Tell Me Everything Quotes

“Many of us put off dealing with our negative childhood programming until well into our forties and fifties. These issues come politely knocking at our door in our twenties, then rap louder in our thirties. If you delay looking at your programming until your forties, you are likely to have the message delivered with sledgehammer blows.”
― Minka Kelly, Tell Me Everything: A Memoir

“Family pathology rolls from generation to generation like a fire in the woods taking down everything in its path until one person, in one generation, has the courage to turn and face the flames. That person brings peace to his ancestors and spares the children that follow. —TERRY REAL”
― Minka Kelly, Tell Me Everything: A Memoir

“I now know that a kid’s calibration for what’s normal is determined by whatever she grows up with. If your dad’s a drug dealer and your mom works in the sex industry, that’s just your regular life. For”
― Minka Kelly, Tell Me Everything: A Memoir

“If you behave as if you need no one, if no one around you knows any better, most certainly no one, in fact, will be there.”
― Minka Kelly, Tell Me Everything

“Many of us put off dealing with our negative childhood programming until well into our forties and fifties. These issues come politely knocking at our door in our twenties, then rap louder in our thirties. If you delay looking at your programming until your forties, you are likely to have the message delivered with sledgehammer blows. —GAY HENDRICKS AND KATHLYN HENDRICKS”
― Minka Kelly, Tell Me Everything: A Memoir

“Children whose emotional needs are not met by their parents end up blaming themselves. It’s the root of shame, a sense of wrongness that can be so hard to shake. Childhood trauma is so tricky because the kid doesn’t know any better or different. This is the only story they have and they have to draw their own conclusions. That’s why I think it is so important to do the work as an adult, to see one’s past with adult eyes and not through the frightened eyes of the child, while also honoring and loving and tending to the frightened child that’s still alive within us—and often making decisions for us!”
― Minka Kelly, Tell Me Everything: A Memoir

“If I can give one piece of advice to young ladies reading this, it would be to always and consistently invest in your friendships with humility, love, and intention. I’m not always the best at this, but I’ve finally found my circle of women who see me and understand me. They know my heart and show me grace when I need it. As a result, they’ve inspired me to be the best friend I can possibly be for them, too. My sisterhood means the world to me and I cherish them with every fiber of my being. Men will come and they will go, but it is the women in your lives who’ll always be there.”
― Minka Kelly, Tell Me Everything: A Memoir

“Alain de Botton says "We blame our lovers, not our views of love." I've also heard that maturity doesn't come with age, it comes with acceptance of responsibility. Another quote really resonated with me when I read, "Whatever isn't claimed as our own is projected.”
― Minka Kelly, Tell Me Everything

“Alain de Botton says, “We blame our lovers, not our views of love.”
― Minka Kelly, Tell Me Everything

“This was a malfunction in my thinking.”
― Minka Kelly, Tell Me Everything

“What I see now is that the coping mechanisms that I developed to outlive these circumstances served me as a child. As an adult, though, they've slammed into whatever structures I've tried to build with potential life mates, eliciting cracks and fractures in the fragile web of trust I long to construct. Even as I try to craft a healthy and safe container in which love and tenderness might bloom, that old wrecking ball of learned behaviors keeps crashing into whatever I try to build, raising dust that clings to my hair and hurts my eyes, splintering my efforts to smithereens.”
― Minka Kelly, Tell Me Everything

“One skill a child learns from having alcoholic or drug-dependent parents is to anticipate the needs of those around them. I learned to take care of everyone and make them happy, you before me at all costs, in an unconscious effort to control my environment or to feel needed so to feel worthy, and that doesn’t translate into an authentic and truthful relationship.”
― Minka Kelly, Tell Me Everything: A Memoir

“Family pathology rolls from generation to generation like a fire in the woods taking down everything in its path until one person, in one generation, has the courage to turn and face the flames. That person brings peace to his ancestors and spares the children that follow.”
― Minka Kelly, Tell Me Everything: A Memoir

“I learned that I’d developed a survival technique I used whenever I felt threatened. I turned into a little girl who spoke with a tiny voice. That was to ensure someone wouldn’t hurt me and might even take care of me. That was how I’d made it through life thus far. If you’re small and appear innocent or helpless, maybe they won’t wound you. This was completely unconscious. It embarrasses me to admit that this voice thing still haunts me to this day. When I’m nervous or intimidated, I have to remind myself I’m safe and to release the tension in my throat so I can speak from my diaphragm.”
― Minka Kelly, Tell Me Everything

“I was crying all the time and working hard to balance her perspective with mine, to be fair to both of us, to get it right.”
― Minka Kelly, Tell Me Everything: A Memoir