Different, Not Less Quotes

“One autistic person's 'level of functioning' will fluctuate throughout their day, week and life, depending upon circumstances, environment, mood and other factors. Someone who has been deemed 'high functioning' simply due to external factors (such as their home life, their support circle, or simply how well they have learned to mask themselves) may in fact need more resources and support than someone who has been deemed 'low functioning'.”
― Chloé Hayden, Different, Not Less: A Neurodivergent's Guide to Embracing Your True Self and Finding Your Happily Ever After

“Functioning labels have never helped autistic people, and we need to call them out for what they are: Is this person capable of producing capitalistic value, or not? That's the real reason these labels are used, often hidden behind the idea of providing support, but it's false support.”
― Chloé Hayden, Different, Not Less: A Neurodivergent's Guide to Embracing Your True Self and Finding Your Happily Ever After

“You can't use a new word to replace an old one without it holding the exact same correlation, segregation and complacency that the original term was associated with. Instead of the 1930s mindset of 'People with Asperger's are worthy of survival, but those who have autism are not,' we now see a twenty-first century version of that: 'People who are high-functioning are worthy of survival, but those who are low functioning...' It's just a more modernised, accepted vocabulary. Instead of 'worthy of survival', our new language is being 'worthy' in capitalism and 'worthy' of support.”
― Chloé Hayden, Different, Not Less: A Neurodivergent's Guide to Embracing Your True Self and Finding Your Happily Ever After

“It's no secret that the impact animals have on us can be healing and can help us to understand how to communicate. Animals don't mock, they don't pretend, they don't have hidden agendas. That sort of thing is exactly what we need...it's what everyone needs.”
― Chloé Hayden, Different, Not Less: A Neurodivergent's Guide to Embracing Your True Self and Finding Your Happily Ever After

“We are socialized to hide key parts of our identity to avoid being seen as too bossy, too much, too little, or too [insert misogynistic term that only applies to women]. Women learn to be more reserved, shy and quiet in order to be the picture-perfect face of femininity and to avoid abuse and misogyny.”
― Chloé Hayden, Different, Not Less: A Neurodivergent's Guide to Embracing Your True Self and Finding Your Happily Ever After

“How disappointing that we live in a society where a child is either completely 'normal' --as in, they can fit into this oddly designed box that no one in particular created but that society has deemed to be the only way--or there's something entirely, utterly, absolutely wrong with them.”
― Chloé Hayden, Different, Not Less: A Neurodivergent's Guide to Embracing Your True Self and Finding Your Happily Ever After

“Society is so belittling of disabled people that studies have shown that suicide is perceived as significantly more acceptable for the disabled, and that health services are lacking and inaccessible for those who need them most. When it comes to mental health and disabled folk, no one is ready to discuss it.”
― Chloé Hayden, Different, Not Less: A Neurodivergent's Guide to Embracing Your True Self and Finding Your Happily Ever After

“My body is no longer available for the diet industry to profit off. I've got better things to do than fit into unrealistic standards of beauty so the already rich can make more money from my self-doubt.”
― Chloé Hayden, Different, Not Less: A Neurodivergent's Guide to Embracing Your True Self and Finding Your Happily Ever After

“No longer were tears and fear and uncertainty seen as just a child who was scared; now they were a pathetic excuse for an adult. No longer were my sensory issues seen as those of a little girl with extra support needs; now I was an adult who was noncompliant and a burden.”
― Chloé Hayden, Different, Not Less: A Neurodivergent's Guide to Embracing Your True Self and Finding Your Happily Ever After

“What was the point when life was a constant circle of forcing a broken mask onto yourself to survive, only to rip it off at the end of the day to reveal a girl who was just as broken? I had no energy left to be the me I once was--and should still have been. Simply living was a chore.”
― Chloé Hayden, Different, Not Less: A Neurodivergent's Guide to Embracing Your True Self and Finding Your Happily Ever After

“Growing up in a world that wasn't created for even the most basic level of my existence meant that I grew up incredibly ostracised and ridiculed. I was taught from a young age that my mind wasn't valued, that my existence wasn't important, that I wasn't supposed to be here. How can a little girl ever find herself when every part of society is telling her that she can't be the only version of herself she has ever known?”
― Chloé Hayden, Different, Not Less: A Neurodivergent's Guide to Embracing Your True Self and Finding Your Happily Ever After

“The other part of communication is communicating your feelings. Friendship is a two-way street; it's mutual. Be honest about your needs and your feelings at all times, with no exceptions. If you're not articulating your feelings, we're not going to pick up on it--we don't take hints, we don't pick up on invisible social cues, we're not going to understand radio silence. We need real communication or we're both going to get confused and upset.”
― Chloé Hayden, Different, Not Less: A Neurodivergent's Guide to Embracing Your True Self and Finding Your Happily Ever After

“We can create a more nurturing environment by surrounding ourselves with love and support, learning and becoming friends with our minds, and continuing to dismantle harmful social norms in ourselves and in our networks.”
― Chloé Hayden, Different, Not Less: A Neurodivergent's Guide to Embracing Your True Self and Finding Your Happily Ever After