I Am Ace Quotes

“And in a world where visible representations of asexual people are really hard to come by, the power you have as an out individual is enormous. You might be the only asexual person someone else has ever met or seen. You might be the first person to clearly explain the ace experience to someone. Your visibility might change the way someone else sees their own identity. That's big.”
― Cody Daigle-Orians, I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life

“Our culture weaponizes wanting or not wanting sex across many different identities and experiences as a way to marginalize them. It's not exclusive to asexuality.”
― Cody Daigle-Orians, I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life

“Medical professionals (and, honestly, people in our lives who love and support us) shouldn't make asexuality a thing we believe once everything else is ruled out. That's a grueling and painful process to put a person through. Some people are ace. That's how their bodies and minds work. There's nothing wrong with it.”
― Cody Daigle-Orians, I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life

“When confronted with someone who breaks the norm, some people find it easier to call that person's experience a fiction instead of altering their understanding of the world to include something new.”
― Cody Daigle-Orians, I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life

“you’d see in a Hallmark holiday movie. “Webuck a lot of the norms you’re writing about,” Scott said. “That we do,” I replied. “We probably buck all of them in one way or another,” Dan said. “I’ve always found it interesting that that’s usually the case,” Scott said. “You’re not just finding people breaking one of the normative ways of thinking. You break one”
― Cody Daigle-Orians, I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life

“heteronormativity doesn’t approve of asexuality. And with its incredible cultural power”
― Cody Daigle-Orians, I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life

“every queer person is othered by their queerness. The nature and experience of that may change from community to community”
― Cody Daigle-Orians, I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life

“Your asexuality is not automatically subordinate to the sexual wants and needs of your partner. You are not inherently assumed to be second place. So lean into the discomfort if it arises in this conversation. The discomfort now will either help you develop a stronger relationship later or it will tell you that you both need to find something somewhere else.”
― Cody Daigle-Orians, I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life

“Embracing your asexuality and naming your asexuality isn’t a grab at specialness. It’s a brave step in owning your truth and claiming your space in a world that would rather you didn’t.”
― Cody Daigle-Orians, I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life

“We’re occupying our space that we’d been wrongfully pushed out of before. For some people”
― Cody Daigle-Orians, I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life

“You never stop coming out. So the pressure we put on ourselves to make our coming out perfect is misguided. Only practice makes perfect”
― Cody Daigle-Orians, I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life

“The us our parents grow to love at first is a person who doesn’t wholly exist. When we come out as ace or queer or trans—whatever we end up being that wasn’t part of their original plan—we change their understanding of the person they’ve known and loved for years. When we come out”
― Cody Daigle-Orians, I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life

“At the end of the day”
― Cody Daigle-Orians, I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life

“And that makes sense”
― Cody Daigle-Orians, I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life

“we should not think of labels so much as what we are”
― Cody Daigle-Orians, I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life

“Caedsexuals are individuals who did experience sexual attraction at one point but feel that attraction was stripped away or “cut out” by some kind of past trauma.”
― Cody Daigle-Orians, I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life

“I should know about my queer family. Here was a whole world of queer lives that I’d just made assumptions about—assumptions that were wrong and”
― Cody Daigle-Orians, I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life

“Asexuality isn’t defined by behavior. Asexuality isn’t about what we do. Asexuality is about how we experience attraction. It’s about what we feel”
― Cody Daigle-Orians, I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life

“When my relationship with him ended”
― Cody Daigle-Orians, I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life

“Will this book answer all of your questions about asexuality? Probably not. Asexuality is not a simple experience. Not only are there many different ways to be asexual”
― Cody Daigle-Orians, I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life

“This is the book I wish I had when”
― Cody Daigle-Orians, I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life

“You're not sure if you ever experienced sexual attraction. You've felt pressured to have sex because it's what you're "supposed to do." You don't understand why people complain about not having sex”
― Cody Daigle-Orians, I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life

“As ace folks, we go through much of our lives searching for the language to describe what we feel. We don't see our experiences reflected in the world. We don't see them depicted in the media we encounter and consume. And we don't recognize them in the people we surround ourselves with. We feel like these little islands of experience, isolated, alone in what we feel.”
― Cody Daigle-Orians, I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life

“Anyone who asserts they're owed your disclosure is also working from the assumption that they're also owed your sexuality. And you owe no one either of those things. They're yours to share with someone when you see fit.”
― Cody Daigle-Orians, I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life

“Unlike allosexual people who make the assumption that everyone should want and enjoy sex as much as they do, sex-averse and sex-repulsed ace folks are making choices about their own bodies and their own lives, and those choices should not be twisted to place them in some kind of opposition to allosexuality.”
― Cody Daigle-Orians, I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life