How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups Quotes

“Rehearsing and re-rehearsing old injuries robs us of all that is precious. Shame never liberated a single spirit. And self-righteousness never softened a heart.”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups

“By seeing the person as separate from the disease, by detaching, we can stop being hurt by groundless insults or angered by outrageous lies.”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups

“Our recovery from the effects of alcoholism allows us to become more fully the men and women we are capable of being. As we grow, we learn to choose behavior that we can feel good about.”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups

“We learn to speak for ourselves, but never presume to speak for anyone else. We respect the privacy of others and acknowledge their right to have their own ideas and grow at their own pace. Likewise, we acknowledge and fulfill our own right to do the same.”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups

“Even if we come under criticism from those outside our program, we cannot afford to be lured into controversy. Just as we learn to stop reacting to an alcoholic’s provocation, we need not react to anyone’s opinions or prodding or be tempted to adopt a defensive or aggressive position.”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups

“We must make an effort to alter our self-image and combat self-loathing so that we will no longer feel at all inclined to accept the unacceptable.”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups

“Sometimes we have to surround ourselves with those who accept and love us before we can learn to love ourselves.”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups

“Even if we are only going through the motions, our loving behavior will help us to feel better about ourselves. In time, our actions will become more (92) comfortable, and we will begin to feel more deserving until our self-esteem gradually reaches a healthier level.”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups

“We certainly don’t love ourselves. In order to overcome these feelings of inadequacy and self-hatred, many of us must force ourselves mechanically to go through the motions of taking care of ourselves. We learn to act as we love ourselves and behave accordingly.”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups

“We might also pause before voicing these limits to be sure we are prepared to follow through. Otherwise, we risk seriously diminishing our credibility and diminishing our own self-esteem.”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups

“Our personal limits, however, do not dictate a code of behavior for others.”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups

“It is entirely up to us to determine what is acceptable to us and what is not. The same behavior that is intolerable to one person won’t bother another person at all.”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups

“limits help us to know in advance what our options are and how we feel about them so that, when faced with a stressful situation where we may not be thinking clearly, we will have some idea of what is in our best interest. (91)”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups

“Halt!” and to tend to these needs as soon as possible. This simple, loving reminder can prevent our saying or doing things we might regret, and can help us to avoid rash decisions.”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups

“We actively pursue this goal when we say a prayer before answering the phone or take a moment to listen for that still small voice inside us before making a decision, even a minor decision. And when we notice opportunities and gifts, even in difficult situations, we are strengthened by keeping our gratitude for our Higher Power’s loving assistance in the forefront of our minds.”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups

“As important as it is to set time aside for spiritual “exercise,” it is even more important to recognize that our spiritual selves require ongoing attention. Morning prayers may not provide all of the spiritual sustenance we need for the entire day any more than a mid-morning snack will satisfy all of our nutritional needs. We seek to make our Higher Power a constant companion, turning to the God of our understanding for guidance and spiritual nourishment throughout the day and night.”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups

“But not all of our emotional experiences are unpleasant. We may also discover new joy, passion, creativity, excitement, and a sense of wonder. It is essential to make room in our lives and in our psyches for all of these new, positive feelings that can energize the pursuit of further growth and make life so much more enjoyable.”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups

“Of course, this experience will eventually pass and the feelings will depart, but in the meantime we need to treat ourselves with extra tenderness.”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups

“Therefore, they are not necessarily the best basis for decision-making. Other people can help us to value the experience of our emotions without acting on them in ways that we might regret once the feelings have passed.”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups

“to provide ourselves with a place to express these feelings where we will receive the support and encouragement we need,”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups

“Change, even wonderful, positive change, almost always involves some grief for the old way of life we are letting go, even if that way of life kept us miserable.”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups

“we can find appropriate ways to express ourselves. We might examine our emotions, whether alone, with a Sponsor, or with professional help. Because recovery involves tremendous inner change and upheaval in addition to whatever outside changes are occurring, many of us need to take extra care of ourselves emotionally.”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups

“By attending to our physical needs, we go a long way toward making our lives more manageable.”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups

“we must learn to attend to our own well-being first. We owe it to ourselves to give ourselves the love, care, and attention we need and deserve, even if the needs of others sometimes have to wait.”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups

“We, too, deserve love.”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups

“we forgive when we acknowledge our common humanity with everyone, even the person we feel the most entitled to condemn.”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups

“What is the purpose of our recovery? If we are truly in pursuit of serenity, of healing, of a sense of inner peace that will help us to deal with and possibly even enjoy whatever life brings, we must improve the way we interact with others. This doesn’t mean that we close our eyes to the unacceptable or tolerate the intolerable.”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups

“Each of us is worthy of love, and each of us is doubly blessed when we are able to dig down past our grievances and resentments, no matter how justified we may feel in harboring them, and find within ourselves the recognition of that part of the other person that is and always will be lovable.”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups

“Resentment will do nothing except tear us apart inside. No one ever found serenity through hatred. No one ever truly recovered from the effects of alcoholism by harboring anger or fear, or by holding on to grudges. Hostility keeps us tied to the abuses of the past. Even if the alcoholic is long gone from our lives or has refrained from drinking for many years, we, too, need to learn to detach. We need to step back from the memories of alcoholic behavior that continue to haunt us. We begin to detach when we identify the disease of alcoholism as the cause of the behavior and recognize that our ongoing struggle with unpleasant memories is an effect of that disease. We, too, must find within us compassion for the alcoholic who suffered from this terrible illness.”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups

“It takes time and practice to master detachment. Beginning the process is important, even if we do it badly at first and must later make amends.”
― Al-Anon Family Groups, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups