Mindreader Quotes

“The pursuit of comfort is basically the avoidance of life and not only denies us genuine pleasure but also short-circuits the entirety of our well-being.”
― David J. Lieberman, Mindreader: The New Science of Deciphering What People Really Think, What They Really Want, and Who They Really Are

“Psychologist and marketing guru Ernest Dichter, known as the “father of motivational research,” explains that when human beings become fearful, most will regress to soothing, even infantile, behaviors and animalistic drives to distract themselves from, and channel, their anxiety.”
― David J. Lieberman, Mindreader: The New Science of Deciphering What People Really Think, What They Really Want, and Who They Really Are

“Fear exists because of a loss of control.”
― David J. Lieberman, Mindreader: The New Science of Deciphering What People Really Think, What They Really Want, and Who They Really Are

“Passivity manifests in complaining and blaming because these behaviors are both self-focused and correlate to feelings of helplessness. These people are likely to make frequent complaints with the accompanying message that no one will do anything about them and make demands to mobilize feelings of guilt and responsibility in those around them. Their pain is, they tell you, the result of someone or something else outside of themselves (e.g., “You make me sad”; “All this noise makes me feel anxious”). This is not to say that a correlation does not exist, but a complete lack of ownership over one’s emotional state points to a mood disorder because, quite logically, if how we feel is directly determined by an external cause, then we, too, would become anxious and ultimately depressed.”
― David J. Lieberman, Mindreader: The New Science of Deciphering What People Really Think, What They Really Want, and Who They Really Are

“The ego corrupts our mindset in five ways: (a) It chooses what we focus on, (b) it makes what we see all about us, (c) it concludes that all negative experiences are due to a deficiency within ourselves, (d) it
magnifies the relevance of our focus, and (e) it causes us to believe that we can think our way out of a situation that is beyond our control or understand something that is unknowable.”
― David J. Lieberman, Mindreader: The New Science of Deciphering What People Really Think, What They Really Want, and Who They Really Are

“Self-esteem is keenly observed as a reflection of one’s relationships and manifests in three main domains: one’s history and patterns, interactions and exchanges, and borders and boundaries.”
― David J. Lieberman, Mindreader: The New Science of Deciphering What People Really Think, What They Really Want, and Who They Really Are

“If you give out of fear or guilt, your self-esteem is not enriched; indeed, it is only diminished. You aren’t really giving; the other person is taking. You are being taken advantage of, with your consent.”
― David J. Lieberman, Mindreader: The New Science of Deciphering What People Really Think, What They Really Want, and Who They Really Are

“The typical characteristics of the egocentric mentality are arrogance and bravado, but even a submissive
personality who is seemingly void of ego can also be self-centered and selfish. He is consumed by his own pain, filled with self-pity, and unable to feel anyone else’s pain while drowning in his own. Such a person experiences no real connection to anyone outside of himself, despite his seemingly noble nature. He will not—cannot—burden himself unless he receives a larger payout in the form of acceptance or approval. His taking is disguised as giving. His fear is dressed up as love. (He may also be motivated by the need to assuage feelings of guilt or inadequacy, yet still his aim is to reduce his own suffering, not someone else’s.)”
― David J. Lieberman, Mindreader: The New Science of Deciphering What People Really Think, What They Really Want, and Who They Really Are

“The lower our self-esteem in general—and how much the uncomfortable truth affects our self-image in particular—the more fearful we become.”
― David J. Lieberman, Mindreader: The New Science of Deciphering What People Really Think, What They Really Want, and Who They Really Are