The Paranormal Investigation Bureau Quotes

“A toddler did more property damage than a cat, but it was illegal to charge a kid deposit and child fees like it was with pets.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Paranormal Investigation Bureau: The Complete Series

“My mom taught me. She told me when she sent me out into the world, I was going to know how to take care of myself. She also said when I met the right woman, I was going to be a proper partner, not a man-child who needed a babysitter.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Paranormal Investigation Bureau: The Complete Series

“No, this was pure adrenaline. Some people did drugs, and others chased that runner’s high. Ballet dancers abused our bodies for this feeling right here.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Paranormal Investigation Bureau: The Complete Series

“Merlin whipped out a bag of popcorn and started shoving it in his face. Where the fuck was he keeping his popcorn?”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Paranormal Investigation Bureau: The Complete Series

“She said she hated it when the things she loved got ruined when she found out the person behind it was garbage.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Paranormal Investigation Bureau: The Complete Series

“had no idea an asexual banshee could outmaneuver a horny Unseelie, but I had a pretty good idea it would work.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Paranormal Investigation Bureau: The Complete Series

“That’s pretty mature of you.” “It’s been known to happen.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Paranormal Investigation Bureau: The Complete Series

“We had a whole feast prepared by the time the doorbell rang. I flung open the front door in excitement, with a huge grin from ear to ear. It was only fucking Arden.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Paranormal Investigation Bureau: The Complete Series

“I don’t want to teach little crotch demons when I retire. Maybe I’ll be a surly-ass fairy godmother and do makeovers for money.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Paranormal Investigation Bureau: The Complete Series

“Given the sheer number of people that could use them, I didn’t know why someone hadn’t invented something where one of those Snuggies and a heating pad had a baby. They gave you this tiny rectangle, and you just had to move it around.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Paranormal Investigation Bureau: The Complete Series

“I loved a good romance. My kindle was full of romance novels, even if I would never tell a soul that.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Paranormal Investigation Bureau: The Complete Series