Father Material Quotes

“Lucien, your faith in your capacity to totally fuck things up for life sometimes borders on the hubristic.” “Thanks, I’ve worked really hard on it.”
― Alexis Hall, Father Material

“When it becomes about death or fucking, then it becomes a folk song.”
― Alexis Hall, Father Material

“As a barrister, I can confidently inform you that I am not legally liable for the words or actions of the version of me that lives in your head.”
― Alexis Hall, Father Material

“I know. It’s awful. How dare you make me happy.”
― Alexis Hall, Father Material

“Mum,” I said, “child labour laws are a thing.” She waved a hand. “Not when you are famous.” “I think yes, even when you’re famous.”
― Alexis Hall, Father Material

“I try to be principled. You’re making it sound like I have some kind of ethics fetish.” “You basically do.” “You have an ethics fetish. I just have ethics.” I thought about that. “Okay. Fair.”
― Alexis Hall, Father Material

“I think this is one of those situations where wank is very much in the eye of the beholder.” “That’s a bad place for wank to be.”
― Alexis Hall, Father Material

“gay as a rainbow butt plug”
― Alexis Hall, Father Material

“See, this was the problem with equality. Apparently, if you told a society it wasn’t okay to treat one group of people worse than another, it would consider the situation carefully, weigh up its options, and then start treating everyone equally badly.”
― Alexis Hall, Father Material

“You can commit arson when you’re older.”
― Alexis Hall, Father Material

“That it was better to get rejected for who we were than accepted for who we weren’t.”
― Alexis Hall, Father Material

“There are a lot of things that are nobody’s job but still need doing. And if more people stepped up and did them, the world would be a better place.”
― Alexis Hall, Father Material

“One of Mum’s many superpowers was never being sure about anything while also being absolutely certain about everything.”
― Alexis Hall, Father Material

“So I sent the obligatory follow-up emails and the enquiry emails and the follow-up phone calls that had to come after the enquiry emails, and by five I’d at least got confirmation from the three mediocre wedding bands I’d been trying to book. Admittedly, in two out of three cases, the confirmation had confirmed that they didn’t want to play my festival for shit-beetles, but Harvest Moon had been willing to do it. Although apparently they’d changed their name to Stardew now.”
― Alexis Hall, Father Material

“the last thing you want is for your festival to be caught in the middle of a male voice choir feud.”
― Alexis Hall, Father Material

“What’re you drinking?” I asked, because I thought he’d look down on something as bourgeois as hello.”
― Alexis Hall, Father Material

“Oliver was looking at me, not with anger or disappointment, but in a way that clearly said, You have fucked this. You have fucked this so badly. And that also said, But if that’s what we’re doing, we’re doing it together.”
― Alexis Hall, Father Material

“I think anybody who fails to recognise the importance of coleoptera is an irredeemable narcissist and not worth trying to engage with.”
― Alexis Hall, Father Material

“Which meant, after all these years, I’d won at gay.”
― Alexis Hall, Father Material

“She gave my arm a squeeze. “Of course you should; that’s why we’re friends. A true friend is someone who’ll go along with whatever you’re doing regardless of how awful, dangerous, or stupid it is.” “A true friend is an enabler with no self-control?” “Yes.” “Then good news,” I said, as upbeatly as the website had advised. “I’ve got you covered.”
― Alexis Hall, Father Material

“to be the lube in the social buttfucking”
― Alexis Hall, Father Material