Barbarians in the Halls of Power Quotes

“The way it’s going…
(166 words)

A foul-mouthed Pee-wee Herman runs for president. People finally realize what a racist, xenophobic, misogynistic, and homophobic bigot he is. He’s clearly not a politician. Rather, he’s someone who speaks his mind, and that makes him relatable.

Herman runs against a faceless, forgettable career backbencher who’s been wrong on every issue for half a century, has become a multimillionaire without a legal avenue to attaining his fortune, and who you’re told you have to vote for because he’s experienced.
Last year, we were told that the politician had a lobotomy, but the alternative is even worse.

The voters will be hit with a tsunami of stomach-turning, deceptive ads and told that they have to vote for one of the two, or else they’ll be throwing away their democracy.

In four years, they’ll run Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s coat for president. No one will notice. His coat will have more integrity than all of the idiots in recent years they’ve presented to us so we can confirm them.”
― Gary J. Floyd, Barbarians in the Halls of Power

“Who declared that these people are in the center? If you took a poll, their positions are radically out of step with those of most
Americans. Network television declares them to be the center. It doesn’t matter what you thought you saw; the media will tell you what you saw. They say nothing—which tells you everything.”
― Gary J. Floyd, Barbarians in the Halls of Power

“We can pass out small pistols, which will lovingly fit into the palms of their hands. It’s a compromise position because their little fingers aren’t developed enough to fully grip high-powered automatic weapons. It would also make them familiar with the gun manufacturers’ products and open up a whole new market. They can be sold in wild colors that blink, make siren noises, and say things like the gun goes boom, B…O…O…M, to help them learn to read. How about Hello Kitty revolvers or Teletubbies automatics? Maybe they can implant little guns, for the unborn, while they’re in utero.”
― Gary J. Floyd, Barbarians in the Halls of Power

“The girls desperately rooted for us even as we appeared to play every game uphill. They followed the hard orange ball, which, despite ping-ponging around, never left our zone, like a Plexiglas wall sealed it in. We kicked the ball forward, bounced it off our chests, headed it out of the zone. When we outplayed our opponent, we lost by a couple of goals; when we didn’t, we lost by a lot more. We had no talent.”
― Gary J. Floyd, Barbarians in the Halls of Power

“Dusty beer bottles on both sides of the squishy steps vibrated and danced every time anyone descended down them. There were bottles on various ledges and within cases that were stacked like totem poles. The kids used a large wooden spool as a table and sat on seats torn from junk cars. They told jokes that everyone knew by heart, or stories that they could recite verbatim. The top of the spool was littered with ashtrays, full of snuffed butts, as well as empty beer
bottles, or “dead soldiers.” At the bottom of the bottles, engorged cigarette butts resembled leeches, having been drowned in a lethal cocktail of backwash and saliva. Half the cigarettes inside the ashtrays had white filters, lovingly imprinted with Gail’s pink lipstick that she’d rubbed out in the ashtray. Of late, I was smoking more, sucking on the cigarettes that I bummed off the girls. Sucking in their essence.”
― Gary J. Floyd, Barbarians in the Halls of Power

“Later, some of his supporters decide that Antifa orchestrated
the whole thing. It’s as if Antifa, probably taking advantage of a
group-discount rate at the MAGA store, suddenly show up decked out
in all this crap, I mean, merchandise, and duped the poor, pathetic
Make America Great Again crowd. Sometimes reality is an orphan in the valley of the true believers.”
― Gary J. Floyd, Barbarians in the Halls of Power