D.L. Warner's Blog: The Perilous and Profane, page 4

Craig vs the ALA and More Adventures in Japanese

Craig scolded me today. I had been on the fence about pulling out of a commission I'd accepted to write a script. He told me that I of all people know that life was too short to do things that aren't creatively fulfilling. And then he sang me a song he wrote about Driving Miss Daisy. It's really difficult to be morose when you're laughing your head off. This encounter reminded me of another conversation I had with Craig that illustrates that as crazy as he can be, I often find myself agreeing with him.
Craig vs the ALA
Craig called last week in a dither over an exam he has to take for a grad school class. He's becoming a librarian, don't cha know. Apparently, he hadn't done well in a mock exam and wanted my opinion on the test, his answers and what the correct ones were supposed to be.
A neighborhood chapter of the KKK wants to put up a competing display for MLK Day.Craig: There's a chapter of the Klan in my neighborhood? What's their address? I wonder if I can get a gas can before the hardware store closes. Why? Nevermind? Maybe I can get enough rotten meat for a six foot cross? Can you even light a fire with rotten meat?Me: Yes, you have to allow the display or take them both down if it'll be too disrupting for the branch. Apparently, the ALA took my stance.
One of your co-workers is in NAMBLA. He wants to hold a group meeting in the community room. Should you allow it?Craig: How quickly can I fire him as in brun ward fire? Are you crazy? We sign a pledge to protect children at the public library I work in!Me: That is nuts! Parents in that area would sue the pants off the city – and win. It's a neighborhood of really good attorneys. And does this co-worker shelve in children's books? Craig and I both agreed that such a meeting could be in the furtherance of committing a crime. Apparently, the ALA sees no problem with such a meeting.
One of the librarians threatens a co-worker during a confidential HR meeting. Do you alert the authorities?Craig: Hell, yes. That is a criminal act. He supposed to guarantee the safety of everyone at the branch. And if he says nothing, and something happens, the library is liable.Me: I agreed with Craig and not just because I'm the daughter of a cop. The ALA valued employee privacy over another's safety.
Craig opted to take the hit on the questions rather than mindlessly parrot it back. He gave the TA an earful in class about the real world and the word liability both civil and criminal.
Deb vs Japanese Squid Parts and Shiatsu Edition
I have been obsessed with soup stocks for quite some time. There is nothing like soup or sauce made from real stock. Also, I am lucky enough to live in a neighborhood with a lot of markets that sell various animal parts that are suitable for the stock pot and no less than three Farmers markets for the necessary produce. I love noodles soups in general, but have become more and more interested in real ramen soup. The stuff that is the staple for college students is far different from the stuff served in ramen houses all over Japan (and increasingly in the US). Ramen has become so hip that even Philly has what is considered to be a respectable ramen house. To learn more about the makings of a good bowl, I bought Ivan Ramen, a bio and cookbook by a New Yorker who runs one of the best ramen houses in Tokyo. Aside from having a fascinating bio, he made his soup sound so yummy that I really wanted to try to duplicate his process. Thus, I found myself in two of the larger Japanese markets in the area (we're lucky to live near three of them) trying to track down the ingredients. I clever took along the Kindle reader in case my pronunciations were as bad as they tended to be or to convince the clerks that I actually wanted dried squid testicles. They are said to add sweetness to dashi stock – a key component of the Ivan Ramen double soup. Neither store had any, but I did give a few clerks quite a chuckle asking for them. My Japanese is not improving with any speed, but I do provide enjoyment for many native speakers that I run across. Meanwhile, the stocks are coming along brilliantly.
That same week, I found myself out of sorts. Some of the reason is the same matter that Craig was scolding me over. The tension was such that I couldn't turn my head. And I wasn't writing as much as I should be and I wasn't drawing at all. Massages often help, but I decided to have a Shiatsu massage to help me relax and release pent up energy. Of course no one told me that involved stretching my limbs in all sorts of unlikely positions while the attractive and very male practitioner straddled me. I was very pleased that my limbs remained as flexible as they are, but I'm not sure if it was the massage of how silly it made me. We both ended up laughing through it. I'll have to try it again.
Updates
We're working on a number of publishing relating things. But I do have a lot of work coming out in the next couple of months.
Stay tuned.
Photos My first real bento lunch
Winter Foliage
Winter Cactus
Steamed buns
Lucky Goddess
Green Tea Fudge
Lucky Ducks
Lucky Money
finished ravioli
finished noodles
Rolling out dough
Homemade pasta start 

New Year New Outlook and Revelations

Year End Madness
It was a delightful surprise to be told during my last appointment at Oncology Clinic that my care was to be transferred to my primary care doctor. I was no longer part of the clinic save for the annual tests. That really made me feel good going into the teeth of the holiday season. I also had some catering and film related work to cover some of our overhead thus giving us extra spending money. And then the other shoe dropped. Or actually, it was my right foot. I did something to my knee on the way from a film meeting. I was in a hurry and handled one of those 8 inch curbs Los Angeles is famous for badly. I didn't fall. In fact, I made the rest of my appointments that day without a problem. I went nowhere the next day. It was soon clear that I would be getting very little done that didn't involve hanging out on the sofa.
That was upsetting as I had dozens and dozens of cookies to bake. I still had shopping to do for everything from gifts to food. I knew that I would not make deadlines to ship my baked gifts to family and friends. Ironically, I have not been in this position since the year I was diagnosed. That was disheartening. However, everyone I ship to is aware of my occasional set backs, so I did not let that deflate my holiday cheer. After all, Jon would be off for a whole week, and there was a lot of liquor in the house (I highly recommend Kirkland Egg Nog Liqueur sold by Costco. It is both smooth and very, very potent). Where was I?
Jon and I had a very nice holiday with the people we love and got to spend a lot of time together. On Christmas Eve, Jon and I celebrated the 20th anniversary of our first date. It was quiet but very nice. I think we're better now as a couple, because we know how to really communicate. We sure laughed a lot during his vacation. Things were very silly in the house, and that was wonderful.
Update! I had to finally got to the ER for the knee as it was not healing. In fact, I kept injuring it. The verdict: no severe injury. I have to wear my brace at all times for a while. And I have to keep it elevated as much as possible. I am behaving now, honest.
Jon vs ManscapingNo, I haven't suggested that the poor man get his back waxed, as some have suggested. He doesn't need that kind of maintenance. It all begins with the fact that he his one of the most difficult people I know to buy a gift for. The only one who came close was my Dad. I gave up with him when I discovered he liked my baking. So I make some of his favorites for Christmas and other occasions. Jon tends to get anything he's interested in as the thoughts occur to him. He just isn't the wish list type, and then he's very particular about things he's inclined to want. There are always things tht he needs, but I don't want to feel like I'm being a Mommy by buying just things like socks and jammies. As always, I was wracking my brain as the holiday grew closer.
And then, Jon began complaining about dry, tight skin around his mouth. That's normal for a man of his age. His skin has also gotten sensitive over the years. Thus, when I was shopping for who knows what late in the shopping season, I ran across a gift set of his shaving cream along with a moisturizer and a light scrub. It was the same company as the stuff he's used for years. He gave it a look like it was a Brazilian bikini wax. Then he noticed that I was glowering at him, he said he'd use it on special occasions. I decided that those times are called weekdays. I think he'll use it in the end. Jon likes to look sharp.

