Douglas Adams > Quotes

“*If the snake people don't vote, the wrong lizard will get in!*”
― Douglas Adams

“The practical upshot of all this is that if you stick a Babel fish in your ear you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language. The speech patterns you actually hear decode the brainwave matrix which has been fed into your mind by your Babel fish. “Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind-bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the nonexistence of God.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Things hit a limit, though, when I was set upon by a pickpocket in a baker's shop. I didn't notice that I was being set upon by a pickpocket, which I am glad of, because I like to work only with professionals.”
― Douglas Adams, Last Chance to See

“I shall sit alone in a darkened room, sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything but a little grey old head, and in that little grey old head a peculiar vision of hideous blue and gold dangling things flashing in the light, and the smell of sweat, cat food and death.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“So I reckon, what’s so secret that I can’t let anybody know I know it, not the Galactic Government, not even myself? And the answer is I don’t know. Obviously. But I put a few things together and I can begin to guess. When did I decide to run for President? Shortly after the death of President Yooden Vranx.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Acontecimientos importantes de la Historia de la Galaxia, II:
Desde los orígenes de esta Galaxia, grandes civilizaciones han surgido y desaparecido y muerto tan a menudo que resulta profundamente tentador pensar que la vida en ella debe ser
a) algo así como un mareo, un vértigo en el espacio, en el tiempo, en la historia o cosa parecida, y
b) estúpida.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

“The scientists chaps had been very insistent that everything was going to be perfectly all right providing nobody panicked and everybody got on and did their bit in an orderly fashion.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“The theology of this seemed a little confused, reflected Dirk, but what was one tiny extra droplet of misinformation in such a raging torrent?”
― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

“The thing that used to worry him most was the fact that people always used to ask him what he was looking so worried”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“You cannot see what I see because you see what you see. You cannot know what I know becasue you know what you know. What I see and what I know cannot be added to what you see and what you know because they are not of the same kind. Neither can it replace what you see and what you know, because that would be to replace you yourself.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Very strange people, physicists,” he said as soon as they were outside again. “In my experience the ones who aren’t actually dead are in some way very ill.”
― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-time of the Soul

“It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on Earth has ever produced the phrase, 'as pretty as an airport.' Airports are ugly. Some are very ugly. Some attain a degree of ugliness that can only be the result of a special effort.”
― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

“And since this is not a naturally tenable position for a whale, this poor innocent creature had very little time to come to terms with its identity as a whale before it then had to come to terms with not being a whale any more.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“It is said that there is nothing surprising about the notion of, for instance, a person suddenly thinking about someone they haven’t thought about for years, and then discovering the next day that the person has in fact just died.”
― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-time of the Soul

“it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Many words and expressions which only a matter of decades ago were considered so distastefully explicit that, were they merely to be breathed in public, the perpetrator would be shunned, barred from polite society, and in some extreme cases shot through the lungs, are now thought to be very healthy and proper, and their use in everyday speech and writing is seen as evidence of a well-adjusted, relaxed and totally un****ed-up personality”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

“Perhaps I’m old and tired,’ he continued, ‘but I always think that the chances of finding out what really is going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say hang the sense of it and just keep yourself occupied.”
― Douglas Adams, The Complete Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Trilogy of Five

“What I lost, I think, was a whole other life.” “Everybody does that. Every moment of every day. Every single decision we make, every breath we draw, opens some doors and closes many others. Most of them we don’t notice. Some we do. Sounds like you noticed one.”
― Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless

“He suddenly remembered the tape he had taken from Susan’s answering machine, and hoped to God there wasn’t anything more important in Gordon’s message than ravings about rabbits.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“It’s difficult to say exactly what the people on the surface of the planet were doing now, because they didn’t really know what they were doing themselves. None of it made a lot of sense— running into houses, running out of houses, howling noiselessly at the noise. All around the world city streets exploded with people, cars skidded into each other as the noise fell on them and then rolled off like a tidal wave over hills and valleys, deserts and oceans, seeming to flatten everything it hit.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“I always think that the chances of finding out what really is going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say hang the sense of it and just keep yourself occupied.”
― Douglas Adams

“Arthur checked himself into a small motel on the outskirts of town, and sat glumly on the bed, which was damp, and flipped through the little information brochure, which was also damp. It said that the planet of NowWhat had been named after the opening words of the first settlers to arrive there after struggling across light years of space to reach the furthest unexplored outreaches of the Galaxy. The main town was called OhWell.”
― Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless

“The whole business with the cheese and the squeaking is just a front.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Vogonci. Ne bi ni prstom makli čak ni da spase vlastitu baku od prožrdljive bubozdrobne zvijeri s Traaala bez naređenja u tri primjerka, preporučeno poslanih s povratnicom, poslanih natrag, traženih, izgubljenih, pronađenih, podnesenih na javnu raspravu, ponovno izgubljenih i konačno pokopanih u mekom močvarnom tlu i recikliranih kao upaljač. ”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“The point is, you see,” said Ford, “that there is no point in driving yourself mad trying to stop yourself going mad. You might just as well give in and save your sanity for later.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

“Bistromathics is simply a revolutionary new way of understanding the behaviour of numbers. Just as Einstein observed that time was not an absolute and depended on the observer’s movement in space... so it is now realized that numbers are not absolute, but depend on the observer’s movement in restaurants.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

“Thus the planet Vogsphere whiled away the unhappy millennia until the Vogons suddenly discovered the principles of interstellar travel. Within a few short Vog years every last Vogon had migrated to the Megabrantis cluster, the political hub of the Galaxy, and now formed the immensely powerful backbone of the Galactic Civil Service. They have attempted to acquire learning, they have attempted to acquire style and social graces, but in most respects the modern Vogon is little different from his primitive forebears.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Resumo dos últimos capítulos:
No início, o Universo foi criado. Isso irritou profundamente muitas pessoas e, no geral, foi encarado como uma péssima ideia.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the end of the universe

“When I hear Mozart, I understand what it is to be a human being; when I hear Beethoven, I understand what it is to be Beethoven; but when I hear Bach, understand what it is to be the Universe.”
― Douglas Adams