Icarus Quotes

“There are so many books written about the weak learning to be strong and not many about the strong opening themselves up to weakness and vulnerability.”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus

“I was yours before we even met and I’ll be yours until we die.”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus

“Love is never a sin, and the rules of men who don’t understand that don’t matter.”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus

“You think I’d know art, and not know this?” Icarus said. He pressed closer, still. “There have been men like you before we had words for it.”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus

“Helios stopped talking and stared up at the ceiling. ‘I’ve always been a disappointment.’ Icarus couldn’t say that Helios wasn’t, he couldn’t say it was going to be okay because he didn’t know if it would be, he didn’t have a paragraph of loving words that he’d rehearsed the way Helios did. He only had the truth. ‘I want you anyway.’ Then, softer, ‘I’ll want you still, all the same.”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus

“I wish that I could hate you. I wish that I could. But I can’t and that makes it worse. Understanding you has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus

“I was made for you; I was born for you, and you’re still standing before me acting like you’re not worthy.”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus

“No one is born knowing how friends work. You figure it out as you go along.”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus

“Being with Helios felt like chess or a waltz. Icarus was surefooted in many ways, but not this. He didn't know how to play. But it was thrilling.”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus

“His father liked to keep his eyes closed. Icarus needed to keep his eyes open to stay tethered to faith.”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus

“When instinct tells you to pay attention and choose tenderness, do it. Community is humanity's greatest strength and community at its core is just love: work motivated by that love, comforts created out of love, bonds fed by love or at least for the desire of it.

Being young is so frightening because it feels like you don't have the power to enact dynamic change. In cases like this, in stories like this, where what is happening is so inexplicable and out of control that all you can do is try to give the strong person in your life the pleasure of your time or the snack from your lunch tray or a hug in the morning or the warmth and privacy of your car during their lunch hour…

If it is all you can give, it is enough. It has meaning. It is helping.

I love you for trying and please, please, please, don't let time steal this part of you.”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus

“We should really make a Horrible Dads club. I’m sure it won’t be hard to find members.”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus

“Meeting him feels like learning about a part of myself that I haven’t been allowed to understand until now.”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus

“He wondered at the picture they made. Icarus dark and small, in the water, head tilted back in devout wonder. Helios, red like the sun, gold in the light, standing above him.”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus

“She was in love with him, quietly, I think.’ Icarus continued. ‘Because there is no art of your mother in my house, but there are a thousand paintings of mine.”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus

“I was yours before we even met and I'll be yours until we die.”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus

“You stole so much from me,” Icarus continued. “Time I can’t get back, friendships I could have had, experiences I can never ever share. She died, and I get that and it was painful and it was horrible, but you never gave me a chance to live.”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus

“The only thing we can do is try our fucking best and pray that it’s good enough for everyone around us.”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus

“Helios was brilliant in this sun. He had to shield his gaze against it. Had to look at the space beside him through the shadow of his own hand. Helios’s hair spilled across the pillow, violent, sanguine, eyelashes flax-gold. He was blood in milk, he was the skin of a Pink Lady apple, he was honey warmed in a hot spoon over tea. He was looking at Icarus lazy and indulgent. Not surprised in the least to wake up not alone.”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus

“He was calm with Sorrel. It was like being in a Beatrix Potter novel with little squirrels doing laundry and rabbits mending fences.”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus

“Luca began to laugh. He laughed so hard it turned to a wheeze and he had to slow down and put his hands on his knees. “Do you do this on purpose?” Luca asked once they started walking again. “Manipulate supply and demand to make being with you feel like a luxury good?” “You think I’m a luxury good?” Icarus replied in the most saccharine drippy voice he could. “Oh Mr. Luca, I do declare . . .” “Nooo, you dick,” Luca guffawed, pushing Icarus again. “Don’t start with that.” Luca’s cheeks burned pink as sunset at the teasing.”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus

“He wanted to nip and get nipped in return.”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus

“Uncertainty felt like death at his back.”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus

“Angus Gallagher shut tight like a sarcophagus. Icarus Gallagher, eyes open, mouth open, waiting.”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus

“When you don't have people to be responsible to, or relationships that you have to sustain, you don't get in the habit of saying things you don't mean.

Icarus told the truth because if anyone didn't like it, he'd just never speak to them again.”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus

“Are we allowed to touch you again?" Luca interrupted urgently. "I asked my mom about it and she said that people should ask after someone tells you no the first time."

Icarus closed his eyes for a moment at that image--of Luca, asking. Then he did something he'd never done before.

"Come here."

Luca fell into his arms, shaking. Icarus tried to mirror Luca's arm placement from the party, to do it right.”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus

“He pulled the ice out of Icarus's arms and set it on the ground, then he dragged Icarus into a hug. Helios had hugged him carefully, like he thought he might be pushed away... had wrapped his arms around the top of Icarus's shoulders, held him close to his chest. Luca hugged him like he had every right to. Like they had ever done it before. Swept his arms under Icarus's arms, wrapped one around his upper back, curled the other around his waist, pushed his chin into the curve of Icarus's neck, held him full and sweet. Tears sprang to Icarus's eyes without his permission.”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus

“You never . . . you never . . . I had to learn how to hug someone from a friend. No one had ever held my hand until this year! You’re so fucking focused on yourself and your pain. You’re the most selfish man I’ve ever known!”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus

“He’s . . . beautiful. He has red hair, dark red. And he does ballet and he’s so good at it. He’s strong enough to lift me over his head. He’s funny and mean and always saying surprising things and I know it’s dangerous to break in to see him, but it’s worth it. I feel . . . meeting him feels like learning about a part of myself that I haven’t been allowed to understand until now.”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus

“Was this what Celestina and Luca came home to every night? Maybe even Helios when he was with his mom? Maybe Sorrel and Aspen and Julian too? How could he go home to his cold little bed now? He understood more than ever the ghosts in Celestina and Luca’s eyes when they saw his house. He understood, now, why Luca had been shaking.”
― K. Ancrum, Icarus