Failure Mode Quotes

“This is Captain Uhtavio Scorandum of the Ethics and Compliance Office ship We Don’t Want to Brag About That Thing You Can’t Prove We Did.”
― Craig Alanson, Failure Mode

“They rode into battle anyway as the poem described, “Theirs not to reason why, theirs just to do and die. Into the valley of Death rode the six hundred”.”
― Craig Alanson, Failure Mode

“Part of me felt disappointed. I wanted to drag that part of myself into a dark alley and beat it with a baseball bat.”
― Craig Alanson, Failure Mode

“Come on, Joe. As if that’s ever gonna happen. If you ever did something awesome, you’re telling me you wouldn’t brag about it?” “Not if it compromised operational security!” “Compromised op- When did you start talking like a PowerPoint slide?”
― Craig Alanson, Failure Mode

“I can’t argue with what. Between you and me, I am particularly proud of this triumph. I beat a freakin’ Elder AI. It had a fully functional Elder starship, and I had a barrel of monkeys.”
― Craig Alanson, Failure Mode

“As usual, artificial gravity was far down on the priority list, behind vital systems like the coffee machine in the galley. The main display came”
― Craig Alanson, Failure Mode

“If this is heaven,” Reed said with a shudder. “I am very disappointed.”
― Craig Alanson, Failure Mode

“Kinsta, I am not surprised the humans have become isolationist and believe they don’t need help from any other species. Did you know they have an annual beauty pageant for females, that they call the ‘Miss Universe’ contest?”
― Craig Alanson, Failure Mode

“Have you ever been doing something difficult, and it’s not going well, and some jerk who knows absolutely nothing about the subject asks ‘why can’t you just’? Yeah. Don’t be that person.”
― Craig Alanson, Failure Mode

“Like I said, it was inconceivable that the stupid things could be any danger, so maybe that word doesn’t mean what I think it means.”
― Craig Alanson, Failure Mode

“Most revolutionary literature is insufferably boring, so I just listened to a Linkin Park song about the subject.”
― Craig Alanson, Failure Mode

“G-General?” His right hand grasped my forearm, and I wrapped a hand around his. “Who dares,” he gasped. “Wins?” “You dared. You won. You won,” I assured him. He slowly blinked at me, the ghost of a smile stretching his lips. His eye closed. The hand went limp. After a long moment, Skippy whispered in my ear. “Joe. He’s gone.”
― Craig Alanson, Failure Mode