More Rules for Life Quotes

“Hunting is not a sport

Unless, of course, you’re hunting a fellow hunter who also has a gun. Now you’ve got yourselves a contest.”
― Kitty Flanagan, More Rules for Life: A special volume for enthusiasts

“suck your chips.”
― Kitty Flanagan, More Rules for Life: A special volume for enthusiasts

“Once a month, hold your yoga pants up to the light”
― Kitty Flanagan, More Rules for Life: A special volume for enthusiasts

“Don’t pretend to be my friend

At the beginning of the pandemic, I got a flurry of emails from companies and stores who were all very keen to be my friend and help get me through these tough times. The CEO of Woolworths started emailing me personally and including a picture of himself. ‘Dear Kitty,’ he wrote, before going on to tell me all sorts of tales about the crazy capers the Woolies staff had been up to that I can’t quite remember (he did get on a bit, I think he might have been lonely). Furniture store West Elm also emailed to say they had my back. Thanks, guys! Specifically, they wrote: ‘Whether it’s keeping the kids entertained or getting creative in the kitchen, West Elm is here to help.’ I was delighted. I wrote back to let them know I didn’t have an kids but that I could sure use a new sofa given that I was doing a lot more sitting on my arse these days. Maybe my email went to their junk folder, I don’t know, but I never did hear back from them.”
― Kitty Flanagan, More Rules for Life: A special volume for enthusiasts

“Always state your whereabouts when talking to someone on the phone

This rule is specifically for dog owners when they’re out walking their dogs, and it’s included at my sister’s request. Apparently, she and I were talking on the phone one day but I neglected to mention that I was walking my dogs at the time. So when I shouted, ‘Gotta go, there’s a poo happening!’ and hung up, she had no idea the poo in question belonged to one of my dogs. Rather, she assumed I’d become some sort of chronic oversharer who liked to keep everyone apprised of my movements.”
― Kitty Flanagan, More Rules for Life: A special volume for enthusiasts

“Don’t wear all of your luggage
Budget airlines keep the fare down by providing the bare minimum. A seat. And that’s it. Anything else, like a bag or a biscuit or a bit of dignity, is going to cost you extra. That’s why the canny travellers wear layer upon layer of clothing and stuff their pockets with phone chargers, shoes, iPads, bottled water, crushed up bags of McDonald’s and other snacks, and then sew their jewels and valuables into the hems of their coats. Okay, maybe I made that last one up, but it’s a fine line between wearing a few extra items to save on luggage costs and looking like you’re escaping a fascist regime.”
― Kitty Flanagan, More Rules for Life: A special volume for enthusiasts