Woven Quotes

“The issue is when adults tell kids exactly what fruit should look like in their lives instead of helping them get to know the Spirit who grows the fruit. It’s when we fail to recognize that fruit can be faked by a kid, especially if they fear the disapproval of a loved one.”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From

“We have gods called “good education,” “retirement plan,” “personal network,” and “health.” Any of these, and more, can be an idol when they complete this sentence: Whatever happens, it will all be okay because… We all have our own reasons that it’ll all be okay: • because of how much I have in the bank, my home equity, my retirement accounts. I can rely on that. I’ve made responsible decisions, and as long as I keep doing that, everything will be fine. • because the right people are in charge of our country, making the right decisions, appointing the right officials. • because I’m a good person, and so surely good things will come my way too. • because at least I have my family, and they will continue to give me meaning and purpose as I go through my days, even if other things don’t go the way I want. • because I am a hard worker, I’m self-sufficient, and I can take care of myself and those around me no matter what. • because I plan ahead and won’t be caught off guard.”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From

“The way forward from my complicated relationship with happy was not to force myself to see spiritual activities as fun, but to help myself see that fun activities are spiritual. I wasn’t giving God credit for the warmth of a belly laugh, the way a memory of a funny story could bring a smile well after it was told, or how our own chests swell whenever we are part of joy’s expansion to another person.”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From

“Trust is always the precursor to obedience. The people’s obedience is not the first course of action they take, but rather a responsive action based on their determination that yes, indeed, Yahweh God of Israel can be trusted. Yes, obedience is talked about a lot in the Bible, but obedience is not our goal, because, ultimately, it is not God’s goal. Trust is.”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From

“Yes, obedience is talked about a lot in the Bible, but obedience is not our goal, because, ultimately, it is not God’s goal. Trust is.”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From

“Trust is always the precursor to obedience.”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From

“When I say that your family needs to weave your own web, this is how you get there. It’s intentional and ordinary. It’s spiritual and also simple. Such is the power of weaving your own web. You get to partner with the Holy Spirit to craft a way of living life that is joyful, sustainable, and anchored to the character of God. Instead of trying to shove your family into a box, you let your web take on the unique shape and structure it needs to help you all know and trust God more and more. All the while, it feels like you, the way that weaving is ordinary for the spider. And ordinary is enough.”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From

“After you narrow, it’s time to try them out. Begin by picking a time to try them. As you think about time, consider frequency, time of day, and duration. • Frequency: Does this practice make the most sense if it happens daily, weekly, monthly, or even annually? • Is it okay for this practice to happen when we feel like it? Or should it be a commitment we stick to? • Time of day: When do we all (kids and adults alike) have the best energy for this particular practice? For instance, your kids may have a bedtime energy that just doesn’t match the beautiful, calm worship playlist you’d like to have on. • Duration: Do we have any practices we find helpful, but we need to adjust how often we do them or how long they last?”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From

“The next criteria is fit. How does this practice fit with your real family? You might ask yourself, and talk with your partner about: • Does this idea fit who we are—our family’s personality, culture, and overall vibe? • Does it fit this season of our life together, or would it possibly be better in another season? • Does this practice stretch us, but in a good way? • Are we doing this because I think we “should”? • Do my kids seem to enjoy or resist this practice? The key is to move from the long list of options to just two or three things to start with. There is always time to add more later on, but too much at once will be overwhelming. You’re creating a sustainable rhythm, not doing Extreme Home Makeover: Faith Edition.”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From

“Once you’ve come up with a variety of options, it’s time for step two: Narrow to just a few practices. The first criteria for narrowing is anchors. How does this practice help you, your child, and your family collectively anchor to who God is? You might ask: • Why are we doing this practice? • What do I hope this practice forms in us over time? • Do I feel clear about the connection between this idea and one or more aspects of God’s character? If not, could I adjust the practice to strengthen that connection?”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From

“Use the flow of the day as your jumping-off point: ○ Mornings: How do we start our day connected to God? ○ Car time: What makes space for questions and conversations as we drive? ○ Off to school or play: What words send my child out into the world? ○ Welcoming home: How do we transition to home or into our evening? ○ Meals: Are there meal traditions that can support our faith? ○ Bedtime: How do we close our day connected to God?”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From

