Ask the Author: Arthur Graham

“Ask me a question.” Arthur Graham

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Arthur Graham Whenever I write about anyone (myself included), the best I can ever do is just try to be fair. You read a lot of poetry by men and women that makes it clear they're just as petty, bitter, and vindictive as the people they're complaining about, but a little empathy and self-reflection can go a long way toward transcending this hypocrisy, producing an ultimately more honest poem instead.
Arthur Graham 1) Contrary to popular belief, I do have SOME standards
2) Something to do with supply and demand
3) Pretty much knee-deep in it already
Arthur Graham GR insurgents provide smart-alecky answers to official GR inquiries. Amazon deploys drone-fired missiles against GR insurgents.
Arthur Graham Obviously I would travel into my own books, where I would then proceed to do everything in my power to fuck them up the same way I've fucked up my own life.
Arthur Graham I too want from it and always lost me out of reading and writing festivities. I'm coming from a perspective of party in front, business in back, of course with ugly old lady balloons instead. It's a tightly controlled realm, always poofy, always net, always sedimentary, always shallowly banal.
Arthur Graham Depends whether I've got my pants half on or whole on.
Arthur Graham Yes and yes. All writers are narcissistic, megalomaniac sociopaths, and any love they express for their readers is ultimately just another form of self worship, which evaporates just as quickly as their bogus, hollow five-star reviews.
Arthur Graham Of all da MEAN MEN
dats been mean to me,
der neva been a
MEANER MAN
dan CoolieC.
He won't go away
anytime today,
cuz der always
seems ta be
somethin' more
he need ta say.
WooLi, PruceC,
ConwayT, DeleteP,
or perhaps
you know dis
MEANEST MAN
as EdwardD!
Arthur Graham Yes, obviously, my biggest influence is Moby Dick.
Arthur Graham Summer reading lists are for those who make a big stinkin' whoopty-do over their seasonal reading shit.
Arthur Graham Unfortunately, there is no known remedy for the cracker-ass honky blues, at least not for those of us born with KING1, the so-called "Elvis-hair" gene. Thus we are doomed to a life of whiskey drinking, whoring around, wearing snakeskin, and, most importantly, cracker-assing. And honkying. And bluesing, as it were.
Arthur Graham The only mystery to me is why Goodreads insists on asking such banal, stupid questions.
Arthur Graham Well, obviously, I'd have to fuck Morrissey circa Your Arsenal, but seeing as how Morrissey is getting all old and frumpy these days, and I don't even want to BEGIN trying to figure out the mechanics of fucking a cockroach, I guess I'd fuck you and stomp that fuckin' cockroach to death. Done. Ideally, I'd marry you, but seeing as how you're already married, I'd have to fuck old Morrissey, marry the cockroach (you can do that now thanks to the Gays), and kill your ass instead. Sorry, brah.
Arthur Graham I don't know; why should I care? Life is pain and suffering.
Arthur Graham Jeff, as much as I'd love to flood your feed with full-frontal, uncensored images of my bing-bong, taint, and "flabby habby babby", unfortunately this goes against the GR terms of service. Maybe I should set up some kind of webcam thing instead? Would probably make more money doing that than selling books...
Arthur Graham My dentist IS a handsome, charming man, but everyone knows that Liquid Tide is only good for making homemade bombs. HAIL SATAN.

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