite angry after my Ai No Kusabi experience. This reaction is very consistent if you have read the other blogs here about Non-consensual relationships and correct portrayals of D/s couples. I am saying nothing new here.

The Forever War

But what to do about this ill feeling? How do I shake the images of that horrific relationship from my mind? I could write fanfiction and revise the relationship and the ending. I read quite a bit of ANK fic that did just that. I also read a lot that went a lot farther than the author with the torture and torment. No comment. I certainly am not adverse to writing fanfiction (see http://novad.org). I have won awards and been in a documentary (Trekkies) because of my fanfiction. I've even published my fanfiction (This was legal, because the books are considered parody and thus do not infringe on copyright. See, I do know about these laws). But a fanfiction arc would take up a lot of time and effort for a work that would only be read by ANK fans. And it would cause a flame war that wouldn't get anyone anywhere in the end. I wanted to reach a wider audience and I wanted to spread my gospel of consensual D/s. There is a tradition in literature of one author writing a literary answer to another author's book. Technically, Earnest Hemingway's first novel was The Torrents of Spring http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Torr... . It was a literary answer to Sherwood Anderson's Dark Laughter. I highly recommend The Torrents of Spring. It's a hoot. In scifi, the most famous literary answer to an author's book was Joe Haldeman's The Forever War http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fore.... This was a response to Robert Heinlein's Starship Troopers.

I decided to write a book that was an critical response to ANK. Beyond a similarity in appearance in some cases (Andreas is taller and more beautiful than Riki with green-gold eyes), the characters are not the same. Darius does look at Andreas in terms of owning him body, mind and will, but he wants Andreas to willingly submit to that ownership. He is also confident that he can persuade without force of any kind. Andreas is, in fact, the one who first approaches Darius and provokes him publicly because of a strong attraction. Andreas is also not at all what he appears to be (I don't want to spoil twists for new readers). Beyond this couple, I built a mythos for a society based on a cast system that makes more sense to me. I have a history for that planetary system that reaches back thousands of years and is not controlled by a petulant computer. There were societies before the one that Darius and Andreas exist in. Each one was destroyed because of hedonistic excesses that suppressed and brutalized most of its population. The current society is about to make a similar mistake to those past. Darius is just beginning to understand where the fatal errors were made by those doomed societies at the end of Volume Two. Whether or not he can prevent another apocalypse is the question for the next books (some of my readers want more of Darius and Andreas). Ensnared Volumes One and Two is about a D/s relationship that evolves into an intense love that puts both men at risk. There is D/s, but there is not multiple rape, forced oral copulation, whippings or castrations. There is intrigue and suspense and a lot of humor. It is a completely different reading experience to ANK.

Readers interested in reading the material can find a long chapters from each volume at http://sybpressyaoi.com under Hot Links. Beyond that, readers can read 20% of each title for free at https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi.... The titles are toward the bottom of the page.

If you've read this far, thank you for indulging this little fit. I really appreciate your patience and indulgence. Now, back to talking about smut!

Mini Blog on Blog Delay

There will be a delay of blog to late tonight or early tomorrow due to the obligations to write the other blogs supproting my various projects (books, manga and web series) and the sudden rise in social engagements. I've had two -- count 'em -- two this week! Though I am finally managing to get make-up on without leaving the apartment a shambles, I can't seem to juggle a social life with my work obligations. Wow, am I out of practice. I used to go to Atlantic City, dance all night, go back to Philly AND work a whole shift without breaking a sweat. But then, Disco was all the rage then. A bit of time has passed.  I will share the social engagements in the upcoming blog. One is wrought with geekiness of a Trek nature.

The other highlights will cover my lone tomato plant and unleashing bees in our apartment, jams and how they can destroy the order in a kitchen, Craig and how I became his nemesis and other hilarity and mayhem.

You can catch my other blogs at: http://www.sybpressromantica.com/ and http://demonspawntales.blogspot.com/. The Manga blog will also be up later. I share the link when it goes live.

As for the rest,

Stay Tuned!

Writing and Publishing -- The Perilous and Profane

Before I begin, I must warn my gentle readers in the strongest of terms that while this blog is about my current writing endeavors, the language and content are very, very naughty. It is very likely not everyone's cup of tea. There are unseemly things done with bud vases and other things too raucous for delicate sensibilities. I'm looking at you, Maw-in-law! Though a bit of that salty language is your son's. Onward then!It has been very correctly pointed out to me that there is a great deal going on in my life as a writer and editor that is not reaching this blog. I blame the nature of social media branding. I have to have blogs that are aimed at particular audiences who read my work, so they can easily find it in searches. However, a lot has been going on lately, and since this began as a blog about my writing, it's only right that I bring everyone up to speed.The Return of Sybaritic PressThings have been fairly quiet on the publishing front save for works by Marie Lecrivain and me. That is changing in a very big way with our first anthology of creative non-fiction. It is called Alternate Lanes, a compilation of works about modes of transportation in Los Angeles that don't involve automobiles. From walking to cycling, buses and trains, the writers talk about their experiences warts and all in poems and essays and photographs. Mine humble contribution is called Crosstown Express. It details the wild dichotomy of riders and scenery on the two bus lines I take to the hospital a few times a month. I have not seen as many swings between affluence and poverty nor as many types of citizens since riding the route 23 trolly line in . That route has been documented by Urban studies researchers and sociologists. There is even a YouTube video that lovingly shows the line. Marie has a wonderful piece on the strange adventures and perils of walking in LA. Yes, people, there is quite a lot of walking in LA. We're getting some serious buzz about the book, and there isn't even a galley. We're also going to do book fairs once again this year though I'm not sure there will be any drunken parrots in the booth. It's a long story.My Debut in a New E-Zine Last week, I made my short story debut in a Full Metal Orgasm or FMO, a cyber sexpunk e-zine. The editor takes a deliberately provocative title to make sure there is no doubt that the content is unflinchingly adult in nature. That not only attracts the desired readership, it should warn away those who would be offended by the material. Being the contrary soul that I am, my contribution is not like the others. The Companion is about a dystopian society where someone can be arrested for stealing food and get a decades long sentence in a hell-hole of a prison or sold to a farmer on a colony as a full service slave (yes, service extends to the bedroom). It sounds like it should fit with the no holds barred, brutal sexuality of the rest of the amazing works in this collection. I certain started to write it that way. Somehow, it became this delicate, sensual character study with a very sweet ending. I was really pleased with it and knew it would find a home somewhere in my other works, but the editor very kindly bought the work anyway. It's become a point of controversy with the zine, but that's what I do. I hope my fans who are kind enough to buy it will read the rest. Despite protestations to the contrary, the rest of the stories are very smart and are often saying more that they seem. Reading the entire zine will be like taking an excursion into dark and fascinating places. It's well worth the trip.You can buy it from the website HERE or on Amazon for Kindle HERE.The Perils of Localizing Yaoi Manga for DMG I work as an Editor for the DigitalManga Guild(DMG). We work in teams called localizers (they make the material readable for a local audience). Each team consists of a translator, an editor and a letterer. My primary job as editor is to take the raw English translations into more colloquial English. The casual way people talk in the US. That sometimes means translating Japanese pop culture references into the US equivalent. I pass the edited script to the letterer who replaces the Japanese dialog with the new dialog. The whole team is responsible for QC on the finished pages. Finally, I also write the synopsis that will appear on the various websites where the manga will be sold. We're typically given 90 days to finish a 200 page book. We've finished two thus far. We're just finishing volume one of a four part series that we will be working on through the summer. The second one, Wild Boyfriend, just turned up on the company website (see photo above). This means it will be published soon. Working on the localizing team has been an education I really didn't expect. I wrote a blog about one aspect of it on our official site. DMG tweeted it to all of its followers.Without further ado: My localizing team mates and I were lulled by the sweet, funny romance of Again Tomorrow. While there were some epic sex scenes in every chapter of Nabako Kamo’s manga, there were a lot of other things going on as well. There were intrigues at the office or at various schools or, in one case, on a crowded subway. If there were eyes that were too young and tender for yaoi, it was easy to move to a benign location in Again Tomorrow. Curious little ones would likely find a panel with two salarymen working in a cubicle very dull and move on. Don’t get me wrong. Again Tomorrowis a white hot, sexy manga. However, the mangaka likes to build the tension or ratchet up the jeopardy for each of the couples before the pages and pages of heated coupling. Thus, the localizer who is also a parent has ‘safe’ pages on which to click when the children wander too close.

This is not the case with the current manga Heaven’s Blade is localizing. Sakira’s Wild Boyfriend covers many more couples who come together in a swift and explosive fashion. The safe pages are far fewer in number and really hard to click on when in a panic. I’m lucky as I only have the Hubs peering over my shoulder periodically. All I have to put up with are comments like:

‘You can’t tit f***k a guy!’
‘He put a bud vase with a flower in there!’
‘Who keeps that many sex toys at work?’ (That one gave me pause.)
‘He just happened to be carrying roofies to school.’
‘Sweat is NOT the same as lube!!’

The comments are a bit distracting, but  could never derail me. I have been thrown into fits of giggles – mainly at my Hubs’ consternation, but I always manage to find focus after a while. My team members, however, have a stickier problem. They have young ones with curious eyes. Fortunately, they are none too stealthy. My team mates have to use cat-like reflexes to switch to a different screen and avert disaster. Of course, the little darlings who never seem to pay attention to their parents before, notice when their parents move so abruptly. Thus, they hang around hoping for a glimpse of what was so interesting. To combat that strategy, my team mates have taken to doing their part of localizing when their little ones are fast asleep. They have been a lot punchier during Skype or email exchanges with this manga. I admire them for soldiering on with their fatigue fuzzy brains through their regular workloads while still churning out quality translations and lettering.

I don’t think any of us anticipated such perils when we signed up to be localizers. Still, it’s a fun gig, and the problems are amusing in their own way.

Again Tomorrow - Ashita Kara Mouichido © Nabako Kamo. All rights reserved. Original Japanese edition published in 2010 by Taiyoh Tosho Publishing Co., Ltd. It’s available for Kindle HERE, for Nook HERE and other formats HERE.

That's covers everything going on at the moment, book wise. There is a whole lot of film related stuff in the works that I'll cover another time.
Stay tuned.

Spring, Cougars, Onion Jam and Updates

This blog can now be translated into every language that Google Translate covers. Just scroll down to the right hand menu to find the drop down box. Mind, these translations may be less than accurate. I'm just saying there is a reason why translator jobs still exist.
The month of fun ended at my favorite time of year in Los Angeles. The Jacaranda trees are in full bloom. Vibrant colors have exploded everywhere. The honeysuckle and night blooming jasmine are releasing their lovely scents. The last thing I expected from Los Angeles was that it would smell so lovely at any time of the year. Just down the street there is a beautiful blanket of yellow posies on a little tract of land next to an electric company power station. The gray weather that is typical of June in LA – June gloom to the locals – makes the colors pop all the more. The end of the Month of Fun is worth it for the beauty in the month that follows. I have added to the spring greenery. I have a lone tomato plant that seems to be thriving in the bedroom window. I've learned from the disaster with the herb garden that the only place in this apartment that gets strong, consistent sunlight is the bedroom. It just seems weird having vegetables growing there. I may not get actual tomatoes until December, but I'm going to keep at it this year.
One of my favorite birthday greetings – among some fabulous greetings (I thank you all for the kind words and good wishes) – was the one from my most sage and often most profane friend, Nick. He informed me that I am now officially a Cougar.
Before I continue, I'd like to mention that Craig had nothing to do with the four legged cougar that somehow made its way from the wilds about Pacific Palisades to just shy of the wilds of the 3rd Street Promenade in downtown Santa Monica http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2012/05/santa-monica-mountain-lion-killed-amid-safety-concerns.html. He did, however, have an explanation as to how it came to be there. There is a canyon above the Palisades that is difficult enough to get into that it has escaped development. The area has abundant game. Mountain lions thrive there. His theory is that this big cat was likely chasing game along a creek bed and went far enough that the bed turned into a concrete lined canal. Lining rivers and creeks is a bizarro habit in this part of the world. I believe its done in an effort to control the water ways. I thought the practice was limited to this region. However, I was dismayed to read that it is even more prevalent in Japan. At any rate, the cougar probably couldn't get out of the canal. It followed the route until it emptied near the beach and downtown Santa Moncia. Panicked 911 called ensued. Many animal rights activists have been screaming about killing the unfortunate animal. However, I agree with Craig. It panicked when they used the tranquilizer darts and bolted. This happened a short distance from the pier and the main drag in town. There are a lot of children out and about there. I'm sorry, but I agree that human safety takes priority. I also agreed with Craig that had this been in the era of our tenure at Borders, the mountain lion would have made it into the store and Phil would have been the most likely one to find it – followed by Craig. That was how store 93's luck worked.
Where was I? Ah yes, two legged cougars. I was placed to hear of this new designation as it coincided with my renewed interest in my appearance. I had made a few trips to the make-up aisles in various establishments where I did a lot of puzzled staring at the confounding array of products. Despite this deep confusion, I had replenished my long depleted collection.
I was wearing war paint and had my hair in a new do the day I set out to meet Marie and her mother for lunch. I stopped en route to shop for something else I hadn't had in years – a summer purse. My mother would be appalled at that sad state of affairs. As I left Ross Dress 4 Less (I'm not going to break the bank for my new look), I opted for the elevator to the street. Stairs are no longer my friends – if they ever were. As the elevator door opened, there stood a very tall, incredibly handsome blond young man. He carried headshots, naturally. I looked at him levelly and exclaimed 'Wow!' Obviously, my war paint, new purse and official designation left me feeling empowered. I especially enjoyed him blushing profusely and stumbling away. I may have thought such a thing in my twenties or thirties, but I would never have said it. At that ages, such a declaration would have been a gauntlet thrown. Now, unless I stepped in the cutie's path, it's clearly an appreciative observation. And it was a lot of fun! Sorry, but I have no photos of me in my new guise. I've gotten accustomed to not having photos taken. I will try to get some the next time I get dolled up.
On the cooking front, I've had some middling results from an experiment to make Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day – a book I discovered in a food blog. I've managed to finally get my crusts to work, but the loaves were too dense. The author kindly answered my plea for advice. She told me the dough was too wet. I plan to try again. Meanwhile, I have made a very successful apricot jam on my first attempt! The season goes on as does berry season. More jams will follow. I hope the bread will stand up to it. I think among the jams I'll make next will be onion jam. I made some caramelized onions for a flat bread I was baking with the experimental dough. I also used it on hot dogs and a number of other things. I think I'd like to keep that handy! And it's Vidalia onion season! I even have a book on that to help me. It took all these onions to make just a smudge of the caramelized stuff.
Updates
I have yet another blog. This one is dedicated to the web series version of Demon Under Glass that we are developing. This will be a detailed, no holds barred account of how an ultral low budget production is put together. You can find it at http://demonspawntales.blogspot.com. Like this blog, it can be translated into however many languages Google translate covers.

Blog Delay Due to Holiday

The hits on the blog site have been down for the weekend. I realized that many folks are out and about remembering the solemn holiday and/or starting their summers. I'm also waiting on a couple of things I'm updating. Thus, I decided to postpone posting the blog. There will be another mini blog during the week with some creative projects I'm promoting for myself and some other writers, publishers and filmmakers. I hope my wonderful readers will read up on them all and find a way to share and participate.

Meanwhile, the next blog will cover such things as a four legged cougar in Santa Monica, on my becoming a cougar, the end of the Month of Fun and the many and sundry updates. I hope everyone is making the most of an extra day off.

Stay tuned!

Random Acts and Industry Connections in LA

Sometimes, people from back east wonder about what we know about the Entertainment Industry and are we connected in anyway to things they might have seen. This came up yesterday and was the perfect opportunity to show both. Also, for my filmmaking friends out here, this location can meet almost any filmmaker's needs and is worth taking a look at.

This all started when the Hubs was sent a link via a forum he frequents. It was a short film based on the video game Portal . The first thing he realized was that it was shot in a place that has long been near and dear to us -- the massive warehouse complex at 7th and Alemeda in Downtown LA. Our Jack of All Trades on set, Randy Payne discovered it while scouting for a place for us to shoot a full blown version of the Privateers .



We think this complex has been in films as far back as the original version of The Postman Always Rings Twice. The funding fell through for us, but we kept an eye on the place. And we saw it in a lot of shows like the X-files, First Person Shooter.


Almost ten years flies by. One of the best peeps we worked with on Demon Under Glass, Lucy Doty, wanted to strike out on her own and open a soundstage for medical sets and medical consulting business. She needed a heap of space that had lots of room to grow. We weren't sure if it was still available, but we recommended the location at 7th and Alemeda. It was. She founded Central City Studios there. Early on, her being there saved Jon and my bacon as she was willing and able to rent space to our employer, Internet Archive, when it's lease at UCLA ended.

We took the opportunity of being there to use the site for our Blood Oath Web Series.

This is the warehouse alley with an extension created from a slum in Mumbai.
And this is the alley with our characters, Rik and Vincent from the Soldiers books (Lance Wesley and Matty Ferraro).
This is the background plate from the Portal shoot -- and much like the alley usually looks in daylight.
And this is a character about to fall though the portal.
This is the alley in The Transformers.
And this is the alley in Men in Black 3.

Okay, I hope it's clear that Central City Studio accommodates all comers, no matter their budget! Also, this is how random acts from a decade prior can come in handy in Los Angeles.

Crazy Busy, Crazy Face Thingies and More Food Fun

I didn't realize how busy this past week was until I began to sketch out this blog. Yes, I do deliberately plan these things! Let's see, in the creative column, there was editing 60 pages of Manga, putting out some fires connected the the blog we'd just finished, drawing up an actor schedule for a film without benefit of the very helpful software (it involves converting a lot of fractions – yes, little Joey, you DO use fractions in real life – then, piling the breakdown pages by scene, then by day shoot and night shoot and then by characters), writing a clever and insightful (at least, I hope it was) 2500 word essay on public transit in Los Angeles and editing 20 minutes of messy footage into a 4 minute video with trembling hands. The tremors in my hands come when I get too little sleep and too much stress. It's a lingering side effect from the chemo I was on. There is a wide array of opinions on whether or not the tremors and the numbness in my feet will fade away completely. The tasks I accomplished on the personal side will be detailed throughout the blog.
Here is the video.I did a tutorial for ex-pats in Japan on how they can make a Philly steak sandwich with ingredients from the local market. I did it for relatives of my in-laws and some ex-pat friends. The sound editing is not as smooth as I'd like. That was from the shaky hands. I could have re-edited everything, but I was tired and ready to move on.
Month of Fun – Indulgences Galore!
The indulgences during the Month of Fun aren't just about having fun. It's also about taking the time to do things for oneself that it is often hard to make time for. I don't mean eating right or exercising. I consider that part of what Jon calls my primary job of getting back to what passes for normal. I mean finding time for girly things. I haven't had a manicure or pedicure for a couple of years. I can't remember when I last had a facial. I'm not ready to go have these things at a spa. Since my immune system was compromised, I have to avoid places where there is a chance for infection. Yes, that is on the list. So are salad bars and buffets. Think about that. For now and the foreseeable future, I am doing home beauty treatments. That means a lot of research on places like google and youtube. I was aghast at how many videos and web pages are dedicated to these procedures. Since I haven't done these in a long, long while, I am slow. Everything is an ordeal and seems to require a great many substances and all kinds of equipment.
But of course, I find humor in all of this. There was an intriguing recipe for a very inexpensive and easy facial that promised to remove whiteheads and blackheads and leave skin very soft. It involved egg whites and strips of toilet paper. The idea was to mimic products like Biore facial strips. I gave it a whirl after doing my involved, deep cleansing regimen. The most difficult stage was trying to smooth all the paper strips on my problem areas before the egg whites dried too much. Somehow, that stage was accomplished and I looked like a Hammer studios mummy wearing a tee shirt and Capri pants. I sat in the living room next to Jon, who was on his computer, for a half an hour waiting for the strips to dry and harden. He never noticed. I'll take a photo next time. The facial worked! My skin looks and felt great.
Once I had my face, nails and hair in order, I turned my attention to cosmetics. I haven't worn those much in the last few years. And from what I'm finding on youtube, I am very much behind the times. When did false eyelashes come back??!! And what's with the sparkly eyeshadow? The regimens I found on line involved primers (like in paint?) and bases and primary coats and contouring and highlighting and blending. I didn't know I had a lash line and a water line around my eyes. And I thought eyeshadow beneath the lower lashes was considered a mistake. I live in a climate where most make-up melts off. That's a constant problem on any of my sets. How am I going to wear all of these layers without a make-up artist following me with a blotter. If I use a spray to set my make-up, will it ever come off? I spent a long time staring at things in confusion at the local drug store. According to the videos, I man eight brushes (at a cost of $120) shy of what I need to correctly apply makeup. And I don't have nearly enough products. Do I really need a palette of 120 eye shadows? How many different shades of brown does a gal need, for goodness sake? I updated some products that had dried up or clumped and called it a day.
I used my new make up and updated application skills to make myself presentable for a very special lunch. Marie honored me with a special double treat. One was lunch at the very trendy and popular Bottega Louie's. The other was sharing her time with her wonderful Mom. She is an accomplished cook whose brain I'd wanted to pick for years. She is also very witty with a wicked sense of humor. I see where Marie gets those wonderful traits. The food was incredible. I had a small plate of perfectly cooked diver scallops (I can never get them quite right). That kind of beautifully prepared seafood makes me want to dance in my seat. And it was so rich and dense that between that and the panzanella salad, I had no room for the decadent desserts. We wisely took them home. I had such a blast. Still, I missed farmer's market Tuesday and martinis with Marie. We will be sure to do that this week.
The last big fun for the week was a trip to Surfas restaurant supply in Culver City. It is a fantasy land for cooks. I had a very modest list of items that turned out to be in one small section of the store. We managed to explore all of it as I always do. This time, I was after vanilla mean paste, a substance that is far cheaper than the beans but has the same intense flavor and lasts forever on the pantry shelf. I also got some new pastry brushes, and another dough scraper. However, I made a list of many, many more items that I would love to have, including a chef's coat! Hinting for Christmas!
No updates from last week. Haven't I been busy enough?! I have production meetings of all sorts this week.
Stay tuned.