“name your options. This is a brain dump and you could do it several ways; there isn’t a right or wrong approach. For instance: • Take the ideas that have resonated with you or that you’ve generated yourself as you’ve read this book and bring them all together in one list. • Personalize the list of God’s attributes that you’d most like to focus upon as anchors. They may come from the previous chapters, or you could add in ones that are personally significant for you or your child. After naming those attributes, parallel the process from part 2: What Bible stories highlight the attribute that you could explore? What experiences, traditions, or rituals might help your kid anchor to it? • Ideate by the type of faith practices.”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From

“How do you start spinning your family’s web of faith? Name. Narrow. Try. Tinker.”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From

“What I believe, not what we believe. Describe the ways you disagree, the differences in theological understanding, or the distinctions between another worldview and your own as just that: your own. Adults sometimes say to kids, “This person or group believes X, but we believe Y.” However, your child is growing into what they believe. What’s more, your child’s love for you can make them feel pressured to align with you, and shut down the curious conversation that actually helps them determine their own views. Instead you can say, “I believe Y is true because… and I’m so glad you asked about this, because I’m here to help you figure out if Y is true too. What other questions do you have right now?” • Important history. Has this tradition or group been the subject of discrimination or violence historically, especially at the hands of politically or culturally powerful Christians? Share this information with them, so they understand why care and respect are so critical. This might sound like, “We always want to treat people kindly, of course. But it’s also important that you know that [group] has been treated especially poorly in the past. Sometimes when people feel sure they are right, they think that makes it okay to be mean to folks they’re ‘sure’ are wrong. This has been especially true when a group feels sure they are right and they have a lot of power. But even when we hold very different views, it’s important that everyone be safe, and for us to be part of not just kindness, but protection for all people.”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From

“Simply put, an idol is more than a figurine carved out of wood or cast out of metal; it is whomever or whatever I trust to protect and provide for me.”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From

“• If school is difficult, you could pray a set prayer right before they go in that says, “God, as kiddo is in school today, help them know You are near and You care.” • If a sibling relationship is rocky, your child could pray a set prayer for the relationship like, “God, I don’t always get along with [sibling]. You are patient and slow to get mad. Help me practice that, too, and when I’m not, thanks for helping us mend things and try again.” • If your child has a stumper of a faith question that won’t be answered easily, you could have a set prayer about that very thing. In fact, this is what we did after that car conversation about proof. At bedtime, we had a set prayer of “God, Riley is having a hard time trusting that You’re here when You can’t be seen, touched, or heard like he hears me now. Would You help him know that’s okay, and would You help him get to know You as he grows?”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From

“Predetermined prayers work much like that trail, I find. They don’t need to be fancy or crafted, but having them there at the ready can help us find our way to God’s presence. This is especially true in times of hardship. We don’t always remember that kids experience times of hardship (unless they, sadly, have gone through a particular trauma in life). But, as with adults, children have challenging seasons when they don’t know how to pray. During periods of sadness or confusion, we can introduce a ritual of praying one set prayer that can serve as a path to God’s presence.”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From

“What fascinates me about the app, in particular, is its ability to hear a bird in my yard, which also has constant white noise from the freeway, the intermittent revving of engines (it’s recently popular in my area to remove mufflers, so that’s fun), and the regular passing by of planes from our nearby airport. Engine after engine roars around my house, and yet I tap “sound ID” and the app tunes in to just the songs of the birds, hiding in plain sight in the branches nearby. Anchoring to a God who is with us is about finding the spiritual equivalent of Merlin Bird ID. It’s about the practices, habits, or rhythms that help us notice the music of God’s nearness amid the din of daily life. Like the birds in my yard, God is always there, and yet without tuning myself in to God’s presence, I’m liable to go long stretches not hearing the song of love that’s calling to me. How”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From

