Douglas Adams > Quotes

“Belgium,” said the girl, “I hardly like to say it.” “Belgium?” exclaimed Arthur. A drunken seven-toed sloth staggered past, gawked at the word and threw itself backward at a blurry-eyed pterodactyl, roaring with displeasure. “Are we talking,” said Arthur, “about the very flat country, with all the EEC and the fog?” “What?” said the girl. “Belgium,” said Arthur. “Raaaaaarrrchchchchch!” screeched the pterodactyl. “Grrruuuuuurrrghhhh,” agreed the seven-toed sloth. “They must be thinking of Ostend Hoverport,” muttered Arthur. He turned back to the girl. “Have you ever been to Belgium in fact?” he asked brightly and she nearly hit him. “I think,” she said, restraining herself, “that you should restrict that sort of remark to something artistic.” “You sound as if I just said something unspeakably rude.” “You did.” In today’s modern Galaxy there is of course very little still held to be unspeakable. Many words and expressions which only a matter of decades ago were considered so distastefully explicit that, were they merely to be breathed in public, the perpetrator would be shunned, barred from polite society, and in extreme cases shot through the lungs, are now thought to be very healthy and proper, and their use in everyday speech and writing is seen as evidence of a well-adjusted, relaxed and totally un****ed-up personality. So, for instance, when in a recent national speech the Financial Minister of the Royal World Estate of Quarlvista actually dared to say that due to one thing and another and the fact that no one had made any food for a while and the king seemed to have died and most of the population had been on holiday now for over three years, the economy was now in what he called “one whole joojooflop situation,” everyone was so pleased that he felt able to come out and say it that they quite failed to note that their entire five-thousand-year-old civilization had just collapsed overnight. But even though words like “joojooflop,” “swut,” and “turlingdrome” are now perfectly acceptable in common usage there is one word that is still beyond the pale. The concept it embodies is so revolting that the publication or broadcast of the word is utterly forbidden in all parts of the Galaxy except for use in Serious Screenplays. There is also, or was, one planet where they didn’t know what it meant, the stupid turlingdromes. —”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“I'm just this guy, y'know”
― Douglas Adams

“Anyone who can go through Hyde Park on a summer’s evening and not feel moved by it is probably going through in an ambulance with the sheet pulled over their face.”
― Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

“We find our images of what we call evil in things outside ourselves, in creatures that know nothing of such matters, so that we can feel revolted by them, and, by contrast, good about ourselves.”
― Douglas Adams, Last Chance to See

“you’ve had plenty of time to lodge any formal complaint and it’s far too late to start making a fuss about it now.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“The Restaurant at the End of the Universe is one of the most extraordinary ventures in the entire history of catering. It has been built on the fragmented remains of…it will be built on the fragmented…that is to say it will have been built by this time, and indeed has been—”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Unfortunately this Electric Monk had developed a fault, and had started to believe all kinds of things, more or less at random. It was even beginning to believe things they’d have difficulty believing in Salt Lake City. It”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency Box Set: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency and The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

“But the reason I call myself by my childhood name is to remind myself that a scientist must also be absolutely like a child. If he sees a thing, he must say that he sees it, whether it was what he thought he was going to see or not. See first, think later, then test. But always see first. Otherwise you will only see what you were expecting. Most scientists forget that.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“—...según un cálculo aproximado, soy treinta billones de veces más inteligente que tú. Déjame ponerte un ejemplo. Piensa un número, cualquiera.
—Humm, el cinco —dijo el colchón.
—Incorrecto —repuso Marvin—. ¿Lo ves?
El colchón quedó muy impresionado y comprendió que se hallaba en presencia de un intelecto nada desdeñable”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

“Ford!” he said, “there’s an infinite number of monkeys outside who want to talk to us about this script for Hamlet they’ve worked out.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Böylece tarihin pek çok bölümü artık tamamen ortadan kalkmış oluyordu. Gerçek Zaman Seferberliğine katılanların savına göre, yolculuk yapmak nasıl ülkeler ve dünyalar arasındaki farklılıkları kolayca ortadan kaldırıyorsa, zaman yolculuğu da bir çağla diğeri arasındaki farklılıkları ortadan kaldırıyordu. 'Geçmiş,' diyorlardı, 'artık gerçekten de yabancı bir ülkeden farksız. Orada da işler aynı buradaki gibi yürüyor.”
― Douglas Adams, Otostopçu'nun Galaksi Rehberi

