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“Let’s just listen to the rain,’ she says, returning her head to its resting place on me. ‘Isn’t it nice, the way it comes down?’ And, as she squeezes me tight, I feel a warm drip hit my chest as if a single drop of that rain has found its way inside.

‘Let’s just hold each other and listen to the rain.”
― Michael Grothaus, Beautiful Shining People

“If they could ever truly have awareness, they’d instantly know what the meaning of their life is. It’s to serve burgers or to be a car and drive people around, or to build highways, or whatever task they were made for. They’d never have the agony of wondering why they’re here. But people, we’re always searching for meaning. You know, Why was I put on this earth? What’s my purpose? But the truth is, we don’t have one. I wasn’t born for any particular reason any more than you were or that student over there was. No person was born meaning to fulfill a specific task. If we want to find meaning in our lives, we need to make our own. But not robots – they have meaning built right in.”
― Michael Grothaus, Beautiful Shining People

“But fearing something and having it come to pass are two different things. And I'm willing to bet most of what we fear will never happen, or we can take steps to change it.”
― Michael Grothaus, Beautiful Shining People

“Mob mentality rules when people are anxious and scared, and looking for someone to blame for their unhappiness and hurts and fears.”
― Michael Grothaus, Beautiful Shining People

“Mom once said that suffering is the common thread every living creature shares. Some people think it’s love, but it’s not. Not everyone is guaranteed to love or be loved, after all. But from the tiniest insect to a 110-year-old human being – we’re all guaranteed to suffer throughout our lives. It’s the one experience that unites us – the one none of us can escape.”
― Michael Grothaus, Beautiful Shining People

“I place my arm around her, drawing her close, and let her tears soak my sweater as the breeze rustles the flora and the lanterns sway under a brilliant blanket of stars. I hold her for the longest time as she sits, suffering, in the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen.”
― Michael Grothaus, Beautiful Shining People

“She gives Neotnia a hard look. ‘One of the many things Haruto understood about this world is you do whatever you have to that’s best for the people you love – even if that choice hurts yourself. You should think carefully about that before you carry on trying to find him – because he may not want you to.”
― Michael Grothaus, Beautiful Shining People

“Approaching the Cenotaph again, we stop so a group of school-children can stand for an unobstructed photo by the shallow memorial pool.

Each holds a paper crane in their hands, and they all look so proud. It reminds me of the class photograph from 1945. The children in today’s class also look no older than five or six, and their smiles beam just as bright. And hearing their laughter as the teacher tries to get them to settle long enough to take the photo, I recall something Mom said years after she returned from Angola: ‘No matter what language you speak or what nationality you are, tears and laughter always sound the same.”
― Michael Grothaus, Beautiful Shining People

“Neotnia nods, and her eyes cast down to the shadows under our feet. ‘Joe said the shadows were really ghosts left behind to haunt us – to make us remember what we’re capable of doing to one another. The thing is, Joe said, the ghosts are all gone now. You can’t see them around the city anymore. Time has erased them. And he said that was bad.’

‘Why bad?’

‘Because when people stop being haunted by the past, they start repeating it.”
― Michael Grothaus, Beautiful Shining People

“The splotches of sun breaking through the gaps in the maples sway across her face. It’s as if luminous beings live just beneath her skin.”
― Michael Grothaus, Beautiful Shining People

“When my eyes return to earth, they cross Neotnia, her bangs gently fluttering in the breeze as she peers at the dome’s rusted arches crisscrossing each other like a crown of thorns. It feels like she’s gazing upon the skull of the twentieth century. Like it’s the remnant of some giant, horrible beast from a more primitive and violent era.”
― Michael Grothaus, Beautiful Shining People

“It’s odd seeing a thing in the real world that you’ve only looked upon before virtually. The dome doesn’t seem real, not at first anyway. But what’s more striking is the thought that I’m standing almost right in the centre of where the world’s first atomic bomb detonated. All around us today there’s life, but if we were here just over a hundred years ago, we’d have been vaporised instantly. And though I can move freely through these streets today, if I were here but a day before the bomb, everyone around would have seen me as the enemy. And I probably would have seen them as the enemy, too. Yet now we pass each other with no particular notice, much less any ill will.”
― Michael Grothaus, Beautiful Shining People

“Being out here, me and Neotnia, under those stars, I realize that even though we’re so small, our differences are as vast as the spaces between them.”
― Michael Grothaus, Beautiful Shining People

“Neotnia tilts her head and looks up at me for some time. And those eyes, the way they peer at me, it’s as if she can see facets of myself I’m not even aware of. Then with a motion so slight, she nods. ‘Hai,’ she says, and she presses her lips together and turns towards the blanket of stars above.”
― Michael Grothaus, Beautiful Shining People

“Stooop," she draws the word out, releasing a small breath. And the way her eyes linger on me – they make me want to forget everything I’ve learned. They make me want to hold her again.

But I don’t move.”
― Michael Grothaus, Beautiful Shining People

“Neotnia translates his words: ‘When I was a little boy, my parents didn’t dance, but they loved to take me camping. I remember being around a campfire much like this one and gazing at the stars with them. I noticed how some showed brighter than others, and some twinkled at different rates. I asked what they were, and my parents told me the stars were kami. “Beautiful, shining kami in the sky. All different. All unique. Just like us.” I had never heard the word before, so assumed “kami” was simply another name for“people”. After that, whenever we went camping, I would always tell my parents I couldn’t wait until nightfall so I could see the beautiful shining people in the sky.”
― Michael Grothaus, Beautiful Shining People

“I’ll try,’ I say. ‘If you still want me to, I’ll try.’


She blinks as she processes my words. And right there, those clear blue-grey eyes, they break my fucking heart. They stare upon me for several silent moments more as if contemplating whether she’s heard right. Then the edges of her mouth curl into a smile so slight most people would miss it.”
― Michael Grothaus, Beautiful Shining People

“And then I met Joe and got to know all the other residents, and I learned so much from them. Just listening to their stories about the lives they’d led ... Well, they were all remarkable. Every single one of them had faced challenge after challenge in their lives – and they all came through it. The void didn’t get them. And when I asked how they had made it, they almost always said the same thing: they had other people to be strong for them when they were weak. Or, some- times, they needed to be the strong one for someone else even when times were tough for them – and that kept them going. Many times, the people were their spouses or lovers. Sometimes these people were their children or their friends, or even their work colleagues. But the point was, they got through it because of their relationships.”
― Michael Grothaus, Beautiful Shining People

“People, especially when they band together, he told Goeido, can be cruel and judgmental and condemn a person without knowing them, simply because they are scared and angry and looking for someone to blame for the unfairness of life. But those people are to be pitied, he said, not have their outrage acted upon.”
― Michael Grothaus, Beautiful Shining People

“When I finally do sleep, I’m with Neotnia again. I feel her softness in my arms. I stroke her smooth legs. Her cool hair. I see her body go pale and wince in sharp jolts. Who doesn’t like a ghostly love story?”
― Michael Grothaus, Beautiful Shining People

“Her lids shift almost imperceptibly, their edges curving ever so slightly. ‘He told me about everything,’ she says, that shy curl on her lips turning into a smile at a memory. ‘Anything I wanted to know about him, he would tell me: early loves, his fears, the wrongs he’d done. Yet the only thing he ever told me about her is that she died years and years ago and that, to this day, she was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen. But that’s all he’d say. I don’t know how they met or even her name. Whenever I’d ask, he’d just say that some memories are too special to share.”
― Michael Grothaus, Beautiful Shining People

“Is it wrong that someone’s death makes you think of yourself ?’ she says, not really looking at me. ‘Of those living that you love?’
‘No,’ I shake my head, looking at those cloudy eyes for a long moment. They have a thin film over them. ‘No. Quite the contrary, I think that’s the most natural reaction in the world. Death makes us think about a lot. Ourselves. Others. Not just those who’ve passed.”
― Michael Grothaus, Beautiful Shining People

“Let people misjudge you – condemn you, even,’ she says for Goeido as he speaks again. ‘Smile at them, then carry on with your life. Their faults weaken only them.”
― Michael Grothaus, Beautiful Shining People

“Nah,’ I shake my head. ‘The thing about success – what little I’ve had, anyway – is it doesn’t change how the people who knew you before see you now. They still think of you as the gullible person they went to school with. They still treat you the same. Success ... it only impresses the people you meet after you’ve accomplished something.”
― Michael Grothaus, Beautiful Shining People

“Who doesn’t like a ghostly love story? It’s comforting.’
‘How so?’
‘That love can last even when there’s no longer a physical body to contain it. Some of the residents have told me they’ve seen their loved ones after they passed. They say just knowing that their spirits are out there makes them feel less alone.”
― Michael Grothaus, Beautiful Shining People

“And as soon as she says this, it’s as if a dark shadow has descended across her face. She won’t look at me, and the shine in her eyes has been blown away. Now, they’re as cloudy as the sky before a storm. It’s astonishing really, the change in her demeanour. If I was seeing her for the first time, I’d be sure I was looking at a girl who’s never once laughed or smiled. Matter of fact, I’d be certain she wasn’t capable of it.”
― Michael Grothaus, Beautiful Shining People

“It occurred to me how clear-headed I felt. The fog of jet lag had finally lifted. I thought of the girl from the café. Her sleeveless denim dress and her clear, blue-grey eyes. I suppose I had her to thank for my slumber.”
― Michael Grothaus, Beautiful Shining People

“In the renewed silence, the girl studies me as if I’m some kind of still life. And then, though her lips remain perfectly neutral, I can’t help but think I notice her smile. It’s because of how her eyelids shift. Their edges curve downward ever so slightly, like tiny crescent moons.”
― Michael Grothaus, Beautiful Shining People