Perspectives
Throughout much of last year, I found I was upset that my blog was not getting out in a timely fashion. I just was unable to eek out any kind of spare time to put together a proper blog. I felt like I was failing to schedule my time properly. However, events in recent weeks have caused me to look at these lapses differently. For years prior to my diagnosis, Jon and I were leading a very structured life. We still had some creative irons in the fire, but that was nothing like when we were actively chasing a film project. During those stable days, we'd get an occasional semi-urgent phone call to pull a file and email it somewhere. It would barely be a blip in our day. Our weeks seldom varied in routine. There was actually a time of day on Sunday when I would write my blog. The blogs weren't as regular when I first began writing them.
However during much of last year and stretching into this one, Jon and I have been really pushing our creative projects aggressively on many fronts. Our free time has been a lot like it was when I began writing this blog. That has meant having to write whole film schedules and budgets in hours or combing through records for a ten year old contract or who knows what, but an answer is needed now, now, now. And when you start moving and shaking and making connections even at our level, it begets others seeking out help with their projects. The good thing to do is to help where you can. You do that solid without expecting one in return, because you will be rewarded somewhere down the line. Of course, that could mean trying to hook up a bunch of hospital baby beds for a commercial shoot in Canada with only hours notice (something I did) or finding someone who has a walrus for a shoot (I assisted on that one). I have some phone numbers that come in handy-like sometimes. Long story short, when you start trying to make things happen in film, whole days get derailed chasing leads that could amount to nothing. It leaves a gal mentally exhausted and really snarky from coping with my own weird crap and that of others' visited upon my door. I hate writing snarky blogs. I don't like writing them while exhausted either. They always lack the joy experiencing such zaniness can bring. And I do enjoy it. No one has a life like someone trying to make films happen in LA. When I do have a few moments of lucidity, I've been using them on writing assignments. I am now at peace with the blogs happening when they happen. I hope my readers will understand. I think it'll be worth the wait for it to turn up.

Next time – The surprisingly lucrative and exciting freelance job that dropped into our laps while I was trying to make Sunday pancakes.
Stay tuned.

Celebrating Zora Neale Hurston's Birthday
Jon finishing the chess sets.
Jon and Marie testing a chess set.
Me with my favorite gifts, the giant wok and my chef's coat.
New Year's Eve formal.
Our Christmas e-card.
Another favorite gift. I've had trouble putting it down.
The first haul of the year from the Farmers Market.
A Japanese twist on Southern New Year's Traditional Food.
A Japanese omelet with scrapple for New Year's Day.

Naked Truths, New Status and Updates!

I actually try to shop locally as much as I can. We are incredibly fortunate to reside in an area with a lot of shopping at our finger tips. We're really lucky to live near all manner of businesses that support my little cooking biz. There are two major Japanese markets in the immediate area. There are some seriously good ethnic markets where I get my stock makings and cheap veggies when not at the farmers market. And there are some major restaurant supply joints a short drive from here. I now qualify for a professionals discount from those! But one of my favorite places is Gloria's Cake and Candy Supply. I always go there for my Small Business Saturday purchases. For a while, they had the most interesting clerk to ever work in such an establishment. He looked like he walked off of a stage at a battle of the death metal bands. I was so tickled at him selling things like Spongebob cake toppers. He didn't look quite as extreme as the Vegan Metal Death chef here, but it is close. Alas, he was not there this past Small Business Saturday. On Prince's Erotic City and its incredibly racy lyrics. I was shocked until I thought about it for a moment. When that song was popular, the snowy haired owner would have been in her 20s as I was. She may have enjoyed turning out the dance floor to Prince as much as I did. She may still. That made shopping for my mini cupcake liners and piping bags a lot more fun as I head bobbed through the aisles.duty was the elegant showy haired lady who owns the place. And that was why the choice of music was a bit shocking. It was

The Naked Truth
Los Angles is a magnet for good looking people all over the world. They are drawn here to try their hand in the various entertainment fields. On any given day, rain or shine, I can look from the door to my building to the bike path across the street and see male beauty of all colors and types biking or skating or jogging past in all manner of dress. I've been told that there are some amazing sights to see in my own building. Jon has seen a young man who likes to do pull ups near the laundry room nearly naked. I'm told he's built like a swimmer. I've had visitors tell me about the gloriously built, tawny skinned blond from upstairs going to his apartment from the pool. Why am I writing as if I never get to see these things? Because, I don't, it seems. When I see any of these men, they are fully clothed. Who do I get to see naked? Usually, octogenarians. One day during the Demon Under Glass Shoot, we had about a half dozen really hot, young actors portraying commandos. They were incredibly built with adorable smiles. All day long I heard of the various crew seeing these guys in the all together. You know who I get to see in his skivvies, Jack Donner. I always end up seeing him in his skivvies. And last week, I saw another very very elderly man in boxers. This time, it was the neighbor of the Cat Lady Who Calls Me Barbara. He was taking out his trash to the dumpster which had been moved out front for collection. He seemed annoyed at me that I was on a public street while he was out of his apartment without a robe.
Speaking of elderly gents, I ran into an adorable widower who reminded me a bit of my father. He had a dark blue stretch limo parked in front of my Costco. I must have been looking at the vehicle quizzically, because he struck up a conversation and offered me his card should I require his services. I have no doubt that he was hitting on me a bit, but I've gotten tickled by the notion of doing my last minute shopping and cookie deliveries in a stretch limo. He claims it would be the same price as a cab. We'll see...
Big News
I went for my latest check up at the oncology clinic ready for battle. I was tired of going there once a month for a five minute B-12 shot. No one in my cancer support group was going to the doctor for those shots if they needed them. Additionally, there had been a policy change that dictated that I had to fill my prescription for the vitamin at the hospital pharmacy. This would mean that I'd have a two day appointment once a month for something all other patients with my cancer do at home. It was ridiculous. Well, an amazing thing happened when I brought up the B-12 shot. The resident came back from conferring with the head of the department and said that I still had enough of that part of the intestine that absorbs B-12. I didn't need the shots if I made sure I was getting a B-12 rich diet. In fact, I was well enough to transfer monitoring my condition to my primary care doc save for the annual tests. They needed the space for someone sicker. It was almost four years to the day that I had been diagnosed. When I realized that this was good news, I was elated! I'll go back next week to take the nurses the Christmas cookies they've been anticipating, but it will be nice to not have to go back so often. It's nice to be free of the designation of cancer patient. I can really embrace the designation of survivor!
Updates!Part One – Cooking
Thanksgiving was exciting and scary. I had some clients for pies and bead and sides. One of them was a favorite Aunt on my Father's side of the family. The Warner women are stellar backers, so sending her baked goods was almost terrifying. The family liked everything! My Aunt liked the goods enough that she wants me to bake for clients from her own business. She's not a caterer, but she often baked for certain clients who needed something home made for a special occasion. She's going to sub-contract those gigs to me! My dinner rolls were very well received as was my first ever vegan apple pie! I was so happy that it all went well. I have a few clients for Christmas and none for the New Year's celebrations. I plan a push to get some more of those. I'd like to keep it growing at a slow pace, so I don't get overwhelmed during this merry time of year. I do have a long range plan should my orders really start coming in. Unfortunately for Jon, it involves dragooning him as perhaps some of my other friends and a professional kitchen. But that's for later. Meanwhile, here is the link to my website http://deborahlwarner.wix.com/dlwcatering#!hors-doeuvers/c1e7h. If you don't see it, write me or call me! I can make anything!
Part Two – WRITING!!
When last we met here, I was in a deep, deep funk about where my writing projects were and how slowly they were progressing. Since those very dark days, I have devised a plan to get back to the output I had a year or so ago. I had to figure out why I was stuck with each title that was at an impasse. That's been an interesting process. I'm not an actual believer in writer's block where I'm concerned. I've been trained to write no matter what is going on in my life. That's why I think out my treatments and outlines so carefully. I can then churn out pages ever when I am having the worst kind of days. That's what's been so disconcerting about this problem that has been getting worse with each passing month. What I realized is that I am having an issue with the original plan for one book that has brought me to a halt. As for the rest, I've been profoundly unhappy about how my work has fared on the market. There was an ever growing, 'why do I even bother' growing. Well, I've been schooled in why and how I should continue. Thus, this list is not as daunting as it seems. I'm actually working on some short fiction with the characters in my yaoi books. That's been fun which is more than I could say about my writing for quite some time.

Stay tuned!
And now, a look at the past few weeks in photos.
Turkey Stock.
Bondage turkey.
Our favorite actor headshot from the Privateers.
Piles of beautiful collards at the farmers market.
An odd prop from The Gunslinger.
Strange fruit at the farmers market.
Jon's desk after a lot of arts and crafts.
Craig at my library.
Farmer's Market fare.
Carbine Whiskey at Costco.
Singer John Legend causing a stir at our happy hour.
Jon's beautiful chess set in pieces.
A blast from our past.
My experiment with a Shrimp appetizer as a main dish.
My view of a casting session 

Big Reality Check, Boiling Wigs and Salarymen

I had hoped to begin this blog with the boiling of the purple wig weeks ago, but that was not to be. I was so crazy busy that I couldn't keep up with day to day obligations let alone blog. And then, there was Bent-con (http://Bent-con.org). I'd say 80% of everything we were doing was focused on getting ready for that. Everything else got shoved violently into a corner. I can't even tell you how many writing deadlines I've blown. I'm still sifting through the wreckage of my writing career. I can't blog about Bent-con now. I'm still sorting out the information that I learned there and put it with the proper hat I was wearing at the time I learned it. That will take some time. I'll put a link to the best cosplay costumes and some of the fun photos I took at the end of the blog for the time being. There is also a link to the interview I did while in the booth. Some say I did well with it. I was nervous – it's been a while since I've been on camera like that – so I wasn't sure.
Boiling the wig was fun. The whole notion tickled me. I got the idea from youtube – and not from avid cosplayers. Oh no, it was from women like me. Sistahs who like to wear wigs. It's a trait for some from my ethnic background to wear incredible Sunday going to meeting hats like it is for wearing lots of wigs. My Maw-in-law will note here that originally, that the people who were going to meetings on Sundays were Quaker, and Quakers are not likely to wear big fancy hats. I have no idea how that phrase came into being. Where was I? Oh, yes, wigs. Apparently, there are bunches of videos on Youtube like this one  http://youtu.be/Z7mTVtpTDN8from the sistahs who wear wigs and how to keep them fresh and new. That one has a long opeing, but it gets to the point after a minute. I enjoyed the task as it reminded of playing with doll hair when I was little. I wasn't happy with the costume, I must admit (see photos below), but everyone agreed that I looked great in that wig. So, I wore it again the Tuesday before Halloween at the Culver Hotel while Marie wore her epic top hat and at Bent-con with a different outfit. I may wear it for other occasions. Heck, I may get some other crazy colors. Those wigs were fairly cheap. It was fun to not be completely myself. The wig gave me an exotic persona. It was also nice to get all dolled up. I suppose I get why actors like acting.
On Priorities
I was brought up short in recent weeks. It was a violent upending of my views on the illness I fought and the realities that could be visited upon me. Someone from our cancer group that we thought the strongest amongst us is weeks from needing hospice care. She had had a couple recurrences of her illness, but she seemed unstoppable. Now, she isn't. I know that I cannot compare illnesses. Though we have the same overall diagnosis, there are so many sub-variants along with degrees of severity that comparisons are pointless. Still, I was harshly reminded of all of the promises I made myself while I was in that ICU and how many of them I have gone back on in some fashion. I am ashamed to admit that I have not done a number of things that were in my grasp to do. And I have done a number of things I swore I'd never do again. Some of the latter have actually caused me health problems. I am not ignoring the wake up call. I am going to do a lot of pulling back on obligations and focusing on the things that I have direct control of – mainly my fiction and my very tiny film projects (the ones I shoot in my own living room, for example). There will be no more pushing projects with people who do not share either my enthusiasm or work ethic. I have been sternly reminded that the time I was given was a precious gift. I will not be taking it for granted anymore.
Deb vs Japanese – Costco Edition
I try to avoid Costco on Friday afternoons. It can be a source of great aggravation. Alas, occasionally, the schedule does not cooperate, and I found myself navigating through dense configurations of cars and shopping carts. This store is cavernous – at least the size of a football field. I think it may be bigger. Sure feels like it is. Despite it's size, it fills up with people and carts really quickly. This is especially true on Friday afternoons and on weekends. There are also samples being handed out at intervals at the most inconvenient places that make for frequent bottlenecks. It is in this situation that I find a wall of men in suits that is five guys across slowly walking along and looking about like they had all the time in the world. I was in a terrible hurry, so I was instantly infuriated. They were speaking in Japanese.
Thus, I excused myself for interrupting them and asked for the American. I knew it had to be one in charge of this gaggle. They were all started by the irate American woman speaking really simple but competent Japanese, but one pointed to a crisply pressed and nicely coiffed blonde guy in a really nice suit. To him I said. 'Really? Five across on Friday afternoon?' He blushed and quickly moved the men to a single line. As I stormed past the lot of them, I heard one of the men ask if I was Okatu, a term for an obsessive fan currently most associated with manga and anime fans. Such pursuits do tend to be the gateway for Americans to the Japanese language, so that made sense. However, I replied in Japanese, “No, I am Fujoshi.” The men either shrank back or chuckled nervously as that meant that I was an extremely naughty fan girl.
I left rather amused with myself though I do long for the day when my Japanese will consist of more than brief utterances that are usually out of irritation. Though I admit that it is nice to live in a sliver of town where I can actually practice the language.
Next time – Bent-con report and the holiday baking season plans!
Stay tuned!

 
Photo Round Up for November 1-15
Photos will make more sense with the next blog. Probably.
Deb being interviewed:http://youtu.be/whrYMzh6wMs
The 20 Best Cosplay Pics from Bent-Con 2013 http://www.toplessrobot.com/2013/11/20_marvels_hercules_we_start.php
Booth Babe Front
Me with darling Peter, Bent-con's Social Media Wiz.
Early smiles.
Our talented Booth neighbor.
Acid Trip
Booth swag.
Booth Silliness.

Waiting for the interview.
Cosplay dance.
Booth babe back.
Our lovely booth.
Dance Fever gone wrong.
Sunshine and a Twisted Sister.
Book fort.
Room mascot. 

Scenes from a Marriage and Marina del Rey

I spend a lot of time in Marina del Rey lately. It is the home of a yacht club and million dollar condos. It's also the home of Costco, a bitchin' dollar store and some social services agencies. It is a mix of the incredibly well heeled and the those of us with worn down heels. Sometimes, this mix is annoying. Sometimes, it's really funny. I can say honestly that it is never dull. I had two encounters in one week that encapsulate the dichotomy of the interactions.
Scene One: Entitlement Zone
I'm in the express lane in Pavillions Market in the heart of MdR. It is a regular market with some upscale touches, but nothing like the Hoi polloi market that is Gelsons where they dust the fruit individually and toss anything with even a hint of a blemish. There I stood with a flexible but not wide open schedule for that day. There were things that I needed tp get done in a timely fashion. The man ahead of me conducting his transaction had his I phone on the little counter next to the credit card reader. He still had reusable bags in his cart as he explained in comedic schtick how disorganized his rain was. After finishing the transaction, he decided to put the spare change into one of those little boxes designated for a charity. The slots are difficult when the box is empty. This one was full to bursting. That meant putting some English on the change while not moving his iphone from the little counter or his cart or himself out of the path of my transaction for nearly five minutes as if the rest of us were free to participate in his disorganized brain. If I had given a hint that I found this inconsiderate he would have been annoyed...nay, he would have been enraged that I called him on being an self-absorbed, inconsiderate bastard while he was being charitable. This is the way of the land of million dollar condos.
Scene Two: The Insightful Merchant
I was on my way to another destination after a Costco run when I realized that I hadn't eaten for many hours and would keel over before long. I ended up in a donut shop looking for water (I left home without that as well) and a viable snack (something not calorie crazy). I know, donut shop! The water was nice and cheap, but my eyes chanced upon a display of Cheetos. Returning to film shoots had re-kindled my love of that diabolical snack food.“Oh no! Not Cheetos,” I said in despair.“But why not Cheetos?” Asked the Merchant. “You work very hard every day and deserve a little treat. "Besides, Cheetos are inexpensive and quite delicious.”How could I not buy the Cheetos? I also felt quite tickled from the entire encounter. That little chuckle carried me through the rest of my errands.
The aggravating and the amusing have always been part of my dealings in MdR. That merchant is likely accustomed to selling to all the stripes of MdR customers and has become quite charming at the game. I plan on frequenting his establishment. On the other hand, in order avoiding bursting a vein or courting arrest, I have learned a great deal of patience and forbearance in dealing with the Entitled. Dude would never get why I couldn't accept that his time was far more important than anyone in the line. He would just get indignant and enraged. It's not worth the effort. I have perfected the knowing eyebrow raise at the often beleaguered store clerks. And that's enough. The Hubs is not so good at these tactics, however. That is why I've taken to shopping without him when I have to shop in MdR. It's just easier on both of us and the lunkheads we might encounter. That's what a good spouse does.
Scenes from a Marriage
On October 3rd, Jon and I marked our 15th anniversary! We are amused that we are oft viewed by our friends as having a smooth sailing marriage. All but one friends who happened to have roomed with us for a spell cackled at that notion. It's taken years of negotiation and mellowing that comes with age to get to this point. I don't know how many very tense shopping trips over the years it took before I realized that Jon simply cannot suffer fools without reacting in strong terms. Sure, he was helpful with carrying bags or pulling the heavy granny cart up curbs. But that help was not worth the tension we both endured for hours after the trip. Jon wasn't changing, so it was best for us both that he didn't come along for some of the trips. However, there are some excursions that Jon really doesn't mind tagging along. He doesn't mind shoe shopping. In fact, he has a lot more patience for that kind of shopping than I do. The other day, I saw him rocking my big ol' purse on his shoulder the other day, I knew that he is definitely a keeper. But then, I always have known that.
Strangely, what we think of as our real anniversary is on Christmas Eve. That was when we officially seeing each other. This year makes 20 years that we've been together. That's hardly seems possible to me on most days. And then, my knees creak and I remember that I'm not 33 anymore and Jon's hair is a lot grayer (or whiter, actually, as is mine). We celebrated the wedding  anniversary with a favorite meal that was one that we often had while we were dating. It was spaghetti aglio e olio topped with a little lump crab meat and garlic bread. I also had my ultimate crab cakes and Key Lime Pie for dessert. It was simple for me to make, and something we really enjoy for the taste and the memories. I want to do something really special for the 20th anniversary in December, but I have no idea what. We tend to be strapped for cash at that time of the year. Maybe we'll pull off a getaway somewhere for a few days. I really wish there was that Star Trek exhibit somewhere. That would have been nice to visit again. I'm open for suggestions.
Meanwhile, I have a lot of writing to prep for Bent-con and the other projects. What's going on? I promise, promise, promise to post next week. Meanwhile, see the photos below for my recent adventures.
Stay tuned.Farmer's Market Tuesday






Downtown Adventure 

 From the wedding 15 years ago
My adventures in a wholesale food market where I get my catering foodstuffs.
 A new way of serving scrambled eggs and a sausage patty.

Glamour, Book Launches and Other Adventures

Mother and I always enjoyed the glamor of old Hollywood. To this day, I really love trench coats and silk head scarves and classy evening gowns with long gloves. I was born at a time when every day glamor was ending. Women stopped wearing gloves and hats routinely. Nowadays, even the most glamorous of starlets doesn't have a proper wrap for a red carpet event. Even finding a trench coat has become an ordeal. They must be back in style, because now, I can at least find real ones – for a stiff price, that is. I've had brushes with glamor over the years. Some of them have been truly astounding. When we last went to Cannes, there were many opportunities for glamor. I have never wore four evening gowns in a week. But there was one particular Gare
du Nord in Paris  when we took the train to Cannes from Paris. That's pretty glam on its own, but we were in this incredible train shed with tons of history and ambiance. I kept seeing Audrey Hepburn from Charade in the corner of my eye. We even got to have coffee in a cafe near the tracks. All that was missing from that dramatic and glamorous was fog. It was really an awesome feeling to stroll to our train car in such a setting.
place that we found really glamorous, and I know that Mother would agree. That was at

It's been some years since we experienced that sort of glamor or anything close to it. However, last month, we did have a fine evening with something I've never experienced, and I was a bartender at one time. Sybaritic Press was doing a book launch of our Anais Nin anthology: From a Four Chambered Heart..... The launch itself was something that I don't typically take part in. For the most parts, my books have not come out with such a sense of occasion. The event was held at a very hip place near Jon's place of employment called the Mandrake. And what really heightened that sense of occasion and gave the gathering the proper kind of verve for such a truly Sybaritic author we were paying homage to was a special cocktail named after her. The Nin Fizz even had ingredients that sounded like they would come from salons Nin attended. The drink was made from champagne and St Germain. The drink was beautiful and it was potent – two things Nin would have appreciated. Had I had more than the two and Jon had not been there, I may have gotten into a world of trouble. That was something Nin also would have approved of! The evening was also filled with beautifully written, sensual poetry. I could imagine while in the thrall of the drink and the poetry that we were back in Paris having an most convivial evening with expats of that long past era. I could see the evening ending with some Champagne and St Germain inspired indiscretion followed by a Omelette du Fromage ou des Fines Herbs. I'd like to think that was the case for some of our guests. If so, that would have been a fine and proper launch of a Nin tribute. It was also a nice brush with some French tinged glamor after so very long.
Side Gigs and New Adventures
After many years of running the specialty film location, Central City Studio in Downtown Los Angeles, our Demon Under Glass. She was also our guardian angel when Internet Archive lost it's LA location and needed a new home. On a personal note, Lucy was Jon's go to counsel on how to deal with his often terrified wife during the worst of the cancer treatments. We are thrilled that she is finally going to get a chance to relax and enjoy her grand kids and ecstatic that Ralph and Marguerite get to hang out there own shingle and start a studio, Central City Stages. We'll have a role in the company, of course. My first one is a Production Services business with Ralph doing professional film schedules and budgets, key elements in finding funding, at rates that all budgets can afford. We've done so many over the years for ourselves and for other indie filmmakers that Jon jokes that I can weigh the script in one hand and tell how many shooting days it will need and that act 3 needs a little work. So if you have a film project that needs specialty sets like Hospitals or police precincts or a courtroom to name a few, stop on by. And if your script needs a professional business plan to attract investors click here: http://centralcitystages.com/about.html.


But that's not my only new business. I have also decided to take the plunge with my cooking and set up a very small catering company, DLW Catering – Cook for Hire. Here is the website. Right now, I'm only offering baked goods. Here is that link: http://deborahlwarner.wix.com/dlwcatering. Just click on Menu. All the photos are of my food. I'm about to announce what offerings I have for Thanksgiving. Why so soon? Well, that's the thing about my new businesses. They are very much of the 'order long before you need it' variety. Because, I'm still having bad days with my health. Those side effects of cancer treatment just keep on giving. Thus, I must take my time and not over tax. However, I think I can easily accommodate anyone who plans ahead.
Enjoy the photos from the book launch and the rest of this month's interesting pictures below. I have a lot to get into on my writing next time.
Stay tuned!

Book Launch for From the Four Chambered Heart: In Tribute to Anais Nin

Adventures in Japanese, Cookery and Writing for Reals

Once again, I began this blog days ago and have been kept from finishing. But it as just was well this time around. Some really fun things happened days after I would have finished. Jon turned up with The Dreaded Summer Cold this weekend. I was thus sent forth to find stock fixins and meds for my poor Hubs. And thus, my Saturday adventures began! I left almost two hours earlier than my norm on the weekend. Jon and I tend to amble about our day, so there is no hurry about anything. This time, I had to get moving. The Hubs needed some real soup and really needed some 'tussin (cough medicine with decongestants). And as men tend to be, he was really a sad and miserable thing. The best chicken stock comes from collagen rich parts like chicken wings or feet. I have a special source for those. Also, my favorite Japanese market usually has whole carcasses from the pieces and filets they've trimmed from the whole bird.
Pop Japanese Quiz and Drunken ProposalMy favorite clerk at Mitsuwa does not typically work on the weekend. Yet there he was bagging for one of the female cashiers that is also a Japanese transplant (I can tell by the way she says thank you like every anime character I've ever heard). He spoke to the cashier as I ambled up. I heard something about Japanese and me while I put my items on the conveyor belt. Before I could remember the sentence that informs native speakers that my Japanese is terrible, she was speaking to me about the transaction. I kept saying sorry, sorry as I managed to tell her that I had three pennies (the number 3 keeps coming up in anime) and I remembered how to say your welcome before saying good afternoon and goodbye. I turned on my young bagger friend wanting some English from him for all of my trouble. All I got from him was 'sup? He seemed very pleased with himself when I responded with an exasperated 'really?!' En route to the regular supermarket, I passed a red faced man sitting at a bus stop. I thought he was red faced because it was crazy hot for this part of town, and the man had no hat. He looked at me with bleary eyes as I passed. I got a little bit away before he shouted 'marry me' in a heavy slur. The exercise is working. The first thing that comes back when I lose weight is the rack. Maxi informed me during the shoot that I could give Beyonce's butt a run for the money. I yelled back in my best Rhoda Morganstern voice, “I'm Maaarreeed!' This sort of weird never happens when Jon is with me. Then, I run into a whole different kind of weird.
I made stock for a couple of different soups, and I made grilled cheese sammies. And I gave Jon his 'tussin' every six hours. I worked on this blog and the other writings I need to get done while Jon dozed in his chair while working on his chess pieces. He's making full blown sets on commission! Can an Etsy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Etsy account be far behind?
And Now, We Join the Blog Already in Progress
This week finds me cranky and a tiny bit desperate. And that is because I lost almost an entire week of work last week. I think all I managed to do in seven days were the blogs and a few emails. I was more productive during chemo! What happened? I ignored something that was incredibly important, and it took me a while to figure out what that was. You see, after the first surgery I had in 2009, I could no longer process vitamin B-12 through food or pills. That part of my intestines is gone. I'll need injections for the rest of my life. It's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Once a month, I get a small injection. It's even stored in my liver for up to two months before there is a real problem. And I think that was my problem – that it was a very minor problem. Because of my recent schedule, I found myself postponing the shot two Fridays in a row. Last week, was the beginning of week three. I was dropping off to sleep in mid sentence by Monday. All week long, I'd start badly awake not realizing that I had fallen asleep. I was constantly apologizing to people who were on chats with me for disappearing without replying. I'm not sure if I was believed my excuses in some cases. It took Jon to figure it out by Wednesday that it was likely lack of B-12. I don't sleep very well on at least 3 days out of seven in any given week for no rhyme or reason. I probably wouldn't have connected it to B-12 on my own. The theory proved correct when I was nearly back to normal as soon as I had the shot.
This lapse in judgment about my meds put me even more behind in my obligations at a time when I was having almost an existential crisis about how much I should be trying to get done. All of the kitbitzing that I've been doing in the run up to the book fair has had me questioning whether I should take off my filmmaking hat permanently and focus solely on writing fiction. That was my original dream for many, many years. And now with Indie publish and marketing opportunities, I could make a reasonable amount of money from my work – enough to push Jon and I beyond just getting by. On the other had, Jon and I have sacrificed so much for so long to get the film career off the ground. I had long talks with the Hubs and with Marie and other factions during the week that I was more fully awake. The consensus was that I could keep both jobs with some reorganization of my time and some selfishness about giving up any of it. Given that I start my day when Jon leaves and end it 12 hours or more later, and work seven days a week on creative things, I should be able to keep both hats and make some head way, Thus, I have a schedule of work each week starting with this week. We'll see how it goes in a week or two.
Food Stuff During one of my Sunday calls, my father asked me what it was I was putting up on Facebook that my http://www.marthastewart.com/972476/basic-pastaand tips from the episode http://www.kpbs.org/news/2013/may/03/martha-stewarts-cooking-school-pasta/to roll out strips of pasta into sheets. We let the dough rest for an hour between rollings until it was super thin. Then, Jon cut it. He is far more precise than I am with that kind of thing. We didn't get anywhere near angel hair pasta in thinness nor was it as long, but the texture and taste was great. We're still not sure about buying the attachment yet, but it looks promising. [See Photos below] I've also been having huge successes with desserts and breads as I've been making a lot of them. I've actually begun taking orders for pay! I'm still not sure what to charge, but this is really cool. relatives were going on about. That could be any number of things that would be bad all bad where my 70-something former cop father is concerned. Thankfully, it was all related to the new recipes I'd been trying. Of particular note, was the pasta that Jon and I made a couple of weeks ago. We're trying to figure out if we want to invest in a pasta making attachment for the standing mixer by making pasta on our own. Coincidentally, Martha Stewart and another cooking show we watch were doing hand made pasta. We used her basic recipe

Writing Round-up
My plan is to get the latest Soldiers Book done for Bent-con in November. I would like to have some short stories from the Ensnared universe and Vincent's Cookbook (finally). I also want to have some sample chapters of the Proposal ready for Bent-con as well. I'm also prepping a schedule for next year of an ambitious slate of titles and an intensive marketing campaign. I really think I can make my writing a real source of income in the next year. I'm feeling really positive about that.
Next up-- The blog about the book launch and the Nin-fizz!
Stay tuned!
Pasta in basically the correct order.




More fun sthings:

A Sage Margarita in North Hollywood.
A spa water at home.
Christmas ornaments at Costco in August.
A fraction of my expanding art supplies.
Birdthday buffet a la Deb part one.
Birthday buffet part 2.
Tired chef.
We are now special guests at the Culver Hotel.

Fear and Loathing in the Hollywood Hills

I've begun this blog every day for almost two weeks. I'm not sure why I have such a hard time with it. I'm certainly chatty enough on the phone and I'm moderately witty on Facebook on a routine basis. I think I've been reluctant to blog, because I have to sum up how I feel about what's been happening with my life. I have had trouble doing that without sounding like I'm complaining unduly or I'm really pessimistic. I'm not actually. I realized today that I have very little patience for idiocy of any kind anymore. It's cliché, I suppose, but it's true. After being so close to death, I feel like I should be making the most of the new chance I've been given. I don't have time to waste on anything that isn't going to get me where I want to go or is less than satisfying for me in some fashion. For instance, there are times when I'd rather watch a rerun of Ironside (Perry Mason as a 1970s era police detective in a wheelchair) than deal with people that are a waste of my time. I find watching that show strangely fascinating. In the last few weeks, I've had a few encounters where I have expressed my impatience in no uncertain terms. They've overshadowed how I've felt about what has been a very interesting and potentially momentous few weeks. I can even tell you about most of it.
We now return to the blog that was already in progress.
I look back on the last two weeks with excitement and exhaustion. I've had trouble doing a blog about it, because I still don't know how I feel about it. Let's start with the good stuff. I survived almost a week on shoot that was 12 hours overnight (6pm to 6am) in a 4 story location where use of the steep staircase was mandatory. The whole prospect was frightening. I can have so many issues that can keep me from really getting out of bed on any given day. I still never know when that day will be. But there were many reasons that I very much wanted to work this shoot. The most important reason was to prove to myself that I can do the work in some fashion. I knew that I couldn't run around as I once did, but I could do some things. I was very grateful to the producers to be given the opportunity.
No Place Like This Home
Some of the crew remarked that it would be cool to live in that mansion way up in the Hollywood Hills. I Demonspawn there. Most of the rooms that faced the east had these gigantic electronic black out shades. I could see Simon Molinar totally renting a place with that many large windows as a lark and because no one would think of him renting such a place. I actually had a chat with the very nice young men who were running the location about a short shoot there. That kind of location can really sell the notion of a hero with deep pockets. One scene goes a very long way. Here is the house in all of its glory though there are many rooms not shown. http://www.coldwellbankerpreviews.com/property/280715974Where the sister property is the one I think would be more to Simon's tastes because it has more woods and darker colors. I just see Simon as liking that more. http://www.estately.com/listings/info/6451-weidlake-drive was not among them. It wasn't a house that was built to live in, actually. It made absolutely no sense as a house that one lives in. I later found out that it was built as a location. I mean, even the most vain individual would not have a four station professional make-up room with a pro wardrobe room attached. There were even two private toilets off the make-up room. It was set up for actors. But that's good, because there was a lot for the director to work with. The setting even made me want think about how we could do bits of

I set up in the suite of rooms commandeered for make-up, wardrobe and the green room. (See Pics Below) This suite was on the third floor. That meant that I only had to walk or down one floor to get done anything that I needed to do. My job was to coordinate a campaign on social media to raise awareness amongst Trek fans about Unbelievable!!!!!, a sci-fi spoof starring actors from almost all of the Trek series. I took some photos, but I mostly chose amongst the hundreds of shots being taken by the set photographers. In addition to that, I did some on the spot interviews and some short acting bits to run on the film's Facebook page, blog page and Twitter page. It's a lot of grabbing what I need in between takes or during down time. It's also a lot of monotonous photo sizing and color correcting. It was an easy yet strangely demanding job that was stressful around the edges. And then there was the over night shift. I do not like working hours like that. Despite being a long time night owl and often suffering from insomnia, there is something about having to stay awake all night long that is really grueling.
But Deb, aren't you a gigantic Trek fan, you might ask. Weren't you in a documentary for being a gigantic Star Trek: Voyager. The producer, Brannon Braga, mentioned the stories while being interviewed for the documentary. The stories could have been about anything at all. They just happened to be about characters from a Trek series. And while I am a fangirl, I've also been a filmmaker for a very long time. Actors need space to get ready to work. You interact with them strictly on their terms. This seems especially true of the younger Trek actors. Every one of them was cordial but distant until they figured out that someone identified as a fan was paying no attention to where they were in the room until they needed to communicate with them. That was easy enough for me to do. I had too much to do on location and at home to follow every move of an actor. All of my projects were on going, so I had to keep an eye on them as well as stay on top of things on set. I was actually keeping track of chats on Facebook, Skype and my phone while doing everything else. This is a very funny position for me to be in. I fought having a smart phone up until last year. Now, there is that, the laptop and a Kindle Fire in my life. Very bizarre. The upshot is that after the first day of the shoot, the Trek actors were comfortable enough with me that one was sharing a bedroom with me and I was in the bathroom with three others while they got their make-up done. They talked freely about a surprising array of things around me. It was most pleasing to this fangirl! Trek fan? Yes and yes. But there are caveats to those facts. I was in the documentary because a writing experiment I was working on got put online by a friend and it was discovered by cast members and producers who worked on

The job was fun and interesting and I did what I could to mitigate the physical impact of the job. But that building and that shift kicked my ass. In addition to the hours, I had to commute downtown and meet Ralph for the drive to the location. That meant getting up a couple hours earlier than I would if I were going to a regular job. Add to that, winding down enough to sleep when I don't normally sleep (vodka comes in handy). I never got more than 3 or 4 hours sleep before I was due to start it all over again. Meanwhile, our fridge was dying. That threw a huge monkey wrench into the lunch and dinner situation and stressed me out even more. I really can't function without a working fridge. By the end of the work week (Saturday), I was shell shocked. My eyes were continuously burning. I still had hundreds of photos and a dozen videos to process. We also had enough money to get a new fridge without incurring anymore debt. Sweet! And I survived to fight another day. All the work I did for that film is for naught, but the fact that I was able to do any of it was the more important thing for me. And we found some major locations for the web series. Here's the latest on that: http://demonspawntales.blogspot.com/2013/08/updates-from-hollywood-mansion.html.
Meanwhile, Back at Sybpress
Sybpress has released its latest title, an anthology in tribute to Anais Nin. From the Four Chambered Heart: In Tribute to Anais Nin is our best reviewed and best selling book of poetry, essays and fiction we've had in our history! You can find it on Amazon here: http://tinyurl.com/mgsx4v3. Find out about our super fun book launch in the next blog. I promise that will be only a few days from now!

Now, go and enjoy the photos of our adventures from the last couple of weeks! I'll post more photos and even some video of my adventure next time. And, as always, Stay tuned!







Photos
Me and Nichelle Nichols!!

Maxi now!

Maxi during the Demon Under Glass Shoot.
My desk at the shoot.

Another view of my office at the shoot.

Mansion Kitchen.

My office view from the desk.
Film shoot at the Farmers Market.

Marie's  birthday buffet a la me!
Jon made the chess set out of cardboard and paint.

A croissant/doughnut combo called a cronut. I made it.

Farmers Market Tomatoes.
 

Battles Not Joined - Anime Expo 2013

In the end, I was not allowed to fight any of the battles I had planned to fight at Anime Expo 2013 (AX2013). That wasn't because anyone tried to stop me. No one would dare try to do that. The Hubs was unsure how I could pull off establishing a magazine while picking fights. I had one angle figured out really nicely – I made my beefs part of the interview questions for the first quarry, Crunchyroll.com. I had just joined their subscription service last month when I needed to follow a new anime that this service was simulcasting. I got really irritated to find that they didn't carry Junjou Romantica, one of my favorite yaoi anime. I assumed that they didn't carry yaoi after I tried to find a couple of series on the site. Well, I got steamed at the idea that they didn't run some mild yaoi erotica but were running some terrifying, blood spewing horror and supernatural stuff. Since I had just done an essay about that very type of hypocracy in books, I was ready to take on the entire company over the issue during the interview. Well, the first thing I see is a banner for the spinoff series to Junjou Romantica. While I was getting information on how to set up an interview from the helpful young man at the counter, he had me sign into my account. There I found the spinoff series on the banner. So, no fight there, but I am setting up an interview with a cool company.
The next battle hadn't been planned until I saw the list of vendors. Among them was SmithMicro, creators of
Manga Studio, a comic drawing program I've been experimenting with. Or, I'd been trying to. It's been giving me a devil of a time despite many distress calls to customer service. The last problem was so vexing that I had abandoned it entirely in favor of pencils and inks and manual work. And while I have found that productive and satisfying, I had paid for the program. Well, when I saw they had a booth at AX2013, I thought I'd confront them about this so-called user friendly program and get some answers. Well, the very nice young people at the booth asked me if I had left on the beginners tutorial feature that turned off many of the typical aspects of the program. I had heard that at some point before, so I conceded that may be the problem. They were so nice and earnest, I just had to. Thus, another battle was thwarted.
The last battle was over before I got to say anything. I was thus left to enjoy the convention, make my magazine connections and do my interview. It was a relief, frankly. I hate being openly combative despite owning a whip and other such implements. Those, however, are never used in anger. And what about all of those internet rows I start? They aren't anger fueled. They are more intellectual or philosophical disputes. There is no heat behind them. I was glad that baggage was cleared and cleared quickly. We had a lot of ground to cover – two football fields of ground to cover.
Our mission was three fold. First, take photos of the cosplayers for my Facebook page, Yaoi a GoGo. It has
a weekly feature called Cosplay Friday. Since the cosplayers can turn up anywhere we might be, I had to point out the ones my page fans would be interested in seeing so Jon could snap them. Then, I was recruiting subjects for interviews for upcoming issues of YGG Magazine, the publication from the Facebook page. All of this is to promote my novels and the books I edit. They are a lot of work with the upkeep, luckily, I do enjoy the content quite a bit. Third, was to enjoy the convention with our friend and publishing partner, Marie. She is fluent in many forms of geekiness and really enjoys the weird. There are few that I can think of whose company we enjoy more.
On all accounts, the day was a smashing success. We got to re-connect with some of my favorite writers and publishers. We made introductions with some established and popular publishers we hadn't seen at Anime Expo before. And we found some brand new to the yaoi scene whose work looks amazing. I can't wait to include them in upcoming issues. I really want to read everything they've done. I felt so jazzed by their talent that I was thrilled to be a part of the genre. All of this work was being produced in the US, and it had the same quality of what I was seeing in Japan. It was awesome and lots of fun to interact with. Of course we dropped in on all of the many booths under Digital Manga to say hello to the lovely ladies who supervise our localizing gigs. We usually only see them in a twice monthly web conference. Most of our communication day to day is via email. I think it's always good to occasionally see people in person to forge a good working relationship. We also brought them cookies. Jon and I gave them to most everyone we interacted with. It was inadvertently Japanese of us to give a little gift to the people we either do business with or wish to do business with.
The interview was with a Japanese manga artist named Toshi Maeda who was a special guest of the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toshio_Maeda. He was a fascinating and charming individual that I really enjoyed spending time with. I will save the specifics of the interview for the magazine article. However, I can say that he was very thoughtful about his work and his legacy. He was also very appreciative of the fans of his work. I spent nearly an hour watching him do custom pieces of art for fans while he talked to them about the art of drawing manga. Since I have taken up drawing once again, I was very interested in his techniques. I've even been trying them on some of my sketches.
convention. He also happened to be friends with Brent Millis, a translator on the localizing team and one of my favorite indie publishers. Maeda-sensei is the father of a manga genre called Tentacle Hentai . He was a fascinating and charming individual that I really enjoyed spending time with. I will save the specifics of the interview for the magazine article. However, I can say that he was very thoughtful about his work and his legacy. He was also very appreciative of the fans of his work. I spent nearly an hour watching him do custom pieces of art for fans while he talked to them about the art of drawing manga. Since I have taken up drawing once again, I was very interested in his techniques. I've even been trying them on some of my sketches.
In the midst of all of this, there was a lot of fun to be had. There are two football fields worth of vendor
booths with all kinds of merchandise. This stuff is far more sophisticated than the pins with characters from the shows we like. All manner of crafts are used to make geeky collectibles of all types. And then there are all kinds of combinations of genres or shows. These mashups provided some of the most interesting merchandise at the convention. Luckily, Jon and I didn't have a lot of money to spend on such things, because we also don't have enough room for all this stuff. It was a very pleasant outing. I even made a real Parisian style lunch of a jambon et fromage sandwich on a baguette with some lovely white wine. That gave us a great respite from all that walking (four miles inside the building). A very good and productive time was had by us all!

