Jake's Magical Market Quotes

“That strange vampire visited me at night again and bought a few more romance novels. He told me his name was Vlad, but I didn’t believe him. It was probably Steve or something boring and he was embarrassed about being the vampire named Steve.”
― J.R. Mathews, Jake's Magical Market

“I had the stump of my illusion’s arm spurting an entirely excessive amount of blood, and my clone aimed his arm up at the youth so they were all liberally sprayed with it.”
― J.R. Mathews, Jake's Magical Market

“I stood slowly and used another Mend on myself and my clothes—which were now covered in goo again—then put my sword away and gave the octopus monster the middle finger to make myself feel better.”
― J.R. Mathews, Jake's Magical Market

“I spent the day the world ended thinking about melons.”
― J.R. Mathews, Jake's Magical Market

“All of those things had been done to me and had an effect on me, but blaming them for what I was choosing to do was just a childish way to stop taking responsibility for my actions.”
― J.R. Mathews, Jake's Magical Market

“Elemental Burst Level 1 Rare Power Ultimate Evolution Fire burns, ice slows, earth pierces, and wind disrupts. Together, their powers combine to seriously blow shit up. Grants the caster the ability to summon a burst of elemental destruction once every ten seconds. This burst does a high amount of damage, slows, pierces, and knocks back one target.”
― J.R. Mathews, Jake's Magical Market

“Bookworm Level 1 Uncommon Power Sometimes spending your life reading ends up paying off. Sometimes it doesn’t. A passive ability that grants clarity of mind, enhanced cognition, and a small increase in damage, duration, and range of all spell cards.”
― J.R. Mathews, Jake's Magical Market

“Preparedness Level 1 Rare Power Being prepared is the next best thing to not having to prepare at all. A passive ability that grants double damage or effect for one ability, spell, or attack upon entering combat if the possessor is not caught by surprise by the combat.”
― J.R. Mathews, Jake's Magical Market

“Robe of Minor Time Saving Uncommon Power Grants the wearer a three-second reduction in cooldown on any non-time-based card cast after using a time-based card. Grants the wearer slight resistance to spells and abilities.”
― J.R. Mathews, Jake's Magical Market

“Fire Bolts Level 1 Uncommon Power Fire lives to spread. Spread it gratuitously so you can live, too. Grants the caster the ability to summon five Fire Bolts once every ten seconds. Fire Bolts randomly target nearby enemies.”
― J.R. Mathews, Jake's Magical Market

“Haste Level 1 Rare Power Time flows too fast for most mortals to ever appreciate the miracle that their lives truly are. However, other times, it flows too slow for mortals to continue living. Grants the caster the ability to speed up their movement speed, reaction time, and mental processing speed for sixty seconds per day.”
― J.R. Mathews, Jake's Magical Market

“Time Sense Level 1 Legendary Power Time is the greatest punishment given to mankind. If one looks hard enough, they may find a way to escape its grasp. Grants the caster the ability to stop time for up to thirty seconds once a day, or the caster may gain perfect insight into the immediate future for sixty seconds. The user occasionally gains insights into what may happen in the immediate future.”
― J.R. Mathews, Jake's Magical Market

“Wisdom of the Ages Level 1 Rare Power Sometimes you live long enough to see that the world is just one predictable pattern after another. A passive ability that grants occasional insights into what may happen in the immediate future.”
― J.R. Mathews, Jake's Magical Market

“shards, common, uncommon, rare, legendary, and artifact.”
― J.R. Mathews, Jake's Magical Market

“Cards may be collected from any slain being or traded amongst people. Cards looted all have their level reset to level one. Cards may increase in level by combining five cards per level into one card. So a level-one card requires five cards to upgrade. A level-two card requires ten cards to upgrade. And so on. The sacrificed cards are removed from your deck and the remaining card gains a level. A card’s powers increase each time it is leveled, and it gains new functions every five levels. Cards may also be evolved by combining two compatible cards to form a new card. Evolved cards can sometimes be more powerful or serve a more specific role.”
― J.R. Mathews, Jake's Magical Market

“Time Stasis Level 1 Legendary Power Time is the greatest punishment given to mankind, for no person has ever escaped the call of time when it comes to collect its due. Grants the caster the ability to stop time for up to thirty seconds once a day.”
― J.R. Mathews, Jake's Magical Market