Birthday Fun, Secret Plans and Dark Shadows

I must get this out of the way as it is part of my yearly rant during the Month of Fun. I am fully enjoying each day as it comes. I always do. However, the fun is much funner in the south of France and, of course, Paris. There is just something magical about sitting outside a bistro on an ancient, stone covered street on a hill overlooking a sparkling bay filled with million dollar yachts while drinking champagne. And best of all, the champagne was a happy hour special! We were lucky enough to spend two separate Months of Fun in Paris and Cannes. We didn't spend a lot of money each day, but each day was amazing. It's been far too many years since my last trip. At least, I'm not angry about not annoyed about not being there. It's a wistful feeling – and a determined one. It's time to make something to take to the next film market! Luckily, I have a few ideas on how to get that done. Cue evil laughter!
Month of Fun – The Birthday Week
I had a lot of deadlines to meet this past week. That meant that I wasn't gallivanting as much as I planned. I almost didn't make it out for the Farmer's Market on Tuesday, because we were doing last minute adjustments on the latest manga, Wild Boyfriend. Up until this gig, I never had Skype nor wanted it. Now, I spend hour and hours on it with the letterer in our localizing group. Funny thing though, neither of us use the camera function. I'm usually a mess and I don't like how I look under the lighting in the living room. I have lived with a director for a long time! The few times I have used my webcam, you should see the lighting I have set up in the room. No one could easily walk around it! Anyway, I spent a lot of time this week on Skype with Henae finishing the manga then making corrections that Digital Manga required. I was also finishing an essay on public transit for Marie Lecrivain's Alternate Lanes, a literary zine about how to get around LA on anything but a car. And then, there were a series of 'can you do this ASAP' things that happen sometimes. And finally, there is a pilot script that I need to get out ASAP. I had to put off the exploring I wanted to do until next week. But when I think about it, I've always wanted to work as a writer. This week was sure filled with writing. I can't say it wasn't fun.
I'm lucky that my birthday falls near Mother's Day. That means that things like champagne and lobster are deeply discounted. I'm happy to have a nice glass of bubbly on the day itself and indulge in my favorite things. I do love to cook, but I didn't want to exhaust myself making lobster rolls, and I really didn't feel like baking my own cake. I always enjoyed the cakes the various jobs I've had out here would get from Vons/Pavillions for birthdays and departures. Since that was where the bubbly and the lobster were, it was easy to get a beautifully decorated, fudgy and decadent cake. I know it's a disappointment to those who thought I had a hedonistic day filled with oil covered, muscular attending my every whim. Fear not, I still have about 18 days! And there have been some prospects.
Dark Shadows and Why You Are Wrong
The big treat this week, or at least I hoped it would be, was going to the first movie since Tangled was released two years ago! Now, there's been a lot of angry buzzing about Dark Shadows on the interwebs before the film was released. 'Dark Shadows was not a comedy' was the gist of the arguments against Tim Burton's take on the film. I would argue that it wasn't a deliberate comedy, but it was frequently pretty danmed funny. I was the series as a kid as did Depp and Burton. I hold very fond memories of it in my heart. But let's face it, people. Dark Shadows was a soap opera with vampires, ghosts and werewolves. Mainstream soap operas can't help but drift into the weird and dopey. Anyone remember the Cassadines and their Weather Machine and the plot to freeze the world in General Hospital? Or have you forgotten the Lost City of Eterna on One Life to Live. When you have 1200 shows to write, plots are bound to drift toward the silly. I think it was brilliant for Burton and Depp to embrace the wonky things about the series and spin them to the advantage of the film.
Warning! Mild spoilers to follow. For the record, Dark Shadows is not a comedy. The film has a very strong and twisted sense of humor. The humor was the easiest thing to focus on in the trailers. And it's the most logical thing to showcase as a few generations have cropped up since it was a series, and movie mogul types like to have as broad an audience as possible for a film that expensive to make. Dark Shadowsis scary and gruesome at times. The tension at the climatic scene was intense. I was terrified for the Collins, because I had grown attached to that highly dysfunctional family and there was a real possibility that none of them would survive. I was particularly impressed with Michelle Pfieffer's performance. She managed to hold her own as a straight man against Johnny Depp. Her character rang true in a group a bigger than life characters. Elizabeth Collins was the main reason I thought the whole family had earned the right to survive. That said, Johnny Depp has redeemed vampires in my eyes. He is romantic, articulate and engaging but never sparkles. The soundtrack was awesome! It made me want to jump out of my seat! So, forget preconceived notions and go enjoy the romp!
UpdatesI'm having lunch with some really cool people this week. I will also be having meetings about the upcoming projects! Great food and fun and excitement await!
Stay tuned!