Gangsta Granny Strikes Again! Quotes

“At once, Raj set about finding some dry clothes for Ben and the Queen. However, all he had were his unsold costumes from Halloween. “This is your size, Your Majesty,” said Raj, handing her a lobster costume. “One has never dressed as a lobster before. What fun!” she said, taking the costume behind the card carousel to change. Next, Raj picked up one of his princess outfits. Before he could say a thing, Ben snapped, “NO!” “What do you mean, no?” asked Raj. “No means no! I am never, ever, ever dressing up as a princess!” “But you would look so pretty!” Raj implored. “NO!” “Well, the lobster outfits are too big for you.” The Queen reappeared with hers on. “Red is so your colour!” remarked Raj. “Oh, why thank you, Mr Raj. Now come on, Ben. You can’t stay in those wet things – you will catch your death of cold!” “But—” “No buts, Benjamin! Put it on! That’s an order from your Queen!” Ben harumphed and disappeared behind the card carousel. Moments later, he reappeared awkwardly. He was dressed as a princess with the grumpiest look on his face. “You know I said how pretty you would look as a princess?” began Raj. “Yep.” “I was wrong.” Then,”
― David Walliams, Gangsta Granny Strikes Again!

“I was thinking of retiring after tonight,” he replied. “Retiring? This is just the beginning. Tonight, a ballroom legend will be born!” It’s official! thought Ben. My mum is bonkers!”
― David Walliams, Gangsta Granny Strikes Again!

“Ben, haven’t you always wanted to dress up as a pretty little princess?”
― David Walliams, Gangsta Granny Strikes Again!

“neighbour. He is a retired major and now runs the local Neighbourhood Watch group, Lower Toddle branch. It is a collection of oldies who have joined forces to keep an eye out for burglars, but Mr Parker uses it as an excuse to spy on everyone. One person he has got his eye on particularly is Ben. The nosy neighbour had been convinced the boy and his granny had stolen the Crown Jewels, but nobody had believed him. Now Mr Parker is out for revenge!”
― David Walliams, Gangsta Granny Strikes Again!

“As soon as Ben had been set down and the lorry driver had plodded off to unload the next waxwork, Ben darted off down the corridor. He needed to find the scene of the crime, to see if there were any clues the police had missed. Eventually, after passing the waxworks of presidents and popes and pop stars, but strangely no plumbers, he found the room where the figures of the British royal family were on display. As the theft had been in the news, the room was full of tourists eager to catch a glimpse of the empty space where the waxwork of the Queen had stood. Some were even taking pictures of… well, nothing. Ben looked around the ornate red-and-gold room, decorated to look like the”
― David Walliams, Gangsta Granny Strikes Again!

“Nazi”
― David Walliams, Gangsta Granny Strikes Again!

“Can I just say something?” “Could you please stop interrupting me?” “Yep!” “Thank you.” “No problem.” “BE QUIET!” “Got it!” replied Ben, and he mimed zipping up his mouth.”
― David Walliams, Gangsta Granny Strikes Again!

“The Italian king of the dance floor has a deep-mahogany spray tan, shiny slicked-back hair and the most dazzlingly white teeth you ever did see.”
― David Walliams, Gangsta Granny Strikes Again!