“That’s right!” agreed Majikthise. “You’ll have a national Philosophers’ strike on your hands!” The”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Üzüntü ve şaşkınlık içinde başını salladığını duyabiliyorum. Ama endişelenme. Her şey hoş bir şekilde zıvanadan çıkıyor.”
― Douglas Adams, Three book set, includes The Salmon of Doubt, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency, and The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

“he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, washcloth, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet-weather gear, space suit etc., etc.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“... nearly forcing him into the path of a cyclist, who cursed and swore at him from a moral high ground that cyclists alone seem able to inhabit.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently: The Long Dark Tea-Time Of The Soul: A BBC Radio Full-Cast Dramatization

“Because … because … I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn’t be able to look for them.” “What, are you crazy?” “It’s a possibility I haven’t ruled out yet,” said Zaphod quietly. “I only know as much about myself as my mind can work out under its current conditions. And its current conditions are not good.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Fuori della porta si sentivano chiaramente dei passi pesanti. – I dentrassi? – sussurrò Arthur. – No, questi sono stivali dalla punta d’acciaio – disse Ford. Si sentì bussare con prepotenza alla porta. – E allora chi è? – disse Arthur – Be’ – disse Ford – se siamo fortunati sono solo i vogon che vengono a prenderci per buttarci nello spazio. – E se siamo sfortunati? – Se siamo sfortunati – disse cupo Ford – il comandante potrebbe avere fatto le sue minacce seriamente, e avere intenzione di leggerci prima qualcuna delle sue poesie…”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Then he had thought about what his position actually was and the renewed shock had nearly made him spill his drink. He drained it quickly before anything serious happened to it. He then had another quick one to follow the first one down and check that it was all right.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Shee, you guys are so unhip it’s a wonder your bums don’t fall off.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“Zark off.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Los Angeles, which is described in the new edition of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy in one entry as “junky, wunky, lunky, stunky, and what’s that other word, and all kinds of bad stuff, woo,”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“And Mrs Roberts? How is she? Foot still troubling her?”

“Not since she had it off, thanks for asking, sir. Between you and me, sir, I would’ve been just as happy to have had her amputated and kept the foot. I had a little spot reserved on the mantelpiece, but there we are, we have to take things as we find them.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“His first theory was that if human beings didn’t keep exercising their lips, their mouths probably shriveled up. After a few months of observation he had come up with a second theory, which was this—“If human beings don’t keep exercising their lips, their brains start working.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“For the next two weeks I took up playing in the traffic, being careless with kitchen knives, and neglecting to stand clear of the doors on station platforms, but, sadly, I led a charmed life, and I had to go through with it: four weeks of the greatest humiliation and embarrassment known to man or, rather, to that most easily humiliated and embarrassed of all creatures, the overgrown twelve-year-old boy.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

“Едно от най-големите затруднения, които Трилиън срещаше при взаимоотношенията си със Зейфод, идваше от това, че все още не се бе научила да познава кога се прави на глупак просто за да приспи вниманието на хората, кога се прави на глупак, защото го мързи да мисли и иска някой друг да върши това вместо него, кога се прави на ужасен глупак, за да скрие факта, че всъщност нищо не разбира, и кога е наистина един неподправен глупак.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Encyclopedia Galáctica has to say about alcohol. It says that alcohol is a colorless volatile liquid formed by the fermentation of sugars and also notes its intoxicating effect on certain carbon-based life forms. The Hitchhiker’s”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“But she was finding it increasingly easy to believe that God, if there was a God, and if it was remotely possible that any godlike being who could order the disposition of particles at the creation of the Universe would also be interested in directing traffic on the M4, did not want her to fly to Norway either.”
― Douglas Adams

“A thin whine filled the air. It whirled and howled through the trees, upsetting the squirrels. A few birds flew off in disgust. The noise danced and skittered round the clearing. It whooped, it rasped, it generally offended. The Captain, however, regarded the lone bagpiper with an indulgent eye.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Sen nasıl-'
'Sana söyleyemem.'
'Niçin? Bütün bu yolu bunun için geldim.'
'Sen benim gördüğümü göremezsin, çünkü kendi gördüğünü görüyorsun. Benim bildiğimi bilemezsin, çünkü kendi bildiklerini biliyorsun. Benim gördüklerim ve bildiklerim senin gördüklerin ve bildiklerine eklenemez, çünkü aynı cinsten şeyler değiller. Ne de senin gördüklerin ve bildiklerinle değiştirilebilir, çünkü bu senin kendini değiştirmen anlamına gelecektir.”
― Douglas Adams, Otostopçu'nun Galaksi Rehberi

“Shall I leave the window open or would you like to try the door?” she said with a sniff.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency