Douglas Adams > Quotes

“it is a well-known fact that those people who most want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“We called ourselves The Reasonably Good Band, but in fact we weren’t. Our intention was to be the Beatles of the early eighties, but we got much better financial and legal advice than the Beatles ever did, which was basically ‘Don’t bother,”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“The major problem—one of the major problems, for there are several—one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them. To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem. And”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“If you’d call it a robot,” muttered Arthur. “It’s more a sort of electronic sulking machine.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“he had a tremendous propensity for getting lost when driving. This was largely because of his method of ‘Zen’ navigation, which was simply to find any car that looked as if it knew where it was going and follow it.”
― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-time of the Soul

“but I always think that the chances of finding out what really is going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say hang the sense of it and just keep yourself occupied.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“And what’s happened to the Earth?”
“Ah. It’s been demolished.”
“Has it,” said Arthur levelly.
“Yes. It just boiled away into space.”
“Look,” said Arthur, “I’m a bit upset about that.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Who better to capitalize on the media market then you yourselves? So long as you can keep disagreeing with each other violently enough and maligning each other in the popular press, and so long as you have clever agents, you can keep yourselves on the gravy train for life.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Eğer bir gün biri çıkıp da Evrenin hangi nedenle ve niçin burada var olduğunu keşfederse, Evrenin birdenbire yok olacağını ve yerini çok daha garip ve anlaşılmaz bir şeyin alacağını öne süren bir kuram vardır.

Bir başka kuramsa bunun zaten gerçekleştiğini ileri sürer.”
― Douglas Adams

“And so the problem remained; lots of the people were mean, and most of them were miserable, even the ones with digital watches.
Many were increasingly of the opinion that they'd all made a big mistake coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that even the tress had been a bad move and that no one should ever have left the oceans.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“So it can come as a shock to realise that the world we hear described by travellers of previous centuries (or even previous decades) and biologists of today really did exist. The state it's in now is only the result of what we've done to it, and the mildness of the disappointment we feel when we arrive somewhere and find that it's a bit tatty is only a measure of how far our own expectations have been degraded and how little we understand what we've lost. The people who do understand what we've lost are the ones who are rushing around in a frenzy trying to save the bits that are left.”
― Douglas Adams, Last Chance to See

“Well, I mean, yes idealism, yes the dignity of pure research, yes the pursuit of truth in all its forms, but there comes a point I’m afraid where you begin to suspect that if there’s any real truth, it’s that the entire multidimensional infinity of the Universe is almost certainly being run by a bunch of maniacs. And if it comes to a choice between spending yet another ten million years finding that out, and on the other hand just taking the money and running, then I for one could do with the exercise,” said Frankie.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Bu robot çok kadim bir demokrasiden geliyor, anlarsın ya ..."
- "Yani demek istediğin, o bir kertenkeleler dünyasından mı geliyor?"
- "Hayır, bu o kadar da basit bir şey değil. Hiçbir şey bu kadar açık değildir. Onun geldiği dünyada, halk halktır. Liderler ise kertenkele. Halk kertenkelelerden nefret eder ve kertenkeleler de halkı yönetirler."
- "Garip, bunun bir demokrasi olduğunu söylememiş miydin?"
- "Öyle dedim. Bir demokrasi."
- "O halde, halk neden kertenkelelerden kurtulmuyor?"
- "Dürüst olmak gerekirse, bu akıllarına gelmiyor. Hepsinin oy hakkı var ve bu yüzden oy verdikleri hükümetin aşağı yukarı istedikleri hükümet olması gerektiğini düşünüyorlar."
- "Yani, halkın kertenkeleler için mi oy verdiğini söylemek istiyorsun?"
- "Şey, evet, elbette."
- "Ama, niçin?"
- "Çünkü eğer bir kertenkeleye oy vermezlerse, yanlış bir kertenkele başa gelebilir.”
― Douglas Adams

“Anything that happens, happens. Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Omnibus: A Trilogy of Five

“One encouraging thing the Guide does have to say on the subject of parallel universes is that you don’t stand the remotest chance of understanding it. You can therefore say “What?” and “Eh?” and even go cross-eyed and start to blither if you like without any fear of making a fool of yourself. The first thing to realize about parallel universes, the Guide says, is that they are not parallel. It is also important to realize that they are not, strictly speaking, universes either, but it is easiest if you don’t try to realize that until a little later, after you’ve realized that everything you’ve realized up to that moment is not true. The reason they are not universes is that any given universe is not actually a thing as such, but is just a way of looking at what is technically known as the WSOGMM, or Whole Sort of General Mish Mash. The Whole Sort of General Mish Mash doesn’t actually exist either, but is just the sum total of all the different ways there would be of looking at it if it did.”
― Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless

“Big, bulbous, ruddy buildings with vast ballrooms, grand, angular staircases, and as many turrets and crenellations as a recreational condom. The”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt

“There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another which states that this has already”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“To give you an idea of the sort of place that Santa Fe is, I could bang on about the desert and the altitude and the light and the silver and turquoise jewelry, but the best thing is just to mention a traffic sign on the freeway from Albuquerque. It says, in large letters, GUSTY WINDS, and in smaller letters MAY EXIST.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

“And now, ladies and gentlemen," he beamed, "is everyone having one last wonderful time?"

"Yes," called out the sort of people who call out "yes" when comedians ask them if they’re having a wonderful time.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“He pointed down into the crater. ‘Is that robot yours?’ he said. ‘No,’ came a thin metallic voice from the crater, ‘I’m mine.’ ‘If you’d call it a robot,’ muttered Arthur. ‘It’s more a sort of electronic sulking machine.’ ‘Bring it,’ said the old man.”
― Douglas Adams, The Complete Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Trilogy of Five

“You’re a jerk,” repeated the alien, “a complete kneebiter.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“I can only think that the business with the apple must have upset him more than I realised.”
― Douglas Adams, Last Chance to See

“You’re really not going to like it,” observed Deep Thought. “Tell us!” “All right,” said Deep Thought. “The Answer to the Great Question …” “Yes …!” “Of Life, the Universe and Everything …” said Deep Thought. “Yes …!” “Is …” said Deep Thought, and paused. “Yes …!” “Is …” “Yes …!!! …?” “Forty-two,” said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Aynen öyle," dedi Zaphod, pek çok insanı yumuşak duvarlı bir odaya kilitletecek türden bir sırıtışla.”
― Douglas Adams

“A new generation of Sirius Cybernetics Corporation robots and computers, with the new GPP feature.’” “GPP feature?” said Arthur. “What’s that?” “Oh, it says Genuine People Personalities.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“What did she say?” “She hit me on the head with the rock again.” “I think I can confirm that that was my daughter.” “Sweet kid.” “You have to get to know her,” said Arthur. “She eases up, does she?” “No,” said Arthur, “but you get a better sense of when to duck.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“You’re very strange,” she said. “No, I’m very ordinary,” said Arthur, “but some very strange things have happened to me. You could say I’m more differed from than differing.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Of course, the computer isn’t any of these things. These are all things we were previously familiar with from the real world, which we have modelled in the computer so that we can use the damn thing. Which should tell us something interesting. The computer is actually a modelling device.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

“What? Excuse me? “La, a note to follow so . . .” What kind of lame excuse for a line is that? Well, it’s obvious what kind of line it is. It’s a placeholder.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

“He struck most of the friends he had made on Earth as an eccentric, but a harmless one—an unruly boozer with some oddish habits. For instance, he would often gate-crash university parties, get badly drunk and start making fun of any astrophysicists he could find till he got thrown out.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy