The Pain We Carry Quotes

“Healing always begins with awareness and recognition of (at times painful) truths so that you can be more aware of how you might be hurting others and yourself without even knowing it.”
― Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

“When is comes to experiences of racism and oppression, even when you receive love and support you can still develop PTSD or CPTSD, because feeling othered every day can rob you of your sense of safety in the world.”
― Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

“It’s a privilege to go through life not having the way you express yourself or live your life be policed. It’s a privilege to feel comfortable writing and speaking in your natural voice because the world hasn’t tried to silence you.”
― Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

“Being fluent in your body's language is the antidote to trauma.”
― Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

“I promise you that your body (a.k.a the vessel that stores all your stories and feelings) has so many important things to say to you. Are you willing to take the risk and listen?”
― Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

“Your coping behaviors show you what needs witnessing, caring for, and unburdening. If we can just approach them with curiosity and compassion, we might find what is underneath it all.”
― Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

“Three generations--the expectant parent, the fetus, and the eggs in that fetus's ovaries--can be genetically altered by stressors during pregnancy. By understanding this, you can see that both cultural and family legacy burdens are not just beliefs; they're also physically expressed.”
― Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

“Think about how patriarchy is reflected in your family.”
― Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

“In order to truly create societal change, we need to make sure we no longer internalize the messages of an oppressive society and become our own oppressor.”
― Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

“Your heart breaks receiving explicit messages from groups in power--that the only way you will be truly loved and accepted is through assimilation. That shut cuts deep. So deep, it becomes trauma.”
― Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

“The belief that resting was laziness was passed down throughout his family for generations. Rest was uncomfortable. Grind culture was heavily glorified in his family because of the belief that they were behind and needed to do the most to be seen as valuable. He learned self-worth through measuring his accomplishments, not by seeing his own inherent value.”
― Natalie Y. Gutierrez, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

“When you’re having to be a chameleon that changes colors to match your environment for survival and in order to be accepted and loved…imagine what that does. Your heart breaks receiving explicit messages from groups in power—that the only way you will be truly loved and accepted is through assimilation. That shit cuts deep. So deep, it becomes trauma.”
― Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

“Communities of Color are asked for burden of proof that racism still exists.”
― Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

“Racism and oppression are monstrosities that create emotional, psychological, and physiological distress and put you in survival mode way longer than what is healthy for your autonomic nervous system--whether you are activated or shut down.”
― Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

“When you're in an activated or shutdown state long enough, you might mistake being hypervigilant (like anxious) or being shut down for your personality.”
― Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

“The problem is when you're facing racism every day, or you're on heightened alert anticipating the daily dose of racism (even the subtle kind, where an experience leaves you doubting your intuition, wondering if someone's words or actions were racist and trying to rationalize it away), and your brain and body are releasing hormones (like cortisol) and chemicals (like norepinephrine) in excess for long periods of time.”
― Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

“Healing is all about creating new neural pathways in the brain to help you respond differently to perceived threats around you. This happens through awareness, practice, and receiving care from people in your community.”
― Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

“When we are grounding and calming our bodies, we are using our senses, borrowing from nature and the world around us. We are present with the energies surrounding us, with Earth's elements, and with our ancestors within. We are never really doing this work alone.”
― Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

“Your painful past and current stressors from living in a structurally racist and oppressive system may have shifted your nervous system's default from a grounded and calm state to one of hypervigilance, numbness, or tension.”
― Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

“How does my body tell me I feel safe? How does my body tell me I feel threatened?”
― Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

“Racism attempts to violate your soul. It interrupts your life and you might find yourself silencing your voice and numbing out--exiling your pain to where you can't even see it. So much happens underneath the surface in our bodies that has been happening for many generations.”
― Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

“As someone of the global majority, you're specifically vulnerable to this [materialism] cultural legacy burden if you've grown up in poverty...If you're like me, you might find yourself seeking out the instant gratification of things, or ownership of possessions in excess, to try to soothe your painful memories of not having enough.”
― Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

“As a Black, Indigenous, and Person of color struggling with CPTSD in the form of racial and historical trauma, you carry cultural legacy burdens that have shaped your thinking, your sense of self, and probably your worldview. And while burdens can also be personal--such as physical trauma in childhood that leads someone to subconsciously seek out abusive partners in adulthood--the burdens I'm talking about are large-scale, permeating throughout this nation's society to directly disadvantage and hurt you and other marginalized groups.”
― Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

“When I experience a microaggression, what do I notice happening in my body?”
― Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

“It isn't that you're flawed because of what happened, it's that you're hurt.”
― Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

“You can reclaim what the trauma of racism has taken from you: calm and ease in your own body, clarity and intention in your life, and the resources of your ancestors that are yours to inherit.”
― Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

“It's possible to honor your family and your ancestors by breaking the intergenerational cycle of trauma.”
― Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

“The ancestral practices that historically brought comfort and stability were put aside or forgotten altogether because somewhere along the line your elders or ancestors were forced to surrender them.”
― Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

“To heal ourselves is to heal the generations that have come before us.”
― Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

“The reality is many of us in the global majority have been estranged from the communities and heritages that are our birthright.”
― Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color