To see what we saw at AX2013 go to:
 http://dlwarner.blogspot.com/p/blog-page_2814.html
 http://dlwarner.blogspot.com/p/blog-page_10.html
 http://dlwarner.blogspot.com/p/cosplay-at-ax-2013.html

Cancer Graduation and Deb & Jon vs the Summer Blockbuster

No long march to radiology until 2014.The breakfast after being told my test results, not even a second cup of coffee could keep me from nodding off not even an hour after waking up. This was after a deep and peaceful twelve hour sleep. It seems I had a great deal of sleep dept built over the last few weeks. You see, the same creative mind that conjures new civilizations and real people that can live in my head is really good at conjuring the most dire result with the thinnest shreds of evidence. Was I being silly, maybe. I recall a time after the surgery when my blood work was good yet it was decided I should have 12 rounds of chemo as a 'precaution.' I am in no way second guessing my treatment. I'm just saying that indications looked fine before, and I still ended up having ten rounds of chemo before I could go no further.
It should be easy to understand how I could get really wound up in the wake of some abnormalities in the March tests. It wasn't a constant state of anxiety. I barely spared the tests a thought save for how they would impact my schedule in June. It hit me where I was sleeping or where I was supposed to be sleeping. I got wound up subconsciously and spent two weeks or more hardly sleeping. How I was functioning and reasonably polite is a wonder. Not that I was the most efficient at my work as I would have been well rested. I've found that past dinner time, I was fairly useless save for some social networking. The B-12 shots go on but no Oncology appt until Dec.Things were getting done, but it was like walking on eggshells for those weeks.

When the doctor told me that I wouldn't need to test until next year this time, I promptly burst into tears. I had no idea I was that wound up. After the tears came the sleepiness. Immediately afterward. I was zonked out on the train home. Luckily, my stop was the end of the line. Even more lucky was the bus driver knew my stop (it's a very short route and I see this kind soul often). Napping all the way home and all the excitement of being free didn't blunt the sleepy. I was even falling asleep during phone calls. My apologies to anyone that I drifted off on.
The upshot is that I am clear of PMP cancer. My overall health (heart, blood pressure, etc) is very good. I am so grateful to all my family and friends who have helped Jon and me get to this point. I honestly don't know what we would have done without such steadfast support. We feel very fortunate about so many things in our lives. Our hearts are very full. However, there are ongoing problems caused by chemo. I'm still working out my pain management and nerve damage issues through nutrition and exercise. I'm ecstatic about being cancer free, but I am not the same as I was before. I can deal with that. I have support systems in place for everything that I have planned. And there are a lot of exciting things in the works – if only I could stay awake to put the plans in place. Seriously.
I've been fortunate in some things. The editing contracts I have are all done for the moment. I could be hit with another half dozen books any time now. I've only got one short story with a hard deadline on the horizon. Unfortunately, I have a heap of work that I created myself that is absolutely essential for my various projects. This stuff is time consuming and leaves me with little time for my more popular and widely awaited works. This won't be going on for very much longer. But it is very important. Believe me, I wouldn't take on more work when I am so very tired if the work weren't essential. I do hope to be able to talk about some of it soon. My life is weird. I admit that.
Deb & Jon vs The Summer Blockbuster
I shift gears dramatically to talk about a problem the Hubs and I have had with family and friends and the films coming out this summer. It happens every summer, but this summer is especially bad. There have been movies coming out that all indications show that there have been films that we would want to talk about with family and friends. We have been approached with puppy like excitement that pains us to rebuff. But before I go further, let me tell you a little bit about our experiences pitching films. Jon and I write good, solid scripts that get us meetings. We've gotten meetings when there is no logical reason that we should get meetings. But that is not to say that these meetings have been easy on us. Studio types have fragile egos. The idea that nobodies could waltz through their office and into a film deal is something that cannot be tolerated. So, we would be given notes demanding that we explain the links between characters until all suspense was gone or challenging the logic of our universe to the point we wondered why there was ever a meeting. This was often a condescending and demoralizing experience, because, after all, they are studio suits and we are nobodies. After all of that humiliation, we wouldn't get the deal. This does make a body bitter. We know that if we had written material like those of many of these summer blockbusters, we'd be tortured and ridiculed if we were ever seen at all. Yes, we still like sfi-fi and action movies. Iron Man 3 http://youtu.be/Ke1Y3P9D0Bcwas a hoot and a half AND a very smart film. And we can't wait for Pacific Rim http://youtu.be/5guMumPFBag (GIANT ROBOTS!!). We even root for dreadful films, because if the genre falls out of favor we lose our chance to sell our work.
But we don't look at films the way normal viewers do. We generally don't get lost in the snazzy special FX. We're thinking about all the cynicism involved in the deal. We think about how much the suits prefer reboots and retreads to new material. We think about how they prefer to dumb down a script to get the wides audience age range possible. It is discouraging for us and it is also infuriating.

So, no. We are not insulting your intelligence when we rail about how inane the latest blockbuster is. We're not thinking about your reaction at all. We're thinking about those meetings and the scripts not sold in favor of studio hacks with fraternity connections. We are glad that you were excited that there was finally a Star Trek film you thought you could talk to us about. And we do apologize for turning purple and screaming at you. It wasn't personal. How do you talk to us about films? Let us bring it up. If we loved something, we let everyone know it. And for goodness sake, if you've never done it before, don't ask Jon what he thought of that sci-fi film you really enjoyed. He will tell you what he thought, no matter the carnage that causes. I can't tell you how many screenings I've dragged him from to keep him from insulting someone or everyone. The man just can't lie.
The next blog will have project updates!
Stay tuned!