The Trouble with Trying to Date a Murderer Quotes

“I mean, I haven’t done anything wrong, except maybe now I’m aiding and abetting, but that’s just how the cookie crumbles when the love of your life is so good at killing people.”
― Jennifer Cody, The Trouble with Trying to Date a Murderer

“I’m not one to judge, but it just feels strange that anyone would bring a sword to what is obviously a gun fight.”
― Jennifer Cody, The Trouble with Trying to Date a Murderer

“if no one ever told you that confidence is sexy, then allow me to be the first: confidence is sexy. Full stop. I don’t care what you look like or if you have a bad personality or if you’re homely. Confidence. Is. Sexy.”
― Jennifer Cody, The Trouble with Trying to Date a Murderer

“I reserve the right to make up important words.”
― Jennifer Cody, The Trouble with Trying to Date a Murderer

“Our First Child: *middle finger* Make sure the sitter is hot or I will run away. Me: Done.”
― Jennifer Cody, The Trouble with Trying to Date a Murderer

“People say it’s the thought that counts, but if you don’t know what your person wants, you should think about letting them pick it themselves. That thought definitely counts.”
― Jennifer Cody, The Trouble with Trying to Date a Murderer

“Leave Elijah a note warning him that his ex is a stalker and thank him for hosting me. I might have been squatting, but I don’t want to be rude.”
― Jennifer Cody, The Trouble with Trying to Date a Murderer

“As I pour myself a cup from the coffee pot, I have to admit that fatherhood suits me; I already have my kid trained to provide caffeine and donuts. I’m amazing.”
― Jennifer Cody, The Trouble with Trying to Date a Murderer

“Me: We adopted Bellamy last night. Obviously we need some time to adjust to parenthood. Daddy: I’m too young for grand sugar babies. Me: It’s too late. No take backs. You’re a grand sugar daddy now. Daddy: Imma buy my boys matching father-son outfits. Me: I approve. Make sure his says “mini me” on it.”
― Jennifer Cody, The Trouble with Trying to Date a Murderer

“At least you don’t have to raise this one,” Fox murmurs, pulling me in for a hug. I consider that and shake my head. I do actually have to raise this one. He needs to learn to appreciate puns or he’s no kid of mine.”
― Jennifer Cody, The Trouble with Trying to Date a Murderer

“McQueen: I’ll send Annette the details so you can read them for yourself, but the takeaway is that you’ve basically adopted him. Congratulations. Me: I’m too young to be a father! McQueen: Too late. No take backs. I’m a grandfather now. Me: I’m going through a tunnel. You’re breaking up. Krrk. Oh darn. I’ve lost the connection.”
― Jennifer Cody, The Trouble with Trying to Date a Murderer

“Me: *grin* *peach* *eggplant* *waterdrops* *drool* Fox: Emojis exist. Me: But this way you know I’ve intentionally sexted you.”
― Jennifer Cody, The Trouble with Trying to Date a Murderer

“Daddy: You’re going to meet one of Fox’s parents tonight. When you see him—you will know exactly who I’m talking about—tell him he looks like a Chris. Me: Should I expect a positive or negative response? Daddy: Both. If you send me a video, I’ll buy you a bracelet to match your engagement ring. Me: Done. Daddy: God, I fucking love you.”
― Jennifer Cody, The Trouble with Trying to Date a Murderer

“Making out with him, tangling tongues, and just occupying the same space turns me into a soup of melty desire and questionable decision-making skills.”
― Jennifer Cody, The Trouble with Trying to Date a Murderer

“I don’t have an answer for her and couldn’t say even if I did. Snicker. I love mute puns, but only when I make them.”
― Jennifer Cody, The Trouble with Trying to Date a Murderer

“My disability makes some people uncomfortable. Confidence is sexy, and my estimation of Darcy's sex appeal is dropping by the word.
Man needs to learn that trying to make up for my silence is the equivalent of telling me that there's something wrong with me, and that's just offensive. I have it on good authority that I'm perfect. Fox told me so.”
― Jennifer Cody, The Trouble with Trying to Date a Murderer

“You're going to ask your parents to make me immortal?" Bellamy rasps out, bringing my scrutiny to his face because he's clearly gotten emotional about this.
"Yes." Fox confirms, watching our boy as intensely as I am.
Bellamy swallows a couple of times, white-knuckling the handle of his gun case. He looks between us before surrender takes over his features and he looks at the wall somewhere behind us. "Thank you.”
― Jennifer Cody, The Trouble with Trying to Date a Murderer

“Obviously being married to a murderer comes with some risks; being indestructible makes the risks negligible.”
― Jennifer Cody, The Trouble with Trying to Date a Murderer

“I mean, I've seen him get shot at, and I know I can't be shot, so for a moment I contemplate using my body to protect him, but then I remember that my man has competence in spades, and if he wants me to stand here and do nothing, that's exactly what I'm going to do.”
― Jennifer Cody, The Trouble with Trying to Date a Murderer

“They're not used to anyone standing on the danger end of the gun and acting like they're not worried.”
― Jennifer Cody, The Trouble with Trying to Date a Murderer

“I rename the contact "Future Husband," giggling internally. I can't wait to see what Fox thinks of that.
When I look up, he's staring ahead with a small smile on his face pretending that he didn't see me change the contact name.”
― Jennifer Cody, The Trouble with Trying to Date a Murderer

“Also I guess our love connection is totally one-sided. Not that I blame the man; he doesn't know what a catch I am yet.”
― Jennifer Cody, The Trouble with Trying to Date a Murderer

“Has anyone in the history of ever actually had their mouth water at the sight of a nice juicy cock, or am I trailblazing?”
― Jennifer Cody, The Trouble with Trying to Date a Murderer

“I’ll eventually replace my charity clothes with things I’ll buy for myself, but not until I’ve worn them through.”
― Jennifer Cody, The Trouble with Trying to Date a Murderer

“I have to ask Jeeves for money. It’s hilarious.”
― Jennifer Cody, The Trouble with Trying to Date a Murderer

“I am not living in a house where the dining tables outnumber the actual number of residents,” Bellamy argues, deadpan. “Please have Bellamy Jones’s residence packed up and move his belongings to my home. Sell all the furniture except the tables.”
― Jennifer Cody, The Trouble with Trying to Date a Murderer

“I work for a council of pricks with sticks shoved so far up their asses that I’m sure all their food tastes like wood and shit.”
― Jennifer Cody, The Trouble with Trying to Date a Murderer