“SPIRAL THE ATTRIBUTE In addition to the story of the wedding at Cana, here are some ideas for spiraling back to God’s joy in other parts of the Bible: • Festivals: As God’s people are being reformed, after the exodus, through the law, God tells them to host multiple festivals during the year. These feasts would be community-wide parties that included everyone and anchored the people to God’s joy, abundance, and grace toward them as they retold stories of who God had been for them. • Jesus’ lost-and-found parables point to God’s particular joy when people come back home to God. Bringing them home again is not a project God resents, groveling at the lost state of humanity. It’s a purpose God devotes Themself to and delights in its realization. • If learning Bible verses is part of your family’s web, consider including verses like Nehemiah 8:10: “The joy of [Yahweh] is your strength” (NASB); or Zephaniah 3:17: “For the LORD your God is living among you. [God] is a mighty savior. [God] will take delight in you with gladness. With [Their] love, [God] will calm all your fears. [God] will rejoice over you with joyful songs” (NLT).”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From

“and on. Anytime Jesus does a miracle, we should ask: Why? What does this miracle help us see about who God is or what God is doing in the world? If Jesus turned water into wine at this wedding, what does that tell us about what God is like? It shows us that God is a joyful God, and the community of God should be joyful, a place of more-than-enoughness.”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From

“As we look out at the golf course of our faith, similarly, there are two hazards we might see between us and our goal, joy. First is the trap of idolizing happiness, such that it, not following Jesus, becomes the point of religion. This takes us back to the element of moralistic therapeutic deism; believing that the purpose of religiosity is personal comfort or ease. There is an underlying selfishness to this trap, whereas God’s goal is joy for all. Paradoxically, pursuing only personal happiness often means we are not a joyful people. I can’t pursue happiness that is just for me and not something we all enjoy. If the first trap idolizes happiness, the second reacts against it. This is the trap of despondency, when we look at the injustice and suffering of the world and think that joy is inappropriate for those who care about such things. In light of the world’s pain, how could a person celebrate?”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From

“Our problem is not that joy distracts us from something more spiritual, but rather that we have narrowed what counts as spiritual to obedience and sacrificed joy in the process.”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From

“On a car ride the day after the field trip I asked Riley a question. It’s one we return to often as we try to help our kids understand something as layered and complex as injustice. The question is a ritual of ours, one your family can adopt as well. It moves with us as we talk about the California missions, or our school, or our neighborhood, or our church. We simply ask: Whose story is being told, and whose is missing?”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From

“Category Prayers Start here: Give your child a category to pray for and take turns naming something that fits in. You might say, “Let’s take turns thanking God for things in nature! I’ll name something, then you name something, and we’ll see how many we can think of.” When the list winds down, offer a simple closing, “God, You’ve made an amazing world. Thank You! Amen.”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From

“Art as Prayer Prayers don’t need to be verbal to be authentic. Why not grab paper and colors, or sidewalk chalk, put on some music, and draw a prayer? You could give a prompt for the picture, such as: • Let’s draw the people we want to pray for today. • Let’s draw a time we felt sad or scared and ask God to help us if something similar happens again. • Let’s draw something we love to do and thank God for”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From

“Prayer Postures • Reach up: What is something we love about God? • Reach out: What is something happening in our world that we want God to help with? • Hold hands: Who is someone we know that we want to pray for? • Hands to heart: What do you want to say to God or ask God about today?”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From

“• Inhale: You are with me. Exhale: I am not alone. • Inhale: I am your child. Exhale: I am always loved. • Inhale: You love me. Exhale: No matter what.”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From

“As you help your child practice connecting to God through prayer, use images that focus on cultivating a relationship. When prayer is presented as growing a friendship and enjoying time together, that allows a kid to still talk about the things they and others need without reducing prayer to a mechanism by which you access fix-it power.”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From

“Everything in prayer depends on who you think you’re praying to. It’s like a three-legged stool. There is God’s power: Can God do what is best? God’s wisdom: Does God really know what is best? And God’s love: Does God care? Does God really want what is best?”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From

“Every now and then, as we welcome the morning this way, my husband or I will say, “God could have chosen to start the day any way They wanted to. Isn’t it great that God chose the most beautiful option?”
― Meredith Miller, Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From